1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:04,271
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

2
00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:06,373
Good job, honey.
Dynamite duck.

3
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:07,040
Heh-heh. Thank you.

4
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,909
That would be
a great cartoon character.

5
00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:11,478
Dynamite Duck.

6
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,481
"Quack, quack. Boom!"

7
00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:16,716
Oh, hey, uh, I'm going down
to McDuffy's to watch

8
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:19,752
the big pay-per-view fight
Saturday night. You wanna go?

9
00:00:19,752 --> 00:00:20,520
Absolutely.
All right.

10
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,789
Oh, aren't you
forgetting something?

11
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,524
I'm sure that I am.

12
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,926
I'm sure that
you're gonna tell me.

13
00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:29,096
Saturday's the big wedding
for Susan,

14
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,297
head of my department?

15
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:30,797
Oh, yeah.

16
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:33,300
People I don't know
gettin' married.

17
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,335
How could that slip my mind?

18
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,204
Oh, come on.
It'll be fun.

19
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,906
Getting dressed up,
meeting new people, dancing.

20
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:41,574
There's also the downside.

21
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:44,844
Getting dressed up,
meeting new people, dancing.

22
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:47,547
Our wedding is gonna be
just us, a few friends,

23
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,948
super casual,
on the beach.

24
00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:52,252
No stupid dances.
Oh, wait, what about the--?

25
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,187
No chicken dance.

26
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,523
Whatever.

27
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:57,657
Susan loves Shakespeare,

28
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:00,360
so her fiancé
proposed to her at work,

29
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,528
dressed like Romeo.

30
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:04,531
It was so romantic.

31
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,299
That's romantic?

32
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,835
Prancing around in tights?

33
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:11,771
The guy made an ass
of himself.

34
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,141
You know, women like
when men are willing

35
00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,675
to make asses
of themselves for them.

36
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:20,313
Let's see how his wife likes it
when he comes out of the closet.

37
00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,116
You know what, babe?

38
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:25,485
You don't have to go.

39
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,188
I'd rather go alone than
have to pretend you're foreign

40
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,489
so you don't have to
talk to anyone.

41
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:33,560
That was working till
that damn busboy got chatty.

42
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,228
Since the guys
are going to the fight,

43
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,363
I'll go to
the wedding with you.

44
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,831
A little heads-up. If you
tell 'em you're from Guam,

45
00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:41,934
don't refer to yourself
as "Guamish."

46
00:01:41,934 --> 00:01:46,573
Yeah. He also referred to people
from Greece as "Greasers."

47
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,007
You know what?
Just to be clear, now,

48
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:50,410
if I don't go to the wedding,
you won't be mad?

49
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,380
No. Mm. Maybe a little
disappointed, but--

50
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:58,318
Well, you're always a little
disappointed in me.

51
00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,419
So count me in.

52
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:00,187
All right.

53
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,321
JEFF:
This is gonna be great.

54
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:04,090
It's gonna be
an Old School Jeff night.

55
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:07,059
Hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh.
Oh, Old School Jeff.

56
00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:08,761
Glad I won't be there.

57
00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:10,297
Ew.

58
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:12,399
I got your plate, honey.

59
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:14,000
Thank you.

60
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:16,469
Hey.

61
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,706
Uh, why are you glad
you won't be there?

62
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:20,507
Oh, you'll find out.

63
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:24,244
Hm-hm. You're not on probation
for anything, are you?

64
00:02:25,878 --> 00:02:26,913
Probation?

65
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,381
Uh, we're just having beers.

66
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,049
Ha-ha, yeah.
Well, with Jeff,

67
00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:32,018
there's "having beers,"
and there's

68
00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:33,320
[DEEP VOICE]
drinkin'.

69
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,788
He said it's gonna be
an "Old School Jeff" night,

70
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:38,558
and that, my friend,
means drinking.

71
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,227
Heh. Well, I can handle that.

