Lord, we come to you in prayer today,
seeking strength during these trying times.
To thank you for nourishing our bodies, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Just ask about my grade.
Forgive her, Lord, 'cause Chemistry
has her speaking in tongues.
Amen.
Baby, it's gonna be fine.
What's your password?
I, underscore,
hate, underscore,
San, underscore, Diego.
Sorry.
You asked.
Ooh!
Baby, the Lord came through for you.
You got 70%.
Oh, my God.
What's wrong?
That's a "C." That's not bad.
Oh, no, it's not a "C."
70% in this class is a No Pass.
Oh, God, I failed my test!
What?!
If 70% was failing in the football world,
there would be no football world.
I can't believe it.
Believe it. Half of us can't even read.
That's why they draw the plays in X's and O's.
No. I can't believe I failed.
Derwin, I've never failed anything in my entire life.
Man, I'm sorry, Boo.
Sausage link?
I can't eat right now.
I feel nauseous.
Oh, God.
"Open Me."
Oh...
* This little light of mine *
* I'm gonna let it shine *
* Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine *
* Hey... *
Hey!
Mel, I still have soap on this little light of mine.
A pregnancy test?
Ooh.
Why would you buy me this?
Come on, Boo. Your cycle's in synch
with my Fruit of the Month Club.
And this month, my Granny apples came,
but your Aunt Flow didn't.
I'm only three days late.
But you was bugging about your "C"...
How many ways do I have to tell you?
It wasn't a "C." It was a No Pass!
You see how crazy you are?
And you was nauseous.
Because of my grade.
Okay. Baby, take it easy.
(sighs)
I don't want you doing anything to upset Baby Apollonia.
There is no baby.
I'm not pregnant.
Okay, how do you know until you take the test?
Derwin, I don't need to take that test.
I'm just... a little stressed out, okay?
(moans)
Look, Boo.
I know the thought of having a baby's probably scary,
but I got you.
All right? I'm ready for this.
Derwin...
the last time you babysat your nephew,
you lost him in the mall.
Mel, he was fine.
Security cameras had him every step of the way.
And what if he hadn't decided to shoplift?
But he did, Mel. He did.
Now, talk to me, because it sounds
like you don't want to have my baby.
Not like this.
We're not even married.
Let's just... give it a couple of days, okay?
And if my Aunt Flow still hasn't come,
I'll take the test.
All right.
Thanks.
And I know you did not say "Apollonia."
But I did, Mel.
I did.
-Hi. -Uh, Jordan? Yes.
Coach told me you were the person
I needed to talk to.
Yeah?
Okay, well, tomorrow during halftime,
I want to propose to my girl.
You want to propose to your girlfriend.
On national television.
Yeah. That's romantic, huh?
-Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. -All right, picture this.
-It's halftime. -Okay.
Oh. Hey. Let me. Um... Stadium lights go down.
-Mm-hmm. -And when they come back up,
there you are in the middle of the field... with a ring.
-Oh! -Just like in the movies.
You know what I'm talking about.
Okay. And the crowd goes wild.
And then... and then, you know what?
Oprah comes out, hands you a microphone.
Oprah?
You're right.
That's too far-fetched.
Star Jones.
You're messing with me, aren't you?
Yeah. You know what, guy?
Listen, um... I know you players think it's all about you,
but behind the scenes, this is a global business.
Now, which do you suggest I cut for halftime
to accommodate your little proposal?
Uh... Toyota commercial?
Or the Wham reunion?
Who the hell is Wham?
(knocking on door)
-Hey. -Jason.
-Sorry to interrupt, Jordan. I, uh... -That's okay.
I know it's last minute. I'm gonna need four
extra tickets for the game, Is that gonna be a problem?
Jason. Nothing's a problem for you.
-Thank you. -You got it.
-Hey. -Hey! -Hey!
-Hey. -Hey! -No...
(laughing)
-Uh... -Oh. J. Just...
Yeah. Okay, Jordan, I get that-- halftime's no good?
But what about during a time out?
Can you please get out of my office?
You...?
Now!
Hey, listen, J. I need you to hook me up with a favor.
I want to propose to Melanie during halftime tomorrow.
Oh, Rook, that's beautiful.
She knocked up, ain't she?
No. I mean, well, maybe.
Maybe? What maybe?
Well, she hasn't taken the pregnancy test yet.
So... So you're asking her to marry you
because she might be pregnant?
And it might be yours?
No, guys, I'm asking her because I love her, man,
and she said something about us not being married this morning,
so I know it's bugging her.
Hey, Malik, can you hook me up with your jeweler?
Oh, yeah. No problem.
That's the only help you're getting from me.
Unless you need a coupon for the DNA testing.
Nah. Actually, I need Jason to convince the event lady
to let me propose during halftime.
-Why me? -'Cause, like she said,
Jason, nothing's a problem for you.
Why don't you do like Mr. Romantic, here?
Take her down to the courthouse
for the half-off matrimony special.
Hey!
Hey, Kelly didn't need some big blingy proposal.
