1
00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:03,253
Hey.
AUDREY: Hey.

2
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,214
Oh, good, you're home.
Listen, I was talking to some--

3
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,758
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I just walked in the door.

4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:13,513
If we're gonna talk, I gotta get
a can of listening juice.

5
00:00:20,978 --> 00:00:22,689
Hey.
Hi.

6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,400
Okay, so I was talking
to the girls at work--

7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,069
Oh, here we go.
What?

8
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,237
No good ever comes from that.
It's never,

9
00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:30,738
"I was talking
to the girls at work,

10
00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:34,909
and they told me that I'm not
servicing you enough."

11
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,206
[LAUGHING]
All right, here's the thing.

12
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,748
A while ago,
Jane and her husband

13
00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:42,375
decided that they
would go find--

14
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,877
Is Jane that one
who looks like Pete Rose?

15
00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:46,713
No. That's Bethany.

16
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,423
And she does not
look like Pete Rose.

17
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:53,220
Well, let's just crack open the
old baseball encyclopedia here.

18
00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:55,513
All right,
maybe a little.

19
00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,432
Here's the thing:
Jane and her husband

20
00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:00,017
went to couples therapy,
and found it helpful.

21
00:01:00,017 --> 00:01:01,519
She loved the therapist
they used.

22
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,771
And I think it's something
we should do.

23
00:01:03,771 --> 00:01:05,857
Why? Our marriage practically
runs itself.

24
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,984
And plus,
you're not chunky like Jane,

25
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,611
so why do we need
a therapist?

26
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:13,281
Wow. Rough day
for the work friends.

27
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,201
I just think
we're both so busy at work,

28
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:19,371
we never have time to talk,
now we're going through

29
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,163
this fertility stuff.

30
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,623
You know how I feel
about therapy.

31
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:24,667
Why deal with stuff when you can
push it down inside

32
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:27,545
and go on with your life?

33
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:28,338
[CHUCKLES]

34
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,589
Well, that's great.

35
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,549
But as a backup plan,
it might be nice

36
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:34,302
to have an hour every week
where we can connect

37
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,012
and focus
on our relationship.

38
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,472
Here's the guy's card.

39
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,556
I don't know.

40
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:43,353
Do we really need to pay a guy
to tell you how lucky you are?

41
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,356
Well, no one's doing it
for free.

42
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,358
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

43
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:52,779
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪

44
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:58,743
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪

45
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,163
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

46
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,955
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪

47
00:02:02,955 --> 00:02:07,377
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪

48
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,301
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

49
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:20,932
[SIGHS]

50
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,309
Hi, hon.

51
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,438
Whoa, nice gel-met.

52
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:28,565
Thanks.

53
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,649
No, I wasn't--

54
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,194
Never mind. How much product
are you using?

55
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:36,614
What Enrique said:
"Little dab, size of a peach."

56
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,160
I'm pretty sure he said,
"Size of a pea."

57
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,744
Oh, well, that's good,

58
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,121
because I've been going through
a tube a day.

59
00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:47,124
You may want to shower before
the photographer's.

60
00:02:47,124 --> 00:02:48,251
Oh, honey,
do we have to do that?

61
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:51,463
It's nice that my mom wants to
put our engagement in the paper.

62
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,882
Why do we need a new picture?
Can't we send the one we have?

63
00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:56,509
I'd rather not.
Why?

64
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,554
It's just that in all
the pictures that we have,

65
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,806
you tend to look...

66
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,308
You know...

67
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,685
Super gay.

68
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,978
What are you talking about?

69
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,356
You know how some people
are photogenic?

70
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,983
You're kind of homogenic.

71
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:12,650
Homogenic?

72
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,777
You tend to look gay
in pictures.

73
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:15,362
What? I do not.

74
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,531
Well, I mean, maybe in that one
from Scotty's bachelor party,

75
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:22,244
but I was just pretending to do
that because he was passed out.

76
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,202
I mean, that's what you do.

77
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:26,248
Look, maybe it's the way
you smile or how you pose,

78
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,833
but I'd rather not have
everyone in my hometown

79
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,836
saying, "Look,
Jen's marrying George Michael."

80
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,838
That's ridiculous.

81
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,507
Is it?
Mm-hm.

82
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,133
Look, here's me.

83
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,635
Oh, and have you met
my friend Adam?

