More young people are in the care system than ever before.
But they're rarely seen, and rarely heard.
The series wants to change that.
MUSIC: A Hero's Death by Fontaines DC
# Never let a clock tell you what you got time for
# It only goes around, goes around, goes around
# Take your family name for your own great sins
# Cos each day is where it all begins and
# Don't give up too quick
# You only get one line, you better make it stick
# If we give ourselves to every breath
# Then we're all in the running for a hero's death... #
What do you fancy this week, sir?
So, bolognese for sure. I love bolognese.
Right, do we need any gravy?
I've got some.
Think about how much money you've got per week to spend,
to make sure it'll last you.
Or you can always get something cheaper...
Those ones are easy, yeah.
..but then, you can just add some cheese... Exactly.
And some Chinese. Sweet and sour chicken! With pineapple!
79p!
Whoo!
Sorry! SHE LAUGHS
Do you feel parental towards her?
I do, actually, because, you know,
even though I'm not her mum, biological mum,
I'm still corporate parent.
So, I feel that I am responsible for her,
as I would be responsible for my own child.
Right. There we are.
Let's put that away.
Since she came into care three years ago,
Havana has lived with a host of different foster carers.
But with the support of a specialist housing programme and social worker,
Aga, she's just moved into her first flat.
How old are you? 16.
And this is your...?
This is my own flat. Yeah.
Welcome!
Wow, so you live here alone?
Yes. All by myself.
Do you feel ready to have a tenancy of your own? Yeah.
I mean, I think, like, growing up in, like, in the system,
or growing up in my situation, I've always had to, like,
be quite mature for my age.
That's amazing. You do seem really mature.
I think of myself at 16 - I could barely find my way to bed...
SHE LAUGHS ..let alone have a tenancy.
This is the day I went into foster care.
Yeah, look, November 5th, 2018.
7am in the morning.
How many placements did you have before you got this...
You moved here?
Oh, I must've had six placements.
Six in, what, three years?
Yeah, about three-and-a-half years. Six different placements.
And when you went to your first placement, did you hope that
that would be where you'd stay forever?
That'd be the family you'd be with?
Yeah, I mean, 100%.
I was hoping that I'd be part of this family.
And, you know, it...
It just wasn't that,
it wasn't all that I'd dreamt it to be.
You know, even though I didn't find my forever family,
it's like I'm still looking for that, you know?
And I always will be looking for that, because everyone needs
a family or people around them, at least, to support as a family.
Yeah.
Do you know this one? The...
PIANO: Well-Tempered Clavier by Johann Sebastian Bach
I can just play it really fast, which is...
PLAYS PIANO FASTER ..a cool thing I can do.
Oh, no.
Havana no longer sees her mum,
and has never known her dad.
But as she turns 16, she has questions she wants answered.
So, like, obviously, I've never really known my dad.
And, like, Mum doesn't know anything about him, really,
I don't think, and I obviously don't know anything about him.
I don't know if social services would,
cos he left before I was born.
But, yeah, I was just like wondering if, like, I didn't know if,
like, there was anything in my files or anything about my dad,
or if, like, there's anyway you could help me find him in a way,
or at least a picture of him or anything?
OK. So, we can explore what kind of services are available.
So, we might not have all the answers at this point,
but we can try to support to help you find the family if possible.
We can put that as a plan.
Like, I'd love to know him.
Like, if possible, I'd love to know him and meet
that side of the family.
But, even if that wasn't possible, like, I could just see myself just
at least looking at a picture and him knowing that I'm here,
and him accepting that I'm here.
Even if he goes, "I'm not ready to meet you now,"
"but it's lovely to know that you wanted to know me,"
even that alone would be, like, such a lovely feeling.
Sorry...
But it'd just be quiet...
You know, it's like someone finally accepting you,
that you didn't think would ever accept you.
It's quite a lot of strong feeling, but, yeah.
Oh, I'm so silly. I'm so sorry.
But, yeah. Probably got mascara...
I've got panda eyes! SHE LAUGHS
Oh, but, yeah, for sure.
It's just that dream of having that feeling, for sure, yeah.
Since she was a child,
she only knew one part of the family.
She just knew her mum?
And she knows that as she's getting older,
she wants to know more about herself.
And what is the risk?
