1 00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,171 (groans) Man, this is some bull! 2 00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:06,040 This TV's got too much glare! 3 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,575 Tee Tee! 4 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,509 Boy, wake up. 5 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,178 Brush your teeth and get my rep on the phone. 6 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,012 Your TV rep? 7 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,848 The glare rep. 8 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,317 Malik... 9 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,352 if you don't get that boy out of this house... 10 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,454 It's midnight and y'all got practice in the morning. 11 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,091 And some of y'all need to practice. 12 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,093 And, Tee Tee, clean up these damn boxes. 13 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,694 This ain't your grandmama's house. 14 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,464 Good game, man. 15 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,299 All right, Rookie, how much I owe you? 16 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,534 Nah, man, it's cool. 17 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,636 What? Boy, I said I owe you. 18 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,038 And Malik Wright always pays his debt. 19 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,408 No matter what you heard. 20 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,543 You haven't heard anything, have you? 21 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,011 Nah. 22 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,779 Cool, cool. 23 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,181 So how much? 24 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:51,051 Well, won 19 games at $100 a game, so... 25 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,554 So... how much is that? 26 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,356 $1,900. 27 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,828 There you go. 28 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,630 Thanks, man. 29 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,532 But, Malik... 30 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:08,669 I'm not sure I can cash a check made out to "Rookie." 31 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,238 My bad, man. 32 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:14,074 "The... Rookie." 33 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,588 Daddy, Daddy, look at my booty. 34 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,022 Look at your what? 35 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,558 Her pirate booty. 36 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,261 Jeremy Swanson's birthday party-- real swords, 37 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,896 real pirate ships, real pirates. 38 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,598 Sounds real expensive. 39 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,899 Also, real dry. 40 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:41,369 The only thing they didn't have was a real bar. 41 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:43,404 Jeremy's mom's in A.A. 42 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:44,838 What's A.A., Mommy? 43 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,574 It's where mommies go when they find out 44 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,776 daddy's marrying the nanny. 45 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,444 Arrr! 46 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,879 Arrr! 47 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,282 I'm going to be a princess for my birthday. 48 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,316 Oh, really? 49 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:56,584 Not with these dirty paws. 50 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,987 (British accent): Go wash up, Your Majesty. 51 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,889 And with soap, Your Highness. 52 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,691 (chuckles) 53 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,992 Hey, babe... 54 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:09,096 get a load of the party favors. 55 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,199 MP3 player? 56 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:14,168 A cell phone? 57 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,804 Tickets to the Vagina Monologues? 58 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:20,107 How old is Jeremy Swanson, and how long has he been a lesbian? 59 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,975 He's six. 60 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,111 Just like Brittany's going to be in a few weeks. 61 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,279 You heard her. 62 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,014 She wants to be a princess. 63 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,851 So... I looked into it. 64 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,920 If we want to do a castle with a prince 65 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,256 and a horse-drawn carriage, it's around ten grand, 66 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,757 including the moat. 67 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,359 Then there's a drawbridge... 68 00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,560 And-and, you know 69 00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:40,494 what you can do? 70 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,629 You can make it a toll bridge, 71 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,197 so you have some way to pay for the party. 72 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,733 Jason... 73 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,569 I'm going to need some real money for this. 74 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,138 Fine. What can you get for 500 bucks? 75 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,707 I don't know-- a cake, some cheap plastic wands, 76 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,443 a couple of cardboard crowns. 77 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,311 Done! That party is going to rock. 78 00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,312 Ooh, ooh! 79 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,481 -Jason... -Ooh, ooh! 80 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,619 Ooh...! 81 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,721 When I say "five," you say "hundred." 82 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,823 Five... five. 83 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,192 Where you at, Kel? 84 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,295 We can see the 7:30, 85 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,265 or we can wait until the 8:00, which is in THX. 86 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,599 Oh, yo, Mel, did I tell you? 87 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,602 Malik has THX wired throughout his whole house. 88 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,003 Yes, right after you told me 89 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,839 Malik leaps tall buildings in a single bound. 90 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,475 I'm sorry, Mel. 91 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,742 It's just so cool. 92 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,511 Me and one of the best quarterbacks in the league 93 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,813 hanging out, like we boys. 94 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,648 Like we boys, Mel! 95 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,150 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard enough about... 