1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,137
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

2
00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:06,506
Then a female party guest
comes in

3
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,108
to get her coat
off the pile,

4
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:11,744
not knowing that
I'm underneath the pile,

5
00:00:11,744 --> 00:00:13,746
having me own party

6
00:00:13,746 --> 00:00:14,747
with Vanessa.

7
00:00:14,747 --> 00:00:16,049
[CHUCKLES]

8
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,084
And then the guest reaches

9
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:20,220
for, mm, what she thinks
is her umbrella.

10
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:23,090
BOTH:
But it wasn't.

11
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,858
Yeah, you already told me
that one.

12
00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:27,394
Did I do this part?

13
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,330
Yeah, you need
some new moves.

14
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:36,903
Anyway,
you should leave.

15
00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,772
Audrey's gonna be here
any second,

16
00:00:39,772 --> 00:00:41,174
and I'm surprising her

17
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:44,043
with a luxurious getaway
weekend.

18
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:45,978
Wow, this place
looks pretty expensive.

19
00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:47,714
What are you gonna do,
drive by it

20
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,049
on the way to Motel 6?

21
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,219
Check out the last page.

22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,187
[CHUCKLES]
Okay. Here we go.

23
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:54,987
"All for $199,

24
00:00:54,987 --> 00:00:58,925
once you've enjoyed our
time-share sales presentation."

25
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:02,529
Otherwise known as
the Jeff Bingham Special.

26
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:07,267
Yeah, yeah. That's right.
Jeff 1, System nothing.

27
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:07,700
Dude,

28
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,870
those salespeople are, like,
crazy aggressive.

29
00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:11,771
At least the guy that sold me

30
00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:14,841
my timeshare
in Gary, Indiana was.

31
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,709
So you gonna tell Audrey?

32
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,478
Yeah.

33
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,415
Eventually.

34
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:22,949
[SIGHS]

35
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:25,818
How are you not
on wife number two by now?

36
00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:26,919
[KEYS
JINGLE]

37
00:01:26,919 --> 00:01:28,721
[DOOR OPENS]

38
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:30,257
RUSSELL:A-ha-ha.

39
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,224
Mrs. Bingham.

40
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:33,360
Oh, Jeff. How nice.

41
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,563
You bought me
a garden gnome.

42
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,766
I cherish
our moments together.

43
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,267
[CHUCKLES]

44
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,935
[DOOR OPENS]
Hey, baby, you've
been working hard lately...

45
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:45,905
[DOOR CLOSES]
and...don't think
I haven't noticed.

46
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:49,942
God, ever since Trish left,
you know, I've had such a full--

47
00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:53,746
Hang on. I'm doing
something here.

48
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:54,814
Check this out.

49
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:55,948
You, me,

50
00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:57,450
this weekend.

51
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,251
Booya!

52
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,353
Jeff with the total
power move.

53
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,989
Wow, this place looks nice.

54
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:03,923
Fine dining.

55
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,091
You're welcome.

56
00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:05,858
Full spa.

57
00:02:05,858 --> 00:02:07,327
My way of thanking you.

58
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,395
Pillowtop beds.

59
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,563
For your way of
thanking me.

60
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,965
Why is the last page
ripped out?

61
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:13,900
I must've drooled
on it

62
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,068
when I saw the picture
of the jazz brunch.

63
00:02:16,068 --> 00:02:18,538
All right...just tell me.

64
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:19,206
Tell you what?

65
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,574
I don't want another
vacation surprise.

66
00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:22,642
Like when
that bed-and-breakfast

67
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,645
turned out to be your buddy's
grandmother's house.

68
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,281
He said she wasn't
gonna be there.

69
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,250
Well, she was, Jeff.

70
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,220
She was, and she died.

71
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,455
Sunday night.

72
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:38,458
We still had
two good days.

73
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,929
So, what's the deal
this time, huh?

74
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:43,596
[SIGHS]

75
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,165
JEFF:
All right, look,
all you gotta do

76
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,968
is sit through a little
time-share sales presentation.

77
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:50,870
Oh. Okay.

78
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,138
Really?
Yeah, sure.

79
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:55,208
I mean...we're young,
we're just starting out,

80
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,476
we don't have
any money.

81
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:59,045
Oh, wait. That was
15 years ago.

82
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,680
Why do you always have to--?

83
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:05,318
All right, let's not get into
why I always do what I do.

