1 00:00:04,923 --> 00:00:08,203 More young people are in the care system than ever before. 2 00:00:09,923 --> 00:00:12,763 But they're rarely seen, and rarely heard. 3 00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:16,523 The series wants to change that. 4 00:00:16,563 --> 00:00:18,643 MUSIC: A Hero's Death by Fontaines DC 5 00:00:18,683 --> 00:00:21,003 # Never let a clock tell you what you got time for 6 00:00:21,043 --> 00:00:23,363 # It only goes around, goes around, goes around 7 00:00:23,403 --> 00:00:25,683 # Take your family name for your own great sins 8 00:00:25,723 --> 00:00:29,123 # Cos each day is where it all begins and 9 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,363 # Don't give up too quick 10 00:00:30,403 --> 00:00:32,723 # You only get one line, you better make it stick 11 00:00:32,763 --> 00:00:35,083 # If we give ourselves to every breath 12 00:00:35,123 --> 00:00:37,763 # Then we're all in the running for a hero's death... # 13 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,243 What do you fancy this week, sir? 14 00:00:44,283 --> 00:00:46,403 So, bolognese for sure. I love bolognese. 15 00:00:46,443 --> 00:00:48,443 Right, do we need any gravy? 16 00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:49,843 I've got some. 17 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,883 Think about how much money you've got per week to spend, 18 00:00:52,923 --> 00:00:54,643 to make sure it'll last you. 19 00:00:54,683 --> 00:00:57,283 Or you can always get something cheaper... 20 00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:58,643 Those ones are easy, yeah. 21 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:01,003 ..but then, you can just add some cheese... Exactly. 22 00:01:01,043 --> 00:01:03,763 And some Chinese. Sweet and sour chicken! With pineapple! 23 00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:05,203 79p! 24 00:01:05,243 --> 00:01:06,563 Whoo! 25 00:01:08,683 --> 00:01:10,483 Sorry! SHE LAUGHS 26 00:01:11,883 --> 00:01:14,243 Do you feel parental towards her? 27 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,323 I do, actually, because, you know, 28 00:01:16,363 --> 00:01:20,403 even though I'm not her mum, biological mum, 29 00:01:20,443 --> 00:01:22,083 I'm still corporate parent. 30 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:24,643 So, I feel that I am responsible for her, 31 00:01:24,683 --> 00:01:28,203 as I would be responsible for my own child. 32 00:01:28,243 --> 00:01:30,323 Right. There we are. 33 00:01:30,363 --> 00:01:31,803 Let's put that away. 34 00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:35,843 Since she came into care three years ago, 35 00:01:35,883 --> 00:01:38,683 Havana has lived with a host of different foster carers. 36 00:01:40,763 --> 00:01:44,323 But with the support of a specialist housing programme and social worker, 37 00:01:44,363 --> 00:01:48,003 Aga, she's just moved into her first flat. 38 00:01:48,043 --> 00:01:50,763 How old are you? 16. 39 00:01:50,803 --> 00:01:52,323 And this is your...? 40 00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:55,083 This is my own flat. Yeah. 41 00:01:55,123 --> 00:01:57,083 Welcome! 42 00:01:57,123 --> 00:01:58,923 Wow, so you live here alone? 43 00:01:58,963 --> 00:02:00,643 Yes. All by myself. 44 00:02:00,683 --> 00:02:02,923 Do you feel ready to have a tenancy of your own? Yeah. 45 00:02:02,963 --> 00:02:06,443 I mean, I think, like, growing up in, like, in the system, 46 00:02:06,483 --> 00:02:09,243 or growing up in my situation, I've always had to, like, 47 00:02:09,283 --> 00:02:10,883 be quite mature for my age. 48 00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:13,443 That's amazing. You do seem really mature. 49 00:02:13,483 --> 00:02:16,563 I think of myself at 16 - I could barely find my way to bed... 50 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,283 SHE LAUGHS ..let alone have a tenancy. 51 00:02:26,843 --> 00:02:29,443 This is the day I went into foster care. 52 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,243 Yeah, look, November 5th, 2018. 53 00:02:33,683 --> 00:02:35,443 7am in the morning. 54 00:02:35,483 --> 00:02:38,763 How many placements did you have before you got this... 55 00:02:38,803 --> 00:02:40,163 You moved here? 56 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:42,963 Oh, I must've had six placements. 57 00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:45,403 Six in, what, three years? 58 00:02:45,443 --> 00:02:49,163 Yeah, about three-and-a-half years. Six different placements. 59 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:53,163 And when you went to your first placement, did you hope that 60 00:02:53,203 --> 00:02:55,243 that would be where you'd stay forever? 61 00:02:55,283 --> 00:02:57,123 That'd be the family you'd be with? 62 00:02:57,163 --> 00:02:59,003 Yeah, I mean, 100%. 63 00:02:59,043 --> 00:03:01,803 I was hoping that I'd be part of this family. 64 00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:04,203 And, you know, it... 65 00:03:04,243 --> 00:03:05,723 It just wasn't that, 66 00:03:05,763 --> 00:03:08,283 it wasn't all that I'd dreamt it to be. 67 00:03:12,003 --> 00:03:14,483 You know, even though I didn't find my forever family, 68 00:03:14,523 --> 00:03:17,203 it's like I'm still looking for that, you know? 69 00:03:17,243 --> 00:03:20,443 And I always will be looking for that, because everyone needs 70 00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:24,723 a family or people around them, at least, to support as a family. 71 00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:25,763 Yeah. 72 00:03:35,323 --> 00:03:36,923 Do you know this one? The... 73 00:03:36,963 --> 00:03:39,763 PIANO: Well-Tempered Clavier by Johann Sebastian Bach 74 00:03:41,523 --> 00:03:43,603 I can just play it really fast, which is... 75 00:03:43,643 --> 00:03:46,123 PLAYS PIANO FASTER ..a cool thing I can do. 76 00:03:51,923 --> 00:03:53,963 Oh, no. 77 00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:56,283 Havana no longer sees her mum, 78 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,363 and has never known her dad. 79 00:03:58,403 --> 00:04:02,603 But as she turns 16, she has questions she wants answered. 80 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,923 So, like, obviously, I've never really known my dad. 81 00:04:05,963 --> 00:04:09,843 And, like, Mum doesn't know anything about him, really, 82 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,843 I don't think, and I obviously don't know anything about him. 83 00:04:12,883 --> 00:04:14,803 I don't know if social services would, 84 00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:17,403 cos he left before I was born. 85 00:04:17,443 --> 00:04:20,563 But, yeah, I was just like wondering if, like, I didn't know if, 86 00:04:20,603 --> 00:04:23,643 like, there was anything in my files or anything about my dad, 87 00:04:23,683 --> 00:04:27,123 or if, like, there's anyway you could help me find him in a way, 88 00:04:27,163 --> 00:04:29,843 or at least a picture of him or anything? 89 00:04:29,883 --> 00:04:35,123 OK. So, we can explore what kind of services are available. 90 00:04:35,163 --> 00:04:38,883 So, we might not have all the answers at this point, 91 00:04:38,923 --> 00:04:44,763 but we can try to support to help you find the family if possible. 92 00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:47,083 We can put that as a plan. 93 00:04:51,123 --> 00:04:52,763 Like, I'd love to know him. 94 00:04:52,803 --> 00:04:55,683 Like, if possible, I'd love to know him and meet 95 00:04:55,723 --> 00:04:58,323 that side of the family. 96 00:04:58,363 --> 00:05:02,083 But, even if that wasn't possible, like, I could just see myself just 97 00:05:02,123 --> 00:05:05,043 at least looking at a picture and him knowing that I'm here, 98 00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:07,403 and him accepting that I'm here. 99 00:05:07,443 --> 00:05:10,323 Even if he goes, "I'm not ready to meet you now," 100 00:05:10,363 --> 00:05:13,083 "but it's lovely to know that you wanted to know me," 101 00:05:13,123 --> 00:05:16,923 even that alone would be, like, such a lovely feeling. 