1
00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:04,137
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

2
00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:05,672
Hey.
Hey.

3
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,274
Our mailman is the worst.

4
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,742
We got the electric bill
for that guy upstairs again.

5
00:00:09,742 --> 00:00:12,545
The one who plays his stereo
too loud?
Yeah.

6
00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:13,846
Well,

7
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:17,417
here's one way to turn it off.

8
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:18,718
Look, we also got a reminder.

9
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,320
Your, uh, life-insurance exam
is Monday.

10
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,855
You've been pretty pushy
about the life insurance.

11
00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:25,192
If we're gonna start a family,
it's important.

12
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,993
If I die, are you gonna
get remarried?

13
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:29,262
Yeah, maybe.
All right, do me a favor.

14
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:33,266
Cremate me and throw my ashes
in his face.

15
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,702
You got it.

16
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,169
Mm.

17
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:38,405
Oh, there are three
weight categories:

18
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:42,142
overweight male, average male,
and optimal male,

19
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:46,846
and big surprise,
I am "optimal male."

20
00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:48,081
How do you know?

21
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,382
I got on the scale this morning.

22
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,184
I weigh the same as I did
in college.

23
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:55,255
I should donate my body
to science when I die.

24
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:57,090
If I die.

25
00:00:57,090 --> 00:01:00,327
You do know
that's the happy scale, right?

26
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:05,365
Happy scale. Is that,
uh, another Oprah thing?

27
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:05,765
No.

28
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,900
No, that's the scale
I set 10 pounds lighter.

29
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:11,538
The bitchy, accurate scale's
in the closet.

30
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:13,740
Well, then that means that I'm

31
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,608
just "average male."

32
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:16,343
It's no big deal.

33
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,977
Premiums are only
a few more bucks a month.

34
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:21,448
It's just less cash for me
after you're dead.

35
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:22,582
Uh, that's not the point.

36
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:25,152
I'm not gonna have it on file
that I'm average.

37
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:27,187
Especially when all I have to do
to be optimal

38
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:29,456
is lose 10 pounds
over the weekend.

39
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,023
You can't do that.

40
00:01:31,023 --> 00:01:32,392
I can't?

41
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,661
I just did.

42
00:01:35,027 --> 00:01:35,928
What?Yeah.

43
00:01:35,928 --> 00:01:37,864
I did that all the time
back to make weight

44
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,599
when I-I wrestled
in high school.

45
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:40,367
I barely ate anything,

46
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,302
I'd exercise a ton,
and then after my match,

47
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:43,570
I'd gorge on a huge plate
of hotdogs,

48
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:46,038
and the next week, I'd do
the same thing all over again.

49
00:01:46,038 --> 00:01:48,408
Well, I'm sure the damage
done to your system

50
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:52,612
was well worth those two
bronze medals in your closet.

51
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,115
Only one of those
is for wrestling.

52
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,716
What's the other one for?

53
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:59,119
Hotdog eating.

54
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:02,021
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

55
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:06,092
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪

56
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:12,064
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪

57
00:02:12,064 --> 00:02:14,801
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

58
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,003
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪

59
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,973
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪

60
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,111
Mm, I gotta say I'm with Jen
on this one.

61
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:26,078
It's 10:00 in the morning.

62
00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:27,847
W-- And all I'm saying
is I'm an adult,

63
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,482
and I should be able
to buy myself

64
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,551
an ice-cream treat if I want to.

65
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,553
Adam?
Stacy?

66
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:34,221
Oh, wow.

67
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,756
Oh, Stacy, um, this is
my fiancée Jennifer,

68
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:37,990
and our friend Audrey.
BOTH: Hi.

69
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:40,793
I told you about Stacy.
We went out a couple years ago.

70
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:41,794
Oh, yeah.
You moved to L.A.

71
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:43,596
Yeah, I'm in town
for a job interview.

72
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:46,333
I would love to catch up.
Yeah, me too.

73
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,467
You wanna grab a coffee?

74
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,869
Well, I guess we're not really
doing anything.