96 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,185 Malik! 97 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,219 Right! 98 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,422 I was just toying with you before, Rookie. 99 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,090 Where's your TV? 100 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,492 Damn! 101 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,859 I figured you'd have a crappy TV, 102 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,761 but, brother, this screams "drug problem." 103 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,597 Yeah, there's been a little debate 104 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,565 as to whether we need a bigger TV. 105 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,967 Well, let me end that debate right now for you both. 106 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,369 You do. 107 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,537 Good thing I brought my own. 108 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,672 Yo, mutt! White boy bubble butt! 109 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:04,945 Mm, you rookies sure do come in handy. 110 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,179 Uh, Derwin. 111 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,816 Oh, yeah, Malik, man, not that I wouldn't love to play with you 112 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,319 right now, but me and my girl-- You remember my girl Melanie?-- 113 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,986 we was just heading out to the movies. 114 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:13,787 (Malik chuckles) 115 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,857 Movies? With your girl Melanie? 116 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:17,791 Yeah. 117 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:21,060 And what movie were you going to see, Girl Melanie? 118 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,531 -We were going to see the new M. Night Shyamalan... -Saw it! 119 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,532 The grandma's an alien. 120 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,999 See? I saved you a trip and some money. 121 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,436 Now, come on, Rookie, let me win my money back. 122 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,472 (mouthing): I'm sorry. 123 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,376 Mommy, at my party, can we wear tiaras 124 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:39,980 and have pink ponies like at Sarah's party? 125 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,683 Hey, Brit... 126 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,686 since Sarah already had a princess party, 127 00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:48,188 I was thinking maybe we could do something different. 128 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:51,359 Mommy, no! I have to be a princess! 129 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,726 I told all my friends. 130 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,629 And Kimmy Adler's having her birthday the same day, 131 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:56,830 which makes no sense, 132 00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,100 because her birthday is on Tuesday, not Saturday, 133 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,101 which is my real birthday, 134 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,437 and she's having the Pussycat Dolls at her party! 135 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,739 Brittany, baby, breathe. 136 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,075 And how do you know about the Pussycat Dolls? 137 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,812 Please, mom, I'm going to be six, not five. 138 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,615 Don't remind me. 139 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,488 Sweet dreams. 140 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,423 I'm going to dream about my party. 141 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,658 Are you going to dream about it, too, Mommy? 142 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:28,228 According to Daddy, I'm already dreaming. 143 00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:29,630 Good night. 144 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,770 NEWSCASTER: The forecast: Mostly sunny skies today 145 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,972 -with brisk easterly winds... -(sighs) 146 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,743 Good morning, Tasha! 147 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,612 Girl... 148 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,980 You blondes sure are chipper in the morning. 149 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,149 Must be the peroxide. 150 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,250 What's that? 151 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,652 Well, I never properly 152 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,387 welcomed you and Malik to the neighborhood. 153 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,489 We've been here two years. 154 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,691 So... welcome! 155 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:01,328 Is this last year's ESPY basket, 156 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,731 missing most of last year's gifts? 157 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:04,565 Is it? 158 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,099 Anyhoo, it's the thought, right? 159 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,901 Can I have some coffee? 160 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:08,902 Mm-hmm. 161 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:14,041 Mm... This coffee is amazing. 162 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,043 Can I borrow $10,000? 163 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,879 Bitch, please! 164 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:23,417 I'll pay you back as soon as Jason gives me my allowance. 165 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,518 Allowance? 166 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,120 What girl over 12 gets an allowance? 167 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,122 It's more of a stipend. 168 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,123 Look, any way you say it, 169 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,160 that man has you one step away from a paper route. 170 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,596 A lot of women have to ask their husbands for money. 171 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,431 Yeah, but you ain't asking your husband. 172 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,166 You're over here asking me. 173 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,034 Eyeballing my cookie jar. 174 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,503 You know what? 175 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,705 Matter of fact... 176 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,545 Oh, oh, no. 177 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,614 Why are you afraid to ask Jason 178 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,849 for money you are rightfully entitled to? 179 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,618 You've been married seven years. 180 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,319 You pushed his child out for him. 181 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,421 That should be worth at least $10,000. 182 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:03,156 Look, you don't understand. 183 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,525 Jason's weird about money. 