I think rejection.
What if they've got a different view?
I think that's the risk.
# Pink when you're blushing inside
# Baby
# Pink is the truth you can't hide
# Maybe
# Pink like the folds of your brain
# Crazy
# Pink as we all go insane... #
So, I've got...a meat feast pizza.
Oh, I've got some veg.
That's quite solid.
Just a few weeks into her tenancy,
and Havana has her first dinner guest -
lifelong friend, Beth.
PHONE BEEPS
Hello?
Hello, hello, hello! Let me let you in.
What's the password?
SHE LAUGHS
What's the password?
What is it? Erm, it's...
It's...
Come on, you got this. Let me.
"Let me in, please." OK, that's good enough.
I don't think you would've been able... Oh.
Hello, hello, hello! Hello, hello!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bum!
What?!
I'm doing us pizza, if that's OK.
Hello, Beth, I'm Paddy.
I-I'm Beth.
Oh, yeah! Paddy and Jack. SHE GIGGLES
Oh, my gosh, yeah, so I'm doing us pizza, if that's all right.
I love pizza. Awesome. Right.
While that boils...
Isn't it bonkers, though?
It's like, you can do anything you want.
Right, the first thing we did when we came here is...
..we both sat on the counter, didn't we - if I can get up...
With our legs there. This wasn't here, so our legs were there,
kicking each other.
So, that was the first thing we did, and we were like,
"No-one can tell us we can't sit on the counters any more!"
We were buzzing.
Can you describe Havana to me?
She's so loud. So loud.
Like, you can always hear her before you can see her.
What's going on with these photos?
What's happening here? I do drag!
Mrs Gina Tonic! She's a missus.
Can women do drag, then, is that a...
That's a thing, is it?
Yes, so, an AFAB queen, which is "assigned female at birth".
A lot of people think, like, just gay men can do drag,
which is not the case, cos I've gone through, like,
from being bi...bisexual to pansexual, to straight,
thinking straight again.
And now I'm a...unlabelled, which is this flag here.
You're what? What's this? Erm, unlabelled.
So, I just don't have a label on who I like, or who I love.
It's just, if I like the person, I'll like the person.
Just go with it. Yeah.
Go with the flow. Yeah.
# You were riding your bike
# To the sound of "It's no big deal"...
We were in Year Six, and we just met there,
and we've been friends since.
We've had a lot of bumps, cos our personalities are so different.
# And nothing about the way you were treated
# Was especially alarming till now
# So you tie back your hair and you smile like
# It's no big deal
# You can let it go
# You can throw a party filled with everyone you know
# And not invite your family cos they never showed your love
# And you don't have to be sorry
# For leaving and growing up... #
I already know that. I don't know the rest of it yet.
I can't remember it, but it goes...
How often has a child said to you that they want to go into care?
I can tell you exactly. It's three times.
So, it's very rare? Very, very rare.
They more often than not want to stay with their parents,
or in their own home where they feel that it's familiar.
Havana was very clearly saying she needed to be away
from her home situation.
She needed to be in foster care.
Can you tell me about the day when she actually asked
to be put into care?
I was her social worker at the time,
and things were really starting to get quite bad for Havana at home.
There was a lot of abuse being masked.
The sort of abuse that I recall Havana telling me about later
was physical abuse, emotional abuse.
And, as such, it did take quite a long time to actually get to know
the Havana below the surface.
Oh, my gosh.
OK, so this is a picture from Year Seven.
I would've been about 11 or 12.
So that was before you went into care? Yeah.
This was like...
..peak of the abuse, actually.
I'm surprised you can't see any bruises or anything
in that picture alone.
Did she confide in you little things about what was going on
for her at home? Yeah.
She just told me that it's not nice at home and stuff,
and she didn't want to be there.
It always felt like a mission to get her out of there.
I was like, "What am I going to do?"
Bethany was the only person that knew what was going on at home.
She saw what I'd been through that no-one else has seen.
We were literally sat in the back of our classroom and she told me,
and then, yeah, I just told her she has to tell them, or I will.
You have, like, a couple more hours, or I'm going.
Then she ended up going.
My drama teacher went over to her,
and I just burst into tears, and she was like,
"What's wrong? What's wrong?"
And then, I started listing things,
and she grabbed my wrist and took me to the safeguarding lead.