72
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:43,530
I mean, I'm used to breaking up
fights when Jen drinks.

73
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,164
[LAUGHS]

74
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,334
She gets crazy,
which I find very hot.

75
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,803
Ah, then you're gonna be
super attracted to Jeff.

76
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:54,374
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

77
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:58,211
♪♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪♪

78
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:04,351
♪♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪♪

79
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,019
♪♪ With you by my side ♪♪

80
00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:09,356
♪♪ There is no denyin' ♪♪

81
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:13,693
♪♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪♪

82
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,530
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

83
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,267
Yeah, so Audrey says when
he switches from beer to Scotch,

84
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:23,002
that's the signal
he's going old school.

85
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:24,604
You mean old school like,

86
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:28,007
back when people
used the term old school?

87
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:28,908
Yeah, exactly.

88
00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:32,679
Back when they wore necklaces
like the one you've got on.

89
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,146
I wear this ironically.

90
00:03:34,146 --> 00:03:37,850
Oh, it's pronounced
"moronically."

91
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,452
Anyway, once Jeff gets
a little Scotch in him

92
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:42,154
he'll want you to start to
dare him to do stupid things,

93
00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:44,324
you know?
Like, "How much will you give me

94
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:45,592
to steal that cop's horse?"

95
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,728
Ha-ha. As much as
the ATM will give me.

96
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,364
But the real danger is when
he starts to get physical.

97
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:54,601
Like, uh, fighting,
wrestling, hugging.

98
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,269
That Jeff sounds
a lot more fun

99
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:57,970
than what we got stuck with.

100
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:00,307
Usually, it ends with
him doing something stupid,

101
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,276
which lands him and whoever
he's with in a holding cell.

102
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:05,545
Well, I'd love to be there
to watch all this,

103
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,747
but unfortunately,
I have a date.

104
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,616
Unfortunately for her.

105
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:12,919
If everything
goes as planned, yes.

106
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,587
Well, you're not gonna be
missing anything.

107
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,324
I'm gonna make sure
that Jeff doesn't drink so much

108
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,225
that he winds up in jail.
Why not?

109
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:20,693
I don't wanna
end up there with him.

110
00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:23,229
I mean, look at me.
Inmates would be lining up

111
00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:24,163
to get a piece of this.

112
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:27,166
Uh, not with that attitude,
they wouldn't.

113
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:30,370
Nobody likes
a stuck-up prison bitch.

114
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,540
They don't.

115
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,908
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

116
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:44,016
Boy, this is the exact opposite
of what Adam and I want.

117
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:47,520
It's so garish
and over the top and--

118
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,590
So much more magical
than I ever imagined.

119
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:51,023
[LAUGHS]

120
00:04:51,023 --> 00:04:53,593
Hey, a simple wedding
could be magical too.

121
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:54,927
You're right.

122
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:55,895
Oh.

123
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:59,031
Just a few friends,
on the beach.

124
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:03,403
Oh, a Cupid ice sculpture with

125
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,573
vodka flowing out of the arrow.
Heh-heh-heh.

126
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,941
I'm gonna send Adam a picture,
see what he thinks.

127
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:12,011
See, you're admiring
the ice sculpture.

128
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:15,715
Jeff would be lying under it
with his mouth open.

129
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,216
[PIANO PLAYING]
Mm.

130
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:18,785
There's the bride.

131
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:20,487
[CROWD APPLAUDING]

132
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,523
What a beautiful dress.

133
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:29,295
Yikes, back fat.

134
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,531
No wonder
her dad gave her away.

135
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,800
[BOTH LAUGH]

136
00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:39,271
Did you record
what I just said?

137
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:42,642
And who are you?

138
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,745
I'm Back Fat's nephew.

139
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:51,050
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

140
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,454
Hey, this is great.
The girls go to the wedding,

141
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:57,590
we come here,
everybody wins.