84
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,847
He bakes the best mini-muffins
in all of Sausalito.

85
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,557
And this one.

86
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,393
And...

87
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,270
Oh, my God!

88
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,104
I told you,
he was passed out.

89
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,148
That's what you do.

90
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,818
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

91
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,280
And in a way,
it was amazing

92
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,907
to have had such
a New York experience

93
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,116
my first night here.

94
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,701
Mm.
But we've canceled

95
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,452
all her credit cards

96
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,579
and recovered the purse
in a Dumpster,

97
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,080
so all's well
that ends well.

98
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,082
Yeah, you gotta watch it
in this town.

99
00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:12,084
A lot of dirtbags.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]

100
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:14,712
Hey, dirtbag.
What's going on?

101
00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:18,425
Ah, Mr. Rhodes, hello.
My fiancée, Suneetha, and I

102
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,594
were telling Mr. Dunbar about
her first night in New York.

103
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,430
Well, it's great
to finally meet you.

104
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,098
Likewise.
Anyway, after the brisk chase

105
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,016
through the park,

106
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:27,892
We went back to my place,

107
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,144
where Suneetha
teased me mercilessly

108
00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,688
about how small
my apartment is.

109
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:35,442
And hot. By the way, my Uncle
Jawahar's restaurant called.

110
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,735
They want
their tandoor back.

111
00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:39,236
Ah.
[CHUCKLES]

112
00:04:39,236 --> 00:04:40,405
That's great.

113
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,657
I don't really get it,
but I love it.

114
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,494
If you could spare me I promised
to show her more of the city.

115
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,913
Oh, you know what?
You go right ahead.

116
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,081
You crazy kids have fun.

117
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:53,084
I'm sure I can handle
my own phone today.

118
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,961
It hasn't rung
since last Thursday,

119
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,464
so I'm sure you'll be fine.

120
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,508
In fact, yes,
it is still working.

121
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,553
Shall we?
Goodbye, Mr. Dunbar and Rhodes.

122
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,055
RUSSELL:
Yes, have a nice time.

123
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:09,183
[DOOR CLOSES]
[FAKES CRYING]

124
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,894
What are you doing?
I'm into her.

125
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,145
Suneetha?

126
00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:15,398
Yeah.
I have feelings for her.

127
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,735
What, in your little pants?

128
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:22,739
No, higher.

129
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,032
Oh, in your puppet vest.

130
00:05:25,032 --> 00:05:26,283
Stop it.

131
00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:28,244
From the moment I saw her
get off that plane,

132
00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,331
I can't get her out of my mind.
You can't do anything.

133
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,791
She's engaged to Timmy.
Doi.

134
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,377
[SIGHS]

135
00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:37,379
You know I would never
cross that line.

136
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:41,549
Actually, I don't think that's
a thing people know about you.

137
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:43,551
So, what are you gonna do?

138
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,512
What can I do?
I just have to sit here

139
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:49,056
and wallow in my own misery
knowing the one woman I want,

140
00:05:49,056 --> 00:05:51,225
I can't have.

141
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,728
Oh.

142
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,732
Hey, do I look gay
in these pictures?

143
00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,192
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

144
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:04,489
"Couples therapist."

145
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,949
Well, let's see
what you're all about,

146
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,951
Dr. Amos Greenblatt.

147
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:10,119
[CHUCKLES]

148
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,705
Amos. That's close
to being funny.

149
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,207
GREENBLATT [OVER COMPUTER]:
Hi, I'd like to cover

150
00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:18,670
what I call my four pillars
of a successful marriage.

151
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:22,048
Pillar One: sex, sex, sex.

152
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,009
In any good marriage,
the more physical intimacy,

153
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,471
the better.
Right on, Amos.

154
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,057
Pillar Two:
transition time.

155
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,475
When you get home
from a long day,

156
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,102
you need time to put
your feet up, have a drink.

157
00:06:35,102 --> 00:06:37,396
A spouse should
understand that.

158
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:38,981
You'd think.

159
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,859
Pillar Three:
from zero to hero.

160
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,445
Don't forget
to tell your spouse

161
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,197
how much you admire,
love, and respect them.

162
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,700
It's no Pillar One.

163
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,827
And Pillar Four:
communication.

164
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:54,330
Listening is a crucial part
of any relationship.

165
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:57,124
Swing and a miss.

166
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:03,673
But still, I am sold.