84
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,387
It's never productive.

85
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:08,255
[CAP OPENS]

86
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,456
All right, look.
How ab this?

87
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:13,025
All the money that we save
goes to spa treatments for you.

88
00:03:13,025 --> 00:03:13,693
Oh, that's a given.

89
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,028
But I still don't wanna deal
with those sales creeps.

90
00:03:16,028 --> 00:03:18,231
You won't have to. You know
how I love doing battle

91
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,199
with those guys.
I'll just stare 'em down.

92
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:22,569
Hm. Like you do when
Girl Scouts come to our door?

93
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:25,405
They got a lot of nerve
charging those prices.

94
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:28,475
Those mints get thinner
every year.

95
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:29,409
Come on.

96
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,445
It'll be a very...
special weekend.

97
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,448
[INHALES]
Okay. I'm in.

98
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:36,349
Beats staying here all weekend

99
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:39,952
watching you dig things out
of your belly button.

100
00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:43,656
Well, it's not like
that's not coming with me.

101
00:03:50,162 --> 00:03:51,364
Yeah, hi, this is
Jeff Bingham.

102
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,533
I'm calling to confirm
the time-share weekend.

103
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,001
MAN [ON PHONE]:
Excellent, Mr. Bingham.

104
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,370
And you should know we're having
a special promotion.

105
00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:01,408
If you bring another couple,
your weekend is free.

106
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,878
Free, you say?

107
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:08,047
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

108
00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:12,619
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪

109
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:17,657
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪

110
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:20,360
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

111
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,762
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪

112
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,866
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪

113
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,438
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

114
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:35,007
And it would mean so much
to us if you guys came along.

115
00:04:35,007 --> 00:04:36,776
Really?
That would be awesome.

116
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:37,444
What a great idea.

117
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,511
AUDREY:
Isn't that sweet?

118
00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:40,079
Jeff came up with it
all on his own.

119
00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:42,181
Hey. Sharing good times
with friends.

120
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,783
That's what it's
all about.

121
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,318
Making memories.

122
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:49,289
Memories,
the building blocks of life.

123
00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:53,660
Well, thank you.
Thanks, man.

124
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:54,527
This place
looks great.

125
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:57,464
I mean, it's got a pool.
It's got a tennis court.

126
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:01,133
Ah. Warm cookies
at turndown.

127
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:03,069
Hmm.

128
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:03,803
So we do the presentation,

129
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,438
and the whole weekend's
only 199 bucks?

130
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:08,140
Yes, that's how much it is
for each couple, so...

131
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,176
we both have to pay that.

132
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,612
Well, it sounds like
a lot of fun,

133
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:15,114
but, unfortunately,
I already have plans.

134
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:16,215
Oh, you're not going.

135
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:19,952
I know, because I have plans.

136
00:05:19,952 --> 00:05:22,389
No, 'cause you're
not invited.

137
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:26,793
Uh, don't beg. I can't go.

138
00:05:27,259 --> 00:05:31,097
What are your plans, she asked,
regretting it immediately.

139
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:33,500
Well, it's
sort of exciting.

140
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,267
I, uh-- I'm being
interviewed

141
00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:37,169
for New York Style
magazine.

142
00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:38,471
They're doing a special feature

143
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:41,941
on "The 40 Hottest Bachelors
Under 40."

144
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,877
[ALL CHUCKLE]

145
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:50,049
Ha-ha. I'm laughing
at both parts of that.

146
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:51,984
I'm 38.

147
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:53,720
At one time, yes.

148
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:56,122
All right, couples win.
I'm tapping out.

149
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,491
I mean, I could see
"The 40 Hottest Bachelors

150
00:05:58,491 --> 00:05:59,626
Under 40 Inches."

151
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,027
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

152
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,497
I just said I'm out.
Late hit.

153
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,767
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

154
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,938
I don't get to
play golf enough.

155
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,240
They should put a course
in Central Park.

156
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,578
Did I tell you the other day
in the park I saw a chicken?

157
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:20,980
Where do you figure
that came from?

158
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:24,016
Audrey, are you listening
to anything I'm saying?

159
00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:26,886
Well now, what's with
all the personal grooming?

160
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:27,487
Should I, uh...

161
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:29,989
push my tee time
back nine minutes?

162
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,024
Calm down, it's not
for you.

163
00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:35,862
Maybe I'll wait to calm down
till you tell me who it's for.

