1 00:00:07,458 --> 00:00:12,458 [speaks alien language] 2 00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:15,375 Ugh. What's the alien word for "soup"? 3 00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:16,833 Oh, soup? Uh... 4 00:00:16,833 --> 00:00:21,000 [speaks alien language] 5 00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:25,500 For aliens, soup is a really complicated concept. 6 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,875 It's a food that you drink and chew. 7 00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:30,875 Which is crazy. Crazy. 8 00:00:37,583 --> 00:00:40,833 Can you please tell me what the point of Alien Language League is? 9 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:44,458 It's like, if aliens come to Earth, they should just speak Earth. 10 00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:48,833 Alex, clubs provide a positive environment 11 00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:50,416 for people with like interests. 12 00:00:50,416 --> 00:00:52,458 Which is why I joined Alien Language League. 13 00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:55,125 You don't like alien language. 14 00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,166 Nope. 15 00:00:57,166 --> 00:00:58,583 But I like Zeke. 16 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,208 [speaks alien] 17 00:01:06,208 --> 00:01:07,583 [both reply in alien] 18 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:09,375 Uh-uh! No. 19 00:01:09,375 --> 00:01:12,000 Hey, you wanna-be-aliens leave my friend alone. 20 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,458 She's the only one who sees through me and sticks around. 21 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,291 Relax, Alex. I'm just helping them plan their banquet. 22 00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:19,625 - Mm-hmm. - [scoffs] 23 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:22,000 Why do people make such big deals out of banquets? 24 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,458 It's like, "Hey, let's all sit around 25 00:01:24,458 --> 00:01:27,416 and listen to stupid speeches while we all eat the same exact meal." 26 00:01:28,875 --> 00:01:30,708 I like eating the same as everyone else. 27 00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:33,500 That way I never feel bad about ordering wrong. 28 00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:40,000 Well, I mean, I'd be OK with it if we all ate my favorite meal. 29 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,625 Biscuits and loose corn. 30 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,166 Loose corn? 31 00:01:44,166 --> 00:01:47,458 [scoffs] It's just called corn. 32 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:52,375 I like it cut off the cob. Cobs are too heavy. 33 00:01:52,375 --> 00:01:55,416 Eighty percent of the weight you're picking up you're not even eating. 34 00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:58,750 OK, every year the Alien Language League hands out 35 00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:01,458 the Lifetime Achievement Award to a graduating senior. 36 00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:04,708 And I have it on good authority that I have it in the bag. 37 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,416 This year it really will be the best year ever... 38 00:02:07,416 --> 00:02:08,708 ...for me! 39 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,416 Plus, we got Joey "The Crepe Kid," coming in. 40 00:02:12,416 --> 00:02:14,208 He's the youngest crepe chef in the city. 41 00:02:14,208 --> 00:02:17,125 He makes crepes from all around the world. It's gonna be... 42 00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:18,208 ...crepe-tacular. 43 00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:22,875 You know, Zeke. You are so cute when you're easily excited. 44 00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:25,333 But I'm always easily excited. 45 00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:26,708 I know. 46 00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:36,708 And guys, guess what? The banquet is gonna be here in the Sub Shop, 47 00:02:36,708 --> 00:02:38,750 so the whole family can come. 48 00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:42,208 Mm-hmm, yeah. I don't need to know when it is, because I'm busy. 49 00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:46,125 Ooh, no, because I checked your calendar and you've got no plans for the next 30 years. 50 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,291 Ha. I don't have a calendar. 51 00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:52,583 Ha. People who don't have calendars also don't have plans. 52 00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:55,458 Owned! So hard! Owned! 53 00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:00,750 Yeah, sometimes he wins. 54 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,250 ♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪ 55 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:07,375 ♪ That the end will no doubt justify the means ♪ 56 00:03:07,375 --> 00:03:09,500 ♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪ 57 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,958 ♪ Yes, please ♪ 58 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,875 ♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪ 59 00:03:12,875 --> 00:03:14,833 ♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪ 60 00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:17,458 ♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪ 61 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,958 ♪ That's what I said ♪ 62 00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:22,125 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 63 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:26,125 ♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪ 64 00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:29,750 ♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪ 65 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:34,333 ♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 66 00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:37,625 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 67 00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:41,833 ♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪ 68 00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:45,125 ♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪ 69 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:48,291 ♪ Because everything is not ♪ 70 00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:51,416 ♪ What it seems ♪♪ 71 00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,458 [fairy giggles] 72 00:04:20,166 --> 00:04:22,000 - [Jerry screams] - [clattering] 73 00:04:24,416 --> 00:04:26,416 [tiny creatures grunting] 74 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,458 Hey, you're grouchy. 