1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:02,836 Oh, I get it, Mom. 2 00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:06,307 Everything I've done since I left home is wrong. 3 00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,508 So how would you feel 4 00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,877 if Derwin and I came home for Christmas? 5 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:12,946 Yes, Derwin has to come, too. 6 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,717 No, Mom. He's not abusive, and I'm not under his thumb. 7 00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:17,651 (key rattling in lock) 8 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:20,521 Oh, my God! He's home! I got to go! 9 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,723 ("Jingle Bells" playing in background) 10 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,326 Welcome home, baby! 11 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:29,730 Oh, I'm sorry you lost your game. 12 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,031 I thought a Christmas tree 13 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,033 might cheer you up! 14 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,269 * Oh, what fun it is to ride * 15 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,905 * In a one-horse open sleigh * 16 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,473 * Jingle bells * 17 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:43,010 This tree looks just like how I feel. 18 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,678 * Jingle all the way... * 19 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,380 Oh, so you fell off a car 20 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,949 and accidentally got dragged all the way home, too? 21 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,152 (laughs) 22 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,721 Can't believe we lost that game, Mel. 23 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,423 Oh, baby, 24 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,791 I know you're sad the season's over. 25 00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:00,561 But at least now we get to spend some quality time together 26 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,062 over the holidays. 27 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:03,464 I told my mom we might spend Christmas 28 00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,465 in Connecticut with them. 29 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,436 I thought you were trying to cheer me up. 30 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,105 Derwin, there's no better time than Christmas 31 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,906 to try and patch things up. 32 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:16,177 There's something about eggnog that makes people want to talk. 33 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,412 Yeah. It's called rum. 34 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,184 Boo, I don't want to be the Grinch, 35 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,552 but I can't visit your parents. 36 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,487 Come on. I know it's freezing, 37 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,789 and we can't sleep together, and my parents hate you... 38 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,127 ...but it'll be fun! 39 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:36,397 No, Boo, my season's not over yet. 40 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,399 That was your last game. 41 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,134 Of the regular season. 42 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,735 We could still make the playoffs. 43 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,938 If L.A. wins this weekend, we go to the Wild Card game, 44 00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,940 so we still got to practice. 45 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,410 I'm sorry, Boo, but, hey, the important thing is 46 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:50,878 we'll still be together, right? 47 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,214 -I guess. -Plus... 48 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:57,285 you got your girls-- the Sunbeams. 49 00:01:57,351 --> 00:02:00,154 Yeah, you're right. 50 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,756 It can still be Christmas in San Diego. 51 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,292 That's my girl. 52 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,894 But, if I can't go home for Christmas, 53 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,628 I want a bracelet. 54 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:09,896 Excuse me? 55 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:14,302 I'm sorry, but I can't leave that up to chance, too. 56 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,215 Everybody, bring it in! 57 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,217 Listen up! 58 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,452 I know spirits are a little low, 59 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,354 but we're not out of this. 60 00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,955 And, while we can't control what happens 61 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:35,989 between L.A. and Seattle, 62 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,459 we can control how we stay together as a team. 63 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,927 -That's right. -We need to become one person. 64 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,162 One heartbeat. 65 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,432 To... gether. 66 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,600 -Yes, sir. -Uh-huh. -Yes, sir. 67 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,302 Now, when I was a rookie... 68 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,407 ...I learned of a Saber ritual for times like these. 69 00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,709 Please let it be hookers. Please let it be hookers. 70 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,711 Trent? 71 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,848 For the last time, just get a divorce. 72 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,483 Okay? 73 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,385 I'm talking about showers. 74 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,421 We don't take any till after the L.A. game on Sunday. 75 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,090 We keep these jerseys on, we practice in them, 76 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,559 we eat in them, we sleep in them. 77 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,193 They become our skin. You guys with me?! 78 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,194 -Yeah! -Who's with me?! 79 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,396 -Yeah! -Malik? 80 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,664 Malik, you with me? 81 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,732 Man, I ain't doing all that. 82 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,603 This is about solidarity. 83 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,472 One mind, one person, one heartbeat... 84 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,106 One load of crap. 85 00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,742 Dawgs, I got an image to keep up. 86 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:33,080 And nowhere in that image is me smelling like a turkey burger. 87 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,315 This ain't about you. This is about 88 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:35,683 a little thing called brotherhood. 89 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:39,353 Don't you have to be a brother to be in a brotherhood? 90 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,555 See? See? There it is. 91 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,291 That's that same jackass you been all year, 92 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:47,761 and honestly, that's why nobody on the team likes you. Hmm... 93 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,067 Come on, y'all ease up on Malik. 94 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,269 Shut up, rookie. 95 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,904 I don't need you defending me. 96 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,440 I don't care which one of y'all like me or not. 97 00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:00,808 This ain't grade school! 