1 00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:08,625 - [dogs barking on stereo] - [screaming] 2 00:00:08,625 --> 00:00:11,208 No! Stop following me! Go away! 3 00:00:17,625 --> 00:00:20,125 Harper! 4 00:00:20,125 --> 00:00:21,583 [barking stops on stereo] 5 00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,333 Really?! 6 00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:25,833 Alex, I'm sorry. 7 00:00:25,833 --> 00:00:27,750 I knew you'd be annoyed by physical activity, 8 00:00:27,750 --> 00:00:29,416 so I'm training while you're asleep. 9 00:00:29,416 --> 00:00:30,625 Well, I'm awake. 10 00:00:30,625 --> 00:00:32,708 Your invisible dogs woke me up. 11 00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:36,125 Alex, I'm training for the marathon. 12 00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:38,125 And sorry about the dog noises. 13 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:42,250 It helps me run faster when I feel like dogs are about to eat my face. 14 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:45,458 Why would you ever want to run 26 miles? 15 00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:49,000 The same reason you stayed on the couch for the entire month of July. 16 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,708 Oh, I get it. 17 00:00:50,708 --> 00:00:53,000 A sense of accomplishment. 18 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,583 Setting a goal and then achieving it. 19 00:00:57,583 --> 00:01:00,833 Well, then, I guess I should be supportive here. 20 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:02,750 All right, what's the thing that people say? 21 00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:04,833 Oh, yeah... keep it down! 22 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:09,250 [dogs barking on stereo] 23 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,208 Hey! 24 00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:20,833 ♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪ 25 00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:22,875 ♪ That the end will no doubt justify the means ♪ 26 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,083 ♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪ 27 00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,500 ♪ Yes, please ♪ 28 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,416 ♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪ 29 00:01:28,416 --> 00:01:30,250 ♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪ 30 00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:32,875 ♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪ 31 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,375 ♪ That's what I said ♪ 32 00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:37,583 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 33 00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:41,583 ♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪ 34 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:45,208 ♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪ 35 00:01:45,208 --> 00:01:49,750 ♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 36 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:53,083 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 37 00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:57,250 ♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪ 38 00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:00,500 ♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪ 39 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:03,708 ♪ Because everything is not ♪ 40 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,875 ♪ What it seems ♪♪ 41 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,833 Har... Harper! 42 00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:13,416 What's up, what're you doing? 43 00:02:13,416 --> 00:02:15,875 I'm blending up all this fruit to make a smoothie. 44 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:18,458 That's... that's actually an awesome idea. 45 00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:20,625 A drinkable meal. 46 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,166 I really hate chewing. 47 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,625 Birds are so lucky. Their moms just chew up their food 48 00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:28,833 and they spit it right in their mouths. 49 00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:31,708 I really wish my dad married a bird. 50 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,375 Hey, honey. 51 00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:44,083 Look how healthy Harper's eating. 52 00:02:44,083 --> 00:02:47,000 Oh, yeah. You know she's training to run a marathon. 53 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,458 Oh, you must be very proud of your daughter. 54 00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:53,833 Yes, we are. That's our daughter. 55 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:56,958 Come on, she's not your daughter. 56 00:02:57,625 --> 00:02:59,625 Hey, guys! Check it out. 57 00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:02,708 If you put cereal on hot dogs, it counts as breakfast. 58 00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:06,416 That's your daughter. 59 00:03:06,416 --> 00:03:08,291 Yeah. 60 00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:10,875 It's so hard to be filled with pride 61 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,250 and have no one to give it to. 62 00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,416 Hey, you should be proud of me. 63 00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,708 I got a whole bookcase full of trophies in my bedroom: 64 00:03:17,708 --> 00:03:19,625 The... Scholastic Decathlon, 65 00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:22,875 debate team and the Alien Language League, among others. 66 00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:26,250 And that's not even counting ribbons or my pat-on-the-back photo album. 67 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:28,708 You know, honey, we... we are very proud of you. 68 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,833 But... come on, 69 00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:32,583 those awards required 70 00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:36,125 no physical movement on your part. 71 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:39,458 All right, I'm gonna start training for that marathon right now. 72 00:03:39,458 --> 00:03:43,000 Right after I get a pedicure to strengthen my toenails for the big run. Ahh. 73 00:03:47,416 --> 00:03:50,000 All right, come on, Harper. 