75 00:04:31,458 --> 00:04:34,291 Your hands smell like delicious chocolate. 76 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,291 [creatures screaming] 77 00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:39,708 Dad, pocket elves can't fly. 78 00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:44,000 Oops. 79 00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:47,708 Alex, how many times do I have to tell you 80 00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:49,500 to keep the portal door closed?! 81 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,000 At least one more? 82 00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:57,083 We can't have Wizard World creatures drifting in here all the time. 83 00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:59,708 It gets so stuffy in here. 84 00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:02,416 Mostly because our lair is inside a produce locker 85 00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:06,583 where you don't throw out vegetables until they start growing other vegetables. 86 00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:09,833 Hey, we haven't paid for mushrooms in over ten years. 87 00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,375 [scoffs] 88 00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:12,625 [buzzing] 89 00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:16,458 You see! You let a wizard bug in. 90 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,000 - Get the door! - Get... 91 00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:23,000 What...?! 92 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:31,708 Oh! I need a bigger broom. One that stays together. 93 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:34,958 Where'd it go? 94 00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:38,583 Dad. Don't move. It's on your back. 95 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,250 Come on, get it! Ooh, not with that! 96 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:44,875 You're gonna kill the bug and me! 97 00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,875 Ow! It bit me! 98 00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:53,333 It's dead. 99 00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,458 [squish] 100 00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:59,250 Now it's a stain. [chuckles] 101 00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:03,625 Oh, it really hurts. 102 00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:05,000 Did it leave a mark? 103 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 Oh. 104 00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:12,416 Oh... no. You can't even see it. 105 00:06:12,416 --> 00:06:13,833 I'll go get my magnifying glass, 106 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,875 'cause I, I don't even know where the bite is. 107 00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,500 - [bell dings] - Ooh! 108 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,958 [sizzling] 109 00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:38,333 [laughs] 110 00:06:41,458 --> 00:06:43,583 You have a popcorn machine in your locker? 111 00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:46,250 - Where do you keep your books? - In your locker. 112 00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:50,125 I have a locker? You said only girls get them. 113 00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:53,583 [alarm blares] 114 00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,333 [alien accent] Attention... citizens of Tribeca Prep. 115 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,833 - Ahh. Ahh. - Ahh. Ahh. 116 00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:06,208 Do not be alarmed for we come in peace. 117 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:09,375 [alien accent] Ahh. We have traveled the far reaches of the galaxy 118 00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:11,708 to deliver you a special message. 119 00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:13,208 - Special. - Oh. 120 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:19,583 [alien accent] Tonight all members of the Alien Language League are required 121 00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:22,291 to report to a secret last minute location... 122 00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,083 [both] Ahh. 123 00:07:24,083 --> 00:07:26,250 ...the Waverly Sub Station. 124 00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:28,333 Ohh... Waverly... 125 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,208 Where you will enjoy the finest alien-themed entertainment, 126 00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:33,875 including crepes made by Joey The Crepe Kid. 127 00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:36,000 - Joey! - [crowd] Yeah! 128 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 - Yeah! - Whoo! 129 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,166 - All right! - Joey! 130 00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:42,708 - That went well. - Yes, it did. [clears throat] 131 00:07:42,708 --> 00:07:46,833 [normal voice] Well... We now return you to your regularly scheduled classes. 132 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:47,958 All right. 133 00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:50,625 Thank you, you're great. 134 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:54,833 Hey, guys. If Joey The Crepe Kid is in, MacGruder is in. 135 00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:57,750 This totally tops the Math Club's taco bar. 136 00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,291 - Yeah. Tacos are gross. - Yes! Math? Losers. 137 00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,000 What's a taco? 138 00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:06,583 Alex, all these alien theatrics have given me an idea. 139 00:08:07,708 --> 00:08:09,750 I'm going to start an alien language club. 140 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,583 That's what this is. Alien Language League. 