142
00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,427
Heh. Yeah. You know, the groom
should be the only guy

143
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:01,961
who has to go to a wedding.

144
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,664
Now, let's do some
serious drinking.Yeah,

145
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:08,435
some seriously
responsible drinking. Huh?

146
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,069
Anyway, I can't wait
for the fight.

147
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,505
Nothing more manly
than a good slugfest.

148
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:16,843
["AFTERNOON DELIGHT"
PLAYING ON PHONE]

149
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:20,212
There's nothing less manly
than that.

150
00:06:20,212 --> 00:06:21,581
Text message from Jen.

151
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,616
She downloaded these ringtones
for my phone.

152
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:27,820
Maybe she can download some
'nads to your pants.

153
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:30,890
Oh, uh, "Think we should have

154
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,224
this ice sculpture
at our wedding?"

155
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:34,260
What? I can't believe
she'd even ask.

156
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:38,030
I can't believe nobody's
sucking on that arrow.

157
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,398
I don't want a fancy wedding.

158
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:40,132
We agreed on the beach.

159
00:06:40,132 --> 00:06:43,470
You're engaged,
replace "we agreed"

160
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,805
with "she decided."

161
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,175
You're welcome.

162
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,343
Okay, she goes to
one fancy reception

163
00:06:51,343 --> 00:06:53,780
and now she's rethinking
our wedding?

164
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,882
Her wedding.

165
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:58,518
You'll catch on.

166
00:06:58,518 --> 00:06:59,486
[BELL RINGS ON TV]

167
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,988
Fight's starting.
This is gonna be great.

168
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,990
MAN [ON TV]:
Fight scheduled for 12 rounds.

169
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,993
Fighters meet in-- Nice jab!
[CROWD GROANS]

170
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:07,527
And a hard right!

171
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,161
He's down.
He's down for the count.

172
00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:11,230
I don't think
he's gonna get up.

173
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:12,231
It's over!
Get up!

174
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:14,133
Get up, you bum!
The fight is over.

175
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:18,571
They haven't even put out
the free Buffalo wings yet.

176
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:19,839
Well, that sucked.

177
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:20,973
All right. Fight night.

178
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:23,810
Here you go, Ginger.
Hey, I still have your panties.

179
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,344
They're in my fridge.

180
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:26,012
Hey.

181
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,581
Big beer for a big guy.

182
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,082
Oh, Russki.

183
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:31,584
Ha-ha-ha. All right.

184
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:32,719
So when's the fight?

185
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:33,953
Well, in about
five minutes

186
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,923
if somebody doesn't put
the Buffalo wings out.

187
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:37,957
What happened to
your date?

188
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,960
Ah, I told her
I was getting the car.

189
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,394
You don't have a car.

190
00:07:42,394 --> 00:07:43,830
Ah, what are you gonna do?

191
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,798
Yeah, maybe we should
call it a night.

192
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,934
Ah. whoa, whoa.
That's loser talk.

193
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,637
You're out tonight
sans ball and chain.

194
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,138
Why don't you live a little?

195
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:52,739
Here's a straw.

196
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,842
You know, you get drunker
drinking through a straw.

197
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:58,410
I did not know that.

198
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,480
I can't believe
you wanna get him drunk

199
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,814
just so he does something crazy.

200
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:02,982
I can't believe you don't.

201
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,884
Plus, I remembered they have
a pool table here,

202
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:07,720
so I can hustle me some money
whilst he's drinking.

203
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,655
Last time you hustled a guy,

204
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,723
he punched you
with your own fist.

205
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,724
Oh, yeah.

206
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,860
I really kicked my ass
that night.

207
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,028
But hey, when it comes time
to collect my winnings,

208
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:19,599
I'll have drunk,
ready-to-fight Jeff by my side.

209
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,467
[SLURPING]

210
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:27,006
Audrey hates it
when I slurp pitchers of beer.