75
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,137
So, what do you say?
You want to?

76
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:54,073
Oh. Um, no, you guys go.
Have fun.

77
00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:56,309
But no ice cream.

78
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:58,044
[CHUCKLES]

79
00:02:59,111 --> 00:03:00,280
Wow, you're really okay
with that?

80
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,516
Well, what can I do? If he buys
ice cream, he buys ice cream.

81
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,586
No, I meant with Adam hanging
out with an ex-girlfriend.

82
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,422
A very pretty,
blond ex-girlfriend.

83
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,090
They're just going to get
coffee.

84
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,325
I'm totally cool with it.

85
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,260
Well, good for you.

86
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,928
Now, if Stacy were wearing
a waffle cone,

87
00:03:15,928 --> 00:03:18,097
then I would be concerned.

88
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,300
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

89
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,906
So I gotta lose 10 pounds
by Monday.

90
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:27,374
Ah.

91
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:31,177
Have you thought about
just shaving your hands?

92
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:31,944
It's a good idea.

93
00:03:31,944 --> 00:03:35,382
Then I can give you the hair
so you can have a real beard.

94
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,384
[CHORTLES]
What's all this?

95
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,752
It's information for a benefit
I'm co-hosting tonight.

96
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:43,189
It's an amazing charity that
does a lot of blah, blah, blah--

97
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:45,258
Hot woman I'm trying to nail.

98
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,494
You really work hard for it,
don't you?

99
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:51,197
Ah, it's not work
when you love what you do.

100
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,800
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.

101
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,801
Where's Adam?

102
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,904
Ah, well, we ran into one of his
exes and they took off together.

103
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:01,207
That kid is a special kind
of stupid.

104
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:02,375
[CHUCKLES]

105
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,009
What is all this?

106
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,944
Russell's faking interest
in a charity

107
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:07,414
so he can have sex
with some woman.

108
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,382
First Russell fakes it,

109
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,751
and then she'll be faking it.

110
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,652
Ha-ha.

111
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:15,021
Everybody wins.

112
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,324
The Gentle Embrace Society?

113
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,559
I've heard they have
really great events.

114
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,962
Oh, my God, she wants to go.

115
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,063
[LAUGHS]

116
00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:26,499
Oh, that's adorable.

117
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,600
I'm sorry, I just don't think

118
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,338
you're New York
"society material."

119
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,139
Oh, this should be good.

120
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:33,873
And why is that?

121
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,675
Well, I don't know,
you're from, like,

122
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,911
[WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT]
Nebraska. Heh-heh.

123
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:39,479
So?

124
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,815
So, heh, I think it's held
in a ballroom,

125
00:04:42,815 --> 00:04:44,884
not a grain silo.

126
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,586
Oh.
She's from Lincoln.

127
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:47,820
It's a major city.

128
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,657
Oh, right. Yee-haw!
Lincoln. Yeah, um...

129
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:54,394
Okay, sure. I got it all wrong.
Well, you know, I tell you what,

130
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,195
if they add calf-ropin'
to the program,

131
00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:58,931
I'll give you a call.
Whoopee!

132
00:04:58,931 --> 00:04:59,832
"Shoom!" Over.

133
00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,834
[IMITATES ROPE WHOOSHING]

134
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,135
Time.

135
00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,839
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

136
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:09,976
Hey.
Hey.

137
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:10,810
How was coffee with Stacy?

138
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,480
It was great. We caught up,
talked about old times.

139
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,147
That sounds nice.
Mm. It was.

140
00:05:15,147 --> 00:05:20,019
Mm. Hey, it's cool if she stays
here this weekend, right?

141
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,924
You said yes?

142
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:29,329
Why?

143
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,697
The hotel lost her reservation

144
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,499
and I couldn't find her
another room.

145
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,266
I felt like I couldn't say no.

146
00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:36,503
Oh, sweetie, you're gonna
be married soon.

147
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,238
"No" has to become your friend.

148
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,107
You know,
coffee was one thing,

149
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:43,275
but sleeping on our couch
is just weird.