74 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,416 Eat your breakfast dog so that we can go upstairs and do some couch-camping. 75 00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:56,750 Alex, that's so unhealthy. 76 00:03:56,750 --> 00:04:00,583 My body's a machine and I have to fuel it with the best that nature has to offer. 77 00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:04,166 Well, I got these from the hot dog guy, 78 00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:06,250 and he definitely smells like nature. 79 00:04:07,708 --> 00:04:09,708 Alex, I'm in training. 80 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:13,875 [groans] You still haven't given up on that crazy marathon idea yet? 81 00:04:13,875 --> 00:04:16,125 It's been, like... 82 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,125 Like, four hours. 83 00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:22,000 When I set my mind to something, I stay on it 84 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,291 until I come out a winner. 85 00:04:23,291 --> 00:04:25,166 Remember all those spelling bees I entered? 86 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:27,125 I kept at it until I won. 87 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,625 Yeah, I remember. 88 00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:31,625 Who won that tae kwon do contest? 89 00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:34,000 That's right. This girl. 90 00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:39,708 That smoothie didn't even see it coming. 91 00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:46,583 [phone beeps] 92 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:50,166 Justin, I just got your text 93 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,416 and I am so on it, man. 94 00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:55,583 I'm going to train you to win that marathon. 95 00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:58,458 All right, dude, let's do what it takes 'cause I need this trophy. 96 00:04:58,458 --> 00:05:00,708 Well, then we start right now. Crab walk! 97 00:05:00,708 --> 00:05:03,583 - Crab walk. Crab walk. - Crab walk? 98 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:05,708 Crab walk it out. Love that! 99 00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:07,583 Love that. Bring it up, let's do a duck walk. 100 00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:10,500 Let's do a duck walk! Quack, quack, quack it out. Love that, love that. 101 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,166 Let's cool it down. Let's just cool it down with some leapfrogs. 102 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:14,583 - Leapfrogs? - Ready! 103 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Love it. Good extension. 104 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,875 - Good release. - [Justin] Feels good. 105 00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:22,458 [both grunting] 106 00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:28,708 Is that your son? 107 00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:31,250 [both] No. 108 00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:47,416 I'm not wearing my cat suit! 109 00:05:47,416 --> 00:05:50,375 I told you I never would. Please just stop chasing me. 110 00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:53,083 Harper! 111 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,625 Harper! 112 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,375 [dings] 113 00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:05,583 Alex! I could have fallen. 114 00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:08,125 Harper, when you moved in here, 115 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:12,291 you promised me that you would never, ever, ever run a marathon. 116 00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:13,750 Dear, I never said that. 117 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:19,000 Look, I'm half asleep, so my lies aren't really good right now. 118 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,583 Alex, I'm sorry, 119 00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:24,000 but I've got to keep training. I'm up to eight miles. 120 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,125 If all goes well, I should be able to finish a marathon in... 121 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,583 ...about three years. Yeah. 122 00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:36,750 Three more years of that squeaking? 123 00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:41,750 I've never used magic before my alarm clock went off. 124 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,625 I don't have an alarm clock. 125 00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:52,458 I wish there was some sort of finish-a-marathon spell. 126 00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:54,416 Oh, look, a finish-a-marathon spell. 127 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,458 I love magic. 128 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,833 Aww, thanks, Alex. 129 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,083 You're so supportive. 130 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,833 - Mmm. - [treadmill dings] 131 00:07:09,833 --> 00:07:11,458 All right! 132 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:13,458 Come on, Finkle. You can do this! 133 00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:15,083 Push it, push it, push it! 134 00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:19,083 "Gnip-gnop, hippity-hop, 135 00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:22,000 run 26.2 miles, then stop." 136 00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:26,333 Wow! 137 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:28,583 These protein bars work fast. 138 00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,250 Thanks for coming out. 139 00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:42,750 Oh, cool. Are we gonna throw that at the runners? 