211
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,575
I remember that
from our wedding.

212
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,410
Hey, come on.
Less thinkin', more drinkin'.

213
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,612
Let's go.

214
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:33,045
Yeah.

215
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,214
Less beer, more
"let's get out of here."

216
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,949
Let's go!
You know what?

217
00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:40,019
Adam's right,
I've had enough beer.

218
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,187
Ah, good call.Ah.

219
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,522
Time to move on to Scotch.

220
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,592
Oh, ho! Old School Jeff.
All right.

221
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:47,093
Yeah!
Barkeep,

222
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,795
pitcher of Scotch.

223
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:55,067
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

224
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,004
Listen. Little boy,
what I said wasn't nice.

225
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:01,608
And you don't want anyone to see
that, especially not the bride.

226
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:02,474
Yeah, it's her special day.

227
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:04,343
She doesn't wanna
hear about her back fat.

228
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:06,779
Would you stop saying
"back fat," please.

229
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:09,716
Yeah, you don't have to
say it anymore.

230
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,818
I got it on tape.

231
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:13,920
Hey!

232
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,254
This mean lady's

233
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:17,557
trying to steal my camera!

234
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:19,425
No-- No.

235
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:20,693
No, no, he dropped it.

236
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,229
I w-was just
picking it up for him.

237
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,163
[CHUCKLES]

238
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:28,267
Look at that face.
Adorable little scamp.

239
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:34,540
Listen, you little brat,
the bride is my boss,

240
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,509
so I need you
to erase that tape.

241
00:09:37,509 --> 00:09:39,511
Now, what's it gonna take?

242
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,514
Show me your boobs.

243
00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:43,883
Excuse me?

244
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:47,486
Show me your boobs,
and I'll erase the tape.

245
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:49,121
Absolutely not.

246
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,757
One of 'em?

247
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,524
Listen, you pervy
little twerp.

248
00:09:52,524 --> 00:09:53,593
I ought to go tell your mom--

249
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,664
You mean,
Back Fat's sister?

250
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:01,067
How would you like a video
of a woman pummeling a mouthy--?

251
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,870
Audrey, settle down.

252
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,304
I got this.

253
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,405
Okay, look, at your age,

254
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:09,075
it's natural to be curious
and want to see our boobs.

255
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:12,178
Not yours.
You're kind of flat.

256
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,012
[SCOFFS]

257
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,649
What?
I am not flat, four eyes.

258
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,318
I just call 'em
like I see 'em.

259
00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:21,153
And I can barely see 'em.

260
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:23,422
It's my damn strapless bra.

261
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,591
It's squishing my girls.

262
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:26,458
[SIGHS]

263
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:27,493
Okay, come on, kid.

264
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:30,897
Look, all my friends
have seen 'em and I haven't.

265
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,098
How about this?

266
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:32,832
You erase the tape

267
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,566
and I'll give you
some pointers

268
00:10:34,566 --> 00:10:36,002
on how to impress girls.

269
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,336
Impress girls?

270
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:38,938
See boobs.

271
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,239
That sounds good.

272
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,140
Tell me what you got.

273
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,242
Okay, first,
you erase the tape.

274
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,978
That's not how I roll.

275
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:46,879
First, the info.

276
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:49,916
Okay, I'll give you
the advice first.

277
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,918
Hey, guys,
this is Jane.

278
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:55,154
Oh, Jane, why don't you go
sign the guest book.

279
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,423
I'll be there in a second.

280
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:59,759
Now, that was flat.

281
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:03,730
So wait a second,
am I stars or stripes?

282
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,799
It's stripes and solids,
and you're stripes.

283
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,000
Oh. Okay.
It's just--

284
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,203
When you hit it with the stick,
it's like miniature golf.

285
00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:13,105
That's fun.

286
00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:15,808
All right,
that can't be too hard.

287
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:18,644
Ah, nertz.