150
00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:45,378
Yes, it is.
Does he not get that?

151
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:46,779
No. He was raised by hippies,

152
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:49,649
he doesn't understand
boundaries.

153
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,418
He'll talk to any stranger.

154
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,385
Really?
Yeah.

155
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:55,822
Guys hate using the urinal
next to him.

156
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:57,657
Well, tell him how you feel.

157
00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,860
You're right.
I'll talk to him.

158
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,138
I'm sorry to take up your time.

159
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:15,542
You clearly have your own stuff
going on.

160
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:21,047
I-is that outfit meant
to scare off the company, or...?

161
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:24,316
These are my weigh-in clothes.
Nice and light.

162
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:27,053
All right, showtime.

163
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,021
I have lost...

164
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,523
Yeah!

165
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:32,992
Zero pounds.

166
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:33,660
[CHUCKLES]

167
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,763
Honey, nobody cares
if you're an average male.

168
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:41,333
This is not about checking off
some box on an insurance form.

169
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:45,538
This is about me being the best
I can be.

170
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,507
You are not on your way.

171
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:50,910
Well, I gotta step up
the program.

172
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,211
The rest of the weekend,

173
00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:54,481
all cardio, no food.

174
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,049
That is stupid
and unhealthy.

175
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,285
Challenge accepted.

176
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,555
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

177
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:07,894
[LAUGHING]

178
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:08,828
You're so funny, Russell.

179
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:13,399
I'm so happy you got involved
with the Gentle Embrace Society.

180
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:14,434
Oh, listen, I knew I had to

181
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,904
from the moment I saw
your picture on page six

182
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:21,073
and carefully read
the surrounding words.

183
00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:24,376
Well, I'm, uh, just doing
the final guest list.

184
00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:27,313
So I just need the names
of the people at your table.

185
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,315
At my table?

186
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:29,849
[CHUCKLES]

187
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,584
The table you sponsored
to get on the board.

188
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:36,422
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I-I d-- I don't
have that list quite yet.

189
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,290
Um, you know, so many people
are out of town.

190
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:40,660
And it's still ballooning season
in Provence,

191
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,361
heh-heh-heh,
as you know.

192
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:45,665
Wha--? How many people was that
again I needed?

193
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,266
Eight.
Eight.

194
00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,536
Great. Excellent.

195
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,369
Even better. Um...

196
00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:54,641
Now I won't have to snub
the count and countess of, uh,

197
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,645
Chocula.
Excuse me.

198
00:08:00,212 --> 00:08:01,180
Hey.

199
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,582
Hey, honey.

200
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:03,516
Stacy here?
Mm.

201
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:04,784
Yeah, she's in the shower.

202
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:08,120
Oh, good, I was worried
she wouldn't be naked.

203
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,257
Hey, I thought the three of us
could go out and grab a beer.

204
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,291
The three of us?
Yeah.

205
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:15,728
Look, Adam, I was talking
to Audrey today and--

206
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,363
[PHONE RINGS]

207
00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:18,665
Hold on.

208
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,767
Hello.
RUSSELL [ON PHONE]: Hey, Jen,

209
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:21,701
it's Russell.

210
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:22,535
Listen, I have to fill a table

211
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,336
at this stupid benefit
I'm doing tonight.

212
00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:27,439
So I need you and that
Backstreet Boy you're engaged to

213
00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:28,841
to get on down here.

214
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,743
Yeah, okay,
Adam and I will come.

215
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:33,079
The two of us will be there.
Okay, great.

216
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,747
Now I just gotta find
some other losers

217
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:37,283
that have nothing to do
on a Saturday night.

218
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,285
What is the strategy
of insulting us

219
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,753
when we're doing you a favor?

220
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,622
I don't know, but it worked.

221
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:45,157
Uh, Russell needs to fill
a bunch of seats for his benefit

222
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,594
so he invited us to come.
Isn't that great?

223
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:48,528
Yeah, yeah, cool.