140 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:46,291 No, this a drinkable meal. I'm selling them. 141 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,708 This is a special blend of coffee, eggs, hash browns, 142 00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:50,875 and a napkin. 143 00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:53,708 So you don't have to wipe your face after you're done drinking it. 144 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:57,000 Max, people aren't gonna stop running 145 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,833 to buy your cups of mud. 146 00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:02,458 Oh Alex, you're obviously not a business person. 147 00:08:02,458 --> 00:08:04,375 They run by, grab the cup, 148 00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:07,250 I write down their number and bill them. 149 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,083 Well, good luck trying to track down the runners from Kenya. 150 00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:16,833 Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. 151 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:24,125 Oh, hey, Alex. I've got the Alien Language League members 152 00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:26,833 set up at every mile to cheer Justin on. 153 00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:29,416 Well, up until mile four, then we ran out of people. 154 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,375 Oh, my gosh. It's Harper! 155 00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:40,583 She's the lead runner. She could win this thing. 156 00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:42,500 Let's run to the finish line. 157 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:46,875 - That's four miles. - You're right. Let's take a cab. 158 00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:49,750 - Ooh, shotgun! - Sure. It's a cab. 159 00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:53,708 Hold on. 160 00:08:55,958 --> 00:08:59,708 A 16 year-old girl with three weeks of training is going to win a marathon? 161 00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:02,250 Does that seem weird to you, Alex? 162 00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:05,291 Oh, my gosh. It's a miracle! 163 00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:09,208 Go, Harper! Slow down, but go! 164 00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:14,708 Whoo-hoo! Harper, we are so proud of you! 165 00:09:14,708 --> 00:09:16,583 Where should we display your winning trophy? 166 00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:19,083 - In my room. - Oh, don't be silly. 167 00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:24,000 Other people should know that a Russo won the marathon. 168 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,125 She's not a Russo. 169 00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:28,958 Until one of you kids wins a marathon, she is. 170 00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:36,625 Ah, congratulations, Harper. You know what I'm gonna do for you? 171 00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:40,750 I'm going to make you my special after-marathon-get-relaxed smoothie. 172 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:44,375 Herbal tea, warm milk and a jasmine-scented candle. 173 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:47,333 But Max, you're not allowed to play with candles anymore. 174 00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,333 Or a blender, so shut up about it. 175 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,166 [groaning] 176 00:09:56,875 --> 00:09:59,000 [panting] 177 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,375 Justin, you made it. Where you been? 178 00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:05,166 I was finishing the marathon. Where were you? 179 00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:08,291 I wore the alien mask, like we discussed, 180 00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:11,583 when I crossed the finish line, and there was no one there to take the picture. 181 00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:16,458 Without the picture it was just... stupid. 182 00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:19,375 I'm sorry, dude. I got distracted watching Harper win the marathon. 183 00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:23,458 It was amazing. She was like my weird Uncle Charlie, chasing after the garbage truck. 184 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:26,458 It was... a sight to see. 185 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:29,375 Wait a minute. So you're saying that Harper won the marathon? 186 00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,291 Yeah, but don't worry, honey. 187 00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:33,708 You still have all those trophies from... 188 00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:35,291 ...that book stuff. 189 00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:39,000 I didn't even see her. It was like... 190 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,375 It was... 191 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:42,625 She must have passed me when I was putting on the mask. 192 00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,416 - Mmm. - Yeah. 193 00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:47,875 Well, I'm gonna go soak my feet, try to save the toenails. 194 00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:53,583 Alex, Harper, a word. 195 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:59,708 Look what I found in the area-where-Alex-hides-things area. 196 00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:04,208 Well... it's time to move that area again. 197 00:11:04,208 --> 00:11:07,708 A page torn out of The Cheaters' Book of Spells. 198 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,750 Daddy, I... 199 00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:12,583 I think you and I should probably talk about that alone. 200 00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:14,333 Not that I know what that is or... 201 00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:17,750 It describes a spell to help someone finish a marathon. 