1
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:06,674
Ah, this is quite
the unexpected treat.

2
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:08,175
The best part
is you're doing this

3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,093
solely out of the goodness
of your own heart

4
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,387
with no expectations
of what's to follow.

5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,014
Oh, you couldn't
be more wrong.

6
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,433
(CHUCKLES)

7
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,310
I'm, uh
I'm angling for sex.

8
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,562
(CHUCKLES)

9
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,021
Well, you could get me
another glass of wine.

10
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:24,023
I could
see this happening.

11
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,485
I should go uncork
another bottle
of the yes juice.

12
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,821
(LAUGHS)

13
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,155
And I will be
waiting right here.

14
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,742
Seriously, couch sex?

15
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,953
Mmm, if your quads
are up for it.

16
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,371
You kidding?
This is what we train for.

17
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,001
(KNOCK AT DOOR)

18
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,839
(CLEARS THROAT)

19
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:47,923
Audrey,
I need to
talk to you.

20
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:49,216
Oh, Liz, no, no.

21
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,425
It's actually
not a great time...

22
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,428
Get this party started.
(DOOR CLOSES)

23
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,429
Oh, my God.
What the hell?

24
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:57,850
There's been a death
in my family.

25
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,019
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.

26
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,186
Who was it?

27
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,355
My cat Corny.

28
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:06,650
Cat? Don't you have,
like, eight of 'em?

29
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,863
Well, I do now.

30
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,614
That's a real bummer.
Why don't you
head on out

31
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,157
and Audrey
will be able to comfort you
in about five minutes.

32
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:17,995
Ten minutes.

33
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,584
I miss my puss puss.

34
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:25,961
So do I.
Don't.

35
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,799
I mean, I suppose
I should've
seen it coming.

36
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,426
Forty eight hours
is a much longer nap

37
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:33,802
than Corny
usually took, but...

38
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,555
Poor Corny.

39
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:39,892
Is there a dead cat
in that bag?

40
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:44,688
Jeff, come on,
she's not insane.

41
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:45,731
I thought you'd want
to say goodbye.
Oh.

42
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,192
I would.
Goodbye, Liz.

43
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,655
Jeff, your playful
badinage

44
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:56,241
is really a life raft
of levity
in my ocean of despair.

45
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,871
But I've come
to a conclusion.

46
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,623
I'm gonna replace
the life I lost
with a new life.

47
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,751
You're gonna get
another cat?

48
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,753
No. I'm gonna
have a baby.

49
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,967
A human baby?

50
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,099
♪ How many ways
to say I love you?

51
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:25,437
♪ How many ways
to say that I'm not scared?

52
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:32,319
♪ With you by my side
There is no denying

53
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,280
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪

54
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,918
Hey, knock, knock.

55
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,711
Who's there?
It's Timmy.

56
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,882
What are you
doing here, dude?

57
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,592
You're not usually
the happy hour
with coworkers type.

58
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,137
Oh, I just thought
I'd pop in
and say hello.

59
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:03,684
Oh, you dirty dog.

60
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,978
You're after
the new girl,
Charlotte.

61
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,604
Guilty as charged,
Mr. Rhodes.

62
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:08,939
Ah, all right.
Well, get out there.

63
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:09,773
Go over there
and work it.

64
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,025
Oh, well...

65
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:11,984
I said work it.

66
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,447
(CLEARS THROAT)

67
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,366
Charlotte, hello.

68
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,284
Oh, hey, Timmy.

69
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,495
You usually
don't do happy hour.

70
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,497
Well, I figured
I was entitled

71
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,665
to one hour
of happiness today.

72
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,083
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

73
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,127
Ah, who ordered
the ham on wry?

74
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:35,049
Spelled wry.
No?

75
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:35,924
All right then,
let me get you
another glass of wine.

76
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,385
Excuse me.

77
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,720
If I could perhaps
place an order for...

78
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,013
Hey, barkeep,
can I get a cold one?

79
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,097
You got it, buddy.
Thanks.

80
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,098
Hey, Charlotte.
Hey.

81
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,224
Hey, are you thirsty?

82
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,768
Make it two.

83
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,021
A cold beer
on a warm day,
so good.

84
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,314
Am I right
or am right?

85
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,900
You know, um,
that beer's actually
a hefeweizen,

86
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,275
which is German for...

87
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,235
Hey, come on,
I got a table over here.