184 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,760 I mean, he wants us to have everything that we need, 185 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,261 but he doesn't want us to be like 186 00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,397 all the other bling-bling sports stars and their families, 187 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,666 with their plasma TVs and... 188 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:19,439 I'll never forget the first time Jason and I met. 189 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,609 It was his rookie season. 190 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,844 I was a Saberette. 191 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,847 The minute I saw him, I knew he was gonna be someone. 192 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:27,948 Mm. 193 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:31,685 First round draft pick with a $5 million signing bonus, 194 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,721 that's some leap of faith you made. 195 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,655 No. 196 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,657 Not just because he was some rich sports star, 197 00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:39,059 but because he was an amazing man. 198 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,162 It was the way he walked, with his head held high. 199 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:45,098 Of course, every girl wanted to be with him. 200 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,134 So I held back. 201 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,637 He asked me out. 202 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:52,039 You want to know where we went on our first date? 203 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,641 To the batting cage. 204 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,610 This is going somewhere, right? 205 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,945 It was great. 206 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,412 Except they couldn't find a helmet 207 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,514 big enough for Jason's head. 208 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,615 But he just laughed. 209 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,384 He didn't go off like some spoiled athlete. 210 00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,486 He may have a big head, 211 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,488 but he's not big-headed. 212 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,692 I knew then that I loved him. 213 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,562 I didn't care who he was or what he had. 214 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,964 And I wanted him to know that. 215 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,166 That's why I have trouble asking him for money. 216 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,670 I never want him to think that I'm just with him for the swag. 217 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,706 It's a beautiful story. 218 00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,909 But you ain't getting no mink coat out of me. 219 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,210 A mink coat? 220 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,046 What am I, Zsa Zsa Gabor? 221 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,015 I need it for Brittany's birthday party. 222 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,116 Brittany's birthday party? 223 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,953 He won't give you money for his own baby's birthday? 224 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:40,854 No. 225 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:44,024 Hell, even when I didn't have a dime to my name, 226 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,760 I spent nine cents of it on Malik's birthday, 227 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,196 so that at least one day out of the year, 228 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,397 my baby could feel special. 229 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,333 Now, the rest of the month, I had to stretch out that penny. 230 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,668 But... 231 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,604 we still had our memories. 232 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,006 So... are you gonna give me the money? 233 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,007 Hell no! 234 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,943 Girl, that was when I was broke, 235 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,312 and I didn't have no financial guidance. 236 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,015 Look, Kelly... 237 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,684 you don't just have money issues with this man, 238 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,020 you have issues with this man. 239 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,287 Now, you had the bold-ass nerve 240 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,590 to come over here and ask me for money. 241 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,925 You need to use that same gumption 242 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,927 to stand up to your man. 243 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,629 He's your husband. 244 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,496 He's not your king. 245 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,133 You can do it, Kel. 246 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,001 Just got to pick the right time. 247 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,871 -Oh, oh, oh, my God. -Mm-hmm. 248 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,239 Woman! 249 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,341 You're on a mission. 250 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,542 That was good, right? 251 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:36,944 It was real good. 252 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,349 So, about Brittany's birthday. 253 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,416 I was thinking, 254 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,919 if we lose the carriage, maybe skimp on the tiaras, 255 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,988 we can get the budget down to a measly 256 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,657 $4,999. 257 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,358 $5,000, Kelly? 258 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,526 No. 259 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,729 -$4,999. -Okeydokey. 260 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,200 -Where are you going? -I told you 261 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,601 five hundred bucks. 262 00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:02,903 I know, honey, I tried. 263 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,404 I can't do it for that. 264 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,572 Not the way Brittany wants it. 265 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,241 Brittany also wants to buy a house on Sesame Street. 266 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,910 Shall we call the broker? 267 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,445 Jason, she wants her friends to come to her party, 268 00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:13,814 and they won't because Kimmy Adler's 269 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,182 having her birthday the same day. 270 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,651 Which makes no sense because her real birthday is on Tuesday, 271 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,386 but she's having the Pussycat Dolls. 272 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,388 The Pussycat Dolls? 273 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,455 At a six-year-old's party? 