141 00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:17,083 Don't tell them what I'm doing or they're gonna copy me. 142 00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:20,291 They're already doing it. 143 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,083 Not if I do it first. 144 00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:24,958 May the best club win. 145 00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:29,583 You are a delight. 146 00:08:31,291 --> 00:08:33,000 Zeke, that was great! 147 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,583 I'm so glad we kept that smoke machine 148 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,333 from our failed DJ business. 149 00:08:36,333 --> 00:08:39,958 I still think ZJ the DJs can work. 150 00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:41,958 Wikki-wikki. Me, too. 151 00:08:41,958 --> 00:08:44,000 [both beat boxing] 152 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,083 Dude! You think I can use it when I accept my Lifetime Achievement Award? 153 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:51,333 Right on. You, sir, are my bro-dre from another mo-dre. 154 00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:54,416 [both laugh, beat box] 155 00:08:57,083 --> 00:09:00,583 You cannot tell me that you're still into Zeke after that nerd circus. 156 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,166 [imitating light saber sounds] 157 00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:05,166 [both shouting] 158 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,166 Still into him. 159 00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:19,125 Uh... Excuse me, 160 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,375 Joey The Crepe Kid, where is your sign? 161 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:23,875 When people walk into places they like big signs 162 00:09:23,875 --> 00:09:25,583 to tell them what's going on. 163 00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:29,875 Nah. I think it's pretty self-explanatory, Mrs. Russo, 164 00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:31,708 When people walk up to my crepe station 165 00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:33,750 and see what's going on. I'm just sayin'. 166 00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:35,458 You know. [clicks] 167 00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:38,583 Are you setting up here some sort of pumpkin carving booth? 168 00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:39,625 Whoa! 169 00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,333 We need a sign. Just sayin'. 170 00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:48,458 Hey, Mom. I'm having my new Alien Language Club over later. 171 00:09:48,458 --> 00:09:52,875 Max, honey, we're having a banquet for Alien Language League. 172 00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:55,833 Nice! Thank you for your support. 173 00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,416 Hey, Joey, lookin' good. 174 00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:02,125 Lookin' good. 175 00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:04,208 You, uh, you need a hand, you know, chef to chef? 176 00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:06,583 - Where's the other chef? - Hey, come on. 177 00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:08,708 [all gasping] 178 00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:11,458 What's wrong with your hand? 179 00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:13,375 [stammers] Uh, nothing. 180 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:15,583 Nothing's wrong. I just have a skin condition 181 00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:18,458 that flares up every once in a while and, um... 182 00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,875 - I don't moisturize enough. - Moisturize. 183 00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:25,333 Dad, you're turning into a bug. 184 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,375 I know. I think it's because I got bit by a wizard bug 185 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,708 when Alex left the portal door open. 186 00:10:30,708 --> 00:10:33,375 You're gonna lose control and run around all crazy. 187 00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:35,875 You've seen what the bugs do when you turn the lights on. 188 00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,708 They lose control and run around all crazy. 189 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:40,750 I'm just gonna find something to cover my hand with. 190 00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:44,166 With what?! They don't make roach mittens! 191 00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:49,000 I'm sure it'll be fine. He'll be back to normal in no time. 192 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,625 - [sighs] - [squishy sound] 193 00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:53,333 [screams] 194 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,500 What? Oh! 195 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,708 This place is disgusting. 196 00:10:57,708 --> 00:11:00,083 That's the biggest bug I ever seen. 197 00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:03,708 - [Jerry gasping] - [Joey whistles] Get the car goin'! 198 00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:11,958 Jerry, are you in here? 199 00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:13,875 [screams] Bright lights! 200 00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:15,833 Bright lights! [shouts] 201 00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:22,083 My husband's a bug. 202 00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:23,750 I should have married Marty Stoller. 203 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,166 I'd be a dentist's wife. 204 00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:28,875 First we lose Joey The Crepe Kid and now this? 205 00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:32,625 This is not the proper atmosphere in which to receive the Lifetime Achievement Award. 206 00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:37,583 Dad's a bug? I get to flick him first! 207 00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:40,500 Ah! 208 00:11:42,708 --> 00:11:44,000 I'm so sorry, Justin. 