The day that I knew there was the court case,
I went and checked the safeguarding lead office at lunchtime,
break time, before and after school.
And what happened?
She came out and she was, like, "They found you a foster family,
"social worker'll be here at this time."
My friends were just hugging me and I was like breaking down,
like, in happiness.
# It's like looking in the mirror...
And I felt free as anything, you know?
Yeah.
# I am a woman
# And that's perfect to me... #
I just can see, you know, I can see, like, you looked after us
really well, and... Yeah.
Is that you there? Yeah, that's me, yeah.
He loved playing in the garden in the summer.
After 13 years in care,
Kane has recently moved back to Coventry to live near his mum.
When he was just four, his dad went to prison following
a violent incident in the home.
Kane's dad...
..what was it that happened?
Er...
You know, you can say it.
I know you get upset when... No, it's all right.
Erm...we'd had a disagreement.
And I was telling him to get out, "Get out."
And the next minute, he took all the keys off me and the phones,
and wouldn't let me out.
But as soon as I got out, that's when the police come,
and then, he did a runner.
He went on the run.
That one mistake he made, like, you didn't mean to...
Then he got sent to prison.
And then, he was deported back to Africa.
But it was two years later,
when Kane's mum was in a new relationship,
that the children were eventually removed from the home.
Why were the kids taken into care, can I ask?
What happened was I met his stepdad,
and he was very abusive to me.
And what happened was I went into hospital to have the twins,
and left you at home with this man, your stepdad.
And that's when you were taken into care, because I shouldn't have...
Because you basically were giving birth,
and you couldn't, you... Well... See, that...
HE SIGHS
That doesn't make sense, you know?
But how - why I left you there was because I didn't want
to take you out of your routine.
But that was their reason for taking you,
because of me leaving you.
No hesitation.
Do you remember the day that you went into care?
I do, yeah, surprisingly.
I know it was quite a long time ago, but, yeah, I do, actually.
I was sitting in my classroom, old school, and everyone else was
getting picked up by the parents.
And I was just sitting there wondering, "Where's my mum?"
So, then, I just spoke to the teacher.
I asked her, "Why isn't she picking me up?"
She was like, "Oh, we're just going to take you out to the office."
Bear in mind, I'm six years old, so I was a bit confused, like,
"Well, no, no, my mum. Where is she?"
The only thing I really remember is...
..them taking me to the carers,
and the rest of it's just blank after that.
Like, even to this day, like, 13 years later, I still don't know
the real reason why I got taken from my mum, or into care,
or whatever you want to call it.
Like Havana, Kane is now trying to make sense of his past.
He has three differing accounts of what happened to him -
his mum's, the social workers', and his own memories.
Oh, God.
You all right? Yeah, yeah, it's hard.
It really is hard.
HE SIGHS
If you don't feel a sense of how you've come into care,
there would be huge questions about why.
"Why wasn't I able to stay with my family?
"What was it that social care saw?"
For me, it seems like he is struggling to find his place.
In terms of fitting into society, feeling a sense of belonging,
I think that's the bit that still is tricky for him.
To try and find answers,
Kane is asking Children's Services for help.
He's requesting access to his case files.
So, what would we go through?
So, mainly about why I was put into care.
So, I know a little bit about what...
I know, like, the - what's it called - the brief.
Yeah. I don't know, like, all of it yet, if you know what I mean?
So, the reasons...
The actual reason why, because people tell -
I've been told about 50 million - 50 different stories.
Like, I can't keep up. Right.
And they're not really the same? No.
You can see that she looked after us on these DVDs
I watched at home, like, if my mum was such a bad person,
why would she bother... Why wouldn't she cut contact?
Why am I still speaking to her now? OK.
Kane will have to wait several months to receive his files.
But there's been a development in Havana's case.
The service has tracked down her birth father.
AGA: Dad has been contacted.
However, he was quite reluctant to come forward.
I see, so Dad doesn't want to come forward?
I think, not at this point. OK.
But we've got news, and great for Havana -
a potential member of the family came forward and agreed
to complete DNA tests.
OK.
Why the DNA test?
To make sure that that family, that part of the family
is related to Havana.
Now that they have a DNA sample from a relative of the father,
all they need to complete the picture
is DNA from Havana's mum.
