1 00:00:49,514 --> 00:00:50,481 Mom! 2 00:00:52,216 --> 00:00:54,013 Mom! Help me. 3 00:00:57,221 --> 00:00:58,188 What is it? 4 00:00:58,289 --> 00:01:01,122 I wasn't dreaming, Walt. I didn't imagine it. 5 00:01:01,225 --> 00:01:04,353 I heard him. I heard him. I heard him. I heard Chris. 6 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:07,223 - I heard him! - I know. 7 00:01:07,465 --> 00:01:09,956 No. I wasn't imagining it, Walt. 8 00:01:10,401 --> 00:01:12,892 No, I did. He's... He's... 9 00:01:14,138 --> 00:01:16,333 - I heard him! - Billie. 10 00:03:43,321 --> 00:03:45,346 That's about as far as I can get you. 11 00:03:45,456 --> 00:03:47,048 All right. Thank you. 12 00:04:01,005 --> 00:04:04,338 - You left all your shit on my dash. - Keep it. 13 00:04:05,343 --> 00:04:06,810 Suit yourself. 14 00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:08,878 Thanks again. 15 00:04:10,882 --> 00:04:12,713 Hey, hold on a minute. 16 00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:19,889 Here, take these. They'll keep your feet dry. 17 00:04:21,325 --> 00:04:25,193 If you make it out alive, give me a call. My number's inside the boots. 18 00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:26,690 Thanks. 19 00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:05,668 Hello? 20 00:10:11,342 --> 00:10:14,903 Is there anybody here? 21 00:10:17,815 --> 00:10:19,282 Guess not! 22 00:11:27,918 --> 00:11:30,079 Two years he walks the earth. 23 00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:39,660 No phone, no pool, no pets, 24 00:11:40,831 --> 00:11:42,298 no cigarettes. 25 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,411 Ultimate freedom. 26 00:12:03,387 --> 00:12:07,346 An extremist. An aesthetic voyager 27 00:12:09,193 --> 00:12:13,323 whose home is the road. 28 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:17,665 "Hey, listen, old man. Now, don't psychoanalyze me, all right? 29 00:12:18,035 --> 00:12:20,663 "Shut up. I'm taking you out to where we're going." 30 00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:22,329 "Where you going?" 31 00:12:22,539 --> 00:12:25,133 "I told you. We're going nowhere!" 32 00:12:27,745 --> 00:12:33,342 So now, after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. 33 00:12:34,952 --> 00:12:38,183 The climactic battle to kill 34 00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:41,488 the false being within 35 00:12:42,693 --> 00:12:46,561 and victoriously conclude the spiritual revolution. 36 00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:20,856 No longer to be poisoned by civilization, he flees, 37 00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:24,495 and walks alone upon the land to become 38 00:13:25,936 --> 00:13:27,494 lost in the wild. 39 00:13:59,069 --> 00:14:04,097 Hard work and manifold contributions to our community during their time here, 40 00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:08,374 we salute you and offer all of you 41 00:14:08,545 --> 00:14:11,605 one more round of applause and congratulations. 42 00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:21,186 Nina Lynn Lockwynn. 43 00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:29,327 Vanessa Denise Lowery. 44 00:14:33,737 --> 00:14:37,173 Christopher Johnson McCandless. 45 00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:51,549 Regina Victoria McNabb. 46 00:15:14,745 --> 00:15:18,340 I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges. 47 00:15:21,585 --> 00:15:25,578 I see my father strolling out under the ochre sandstone arch, 48 00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:30,119 the red tiles glinting like bent plates of blood behind his head. 49 00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:33,858 I see my mother with a few light books at her hip, 50 00:15:33,964 --> 00:15:37,559 standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks with the wrought-iron gates 51 00:15:37,668 --> 00:15:41,729 still open behind her, its sword-tips black in the May air. 52 00:15:42,739 --> 00:15:44,798 They are about to graduate. 53 00:15:46,043 --> 00:15:50,776 They are about to get married. They are kids. They are dumb. 54 00:15:51,381 --> 00:15:55,408 All they know is they are innocent, they would never hurt anybody. 55 00:15:57,688 --> 00:16:01,351 I want to go up to them and say, "Stop, don't do it. 56 00:16:01,658 --> 00:16:05,185 "She's the wrong woman, he's the wrong man. 57 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:09,556 "You are going to do things you cannot imagine you would ever do. 58 00:16:09,766 --> 00:16:12,826 "You are going to do bad things to children. 59 00:16:12,936 --> 00:16:15,496 "You are going to suffer in ways you never heard of. 60 00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:17,574 "You are going to want to die." 61 00:16:20,077 --> 00:16:24,104 I want to go up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it. 62 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:27,483 But I don't do it. I want to live. 63 00:16:29,519 --> 00:16:33,546 I take them up like the male and female paper dolls, and bang them together 64 00:16:33,657 --> 00:16:38,617 at the hips like chips of flint, as if to strike sparks from them. I say, 65 00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:44,657 "Do what you are going to do and I will tell about it." 66 00:16:45,969 --> 00:16:48,403 Here they are, Walt. Okay? 67 00:16:49,373 --> 00:16:51,034 Who wrote that? 68 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:56,069 Well, could have been either one of us, couldn't it? 69 00:16:56,179 --> 00:16:58,841 Why is he letting Carine drive his car? 70 00:16:59,683 --> 00:17:02,243 There's a lot of great poems in here. 71 00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:09,352 I have to speak to her about it. 72 00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:10,448 Sit down. 73 00:17:11,428 --> 00:17:13,225 Excuse me. I'm going to get my son. 74 00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:16,493 He just graduated today from Emory College. 75 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,862 I'll get it. I'll get it. 76 00:17:17,968 --> 00:17:21,529 Chris, hi! We've been waiting and waiting. 