164
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:37,730
It--

165
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,865
It's for Jennifer.

166
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:43,736
Well, this weekend just took
a very interesting turn.

167
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,038
Don't be a pervert.

168
00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:49,609
Sorry. So, what's
the unhot explanation?

169
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:51,678
Okay, I know you're
gonna think this is silly,

170
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,446
but Jen and I are
going to the spa together,

171
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,214
and I wanna put
my best foot forward.

172
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,616
Well, the part
you were working on

173
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,552
was pretty far north
of your foot.

174
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,689
Jen and I have never been naked
in front of each other,

175
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,323
and I just wanna
look good.

176
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,559
You know.
First impressions.

177
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:06,993
All right.

178
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,595
Trust me. You got
nothing to worry about.

179
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,598
You got Jen beat
in the boob department, easy.

180
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,634
Honey, I know
you're trying--

181
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,469
Just say, "Thank you."

182
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,471
Thank you.

183
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:20,707
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

184
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:21,674
Oh, come on.

185
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:23,209
Probably a message

186
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,110
from some dumb client

187
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,579
worried about his stupid money.

188
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,048
Oh, crap, our steaks
are coming.

189
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,116
What?
Yeah.

190
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,118
Our Steak of the Month
gets delivered today.

191
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,353
I set a reminder.
And yet, you forgot

192
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:35,722
my birthday
this year.

193
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:39,158
Your birthday isn't
perishable.

194
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,060
Why do we have to have
steaks shipped to us?

195
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,362
They have perfectly good ones
at the supermarket.

196
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:47,166
That's why you're
in charge of salad.

197
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:48,735
You know, I'm
gonna call Russell

198
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,771
have him drop by,
put the package in the fridge.

199
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,105
No. No, just--

200
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,574
Just have
the doorman do it.

201
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:55,341
I don't trust him.

202
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:58,177
I had a shipment of bacon
go missing recently.

203
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,146
He's my prime suspect.

204
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,349
I don't want Russell
sniffing around our apartment.

205
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,384
Come on, there's gotta be
someone else.

206
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,019
Like who?
I don't know.

207
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:09,421
Dial 212 and
seven random digits.

208
00:08:09,421 --> 00:08:10,723
You will find someone.

209
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,124
All right.

210
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,996
What do you know?
I dialed Russell.

211
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,631
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

212
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:20,466
[GROANS]

213
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:25,705
[CELL PHONE RINGS]

214
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:27,840
[SIGHS, GROANS]

215
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:29,175
[SIGHS]

216
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,443
Russell Dunbar,
38 and loving it.

217
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:33,245
Can I help you?

218
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,849
Oh, hey, man,
what's up?

219
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,052
You have meat
delivered?

220
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,254
Yes. Both fresh and jerkied.

221
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:44,724
Dude, come on, I gotta go meet
this magazine reporter.

222
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,794
Uh, get the key from the super.
It'll take one minute.

223
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:48,728
[RUSSELL SIGHS]

224
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,362
All right. Uh,
I'm meeting her

225
00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:51,531
at a restaurant
kind of by you,

226
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,033
so I guess I could trudge up
and deal with it.

227
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,101
Uh, but just so you know,

228
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,170
I don't want to,
and it's a total hassle.

229
00:08:58,170 --> 00:08:59,471
Okay.

230
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,542
[SIGHS]

231
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,911
I'd do me.

232
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:07,446
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

233
00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:09,982
Oh. Wow. This is
such a nice place.

234
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:12,218
Yeah, I-- I wish
they didn't allow kids.

235
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,556
I mean, that line at
the water slide was crazy long.

236
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:19,025
You know what I just realized?
Huh.

237
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,993
This is our first
couples vacation

238
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:22,294
since we got engaged.

239
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:23,462
Oh, yeah,
you're right.

240
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,965
It's gonna be
so great. Oh, God.

241
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,667
Drinking beers
with Jeff...

242
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,935
hitting the pool
with Jeff.

243
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:32,071
Hey, maybe we'll play
some Skee-Ball.

244
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,508
You do know that you and Jeff
aren't a couple, right?

245
00:09:36,508 --> 00:09:37,710
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I know, honey.

246
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:40,312
But we barely get to
hang out like this, so...

247
00:09:40,312 --> 00:09:42,148
I understand.
You know, I think

248
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,549
'cause you were
an only child,

249
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,451
you look at Jeff
like a big brother.