224
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,597
Hi, Jen.
Hey.
Hey, Stace,

225
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,799
wanna go to a fancy benefit
tonight?

226
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:55,835
Sure, I'd love to.
All right.

227
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,842
Really?

228
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:03,776
What?

229
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:04,911
Why did you invite Stacy?

230
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:08,314
Well, you said that Russell
needed people to fill the table.

231
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:09,015
Is there a problem?

232
00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,683
I was fine when you went
to coffee,

233
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,719
and less fine with her
being here,

234
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,520
but coming on our date with us
tonight?

235
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,388
Honey, I think
you're overreacting here.

236
00:09:16,388 --> 00:09:17,790
What's wrong with helping out
a friend?

237
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,259
She's not just a friend.
She's your ex-girlfriend.

238
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,261
I can't help it if I'm friends
with my exes.

239
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,997
I mean, I'd be cool
if you were friends with yours.

240
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:27,600
You'd be fine if I invited
one of my exes to the benefit?

241
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,368
Sure, if that's what you wanted
to do.

242
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,671
Adam, sorry,
I think I blew a fuse.

243
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:35,441
Oh, no, you just have to push
the little red reset button.

244
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:36,475
Here, I'll do it.

245
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,578
You're so handy.

246
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,080
[IMITATES STACY]
You're so handy.

247
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,116
He's pushing a button, blondie.

248
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,418
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

249
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,723
So you can't come for sure?

250
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:52,692
It's gonna be fun.

251
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,694
All right.
Thanks, Isabella.

252
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:57,630
And by the way, tomorrow,
you don't have to mop the floor.

253
00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,800
Just do the laundry.
Okay.

254
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,769
Thanks, bye.

255
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,269
[SIGHS]

256
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,739
I can't believe
it's come to this.

257
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:09,008
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]

258
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:09,876
[PHONE RINGS]

259
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,510
Hello?
RUSSELL: Hey, Audrey,

260
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,245
it's Russell.

261
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:14,013
Listen, I was remembering

262
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:16,315
how much you wanted to go
to that great event tonight,

263
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:20,620
so I pulled a few strings
and I got you and Jeff in.

264
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,054
Hey, why the change of heart?

265
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:23,790
I thought you were worried
I wouldn't know how

266
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:27,727
[WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT]
to comport myself at a city-folk
gathering.

267
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:28,594
Ha-ha-ha. No.

268
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:32,331
Listen, I think you might add a
touch of glamour to the whole--

269
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:33,099
[SIGHS]

270
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,600
I can't even sell this.

271
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,771
Listen, I need some warm bodies
to fill-up my table.

272
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:39,939
In or out?

273
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:40,506
Depends.

274
00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:43,009
Say "Lincoln is a major city."

275
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:45,577
Lincoln's a major city.

276
00:10:45,577 --> 00:10:49,615
Say, "It's the Manhattan
of the Midwest."

277
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:52,719
It's the Manhattan
of the Midwest.

278
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,822
Say, "It's the Paris
of the prairie."

279
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,424
Come on, even you
don't believe that.

280
00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:01,427
All right, we'll be there.

281
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:02,528
Hey.

282
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:05,097
How's the hunger strike going?

283
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,268
It's getting weird.

284
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:12,972
I'm this close to craving fruit.

285
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:16,843
Locking myself in the bedroom
Must avoid temptation.

286
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:17,844
Ah, sorry. Russell called,

287
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:21,013
invited us to the benefit dinner
and I really wanna go.

288
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,681
I can't do that.

289
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:25,084
Optimal male could.

290
00:11:26,418 --> 00:11:28,020
Well played.

291
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,389
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

292
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:35,061
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

293
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,168
Wow. Don't tell Russell
I said this,

294
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:44,670
but we are not fancy enough
to be here.

295
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:47,006
Speak for yourself.

296
00:11:49,641 --> 00:11:51,844
[SNIFFS]

297
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:53,679
Thank you.

298
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,717
Uh, Stacy, this is Jeff,
and you remember Audrey.