Aga is trying to get that sample from her today.
It's a big moment for Havana, definitely.
What do you want for Havana? What are your hopes?
I really want her to have that sense of identity.
And I really do hope that she will get the answers to her questions.
And her family can actually see how great a person she is.
Because she's our little star.
HAVANA GIGGLES
Whoo!
HAVANA LAUGHS
What're you doing? I'm not holding your hand.
It's one of those, as well, like, imagine meeting your dad
that you've never met, and like,
what if, you know, he doesn't like who I am, and stuff like that?
Or he just doesn't want to see me?
It's one of those - if he doesn't want to see me, then fair play.
You know, he has nothing to do with me. It's not like...
It's not like you've met him.
It's not like I can take it personally, cos he doesn't know me.
But even if he did know me, and then, suddenly said,
"I don't think we could do this,"
I feel like that'd be quite breaking, you know?
Seeing other children, like, go home with their dads
or being around their dads, it was like,
I wish I had that kind of experience.
And it would've just been nice to have that other person that was,
like, somewhat on my side with me.
Growing up, I needed support.
Everyone needs support at some point in their life, you know, say,
for example, I was struggling with money now, yeah,
the social care could help, but they're not there forever.
I can't imagine not knowing one of my parents.
It would feel as if part of me was missing.
Part of me was not there,
and not knowing where those characteristics,
those physical traits might come from.
That must be really, really difficult to not know that.
And I think she's trying to grasp on to somebody
with blood links to her that might really care about her.
AGA: And everything has been done.
So, that's the sample that we've taken from Mum.
Everything has been signed.
So, how long before we'll know the result?
If I post that tomorrow,
then I think it will take maximum two weeks for the results.
Really exciting. It is.
So, Havana'll potentially get to know her family?
In the next two weeks, maximum two weeks.
Hi, you all right? Yeah, I'm just looking for some part-time job.
I'm just wondering if you have anything going.
I just wonder if you had any...
I'm looking for part-time work? Yeah?
Erm, I'm just wondering if you had anything.
Yeah, I'll take this and give it to my manager.
Yeah, that's fine, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it.
Hi, I'm looking for some part-time work?
I'm so sorry, darling, I don't have any.
No, that's OK. Can I leave my CV with you anyway, just in case...?
No, cos I have too many staff.
HE GROANS
Kane is still waiting to receive his case files.
But today, he's hoping he'll get a little more information
about why he ended up in care.
Hello. Hello. You all right? Yeah, you? Yeah, I'm about to.
So, we agreed today that we were going to have a look
for your life storybook, weren't we? Yes.
All children in care are given what's known as a life storybook,
to help make sense of why they've been removed from their family.
And is this the one where you felt like some of the information was...?
Yeah, very graphic for an eight-year-old. OK.
Like, it's a bit too much.
Kane hasn't looked at his since he was eight.
So, now this is where it gets... Yeah.
It says here there'd been a report that my dad had been hitting me.
But...why would he do that?
I just don't believe that.
Who do you think would've told? My mum would've told me if he was.
And she said that he didn't, so...
It's really hard to read that, isn't it?
Because that's your dad.
And what you know in your head is that he loved you very much.
Like, reading this is hard.
Yeah. It's like it's happened again with someone else.
And my brother and sister had to go into care, just for a little bit.
And the reasons that they would've gone into care was...?
Because of the domestic violence.
Yeah, so it would've been to keep them safe.
To keep them safe. Yeah.
So, violence is something there's been a lot of repeatedly of...
So, you can you see a pattern?
Kind of, yeah. Can you? OK.
Are you kind of wondering, "Why wouldn't my mum have told me?"
Well, no, she has said there was some domestic violence,
but she never said about my sister going into care.
That's why I'm a bit confused, cos she never mentioned it before.
OK, so is that one of the things that we would need to try and
confirm from when we access your records? Yeah, I think so.
Is, did that happen?
If that's true, because like I say,
some of it might be false information. OK.
I mean, being in a domestically abusive relationship
is a really hard thing.
And your mum wants, obviously, your love and your affection,
and you to be thinking of her in the most positive way. Yeah.
And maybe she didn't want to hurt you, or maybe she'd be worried
about how you'd think about her.