77 00:17:21,638 --> 00:17:26,007 You scared me half to death jumping up there on that stage like that. 78 00:17:27,277 --> 00:17:29,472 - Hi, Dad. - Congratulations, Son. 79 00:17:29,646 --> 00:17:32,979 - This is a big step. - Thank you, Dad. 80 00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:34,847 All right. 81 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:37,988 You're not supposed to be driving in Georgia. 82 00:17:38,221 --> 00:17:39,313 Why? I have my permit. 83 00:17:39,423 --> 00:17:41,618 'Cause it's against the law for a learner's permit 84 00:17:41,725 --> 00:17:45,092 to drive in another state from one's home state. That's why. 85 00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:48,596 I didn't know that. I thought that if I was with a legal driver that it'd be okay. 86 00:17:48,699 --> 00:17:49,666 Well, let's... 87 00:17:59,376 --> 00:18:02,402 - Are they going to continue? - No. 88 00:18:04,748 --> 00:18:07,342 I guess everybody's celebrating today. 89 00:18:07,617 --> 00:18:11,417 - They're going to stay in the bar, right? - That's right. 90 00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:26,462 My grades are good enough, I think, to get into Harvard Law. 91 00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:28,504 Chris, that's wonderful. 92 00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:32,032 That is a big deal. 93 00:18:32,776 --> 00:18:35,438 How much do you have left in the college fund? 94 00:18:35,912 --> 00:18:41,009 Exactly $24,500.68. 95 00:18:41,118 --> 00:18:42,745 Well, that's specific. 96 00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:45,583 I had to go to the bank this morning, Mom. 97 00:18:47,257 --> 00:18:51,421 Your mother and I will be glad to contribute the balance for Harvard. 98 00:18:51,528 --> 00:18:52,961 That's right. 99 00:18:53,296 --> 00:18:54,593 I've got to figure out what I'm going to do. 100 00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:58,134 I've got a lot of things to pack and organize here first. 101 00:18:58,235 --> 00:19:02,695 Your father and I, we want to make a present to you. 102 00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:06,134 We want to get you out of that junker. 103 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,075 What junker? 104 00:19:08,578 --> 00:19:09,806 That. 105 00:19:12,249 --> 00:19:15,548 - We want to buy you a new car. - That's right. 106 00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,118 A new car? 107 00:19:19,389 --> 00:19:21,448 Why would I want a new car? 108 00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:24,220 Datsun runs great. 109 00:19:25,796 --> 00:19:28,560 Do you think I want some fancy boat? 110 00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:33,460 Are you worried what the neighbors might think? 111 00:19:33,637 --> 00:19:36,435 Well, we weren't gonna get you a brand new Cadillac, Chris. 112 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:39,737 We just want to get you a nice new car that's safe to drive. 113 00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:43,370 And you never know when that thing out there just might blow up. 114 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:49,680 Blow up. Blow up? Are you guys crazy? It's a great car. 115 00:19:50,253 --> 00:19:54,451 I don't need a new car. I don't want a new car. 116 00:19:54,858 --> 00:19:56,917 - I don't want anything. - Okay. 117 00:19:57,027 --> 00:20:00,758 - These things, things, things, things. - Okay. 118 00:20:00,864 --> 00:20:02,665 - Everything has to be difficult. - Thank you. 119 00:20:02,732 --> 00:20:04,791 - Thank you. - Maybe that's not what he means. 120 00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:08,530 Maybe he just wants his old car. It's not such a big deal. 121 00:20:10,874 --> 00:20:13,468 Thank you. I just don't want anything. 122 00:20:22,919 --> 00:20:25,285 Chris measured himself and those around him 123 00:20:25,388 --> 00:20:27,913 by a fiercely rigorous moral code. 124 00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:29,116 Bye, Chris! 125 00:20:29,493 --> 00:20:32,553 He risked what could have been a relentlessly lonely path 126 00:20:32,662 --> 00:20:36,359 but found company in the characters of the books he loved 127 00:20:39,002 --> 00:20:43,200 from writers like Tolstoy, Jack London and Thoreau. 128 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:48,003 He could summon their words to suit any occasion, 129 00:20:48,845 --> 00:20:50,540 and he often would. 130 00:21:05,962 --> 00:21:10,956 I forgot to ask what quote he'd have picked for his graduation dinner, 131 00:21:11,067 --> 00:21:14,628 but I had a good idea of who the primary target would be. 132 00:21:19,509 --> 00:21:22,478 It was inevitable that Chris would break away. 133 00:21:24,548 --> 00:21:29,144 And when he did, he would do it with characteristic immoderation. 134 00:22:14,631 --> 00:22:18,965 "It should not be denied that being footloose has always exhilarated us. 135 00:22:20,003 --> 00:22:22,870 "It is associated in our minds with escape 136 00:22:24,074 --> 00:22:27,874 "from history and oppression and law and irksome obligations. 137 00:22:29,412 --> 00:22:31,107 "Absolute freedom. 138 00:22:33,416 --> 00:22:35,782 "And the road has always led west." 139 00:24:36,072 --> 00:24:37,539 I need a name. 140 00:25:06,936 --> 00:25:08,801 Toward the end of June, 141 00:25:08,905 --> 00:25:11,897 Emory had mailed our parents Chris' final grade report. 142 00:25:12,509 --> 00:25:14,067 Almost all A's. 143 00:25:14,544 --> 00:25:17,240 A in Apartheid in South African Society. 144 00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:22,575 A- minus in Contemporary African Politics and the Food Crisis in Africa. 145 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,853 And on it went. Clever boy, my brother. 146 00:25:28,491 --> 00:25:32,154 But by the end of July, we hadn't heard anything from him 147 00:25:32,262 --> 00:25:34,753 and my parents were becoming unsettled. 