299
00:11:58,717 --> 00:11:59,685
Hi.
Hi, Stacy.

300
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:00,452
Hi, nice to see you again.

301
00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:03,189
Jen, come here, I want to show
you something.

302
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,924
Okay.

303
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:05,925
What is it?

304
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:08,494
Look, there's your fiancé's
ex-girlfriend

305
00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:09,929
with your fiancé.

306
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:13,766
I know. I tried to tell Adam how
I felt, but he didn't get it.

307
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:15,201
What are you gonna do?

308
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:18,404
Well, Adam said he'd be fine
if I invited one of my exes,

309
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,739
so I called his bluff
and invited one.

310
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,574
[CHUCKLES]

311
00:12:22,574 --> 00:12:25,111
I thought all your relationships
end badly.

312
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,212
How did you get someone to come?

313
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,713
Well, I made a bunch
of phone calls,

314
00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:31,217
and evidently,
I have a lot of nerve.

315
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:32,551
And then I reached Drake.

316
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:35,855
Drake? The incredibly handsome
douche?

317
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:36,989
Mm-hm.

318
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:37,689
Yeah.

319
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:39,558
And I gotta say,
talking to all my exes

320
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:44,396
made me realize how happy I am
I stopped drinking tequila.

321
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,134
Hey, listen,

322
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:51,070
my high-society broad
is on her way over,

323
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,171
so act classy.

324
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:53,906
Jeez.
[CLEARS THROAT]

325
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:54,941
Clarissa, hi.

326
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,243
I'd like you to meet my dear,
dear friends.

327
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:59,846
This is Jeffrey, Audrey,

328
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,447
Jennifer, Adam,

329
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,515
and Z--
Stacy.

330
00:13:03,515 --> 00:13:05,885
Nn. Anastasia.
Heh-heh.

331
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:06,418
Oh.

332
00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:10,289
We all have neighboring slips
at the marina on the vineyard.

333
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,691
Russell,
I have to see you later.

334
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:13,926
Mm, and I you.

335
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:15,361
Excuse me.

336
00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:17,096
[ALL CHORTLING]

337
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,832
She is way out of your league.
No.

338
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,233
Absolutely.
Totally.

339
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:24,837
I haven't even met you
and I agree.

340
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:28,374
Can it, Anastasia.

341
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,142
All right, listen.
All you guys have to do

342
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:33,112
is play along
and don't embarrass me.

343
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,147
Mm. Yeah, it would be a shame
if she found out

344
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,682
you know nothing
about her charity

345
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:40,586
and the only reason you're here
is to get in her pants.

346
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,922
Oh, you wouldn't.

347
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,925
Oh, sure you would.

348
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,593
The entrée this evening:

349
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:49,161
Kobe beef fillet.

350
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,997
ADAM:
Ooh.

351
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:55,334
There's a special place
in hell for you.

352
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,703
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

353
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,610
Jennifer,
there you are.

354
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,078
Hi, Drake.
Thanks for coming.

355
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,513
I was totally psyched
that you called.

356
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:11,617
I always knew you'd come back
to the old Drakester.

357
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:12,684
Mm.

358
00:14:12,684 --> 00:14:13,852
I'm just using you.

359
00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:16,022
That's cool too.

360
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,624
Hey, honey.
Oh, Adam.

361
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:21,793
I want you to meet Drake,
my ex-boyfriend.

362
00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:23,362
Hey.
Hey.

363
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:24,630
Like you said,

364
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:25,564
Russell needed
to fill his table

365
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:29,235
so I thought what better time
to invite my former lover.

366
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:30,669
Okay.

367
00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:32,504
Anyway, I'm gonna go
get a drink.

368
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,840
You boys have fun.

369
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:38,911
So, what are you,
like, 6'2"?

370
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,679
6'4".
Oh.

371
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:42,714
Me too.

372
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:44,951
Oh.

373
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:48,087
I see you came to your senses
and finally ate something.

374
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,155
I didn't eat it.

375
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:50,556
What do you mean?

376
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,325
Check your purse.