Do you want have a little break?
Yeah. Yeah? All right, then. I need to...
That's heavy loads, yeah. That's heavy.
How will he be when the actual case file comes through?
My concern would be that if he comes across some information
that he wasn't anticipating...
..in relation to why he was brought into care that's perhaps
different from his mum's...
..perspective, or how she's explained it to him,
I'm just worried, like, how it might affect his relationship with her,
because it's really good at the moment.
The last time.
My.
Instead of just waiting for Children's Services
to come back with his file,
Kane decides to go and explore his past.
Although much of his memory is unclear,
he does remember spending two years in a children's home in Kent.
He's arranged to meet one of his best friends from the home.
All right, bro. Long time. Jesus Christ. You all right, mate?
Yeah, good, you too.
How was your trip? Good, yeah, not bad.
Was it good? Yeah, calm, man.
Oh, mate, it's good to see you. Yeah, you too.
Have you spoke to your mum lately? Yeah, I seen her on Saturday.
Yeah, she's doing good. Yeah? Yeah.
So, I remember you back in the day, when you were, like, younger,
you used to be quite angry. I was angry for years.
Like, cos it's like being placed with different people
that you don't know... Similar to me. Yeah, yeah.
I can relate to you with that. And, like, you just can't settle.
I tried telling you, "No, don't run away," cos it's...
They're only going to come look to you... Yeah.
You'll only get so far cos of money and that, you won't get far.
Like, back then, I thought running away was my only option.
So, basically, I've asked to access my files.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
What was...what, how come?
Like, what made you want to ask?
Like, you want to look back into your past now?
Mainly the reason why I got put into care.
Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. Have you spoke to your mum about it?
Briefly, like, I think it was because of my stepdad.
Yeah, he used to...
He wasn't very nice man.
What, do you remember much about it?
A little bit, I mean, it was a long time ago, so...
But...also, he used to lock me in rooms, erm...
Oh, what else did he used to do? Erm...
He used to lock me...
I can't even remember what he did, to be honest. Yeah.
It's hard because it was, like I say, it was 13 years ago,
so I don't know much, but...
The last thing is,
I do have some... unanswered questions.
So, I'm hoping that this'll give me the answers that I'm looking for.
That that chapter will close, and I can move on.
Truly move on.
Both Kane and Havana are trying to answer
the biggest questions we have.
"Who am I?
"Where do I come from?
"Where do I fit in?"
HAVANA: My hair is a me...
Look at the curl!
It's a dry curl moment, because I haven't got time to wash it,
cos we've gotta go soon.
Havana's DNA paternity results are due any day now,
so she and Beth are planning distractions.
Where are you going tonight?
We're going to see Divina de Campo!
SHE SCREAMS
Who's Divina de Campo?
Divina de Campo is from season one of UK Drag Race.
She is it. She is everything.
She is stunning.
And she's just - I've heard, like,
she's one of the kindest people ever.
And I've texted her, so I'd know.
Really? Did you get to t...
How'd you get the text...?
Well, cos on Instagram, I said,
"OMG, you are one of my biggest inspirations in the world,
"and thank you for all you have done for our community,
"and thank you for all you've inspired in me."
And she liked that at first.
And then, I was saying that I'll come and see the show.
And she said, "Fab, it's going to be amazing."
She lost her card, she left it in the train station.
And it's just like a genuine conversation, she was just like,
just fuming about it, you know?
Just, like, really casual messages...
I've never been here in my life.
Gay Village - Gay Village is down there,
and I think it's that way.
So, shall we get this meet-and-greet started, then, Birmingham?
APPLAUSE
It is Divina de Campo!
CHEERING
Oh, my goodness. Is this real life?
I'm actually going to cry.
Hi, darling, how are you? Hiya! I'm gr...
I'm just so happy to see you. Nice to finally meet you.
Thank you, I've been waiting forever.
I just wanted to say, like, you really inspired me
to become an AFAB queen.
Can I get, like, an inspirational note or message, if that's OK?
I mean, I will do my best.
HAVANA GIGGLES Oh, my goodness.
I'm getting emotional again, I can't get emotional.
Not today.
Thank you so, so, so much.
Thank you. Are you ready for your photo with her, please?
Yeah, can I get you to grab that quickly? Gorge.