202 00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,875 And now we need to talk about 203 00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:22,875 not knowing what "talking alone" means. 204 00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:25,583 Oh, my gosh, Alex! You used magic on me so I'd win?! 205 00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:29,083 Not on you. Just your feet. 206 00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:32,458 I'm sorry, Harper. I just couldn't take it anymore, your constant training, 207 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:36,416 and your... your healthy eating. You said you were gonna keep at it until you finished one. 208 00:11:36,416 --> 00:11:38,833 You know, Alex, I thought you learned your lesson 209 00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:41,875 when we grounded you when you did this to Harper at the fifth-grade spelling bee. 210 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,333 Hey, I won that. 211 00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:47,833 [gasps] Oh, my gosh. 212 00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:50,875 My fifth grade spelling bee trophy is a total sham? 213 00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:55,291 Well... well, Harper, you didn't know about magic back then so I couldn't tell you. 214 00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,708 Are all of my achievements a lie because of you? 215 00:11:57,708 --> 00:11:59,500 No. Not all of them. 216 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,166 You... you dressed yourself today. 217 00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:09,416 Mr. Russo, may I please see The Cheater's Book of Spells? 218 00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:10,958 Sure. 219 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,083 "Win at jumping roping spell." 220 00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:16,583 Guilty. 221 00:12:16,583 --> 00:12:19,291 "Achieve black belt in tae kwon do." 222 00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:21,333 Guilty. 223 00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,166 "Picked first for kickball"?! 224 00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,583 I'm surprised you didn't figure that one out on your own. 225 00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:29,250 Well, that's just great, Alex. 226 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:32,458 Some of my biggest achievements in life are lies because of you. 227 00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:34,375 Now, I wouldn't say 228 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:36,583 "picked first in kickball" 229 00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:38,500 is a big achievement. 230 00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:42,291 Well, I guess I wouldn't know. 231 00:12:44,958 --> 00:12:46,750 [door closes] 232 00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:50,000 We don't have to give back the trophy, right? 233 00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:56,208 So you're telling me 234 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:59,625 that Alex used magic so Harper would win the marathon? 235 00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:02,000 I can't believe it's all been a lie. 236 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,875 How could Alex do this to our daughter? 237 00:13:08,375 --> 00:13:10,208 So the trophy's a fake? 238 00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,416 This is the best news ever. 239 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:16,000 Well, Harper's pretty broken up about it. 240 00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:18,875 So what? Alex cheated. 241 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:20,500 She's a cheater! 242 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,250 I can still be the first Russo to win an athletic trophy. 243 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:26,416 I'm gonna train hard, eat right and win the next marathon. 244 00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:30,000 Yeah. I'll start as soon as my toenails grow back. 245 00:13:35,875 --> 00:13:37,500 See what you've done? 246 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,708 Not only have you hurt Harper's feelings, 247 00:13:39,708 --> 00:13:43,250 but you've sent your brother off on an unrealistic goal. 248 00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,833 Why? His toenails will grow back. 249 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:52,125 But, I... I do feel bad about Harper. 250 00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:55,000 Well, I don't know how you're going to make her feel better. 251 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,625 I mean it's not like she can do all those competitions over again. 252 00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:00,166 Oh, shoot. 253 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,125 What's wrong? 254 00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:06,250 I think I accidentally gave her an idea. 255 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,625 Yes, you did! 256 00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:16,166 OK. 257 00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:20,416 And... open your eyes! 258 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:25,083 It's bad enough you've ruined all my victories with magic, 259 00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:27,583 and now you've made a banner to remind me of it? 260 00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:30,708 No, no, no, no, we're gonna recreate those competitions, 261 00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:33,458 starting with your fifth grade spelling bee. 262 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,333 And I won't use magic this time, so you can win fair and square. 263 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:40,166 How do I know you're not using magic to make me agree to do this? 264 00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:46,083 Would it make you feel better if I let you hold my wand? 265 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,583 Yes, it would. 