102 00:05:16,963 --> 00:05:18,763 Sorry... 103 00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:21,243 But it'd just be quiet... 104 00:05:21,283 --> 00:05:24,243 You know, it's like someone finally accepting you, 105 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,763 that you didn't think would ever accept you. 106 00:05:26,803 --> 00:05:30,043 It's quite a lot of strong feeling, but, yeah. 107 00:05:32,443 --> 00:05:35,603 Oh, I'm so silly. I'm so sorry. 108 00:05:35,643 --> 00:05:37,403 But, yeah. Probably got mascara... 109 00:05:37,443 --> 00:05:39,763 I've got panda eyes! SHE LAUGHS 110 00:05:39,803 --> 00:05:41,763 Oh, but, yeah, for sure. 111 00:05:41,803 --> 00:05:45,923 It's just that dream of having that feeling, for sure, yeah. 112 00:05:54,403 --> 00:05:57,123 Since she was a child, 113 00:05:57,163 --> 00:06:01,363 she only knew one part of the family. 114 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,723 She just knew her mum? 115 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,923 And she knows that as she's getting older, 116 00:06:05,963 --> 00:06:08,803 she wants to know more about herself. 117 00:06:08,843 --> 00:06:10,443 And what is the risk? 118 00:06:10,483 --> 00:06:12,683 I think rejection. 119 00:06:12,723 --> 00:06:17,243 What if they've got a different view? 120 00:06:17,283 --> 00:06:18,883 I think that's the risk. 121 00:06:23,803 --> 00:06:27,163 # Pink when you're blushing inside 122 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,523 # Baby 123 00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:31,923 # Pink is the truth you can't hide 124 00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:33,163 # Maybe 125 00:06:33,203 --> 00:06:36,643 # Pink like the folds of your brain 126 00:06:36,683 --> 00:06:38,043 # Crazy 127 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:41,683 # Pink as we all go insane... # 128 00:06:41,723 --> 00:06:47,403 So, I've got...a meat feast pizza. 129 00:06:48,643 --> 00:06:50,803 Oh, I've got some veg. 130 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,803 That's quite solid. 131 00:06:52,843 --> 00:06:55,043 Just a few weeks into her tenancy, 132 00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:57,603 and Havana has her first dinner guest - 133 00:06:57,643 --> 00:06:59,643 lifelong friend, Beth. 134 00:07:00,683 --> 00:07:02,043 PHONE BEEPS 135 00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:03,283 Hello? 136 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,243 Hello, hello, hello! Let me let you in. 137 00:07:06,723 --> 00:07:08,123 What's the password? 138 00:07:08,163 --> 00:07:09,643 SHE LAUGHS 139 00:07:09,683 --> 00:07:12,003 What's the password? 140 00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,243 What is it? Erm, it's... 141 00:07:16,243 --> 00:07:17,643 It's... 142 00:07:19,163 --> 00:07:20,603 Come on, you got this. Let me. 143 00:07:20,643 --> 00:07:23,163 "Let me in, please." OK, that's good enough. 144 00:07:23,203 --> 00:07:25,763 I don't think you would've been able... Oh. 145 00:07:25,803 --> 00:07:28,483 Hello, hello, hello! Hello, hello! 146 00:07:28,523 --> 00:07:29,963 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bum! 147 00:07:30,003 --> 00:07:31,843 What?! 148 00:07:31,883 --> 00:07:33,283 I'm doing us pizza, if that's OK. 149 00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:34,923 Hello, Beth, I'm Paddy. 150 00:07:34,963 --> 00:07:36,243 I-I'm Beth. 151 00:07:36,283 --> 00:07:39,003 Oh, yeah! Paddy and Jack. SHE GIGGLES 152 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:42,843 Oh, my gosh, yeah, so I'm doing us pizza, if that's all right. 153 00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:44,563 I love pizza. Awesome. Right. 154 00:07:44,603 --> 00:07:46,243 While that boils... 155 00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:47,443 Isn't it bonkers, though? 156 00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:49,843 It's like, you can do anything you want. 157 00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:53,323 Right, the first thing we did when we came here is... 158 00:07:54,963 --> 00:07:57,963 ..we both sat on the counter, didn't we - if I can get up... 159 00:07:58,003 --> 00:08:00,523 With our legs there. This wasn't here, so our legs were there, 160 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,203 kicking each other. 161 00:08:02,243 --> 00:08:04,483 So, that was the first thing we did, and we were like, 162 00:08:04,523 --> 00:08:07,403 "No-one can tell us we can't sit on the counters any more!" 163 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,163 We were buzzing. 164 00:08:09,203 --> 00:08:11,283 Can you describe Havana to me? 165 00:08:11,323 --> 00:08:14,323 She's so loud. So loud. 166 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:18,243 Like, you can always hear her before you can see her. 167 00:08:18,283 --> 00:08:19,763 What's going on with these photos? 168 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:22,803 What's happening here? I do drag! 169 00:08:22,843 --> 00:08:25,123 Mrs Gina Tonic! She's a missus. 170 00:08:25,163 --> 00:08:27,123 Can women do drag, then, is that a... 171 00:08:27,163 --> 00:08:28,243 That's a thing, is it? 172 00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:32,843 Yes, so, an AFAB queen, which is "assigned female at birth". 173 00:08:32,883 --> 00:08:36,163 A lot of people think, like, just gay men can do drag, 174 00:08:36,203 --> 00:08:39,203 which is not the case, cos I've gone through, like, 175 00:08:39,243 --> 00:08:44,163 from being bi...bisexual to pansexual, to straight, 176 00:08:44,203 --> 00:08:46,043 thinking straight again. 177 00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:51,523 And now I'm a...unlabelled, which is this flag here. 178 00:08:51,563 --> 00:08:53,803 You're what? What's this? Erm, unlabelled. 179 00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:57,363 So, I just don't have a label on who I like, or who I love. 180 00:08:57,403 --> 00:09:00,043 It's just, if I like the person, I'll like the person. 181 00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:01,683 Just go with it. Yeah. 182 00:09:01,723 --> 00:09:03,243 Go with the flow. Yeah. 183 00:09:03,283 --> 00:09:06,083 # You were riding your bike 184 00:09:06,123 --> 00:09:09,363 # To the sound of "It's no big deal"... 185 00:09:09,403 --> 00:09:12,483 We were in Year Six, and we just met there, 186 00:09:12,523 --> 00:09:14,843 and we've been friends since. 187 00:09:14,883 --> 00:09:18,523 We've had a lot of bumps, cos our personalities are so different. 188 00:09:20,523 --> 00:09:24,203 # And nothing about the way you were treated 189 00:09:24,243 --> 00:09:26,403 # Was especially alarming till now 190 00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:32,083 # So you tie back your hair and you smile like 191 00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:35,323 # It's no big deal 192 00:09:36,523 --> 00:09:38,483 # You can let it go 193 00:09:38,523 --> 00:09:42,443 # You can throw a party filled with everyone you know 194 00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:46,603 # And not invite your family cos they never showed your love 195 00:09:46,643 --> 00:09:48,963 # And you don't have to be sorry 196 00:09:49,003 --> 00:09:52,243 # For leaving and growing up... # 197 00:09:54,403 --> 00:09:57,403 I already know that. I don't know the rest of it yet. 198 00:09:57,443 --> 00:09:59,643 I can't remember it, but it goes... 199 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:04,563 How often has a child said to you that they want to go into care? 200 00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,843 I can tell you exactly. It's three times. 201 00:10:06,883 --> 00:10:10,163 So, it's very rare? Very, very rare. 202 00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:13,603 They more often than not want to stay with their parents, 203 00:10:13,643 --> 00:10:17,643 or in their own home where they feel that it's familiar. 