274 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,124 What's she gonna want for her seventh birthday, 275 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,693 a boob job? 276 00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,060 We're the ones raising her 277 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,696 around all these rich kids. 278 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,397 Of course she's gonna want what they have. 279 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,665 Baby, she's five. 280 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,934 Exactly. She's too young to understand 281 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,803 why she can't have what everyone else has 282 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,337 even though we can afford it. 283 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,072 It's like we're taking her to an amusement park 284 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,108 and not letting her go on any of the rides. 285 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,911 Life is not an amusement park. 286 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,880 Our daughter is only gonna turn six once. 287 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,115 She wants to be a princess 288 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,217 and she wants her friends to be at her party. 289 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,552 Look, if her friends don't want to come to her party 290 00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:55,422 because she doesn't have a moat or the Pussycat Dolls 291 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,158 or a Botox stand, 292 00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,626 then they're not her real friends. 293 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:00,828 She'll learn a valuable lesson. 294 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,629 Why does she have to learn that lesson at six? 295 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,732 Why not? You know how easy it is to make friends at six? 296 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,767 You say, "Hi, I'll race you to the sandbox." 297 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:07,868 Boom, new best friend. 298 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,636 Great, so now I have to tell our daughter 299 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,905 that she can't have the birthday party that she wants. 300 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,140 She'll be crushed. 301 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:16,309 Oh, hold the drama, Meryl Streep. 302 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:17,510 Brit will be fine. She's gonna have 303 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,580 a ball no matter what we do for her birthday. 304 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,483 But I gave you world-class sex! 305 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,153 I know and I feel really used. 306 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,255 Oh! 307 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,257 (knocking on door) 308 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,894 -Who could that be at this hour? -(pounding on door) 309 00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,896 It's Malik. 310 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,631 It's 3:00 in the morning. 311 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,368 Just be quiet, we'll go back to bed, he'll go away. 312 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,170 MALIK: I can hear you. 313 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,104 Let me in. 314 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,605 No, don't open the door. 315 00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:46,740 Mel, he can hear us. 316 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:47,975 Derwin, no. 317 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,510 Oh, so y'all gonna treat a brother 318 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,913 like a Jehovah's Witness? 319 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,347 Shoot, I just came from the club, 320 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,482 Rook, and I'm feeling it. 321 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,649 This is Constance. 322 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,051 -Say hey, Constance. -Hey. 323 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,253 Come on, Rook. 324 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,588 Brush them crumbs out your eyes, boy. 325 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,123 -Let's do it. -Derwin. 326 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,657 (mouths): Come here. 327 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,692 Excuse me. 328 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:06,827 Oh, dude, don't knock yourself out 329 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,796 fixing me nothing, I ate. 330 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:12,232 I have class in three hours. 331 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,200 I know, baby, but... 332 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,668 Malik has been here every single night this week. 333 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,004 He's never going to beat you. 334 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,272 Yes, I am. I'm a winner, baby. 335 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,809 Sho' is. 336 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,316 What am I supposed to do? He's the quarterback. 337 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,583 I don't care. 338 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,786 Make him leave, now. 339 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,956 -I can't. -Okay. 340 00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,724 Well, if you can't, I will. 341 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,060 No, Melanie. I got this. 342 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,229 -Obviously, you don't. -Ooh. 343 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,364 I heard that. 344 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,966 Baby, why don't you go back to bed 345 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,200 and we'll talk about this in the morning. 346 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,236 No, we'll talk about this now. 347 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,303 He has to go. 348 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,305 You asking me or you telling me? 349 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:55,242 Dawg, she's definitely telling you. 350 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,444 Look, you didn't ask me 351 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,612 if he could come over every single night this week. 352 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,781 Oh, I didn't realize I needed permission to have 353 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,083 someone come over my own house. 354 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,318 Oh, you mean, our own house, right? 355 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,188 Come on, Rook, I ain't got all night. 356 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,923 Derwin, I'm sorry, but this isn't happening. 357 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,691 Oh, Melanie, I think it is. 358 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,460 Malik, let's play. 359 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:20,133 Do you mind if I heat up my chalupa? 360 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,872 I'm sorry I have to bail on the Sunbeam meeting, 361 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,339 but I've got class. 