Perfect. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. Darling, thank you so much.
Enjoy the show. Thank you. Ahh!
"You can fly to me..."
SHE GASPS
What does the other bit say? "Fly to the moon."
You know, that's a...
"So proud of you, darling."
SHE SOBS
Divina de Campo's proud of me.
This evening, I am Divina de Campo!
CHEERING
And I will be your...
# Took a ride to the end of the lane
# Where no-one ever goes
# Ended up...
I didn't have that family that supported me growing up.
Doing drag, I've got this whole community filled with people that
have been through similar things, you know, of that neglect of family,
or not understanding who they truly are.
And having that kind of family that I so strongly relate to,
being in drag, is amazing.
# Relax, take it easy
# For there is nothing that we can do
# Relax, take it easy
# Blame it on me or blame it on you...
Birmingham, you have been an absolute treat,
and I'm so grateful for you turning out.
# Relax... #
Havana has received a call.
Aga is coming round with the test results.
Hi! AGA: Hello! Hi, Havana.
Good to see you. You look gorgeous! I love this dress.
Are you ready? I don't know.
Vicky just dropped it off, bless her. Oh!
I was literally like, I don't even know if Aga knows.
But you do, I'm guessing? I do!
Because I see some letters... I do. OK.
NERVOUS LAUGHTER It's a bit nerve-racking...
SHE EXHALES
SHE HUMS DRAMATICALLY
So, it says, like, my, erm, relationship...
Hang on, no, no, I don't want to - I want to do it one at a time,
because I'll freak out, if I'm honest. Erm...
"Test request, second-degree relative.
"Summary - the results...
"..hypothesis that the tested individuals are related!"
Oh, my God, I've waited years for this!
SOBBING: Oh, my God!
You're going to get emotional!
Oh, Aga...
Thank you for all of this.
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till Beverly finds out! Oh, my God.
Wait till Beverly finds...
Oh, my God, this is crazy.
There's a possibility I could meet my whole family now,
this is ridiculous.
It's quite a big moment.
Yeah, I think it will be.
I think it'll be really, kind of, difficult for Kane
to go through them.
I know he's been waiting a long time.
Six months after requesting his files,
Kane has finally received them.
To help him interpret the documents, the service brings in an adviser
who's known him since he was a child.
I am nervous for him just because, you know, I don't want him to read
something that'll upset him or, you know, kind of, make him question
the relationships that he's got in his life.
Not everyone requests their files.
Not everyone wants to know.
And for him to be able to read these files is really brave.
The files contain all of Kane's case notes made by social workers
over the last 19 years.
He wants to know everything.
And, you know, what's led him to be the person that he is today.
All right, let's do it.
Does your family know that you've applied for them, as well?
I told my mum ages ago,
but I haven't actually said anything since.
Yes? Oh, we're in.
We're in. I think we're in.
We're in.
Right, let's have a look.
Well, there's my name. OK.
Erm...
So, this bit here, saying about basic care,
this assessment is saying that your parents are not kind of responding
to your emotional needs - your basic needs are met,
you're fed, you're clean, you've got lots of toys,
but it's your emotional needs.
So, "disagreements between parents are resolved in not right" -
so it's saying that any disagreements, any arguments
results in violence.
Does that make sense? Yeah.
And then, your stepdad came on the scene.
Yeah. Yeah. OK.
Oh, here we go. I haven't seen this before.
Right, OK, that's good. So... HE MUMBLES READING
So, "All the children have made the disclosure to the learning mentor
"then to the social worker that..." I know who that is.
"..hits them with a wooden stick."
"An internal care order was granted because of significant
"historical and current concerns about Ms...
"..ability to meet the needs of her children and put them first."
I would interpret that as..
If they were being hit with a wooden stick at home,
Mum's not able to protect them from that because that's going on.
That might have been, not that your mum wasn't good to you
or didn't care about you, because it says that, you know,
your mum really loved you but struggled to keep you safe.
You know, because she was obviously in not a very good relationship
at the time.
So, it might've been really difficult for her
to get out of that.
I looked after my children very well.
They were always taken to school on time.
They were always clean.
They were always fed well.
The reason I got told why they were taken off me
was because I picked the wrong man.
So, that would've been one of the concerns raised in that meeting.