204 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,363 Havana was very clearly saying she needed to be away 205 00:10:20,403 --> 00:10:22,323 from her home situation. 206 00:10:22,363 --> 00:10:24,163 She needed to be in foster care. 207 00:10:27,363 --> 00:10:29,683 Can you tell me about the day when she actually asked 208 00:10:29,723 --> 00:10:30,883 to be put into care? 209 00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:34,083 I was her social worker at the time, 210 00:10:34,123 --> 00:10:38,123 and things were really starting to get quite bad for Havana at home. 211 00:10:38,163 --> 00:10:41,363 There was a lot of abuse being masked. 212 00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:46,683 The sort of abuse that I recall Havana telling me about later 213 00:10:46,723 --> 00:10:48,643 was physical abuse, emotional abuse. 214 00:10:50,043 --> 00:10:54,403 And, as such, it did take quite a long time to actually get to know 215 00:10:54,443 --> 00:10:56,723 the Havana below the surface. 216 00:10:57,963 --> 00:10:59,243 Oh, my gosh. 217 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:03,123 OK, so this is a picture from Year Seven. 218 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,763 I would've been about 11 or 12. 219 00:11:04,803 --> 00:11:08,523 So that was before you went into care? Yeah. 220 00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:10,883 This was like... 221 00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:13,243 ..peak of the abuse, actually. 222 00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:15,603 I'm surprised you can't see any bruises or anything 223 00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:16,763 in that picture alone. 224 00:11:21,003 --> 00:11:23,563 Did she confide in you little things about what was going on 225 00:11:23,603 --> 00:11:25,643 for her at home? Yeah. 226 00:11:27,363 --> 00:11:30,723 She just told me that it's not nice at home and stuff, 227 00:11:30,763 --> 00:11:33,363 and she didn't want to be there. 228 00:11:33,403 --> 00:11:36,083 It always felt like a mission to get her out of there. 229 00:11:38,563 --> 00:11:41,683 I was like, "What am I going to do?" 230 00:11:41,723 --> 00:11:45,163 Bethany was the only person that knew what was going on at home. 231 00:11:46,683 --> 00:11:50,203 She saw what I'd been through that no-one else has seen. 232 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,643 We were literally sat in the back of our classroom and she told me, 233 00:11:56,683 --> 00:12:00,683 and then, yeah, I just told her she has to tell them, or I will. 234 00:12:00,723 --> 00:12:03,283 You have, like, a couple more hours, or I'm going. 235 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,083 Then she ended up going. 236 00:12:07,163 --> 00:12:09,763 My drama teacher went over to her, 237 00:12:09,803 --> 00:12:12,043 and I just burst into tears, and she was like, 238 00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,123 "What's wrong? What's wrong?" 239 00:12:14,163 --> 00:12:16,003 And then, I started listing things, 240 00:12:16,043 --> 00:12:19,523 and she grabbed my wrist and took me to the safeguarding lead. 241 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,283 The day that I knew there was the court case, 242 00:12:26,323 --> 00:12:29,803 I went and checked the safeguarding lead office at lunchtime, 243 00:12:29,843 --> 00:12:31,923 break time, before and after school. 244 00:12:31,963 --> 00:12:34,323 And what happened? 245 00:12:35,563 --> 00:12:39,363 She came out and she was, like, "They found you a foster family, 246 00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:42,003 "social worker'll be here at this time." 247 00:12:42,043 --> 00:12:44,763 My friends were just hugging me and I was like breaking down, 248 00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:46,083 like, in happiness. 249 00:12:46,123 --> 00:12:49,483 # It's like looking in the mirror... 250 00:12:49,523 --> 00:12:52,203 And I felt free as anything, you know? 251 00:12:55,363 --> 00:12:56,843 Yeah. 252 00:12:56,883 --> 00:12:59,483 # I am a woman 253 00:12:59,523 --> 00:13:03,563 # And that's perfect to me... # 254 00:13:51,323 --> 00:13:54,163 I just can see, you know, I can see, like, you looked after us 255 00:13:54,203 --> 00:13:55,523 really well, and... Yeah. 256 00:13:55,563 --> 00:13:58,443 Is that you there? Yeah, that's me, yeah. 257 00:13:58,483 --> 00:14:01,043 He loved playing in the garden in the summer. 258 00:14:02,563 --> 00:14:04,803 After 13 years in care, 259 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:09,003 Kane has recently moved back to Coventry to live near his mum. 260 00:14:09,043 --> 00:14:11,683 When he was just four, his dad went to prison following 261 00:14:11,723 --> 00:14:13,923 a violent incident in the home. 262 00:14:13,963 --> 00:14:15,163 Kane's dad... 263 00:14:16,243 --> 00:14:17,683 ..what was it that happened? 264 00:14:18,963 --> 00:14:20,603 Er... 265 00:14:20,643 --> 00:14:21,883 You know, you can say it. 266 00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:24,923 I know you get upset when... No, it's all right. 267 00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:28,083 Erm...we'd had a disagreement. 268 00:14:28,123 --> 00:14:32,123 And I was telling him to get out, "Get out." 269 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:36,123 And the next minute, he took all the keys off me and the phones, 270 00:14:36,163 --> 00:14:37,603 and wouldn't let me out. 271 00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:41,403 But as soon as I got out, that's when the police come, 272 00:14:41,443 --> 00:14:42,763 and then, he did a runner. 273 00:14:42,803 --> 00:14:44,283 He went on the run. 274 00:14:44,323 --> 00:14:46,843 That one mistake he made, like, you didn't mean to... 275 00:14:46,883 --> 00:14:49,563 Then he got sent to prison. 276 00:14:49,603 --> 00:14:52,523 And then, he was deported back to Africa. 277 00:14:52,563 --> 00:14:54,203 But it was two years later, 278 00:14:54,243 --> 00:14:56,723 when Kane's mum was in a new relationship, 279 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,643 that the children were eventually removed from the home. 280 00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:04,403 Why were the kids taken into care, can I ask? 281 00:15:04,443 --> 00:15:07,763 What happened was I met his stepdad, 282 00:15:07,803 --> 00:15:11,603 and he was very abusive to me. 283 00:15:11,643 --> 00:15:17,963 And what happened was I went into hospital to have the twins, 284 00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:23,803 and left you at home with this man, your stepdad. 285 00:15:23,843 --> 00:15:27,803 And that's when you were taken into care, because I shouldn't have... 286 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,883 Because you basically were giving birth, 287 00:15:30,923 --> 00:15:33,243 and you couldn't, you... Well... See, that... 288 00:15:33,283 --> 00:15:34,523 HE SIGHS 289 00:15:34,563 --> 00:15:36,283 That doesn't make sense, you know? 290 00:15:36,323 --> 00:15:39,443 But how - why I left you there was because I didn't want 291 00:15:39,483 --> 00:15:41,443 to take you out of your routine. 292 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,283 But that was their reason for taking you, 293 00:15:44,323 --> 00:15:46,443 because of me leaving you. 294 00:15:50,323 --> 00:15:51,603 No hesitation. 295 00:15:53,763 --> 00:15:57,003 Do you remember the day that you went into care? 296 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,163 I do, yeah, surprisingly. 297 00:15:59,203 --> 00:16:02,403 I know it was quite a long time ago, but, yeah, I do, actually. 298 00:16:02,443 --> 00:16:05,443 I was sitting in my classroom, old school, and everyone else was 299 00:16:05,483 --> 00:16:07,163 getting picked up by the parents. 300 00:16:08,603 --> 00:16:11,483 And I was just sitting there wondering, "Where's my mum?" 301 00:16:13,763 --> 00:16:16,043 So, then, I just spoke to the teacher. 