98 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,977 This is my job, and I do's my job very well. 99 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,846 So y'all can kick rocks. 100 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:10,551 Fine. Fine. We don't make it to the playoffs, it's on you. 101 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:12,853 Yo, Malik. 102 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:13,921 What, rookie? 103 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:17,791 You know why I always thought you was cool? 104 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,327 Because I saw you as a leader of this team. 105 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,996 But a leader wouldn't leave his boys hanging. 106 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,732 What you saying? 107 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,301 I'm saying... 108 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,537 Here's your jockstrap. 109 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,473 No, wait. 110 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,844 Here. This one's yours. 111 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:40,981 I used to be proud to wear this on my head. 112 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,616 Not anymore. 113 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,718 Not anymore! 114 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,222 We have to keep our guys' spirits up 115 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,624 during these trying times. 116 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:54,662 That means no fighting, no weight gain... Lisa. 117 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:58,832 And PMS only stands for "Playoffs Mean Sacrifice." 118 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,569 Jason's got the team giving up something, 119 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,170 so, in the spirit of solidarity, 120 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,139 I suggest that we all sacrifice something, too. 121 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:06,974 (murmuring agreement) 122 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,810 So, until after the game on Sunday, 123 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,179 -no shopping. -(all grumbling) 124 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,381 Well, pick another sacrifice. 125 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:14,782 Just because Big Lots 126 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,784 isn't having their half-yearly sale, 127 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,553 don't be trying to punish the rest of us. 128 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,757 Well, what else do we really care about? 129 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,927 How about alcohol? 130 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,529 Yeah. 131 00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:29,797 How about you leave? 132 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,766 How about you leave and never come back?! 133 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,804 Slow your roll, Betty Ford. 134 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,039 Just think of it as The 12 Steps of Christmas. 135 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,674 -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah. 136 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,210 Fine. 137 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,079 Witches. 138 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,682 And, while we're on the subject of Christmas, 139 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,851 where is Christmas around here? 140 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,886 You haven't decorated your tree, 141 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,555 I haven't heard about a party, 142 00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,023 and have we even hired a Santa? 143 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,357 You know, for the kids. 144 00:05:57,425 --> 00:06:00,127 Look, Med School, Christmas is going to have to wait. 145 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,030 Now, until we find out whether or not we got the Wild Card, 146 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,699 the Saber family's going to be in a holiday holding pattern. 147 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:06,700 -That's right. -Mm-hmm. 148 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,870 You can't put Christmas on hold. 149 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,706 Don't you get tired of protesting at every meeting? 150 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:16,376 It's not like we won't have a Christmas. 151 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,978 If Seattle gets the crap kicked out of them, 152 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,513 it'll be the greatest Christmas ever! 153 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,914 (murmuring agreement) 154 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,417 What kind of people base their happiness 155 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,052 on someone else's sadness? 156 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,455 This is crazy! 157 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,557 You come in here wearing a Rerun 158 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,358 from What's Happening!! beanie... 159 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,927 (all laughing) 160 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,464 ...and we're crazy? No, no, no. 161 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,031 Melanie, just sit down. 162 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,768 You left yourself a little too open with the beret. 163 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,306 Not a team player? (scoffs) 164 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,042 What? I am the team. 165 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,544 Hey, man. 166 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,279 You're mama's not a glass maker. 167 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,981 I can't see the TVs. 168 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,956 Is that better? 169 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,626 Man, why can't you just take a shower, 170 00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:07,761 and stop oppressing me? 171 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:12,165 You know that I cannot take a shower, you...! 172 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,967 What you mean, you can't take a shower? 173 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,836 Something wrong with the plumbing? 174 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:19,640 Tee Tee, I told you about using all of that toilet paper. 175 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:22,910 It's not me this time, Ms. Mack. Talk to your boy. 176 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:26,480 Jason's lemon head got the whole team all pumped up 177 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,781 on some not-taking-showers ritual 178 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,149 until after the L.A. game. 179 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,718 You didn't tell them you have OCD? 180 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,286 Ma, a pro football locker room ain't the place to admit 181 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,923 that if I don't take five showers a day, I freak out. 182 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,658 I offered to give him a sponge bath, 183 00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,927 and sing that old Peabo Bryson song you like. 184 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,598 Malik, what are you going to do? 185 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,967 I'm going to man up. 186 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,069 I don't want nobody thinking I ain't about the team, Ma. 187 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,139 I can smell like trash for a couple days. 188 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,607 Look, I'm not 189 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:54,875 going to have you running around here 190 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:57,978 sweating, scratching, and shaking like a crackhead. 