167
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,635
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

168
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,720
You wanna see
the therapist?

169
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,305
What changed your mind?
I realized you were right.

170
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:14,391
The guy's an expert, so
whatever he says, we should do,

171
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:18,771
even if one of us
isn't in the mood.

172
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:22,775
I already ordered. I figured
we'd split a turkey sandwich

173
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:23,776
and a BLT.
Nice play.

174
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:28,322
I know what you like.
We still have to go to therapy.

175
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,658
Sorry, I don't think
it's just my opinion.

176
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:33,035
Well, I've never heard it
from anyone else.

177
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,704
Hey, let's ask Jeff.
All right.

178
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,540
Describe Adam
in these pictures.

179
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,292
Gay.

180
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,713
Gayer.

181
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,507
Gayest.

182
00:07:46,298 --> 00:07:49,010
Correction: gayest.

183
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,264
[SIGHS]

184
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:54,431
Oh, what's wrong?

185
00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:57,477
Growth hormones
not kicking in yet?

186
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,272
No, the doctor says
I'm making good progress.

187
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,400
There's a woman I want
and I can't have her.

188
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,944
Oh, well, just try
a different escort service.

189
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:11,407
I'm sure
she'll be 18 someday.

190
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:14,619
You overinflated her
and she popped?

191
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:16,954
Anything?

192
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,165
Uh, heh...

193
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,751
Nothing.

194
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,254
Poor little heart.

195
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,839
I actually believe him.

196
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,300
You couples don't know
how lucky you have it.

197
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,427
Look at you two,
sharing sandwiches.

198
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,055
It's like you're sharing
your souls.

199
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,558
Hey, this new Russell's
not working for me.

200
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:40,311
You know what the worst part is?
Timmy asked me to look after her

201
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,771
and take her around today.

202
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:42,479
Getting to know her

203
00:08:42,479 --> 00:08:44,023
might solve your problem.
How?

204
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,692
You never like a woman
once you know her.

205
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,736
You're Russell, you don't have
feelings for women.

206
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,154
Yeah, you just, like,
use them.

207
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:53,407
Yeah, you strip them
of their clothes, their dignity

208
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,075
and their self-esteem.

209
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,077
After five minutes
you'll be off her

210
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,787
and back
on the skank train.

211
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,288
ALL:
Yeah.

212
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:02,249
Thanks, guys.
I hope you're right.

213
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,419
All aboard
the skank train.

214
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,714
Whoo-whoo.

215
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,674
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

216
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,971
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

217
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:18,224
So, Audrey, Jeff,
why don't we start

218
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,560
with why you came in to see me.

219
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,561
Well, doctor, I'd say--

220
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,395
If I could just jump in here
for a second.

221
00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:25,522
I think that it would be better
if you talk.

222
00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:28,067
Maybe you could tell us
how we could achieve

223
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,110
a more successful marriage.

224
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:32,154
That's difficult because I don't
know you yet.

225
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,490
Hey, there, Jeff Bingham.

226
00:09:35,282 --> 00:09:38,661
Looking for a more
successful marriage.

227
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,746
What are you doing?

228
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,039
Trying to get the doctor to,
you know,

229
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:42,915
just boil it down for us.

230
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,417
Uh, well, Jeff,
I don't give my opinion

231
00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:47,503
until I've spent
a couple of sessions

232
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,630
finding out some
of your issues.

233
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:52,299
Well, let's fast-forward now.
This is our third session,

234
00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:56,095
and you know our issues.

235
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,054
Go.

236
00:09:57,054 --> 00:10:01,726
Jeff, this isn't the lightning
round of a game show.

237
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:02,852
Uh-- Uh, I'm sorry.

238
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,730
My husband's not
a big fan of therapy.

239
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,065
Or acting like
a regular person.

240
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:12,153
Ooh, hear the sarcasm.
It's clear, isn't it,

241
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,697
that our marriage is on
a shaky foundation.

242
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,866
We're not on a shaky foundation.
See that, doc?

243
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,577
See, I'll say one thing and then
she'll say the opposite.

244
00:10:20,577 --> 00:10:22,705
How can we salvage this,

245
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:26,583
starting tonight?

246
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,503
Oh, hey, Tim. You busy?
Quite so, Mr. Rhodes.

247
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:30,922
Oh, this will be quick.