148 00:25:36,399 --> 00:25:38,731 Chris had never had a phone, 149 00:25:38,835 --> 00:25:42,327 so they decided to drive down to Atlanta and surprise him. 150 00:25:57,454 --> 00:26:00,184 When they arrived at the apartment, there was a "For Rent" sign up 151 00:26:00,290 --> 00:26:03,748 and the manager said that Chris had moved out at the end of May. 152 00:26:03,860 --> 00:26:05,885 Oh, yes. He left two months ago. 153 00:26:06,196 --> 00:26:08,187 So when they got home, 154 00:26:08,298 --> 00:26:12,394 I had to hand them all the letters that they had sent Chris that summer, 155 00:26:13,002 --> 00:26:16,802 which had been returned in a bundle. 156 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:21,404 Chris had arranged for the post office to hold them until August 1st, 157 00:26:21,511 --> 00:26:24,378 to buy himself some time. 158 00:26:25,448 --> 00:26:27,439 Did you know about this? 159 00:26:28,084 --> 00:26:29,949 He didn't say anything. 160 00:26:30,620 --> 00:26:34,147 I understood what he was doing. That he had spent four years 161 00:26:34,257 --> 00:26:38,284 fulfilling the absurd and tedious duty of graduating from college, 162 00:26:40,964 --> 00:26:45,401 and now he was emancipated from that world of abstraction, 163 00:26:45,502 --> 00:26:49,996 false security, parents and material excess, 164 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,840 the things that cut Chris off from the truth of his existence. 165 00:28:09,185 --> 00:28:10,311 Hey! 166 00:28:14,357 --> 00:28:17,190 - Hey, man. Step around. Jump in. - Okay, great. 167 00:28:17,794 --> 00:28:21,025 We barely saw you there underneath that crazy hat of yours. 168 00:28:21,197 --> 00:28:24,860 This door's a little tricky. There you go. Hop in. 169 00:28:28,504 --> 00:28:29,698 That's Rainey. 170 00:28:29,806 --> 00:28:31,501 - Hi, Rainey. - Yeah, I'm Rainey. 171 00:28:31,608 --> 00:28:33,235 - I'm Jan. - Hi. I'm Alex. 172 00:28:33,343 --> 00:28:34,674 Alex with the hat on. 173 00:28:34,777 --> 00:28:36,836 - Yeah, I know. You said it, man. - Yeah. 174 00:28:38,615 --> 00:28:40,549 So you're a leather now. 175 00:28:41,818 --> 00:28:42,876 I'm a leather? 176 00:28:42,986 --> 00:28:48,083 Yeah, a leather tramp. That's what they call the ones that hoof it, go on foot. 177 00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:51,153 Technically we're rubber tramps. 178 00:28:51,260 --> 00:28:53,251 Because we have a vehicle. 179 00:28:54,464 --> 00:28:57,729 - You don't have to push me away. - Come on, please? 180 00:28:59,268 --> 00:29:04,365 Yeah, Alex could have a vehicle as well, but he decided to burn all of his money. 181 00:29:06,676 --> 00:29:08,610 And why did you do that? 182 00:29:10,380 --> 00:29:13,679 I don't need money. Makes people cautious. 183 00:29:16,085 --> 00:29:18,610 Come on, Alex. You gotta be a little cautious. 184 00:29:18,721 --> 00:29:21,781 I mean, that book of yours is cool and everything, 185 00:29:22,091 --> 00:29:25,151 but you can't depend entirely on leaves and berries. 186 00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:29,924 I don't know if you want to depend on much more than that. 187 00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:32,892 Where are your mom and dad? 188 00:29:35,938 --> 00:29:38,099 Living their lies somewhere. 189 00:29:41,144 --> 00:29:43,635 You look like a loved kid. Be fair. 190 00:29:44,847 --> 00:29:45,905 Fair? 191 00:29:46,949 --> 00:29:48,712 You know what I mean. 192 00:29:51,821 --> 00:29:54,016 I'll paraphrase Thoreau here. 193 00:29:55,058 --> 00:29:59,324 "Rather than love, than money, than faith, 194 00:29:59,462 --> 00:30:03,455 "than fame, than fairness, 195 00:30:05,902 --> 00:30:07,460 "give me truth." 196 00:30:28,925 --> 00:30:31,951 From as long ago as Chris and I could remember, 197 00:30:32,128 --> 00:30:35,291 there have been daily bouts of rage in our house. 198 00:30:35,398 --> 00:30:39,858 Violence that we were forced to witness. It was very real. 199 00:30:41,804 --> 00:30:44,364 But it was also like theater. 200 00:30:45,908 --> 00:30:49,844 They cast us as both judges and the accused. 201 00:30:50,213 --> 00:30:55,810 And I got you this token, this expensive token. 202 00:30:56,252 --> 00:30:58,379 Dad had been the young genius 203 00:30:58,488 --> 00:31:03,289 that NASA enlisted to do crucial designs for the American satellite radar systems 204 00:31:03,392 --> 00:31:07,886 that would be our answer to the Russian Sputnik. 205 00:31:07,997 --> 00:31:10,431 And Mom and he later started up a consulting firm 206 00:31:10,533 --> 00:31:13,969 combining her get-up-and-go resourcefulness 207 00:31:14,070 --> 00:31:15,662 with his wealth of knowledge. 208 00:31:15,772 --> 00:31:17,933 Look at this. 209 00:31:21,010 --> 00:31:24,707 But by the time the company actually made its first million, 210 00:31:25,081 --> 00:31:29,814 the careerism and money seemed only to embolden their blindness. 211 00:31:30,486 --> 00:31:32,454 Thank you very, very much. 212 00:31:33,523 --> 00:31:36,048 I remember the first family meeting 213 00:31:36,425 --> 00:31:39,826 to let us in on their plans for getting a divorce. 214 00:31:40,630 --> 00:31:44,031 They wanted us to choose which of them we'd live with. 215 00:31:46,035 --> 00:31:47,866 We cried our eyes out. 216 00:31:50,139 --> 00:31:52,300 The divorce never happened, 217 00:31:53,075 --> 00:31:56,169 but the battles and the meetings never stopped. 218 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,540 It wasn't very long before Chris and I shut off. 219 00:32:02,451 --> 00:32:05,181 We'd say "Go ahead. 220 00:32:06,823 --> 00:32:08,450 "Get the divorce." 221 00:32:09,926 --> 00:32:14,795 Jeez. If I struck a match to you I'd have dinner and warmth at the same time. 222 00:32:15,898 --> 00:32:17,525 Where's Jan going? 223 00:32:20,102 --> 00:32:21,660 Well, my friend, 224 00:32:23,239 --> 00:32:25,730 all is not well on the hippie front. 225 00:32:35,451 --> 00:32:38,545 You're an industrious little fucker, aren't you? 226 00:32:39,822 --> 00:32:41,153 Little bit. 227 00:32:46,162 --> 00:32:50,531 It's funny how things happen at particular times. 228 00:32:52,535 --> 00:32:55,971 I've loved that woman for a lot of years, bro. 229 00:32:58,975 --> 00:33:01,603 But, you know, she's got a story. 230 00:33:02,545 --> 00:33:06,743 We've been going through this thing, real quiet. 