We were at my Uncle Ned's funeral,
I realized life was short.
I turned to her, I said, "Hey, Kel,
we need to get married." And you know what?
It was the perfect engagement party:
friends, family...
free food.
Although that's sounds, uh, really, uh... magical,
I need to go all out for Melanie.
And, J, you're the only one
who can make that happen for me, man.
-Look, I'm... -Can you please,
please talk to the event lady for me?
Okay.
But this counts as your engagement present.
And... your wedding gift.
And if you should have a baby shower,
we're good.
MAN: What about this?
I like to call it the "Slap Your Mama."
Diamond's so big, it makes you want to, uh...
slap your mama.
Sold.
Makes me want to slap a rookie.
-Ow. Ow! -Forget it.
-Too expensive. Next. -Hey, hold up.
Hold up. Melanie deserves the very best,
and they say you can't put a price tag on love.
-It's $70,000. -(door closes)
They lied.
Babak, what the hell you doing here?
I'm not Babak.
I'm Babak's brother, Tubak.
Yeah, Ma. He's here to sell the rookie an engagement ring.
Oh, my God.
You're proposing to Melanie?
-(sighing) -Hey, man.
It was supposed to be a secret, Malik.
(squealing)
Here we go.
When? Where? Have you picked out your tux?
We have so much to do and so little time.
Ladies, please.
A'ight, your boy's got it all under control.
Just promise me, promise me you won't spoil the surprise.
-We promise. -Sunbeam honor.
So, when are you popping the question?
Tomorrow, during halftime.
(squealing)
And Jason...
he got them to tie it in with a Toyota commercial.
Yes, sir.
Your boy's getting her a new Camry, too, dawg.
(laughing)
This is the best proposal ever.
So have you picked out a ring yet?
Nah, not yet.
How 'bout this one?
-Ew... -Right.
It's an engagement ring, not a parting gift.
See. Your values are all screwed up.
It's not the size of the engagement ring that matters,
-it's the symbol of love it represents. -Oh, please,
all Kelly's ring symbolizes is your love
for Cracker Jacks.
Hey!
-I love my ring. -Let 'em know, Kel.
Yeah. It's like getting a dog from the pound.
Just because you didn't get it from some
fancy dog store, doesn't mean it...
Okay, stop, Kel.
I think I'm gonna go with this one.
It's $20,000.
Oh, my God! Melanie's gonna be so happy.
It's gorgeous, it's perfect, it's...
It's a damn shame my people don't know
how to save their money.
(knocking on door)
Oh. Oh, my God. What time is it?
From the looks of those pants, Hammer time.
Girl, go on and
get yourself changed, or we're gonna be late for the game.
Shoot! Just let me throw on some sneakers, okay?
You're not gonna change clothes?
And fix your hair?
Oh, no. No time.
What are we gonna do?
We can't let her go on TV looking like that.
We have to tell her about the proposal.
Are you slow? We promised Derwin
we wouldn't spoil the surprise.
Uh...
a few of us were thinking about grabbing drinks
after the game and the bar has a really strict dress code.
No ugly.
Oh. No, I can't go out anymore.
From now on, I'm all about studying.
Girl, but you're still going to be out in public.
Just roll your face in some makeup
and run a rake through that hair.
Please. Nobody's even going to notice I'm there.
-Wait! -Kelly, no.
I'm sorry, but if we let her leave this house
looking like a lesbian lumberjack,
she'll never forgive us.
Forgive you for what?
Sweetie, I'm so sorry to ruin the surprise, but...
Kelly, don't.
Derwin's going to propose during halftime
on national television.
-What?! -(squeals): Yes!
See?
That's why we wanted you to get cute.
Oh, no.
Oh, no...
please tell me you're kidding.
He can't do this.
Okay, okay, calm down.
I know.
It's too late to get to an acceptable on-camera weight.
But look on the bright side.
He loves you.
And he can't back out of it
because it's tied into a Toyota commercial.
Oh, yeah.
You're getting a new car, too!
Kelly, why don't you just tell her
the size of the ring while you're at it?
No!
You're right you'll have to find that out for yourself.
(whispers): Girl, it's big.
Okay, just... stop.
You don't understand.
He can't propose to me.
What?
Why not?
This is everything we've ever dreamed of.
He's only asking me because he thinks I'm pregnant.
Oh, my God.
You knocked up?
I'm not pregnant.
I mean...
I don't think I am.
I can't be.
I tried wishing it away, too,
but it doesn't work.
-Well, did you take a test? -Yeah.
A chemistry test, and I failed it.
Now I could fail the class,
which means I could fail medical school.
I meant a pregnancy test, sweetie.
But if that test says I'm pregnant,
I'll have to drop out of school and give up everything.
I'm not ready to face that reality right now.
Look, why don't you just take the damn pregnancy test
instead of getting yourself all worked up over
should've-would've- could've.
Your ass should've worn a condom.
(sighs heavily): Fine.
I'll take the test.
Hey, Mel, what's wrong?