248
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,716
I need you to take
a picture of me.

249
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,635
Well, so long
as it's work-related

250
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,638
and personally enriching.

251
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,223
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, wait.

252
00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:45,227
[EXHALES]

253
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,152
Oh, here we go.

254
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,699
I'm not quite sure
what's happening here, sir.

255
00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,492
I'm just-- I'm trying
to find a good pose.

256
00:11:00,492 --> 00:11:02,829
It's not going well, sir.

257
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,289
Look, I'm not sure
what to do.

258
00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,249
Jen thinks I look gay
in pictures.

259
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:10,502
You don't in person,
Mr. Rhodes, so I can't imagine--

260
00:11:10,502 --> 00:11:12,421
Oh, yes.
Now I can imagine it.

261
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:15,341
Um, maybe just lean
on the desk.

262
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,259
Okay.
Try to seem natural.

263
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,761
Okay.

264
00:11:19,511 --> 00:11:19,846
Okay.

265
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,390
Now, I'm seeing nothing
that's not entirely hetero.

266
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:24,516
So hold it. And...

267
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:27,228
How the hell
does that happen?

268
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,814
I know. It's weird, right?

269
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,025
Yes. It's like
straight, straight,

270
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,152
straight,
straight, straight--

271
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,739
Hello, Judy.

272
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,616
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

273
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,162
So India.

274
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,497
What's that like?

275
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,666
Well, it's hot, chaotic,

276
00:11:49,666 --> 00:11:51,627
overcrowded, squalid.

277
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,796
But at least you have
great Indian food.

278
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,548
Yes, but we just
call it food.

279
00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:57,299
[CHUCKLES]

280
00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:00,719
That's great.
Good sense of humor too.

281
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:02,513
That doesn't help me.

282
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:07,143
So tell me, Russell,
why have you never married?

283
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:07,894
What?

284
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,980
Well, Timmy tells me
you enjoy the company of women,

285
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,564
but only on a short-term basis.

286
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:14,650
Do you think
I'm a total sleaze?

287
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,485
Absolutely not.

288
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,694
I would never judge you.

289
00:12:17,694 --> 00:12:20,406
Ah, of course
you wouldn't.

290
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,117
I guess
I'm just never meant

291
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,243
to settle down.

292
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,913
Well, as it's been said,

293
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,165
love, like a river,

294
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,624
will cut a new path

295
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:34,253
whenever it meets
an obstacle.

296
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,130
[SIGHS]

297
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:40,009
There are
so many choices.

298
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,678
Hey, would you like to split
two sandwiches

299
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:43,554
and each have half?

300
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:46,182
Oh, forever and ever
I would.

301
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,435
Or soup.
Everything's good here.

302
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,395
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

303
00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:51,938
[LAUGHS]

304
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,606
Mr. Rhodes,
I really must go.

305
00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:55,900
Timmy--
Timmy, please, please.

306
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,070
I need to be able to take
a straight picture. Please.

307
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,487
Maybe you just look
too happy.

308
00:13:00,487 --> 00:13:02,489
Why not try thinking
a sad thought like,

309
00:13:02,489 --> 00:13:05,284
oh, your boyfriend just
broke up with you?

310
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,535
Yeah, ha-ha, very funny.

311
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:09,956
And if I had a boyfriend,
I'd break up with him.

312
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:13,084
I feel we're heading
in the wrong direction, sir.

313
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,962
Come on, look, Timmy,
this is gonna be in a newspaper

314
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,754
that a lot of people
are gonna see,

315
00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:20,632
so--
All right, one last try.

316
00:13:20,632 --> 00:13:21,717
Okay. Thank you.

317
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:23,594
Just stand there.

318
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,763
Um, those arms go here.

319
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,016
Hold.

320
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,684
[GROANS]

321
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,354
Much better.
There you go, sir.

322
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,063
Good night.

323
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,023
And it's like, you know,
on the one hand,

324
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,860
this isn't how I envisioned
having a baby,

325
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,278
[JEFF KICKING TABLE]
but on the other hand,

326
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,240
it's great that medical
technology--

327
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,076
Hey, Tappy.

328
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:50,204
Do you mind?
Sorry.

329
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,914
Doc, you were saying?

330
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,165
AUDREY:
He wasn't saying.

331
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,251
I was saying--
But I can hear you anytime,

332
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,837
so let's--
Let's listen to the expert.