302 00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:18,163 I asked her, "Why isn't she picking me up?" 303 00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:22,163 She was like, "Oh, we're just going to take you out to the office." 304 00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:25,163 Bear in mind, I'm six years old, so I was a bit confused, like, 305 00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:28,003 "Well, no, no, my mum. Where is she?" 306 00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:33,163 The only thing I really remember is... 307 00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:34,763 ..them taking me to the carers, 308 00:16:34,803 --> 00:16:36,883 and the rest of it's just blank after that. 309 00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:42,683 Like, even to this day, like, 13 years later, I still don't know 310 00:16:42,723 --> 00:16:45,843 the real reason why I got taken from my mum, or into care, 311 00:16:45,883 --> 00:16:47,443 or whatever you want to call it. 312 00:16:59,043 --> 00:17:02,483 Like Havana, Kane is now trying to make sense of his past. 313 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:07,043 He has three differing accounts of what happened to him - 314 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:10,923 his mum's, the social workers', and his own memories. 315 00:17:37,963 --> 00:17:40,483 Oh, God. 316 00:17:40,523 --> 00:17:42,643 You all right? Yeah, yeah, it's hard. 317 00:17:42,683 --> 00:17:43,963 It really is hard. 318 00:17:44,003 --> 00:17:45,203 HE SIGHS 319 00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:58,203 If you don't feel a sense of how you've come into care, 320 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,803 there would be huge questions about why. 321 00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:05,043 "Why wasn't I able to stay with my family? 322 00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:07,243 "What was it that social care saw?" 323 00:18:08,443 --> 00:18:12,123 For me, it seems like he is struggling to find his place. 324 00:18:14,763 --> 00:18:18,803 In terms of fitting into society, feeling a sense of belonging, 325 00:18:18,843 --> 00:18:22,323 I think that's the bit that still is tricky for him. 326 00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:29,003 To try and find answers, 327 00:18:29,043 --> 00:18:31,563 Kane is asking Children's Services for help. 328 00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:36,083 He's requesting access to his case files. 329 00:18:36,123 --> 00:18:38,523 So, what would we go through? 330 00:18:38,563 --> 00:18:42,243 So, mainly about why I was put into care. 331 00:18:42,283 --> 00:18:44,403 So, I know a little bit about what... 332 00:18:44,443 --> 00:18:46,643 I know, like, the - what's it called - the brief. 333 00:18:46,683 --> 00:18:49,723 Yeah. I don't know, like, all of it yet, if you know what I mean? 334 00:18:49,763 --> 00:18:51,243 So, the reasons... 335 00:18:51,283 --> 00:18:53,363 The actual reason why, because people tell - 336 00:18:53,403 --> 00:18:55,683 I've been told about 50 million - 50 different stories. 337 00:18:55,723 --> 00:18:57,403 Like, I can't keep up. Right. 338 00:18:57,443 --> 00:19:00,203 And they're not really the same? No. 339 00:19:00,243 --> 00:19:04,763 You can see that she looked after us on these DVDs 340 00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:07,483 I watched at home, like, if my mum was such a bad person, 341 00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:10,403 why would she bother... Why wouldn't she cut contact? 342 00:19:10,443 --> 00:19:12,283 Why am I still speaking to her now? OK. 343 00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:17,723 Kane will have to wait several months to receive his files. 344 00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:22,283 But there's been a development in Havana's case. 345 00:19:24,523 --> 00:19:26,843 The service has tracked down her birth father. 346 00:19:29,843 --> 00:19:32,043 AGA: Dad has been contacted. 347 00:19:33,283 --> 00:19:36,683 However, he was quite reluctant to come forward. 348 00:19:37,803 --> 00:19:40,803 I see, so Dad doesn't want to come forward? 349 00:19:40,843 --> 00:19:43,923 I think, not at this point. OK. 350 00:19:43,963 --> 00:19:48,123 But we've got news, and great for Havana - 351 00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:52,363 a potential member of the family came forward and agreed 352 00:19:52,403 --> 00:19:55,763 to complete DNA tests. 353 00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:57,243 OK. 354 00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:58,923 Why the DNA test? 355 00:19:58,963 --> 00:20:02,883 To make sure that that family, that part of the family 356 00:20:02,923 --> 00:20:04,403 is related to Havana. 357 00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:10,203 Now that they have a DNA sample from a relative of the father, 358 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,523 all they need to complete the picture 359 00:20:12,563 --> 00:20:14,403 is DNA from Havana's mum. 360 00:20:18,123 --> 00:20:20,923 Aga is trying to get that sample from her today. 361 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,203 It's a big moment for Havana, definitely. 362 00:20:25,243 --> 00:20:27,683 What do you want for Havana? What are your hopes? 363 00:20:27,723 --> 00:20:31,683 I really want her to have that sense of identity. 364 00:20:31,723 --> 00:20:37,203 And I really do hope that she will get the answers to her questions. 365 00:20:37,243 --> 00:20:42,483 And her family can actually see how great a person she is. 366 00:20:42,523 --> 00:20:44,283 Because she's our little star. 367 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,523 HAVANA GIGGLES 368 00:21:14,043 --> 00:21:15,723 Whoo! 369 00:21:15,763 --> 00:21:16,763 HAVANA LAUGHS 370 00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:19,083 What're you doing? I'm not holding your hand. 371 00:21:20,883 --> 00:21:23,763 It's one of those, as well, like, imagine meeting your dad 372 00:21:23,803 --> 00:21:26,323 that you've never met, and like, 373 00:21:26,363 --> 00:21:29,883 what if, you know, he doesn't like who I am, and stuff like that? 374 00:21:29,923 --> 00:21:31,523 Or he just doesn't want to see me? 375 00:21:31,563 --> 00:21:34,283 It's one of those - if he doesn't want to see me, then fair play. 376 00:21:34,323 --> 00:21:37,283 You know, he has nothing to do with me. It's not like... 377 00:21:37,323 --> 00:21:38,563 It's not like you've met him. 378 00:21:38,603 --> 00:21:41,043 It's not like I can take it personally, cos he doesn't know me. 379 00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:43,163 But even if he did know me, and then, suddenly said, 380 00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:44,603 "I don't think we could do this," 381 00:21:44,643 --> 00:21:46,963 I feel like that'd be quite breaking, you know? 382 00:21:55,123 --> 00:21:57,523 Seeing other children, like, go home with their dads 383 00:21:57,563 --> 00:21:59,523 or being around their dads, it was like, 384 00:21:59,563 --> 00:22:02,723 I wish I had that kind of experience. 385 00:22:02,763 --> 00:22:05,883 And it would've just been nice to have that other person that was, 386 00:22:05,923 --> 00:22:07,603 like, somewhat on my side with me. 387 00:22:09,363 --> 00:22:11,643 Growing up, I needed support. 388 00:22:11,683 --> 00:22:14,323 Everyone needs support at some point in their life, you know, say, 389 00:22:14,363 --> 00:22:16,923 for example, I was struggling with money now, yeah, 390 00:22:16,963 --> 00:22:19,883 the social care could help, but they're not there forever. 391 00:22:23,283 --> 00:22:28,243 I can't imagine not knowing one of my parents. 392 00:22:28,283 --> 00:22:30,483 It would feel as if part of me was missing. 