191 00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:02,816 Look, you need to go tell Jason the truth. 192 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,052 No. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction. 193 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,987 I'm just going to suffer through it. 194 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,990 Tee Tee, call Jason and tell him I'm in. 195 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:13,994 Now, if y'all will excuse me, I'm going to throw up. 196 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,931 Lift the seat, baby. 197 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:18,832 (chuckles) 198 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,001 Yeah, that's nasty. 199 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,872 (door opening) 200 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,608 Hey, what's up, Mel? 201 00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:31,278 What happened to that Charlie Brown tree? 202 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,682 I thought a cactus was more appropriate for San Diego. 203 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:38,217 Thorny, dried out, heartless. 204 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,554 Merry Christmas! 205 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,756 What's wrong with you? 206 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,627 Derwin, I was all onboard for having a Christmas 207 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,028 with you and the Sunbeams, 208 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:51,498 but apparently football trumps everything around here. 209 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,201 Yeah. Because we're football players. 210 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,469 We play football. 211 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,106 Look, I called the front office, and I... 212 00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,307 Oh...! 213 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,910 You called my job? 214 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:03,977 Yes. 215 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,246 And I found out you'll be done practicing Christmas Eve, 216 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,781 so we can fly home and 217 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,283 at least spend Christmas Day with my parents. 218 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,920 Melanie, no. 219 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,756 But I'm just trying to make this work for both of us. 220 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,791 No, you're trying to make this work for you. 221 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,460 Look, baby, I am not going nowhere Christmas Eve. 222 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,830 Me and the team is going to be watching the L.A. game together. 223 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,331 It's a solidarity thing. 224 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,801 Now I can't go home because you have to watch TV? (scoffs) 225 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,537 Hey, Melanie, why is it so hard for you to understand 226 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,740 that this is important to me? 227 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,074 Baby, I am this close to making it 228 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,176 -to the playoffs my rookie year! -Okay, fine. 229 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,012 You do what's important to you for Christmas, and stay here, 230 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,081 and I'll do what's important to me, and go home. 231 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:44,752 I've never missed a Christmas with my family. 232 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,287 Then you'll be batting a thousand. 233 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,022 Go home. 234 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,691 Fine. I will. 235 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:51,659 Good. Go! 236 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:52,559 I am! 237 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,227 You should! 238 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,262 Derwin? 239 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,296 So... 240 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,966 just to be clear, you're not coming? 241 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,975 -(water running) -JASON: Ho, ho! I hear water running. 242 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,277 I knew you were trying to do this... 243 00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:14,581 Oh, oh, I was just, uh... 244 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,984 I thought, uh... 245 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,552 Just leave me alone, man. 246 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,821 Sure, I'll just leave you alone 247 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:24,024 now that I see that you're not acting weird or anything. 248 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,827 Turn the water off, man. 249 00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:29,162 I'm about to jump in it. Turn it off! 250 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,164 Ooh, dude, ooh! 251 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,133 What is going on? 252 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:37,104 You do something I'm going to hear about on the news? 253 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,473 I got OCD, man. 254 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,810 If I don't take, like, a million showers a day, 255 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,244 I'm all messed up. 256 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,379 Are you serious? 257 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:51,418 Man, your water bill must be out of this world. 258 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,788 I'm sorry, I just... 259 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,323 I'm sorry. 260 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,026 Why didn't you just say something, man? 261 00:10:59,092 --> 00:10:59,860 Dawg, 262 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,361 I'm Malik Wright, man. 263 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,196 I don't show weakness. 264 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,865 No, dude, you do whatever you need to do 265 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:05,933 to get yourself right. 266 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,300 I'll cover for you with the team. 267 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,468 Just... 268 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,137 Hell, no, man. 269 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,905 Look... 270 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,774 I don't need no happy-face- sticker-looking fool 271 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,242 covering for me. 272 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:19,012 No, you need to give Leroy from Fame his headband back. 273 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,183 Are we going to keep going there or am I going to help you? 274 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,518 'Cause you're in a bad state. You look like crap, dude. 275 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:26,619 And you're playing worse. 276 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,821 You just do you, man, all right? 277 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,923 I want my boys to know that I care about this squad 278 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,159 just as much as anybody else. 279 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,961 And as bad as I want to shower... 280 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,228 (ragged breathing) 281 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:39,332 ...I want that ring a thousand times more. 282 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,668 I respect that. 283 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,137 I respect that, man. 284 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:50,177 But for real, man, how much is your water bill? 285 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,846 ("The First Noel" instrumental plays in background) 286 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,982 Careful, dear. 287 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,851 Yeah, we wouldn't want any Yuletide mishaps 288 00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,586 that would make me an only child. 