But can you understand why they were taken off you?
I couldn't at the time, cos of the situation I was in.
But I can understand now that they were just
protecting the children.
And I just feel like I wish now I'd been stronger.
And you're stuck in that relationship.
And this man is telling you that,
you know, they love you.
And even though if they're violent to you, it is very, very hard,
very hard to get out of that relationship.
Morning, Mum.
Good morning. Morning, how... You good? Yeah, good, how are you?
Yeah, I'm good, thank you. That's good.
Yeah, I mean, I can do a bit of shopping for you, if you want.
What does she mean to you, your mum?
She's everything, you know?
End of the day, she's my mum - you only get one mum in life.
How about - I was going to say, I could surprise you, yeah.
All right, cool. Cos I know what you like anyway,
so I'll just get you another.
And you don't want anything to get in the way of that relationship?
No, I don't. Nothing will, you know, even though, you know,
some of them files will say some stuff,
but obviously, whatever, they make my mum look like she's a bad person.
But the way I see it is, she wasn't.
She means a lot to me, and I've got a lot of respect for her.
She's always there. She's been there for me.
Other social workers that have helped people with files,
they've seen family divisions open up on the back of it.
But that doesn't seem to be something that's...
No, that won't happen to me, because me and Mum, we've got a very
good relationship, and I've always said nothing will come between us,
and nothing ever has and will.
You'll never let that happen? No, I won't.
Because I can't afford to lose my mum.
I've already lost my dad.
I can't let a silly thing like files, or anything like that
come between us.
You're absolutely resolute about that, are you? Yeah.
He loves you very deeply, doesn't he? Yeah, he does.
Always rings me every day.
Probably about 3-4 times a day.
I've got my son back, and I don't know,
I'd be lost without him.
He's wonderful.
MUSIC: Want Ads by Honey Cone
# Wanted, young man single and free
# Experience in love preferred
# But will accept a young trainee
# Oh I'm gonna put it in the want ads
# I need a love that's true Gonna put it in the want ads...
Hi, Mum. Got you shopping. Oh, thank you!
That's all right, got you a few bits, some bread...
Oh, lovely, thank you.
Would you like to come in for tea? Yeah, thanks, Mum. Thank you.
# My man is playing the field
# The thrill is gone
# Gonna put it in the want ads... #
Hello!
SHE LAUGHS
You called me at quite a funny moment, I think.
I'm like, "My lips aren't on properly."
Oh, my word!
This is crazy!
You're the first person to see me in real life,
other than the Amazon delivery guy,
in my drag! SHE LAUGHS
I feel very privileged.
This is crazy.
Do you want to come in? Yeah. SHE LAUGHS
Havana is still waiting to see if her birth father,
or his relatives will meet her.
But for now, she's embracing her other new-found family -
her drag family.
Do you feel proud of what you've achieved?
More than anything.
When I look back and think where I was as a child,
and where I am now,
it's like two different people.
I'm just quite lucky to have been born with, like,
quite a positive outlook on life.
You know, I wasn't given that - I wasn't given that positive
outlook by anyone around me.
I've just naturally had that, which I'm quite grateful for.
MUSIC: Free by Florence + The Machine
CHEERING
# Sometimes I wonder if I should be medicated
# If I would feel better just slightly sedated
# A feeling comes so fast and I cannot control it
# I'm on fire, but I'm trying not to show it
# As it picks me up, puts me down
# It picks me up, puts me down
# Picks me up, puts me down...
You should be proud, not pity it. You shouldn't go,
"Oh, I'm sorry that happened to you."
It happened. I'm very open about it, just because if I hide it,
then I'm not being proud of who I am.
# I'm always running from something
# I push it back, but it keeps on coming
# And being clever never got me very far
# Because it's all in my head
# And "You're too sensitive", they said
# I said, "OK, but let's discuss this at the hospital"
# As it picks me up, puts me down
# It picks me up, puts me down
# Picks me up, puts me down
# A hundred times a day
# It picks me up, puts me down
# It chews me up, spits me out
# Picks me up, puts me down
# But I hear the music
# I feel the beat
# And for a moment When I'm dancing, I am free
# I hear the music
# I feel the beat
# And for a moment
# When I'm dancing I am free... #
Subtitles by Red Bee Media