Is everything okay?
It's not Apollonia, is it?
Derwin, there's something I have to tell you.
I know about the halftime proposal.
What?
-I'm sorry. -Who told you?
-Derwin. -Kelly? Tasha? Kelly?
Baby, it's okay.
I know you wanted to do the right thing for me...
and for Apollonia.
-(men shouting chant) -But you don't...
(mouthing)
I can't hear you.
-(chanting stops) -I'm not pregnant!
No child support, dawg.
(cheering)
Hey...
don't look so disappointed.
Baby, we're fine.
I love that you were willing to propose,
but I'm not pregnant.
You're off the hook.
But, Mel, I could've swore...
Move your ass, Davis, it's game time!
I just don't understand
why you couldn't accept his proposal
even if you're not pregnant.
You're already living together, so what's the difference?
Because...
Med School, I got this.
She see your ass back-flipping, jumping through hoops...
Girl, your life is a three-ring circus.
She ain't ready for all that.
(crowd cheering)
What's this?
I'm with Saber's wide receiver Derwin Davis
who has a special message
for a very special lady in his life.
What's up, Saber fans?
I'm here to let you know that
I'm in love with a girl.
Melanie,
throughout our entire relationship, baby,
you have always had my back.
You sacrificed so much for me.
Would you stop?
Okay, you know how
Prince is my favorite singer?
He's made great music with tons of people.
Vanity 6, The New Power Generation,
Apollonia...
But even without those people, baby,
Prince has still made great music.
And what I'm trying to say, Mel, is...
just because we don't have Apollonia,
doesn't mean we still can't make beautiful music together.
I don't know what the hell he just said,
but that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
And we'll be playing that music
in your brand-new, fully-loaded Toyota Camry,
which is also available in hybrid synergy drive.
Toyota. The power to move forward.
And speaking of moving forward...
Melanie, I ask you...
in front of the whole wide world, with this ring...
...will you marry me?
Yes.
(cheering)
She said yes.
-Sh... -(crowd cheering)
-You'll see, you'll see. -Jason...
Watch your step, watch your step.
(chamber music plays)
Oh.
It's... beautiful.
Wow.
Hi, guys.
Jason...
what is all this?
Kel...
Oh.
Kel, you are the love of my life.
You know that, right?
Mm-hmm.
(sighs)
Will you marry me, again?
Oh, my God.
Look, baby, I know I haven't always been
the easiest man to live with,
and you probably deserve ten times more than this...
Well, maybe not ten times more, 'cause...
this was very expensive, and...
I'm sorry, I...
I'm sorry.
Anyway, I'm...
Baby, breathe.
Okay.
I'm giving you the proposal
I should've given you seven years ago...
minus, you know, Uncle Ned's corpse.
Is that a "yes"?
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
I love you, baby.
Wait.
I meant what I said.
I adore my ring.
You really don't have to.
I know I don't have to.
I want to. You deserve it, babe.
Makes you want to slap your mama, don't it?
Yo, check this out, Mel.
You got your satellite radio, power seats...
Ooh! And you know how you're always cold
and I'm always hot?
Here's our solution:
dual climate control.
The Toyota rep told me that it saved his marriage.
Good thing we got ours before we got married, huh?
Derwin...
there's something I need to talk to you about.
Boo, don't even trip.
I'm sure nobody was paying attention to your
Where's Waldo hat.
-(laughs): I'm only playing. -Derwin...
seriously.
What?
I'm not ready to get married.
I want to wait until I'm done with school.
That's...
That's five years, Melanie.
-I know. I just... -Then why...
would you accept my proposal
if you weren't ready to get married?
Well, what was I supposed to do?
Turn you down on national TV?
Derwin, I told you before the game,
you didn't have to propose to me because I wasn't pregnant.
Did you not hear my proposal?
I did it to show you
that whether or not we were having a baby
that I still wanted to marry you.
-Baby, I love you. -I love you, too.
And I do want to marry you.
Just not now.
-Man. -I'm sorry, Derwin.
Ever since I moved to San Diego, I have become so wrapped up
in your life with the Sabers and the Sunbeams and the games
that I've started to lose sight of my own dreams.
(sighs)
I'm afraid if we get married now...
...I won't remember what those dreams were.
Oh, so... so marrying me killed your dreams now.
That's not fair, Derwin.
You wanted until you started making touchdowns
and established your career to propose.
Why can't I wait to establish my career
to get married?
Baby, I'm not saying I'm checking out on you.
I'm just checking in on me.
(sighs)
I feel as though I should give this back.
Melanie, on the real?
Okay, you take that ring off,
we are gonna have serious problems.
-What do you want me to do? -I don't know,
but you put me out there.
You say yes in front of all those people.
Derwin, I'm happy to wear this ring.
(sighs)
I'm proud to wear this ring.
Just as long as you understand
it needs to be the right time for both of us.
Guess I don't have a choice but to understand.
Hey, congratulations on your engagement, man.
Sabers rock!
(whooping)
Yes!
Sabers!