288
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:22,982
["AFTERNOON DELIGHT"
PLAYING ON PHONE]

289
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,285
I thought I put it on vibrate.

290
00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:26,919
No, don't do that.

291
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:32,024
There might be somebody here who
doesn't think we're a couple.

292
00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:33,292
What?

293
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:34,660
Do we want a monogrammed
dance floor?

294
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:37,329
What, is she smoking crack?
I-I gotta call her.

295
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:40,332
She's getting out of control
with this wedding stuff.

296
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:41,934
Here's some advice.

297
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:44,003
Give up.

298
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:47,073
Wow. That's a good
pep talk, coach.

299
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,607
Look, over the years,

300
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,977
Audrey's gotten all kinds
of grand ideas:

301
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:54,680
We're getting a lake house,
going to Morocco,

302
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,082
giving up dairy.

303
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:59,151
I've learned that if I say no,
she digs in her heels,

304
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:02,088
but if I give up
and say nothing,

305
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:06,793
eventually she loses enthusiasm,
the idea flames out,

306
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,796
even before we've opened
the soy cheese.

307
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,932
It's gonna be really hard
not to say anything.

308
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,566
Don't worry about it,
I'm here for you.

309
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:18,504
If you start to screw up,
I'll punch you in the neck.

310
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:21,874
Thanks, man,
you're a good friend.

311
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:25,044
Hey, how's it going,
Mini-sota Fats?

312
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:25,377
[LAUGHS]

313
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:28,080
It's going great.
You just keep drinking.

314
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,115
Hey, how's
the hustle going?

315
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,417
Ah, right on schedule.
They're getting cocky,

316
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,919
almost time to lay down
the big bet.

317
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:33,986
How's it going
with Drunkenstein?

318
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:37,323
I think he's almost ready
to terrorize the villagers.

319
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:38,324
Hey, what do you guys think?

320
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,459
Should I have gone
to that wedding with Audrey?

321
00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:42,394
Oh, no. Then I would
never have gotten

322
00:12:42,394 --> 00:12:44,797
to smell your great breath.

323
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,834
You're right. Because, I mean,
I was at our wedding.

324
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,669
Shouldn't that be enough?

325
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:52,571
[GROANS]
You guys are great.

326
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,506
I'm-a get you
a round of shots.

327
00:12:54,506 --> 00:12:55,875
Waitress.

328
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,812
All right.
A toast.

329
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:07,653
Okay, for starters,
you can't just walk up to a girl

330
00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:09,421
and say,
"Let me see your boobs."

331
00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:10,689
Oh, right.

332
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:13,725
Let me see
your boobs, please.

333
00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,161
That's not what I meant.

334
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:19,065
It helps to be sensitive,
and to connect emotionally.

335
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:22,734
I'm 10, not gay.

336
00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:27,239
Teachers are really
underpaid.

337
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,909
And I don't know,
I was thinking

338
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:31,810
we could get married
in the same church.

339
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:35,114
Oh, and we have to have
amazing centerpieces

340
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:35,714
like they have here.

341
00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:37,917
ADAM:
Amazing centerpieces?

342
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:40,786
What do I think?

343
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:47,259
I think
whatever you want.

344
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:52,031
All right.
I'll talk to you later.

345
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:53,399
What?

346
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:56,268
No, your boobs are great.

347
00:13:56,268 --> 00:14:00,539
Hey, how much will you give me
if I ate all these jalapeños?

348
00:14:00,772 --> 00:14:02,208
Nothing.

349
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,476
Done.

350
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:06,512
I'm at this fraternity party--

351
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,380
That's where
I first met my husband.

352
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,448
And later on, I'm asleep

353
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,283
and this rock crashes through
my window.

354
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,920
And I look out,
and Jeff's in the courtyard.

355
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,589
[AS JEFF]:
"Just wanted to make sure
you got home safe, chief."