289 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,389 Son, you're already dead to us. 290 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,124 MELANIE (laughing): It's okay, Dad. 291 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:08,461 Cameron, even your insults couldn't mess up this Christmas. 292 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,330 I love everything, Mom. 293 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,731 It's perfect! 294 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,767 Yes, it is. Ooh! 295 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,969 Now that you're home. 296 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,604 Alone. 297 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,272 Honestly, Melanie, 298 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,208 I was not in the space to deal with your friend. 299 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,844 Yeah, I heard ol' boy is 'roided up, 300 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,445 and putting hands on you. 301 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,347 Got you stripping on poles 302 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,217 and stuff. 303 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,718 Cameron, enough. 304 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,054 What? Mom said. 305 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:37,958 Oh, all that matters is, we're together. 306 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,827 Now, the star's on the tree, 307 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,429 so we can each open our Christmas Eve gift. 308 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,697 Cameron, this one has your name on it. 309 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,800 Ah, it's heavy. 310 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,270 Maybe it's your missing personality. 311 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,805 (pager beeping) 312 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,841 Well, duty calls. 313 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,208 James, can't it wait? 314 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,610 Melanie's home. It's Christmas Eve. 315 00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,848 Do you think Mr. Tanaka's heart knows that it's Christmas Eve? 316 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,015 We're about to open the gifts. 317 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,350 Excuse me, Grace, 318 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,386 if the only gift I have to give tonight is the gift of life. 319 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,989 I'll see you kids in the morning. 320 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,323 Bye, Dad. I love you. 321 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,524 Dad! 322 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,659 What are you doing? 323 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,094 I told you, that's gay. 324 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:18,298 Says the boy who asked for earrings for Christmas. 325 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,245 Mom, are you okay? 326 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,882 This is a good object lesson for you, Melanie. 327 00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,649 This is what your life will be like 328 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:41,554 if you're with a man whose career always comes first. 329 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,026 (door closes) 330 00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:48,228 Don't worry, Mel. 331 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:52,732 I mean, Derwin's career will be over in five years. 332 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:55,602 Who are we kidding? Three, tops. 333 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,005 (laughing): Right? 334 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:05,578 (crowd cheering on TV) 335 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:06,914 (whistle blows) 336 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,348 -No! -(all groaning) 337 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,516 No! 338 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:10,884 Hell, no! 339 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,119 Damn! 340 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,722 Hey, hey, Erica, more beer over here. 341 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:19,893 Anyone got a cyanide pill I can put into this? 342 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,628 I'll take it to him. 343 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,863 Nice try, booze bag. 344 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,835 I've never seen a game with so many blown calls, man. 345 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,370 It don't matter nohow. 346 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:33,173 Even if we did make it there, the way Malik 347 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,374 been stankin' it up all week, 348 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,543 we'd still get our asses handed to us. 349 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:37,510 Hold on, hold on, fellas. 350 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,012 We can't put everything off on Malik. 351 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,481 The hell we can't, man. Trent's right. 352 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,917 Malik, you've been playing like a little bitch all week. 353 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:44,918 Yeah. 354 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,319 Okay, you crossed the line now. 355 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,921 I didn't raise no little bitch. 356 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,158 Malik has more heart than all of y'all. 357 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,425 Ma, it's cool. Just let it go. 358 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,427 No, I let it go too long already. 359 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,429 -Malik's got OCD. -Ma! 360 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,298 If he doesn't take five showers a day, 361 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,167 he gets the shakes. He can't focus. 362 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,069 That's why he's been off his game all week. 363 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,238 Mm-mm, mm-mm, she lying, y'all. 364 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,373 OCD? 365 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:10,377 Oh, so now you've got Babe Ruth's disease? 366 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,447 Okay, first of all, Trent, 367 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,550 you need to sue the Mississippi school system. 368 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,121 Secondly, Tasha is telling the truth. 369 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,723 He does have OCD, but he is sticking it out for us. 370 00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,959 For the team. 371 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:30,197 Damn, Tasha, how long he got? 372 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:35,535 Now y'all see what I'm dealing with? 373 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,937 ("O Come All Ye Faithful" instrumental playing) 374 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,272 (sighs) 375 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:51,884 I guess we're going to have to talk to each other, huh? 376 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,721 God, this Christmas sucks. 377 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:59,426 GRACE: Since your father can't be here with us again, 378 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,529 I thought we'd crack open the 30-year-old cognac 379 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,331 he's been saving for his retirement-- 380 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,166 which he'll never do. 381 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,834 Mom, why are you so upset? 