231 00:33:09,418 --> 00:33:13,479 So when we ran into you yesterday, 232 00:33:13,990 --> 00:33:17,255 this thing that we've been going through real quiet, 233 00:33:18,361 --> 00:33:21,262 she's talking about it. You know what I mean? 234 00:33:21,797 --> 00:33:24,698 - I think I do. - You think what? 235 00:33:27,637 --> 00:33:28,604 Well... 236 00:33:31,741 --> 00:33:35,643 Some people feel like they don't deserve love. 237 00:33:36,045 --> 00:33:40,414 They walk away quietly into empty spaces, 238 00:33:42,084 --> 00:33:45,144 trying to close the gaps to the past. 239 00:33:45,321 --> 00:33:48,381 That's a hell of an insight. Jesus! 240 00:33:51,394 --> 00:33:54,363 - You're not Jesus, are you? - Look who's talking. 241 00:33:54,463 --> 00:33:59,127 You gonna walk across the water and get her back for me, pal? 242 00:33:59,936 --> 00:34:03,599 No. I'm afraid of water. 243 00:34:04,273 --> 00:34:05,865 Always have been. 244 00:34:06,175 --> 00:34:12,011 Something I've gotta get over sometime though, huh? So I will swim in it 245 00:34:12,348 --> 00:34:15,146 if you'll carry the firewood back to camp. 246 00:34:17,486 --> 00:34:19,078 - Shit, yeah. - Yeah? 247 00:34:19,188 --> 00:34:21,679 - Call it carried. - All right. 248 00:34:56,459 --> 00:34:59,189 "The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, 249 00:35:02,965 --> 00:35:05,866 "and, occasionally, the chance to feel strong. 250 00:35:06,602 --> 00:35:10,231 "Now, I don't know much about the sea, 251 00:35:10,873 --> 00:35:13,899 "but I do know that that's the way it is here. 252 00:35:15,478 --> 00:35:17,946 "And I also know how important it is in life 253 00:35:18,047 --> 00:35:22,074 "not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong, 254 00:35:23,319 --> 00:35:25,810 "to measure yourself at least once, 255 00:35:27,490 --> 00:35:31,927 "to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, 256 00:35:33,596 --> 00:35:36,156 "facing the blind, deaf stone alone 257 00:35:36,799 --> 00:35:40,895 "with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head." 258 00:35:46,142 --> 00:35:48,372 There's a big wave coming! 259 00:35:52,181 --> 00:35:54,706 Rainey, I'm freezing! 260 00:35:55,317 --> 00:35:59,481 Could you put your arms around me? 261 00:36:21,510 --> 00:36:26,106 The Navy bulldozed and abandoned this base down there, 262 00:36:26,215 --> 00:36:33,178 and all that's left is this huge grid of concrete foundations, or slabs. 263 00:36:33,889 --> 00:36:37,689 - Man, you would dig the Slabs. - You would like it. You would like it. 264 00:36:37,793 --> 00:36:39,988 - If you're on the road still. - You'd love it. 265 00:36:40,096 --> 00:36:41,529 Fellow travelers. 266 00:36:41,630 --> 00:36:44,224 Just living on the cheap under the sun. Can't beat it. 267 00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,698 Sounds good. 268 00:36:45,935 --> 00:36:48,529 If you come, I'll make you a proper hat. 269 00:36:48,637 --> 00:36:51,731 - Promise? - I swear to God. 270 00:36:59,482 --> 00:37:02,246 Oh, baby. Baby. 271 00:37:02,718 --> 00:37:05,152 - Stop it. Wait. - Yeah. 272 00:37:07,857 --> 00:37:10,291 - Oh, yes. - Okay. 273 00:37:11,927 --> 00:37:13,622 Let me turn off the light. 274 00:37:55,504 --> 00:37:59,565 - He reminded me of... - I know. 275 00:38:08,417 --> 00:38:11,545 Such is the way of the world 276 00:38:11,687 --> 00:38:14,087 You can never know 277 00:38:16,992 --> 00:38:22,862 Just where to put all your faith And how will it grow? 278 00:38:24,667 --> 00:38:27,329 Gonna rise up 279 00:38:27,436 --> 00:38:32,032 Burning back holes in dark memories 280 00:38:32,841 --> 00:38:35,435 Gonna rise up 281 00:38:35,544 --> 00:38:39,878 Turning mistakes into gold 282 00:38:39,982 --> 00:38:43,611 I mean, you're really good. I mean, you're like 283 00:38:44,887 --> 00:38:49,756 100,000 times better than, like, any apple I've ever had. 284 00:38:51,594 --> 00:38:53,960 I'm not Superman, I'm Supertramp. 285 00:38:56,165 --> 00:38:58,030 You're Superapple. 286 00:38:58,133 --> 00:39:04,834 You're so tasty. You're so organic, so natural. 287 00:39:06,041 --> 00:39:08,134 You're the apple of my eye. 288 00:39:10,512 --> 00:39:17,008 Hey! Such is the passage of time Too fast to fold 289 00:39:18,754 --> 00:39:24,852 And suddenly swallowed by signs Lo and behold 290 00:39:26,195 --> 00:39:28,993 Gonna rise up 291 00:39:29,098 --> 00:39:33,660 Find my direction magnetically 292 00:39:34,336 --> 00:39:36,930 Gonna rise up 293 00:39:37,039 --> 00:39:41,476 Throw down my ace in the hole 294 00:39:43,712 --> 00:39:48,115 In early September, Mom and Dad got a call from the Annandale police 295 00:39:48,217 --> 00:39:50,242 notifying them that Chris' abandoned car 296 00:39:50,352 --> 00:39:53,753 had been identified by the Arizona Highway Patrol. 297 00:39:54,256 --> 00:39:58,420 A group of rare flower hunters stumbled upon it in the desert. 298 00:39:59,795 --> 00:40:03,322 There were no signs that Chris had intended to return to it. 299 00:40:03,432 --> 00:40:06,560 But there wasn't any evidence of struggle, either. 300 00:40:08,504 --> 00:40:10,904 The police thought Chris had chosen to leave it behind 301 00:40:11,006 --> 00:40:13,668 and not that it was taken from him. 302 00:40:17,279 --> 00:40:22,216 The initial comfort that gave Mom and Dad quickly turned 303 00:40:22,318 --> 00:40:27,051 to the realization that Chris was actually trying not to be found. 304 00:41:08,197 --> 00:41:09,562 Strong. 305 00:41:10,866 --> 00:41:15,200 You can do anything. You can go anywhere. 306 00:41:15,971 --> 00:41:22,001 Money, power is an illusion. It's up here. 307 00:41:23,545 --> 00:41:25,103 You can be here. 308 00:41:26,382 --> 00:41:28,873 Me and you. 309 00:41:43,365 --> 00:41:47,893 One, two. No, no, no. 310 00:41:55,644 --> 00:41:57,111 Two, 311 00:42:01,817 --> 00:42:02,943 three... 312 00:42:53,969 --> 00:42:56,301 Don't be shy with it. Get it moving there. That's good. 313 00:42:56,972 --> 00:42:58,633 - That's your speed right here. - Right. 314 00:42:59,741 --> 00:43:01,675 You go too fast, you won't get all the wheat. 315 00:43:02,010 --> 00:43:04,808 That's it, straight line, straight line, little straighter. 316 00:43:04,913 --> 00:43:08,212 See how you're bearing? Just a little straighter. Now you're a combiner. 