356
00:14:17,589 --> 00:14:18,090
[LAUGHS]

357
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:22,228
It was the most romantic thing
I had ever seen.

358
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:25,031
That's romantic?

359
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,267
Well, I'm from
a very small town.

360
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,936
But it was the effort he made.

361
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:33,472
I mean, he was willing
to look stupid for me.

362
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,474
Almost determined.

363
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:40,146
Right then I knew, this guy
will always be there for me.

364
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,548
So where is he tonight?

365
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:47,386
My point is, do something
that gets a girl's attention

366
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,121
and lets her know
she's special.

367
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:52,524
And then don't stop doing it
14 years later.

368
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:54,626
That's the advice?

369
00:14:54,626 --> 00:14:55,694
Yeah.

370
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:56,929
So you'll erase the tape?

371
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:59,165
I'll record over it.

372
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,266
Thank you.

373
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:05,404
With footage of your boobs,
because that advice sucked.

374
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:10,076
Excuse me,
I just wanted to thank you.

375
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,678
I'm engaged
and your wedding is giving me

376
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,013
tons of ideas for mine.

377
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:15,514
Here's an idea: Elope.

378
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:17,583
This whole thing's
been a nightmare.

379
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:21,087
Really? It's so romantic.

380
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:21,954
Not when everything goes wrong

381
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:24,190
and people complain about
where they're seated,

382
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,393
and your dad won't shut up
about the cost.

383
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,660
Oh, I'm sorry.

384
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:30,396
Your dress looks nice.

385
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,564
Oh, thanks.

386
00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:37,636
So hot.

387
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:38,870
Hey, my pigeon's got
some friends

388
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:43,042
that want to, uh, lay
some action on our next game.

389
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:46,178
Hey, uh, why is he downing
all these pickle chips?

390
00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:48,080
He thinks
they're jalapeños.

391
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,381
[GRUNTING]

392
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:52,018
Burning my mouth.
Burning.

393
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:52,985
Hey, pay up.

394
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,087
I said I wouldn't
give you anything.

395
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:58,690
All right.
So we're even.

396
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:03,829
Hey, call Jen,
and see if Audrey's mad at me.

397
00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,397
No. You know what?

398
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:07,699
Have her send a picture,
'cause I can tell

399
00:16:07,699 --> 00:16:08,500
just by looking at it.

400
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,037
Hey, listen. You know, uh,
for a free guy out on the town,

401
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,739
you're talking an awful lot
about your wife.

402
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,007
You know what?
That's it.

403
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:15,741
We're going right now.

404
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,476
You and me. Fight.
Whoa, Jeff, whoa.

405
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,245
Come on, man,
you don't wanna fight.

406
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,980
You know what?
You're right.

407
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,381
I love Russki.

408
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:24,416
I wanna pick you up, though.

409
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:27,019
Oh, okay. That's good.
Put me down.

410
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,588
Keep up there long enough
while I run the table

411
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:30,256
and win the big bet.

412
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,024
Hey, Bluto, you wanna be my
muscle?

413
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,559
You got it.
All right.

414
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,161
I'll whistle
when I need you.

415
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:38,197
Oh, God. My insides.

416
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:39,298
Agh.

417
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,400
Sit down, little fella.

418
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:41,900
Oh, God.

419
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:45,771
Last weekend Audrey went
to the auto show with me.

420
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:48,940
Doesn't even care about cars
but still went.

421
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:51,677
Even carried the brochures.

422
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,944
Must've weighed 40 pounds.

423
00:16:52,944 --> 00:16:56,382
Oh, God,
Scotch and-- And pickles?

424
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:57,783
Help me.

425
00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:01,353
I hope she's having fun
at that wedding.

426
00:17:02,754 --> 00:17:04,723
She's a good egg.

427
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:07,326
And she makes good eggs.

428
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:10,396
Wow, I can't believe
I made that shot.

429
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,264
That's crazy. That's lucky.