88
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,696
Yeast wheat.

89
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,701
Jeez.
Bombs away, Timmy.

90
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,703
What happened there?

91
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,664
Joe happened.

92
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,875
Seems he's the life
of the party.

93
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,168
Hey, you are every bit
as fun and as cool
JOE: Hey, Adam.

94
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,130
Oh, my God.
Joe's calling me over.
Wish me luck.

95
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:23,388
(TAPPING)

96
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,641
What are you doing?

97
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,602
Adjusting the levels
of lemon and sugar.

98
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,522
I like my iced tea
just right.

99
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,234
Okay, Goldilocks.

100
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:41,949
Well, my trip
to the sperm bank
was a bust.

101
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,829
What was the problem?

102
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,289
Well, they had a book
where you look
at donors' stats,

103
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,126
like height and ethnicity,
but no photos.

104
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,461
I mean, how do I know
what these guys
are really like?

105
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,922
Ah, bunch of guys
rubbing one
out for cab fare,

106
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,632
can't be a dud
in the bunch.

107
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,220
So I got to thinking.

108
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,680
What about one of them
I've already dated?

109
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,849
Maybe one of them
would be willing
to be my baby daddy.

110
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,560
(LAUGHS)
Okay, Liz.

111
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,812
I think I know
where this is headed,

112
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,105
but I'm sorry...

113
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,481
Oh, don't worry.
I'm not asking you.

114
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,110
Because you knew
I was gonna say no?

115
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,444
Doesn't matter.

116
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,488
I'm not asking.

117
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,615
Well, for the record,
I said no first.

118
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,908
To a question
I didn't ask.

119
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,828
Okay.
You were saying?

120
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,288
Anyway...
No.

121
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,082
Go on.

122
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:38,130
Anyway, one of my exes
never called me back.

123
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,215
Another one
had his phone
disconnected.

124
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,050
And another one's
brother answered

125
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,343
and said that my ex
had just died,

126
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,680
which was spooky
because his brother
sounded exactly like him.

127
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,853
Wow.
That's bad... Luck.

128
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,689
So who did you
end up finding?

129
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:56,815
No one.

130
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,358
No one, you say?

131
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,323
No one whose seed
I'd like to plant
in my uterine garden.

132
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,490
Oh, God.

133
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,661
Well, I need to figure out
something and fast.

134
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,039
I'm pushing 40.

135
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,123
Sure you're not
pulling it?

136
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,333
(CHUCKLES)

137
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,336
Jeff, laugh out "l."

138
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,091
Huh.

139
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,343
Different way to go.

140
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,347
Keep your phone
turned on.

141
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,601
What's the matter,
Timmy?

142
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,314
Ah, he's bummed
because he got shined
by some chick at work.

143
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,025
Yes. I'm afraid
woe and me
are one in the same.

144
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,863
Keep talking like that,
you're never
gonna get some.

145
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,743
Jeff, maybe Timmy's goal
is not to "get some."

146
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,703
I'm afraid getting some
is, indeed, my goal.

147
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,540
Well, you know,
part of the problem

148
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:58,126
is you're all,
"Chip, chip, cheerio.

149
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,129
"Ooh, all's well.
(CHUCKLES)

150
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,923
"Your virginity's safe
with me, milady."

151
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,927
He's right,
if you wanna score
heavy with the ladies,

152
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,971
you gotta be an alpha,
you gotta be the big dog.

153
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,973
You know,
a guy guy's wanna be
and women wanna be with.

154
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,853
Are you doing
a cologne ad?

155
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:24,152
So um,
you've seen
this type of guy?

156
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,237
I've got a mirror,
don't I?

157
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,196
Oh.

158
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,992
So uh, what's your secret
to being an alpha?

159
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,827
Well, I'm a man
of few words.

160
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,371
And this works?

161
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,335
Ah, you're doing it
right now.

162
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,629
Well done.

163
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,756
See, the less you say,
the more people like you.

164
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,258
Mmm-hmm.

165
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,884
I like Jeff way better
when he's not talking.

166
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,472
Timmy, you are great.
Just be yourself.
This girl will see that.

167
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,641
That's a great plan

168
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,350
if you wanna die
with your hand
wrapped around

169
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,059
your business.

170
00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,604
I don't.

171
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,400
I truly don't
want to die

172
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,109
with my hand
wrapped around
my business.

173
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:09,823
Hey.
Hey.