377
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,496
Hey, Jen, uh,

378
00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:01,367
what's up with, uh, GQ
and low-IQ over there?

379
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:03,235
That's my ex, Drake.

380
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,704
I thought it'd be good
for Adam to meet him.

381
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:06,205
Oh, yeah?

382
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:07,873
You know, I didn't know Adam
swung that way,

383
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:11,978
but I gotta tell you,
it doesn't really surprise me.

384
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,179
How's it going with Clarissa?

385
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,880
It's all right.
I'm gonna go find her

386
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,283
and suggest that since
I helped her with her cause,

387
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:20,519
it's only fair that she help me
with mine.

388
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:21,153
[CHUCKLES]

389
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:26,558
Oh, my God, what's she doing
talking to Cathy Cornhusker?

390
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,999
How was that bite?

391
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:38,737
The ice cream cold,
and the sauce hot.

392
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:41,707
I guess so.

393
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,843
Don't guess, tell me.

394
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,017
I'm sorry, I should go.

395
00:15:52,884 --> 00:15:54,853
[CHUCKLES]

396
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:56,222
Hey, hi.
Oh.

397
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:59,791
So, what were you and Audrey
talking about?

398
00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:01,527
She told me about her husband.

399
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,395
Oh, they're lovely people.

400
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:06,198
And she talked about her work
at the magazine.

401
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,367
That's a fascinating job.

402
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,136
And I asked her about you.

403
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,837
She's a filthy liar.

404
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:12,638
[LAUGHS]

405
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,807
No, she said some very nice
things about you.

406
00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:16,808
Audrey did?
Yes.

407
00:16:16,808 --> 00:16:19,645
And she told me how passionate
you are about our cause.

408
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,213
Which I am.
In fact,

409
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:23,015
when I told her
I was a little nervous

410
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,016
about giving my speech tonight,

411
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:27,786
she suggested that you get up
and say a few words.

412
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,122
Did she, now?

413
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,692
Oh. Heh, okay.

414
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:34,360
Hey.
Hey.

415
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,996
How's Operation Drake going?
It's underway.

416
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,297
I just hope it doesn't go
too well.

417
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,432
I don't want them to get into
a fight or anything.

418
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:44,270
Yeah, I don't think
that's gonna happen.

419
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:47,006
Unbelievable.
I mean, doesn't he know

420
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,575
he's supposed to be annoyed
and uncomfortable?

421
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,377
I mean, I had sex with that guy.

422
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,145
Mm. It looks like you and Adam

423
00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:56,582
might have that in common
pretty soon.

424
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,618
Uh, t--
What do you want me to say?

425
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,953
Just talk about what
our organization does,

426
00:17:01,953 --> 00:17:04,690
our accomplishments, our goals,
and where we're headed.

427
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:07,893
Okay, I-I could say that,
or I could tell a funny story

428
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,896
about something that happened
to me at camp.

429
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:11,463
[CHUCKLES]

430
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,765
I know you'll do us proud.

431
00:17:13,765 --> 00:17:15,434
Eh...

432
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:16,368
[CLEARS THROAT]

433
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,103
Ladies and gentlemen,

434
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:21,940
right now, I'd like to introduce
you to our newest board member,

435
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,410
Russell Dunbar.

436
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:28,047
Thank you.

437
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,248
Oh, thank you, Clarissa.

438
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:33,052
I first got involved in
the Gentle Embrace Society

439
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:37,623
because I was very concerned
about

440
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:40,526
the...environment.

441
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,396
For children...

442
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,598
and their animals.

443
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:50,602
I actually feel bad
for him.

444
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:54,606
I think I need to tell him
the benefit's for literacy.

445
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,708
[MOUTHS]
Literacy.

446
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,344
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

447
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,978
[MOUTHS]
Oh. Thank you.

448
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:00,746
[CLEARS THROAT]

449
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:04,150
Yes, but all kidding aside,

450
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,917
I'm really here to tell you

451
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:08,454
about our concern
in this society

452
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,556
for a really bad problem
we have,

453
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,491
and that is leprosy.