430
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:15,367
There's no way I'll be able
to make this one.

431
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:20,506
Oh, what--? I can't--
They all went in the holes.

432
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:21,873
That's good, right?

433
00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:22,708
Pay up.

434
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,177
Dude, you hustled us.

435
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:26,478
Now we're gonna kick your ass.

436
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:28,013
Really? You got
a problem with me,

437
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,781
take it up
with the big guy.

438
00:17:29,781 --> 00:17:31,350
[WHISTLES]

439
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,920
[WHISTLES]

440
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:36,955
Where's Jeff?

441
00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:41,060
I don't know,
but his breath is still here.

442
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,694
[YELPS]

443
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,297
Heh-heh. This guy,

444
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:47,666
he looks wiry and dumb,

445
00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:52,037
but I tell you what,
he's tough as nails, that one.

446
00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:56,108
["AFTERNOON DELIGHT"
PLAYING ON PHONE]

447
00:18:00,011 --> 00:18:02,013
Heh-heh-heh.

448
00:18:02,013 --> 00:18:04,616
That's a good song.

449
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:09,221
Oh. I'm having
the worst night of my life.

450
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,323
I think I'm over
the fancy wedding thing,

451
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:12,424
it seems like a big headache.

452
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,126
Hey, would you
distract the bride

453
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,095
while I put this
back on the cake?

454
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,296
Jen, what--?

455
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:19,765
It looked just like
me and Adam.

456
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,600
Give me that.
JEFF: Hey, everyone,

457
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,102
I got something to say.
Oh, no.

458
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:27,706
You don't know me, but, uh,
there's a very special--

459
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,941
Very special lady
in the house.

460
00:18:29,941 --> 00:18:32,211
Not you. Not you.

461
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:36,682
Anyway, I wanna dedicate
a song to Audrey.

462
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:37,449
Oh, no.

463
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,317
'Cause this song reminds me

464
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,919
of a really special day
that we had together,

465
00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:42,154
because she's a champ,

466
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,856
and she carried
all the brochures.

467
00:18:44,856 --> 00:18:45,657
Hit it.

468
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:50,296
[BAND PLAYING BILLY OCEAN'S
"GET OUT OF MY DREAMS"]

469
00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:54,400
♪♪ Get out of my dream ♪♪

470
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:59,004
♪♪ Get into my car ♪♪

471
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:00,105
The auto show.

472
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:02,341
♪♪ Get out of my dreams ♪♪

473
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,975
You're ruining my wedding.

474
00:19:03,975 --> 00:19:07,679
♪♪ Get into my car ♪♪

475
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:10,015
Hey, you see that idiot
up there?

476
00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:13,252
That idiot is my husband.

477
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,253
So?

478
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,221
So if he's willing to

479
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,955
humiliate himself like that
to impress me,

480
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:20,159
don't you think I know what
I'm talking about?

481
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:24,496
So if I act like
an idiot for a girl,

482
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,265
I might get to see her boobs?

483
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:29,201
He is gonna see mine tonight.

484
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,237
Okay, I'll erase the tape.

485
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:34,606
Oh, better yet.
Record over it with him.

486
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:37,309
Hm-hm-hm.

487
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:40,646
I just got out of
next year's auto show.

488
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:46,918
[CHUCKLES]

489
00:19:46,918 --> 00:19:49,355
Thank you for making
an ass out of yourself for me.

490
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,690
What are you taking about?
I was great.

491
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,226
I rocked the house.

492
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,162
You can stop making an ass
out of yourself, okay.

493
00:19:57,162 --> 00:20:01,032
No comprende, soy Guamish.

494
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:04,670
I changed my mind.

495
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:05,904
I will look at your boobs.

496
00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:09,408
No way,
you creepy little perv.

497
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,210
But thanks for asking.

498
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:16,215
Nice butt.

499
00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:20,752
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

500
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:25,023
[♪♪♪♪♪♪]