333
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:02,299
Jeff, I've noticed you're very
dismissive of Audrey.

334
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,175
Why do you think that is?

335
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,761
Hey, buddy,
I just called you an expert.

336
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,096
Hook me up.

337
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:07,846
To what?

338
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:10,432
What is it
you're looking for, Jeff?

339
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:11,725
Pillars!

340
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,685
[CLEARS THROAT]

341
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,897
Did-- Did you say something?
No.

342
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,982
[COUGHING]
More sex.

343
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,442
Hold on, are you referring
to my four pillars

344
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:23,570
of a successful marriage?
Oh, there you go!

345
00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:25,239
Jeff, what--
What is happening?

346
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,824
Tell me what is happening,
right now.

347
00:14:27,824 --> 00:14:28,868
JEFF:
Fine, I'll tell you.

348
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,120
I saw this clown on the Internet
banging his gums

349
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,789
about how couples should be
having sex all the time.

350
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:37,043
But we've been here
for 40 minutes, and nothing.

351
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,296
So that's the only reason
you wanted to come here?

352
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,173
No.
You thought he would tell me

353
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,049
to give you more sex?
No,

354
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:47,344
there's also something about you
leaving me alone after work.

355
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,346
Oh, well,
you don't have to worry

356
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:50,597
about me leaving you alone.

357
00:14:50,597 --> 00:14:54,476
I-I-I'm sorry
to have wasted your time.

358
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,647
[SIGHS]

359
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,233
Not cool, Amos.

360
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:05,529
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

361
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:11,743
Are you still mad
about the therapy thing?

362
00:15:11,743 --> 00:15:12,786
Still mad?

363
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,872
It happened 10 minutes ago!

364
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,167
I know I say this a lot,

365
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,502
but I have never been
so humiliated.

366
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,964
Come on, what about that time
I got drunk

367
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,132
and I mooned your boss?

368
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:27,259
Really?
That's your strategy?

369
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,303
Trying to remind me
how low the bar is?

370
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:32,098
I didn't want to go to therapy
in the first place.

371
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,599
We don't have
any problems.

372
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,185
Yeah, well,
maybe you don't, but I do.

373
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,395
Like what?
Like this whole

374
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:40,731
fertility process,
that's what.

375
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:44,026
I mean, how do you think I feel
getting poked and prodded

376
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,611
like I'm some kind
of lab animal?

377
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:49,156
Having all those shots,
having my hormones monitored

378
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:49,823
all the time?

379
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,284
I think they're pretty high
right now.

380
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,870
Just forget it.

381
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,498
I'm sorry
you feel this way,

382
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,500
but it's not that great for me
either.

383
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,669
Oh, please, you barely have
to do anything.

384
00:16:02,669 --> 00:16:03,670
Yes, exactly.

385
00:16:03,670 --> 00:16:04,921
Exactly what?

386
00:16:04,921 --> 00:16:06,632
My only job is to lock myself

387
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,175
in the doctor's bathroom

388
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:11,220
and rough up the suspect.

389
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,304
Big deal.

390
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,181
For you, it's just
a change of venue.

391
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,142
I'm not saying
that it's as tough for me

392
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,394
as it is for you,
but that's not exactly

393
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,354
how I pictured
making a baby.

394
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:22,314
You pictured it?

395
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,691
A lot. You know what wasn't
in the picture?

396
00:16:24,691 --> 00:16:26,068
Uh, me alone,
uh, with a cup

397
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,988
and a stack of seriously old
magazines.

398
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,324
They got one with
Brigitte Nielsen on the cover.

399
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,076
But, uh, you know,
I powered through,

400
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:38,914
because, well, that's what
the great ones do.

401
00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:43,419
So why didn't you ever
say anything?

402
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,462
What am I gonna say?
"Hey, nurse, how about

403
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,632
a little more Megan Fox,
a little less Charlene Tilton?"

404
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,967
No, I mean
about how you feel.

405
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:53,137
I don't want you
to feel excluded.

406
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,097
I don't want you to feel
like a lab animal.

407
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,808
This is my fault, because
my swimmers are slow.

408
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,561
No, no.
I'm not blaming you.

409
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,064
I just want us
to be able to...

410
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,066
Do this:
to communicate.

411
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:08,152
Ironic.
That was the fourth pillar.

412
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:11,780
Who knew that one
could ever matter?