393 00:22:32,523 --> 00:22:35,363 Part of me was not there, 394 00:22:35,403 --> 00:22:38,963 and not knowing where those characteristics, 395 00:22:39,003 --> 00:22:41,723 those physical traits might come from. 396 00:22:41,763 --> 00:22:44,763 That must be really, really difficult to not know that. 397 00:22:44,803 --> 00:22:48,643 And I think she's trying to grasp on to somebody 398 00:22:48,683 --> 00:22:51,803 with blood links to her that might really care about her. 399 00:23:09,683 --> 00:23:12,843 AGA: And everything has been done. 400 00:23:12,883 --> 00:23:16,203 So, that's the sample that we've taken from Mum. 401 00:23:16,243 --> 00:23:18,243 Everything has been signed. 402 00:23:18,283 --> 00:23:20,523 So, how long before we'll know the result? 403 00:23:20,563 --> 00:23:22,683 If I post that tomorrow, 404 00:23:22,723 --> 00:23:27,203 then I think it will take maximum two weeks for the results. 405 00:23:31,483 --> 00:23:33,883 Really exciting. It is. 406 00:23:33,923 --> 00:23:37,043 So, Havana'll potentially get to know her family? 407 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,723 In the next two weeks, maximum two weeks. 408 00:24:12,763 --> 00:24:15,443 Hi, you all right? Yeah, I'm just looking for some part-time job. 409 00:24:15,483 --> 00:24:17,443 I'm just wondering if you have anything going. 410 00:24:17,483 --> 00:24:18,803 I just wonder if you had any... 411 00:24:18,843 --> 00:24:21,003 I'm looking for part-time work? Yeah? 412 00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:23,243 Erm, I'm just wondering if you had anything. 413 00:24:23,283 --> 00:24:25,203 Yeah, I'll take this and give it to my manager. 414 00:24:25,243 --> 00:24:28,043 Yeah, that's fine, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. 415 00:24:34,563 --> 00:24:36,603 Hi, I'm looking for some part-time work? 416 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:38,603 I'm so sorry, darling, I don't have any. 417 00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:41,283 No, that's OK. Can I leave my CV with you anyway, just in case...? 418 00:24:41,323 --> 00:24:43,363 No, cos I have too many staff. 419 00:24:44,843 --> 00:24:46,243 HE GROANS 420 00:24:49,603 --> 00:24:52,763 Kane is still waiting to receive his case files. 421 00:24:54,923 --> 00:24:58,243 But today, he's hoping he'll get a little more information 422 00:24:58,283 --> 00:25:00,163 about why he ended up in care. 423 00:25:06,043 --> 00:25:09,483 Hello. Hello. You all right? Yeah, you? Yeah, I'm about to. 424 00:25:09,523 --> 00:25:12,163 So, we agreed today that we were going to have a look 425 00:25:12,203 --> 00:25:14,563 for your life storybook, weren't we? Yes. 426 00:25:14,603 --> 00:25:18,523 All children in care are given what's known as a life storybook, 427 00:25:18,563 --> 00:25:22,123 to help make sense of why they've been removed from their family. 428 00:25:22,163 --> 00:25:25,643 And is this the one where you felt like some of the information was...? 429 00:25:25,683 --> 00:25:27,883 Yeah, very graphic for an eight-year-old. OK. 430 00:25:27,923 --> 00:25:29,643 Like, it's a bit too much. 431 00:25:29,683 --> 00:25:32,363 Kane hasn't looked at his since he was eight. 432 00:25:32,403 --> 00:25:35,683 So, now this is where it gets... Yeah. 433 00:25:35,723 --> 00:25:38,883 It says here there'd been a report that my dad had been hitting me. 434 00:25:38,923 --> 00:25:41,843 But...why would he do that? 435 00:25:41,883 --> 00:25:43,403 I just don't believe that. 436 00:25:43,443 --> 00:25:46,123 Who do you think would've told? My mum would've told me if he was. 437 00:25:46,163 --> 00:25:49,123 And she said that he didn't, so... 438 00:25:49,163 --> 00:25:51,123 It's really hard to read that, isn't it? 439 00:25:51,163 --> 00:25:53,003 Because that's your dad. 440 00:25:53,043 --> 00:25:56,923 And what you know in your head is that he loved you very much. 441 00:25:56,963 --> 00:25:59,803 Like, reading this is hard. 442 00:25:59,843 --> 00:26:03,483 Yeah. It's like it's happened again with someone else. 443 00:26:03,523 --> 00:26:07,243 And my brother and sister had to go into care, just for a little bit. 444 00:26:07,283 --> 00:26:11,923 And the reasons that they would've gone into care was...? 445 00:26:11,963 --> 00:26:14,083 Because of the domestic violence. 446 00:26:14,123 --> 00:26:16,283 Yeah, so it would've been to keep them safe. 447 00:26:16,323 --> 00:26:18,603 To keep them safe. Yeah. 448 00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:22,083 So, violence is something there's been a lot of repeatedly of... 449 00:26:22,123 --> 00:26:23,683 So, you can you see a pattern? 450 00:26:23,723 --> 00:26:25,483 Kind of, yeah. Can you? OK. 451 00:26:25,523 --> 00:26:28,483 Are you kind of wondering, "Why wouldn't my mum have told me?" 452 00:26:28,523 --> 00:26:30,843 Well, no, she has said there was some domestic violence, 453 00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:33,043 but she never said about my sister going into care. 454 00:26:33,083 --> 00:26:35,763 That's why I'm a bit confused, cos she never mentioned it before. 455 00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:39,043 OK, so is that one of the things that we would need to try and 456 00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:42,003 confirm from when we access your records? Yeah, I think so. 457 00:26:42,043 --> 00:26:43,403 Is, did that happen? 458 00:26:43,443 --> 00:26:45,163 If that's true, because like I say, 459 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:47,843 some of it might be false information. OK. 460 00:26:47,883 --> 00:26:50,843 I mean, being in a domestically abusive relationship 461 00:26:50,883 --> 00:26:53,083 is a really hard thing. 462 00:26:53,123 --> 00:26:56,563 And your mum wants, obviously, your love and your affection, 463 00:26:56,603 --> 00:27:00,883 and you to be thinking of her in the most positive way. Yeah. 464 00:27:00,923 --> 00:27:04,043 And maybe she didn't want to hurt you, or maybe she'd be worried 465 00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:06,763 about how you'd think about her. 466 00:27:06,803 --> 00:27:08,363 Do you want have a little break? 467 00:27:08,403 --> 00:27:11,443 Yeah. Yeah? All right, then. I need to... 468 00:27:11,483 --> 00:27:14,843 That's heavy loads, yeah. That's heavy. 469 00:27:22,443 --> 00:27:25,523 How will he be when the actual case file comes through? 470 00:27:25,563 --> 00:27:29,803 My concern would be that if he comes across some information 471 00:27:29,843 --> 00:27:33,243 that he wasn't anticipating... 472 00:27:33,283 --> 00:27:36,283 ..in relation to why he was brought into care that's perhaps 473 00:27:36,323 --> 00:27:38,163 different from his mum's... 474 00:27:38,203 --> 00:27:42,363 ..perspective, or how she's explained it to him, 475 00:27:42,403 --> 00:27:46,123 I'm just worried, like, how it might affect his relationship with her, 476 00:27:46,163 --> 00:27:48,643 because it's really good at the moment. 477 00:27:54,363 --> 00:27:56,003 The last time. 478 00:27:57,403 --> 00:27:58,403 My. 479 00:28:01,163 --> 00:28:03,603 Instead of just waiting for Children's Services 480 00:28:03,643 --> 00:28:05,323 to come back with his file, 481 00:28:05,363 --> 00:28:07,803 Kane decides to go and explore his past. 482 00:28:12,123 --> 00:28:14,603 Although much of his memory is unclear, 483 00:28:14,643 --> 00:28:18,323 he does remember spending two years in a children's home in Kent. 484 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:34,203 He's arranged to meet one of his best friends from the home. 485 00:28:34,243 --> 00:28:37,363 All right, bro. Long time. Jesus Christ. You all right, mate? 486 00:28:37,403 --> 00:28:38,403 Yeah, good, you too. 487 00:28:38,443 --> 00:28:40,283 How was your trip? Good, yeah, not bad. 488 00:28:40,323 --> 00:28:41,763 Was it good? Yeah, calm, man. 489 00:28:41,803 --> 00:28:44,403 Oh, mate, it's good to see you. Yeah, you too. 490 00:28:44,443 --> 00:28:47,363 Have you spoke to your mum lately? Yeah, I seen her on Saturday. 491 00:28:47,403 --> 00:28:49,163 Yeah, she's doing good. Yeah? Yeah. 492 00:28:49,203 --> 00:28:52,603 So, I remember you back in the day, when you were, like, younger, 493 00:28:52,643 --> 00:28:55,443 you used to be quite angry. I was angry for years. 