209 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,333 But we can't have people here 210 00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,708 while your Dad is flitting around like crazy. 211 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,500 Even if we try to lock him up, 212 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,416 he'll eat his way through the door. 213 00:11:51,416 --> 00:11:54,708 He already can eat his way through take-out containers with human teeth. 214 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,125 We're gonna have to cancel the banquet. 215 00:11:58,125 --> 00:11:59,583 [scoffs] Not my banquet! 216 00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,708 Look. Some confusing stuff's going on. 217 00:12:01,708 --> 00:12:03,458 We all need to make some sacrifices. 218 00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:06,000 Say we cancel Justin's banquet. 219 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:08,833 Mine will go on. 220 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,875 We are not cancelling the banquet. 221 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:16,208 Come on. We're the Russos. 222 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:19,750 We can't let something small like Dad turning into 223 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,625 a life-sized, disgusting roach 224 00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:25,625 ruin Justin's senior year moment. We are the Russos! 225 00:12:27,583 --> 00:12:30,875 - No matter how many times you say "We are the Russos"... - [whispers] We are the Russos. 226 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,833 ...you can't hide the fact this is another of my senior year moments 227 00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:36,500 - that you wanna see wrecked. - [whispers] We're the Russos. 228 00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:38,458 Unlike you, 229 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,416 I'm only going to have one senior year moment, 230 00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:42,625 so I'm trying to get this one right. Don't say it! 231 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,708 And I am gonna make sure 232 00:12:45,708 --> 00:12:48,500 that you get your senior year moment, Justin. 233 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,750 This is just a little bug bite. 234 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:52,625 I'm sure I can control myself. 235 00:12:54,416 --> 00:12:56,708 Dad! I don't know how many times I'm gonna tell you, 236 00:12:56,708 --> 00:13:00,000 it's not a bite. You're a dirty, nasty bug. 237 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,458 Hey! That is no way to talk to your exoskeleton father! 238 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:08,166 OK, I don't know what we're gonna do, 'cause these things last days. 239 00:13:08,166 --> 00:13:10,375 Hey! I still have my face. 240 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,000 Uh, here's an idea, I'll just throw on an overcoat and a top hat 241 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,083 and I'll, I'll just... blend right in. 242 00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:22,083 Jerry, you're not gonna blend right in. 243 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:26,000 You need to stay up in the loft until this thing runs its course. 244 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,458 Great. Are we voting? 245 00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:31,291 'Cause I like the idea of the top hat and overcoat. Who's with me? 246 00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:34,458 OK, OK. I'll stay upstairs. 247 00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:38,250 If someone tapes a spatula to my claw, 248 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,833 and someone else catches the goo falling from my face, 249 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,833 I'm pretty sure I can make the crepes. 250 00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:47,500 Dibs on catching the goo. 251 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,583 Thank you so much for coming to my club. It really means a lot. 252 00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:55,416 Thank you for joining. Always a pleasure to see you, buddy! 253 00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:57,208 Ha-ha! Thank you for coming. 254 00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:59,291 Thank you so much for joining my club. 255 00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:02,458 Wow. Look how many people showed up for my club. 256 00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:03,958 It's very humbling. 257 00:14:06,625 --> 00:14:07,625 [clears throat] 258 00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:11,000 [speaks alien] 259 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,625 - [mouths] Little. Louder. - Excuse me, can I have your attention please? 260 00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:17,458 [clears throat] Excuse me, 261 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:19,875 if you could please just... If your attention... 262 00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:22,875 Could you just focus... on me for a second? 263 00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:24,166 That would be good. 264 00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:26,583 I think I can help. 265 00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:31,750 Listen up, people! 266 00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:34,208 I know where all of you live, so shut it, 267 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:37,250 or I'll make a guest appearance in each and every one of your nightmares! 268 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:42,083 Have a nice banquet! 269 00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:47,750 OK, welcome to this year's Alien Language League banquet. 270 00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:50,208 [speaks alien] 271 00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,291 [all answer in alien] 272 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:55,125 - [Zeke] Great. - Where is Joey The Crepe Kid? 273 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:56,458 His crepes are the only reason 274 00:14:56,458 --> 00:15:00,708 I spent $50 on an Alien Language dictionary. 