362 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,807 Someone with class wouldn't wear white 363 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,143 after Labor Day. 364 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,879 It's winter white. 365 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,014 And what are you so pissy about? 366 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,483 I'm sorry. It's not you. 367 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,985 It's just couple stuff. 368 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,586 Do you want to talk about it? 369 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:40,820 -Not really. -Good. 370 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,689 Because I'm so over Derwin. 371 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:43,991 What happened? Did he leave you 372 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,658 for that publicist girl of his? 373 00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:46,793 No, it's just like... 374 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,229 Wait, why would you say that? 375 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,099 I don't know. 376 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,533 So what's the problem? 377 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,103 I've learned to make compromises for Derwin's career, 378 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,305 but I'm not about to make them in my own house. 379 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,173 He has to learn it's not all about him. 380 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,275 They all need that seminar. 381 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,577 They're so selfish and narcissistic 382 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,947 and pigheaded and cheap. 383 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,149 -Are we still talking about Derwin? -Look... 384 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,919 just remember, everything you do in your relationship now 385 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,054 is the blueprint for the rest of your lives. 386 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,422 Start like you want to finish. 387 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,657 Now I know we're not talking about Derwin. 388 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,326 Dish. 389 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:21,394 No, you have class. 390 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:22,930 If I had class, I wouldn't be pulling out 391 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,531 this wine cork with my teeth. 392 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,334 Now, spill it. 393 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,206 -(crying) -Don't cry, sweetie. 394 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,942 It's gonna be all right. 395 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,609 Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's up, Brit Brat? 396 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:37,544 Why all the tears? 397 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,812 She's upset because most of her friends 398 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,281 don't want to come to her party. 399 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,550 They want to see the Pussycat Dolls. 400 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:44,751 (crying) 401 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,154 But, baby, you have to realize 402 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,422 that those kids aren't your real friends. 403 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,492 And your real friends like Lilly and Aubrey are coming. 404 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,961 We're gonna have 405 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,296 sheet cake, silly string 406 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,299 and a piñata that Mommy's making herself. 407 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,368 A piñata? 408 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:02,502 I don't want 409 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,038 a stupid piñata party. 410 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,474 All right, come here. 411 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,342 Come here, come here, Brit Brat. 412 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,245 Now, Brit Brat, who are we? 413 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,981 -We're Pitts. -And what are Pitts? 414 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,115 Pitts are proud. 415 00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,783 That's right and we don't cry 416 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,585 just 'cause some jokers don't want to come to our parties. 417 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:19,652 Do we care about those fools? 418 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:20,920 -No. -All better now? 419 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,189 (crying): No. 420 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,925 Okay. Okay, okay, shh. You know what? 421 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:28,195 Daddy has an idea. 422 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,130 Forget the sheet cake and the stupid piñata. 423 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,665 How about we take 424 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,002 your bestest friends in the whole wide world 425 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,437 to Disneyland 426 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,872 for a real princess party? 427 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,874 -No way. -Way. 428 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,343 Can I bring Lilly and Aubrey? 429 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,446 You can bring whoever you think is bestest. 430 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,615 I'm gonna go call them right now. 431 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:49,882 I love you, Dad. 432 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,085 Oh, I love you, too, Brit Brat. 433 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,089 (closes cabinet loudly) 434 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,092 (silverware clatters in drawer) 435 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,764 Is there a problem? 436 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,233 -(silverware clatters) -No. 437 00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:10,170 There's no problem. 438 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:12,105 You just rode in on your white horse 439 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,540 and saved the day. 440 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,442 Good for you, you're using comped tickets 441 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,976 to take your daughter to Disneyland. 442 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,246 After I had to beg, 443 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,848 borrow and steal all week. 444 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,052 As usual, Mommy's the ass who can't do anything. 445 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,719 What is your problem? 446 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,321 I thought you wanted me to do something special. 447 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,558 Please! They sponsor you, Jason. 448 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,326 That's like the time you gave me a Black and Decker 449 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,195 gift basket for my birthday. 450 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,797 That's not special, that's convenient. 451 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,332 So wait, 452 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,135 are we talking about Brittany or are we talking about you? 453 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,807 We're talking about you being a dictator in this household. 