494 00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:58,243 Like, cos it's like being placed with different people 495 00:28:58,283 --> 00:29:00,723 that you don't know... Similar to me. Yeah, yeah. 496 00:29:00,763 --> 00:29:03,643 I can relate to you with that. And, like, you just can't settle. 497 00:29:03,683 --> 00:29:05,963 I tried telling you, "No, don't run away," cos it's... 498 00:29:06,003 --> 00:29:08,003 They're only going to come look to you... Yeah. 499 00:29:08,043 --> 00:29:11,083 You'll only get so far cos of money and that, you won't get far. 500 00:29:11,123 --> 00:29:14,283 Like, back then, I thought running away was my only option. 501 00:29:14,323 --> 00:29:16,843 So, basically, I've asked to access my files. 502 00:29:16,883 --> 00:29:18,243 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 503 00:29:18,283 --> 00:29:20,483 What was...what, how come? 504 00:29:20,523 --> 00:29:22,483 Like, what made you want to ask? 505 00:29:22,523 --> 00:29:25,243 Like, you want to look back into your past now? 506 00:29:25,283 --> 00:29:27,723 Mainly the reason why I got put into care. 507 00:29:27,763 --> 00:29:31,163 Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. Have you spoke to your mum about it? 508 00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:35,283 Briefly, like, I think it was because of my stepdad. 509 00:29:35,323 --> 00:29:37,723 Yeah, he used to... 510 00:29:37,763 --> 00:29:39,203 He wasn't very nice man. 511 00:29:39,243 --> 00:29:41,883 What, do you remember much about it? 512 00:29:41,923 --> 00:29:45,243 A little bit, I mean, it was a long time ago, so... 513 00:29:45,283 --> 00:29:49,203 But...also, he used to lock me in rooms, erm... 514 00:29:51,203 --> 00:29:53,043 Oh, what else did he used to do? Erm... 515 00:29:55,283 --> 00:29:57,083 He used to lock me... 516 00:29:57,123 --> 00:30:00,083 I can't even remember what he did, to be honest. Yeah. 517 00:30:00,123 --> 00:30:02,883 It's hard because it was, like I say, it was 13 years ago, 518 00:30:02,923 --> 00:30:04,363 so I don't know much, but... 519 00:30:19,483 --> 00:30:21,243 The last thing is, 520 00:30:21,283 --> 00:30:24,803 I do have some... unanswered questions. 521 00:30:27,123 --> 00:30:31,203 So, I'm hoping that this'll give me the answers that I'm looking for. 522 00:30:37,363 --> 00:30:40,243 That that chapter will close, and I can move on. 523 00:30:40,283 --> 00:30:41,563 Truly move on. 524 00:30:48,803 --> 00:30:51,243 Both Kane and Havana are trying to answer 525 00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:52,923 the biggest questions we have. 526 00:30:55,323 --> 00:30:56,603 "Who am I? 527 00:30:56,643 --> 00:30:58,043 "Where do I come from? 528 00:30:58,083 --> 00:30:59,563 "Where do I fit in?" 529 00:31:02,523 --> 00:31:04,803 HAVANA: My hair is a me... 530 00:31:04,843 --> 00:31:06,683 Look at the curl! 531 00:31:06,723 --> 00:31:09,883 It's a dry curl moment, because I haven't got time to wash it, 532 00:31:09,923 --> 00:31:11,723 cos we've gotta go soon. 533 00:31:11,763 --> 00:31:15,323 Havana's DNA paternity results are due any day now, 534 00:31:15,363 --> 00:31:18,723 so she and Beth are planning distractions. 535 00:31:18,763 --> 00:31:20,123 Where are you going tonight? 536 00:31:20,163 --> 00:31:22,363 We're going to see Divina de Campo! 537 00:31:22,403 --> 00:31:24,123 SHE SCREAMS 538 00:31:24,163 --> 00:31:25,443 Who's Divina de Campo? 539 00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:29,603 Divina de Campo is from season one of UK Drag Race. 540 00:31:29,643 --> 00:31:32,483 She is it. She is everything. 541 00:31:32,523 --> 00:31:34,203 She is stunning. 542 00:31:34,243 --> 00:31:35,603 And she's just - I've heard, like, 543 00:31:35,643 --> 00:31:37,563 she's one of the kindest people ever. 544 00:31:37,603 --> 00:31:39,163 And I've texted her, so I'd know. 545 00:31:39,203 --> 00:31:40,843 Really? Did you get to t... 546 00:31:40,883 --> 00:31:42,283 How'd you get the text...? 547 00:31:42,323 --> 00:31:44,563 Well, cos on Instagram, I said, 548 00:31:44,603 --> 00:31:47,043 "OMG, you are one of my biggest inspirations in the world, 549 00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:49,323 "and thank you for all you have done for our community, 550 00:31:49,363 --> 00:31:51,403 "and thank you for all you've inspired in me." 551 00:31:51,443 --> 00:31:53,043 And she liked that at first. 552 00:31:53,083 --> 00:31:55,763 And then, I was saying that I'll come and see the show. 553 00:31:55,803 --> 00:31:58,403 And she said, "Fab, it's going to be amazing." 554 00:31:58,443 --> 00:32:01,523 She lost her card, she left it in the train station. 555 00:32:01,563 --> 00:32:04,283 And it's just like a genuine conversation, she was just like, 556 00:32:04,323 --> 00:32:05,843 just fuming about it, you know? 557 00:32:05,883 --> 00:32:08,563 Just, like, really casual messages... 558 00:32:08,603 --> 00:32:10,083 I've never been here in my life. 559 00:32:10,123 --> 00:32:12,563 Gay Village - Gay Village is down there, 560 00:32:12,603 --> 00:32:14,643 and I think it's that way. 561 00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:17,963 So, shall we get this meet-and-greet started, then, Birmingham? 562 00:32:18,003 --> 00:32:19,563 APPLAUSE 563 00:32:21,083 --> 00:32:23,443 It is Divina de Campo! 564 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,603 CHEERING 565 00:32:25,643 --> 00:32:27,803 Oh, my goodness. Is this real life? 566 00:32:27,843 --> 00:32:29,163 I'm actually going to cry. 567 00:32:32,843 --> 00:32:35,723 Hi, darling, how are you? Hiya! I'm gr... 568 00:32:35,763 --> 00:32:38,123 I'm just so happy to see you. Nice to finally meet you. 569 00:32:38,163 --> 00:32:41,363 Thank you, I've been waiting forever. 570 00:32:41,403 --> 00:32:43,963 I just wanted to say, like, you really inspired me 571 00:32:44,003 --> 00:32:45,763 to become an AFAB queen. 572 00:32:45,803 --> 00:32:49,403 Can I get, like, an inspirational note or message, if that's OK? 573 00:32:49,443 --> 00:32:51,363 I mean, I will do my best. 574 00:32:52,763 --> 00:32:55,683 HAVANA GIGGLES Oh, my goodness. 575 00:32:58,323 --> 00:33:00,923 I'm getting emotional again, I can't get emotional. 576 00:33:00,963 --> 00:33:02,203 Not today. 577 00:33:02,243 --> 00:33:04,203 Thank you so, so, so much. 578 00:33:04,243 --> 00:33:06,643 Thank you. Are you ready for your photo with her, please? 579 00:33:06,683 --> 00:33:09,163 Yeah, can I get you to grab that quickly? Gorge. 580 00:33:12,443 --> 00:33:14,003 Perfect. Thank you so much. 581 00:33:14,043 --> 00:33:16,163 Thank you so much. Darling, thank you so much. 582 00:33:16,203 --> 00:33:18,403 Enjoy the show. Thank you. Ahh! 583 00:33:18,443 --> 00:33:19,723 "You can fly to me..." 584 00:33:19,763 --> 00:33:20,803 SHE GASPS 585 00:33:20,843 --> 00:33:22,803 What does the other bit say? "Fly to the moon." 586 00:33:22,843 --> 00:33:23,963 You know, that's a... 587 00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:25,763 "So proud of you, darling." 588 00:33:27,163 --> 00:33:28,563 SHE SOBS 589 00:33:28,603 --> 00:33:31,563 Divina de Campo's proud of me. 590 00:33:31,603 --> 00:33:34,843 This evening, I am Divina de Campo! 591 00:33:34,883 --> 00:33:37,643 CHEERING 592 00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:39,083 And I will be your... 593 00:33:39,123 --> 00:33:43,283 # Took a ride to the end of the lane 594 00:33:43,323 --> 00:33:46,403 # Where no-one ever goes 595 00:33:46,443 --> 00:33:48,283 # Ended up... 596 00:33:49,403 --> 00:33:52,163 I didn't have that family that supported me growing up. 597 00:33:53,363 --> 00:33:57,643 Doing drag, I've got this whole community filled with people that 598 00:33:57,683 --> 00:34:01,563 have been through similar things, you know, of that neglect of family, 599 00:34:01,603 --> 00:34:03,723 or not understanding who they truly are. 600 00:34:06,083 --> 00:34:09,803 And having that kind of family that I so strongly relate to, 601 00:34:09,843 --> 00:34:12,043 being in drag, is amazing. 