250
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,520
Oh, d-- Don't
make it gay.

251
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:52,058
All right. You have
your guy fun,

252
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,459
but save some time
for me.

253
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:55,862
Because there are
some things

254
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,129
I want us
to do together.

255
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,931
Oh, I can't wait.

256
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,266
What is it? Sex?

257
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,501
It's sex, isn't it?

258
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,472
Yeah. It's sex.

259
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:10,042
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

260
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:11,443
[KNOCK AT DOOR]

261
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:13,412
Hi.
Hey.

262
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:14,246
ADAM:
Hey, guys.

263
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:15,481
Ready for
the spa?

264
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:18,284
Oh, she's ready
all right.

265
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,122
I don't know
what that meant.

266
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,257
Have fun, ladies.

267
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:27,827
Enjoy the relaxation.

268
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,429
All right.
Now the broads are gone,

269
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:32,298
what should
we do, huh?

270
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,000
Huh? Drinks in the bar?

271
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,067
Cigars in the lounge?

272
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:37,670
Marco Polo in the pool?

273
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:39,038
I'm playing golf.

274
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,273
Oh, I-- I don't
really like golf.

275
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:43,242
Then you shouldn't play.

276
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:46,212
Well, what happened to sharing
good times with friends?

277
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,514
Well, you can play
golf with me.

278
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:49,148
How about tennis?

279
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,051
What are we, 17-year-old
Russian girls?

280
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:55,021
You know, tennis is
manlier than golf.

281
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,456
Oh, please. A golf ball
could kill you.

282
00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:58,691
A tennis ball couldn't.

283
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:01,560
It could if you
choked on it.

284
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:06,098
What are you doing with
a tennis ball in your mouth?

285
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,767
Touché.

286
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,103
Uh, here. I got
a putter for you.

287
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,340
Try not to choke on it.

288
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,809
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

289
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,690
Hey.
Oh, hey.

290
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,391
How was your massage?

291
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:35,394
Oh, it was nice. Except
the guy played a weird CD.

292
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:38,397
It sounded like a whale
mating with Yanni.

293
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:40,632
Oh, yeah. I've
heard that CD.

294
00:11:40,632 --> 00:11:42,334
It's just Yanni.

295
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:45,738
The water is perfect.
Come on in.
Uh.

296
00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:47,273
[SIGHS]

297
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,715
Oh, this is nice.
Yeah.

298
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,455
Oh, you wanna get out
and hit the button?

299
00:12:03,455 --> 00:12:05,424
It's right there behind you.

300
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,964
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

301
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,267
So then the guest grabs

302
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:17,303
what she thought
was an umbrella.

303
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:19,772
But it wasn't.

304
00:12:20,672 --> 00:12:21,640
Or...

305
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,242
but it wasn't.

306
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,011
Which one do you
like better?

307
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,879
The second one.
Second one? Like this?

308
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,047
Yeah.
Yeah, me too. Me too.

309
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,281
Yeah.
Yeah, thanks. All right.

310
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:32,218
See you later, brother.
All right, you too.

311
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,287
[SIGHS]

312
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,924
[GRUNTS]

313
00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:40,192
Stupid.

314
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,531
Ah.

315
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:48,200
[SCOFFS]

316
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,170
Me Jeff. Me eat
big steaks.

317
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,939
Me die young.

318
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:57,009
Ah! God.

319
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:59,311
Oh, come on.

320
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,481
Oh, now I'm gonna
be late.

321
00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:04,783
It serves me right
for breaking my rule:

322
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,519
Never help anybody ever.

323
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:10,456
[SIGHS]

324
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,658
[SIGHS]
Ah.

325
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:16,162
Eh.

326
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,131
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

327
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,903
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

328
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:27,039
So you were naked,
but she wasn't?

329
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:28,875
She looked like
she was dressed

330
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,210
to swim
the English Channel.

331
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,545
Unbelievable. And after
you went through

332
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:35,882
all that cleanup
and maintenance.

333
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:36,582
I know.

334
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:40,686
Oh, look. Just so that
won't be a total waste...

335
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,688
I could enjoy that later.

336
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:45,157
I mean, what? Does she not
feel comfortable with me?

337
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:47,159
I thought we were
better friends than that.

338
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:50,462
Seriously, could I
enjoy that later?

339
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:54,266
[CELL PHONE
RINGING]

340
00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:56,168
[SIGHS]

341
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,870
Russell?