317 00:43:08,317 --> 00:43:10,376 Wow, look at this view! 318 00:43:10,486 --> 00:43:13,148 But keep your eye on the wheat, here. Make sure you're cutting it. 319 00:43:13,255 --> 00:43:16,418 You can look back here and see how much is coming out, all right. 320 00:43:16,525 --> 00:43:18,152 - How do you feel? - I feel great. 321 00:43:18,260 --> 00:43:21,286 Okay, keep it straight. God bless you. 322 00:43:21,396 --> 00:43:23,694 Make yourself some money, my friend. I'll see you in a little bit. 323 00:43:23,799 --> 00:43:24,823 Okay. 324 00:43:31,607 --> 00:43:35,407 Wayne. Where you going? 325 00:43:54,263 --> 00:43:58,597 Kevin, you know I love you. I'm joking with you. I'm joking. Stop it. 326 00:43:58,734 --> 00:44:01,999 - I'm joking with you. - Mind your own business, Wayne! 327 00:44:02,104 --> 00:44:04,265 - What are you getting so hostile for? - I don't know. 328 00:44:04,373 --> 00:44:06,671 Me and you are on the same side. We're on the same side. 329 00:44:06,775 --> 00:44:09,835 - I'm just tired of the teasing a lot. - Kevin, we're on the same side. 330 00:44:09,945 --> 00:44:14,575 Let me get some... If I want some vagina, let me get it. 331 00:44:14,683 --> 00:44:17,174 - Whoa. He's serious about this. - Let's just play cards. 332 00:44:17,286 --> 00:44:18,844 - Can we just play cards? - Let's go, then. 333 00:44:18,954 --> 00:44:21,684 $2, $4, $6, just put all the money in. 334 00:44:21,790 --> 00:44:23,621 I just wanna see everybody going for broke. 335 00:44:23,725 --> 00:44:26,285 - You want to play? - No. 336 00:44:41,243 --> 00:44:43,040 - Kevin, what have you got for the week? - I got 260. 337 00:44:43,145 --> 00:44:44,840 We're at 260. 338 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,240 We're gonna stay right at 260, that's our number. 339 00:44:53,288 --> 00:44:55,119 We've got 20,000 pounds. 340 00:44:55,223 --> 00:44:59,057 We've got 20,000 pounds we need to get rid of. 341 00:45:01,964 --> 00:45:05,923 Maybe just do all that after lunch before we get back into everything else. 342 00:45:06,034 --> 00:45:09,470 Can we do the $500 reserves... 343 00:45:18,413 --> 00:45:20,904 What do you think about all this? 344 00:45:21,783 --> 00:45:23,341 I like all this. 345 00:45:35,464 --> 00:45:37,796 I don't think he can do it. 346 00:45:40,969 --> 00:45:43,028 Is there a library or bookstore around here 347 00:45:43,138 --> 00:45:45,197 where I can get books on hunting and preserving? 348 00:45:45,307 --> 00:45:47,298 Anything at all to do with hunting or preserving the meat, 349 00:45:47,409 --> 00:45:49,434 smoking it, whatever the hell it is, 350 00:45:49,544 --> 00:45:52,411 talk to Kevin over there. That's your man. 351 00:45:52,781 --> 00:45:55,944 Outdoorsman. What's your fascination with all that stuff? 352 00:45:56,051 --> 00:45:57,643 I'm going to Alaska. 353 00:45:58,020 --> 00:46:00,921 Alaska, Alaska? Or city Alaska? 354 00:46:01,023 --> 00:46:03,548 Because they do have markets in Alaska. 355 00:46:03,659 --> 00:46:06,822 The city of Alaska. Not in Alaska. In the city of Alaska, they have markets. 356 00:46:06,928 --> 00:46:10,159 No, man. Alaska, Alaska. 357 00:46:10,732 --> 00:46:14,498 I'm gonna be all the way out there, all the way fucking out there. 358 00:46:15,237 --> 00:46:16,431 Just on my own. 359 00:46:16,538 --> 00:46:22,033 You know, no fucking watch, no map, no ax, no nothing. No nothing. 360 00:46:22,144 --> 00:46:24,806 Just be out there. Just be out there in it. 361 00:46:24,913 --> 00:46:29,282 You know, big mountains, rivers, sky, game. 362 00:46:29,384 --> 00:46:33,252 Just be out there in it, you know? In the wild. 363 00:46:33,422 --> 00:46:35,322 - In the wild. - Just wild. 364 00:46:35,424 --> 00:46:37,415 - Yeah. - Just... 365 00:46:37,559 --> 00:46:38,583 What are you doing when we're there? 366 00:46:38,694 --> 00:46:40,889 Now you're in the wild, what are we doing? 367 00:46:40,996 --> 00:46:42,122 You're just living, man. 368 00:46:42,230 --> 00:46:45,631 You're just there, in that moment, in that special place and time. 369 00:46:45,734 --> 00:46:46,928 Yeah. 370 00:46:47,069 --> 00:46:49,594 Maybe when I get back, I can write a book about my travels. 371 00:46:49,705 --> 00:46:50,694 Why not? 372 00:46:50,806 --> 00:46:52,865 You know, about getting out of this sick society. 373 00:46:52,974 --> 00:46:55,738 - Society! - Society! 374 00:46:55,844 --> 00:46:57,402 - Society, man! - Society! 375 00:46:57,512 --> 00:46:59,707 - Society! Society! - Society! 376 00:46:59,815 --> 00:47:02,511 Society, you know! Society! 377 00:47:03,351 --> 00:47:05,979 'Cause you know what I don't understand? 378 00:47:06,088 --> 00:47:10,047 I don't understand why people, why every fucking person 379 00:47:10,158 --> 00:47:13,491 is so bad to each other so fucking often. 380 00:47:13,595 --> 00:47:18,726 It doesn't make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. 381 00:47:18,834 --> 00:47:22,600 - Well, it just... - What "people" we talking about? 382 00:47:24,272 --> 00:47:28,971 You know, parents, hypocrites, 383 00:47:29,878 --> 00:47:33,314 politicians, pricks. 384 00:47:34,950 --> 00:47:37,384 This is a mistake. 385 00:47:37,486 --> 00:47:41,149 It's a mistake to get too deep into all that kind of stuff. 386 00:47:43,859 --> 00:47:47,056 Alex, you're a hell of a young guy, a hell of a young guy. 387 00:47:48,697 --> 00:47:50,562 But I promise you this. 388 00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:56,362 You're a young guy! Can't be juggling blood and fire all the time! 389 00:47:56,838 --> 00:48:00,069 - You've got to just kind of... - Wayne, what are you talking about? 390 00:48:00,175 --> 00:48:01,574 - What? - I mean... 391 00:48:01,676 --> 00:48:02,997 I'm talking about blood and fire. 392 00:48:03,044 --> 00:48:05,084 We're talking about trying to juggle blood and fire. 393 00:48:05,180 --> 00:48:06,875 Who are you to be giving advice to anybody anyway? 394 00:48:06,982 --> 00:48:08,543 Who am I to be giving advice to anybody? 395 00:48:08,650 --> 00:48:10,277 - Yes. - Well, it's nice to meet you. 396 00:48:10,385 --> 00:48:12,148 - My name is Mr. Happy. - Mr. Happy. 397 00:48:12,254 --> 00:48:14,484 And Mr. Happy sometimes gives advice. 