174
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,199
Got a package for 9a.

175
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,952
Really? What is it?

176
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,787
They generally
don't let us
open the boxes and look.

177
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,581
Oh, you're welcome
to stick around

178
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,125
and find out,
if you're curious.

179
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,293
I'm not.

180
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:23,211
Eh.

181
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,765
(GRUNTS)

182
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,351
You think
you're better than me,
huh, box?

183
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,647
(GRUNTS)

184
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,986
Oh, has your mom's
wedding dress
arrived yet?

185
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,654
No, but it should
any day now.

186
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,490
Oh, I can't wait
to see it.

187
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,158
I know.
I'm a little worried
about wearing it,

188
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,701
because it's antique
and really delicate.

189
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:55,869
(GRUNTING)

190
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,918
Ah, that dress
has held up
all these years.

191
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:04,919
I'm sure it'll be fine.

192
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,280
Hi.
Hi.

193
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,240
What are you doing?

194
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,200
Just... Window.

195
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,537
All right.

196
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,787
Hey, did my dress
come yet?

197
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,622
Dress?
Not that I'm aware of.

198
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,583
Ugh. My mom
thought it'd arrive today.

199
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,293
Well, sounds like
your mom's a liar.

200
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,297
A liar?
That's just what
she thought.

201
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,882
Really?
Well, maybe
you guys

202
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,175
need to get
your story straight.

203
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:52,384
Anyway, gotta rip.
Dress ya later.

204
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,512
(DOOR CLOSES)

205
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,683
Hey, Timmy,
what's going on?

206
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:01,935
Ah, hello, Cha...

207
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,687
'Sup?

208
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:07,774
Whatcha eatin'?

209
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,234
This.

210
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,072
We're all going out
for happy hour again,
if you wanna come.

211
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,160
You've been
really quiet today.

212
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,245
Are you okay?

213
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:21,871
Yep.

214
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,209
Hey, Charlotte, Timmy,
what's going on?

215
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,295
Hey, Joe.
Wanna join us for lunch?

216
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,255
Oh, what,
in the stuffy break room?

217
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,132
What do you say
we take lunch outside?

218
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,633
Maybe hit the park,
get a little froyo?

219
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,343
That sounds fun.
All right.

220
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:36,844
I'll go round up
the troops.

221
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,263
Hey, Timmy,
do you like
frozen yogurt?

222
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,061
Okay.
See ya later.

223
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,151
(EXHALES)

224
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,361
One day closer
to the most
embarrassing death ever.

225
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,284
Well, I've lost my faith
in the internet community.

226
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,996
What happened?

227
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,705
Well, I put an ad
on Craigslist

228
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,500
to see if there were
any men who wanted

229
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,042
to put a baby in me,
no questions asked.

230
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,422
Oh, no. No, no.
Oh, yes.

231
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,882
And this time
I remembered
to ask for pictures,

232
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,009
which I got.

233
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,639
Oh, God. Oh.

234
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,890
All I got in my inbox
were a tsunami
of dong pics.

235
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,145
Every response I click
is like a church bell.

236
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,146
Dong.

237
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,315
Dong.

238
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,318
Dong.
Ugh.

239
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,111
Dong.
Okay, all right.

240
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:35,820
That's enough,
come on.
Ugh.

241
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,031
Sorry I'm late.

242
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:40,158
Yeah, you're not,
really.

243
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,242
(CLEARS THROAT)
All right.

244
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,953
So, Liz, listen.

245
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,665
Having a baby
is a very big deal.

246
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,249
I mean, Jeff and I
talked about it a lot.

247
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,959
Well,
I mostly listened.

248
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,921
You talked about
my situation?

249
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,674
Well, yeah.
I mean, look at us.

250
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,426
We are having our baby
in a nontraditional way,

251
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,470
but we didn't
go with a stranger.

252
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,347
We picked Brenda
as our surrogate,

253
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,974
someone who's already
in our life,
someone we know.

254
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,685
So you're saying
I should go with
someone I know?

255
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,936
Exactly, yes.

256
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:09,688
You agree,
right, Jeff?

257
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,231
Yeah, sure.

258
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,444
I think I understand
what you're saying.

259
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,155
Jeff, I would be honored
to have you
put a baby in me.

260
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,324
Ugh.

261
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,039
So I'm following him
to your house
or my house?