342
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,072
There isn't a problem
with the meat, is there?

343
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:02,474
RUSSELL [ON PHONE]:
No, the steaks are fine.

344
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:05,077
I've got
a different problem.

345
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:10,016
Do you have any clothes
from when you were like...

346
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,650
7?

347
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:12,784
No, why?

348
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:14,987
Well, I gotta meet
this reporter in 10 minutes.

349
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,556
Never mind,
you useless idiot.

350
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:19,425
I'll deal with it.

351
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:25,664
[SIGHS]

352
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,939
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

353
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,007
Yeah, so by
the fifth hole, I lost

354
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,142
all my balls
in the bushes.

355
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,444
Right? So I asked Jeff if
he could give me some more.

356
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,845
He says, "Wouldn't
it be quicker

357
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:42,448
if I tossed a couple
of twenties in the garbage?"

358
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,150
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry.

359
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,119
I-- I don't understand why
you guys didn't play tennis.

360
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:49,821
A tennis ball
can't kill you.

361
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:53,893
Hey, there he is:
Tiger Always-In-The-Woods.

362
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,995
[CHUCKLES]
Hey. Hey,
at least I got to see

363
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:59,365
two squirrels doing it,
squirrel-style.

364
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:02,101
Maybe tomorrow you should
just go to the spa.

365
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,835
It's so relaxing.
Right, Audrey?

366
00:15:03,835 --> 00:15:06,138
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
I did not wanna

367
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:07,773
get out of that
hot tub.

368
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,776
All right, now, remember,
you don't respond to anything

369
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:11,543
that the sales
guy says.

370
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,980
You just let my stare
do the talking.

371
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,014
MAN:
Oh, Mr. Bingham.

372
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:16,115
We spoke
on the phone.

373
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:19,885
I'm so glad to see you took
advantage of our special offer.

374
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:20,786
What offer?

375
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:21,787
It's nothing.

376
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:23,022
Since he brought
another couple,

377
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:26,525
Mr. Bingham's weekend
is completely free.

378
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:30,229
What?
Oh, Jeff.

379
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,763
You didn't.

380
00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:32,364
Guy is confused.

381
00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:33,832
He's wearing
a nametag,

382
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:35,968
for God's sakes.

383
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,537
Wait, is that the only reason
you invited us?

384
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:39,671
To get a free weekend?

385
00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:42,441
And you made us
pay for gas?

386
00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:46,012
All right, look. You know
what might calm everyone down?

387
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,814
A nice, aggressive
sales presentation.

388
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,883
I don't think so.
Come on, Jen.

389
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:54,886
What's up with them?

390
00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:57,489
They thought we invited them
as friends, Jeff.

391
00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:00,892
They didn't realize
they were human coupons.

392
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:04,596
Oh, by the way, thank you
for my "very special" weekend.

393
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,632
Audrey.
MAN:
Oh, Mr. Bingham.

394
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,968
If none of you attend
the sales presentation,

395
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,271
you'll be charged
the full price of both rooms.

396
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:16,608
Great. And how much
is that...

397
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:18,077
Eric?

398
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:22,914
I'm afraid it'll
cost you $1200.

399
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,384
I'm afraid of that too.

400
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:28,854
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

401
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,093
Debra.

402
00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:34,793
Hey. Russell.

403
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:36,395
Your number one bachelor
under 40.

404
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,663
It's nice to
meet you, Russell.

405
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,931
That's an...in--
Interesting outfit.

406
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:43,169
Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah,
it's very cutting edge.

407
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,271
In the next few months,
I think you'll see

408
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,539
a lot of dudes
rocking this look.
Oh.

409
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:50,676
Uh, I-- I don't think
that's a man's suit.

410
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,777
Oh, yes, it is.

411
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:54,880
Problem is you just haven't
seen it on these shores.

412
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,550
It's all the rage in,
like, Milan, Tokyo...

413
00:16:58,550 --> 00:16:59,685
[CLEARS THROAT]

414
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,420
...Par--

415
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:08,027
Ah. I'm 42 anyway.

416
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,197
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

417
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,732
[KNOCK AT DOOR]

418
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,835
Hey.
Hey.

419
00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:19,171
Tennis anyone?

420
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,173
Thought you were
at the presentation.

421
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:22,241
I'm skipping it.Wait,

422
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,775
isn't that gonna cost you
a pile of money?