602 00:34:12,083 --> 00:34:16,963 # Relax, take it easy 603 00:34:17,003 --> 00:34:20,523 # For there is nothing that we can do 604 00:34:20,563 --> 00:34:25,043 # Relax, take it easy 605 00:34:25,083 --> 00:34:28,723 # Blame it on me or blame it on you... 606 00:34:28,763 --> 00:34:31,283 Birmingham, you have been an absolute treat, 607 00:34:31,323 --> 00:34:33,843 and I'm so grateful for you turning out. 608 00:34:33,883 --> 00:34:35,723 # Relax... # 609 00:34:48,963 --> 00:34:50,883 Havana has received a call. 610 00:34:51,963 --> 00:34:54,203 Aga is coming round with the test results. 611 00:34:57,203 --> 00:34:59,083 Hi! AGA: Hello! Hi, Havana. 612 00:35:00,363 --> 00:35:03,323 Good to see you. You look gorgeous! I love this dress. 613 00:35:03,363 --> 00:35:05,803 Are you ready? I don't know. 614 00:35:05,843 --> 00:35:08,443 Vicky just dropped it off, bless her. Oh! 615 00:35:08,483 --> 00:35:11,003 I was literally like, I don't even know if Aga knows. 616 00:35:11,043 --> 00:35:12,803 But you do, I'm guessing? I do! 617 00:35:12,843 --> 00:35:15,563 Because I see some letters... I do. OK. 618 00:35:15,603 --> 00:35:19,163 NERVOUS LAUGHTER It's a bit nerve-racking... 619 00:35:19,203 --> 00:35:20,363 SHE EXHALES 620 00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:24,563 SHE HUMS DRAMATICALLY 621 00:35:26,443 --> 00:35:28,443 So, it says, like, my, erm, relationship... 622 00:35:28,483 --> 00:35:31,163 Hang on, no, no, I don't want to - I want to do it one at a time, 623 00:35:31,203 --> 00:35:33,603 because I'll freak out, if I'm honest. Erm... 624 00:35:33,643 --> 00:35:35,803 "Test request, second-degree relative. 625 00:35:35,843 --> 00:35:37,483 "Summary - the results... 626 00:35:37,523 --> 00:35:40,403 "..hypothesis that the tested individuals are related!" 627 00:35:42,803 --> 00:35:46,163 Oh, my God, I've waited years for this! 628 00:35:46,203 --> 00:35:48,123 SOBBING: Oh, my God! 629 00:35:49,243 --> 00:35:52,203 You're going to get emotional! 630 00:35:52,243 --> 00:35:54,803 Oh, Aga... 631 00:35:54,843 --> 00:35:56,683 Thank you for all of this. 632 00:35:56,723 --> 00:35:58,203 Oh, my goodness. 633 00:35:58,243 --> 00:36:00,163 Wait till Beverly finds out! Oh, my God. 634 00:36:00,203 --> 00:36:02,323 Wait till Beverly finds... 635 00:36:02,363 --> 00:36:05,283 Oh, my God, this is crazy. 636 00:36:05,323 --> 00:36:08,403 There's a possibility I could meet my whole family now, 637 00:36:08,443 --> 00:36:10,123 this is ridiculous. 638 00:36:29,483 --> 00:36:31,203 It's quite a big moment. 639 00:36:31,243 --> 00:36:32,563 Yeah, I think it will be. 640 00:36:32,603 --> 00:36:37,003 I think it'll be really, kind of, difficult for Kane 641 00:36:37,043 --> 00:36:38,403 to go through them. 642 00:36:38,443 --> 00:36:41,523 I know he's been waiting a long time. 643 00:36:41,563 --> 00:36:44,363 Six months after requesting his files, 644 00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:46,523 Kane has finally received them. 645 00:36:47,963 --> 00:36:52,203 To help him interpret the documents, the service brings in an adviser 646 00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:55,283 who's known him since he was a child. 647 00:36:55,323 --> 00:37:01,003 I am nervous for him just because, you know, I don't want him to read 648 00:37:01,043 --> 00:37:07,163 something that'll upset him or, you know, kind of, make him question 649 00:37:07,203 --> 00:37:10,243 the relationships that he's got in his life. 650 00:37:12,363 --> 00:37:14,803 Not everyone requests their files. 651 00:37:16,043 --> 00:37:17,963 Not everyone wants to know. 652 00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:25,043 And for him to be able to read these files is really brave. 653 00:37:25,083 --> 00:37:29,283 The files contain all of Kane's case notes made by social workers 654 00:37:29,323 --> 00:37:31,563 over the last 19 years. 655 00:37:31,603 --> 00:37:33,483 He wants to know everything. 656 00:37:33,523 --> 00:37:38,203 And, you know, what's led him to be the person that he is today. 657 00:37:41,043 --> 00:37:42,443 All right, let's do it. 658 00:37:45,723 --> 00:37:49,803 Does your family know that you've applied for them, as well? 659 00:37:49,843 --> 00:37:51,163 I told my mum ages ago, 660 00:37:51,203 --> 00:37:53,403 but I haven't actually said anything since. 661 00:37:54,563 --> 00:37:55,963 Yes? Oh, we're in. 662 00:37:56,003 --> 00:37:57,283 We're in. I think we're in. 663 00:37:57,323 --> 00:37:58,443 We're in. 664 00:37:58,483 --> 00:38:00,483 Right, let's have a look. 665 00:38:00,523 --> 00:38:02,603 Well, there's my name. OK. 666 00:38:05,003 --> 00:38:06,843 Erm... 667 00:38:06,883 --> 00:38:10,763 So, this bit here, saying about basic care, 668 00:38:10,803 --> 00:38:15,283 this assessment is saying that your parents are not kind of responding 669 00:38:15,323 --> 00:38:19,043 to your emotional needs - your basic needs are met, 670 00:38:19,083 --> 00:38:22,163 you're fed, you're clean, you've got lots of toys, 671 00:38:22,203 --> 00:38:24,683 but it's your emotional needs. 672 00:38:24,723 --> 00:38:29,163 So, "disagreements between parents are resolved in not right" - 673 00:38:29,203 --> 00:38:32,923 so it's saying that any disagreements, any arguments 674 00:38:32,963 --> 00:38:34,563 results in violence. 675 00:38:35,803 --> 00:38:37,243 Does that make sense? Yeah. 676 00:38:37,283 --> 00:38:39,563 And then, your stepdad came on the scene. 677 00:38:39,603 --> 00:38:41,843 Yeah. Yeah. OK. 678 00:38:44,323 --> 00:38:47,163 Oh, here we go. I haven't seen this before. 679 00:38:47,203 --> 00:38:50,443 Right, OK, that's good. So... HE MUMBLES READING 680 00:38:59,123 --> 00:39:03,083 So, "All the children have made the disclosure to the learning mentor 681 00:39:03,123 --> 00:39:05,803 "then to the social worker that..." I know who that is. 682 00:39:05,843 --> 00:39:07,643 "..hits them with a wooden stick." 683 00:39:07,683 --> 00:39:11,563 "An internal care order was granted because of significant 684 00:39:11,603 --> 00:39:15,003 "historical and current concerns about Ms... 685 00:39:15,043 --> 00:39:18,963 "..ability to meet the needs of her children and put them first." 686 00:39:19,003 --> 00:39:21,683 I would interpret that as.. 687 00:39:23,403 --> 00:39:26,523 If they were being hit with a wooden stick at home, 688 00:39:26,563 --> 00:39:30,723 Mum's not able to protect them from that because that's going on. 689 00:39:30,763 --> 00:39:35,203 That might have been, not that your mum wasn't good to you 690 00:39:35,243 --> 00:39:38,363 or didn't care about you, because it says that, you know, 691 00:39:38,403 --> 00:39:42,203 your mum really loved you but struggled to keep you safe. 692 00:39:43,443 --> 00:39:46,803 You know, because she was obviously in not a very good relationship 693 00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:48,203 at the time. 694 00:39:48,243 --> 00:39:51,283 So, it might've been really difficult for her 695 00:39:51,323 --> 00:39:52,563 to get out of that. 696 00:39:57,563 --> 00:39:59,683 I looked after my children very well. 697 00:40:00,803 --> 00:40:04,843 They were always taken to school on time. 698 00:40:04,883 --> 00:40:06,643 They were always clean. 699 00:40:06,683 --> 00:40:09,403 They were always fed well. 700 00:40:09,443 --> 00:40:12,403 The reason I got told why they were taken off me 701 00:40:12,443 --> 00:40:15,603 was because I picked the wrong man. 702 00:40:15,643 --> 00:40:19,803 So, that would've been one of the concerns raised in that meeting. 703 00:40:22,443 --> 00:40:25,283 But can you understand why they were taken off you? 704 00:40:25,323 --> 00:40:30,643 I couldn't at the time, cos of the situation I was in. 705 00:40:30,683 --> 00:40:33,843 But I can understand now that they were just 706 00:40:33,883 --> 00:40:35,203 protecting the children. 707 00:40:37,603 --> 00:40:41,323 And I just feel like I wish now I'd been stronger. 708 00:40:43,443 --> 00:40:45,723 And you're stuck in that relationship. 