262
00:12:58,861 --> 00:12:59,946
(GRUNTS)

263
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:01,531
Come on.

264
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,283
(GRUNTS)

265
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:05,744
Ah!

266
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,039
Drop it in your beer.

267
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,249
Gives it a nice
little kick.

268
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,877
Once again,
I'm at happy hour,

269
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,380
being ignored while Joe
is the life of the party

270
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,048
for telling everyone
to drop a jalapeno
in their beer.

271
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,717
JEFF:  Oh, that's good.

272
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:21,468
Gives it
a nice little kick.

273
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,681
It sounds like
you gotta step up
your big dog move.

274
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,725
'Cause when
push comes to shove,

275
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,017
the alpha throws down
his credit card.

276
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,438
With all due respect,
I've never
seen you do that.

277
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,442
With me,
push never
comes to shove.

278
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:40,819
All right, everyone.

279
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,948
Drinks are on me.

280
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,283
(CHEERING)

281
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:46,618
Timmy!

282
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,496
(ALL CHANTING) Timmy!

283
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,956
Barkeep, tequila shots
for everyone.

284
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,958
Fun idea, Joe.
Joe! Joe! Joe!

285
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,752
(ALL CHANTING) Joe!

286
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,258
What happened?

287
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,344
So it's noticeable?

288
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,554
Yes.

289
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,222
Look, you gotta
help me.

290
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,767
I mean, I guess I know
some costume designers

291
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,185
from my magazine days
who could maybe
do something,

292
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,936
but it ain't
gonna be cheap.

293
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,396
Ii don't care
what it costs.

294
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:18,650
Maybe don't
say that to them.

295
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,406
What, are you buying
a clarinet?

296
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,369
Oh, no.

297
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,793
So, hear you're not
having too much luck

298
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,503
in your quest
for a stud.

299
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:43,466
I am not,
and time's running out.

300
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,051
You know,
I'm pushing 40.

301
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,678
(CHUCKLES)
As am I.

302
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,097
Anyway,
I've pretty much
exhausted

303
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,891
all my options
for a donor.

304
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,434
Oh, have you?

305
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,644
All of them?

306
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:57,856
Oh, you're right,
I haven't.

307
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,357
Mmm-hmm.

308
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,817
What's Timmy's
cell phone number?

309
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:03,944
What?
Timmy?
My Timmy?

310
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,739
What are you talking about?
Are you serious?

311
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:06,906
What are you
trying to say,
little man?

312
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,993
Not that I'd want to,

313
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,037
but why wouldn't you
ask me?

314
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,707
Well, nothing personal,
but I was just

315
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,166
looking for someone
a little more...

316
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,002
Way better than you.

317
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,591
I get that.

318
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,386
And I wanted someone
with good genes.

319
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,346
I come from good stock.

320
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,972
I know.
That's why
I asked your dad.

321
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,352
You know what?
You're lucky
he turned you down.

322
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,480
He wasn't exactly
father of the year.

323
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,940
I don't know
where he got
that coffee mug.

324
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:46,279
Russell,
are you volunteering
to father my child?

325
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,281
No, I'm just
saying that

326
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,908
I have thought

327
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,619
that it might be nice
to maybe have

328
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,746
a little Russell Junior
running around the world.

329
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,249
I am in my
ovulation window.

330
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,168
Yuck.

331
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:03,671
Oh, what the hell?
Let's go do this.

332
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:04,881
All right!

333
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,428
Wait, did you really
ask my dad?

334
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,430
Yeah, and he said
having kids was
the worst thing he ever did.

335
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:20,939
Audrey, thank you.
Thank you, again.

336
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,858
Your friend totally
fixed the dress.

337
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,985
You know,
I had to split it over
a couple credit cards

338
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,570
'cause my cash
is all tied up
in the wedding

339
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,780
and these new hair care
products I'm into, so...

340
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,700
(DOOR RATTLING)

341
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,034
Oh, look,
I gotta go, gotta go.

342
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,579
Hey.

343
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,456
Guess what finally came.

344
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,125
My wedding dress!
Yeah.

345
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,800
Mmm,
that's how you do it.

346
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:55,097
Ah, wow, she did do
a great job.

347
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,142
Who did?

348
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,604
Pfft, your mom
did a great job
of mailing it.

349
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:02,522
I mean, it's, like,
totally here.

350
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,276
Mmm?
Wait a minute.

351
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,904
This is the dress
from her first marriage.