275 00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:03,625 We have something even better than Joey The Crepe Kid. 276 00:15:03,625 --> 00:15:05,125 Why don't you sit on down? 277 00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:06,958 Go check on the crepes. 278 00:15:06,958 --> 00:15:08,750 My banquet, my problem. 279 00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:14,083 In the meantime, our sci-fi movie scene players 280 00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:15,500 are gonna come up and perform 281 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:16,958 one of the greatest 282 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:21,000 alien scenes of all time, 283 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,833 E.T. Raids the Refrigerator. 284 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:26,000 - [gasps] Huh? Oh, man. - [crowd murmurs] 285 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,125 - Come on. - Oh, man, exciting. 286 00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:33,750 OK, here's the last batch of crepes. 287 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,416 Oh, there you go. 288 00:15:35,416 --> 00:15:37,958 You see what we can do when we work together? 289 00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:41,250 Yeah. See what I can do while you yell, "Faster, faster, faster!" 290 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,000 Look, somebody has to be the yeller. 291 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,750 [crunching] 292 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:49,166 Guys, are my crepes ready yet? My club members are getting... [gasps] 293 00:15:50,708 --> 00:15:53,833 Jerry, please don't tell me you just ate all the crepes?! 294 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,708 Technically, I didn't eat them. 295 00:15:56,708 --> 00:15:58,375 I vomited acid all over them, 296 00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,166 and when they liquefied I slurped them up. 297 00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:05,208 Yeah, that's pretty much how you normally eat. 298 00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:09,083 I don't think this is gonna fly with my club members. 299 00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,333 They made it obvious they're expecting crepes. 300 00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:15,000 Well, I was expecting this whole thing to blow up down there, not up here. 301 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:19,416 This is kind of taking all the fun out of it, though. 302 00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:20,458 I guess I'll help. 303 00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:27,875 I'll be right here. 304 00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:29,750 [sobs] 305 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,708 [makes noise] 306 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:34,875 Good by... E.T. [sobs] 307 00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:40,000 [both] And scene. 308 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,208 [both speak alien] 309 00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:45,250 [all speak alien] 310 00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:47,500 Yeah, OK. Wacka-wacka whatever. 311 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:52,375 All right, bravo. This is a great banquet so far, huh? 312 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:55,500 All right, why don't we just get right to the Lifetime Achievement Award? 313 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:58,833 Wait, we're supposed to eat first. OK, where are those crepes? 314 00:16:58,833 --> 00:17:00,875 When I say "crepes," you say "Oop-blopp!" 315 00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,291 - Crepes! Crepes! - [all] Oop-blopp. Oop-blopp. 316 00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:07,000 Look! Unless you'll settle for some tortillas and some powdered sugar, 317 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,583 - you're not getting any crepes. - [all groaning] 318 00:17:10,583 --> 00:17:13,291 Instead, we are having 319 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:15,583 biscuits and loose corn. 320 00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:17,833 [all groaning] 321 00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:19,291 What's going on? 322 00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:20,833 Dad ate all the crepes. 323 00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:22,958 [whispers] No. I mean, why are you helping me? 324 00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:26,625 Well, first of all, this is an opportunity 325 00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:28,958 for me to get some biscuits and loose corn. 326 00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,458 And second of all... 327 00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:34,875 - No, there was just one reason. - Good. 328 00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:37,958 So, biscuits, loose corn, and this lame entertainment? 329 00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:41,333 This is the worst banquet ever. 330 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,708 I'm hungry and I am angry. 331 00:17:44,708 --> 00:17:46,250 I'm "hangry." 332 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,375 No, no, no! Wait. Don't leave. 333 00:17:49,375 --> 00:17:50,833 Forget it, Alex. It's over. 334 00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:52,708 I'm not gonna get my Lifetime Achievement Award. 335 00:17:52,708 --> 00:17:54,000 Thanks a lot. 336 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,083 Look, besides the fact that every guy in here cares more 337 00:17:58,083 --> 00:18:00,166 about having crepes than having girlfriends, 338 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,875 this is the wrong version of ending badly I had in mind. 339 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:06,000 If I'm not gonna get my way, at least you should get your way. 340 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,291 - Harper. [clicks tongue] - Hey! 341 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,416 Everybody sit down now! 342 00:18:17,416 --> 00:18:18,708 [mouths] Good job, Zeke. 343 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,875 Oh. Wow. Now I've got to think of something. 344 00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:34,625 OK, everyone. We have a very special guest. 