398 00:48:14,589 --> 00:48:16,614 - Alex, please. - I'm sorry. 399 00:48:16,725 --> 00:48:19,319 Sometimes Mr. Happy... Well, Mr. Happy is always happy. 400 00:48:19,427 --> 00:48:20,860 But you know when he's happiest? 401 00:48:20,962 --> 00:48:22,327 - He's not always happy. - When is he happy? 402 00:48:22,430 --> 00:48:24,955 Are you really gonna say that to me? Come on, tell me about it. 403 00:48:25,066 --> 00:48:26,966 I am going to say that to you. 404 00:48:31,907 --> 00:48:34,375 - Now... - Sit down before you hurt yourself. 405 00:48:34,476 --> 00:48:37,639 One thing that you should try to keep your eye on 406 00:48:38,346 --> 00:48:41,372 is what happened in the late 1940s in Roswell. 407 00:48:55,363 --> 00:48:57,558 When a search of tax records revealed that 408 00:48:57,666 --> 00:49:00,191 Chris had given his life savings to charity, 409 00:49:00,602 --> 00:49:04,902 Mom and Dad became what Dad called "mobilized." 410 00:49:05,006 --> 00:49:09,466 They hired a private investigator and notified law enforcement nationwide, 411 00:49:09,811 --> 00:49:12,143 determined to track him down. 412 00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:17,008 I just figured he'd be with gypsies, far from the eyes of the law. 413 00:49:21,156 --> 00:49:23,488 These are those free satellite TV deals. 414 00:49:23,592 --> 00:49:26,493 You're the one who said it, Alex, not me. 415 00:49:28,763 --> 00:49:31,197 You're gonna need something. What kind of gun you got? 416 00:49:31,299 --> 00:49:35,565 I'm probably gonna get like a.22, I think. A.22 caliber rifle. 417 00:49:37,839 --> 00:49:39,238 All right, then. 418 00:49:39,741 --> 00:49:42,505 When you get your kill, time is of the essence. 419 00:49:42,611 --> 00:49:44,670 Now, the first thing you wanna do is make sure 420 00:49:44,779 --> 00:49:47,771 that you got that meat nice and shaved up. 421 00:49:47,949 --> 00:49:50,440 And you don't have a lot of time to do this. This is about an hour or two. 422 00:49:50,552 --> 00:49:54,454 Depending on the weather. Especially if it's hot, you've got less time to do it. 423 00:49:54,556 --> 00:49:58,720 What you do is you want to make sure that them flies don't land on your meat. 424 00:49:58,827 --> 00:50:02,627 Because once them flies start shitting out larvae and them maggots, 425 00:50:03,365 --> 00:50:07,392 you know, those creepy crawlies, it's too late. It's too late. 426 00:51:14,903 --> 00:51:17,269 You got me. You got me. 427 00:51:23,111 --> 00:51:25,636 I warned Wayne about them little black boxes. 428 00:51:25,847 --> 00:51:29,442 Mr. Westerberg, Scott Baker, FBI. I think you know why we're here. 429 00:51:29,551 --> 00:51:31,712 - Impressive turn-out. - Yeah. 430 00:51:31,820 --> 00:51:34,880 You mind grabbing that zipper for me there? Thank you. 431 00:51:35,657 --> 00:51:36,715 - Let's go. - Sorry, boys. 432 00:51:36,825 --> 00:51:39,055 We're gonna have to shut down for a little while. 433 00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,890 Alex, you come back and work for me any time you want. 434 00:51:41,997 --> 00:51:44,666 Gil's got your checks, guys. I shouldn't be away too long. 435 00:51:44,799 --> 00:51:49,634 Remember Alex, no Alaska till spring. South, kid. You wanna head south. 436 00:52:15,230 --> 00:52:17,596 The year Chris graduated high school, 437 00:52:17,699 --> 00:52:21,066 he bought the Datsun used and drove it cross-country. 438 00:52:22,437 --> 00:52:24,564 He stayed away most of the summer. 439 00:52:25,206 --> 00:52:27,674 Come on. The neighbors are gonna be watching, honey. 440 00:52:27,776 --> 00:52:29,107 Can you spray it? 441 00:52:34,482 --> 00:52:38,578 As soon as I heard he was home, I ran into his room to talk to him. 442 00:52:43,425 --> 00:52:46,986 In California, he'd looked up some old family friends. 443 00:52:47,796 --> 00:52:52,631 He discovered that our parents' stories of how they fell in love and got married 444 00:52:52,734 --> 00:52:55,567 were calculated lies masking an ugly truth. 445 00:52:56,805 --> 00:52:59,467 When they met, Dad was already married. 446 00:53:00,475 --> 00:53:02,739 And even after Chris was born, 447 00:53:02,844 --> 00:53:05,677 Dad had had another son with his first wife, Marcia, 448 00:53:07,048 --> 00:53:09,642 to whom he was still legally married. 449 00:53:11,619 --> 00:53:16,818 This fact suddenly re-defined Chris and me as bastard children. 450 00:53:21,463 --> 00:53:26,196 Dad's arrogance made him conveniently oblivious to the pain he caused. 451 00:53:27,936 --> 00:53:31,997 And Mom, in the shame and embarrassment of a young mistress, 452 00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:35,108 became his accomplice in deceit. 453 00:53:40,582 --> 00:53:44,279 The fragility of crystal is not a weakness but a fineness. 454 00:53:45,487 --> 00:53:48,615 My parents understood that a fine crystal glass had to be cared for 455 00:53:48,723 --> 00:53:51,123 or it may be shattered. 456 00:53:51,226 --> 00:53:55,458 But when it came to my brother, they did not seem to know or care 457 00:53:55,563 --> 00:53:57,793 that their course of secret action 458 00:53:57,899 --> 00:54:01,926 brought the kind of devastation that could cut them. 459 00:54:03,638 --> 00:54:08,234 Their fraudulent marriage and our father's denial of this other son 460 00:54:08,543 --> 00:54:12,707 was, for Chris, a murder of every day's truth. 461 00:54:13,848 --> 00:54:17,682 He felt his whole life turn, like a river suddenly reversing 462 00:54:17,785 --> 00:54:21,812 the direction of its flow, suddenly running uphill. 463 00:54:28,563 --> 00:54:33,159 These revelations struck at the core of Chris' sense of identity. 464 00:54:33,268 --> 00:54:37,261 They made his entire childhood seem like fiction. 465 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,067 Chris never told them he knew 466 00:54:44,445 --> 00:54:46,936 and made me promise silence, as well. 467 00:54:47,782 --> 00:54:49,983 I can't afford four. Who's gonna pay for the fourth one? 468 00:54:50,084 --> 00:54:53,212 Bryan can't afford four. Does it matter? 469 00:54:54,122 --> 00:54:55,612 Can I help you? 470 00:54:55,723 --> 00:54:58,157 Yeah. If I wanted to paddle down the river, 471 00:54:58,259 --> 00:55:00,420 where's the best place to launch out of? 472 00:55:00,528 --> 00:55:01,654 Hang on a second. 