413
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,657
All right, look.

414
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:14,825
How about,
in the future,

415
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:18,954
we huddle up and make sure that
we're on the same page, okay?

416
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:19,871
I'd like that.

417
00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:22,833
Hey, you want to hear
Dr. Bingham's one pillar

418
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,544
for a lust-filled 20 minutes?

419
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,504
[LAUGHS]

420
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,258
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

421
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,053
Hey, what's up?

422
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,179
I just got a text
from Russell.

423
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,599
The whole "losing interest
in Suneetha" thing backfired.

424
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,101
He's more into her than ever.

425
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,061
Really?
Yeah, look.

426
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,979
Seven sad faces.

427
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,731
He is such
a downer lately.

428
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,608
I know. Can this wait
20 minutes?

429
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,776
You know, I can't believe
I'm saying this,

430
00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:52,071
but I wish we could get
the old Russell back.

431
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,115
Well, I'm sure
we can figure some--

432
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,741
[COUGHS]
Twenty minutes!

433
00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,826
Do you really think
that only certain people

434
00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:00,746
can hear what you're saying
when you do that?

435
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,956
[COUGHS]
Yes!

436
00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:07,628
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

437
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:13,049
I'm not at all happy
about this.

438
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:22,768
It's not about you.
It's for Russell.

439
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,311
Now here he comes.

440
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,397
[SIGHS]

441
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:27,773
Hey, you guys.

442
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:28,607
Look.

443
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,066
It's your favorite shirt.

444
00:18:30,066 --> 00:18:31,818
What do you got?
I'm a zebra?

445
00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:33,612
Maybe the Hamburglar?

446
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:36,031
"Robble, robble, robble."

447
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,491
Don't beat yourself up, Jen.

448
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:40,161
There's enough pain
in the world.

449
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:41,828
Hey, hey, over here.

450
00:18:41,828 --> 00:18:45,416
Couple of douches,
that's right.

451
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,501
Yeah, we're matching.
As you should be.

452
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:51,713
It's a fitting manifestation
of your shared love.

453
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:54,508
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Check out these bad boys,

454
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,760
your two
favorite targets, huh?

455
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,388
Looks like a heart
turned upside down,

456
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,890
much like my own.

457
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,559
I'm gonna
hit the restroom.

458
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,728
Do you think heartache
washes off?

459
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:11,692
Wow, he is far gone.

460
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:12,401
Yeah, I know.

461
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:15,571
Why don't you
put those away.

462
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,114
Hey, guys, what's up?

463
00:19:18,114 --> 00:19:18,782
AUDREY:
Hey.

464
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,784
You can take off the hat.
He's not biting.

465
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:24,371
Who's not biting?
What are you talking about?

466
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,456
[SNICKERS]

467
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:29,543
Wait, you wore that hat
voluntarily?

468
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,546
What's wrong with it? I...

469
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,548
Nothing.

470
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,384
Hand me my nine iron,
Bagger Vance.

471
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,010
[LAUGHS]

472
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:43,432
You look like a newsboy
from the Depression.

473
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:47,102
"Extry! Extry!"
You're a tool.

474
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,854
[LAUGHING]

475
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:52,858
You know what? We might do
all right without Russell.

476
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,860
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

477
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,741
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

478
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,869
Adam, look what
my mom sent us.

479
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,456
The future
Mr. and Mrs. Adam Rhodes.

480
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,416
All right.
Hey, we look good.

481
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,543
Mm-hm.
But more importantly,

482
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,045
I look straight.

483
00:20:14,045 --> 00:20:15,631
Yeah, how'd you
pull that off?

484
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,466
I had Jen punch me
in the stomach

485
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,634
before the guy snapped it.

486
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:22,178
The second punch
he really wasn't expecting.

487
00:20:22,178 --> 00:20:24,890
Oh, God, Adam.

488
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,559
Look at the caption.

489
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,604
"Jennifer Morgan to wed...

490
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:33,649
Madam Rhodes"?

491
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:34,941
No!

492
00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:37,986
No. They-- They totally ruined
my hetero picture.

493
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:39,780
At least
it's a small town.

494
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,240
Not that many people
will see it.

495
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:45,201
Oh, no, they've got
an online edition.

496
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:49,039
Well, I got a busy night
ahead of me, so...

497
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,293
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

498
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:58,299
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]