345 00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,875 Thank you for that warm introduction, Alex. 346 00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,625 Not you. [mouths] Sit down. 347 00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:42,708 We can't do this. Dad's a wizard bug. 348 00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:43,958 No, no, no. It's OK. 349 00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:46,083 When you show people something completely crazy, 350 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,291 they try to make sense of it. 351 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:53,083 Hey, everybody! It's an alien from the Guaga galaxy! 352 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:54,875 [all murmuring] 353 00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:55,875 Like that. 354 00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:57,875 Great costume! 355 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,416 What did you make the face goo out of? 356 00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:02,000 Oh, don't tell me. I don't want to spoil the illusion. 357 00:19:03,958 --> 00:19:06,458 And, and he came in peace. 358 00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:08,708 - Ooh! - Of course he did. 359 00:19:08,708 --> 00:19:11,583 The inhabitants of the Guaga galaxy have been non-violent 360 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,875 since the females moved to the southern hemisphere. 361 00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:15,583 Yeah. 362 00:19:15,583 --> 00:19:18,708 - And he came to entertain you. - Ooh! 363 00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:20,083 With impressions. 364 00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:22,416 The Guagians are amazing at impressions. 365 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,583 I'm not good at impressions. 366 00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:28,958 Say anything. They're nerds. They don't want to admit they don't get something. 367 00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:32,291 Ahh, ahh... 368 00:19:32,291 --> 00:19:33,583 Howdy, everybody. 369 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:34,958 It's Woody, from Toy Story! 370 00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:38,583 Look at the viscosity of his face acid. 371 00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:40,625 That's what happens to the Guagians 372 00:19:40,625 --> 00:19:42,416 in Earth's extreme temperatures. 373 00:19:42,416 --> 00:19:44,458 Yeah, that's exactly right, Zeke. 374 00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:45,625 Notice, everyone notice, 375 00:19:45,625 --> 00:19:48,458 his authentic spatula claw. 376 00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:52,208 [whispers] Why didn't you remove his spatula claw? 377 00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:54,583 Yeah, no, that's not just any spatula. 378 00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:56,875 That's an intergalactic spatula. 379 00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:59,291 Ooh! 380 00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:01,458 I can't believe they're buying this. 381 00:20:02,875 --> 00:20:05,125 - They are your people. - Yeah. 382 00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,750 Ahh... 383 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:11,125 First, I'd like to apologize for the lack of crepes. 384 00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:15,000 I was hungry from my long journey and I couldn't help myself. 385 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,458 OK. So, without further ado, 386 00:20:19,458 --> 00:20:21,458 I would like to present this year's 387 00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:24,208 Alien Language League Lifetime Achievement Award 388 00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:26,375 to someone who was smart enough 389 00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:29,250 to get in contact with my people and have me here tonight: 390 00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:32,083 Justin Russo! 391 00:20:32,083 --> 00:20:34,000 [all applauding] 392 00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:41,458 - Thank you so much. - Justin Russo? 393 00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:43,125 I was robbed! 394 00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:45,625 I poured my blood, sweat and tears into this club. 395 00:20:57,625 --> 00:21:01,375 Wow. What a way to go out in my senior year. 396 00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:03,125 I totally wasn't expecting this. 397 00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:04,208 I mean, really. 398 00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:05,416 I absolutely wasn't. 399 00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:09,083 [exhales] I guess I'd just like to say thank you 400 00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:11,291 to each and every one of you that voted for me. 401 00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:13,291 And to those of you that didn't... 402 00:21:13,291 --> 00:21:14,291 Hah! 403 00:21:15,958 --> 00:21:18,291 I... I really would like to send a shout out 404 00:21:19,291 --> 00:21:20,708 right up there to my sister, 405 00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:23,208 for making this truly, truly 406 00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:27,250 the most memorable senior year moment that... 407 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,375 ...I'll ever have. 408 00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:32,875 And please don't let me have another. 409 00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:46,208 OK, round two of biscuits and loose corn. 410 00:21:46,208 --> 00:21:48,500 - Hey, where did everybody go? - Uh-uh. That's for me. 411 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,583 Here, set it down. Go get me Dad's big spoon. I can't get enough of this. 412 00:21:53,125 --> 00:21:54,750 I don't care about the food. 413 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:57,333 - I'm just happy that I got my trophy. - [sloshing sounds] 414 00:21:58,875 --> 00:22:00,708 [belches] Uh-oh. 415 00:22:01,416 --> 00:22:02,875 Dad! 416 00:22:02,875 --> 00:22:04,458 You melted my trophy! 417 00:22:05,250 --> 00:22:06,583 [stammers] I was just 418 00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:08,166 trying to read the engraving.