473 00:55:01,763 --> 00:55:04,960 "To launch out of?" What's your experience level? 474 00:55:06,134 --> 00:55:09,399 - Not much. - Any? Do you have a permit? 475 00:55:09,504 --> 00:55:11,495 A permit? Permit for what? 476 00:55:12,073 --> 00:55:14,405 You can't paddle down the river without a permit. 477 00:55:14,509 --> 00:55:16,909 If you want, you can apply for one here, get some experience, 478 00:55:16,945 --> 00:55:18,845 and I'll put you on the wait-list. 479 00:55:18,947 --> 00:55:21,609 No, I got this guy in here. We'll figure it out. 480 00:55:21,716 --> 00:55:24,276 There's a wait-list to paddle down a river? 481 00:55:24,385 --> 00:55:25,750 That's right. 482 00:55:26,087 --> 00:55:28,317 - Yeah, it's gonna be... - Well, how long do I have to wait? 483 00:55:28,423 --> 00:55:29,890 Yeah, hang on a second. 484 00:55:29,991 --> 00:55:33,984 Now, the deal is it's gonna be me and you 485 00:55:34,095 --> 00:55:37,428 or it's gonna be me, you and her. 486 00:55:37,532 --> 00:55:42,060 Next available is May 17th, 2003. 487 00:55:42,971 --> 00:55:46,964 Great. Done. The three of us, then. 488 00:55:47,208 --> 00:55:48,641 Twelve years? 489 00:55:49,110 --> 00:55:51,044 - What's that? - Twelve years? 490 00:55:51,246 --> 00:55:52,804 To paddle down a river. 491 00:55:52,914 --> 00:55:54,711 Let me call you back. 492 00:55:55,383 --> 00:55:57,180 You can do that, 493 00:55:57,285 --> 00:56:00,379 or you can join a commercial raft trip, go with a licensed guide. 494 00:56:00,488 --> 00:56:02,251 They may have some last-minute cancellations, 495 00:56:02,357 --> 00:56:04,848 but that's gonna cost you $2,000. 496 00:56:06,661 --> 00:56:08,390 Thank you very much. 497 00:56:46,267 --> 00:56:47,859 Helmet, man! 498 00:57:27,342 --> 00:57:28,536 I'm Supertramp! 499 00:57:41,656 --> 00:57:44,989 "If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, 500 00:57:45,793 --> 00:57:48,318 "the possibility of life is destroyed." 501 00:58:18,926 --> 00:58:20,325 Hello! 502 00:58:22,830 --> 00:58:23,956 Hello. 503 00:58:24,699 --> 00:58:27,133 Come. Join us. 504 00:58:28,403 --> 00:58:29,870 We have hot dogs. 505 00:58:45,319 --> 00:58:46,809 - I'm Mads. - Mads? 506 00:58:46,921 --> 00:58:48,513 - Mads. Hi. - Mads. 507 00:58:48,623 --> 00:58:50,420 - Alex. - Hi, Alex. 508 00:58:50,525 --> 00:58:52,516 Hey. I'm Sonja. 509 00:58:53,361 --> 00:58:54,919 Hey, Alex. 510 00:58:56,364 --> 00:59:00,528 We are from Copenhagen, and you are from the rapids. 511 00:59:01,436 --> 00:59:02,528 I am. 512 00:59:09,710 --> 00:59:11,871 - You're crazy! You're crazy, man. - My God! 513 00:59:11,979 --> 00:59:14,971 Sonja, get away from him. Get away from him. He's crazy! Look, he's crazy. 514 00:59:15,082 --> 00:59:17,243 I'll make you a hot dog. One minute. 515 00:59:20,354 --> 00:59:23,517 I love this. Don't you love this? 516 00:59:23,758 --> 00:59:27,125 You know, this is nature. 517 00:59:36,270 --> 00:59:38,135 So where are you going? 518 00:59:38,806 --> 00:59:41,331 - I haven't decided yet. - Really? 519 00:59:41,442 --> 00:59:44,775 Well, we like it here very much. And it's so good to meet you, man. 520 00:59:44,879 --> 00:59:45,971 So good to meet you. 521 00:59:46,147 --> 00:59:50,106 You know, we went to Los Angeles, and then we went to Las Vegas. 522 00:59:50,218 --> 00:59:55,053 Oh, yeah. Las Vegas is very nice. The universe is so good. 523 00:59:59,994 --> 01:00:02,792 - The universe is very good. - You know what I mean? 524 01:00:02,897 --> 01:00:05,092 - Yeah. - The whole universe. 525 01:00:05,299 --> 01:00:09,565 Just the place. The city, she means. Her English is not very good. 526 01:00:09,737 --> 01:00:14,674 But then we came here. I don't care if she's a little stupid, but I like her. 527 01:00:15,877 --> 01:00:18,477 You know you can actually go all the way down to Mexico from here. 528 01:00:18,546 --> 01:00:19,535 - Yeah? - Yeah. 529 01:00:19,647 --> 01:00:24,175 You can take the kayak, and you can take it all the way around 530 01:00:24,285 --> 01:00:26,651 down to Hoover Dam, you can sail around, 531 01:00:26,754 --> 01:00:31,191 and then from there you can take the river all the way down to Mexico! 532 01:00:31,659 --> 01:00:33,320 - Really? - Yeah. 533 01:00:37,131 --> 01:00:39,065 Come on, come on! 534 01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,898 She's so slow sometimes. 535 01:00:42,937 --> 01:00:46,429 - Here's the map. - But I like her. 536 01:00:49,343 --> 01:00:51,208 - Here. Hoover Dam. - Okay. 537 01:00:51,479 --> 01:00:53,709 About 330 kilometers, I think. 538 01:00:53,814 --> 01:00:56,681 - Miles? - Yeah, miles, about 200 miles. 539 01:00:56,784 --> 01:01:00,811 - Two hundred miles. - Two hundred miles. Yeah, man. 540 01:01:01,355 --> 01:01:02,795 You know, I wonder if I could paddle 541 01:01:02,890 --> 01:01:04,983 all the way down that into the Gulf of California. 542 01:01:05,092 --> 01:01:07,925 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. You know, I will go with you. 543 01:01:08,429 --> 01:01:10,920 I will go with you. We leave Sonja here, and then we take the kayak. 544 01:01:11,032 --> 01:01:13,262 No, no. We go all the way down into Mexico. 545 01:01:13,367 --> 01:01:18,100 You know, because in every man's heart, there is a Mexican mistress. 546 01:01:34,855 --> 01:01:36,550 Oh, man. 547 01:01:37,091 --> 01:01:39,389 I've gotta go, you guys. I'm really sorry. I gotta go. 548 01:01:39,493 --> 01:01:41,324 - What's going on? - Why? 549 01:01:41,429 --> 01:01:45,024 The river patrol's after me. I'm actually not supposed to be here, you know. 550 01:01:45,132 --> 01:01:46,724 You have to have, like, a permit, 551 01:01:46,834 --> 01:01:50,463 it's like a government thing to be here, and I didn't get one. 552 01:01:50,571 --> 01:01:52,436 If you see anybody, any of the rangers or anything, 553 01:01:52,540 --> 01:01:54,405 just tell them you didn't see me, okay? 554 01:01:54,508 --> 01:01:55,566 Okay. 555 01:01:55,676 --> 01:02:00,170 Okay, again, I'm really, really sorry, man. I wish I could stay, you know. 556 01:02:00,281 --> 01:02:01,270 Take care, man. 557 01:02:01,382 --> 01:02:02,406 - All right. Take care, Mads. - Nice to meet you. 558 01:02:02,516 --> 01:02:05,417 - Bye, Alex. - I wish... I wish I could stay. 559 01:02:05,519 --> 01:02:07,783 Say hello to Mexico from me. 560 01:02:10,257 --> 01:02:12,384 Bye, Alex! 561 01:02:44,725 --> 01:02:47,592 It would be Christmas in a couple of months, 562 01:02:47,995 --> 01:02:51,556 and the last news we'd had was about his car being found. 