266 00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:52,875 No, no, take it back. That thing gives me the creeps. 267 00:14:52,875 --> 00:14:55,000 Don't be afraid, Finkle. 268 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:59,333 Your first word might be "bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk"! 269 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,458 Are you calling the 18th Street spelling bee champ a chicken? 270 00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:06,083 If the egg fits, lay it. 271 00:15:07,291 --> 00:15:09,333 Let's go, Carol! 272 00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:15,250 OK. Are you ready for your word, Max? 273 00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,750 Max. 274 00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:22,625 M-A-C-K-S. 275 00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:24,750 Max. 276 00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,583 That... that isn't your word. 277 00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:28,708 That's your name. 278 00:15:28,708 --> 00:15:30,458 And you misspelled it. 279 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,708 I should've asked for a definition. 280 00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:44,000 OK, Carol, your word is... 281 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:48,166 ...hippopotomonstroses- quipedaliophobia. 282 00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:53,875 Could you use it in a sentence? 283 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,583 Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio- phobia is an annoying word, 284 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,250 and I'm not gonna say it again. 285 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,083 That's the sentence. 286 00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:17,333 Hippopotomonstroses- quipedaliophobia. 287 00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:31,083 H-I-P-P-O-P-O-T-O-M-O-N-S-T-R-O- S-E-S-Q-U-I-P-E-D-A-L-I-O- P-H-O-B-I-A. 288 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,625 Hippopotomonstroses- quipedaliophobia. 289 00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:38,958 Correct. 290 00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:43,000 OK, Harper, your word is... 291 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,958 - ..."sergeant." - Easy one. 292 00:16:45,958 --> 00:16:47,250 Sergeant. 293 00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:53,083 S-E-R-G-A-E-N-T. 294 00:16:54,416 --> 00:16:56,500 Harper, that's not right. 295 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,583 - [audience groans] - I'm sorry, you're out of the competition. 296 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:02,750 [squeals, hooting] 297 00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,458 Oh, cork it, Carol. 298 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,875 Way to make me feel better, Alex. 299 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:11,208 No, no, no. It's not just one and done. 300 00:17:11,208 --> 00:17:13,125 We've got more. Come on. 301 00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:19,000 2225, 2226, 2227, 2... Why did you stop? 302 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,708 Well, I could've gone longer, but it looked like your dad was going to pass out. 303 00:17:23,833 --> 00:17:25,958 No, I'm fine. 304 00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:28,083 What? 305 00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:30,208 Is the room spinning? 306 00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:35,750 How do you do this? I think I need a watch. 307 00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:40,708 Oh! Jump rope. Justin, get in there. 308 00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:43,333 This is perfect cardio for the marathon. 309 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:46,708 Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around. 310 00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:50,333 Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground. 311 00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,625 - Teddy bear... - Zeke! 312 00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:54,250 - Do it in your head. - Oh. 313 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:56,166 Sorry. All right. 314 00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:58,166 And here we go and... 315 00:17:58,166 --> 00:17:59,458 - Now. - Zeke. 316 00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,583 OK, we're gonna go again. Coming up right now. 317 00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:03,708 Here we go! OK. 318 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,625 And going again, right now. Go! 319 00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:08,000 All right, go again, right now. Quick, go! Go quick! Now! 320 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,583 Zeke! OK... 321 00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:11,833 You're messing up my timing. 322 00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:14,250 - Hurry up. My arms are getting dizzy. - Dizzy...? 323 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,625 There, you missed. Get out. 324 00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:18,750 Whoo-hoo! 325 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,750 All right, Harper, show her how it's done. 326 00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:25,333 Daddy! 327 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:26,875 Huh? Is it Christmas? 328 00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:36,625 - All right. - All right, I just gotta beat 2227. 329 00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:39,416 People, grab a chair. This is gonna take a while. 330 00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:42,833 One. One... 331 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:48,083 And... one. 332 00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:52,000 - Oops. - Oh, thank you. 333 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,625 I'm sorry, Harper. 334 00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:59,208 Thanks for coming out. 335 00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:02,208 My pleasure. Although I wish you would've let her go first. 