454 00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,442 Oh, now I'm a dictator? 455 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,810 For wanting to make my daughter happy? 456 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,279 That's... that's rich. 457 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,946 No, you're a dictator 458 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,348 because you made the decision alone. 459 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,185 No, it wasn't a decision. It was a proclamation, 460 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,719 an edict, an order. 461 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,988 It would've been nice if you'd come to me 462 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,890 and offered Disneyland as an option. 463 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,258 You already had your mind set on some over-the-top 464 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,626 princess party. You didn't... 465 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,161 you-you weren't open to anything else. 466 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,329 How do you know that? 467 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,131 Did you ask me? No. 468 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,599 You never ask me; you tell me. 469 00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:16,368 I get it, Jason. You're the king. 470 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,142 (door closes) 471 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,279 Ooh, you're running out of time, Rook. 472 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,047 You're 'bout to go down, boy. 473 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,918 Hey, Girl Melanie. How was your day? 474 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,720 I'm doing this for us, Derwin. 475 00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,223 I want us to start like we want to finish. 476 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,057 No! 477 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,159 What in the...? 478 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,560 I was just about to win. 479 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:43,196 Man, there were five seconds left, okay, you won. 480 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,464 No, I didn't. 481 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:45,632 You don't give me nothing, Rook. 482 00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,134 Now fire it up, we gotta go again. 483 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,836 -Uh-uh, no, Malik... -Melanie, I got this. 484 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,372 Woo, that's right, Rookie. Handle your business. 485 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,342 And I'm about to. 486 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,077 Dawgs, you gots to bounce. 487 00:17:58,978 --> 00:17:59,912 (laughing) 488 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,414 That's funny, Rookie. 489 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,283 -Plug it back in. -No, Malik. 490 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,185 No matter how many times we play, man, 491 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,719 you are never gonna win. 492 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:10,223 Boy, I was just about to grease you. 493 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,225 No, I was about to let you grease me 494 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,527 to get you up out of my house. 495 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,628 I mean, oh... 496 00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,031 Our house. 497 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,001 Aww, look at the rookie. 498 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,137 Standing up for himself. 499 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,040 And Girl Melanie, standing there looking 500 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,376 at your man like he's all that. 501 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,478 But he ain't. 502 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,447 He's still a rookie. 503 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,583 One who's got to bring my TV back tomorrow. 504 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,186 But don't come before 10:00. 505 00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,388 Or after 10:01. 506 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,323 Mm-mmm, I think I'm feeling like 507 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:44,924 some breakfast crepes tomorrow. Oh... 508 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,126 and some chicken sausage. 509 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,566 Hey, Boo. 510 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,336 Now your man just handled business. 511 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,737 Can I at least get a kiss? 512 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,071 Double-lock that door 513 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,973 and you'll get more than a kiss. 514 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,176 Oh... 515 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,079 Gonna do that thang. Gonna do that thang. 516 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,216 Ah, she's gonna love it, man. 517 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,284 Thanks. Peace. 518 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,286 Yes. Yes. 519 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,354 Hey, Brittany! 520 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,955 Can you come down here for a minute? 521 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:16,956 Kelly, Kel, 522 00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,825 guess what? Not only 523 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,494 are Brit and her friends gonna have Cinderella, 524 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:25,298 i.e., the most famous princess in the world at her party, 525 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,834 they are also going to ride on her float 526 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,737 in the big parade. Ta-da! 527 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:36,576 I said, "Ta-da." 528 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:39,546 That's great, Jason. 529 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,913 I'm sure she'll really love it. 530 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,382 Come on, Kel. 531 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,517 -I'm trying here. -I know. 532 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,387 -And I'm sure she'll really appreciate it. -Baby. 533 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,722 -What do you want, Dad? -Brit Brat, 534 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,591 guess what? 535 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,493 What? 536 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,596 Mommy has a surprise for you. 537 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,735 What, Mommy, what? 538 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,637 What's the surprise? I'm dying here. 539 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,312 Guess what your daddy did? 540 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,482 He called Cinderella and she wants 541 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,350 you, Lilly and Aubrey 542 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,151 to ride on her float. 543 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,854 And then when you're on top of the float, 544 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,492 you can wave to Mommy and Daddy and all your subjects.