423
00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:26,712
This isn't about money.
It's about friendship.

424
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,414
Twelve-hundred bucks.

425
00:17:29,881 --> 00:17:31,117
Well, thanks, man.
Forget it.

426
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,252
Now, go put your little
shorts on. Let's go play.

427
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:35,654
Hey, then we'll get
drinks at the bar?

428
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:36,055
Sure.

429
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,856
And smoke cigars
in the lounge?

430
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:38,424
Sounds good.

431
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,726
And do yoga on
the South Patio?

432
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,533
[STRAINED]
That's fine.

433
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:48,100
[CHUCKLES]

434
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,135
I was just messing
with you.

435
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,303
Ah, are we gonna hit
this fuzzy ball around or what?

436
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:54,540
Yeah. Yeah, but, uh, we gotta
make one stop first.

437
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,007
And when you invest
in a time-share,

438
00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:58,077
you're not limited
to one location.

439
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,246
Our one-time membership fee
gives you access

440
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:04,183
to 15 other prime resorts
all over America,

441
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,017
including Hawaii.

442
00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:08,854
That sounds too good
to pass up.

443
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:09,788
Stay strong.

444
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:13,459
MAN:
So instead of continuing to
throw money away on vacations,

445
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,461
you'll be purchasing
an asset

446
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:16,962
that increases
in value.

447
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:18,830
I-I can't afford
not to buy this.

448
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:19,998
Just shut up and stare.

449
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,301
MAN:
Enjoy pride of ownership
that you can pass on

450
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,803
to the next generation,
when you purchase a unit

451
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:25,737
or a phase three
offer.

452
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:28,073
Do you like cleaning up--?
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

453
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:29,975
[KNOCK AT DOOR]

454
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:36,415
Hey, Audrey.
Hey. Listen.
I just wanna make sure you know

455
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:39,651
I had no idea Jeff was getting
a deal for bringing you guys.

456
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:41,187
Oh, I know. Don't
worry about it.

457
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,454
And don't take it
personally.

458
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,924
I mean, Jeff still tries to use
his student ID at the movies.

459
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:46,758
Really?
[DOOR CLOSES]

460
00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:49,461
Yeah. It does not go well.
[CHUCKLES]

461
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,363
Well, we still have
the rest of the weekend.

462
00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:52,898
Hey, you wanna go
check out the pool?

463
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,301
Sure. Yeah.
Let's put our suits on.

464
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,503
Both of us or just you?

465
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:58,470
What?

466
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,905
Sorry, it's just...

467
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,407
you know, before,
at the hot tub,

468
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:02,608
I was naked
and you weren't,

469
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,476
and it just made me feel
a little weird.

470
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:08,046
Oh, my God. Is that why
you put your robe on

471
00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:10,048
while you were
still in the tub?

472
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,683
Yeah. Yeah.

473
00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:13,185
That thing is absorbent.

474
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:15,053
Well, I don't want you
to feel weird.

475
00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:16,288
How can I make
this better?

476
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,424
You-- Don't--
Just forget it.

477
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,358
Seriously. I'll get over it.

478
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,993
Well, what if I take
my clothes off right now?

479
00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:23,094
What? Why?

480
00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:26,064
It'll even things out.
I'm happy to do it.
Oh, Jen,

481
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,065
you don't have to--Please.

482
00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:29,468
I've stripped for a lot
dumber reasons than this.

483
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:31,970
Honey, this is
my problem. It's-- Well--

484
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,405
Wow. There you go.

485
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,040
Heh.

486
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,375
Oh.

487
00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:42,781
Very special weekend
indeed.

488
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,084
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

489
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:49,388
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

490
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,557
Thanks again, you guys,
for inviting us.

491
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:52,658
Oh, we loved
having you.

492
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,760
And thanks for picking up
the tab for our weekend.

493
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,162
It would've been fun
even if it wasn't free.

494
00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:59,865
But it was free.
Totally free.

495
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:04,203
You're gonna help me get out of
this time-share thing, right?

496
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,374
I'll see what I can do,
you rube.

497
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,277
[KNOCK AT DOOR]

498
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,617
Hey, just wanted to,
uh, return this.

499
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:26,191
Oh, why? Did one of
your dates wear this?

500
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:29,194
Uh, yeah, let's--

501
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:30,729
Let's say that.

502
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:35,234
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

503
00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:43,542
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]