336 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,333 It would've saved me about three hours of jumping rope. 337 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:11,500 Oh, just take your victory and leave, Connie! 338 00:19:14,416 --> 00:19:16,458 Oh... well, this... 339 00:19:16,458 --> 00:19:18,250 This is just like real life. 340 00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:20,083 You can't win all of them, right? 341 00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:22,875 But there's no way that you're gonna lose the next one. 342 00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:23,958 [sighs] 343 00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:28,291 [grunts] I wasn't ready. 344 00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:29,875 Get up! We're not done here. 345 00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:32,375 - But she's done. - Hey! 346 00:19:32,375 --> 00:19:35,625 In my day, the fight wasn't over until you saw bone! 347 00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:37,500 Give me my black belt. 348 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:38,708 Make me. 349 00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:40,000 - Hey...! - Just kidding. 350 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,750 You already made me. 351 00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:45,083 Daddy, why did you give me this idea? It's horrible. 352 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,583 That's not all that's horrible. 353 00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:48,708 I'm pretty sure the old lady ripped one. 354 00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,583 All right. It was me. 355 00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:56,375 It happens when I exert. 356 00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:01,750 I'd help her up, but then you'd get another one. 357 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,208 [groans] 358 00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:11,958 Hey, Harper. 359 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:13,583 I made you a smoothie to cheer you up. 360 00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:18,708 - You all right? - I'm OK. I mean, it probably have felt good 361 00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:21,000 to win at least one of the rematches. 362 00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:24,125 I'm so sorry, Harper. 363 00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,000 Your friendship means the world to me. 364 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,291 And I only used magic because I wanted you to feel good. 365 00:20:29,291 --> 00:20:33,000 I mean, I wouldn't have set up all these rematches 366 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,625 if I knew you were going to lose all of them. 367 00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:40,250 It's OK. I mean, you don't have to apologize, I learned something important. 368 00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:43,500 It's better to lose and know you lost on your own than to cheat and win. 369 00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:48,708 I also learned how to say "hippopotomonstrosesquipedalio- phobia." 370 00:20:48,708 --> 00:20:50,375 I learned one thing. 371 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:56,625 When did you become the most amazing person in my life? 372 00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,583 The first day we met in kindergarten, 373 00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:01,208 when we had to take naps in different rooms because we snored. 374 00:21:01,208 --> 00:21:02,875 [both snoring] 375 00:21:06,291 --> 00:21:08,291 OK, so you're not gonna use any more magic on me? 376 00:21:08,291 --> 00:21:09,708 - No. - Even if I ask for it? 377 00:21:09,708 --> 00:21:14,333 Yep. But... but, OK, what if we're like really old, 378 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:19,083 like 30, and... and then our hair starts turning gray, 379 00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:21,958 and our skin looks like Dad's old wallet, 380 00:21:21,958 --> 00:21:23,708 and our butts are dragging... 381 00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:25,125 OK, OK, OK! 382 00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:30,083 - We can use magic to fix that. But nothing else. - OK. 383 00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:33,458 [sighs] It feels nice to have all my victories and losses in life be magic-free. 384 00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:37,333 Well... 385 00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:40,125 [both] Well, what? 386 00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:42,458 Remember when we were kids at Coney Island, 387 00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:44,500 and we raced each other to the hot dog stand? 388 00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,708 So, wait, you used magic to beat me? 389 00:21:46,708 --> 00:21:49,708 - Well, then, why don't we just do a rematch of that? - Seriously? 390 00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:52,000 We can just race to the bus stop around the corner. 391 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,458 - All right, Mr. Russo, you call "go." - OK, you ready, girls? 392 00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:58,875 Ready? Set. No magic! 393 00:21:58,875 --> 00:22:00,000 - [grunts] - Daddy! 394 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,833 I just really wanted to tell you, 395 00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:05,583 honey, a minute ago I was proud of Harper, but now I'm proud of you, too. 396 00:22:05,583 --> 00:22:07,250 OK, thank you. 397 00:22:07,250 --> 00:22:08,875 And I really just wanted to make sure 398 00:22:08,875 --> 00:22:10,958 that you didn't win the race. 399 00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:13,333 So, go ahead. 400 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,250 Oh! 401 00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:18,125 I'm sorry. 402 00:22:18,125 --> 00:22:22,583 I just really wanted to make sure that I could be proud of you. 403 00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:24,708 OK, go. 404 00:22:24,708 --> 00:22:26,458 [Alex] Wait up, Harper.