382 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,670 Dad always has emergencies that come up on holidays. 383 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,672 And I've always been upset. 384 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,442 But I kept that from you because you were children. 385 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:20,547 But the truth is, I'm lonely. 386 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,449 Hell, the only reason I got pregnant with Cameron 387 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,784 was so that I could have some company. 388 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,387 And you see how well that turned out? 389 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:35,528 Mom, I know it's hard, but Dad loves you. 390 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,030 He just has a very important job 391 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,665 where a lot of people depend on him. 392 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,234 And let's face it, that's part of why you love him. 393 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,370 It's like with me and Der... 394 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,038 What? 395 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,210 I just realized that's the same reason I love Derwin. 396 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,680 Oh, for God's sakes, Melanie, I'm depressed enough. 397 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,815 No, Mom, it's true. 398 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,151 If they weren't passionate about what they do, 399 00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,352 they'd be boring. 400 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,888 Dad's not here for you on Christmas Eve, 401 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,391 but would you trade him for anyone else? 402 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:08,595 Well, Al Roker did lose all that weight. 403 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,632 Melanie, I just want you to learn from my life, 404 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:16,002 and I want you to have a man who's there for you. 405 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,503 I do, Mom. 406 00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:20,473 Only now I'm not there for him. 407 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:24,944 I was so busy nagging Derwin about putting work first, 408 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,546 but the reality is, pretty soon 409 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,013 that's going to be my pager going off 410 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,282 in the middle of Christmas, 411 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,651 and it'll be his turn to understand. 412 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,288 I've got to call him. 413 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:39,092 Oh, God. I've failed as a mother. 414 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,794 Oh, yeah. 415 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,932 I'm telling you that it's okay. 416 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,234 I-I told you, 417 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,468 I'm not going to ruin the tradition. 418 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,869 You're foaming at the mouth, man. 419 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:50,870 Take a shower. 420 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:54,341 One mind... one person. 421 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,610 I think my armpits are swelling. 422 00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:02,215 (cell phone ringing) 423 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,151 Hello. 424 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,085 MELANIE: Hey, baby! 425 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,654 I'm sorry about everything. 426 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,057 Um, I was just talking to my mom about us, and... 427 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,125 you were right. 428 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,160 JASON: You know what? L.A. is losing. 429 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,361 -I'm so sorry. -New tradition. 430 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,495 -I should be there with you. -Everybody in the pool! 431 00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,896 Clothes and all! Let's go! 432 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:17,930 I love you. 433 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,932 Melanie, I love you, too, but I gotta call you back. 434 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,934 We're jumping in the pool for Malik's OCD. 435 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,570 His what? 436 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,438 (water splashing, players whooping) 437 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,808 They're gonna leave a dirty ass ring in your pool, watch. 438 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,277 Kelly? 439 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,145 -(slurping) -Kelly! 440 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,113 (water splashing) 441 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,048 I have OCD, too. 442 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,484 What? 443 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,252 I'm nervous, Tasha! 444 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,853 This game is stressful. 445 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:45,292 So, back up, bitch, and hand me my Chardonnay. 446 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,495 All right, here it is. Come on L.A.! Come on! 447 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,829 (shouting) 448 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,531 (all cheering) 449 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,334 (whooping) 450 00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,702 Whoa, we're in, baby! 451 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:56,569 Wild Card! 452 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,637 That's it! That's it! 453 00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,206 That's why we jump in pools. 454 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,207 It's all about being a team. 455 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,374 Now give me some love! 456 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,510 (all whooping and cheering) 457 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:07,180 That's enough love! That's enough love! 458 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,548 Now where's my wife? 459 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,016 MALIK: Where you at, Ma?! 460 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,784 Right here, Boo! 461 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,786 (joyous laughter) 462 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,933 (raucous laughter) 463 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,307 (laughter and chatter continue) 464 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,745 Merry Christmas, baby. 465 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,747 Hi. 466 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,349 -Mm... -Oh... 467 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,184 Mm... 468 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,987 Oh, you got the tree back! 469 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,356 Yeah. 470 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:53,660 Amazingly, nobody claimed it from the trash pile out front. 471 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,862 Well, from now on, the only Christmas tradition 472 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,731 I want us to have is that we spend it together. 473 00:19:58,798 --> 00:19:59,932 Deal? 474 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,734 Please. 475 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,371 You just came back for your bracelet. 476 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,008 Did you get it? 477 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,744 (screaming and laughing) 478 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,012 Merry Christmas. 479 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,882 MELANIE: Mm, Merry Christmas to you, too.