454
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:14,526
I know, I know.

455
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:18,164
It's disgusting.
Something has to be done.

456
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,598
These gross people--

457
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,966
What?

458
00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,334
What are you doing up here?

459
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:25,504
This is a charity that helps
people who can't read.

460
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,806
Lepers can't read?

461
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,143
My God,
they can't catch a break.

462
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:32,344
Literacy.

463
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:33,812
Oh, literacy.

464
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:37,949
Oh, my God, we are gonna laugh
about this at your place later.

465
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,251
Oh--

466
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:41,387
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

467
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,122
Hey, Adam,
have you seen Jeff?

468
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,656
Oh, yeah,
a few minutes ago.

469
00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:46,792
He asked me some very
uncomfortable questions

470
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,794
about the ice cream
I was eating,

471
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,529
and then he left.

472
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:53,332
Thank you.
Mm-hm.

473
00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:57,236
Hey, kid,
where'd you get that hotdog?

474
00:18:57,236 --> 00:19:00,739
Uh, the Rubenstein bar mitzvah
has a hotdog cart.

475
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,241
Oh, no.

476
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:04,976
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

477
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:07,513
Don't eat that hotdog.

478
00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:08,614
Audrey.

479
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:09,981
I can't believe
I'm saying this,

480
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:11,750
but you've come too far
to give in now.

481
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,185
I thought you said my diet
was stupid.

482
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,288
Well, actually, I'm kind of
in awe of your willpower.

483
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:17,556
Really?
Yeah,

484
00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,558
it's very
"optimal male" of you.

485
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:20,192
Well, thank you.

486
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:23,061
And thanks for stopping me.
I won't eat this.

487
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:23,962
Good.

488
00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:25,197
Just one question.
What?

489
00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:28,767
What do we do
about the seven I already ate?

490
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:31,470
Let's get you out of here.

491
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,039
Hey. There you are.

492
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,441
Hey.

493
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,576
Why aren't you
with your buddy Drake?

494
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:38,210
I thought you two

495
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:40,579
would be snapping towels
at each other by now.

496
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:43,349
Heh. No, actually,
I ditched him at the bar.

497
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,916
Ditched him?
Yeah.

498
00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:47,085
Drake's, uh,
kind of a douche.

499
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:47,553
[SCOFFS]

500
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:50,356
Then why were you palling around
with him?

501
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,158
Well, I was trying to be polite.
I mean, he's your friend.

502
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,927
And I'm sorry,
but I gotta say

503
00:19:55,927 --> 00:19:58,464
that I feel uncomfortable
around him

504
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,032
and having him around you.
It's weird.

505
00:20:01,032 --> 00:20:03,068
I-- I feel kind of...

506
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:04,436
Jealous?

507
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:05,871
Is that what this is?

508
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,074
Are you telling me
you've never been jealous?

509
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:10,842
No, no. Never with any other
girlfriend.

510
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:12,744
But with you, for some reason,
I am.

511
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:15,381
Maybe you're special
or something.

512
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,015
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

513
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:17,716
Hey, should I tell Stacy

514
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,785
she has to find somewhere else
to stay?

515
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:23,088
That might not be a problem.

516
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:26,358
I totally agree
with what you said up there.

517
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:29,595
Leprosy is disgusting.

518
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:30,496
Yes.

519
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:33,164
All I know is
if it wasn't for leprosy,

520
00:20:33,164 --> 00:20:36,034
I would never have met you.

521
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,669
So to leprosy?

522
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,106
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

523
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:45,477
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

524
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,980
[SIGHS]

525
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:50,849
Yeah, I blew it.

526
00:20:52,083 --> 00:20:54,320
Never gonna make weight
by Monday.

527
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,323
Aw. You're still
my optimal male.

528
00:20:57,323 --> 00:21:00,559
I'm gonna go get ready
for bed.
Okay.

529
00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:07,699
[SIGHS]

530
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,809
[SIGHS]

531
00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:24,650
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

532
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:30,956
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]