352
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,030
She was supposed to send
the one from her second.
I'll go call her.

353
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,992
Wait a minute. Wait.

354
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,660
So you're not
gonna wear this?

355
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,077
God, no.
It looks so cheap.

356
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,714
Yes, hi.

357
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,798
I'd like to report
several stolen credit cards.

358
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,803
All right, big boy,
you ready to do this?

359
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,054
Oh, yes.

360
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,556
Me too.

361
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,098
Let's make a baby.

362
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,350
(LAUGHS)

363
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:45,773
RUSSELL: Ah.

364
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,906
Well, it doesn't
feel like you're ready.

365
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,201
(SIGHS)

366
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,332
Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Bingham.
What brings you here?

367
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,209
Oh, Jeff just decided
to take me out to dinner.

368
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,878
Mmm,
what's the occasion?

369
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,421
Did you throw down
that credit card?

370
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,714
Yes, but I'm afraid...

371
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,340
We'd like two steaks,
all the trimmings.

372
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,341
Put it on
this guy's tab.

373
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,805
Uh, so how's the whole
alpha guy
situation going?

374
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:18,806
Not well, actually.

375
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,182
If you're not an alpha,

376
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,475
people are gonna
walk all over you.

377
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,394
A bottle of your
finest cabernet.

378
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,186
(WHISPERS)
Same tab.

379
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,399
You know, Timmy,
I was against this
from the start.

380
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,777
Because I don't think
you need to change
at all.

381
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,695
I mean,
if you like this girl,
don't play games.

382
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:33,988
Just be yourself.

383
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,031
Tell her how you feel.

384
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:37,658
Thank you, Miss Bingham.

385
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,368
You're quite right.

386
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,245
Pardon me.

387
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,167
Um, Charlotte,
might I have a word,
please?

388
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,461
Oh, of course, Timmy.

389
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,256
I've done a lot
of thinking recently

390
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,051
about how
one person conveys
their feelings to another.

391
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,052
I've been
thinking about that too.

392
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,263
Really?

393
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,682
Well, um,
I've come to realize

394
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,392
that it's best
to just be direct,

395
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,478
and lay one's feelings
on the line.

396
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,188
You know what?
That makes
a lot of sense.

397
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,565
Oh, I'm so glad
to hear you
say that because...

398
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,776
Joe, I really like you
and was wondering

399
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,319
if maybe you'd like
to go on a date with me.

400
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,988
Yeah,
of course I would.

401
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,114
Did not
see that coming.

402
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:18,866
I did.

403
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,955
And I, uh,
couldn't do it.

404
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,414
(CHUCKLES)

405
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,083
Turns out
the old Russell muscle

406
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,085
can't be used for good,
only evil.

407
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,630
Are you sure
that's it?

408
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,215
Maybe it can't be used
at all anymore.

409
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,927
Oh, yeah.
I was worried
about that too,

410
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:41,347
so uh,
later that night
I ran some diagnostics.

411
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,475
Ugh.

412
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:47,770
Russell.

413
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,563
Elizabeth.

414
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,734
Big news.

415
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:54,652
We're pregnant!

416
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,279
BOTH: What?

417
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,866
No, I thought
Russell couldn't...

418
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:01,951
Oh, I'm not pregnant,
not with this
wet noodle over here.

419
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,038
Then who's pregnant?

420
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,665
Cotton!
She's having kittens.

421
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:08,791
Cotton, wasn't that
the dead one in the bag?

422
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,506
No, Jeff,
that was Corny.

423
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,465
Keep up!

424
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:18,926
No offense.

425
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,977
I can't believe
Timmy actually died
like that.

426
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,648
I can't believe
the mortician

427
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:33,524
couldn't pry his hand
off it.

428
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,361
I can't believe
they opted for
an open casket.

429
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,447
They didn't.
I propped it open.

430
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,615
Hilarious.

431
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:44,785
Oh, Timmy.

432
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:46,913
Oh, Timmy.

433
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,039
(CHUCKLES)
Meow, meow.

434
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,544
Wow, Timmy,
I always thought
you were such a great...

435
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,379
Oh, Charlotte and Joe
are here!

436
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,299
Poor Timmy.
Yeah.

437
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,551
Charlotte,
will you marry me?

438
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,011
Yes!

439
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,512
(ALL CHANTING) Joe!

440
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:05,848
(GASPS)