709 00:40:45,763 --> 00:40:50,283 And this man is telling you that, 710 00:40:50,323 --> 00:40:52,123 you know, they love you. 711 00:40:52,163 --> 00:40:56,443 And even though if they're violent to you, it is very, very hard, 712 00:40:56,483 --> 00:40:58,563 very hard to get out of that relationship. 713 00:41:08,843 --> 00:41:10,363 Morning, Mum. 714 00:41:10,403 --> 00:41:13,643 Good morning. Morning, how... You good? Yeah, good, how are you? 715 00:41:13,683 --> 00:41:16,003 Yeah, I'm good, thank you. That's good. 716 00:41:16,043 --> 00:41:20,043 Yeah, I mean, I can do a bit of shopping for you, if you want. 717 00:41:20,083 --> 00:41:22,043 What does she mean to you, your mum? 718 00:41:23,603 --> 00:41:25,043 She's everything, you know? 719 00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:27,443 End of the day, she's my mum - you only get one mum in life. 720 00:41:27,483 --> 00:41:29,763 How about - I was going to say, I could surprise you, yeah. 721 00:41:29,803 --> 00:41:31,763 All right, cool. Cos I know what you like anyway, 722 00:41:31,803 --> 00:41:33,243 so I'll just get you another. 723 00:41:34,323 --> 00:41:37,003 And you don't want anything to get in the way of that relationship? 724 00:41:37,043 --> 00:41:41,163 No, I don't. Nothing will, you know, even though, you know, 725 00:41:41,203 --> 00:41:43,203 some of them files will say some stuff, 726 00:41:43,243 --> 00:41:46,763 but obviously, whatever, they make my mum look like she's a bad person. 727 00:41:46,803 --> 00:41:49,883 But the way I see it is, she wasn't. 728 00:41:49,923 --> 00:41:52,283 She means a lot to me, and I've got a lot of respect for her. 729 00:41:52,323 --> 00:41:54,523 She's always there. She's been there for me. 730 00:41:56,923 --> 00:42:00,963 Other social workers that have helped people with files, 731 00:42:01,003 --> 00:42:03,763 they've seen family divisions open up on the back of it. 732 00:42:03,803 --> 00:42:06,123 But that doesn't seem to be something that's... 733 00:42:06,163 --> 00:42:08,763 No, that won't happen to me, because me and Mum, we've got a very 734 00:42:08,803 --> 00:42:12,163 good relationship, and I've always said nothing will come between us, 735 00:42:12,203 --> 00:42:13,843 and nothing ever has and will. 736 00:42:13,883 --> 00:42:15,883 You'll never let that happen? No, I won't. 737 00:42:15,923 --> 00:42:17,763 Because I can't afford to lose my mum. 738 00:42:17,803 --> 00:42:19,163 I've already lost my dad. 739 00:42:20,923 --> 00:42:24,843 I can't let a silly thing like files, or anything like that 740 00:42:24,883 --> 00:42:26,243 come between us. 741 00:42:28,443 --> 00:42:31,203 You're absolutely resolute about that, are you? Yeah. 742 00:42:35,723 --> 00:42:39,203 He loves you very deeply, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. 743 00:42:39,243 --> 00:42:40,883 Always rings me every day. 744 00:42:40,923 --> 00:42:43,643 Probably about 3-4 times a day. 745 00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:50,163 I've got my son back, and I don't know, 746 00:42:50,203 --> 00:42:51,843 I'd be lost without him. 747 00:42:53,243 --> 00:42:54,923 He's wonderful. 748 00:42:54,963 --> 00:42:57,763 MUSIC: Want Ads by Honey Cone 749 00:42:57,803 --> 00:43:00,763 # Wanted, young man single and free 750 00:43:02,563 --> 00:43:05,123 # Experience in love preferred 751 00:43:05,163 --> 00:43:07,963 # But will accept a young trainee 752 00:43:08,003 --> 00:43:11,203 # Oh I'm gonna put it in the want ads 753 00:43:12,763 --> 00:43:16,563 # I need a love that's true Gonna put it in the want ads... 754 00:43:16,603 --> 00:43:19,003 Hi, Mum. Got you shopping. Oh, thank you! 755 00:43:19,043 --> 00:43:21,563 That's all right, got you a few bits, some bread... 756 00:43:21,603 --> 00:43:22,843 Oh, lovely, thank you. 757 00:43:22,883 --> 00:43:26,003 Would you like to come in for tea? Yeah, thanks, Mum. Thank you. 758 00:43:26,043 --> 00:43:28,363 # My man is playing the field 759 00:43:28,403 --> 00:43:30,323 # The thrill is gone 760 00:43:30,363 --> 00:43:32,243 # Gonna put it in the want ads... # 761 00:43:44,523 --> 00:43:45,763 Hello! 762 00:43:45,803 --> 00:43:48,003 SHE LAUGHS 763 00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:51,403 You called me at quite a funny moment, I think. 764 00:43:51,443 --> 00:43:54,003 I'm like, "My lips aren't on properly." 765 00:43:54,043 --> 00:43:55,883 Oh, my word! 766 00:43:55,923 --> 00:43:57,683 This is crazy! 767 00:43:57,723 --> 00:44:00,363 You're the first person to see me in real life, 768 00:44:00,403 --> 00:44:02,683 other than the Amazon delivery guy, 769 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:04,803 in my drag! SHE LAUGHS 770 00:44:06,003 --> 00:44:07,363 I feel very privileged. 771 00:44:07,403 --> 00:44:08,683 This is crazy. 772 00:44:08,723 --> 00:44:11,763 Do you want to come in? Yeah. SHE LAUGHS 773 00:44:11,803 --> 00:44:14,883 Havana is still waiting to see if her birth father, 774 00:44:14,923 --> 00:44:17,043 or his relatives will meet her. 775 00:44:18,443 --> 00:44:22,603 But for now, she's embracing her other new-found family - 776 00:44:22,643 --> 00:44:24,043 her drag family. 777 00:44:27,883 --> 00:44:30,283 Do you feel proud of what you've achieved? 778 00:44:30,323 --> 00:44:31,843 More than anything. 779 00:44:34,123 --> 00:44:38,643 When I look back and think where I was as a child, 780 00:44:38,683 --> 00:44:40,723 and where I am now, 781 00:44:40,763 --> 00:44:42,963 it's like two different people. 782 00:44:44,883 --> 00:44:47,043 I'm just quite lucky to have been born with, like, 783 00:44:47,083 --> 00:44:49,203 quite a positive outlook on life. 784 00:44:49,243 --> 00:44:52,003 You know, I wasn't given that - I wasn't given that positive 785 00:44:52,043 --> 00:44:53,643 outlook by anyone around me. 786 00:44:53,683 --> 00:44:56,803 I've just naturally had that, which I'm quite grateful for. 787 00:44:58,403 --> 00:45:00,363 MUSIC: Free by Florence + The Machine 788 00:45:00,403 --> 00:45:02,843 CHEERING 789 00:45:02,883 --> 00:45:06,803 # Sometimes I wonder if I should be medicated 790 00:45:08,203 --> 00:45:12,563 # If I would feel better just slightly sedated 791 00:45:12,603 --> 00:45:18,683 # A feeling comes so fast and I cannot control it 792 00:45:18,723 --> 00:45:24,563 # I'm on fire, but I'm trying not to show it 793 00:45:24,603 --> 00:45:28,163 # As it picks me up, puts me down 794 00:45:28,203 --> 00:45:30,923 # It picks me up, puts me down 795 00:45:30,963 --> 00:45:34,083 # Picks me up, puts me down... 796 00:45:34,123 --> 00:45:36,363 You should be proud, not pity it. You shouldn't go, 797 00:45:36,403 --> 00:45:38,243 "Oh, I'm sorry that happened to you." 798 00:45:38,283 --> 00:45:42,803 It happened. I'm very open about it, just because if I hide it, 799 00:45:42,843 --> 00:45:45,923 then I'm not being proud of who I am. 800 00:45:45,963 --> 00:45:49,043 # I'm always running from something 801 00:45:49,083 --> 00:45:51,803 # I push it back, but it keeps on coming 802 00:45:51,843 --> 00:45:56,923 # And being clever never got me very far 803 00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:59,683 # Because it's all in my head 804 00:45:59,723 --> 00:46:02,363 # And "You're too sensitive", they said 805 00:46:02,403 --> 00:46:07,603 # I said, "OK, but let's discuss this at the hospital" 806 00:46:09,483 --> 00:46:12,163 # As it picks me up, puts me down 807 00:46:12,203 --> 00:46:14,803 # It picks me up, puts me down 808 00:46:14,843 --> 00:46:18,363 # Picks me up, puts me down 809 00:46:18,403 --> 00:46:20,483 # A hundred times a day 810 00:46:20,523 --> 00:46:23,083 # It picks me up, puts me down 811 00:46:23,123 --> 00:46:25,723 # It chews me up, spits me out 812 00:46:25,763 --> 00:46:29,443 # Picks me up, puts me down 813 00:46:29,483 --> 00:46:32,523 # But I hear the music 814 00:46:32,563 --> 00:46:35,363 # I feel the beat 815 00:46:35,403 --> 00:46:39,683 # And for a moment When I'm dancing, I am free 816 00:46:40,803 --> 00:46:43,483 # I hear the music 817 00:46:43,523 --> 00:46:45,803 # I feel the beat 818 00:46:45,843 --> 00:46:47,963 # And for a moment 819 00:46:48,003 --> 00:46:51,923 # When I'm dancing I am free... # 820 00:46:51,963 --> 00:46:54,163 Subtitles by Red Bee Media