563 01:02:52,266 --> 01:02:56,600 I woke up a couple of days ago, and for the first time, it bothered me 564 01:02:56,704 --> 01:03:00,105 that it wasn't only my parents who hadn't heard from Chris. 565 01:03:00,207 --> 01:03:01,333 Honey? 566 01:03:01,442 --> 01:03:05,936 It's me. I'm sorry. Everything that happened, it's my fault. 567 01:03:07,581 --> 01:03:09,446 Give me another chance. 568 01:03:11,352 --> 01:03:14,788 Please do that... Come on. Do that for me. 569 01:03:17,858 --> 01:03:20,156 Come on. They're calling for another quarter right now, 570 01:03:20,261 --> 01:03:22,821 and I ain't got it, so will you hurry it up? 571 01:03:24,198 --> 01:03:26,257 Come on now, don't hang up on me. 572 01:03:27,201 --> 01:03:30,170 Hey, here's a quarter. 573 01:03:30,271 --> 01:03:31,568 Thank you. 574 01:03:31,839 --> 01:03:35,605 There's a quarter just happened out of the sky, 575 01:03:35,710 --> 01:03:39,077 so I'm on here talking to you again. 576 01:03:40,314 --> 01:03:43,772 I got the quarter now, let's... No, no, no, no, no! 577 01:03:48,656 --> 01:03:52,456 I wondered why he hadn't tried to call in case I might answer. 578 01:03:52,793 --> 01:03:55,284 He could've hung up if it wasn't me. 579 01:03:56,497 --> 01:04:00,092 Why wouldn't he send a letter, maybe through a friend? 580 01:04:00,201 --> 01:04:01,793 It hurt a little, 581 01:04:04,238 --> 01:04:06,832 but I told myself it was good. 582 01:04:08,976 --> 01:04:12,742 He knew I loved him enough to bear with the not knowing. 583 01:04:14,915 --> 01:04:19,215 And it helped me remember that there was something more than rebellion, 584 01:04:19,553 --> 01:04:22,113 more than anger that was driving him. 585 01:04:28,662 --> 01:04:32,393 Chris had always been driven, had always been an adventurer. 586 01:04:46,647 --> 01:04:48,478 When he was four years old, 587 01:04:48,582 --> 01:04:53,576 he once wandered six blocks away from home at 3:00 in the morning. 588 01:05:00,327 --> 01:05:02,625 He was found in a neighbor's kitchen 589 01:05:02,730 --> 01:05:05,927 up on a chair, digging through their candy drawer. 590 01:05:08,435 --> 01:05:13,270 Whatever drawer he was opening now must have something pretty sweet in it. 591 01:07:11,592 --> 01:07:15,494 - You lived in a cave for 36 days? - Yes, sir. 592 01:07:15,629 --> 01:07:17,629 And how did you get into Mexico in the first place? 593 01:07:17,731 --> 01:07:20,256 Through the spillway at Morelos Dam. 594 01:07:20,768 --> 01:07:22,759 River dries out pretty quickly beyond there, doesn't it? 595 01:07:22,870 --> 01:07:27,603 Yeah. Turns into a maze of irrigation canals, thanks to our dams up north. 596 01:07:28,075 --> 01:07:31,943 So I ported my kayak over the desert, and I hitched down to Golfo. 597 01:07:33,180 --> 01:07:37,276 But after a few weeks, a sandstorm came up and blew the kayak away. 598 01:07:37,685 --> 01:07:39,983 So I walked back north. Here I am. 599 01:07:40,087 --> 01:07:43,784 Well, you just can't be crossing the borders without any identification. 600 01:07:43,891 --> 01:07:45,756 - Are we understood? - Yes, sir. 601 01:07:45,859 --> 01:07:48,293 I've eaten enough sand to send me back to the city anyway. 602 01:07:48,395 --> 01:07:51,057 All right. Sit tight. I'll be right back. 603 01:07:52,499 --> 01:07:56,526 Some may ask, "Why act now? Why not wait?" 604 01:07:57,371 --> 01:08:01,068 The answer is clear. The world could wait no longer. 605 01:10:27,755 --> 01:10:29,416 Hi. Do you have the time? 606 01:10:29,924 --> 01:10:31,357 - Time? - Time? 607 01:10:31,459 --> 01:10:32,653 Yeah. 608 01:10:33,995 --> 01:10:35,394 Okay. 609 01:11:16,337 --> 01:11:17,668 Front and back. 610 01:11:17,805 --> 01:11:21,764 I don't have any more clipboards, so get one from the other fellas. 611 01:11:22,043 --> 01:11:23,510 - Next. - Hi. 612 01:11:23,778 --> 01:11:26,144 Can you tell me how to get an ID? 613 01:11:26,347 --> 01:11:29,077 - Did you lose your identification, sir? - Yeah. 614 01:11:29,183 --> 01:11:31,708 No birth certificate? Nothing? 615 01:11:31,986 --> 01:11:33,317 Ouch. 616 01:11:33,421 --> 01:11:37,152 All right. Well, you're gonna have to work that out with the DMV. 617 01:11:37,258 --> 01:11:41,524 You can catch them in the morning. The closest one is Montebello, 618 01:11:42,563 --> 01:11:44,554 and we can help you with the bus voucher. 619 01:11:44,665 --> 01:11:46,724 So just come to this desk when you're ready for the voucher. 620 01:11:46,834 --> 01:11:48,426 - Okay. - What's your name? 621 01:11:48,536 --> 01:11:52,165 - Alexander Supertramp. - What's that? 622 01:11:52,273 --> 01:11:58,143 - Alexander Supertramp. - Supertramp. Really? 623 01:11:58,412 --> 01:11:59,379 Yeah. 624 01:12:00,548 --> 01:12:04,245 Okay, so I'm gonna look for you, Supertramp. I got something for you. 625 01:12:06,787 --> 01:12:09,187 - Here you go, Supertramp. - Thank you very much. 626 01:12:09,290 --> 01:12:10,552 Okay, baby. 627 01:12:10,658 --> 01:12:13,684 - And one last thing. - Yeah. 628 01:12:15,630 --> 01:12:18,030 Do you have a bed for me? I'm sorry... 629 01:12:18,132 --> 01:12:21,932 Oh, no. Sure, I got a bed for you. Sign your name right here. 630 01:12:22,036 --> 01:12:27,201 You fill this out. And I'll set you right up. Now, I'm out of... 631 01:12:27,308 --> 01:12:30,141 - What's going on back there? - I got it. I'm sorry. 632 01:12:30,244 --> 01:12:33,611 - Come on, now. Work with me. - All right. Thanks, ma'am. 633 01:12:33,714 --> 01:12:35,978 Supertramp, huh? 634 01:12:38,953 --> 01:12:40,853 You know the drill. 635 01:13:14,121 --> 01:13:15,611 Move it! 636 01:14:03,237 --> 01:14:05,865 Thanks, but I'm not gonna need that bed after all. 637 01:14:05,973 --> 01:14:08,134 You leaving us so soon? Supertramp! 638 01:15:11,872 --> 01:15:16,172 Show me your face. I never, ever, ever forget a face. 639 01:15:16,610 --> 01:15:19,579 If I see yours again, I won't arrest you, I'll kill you. 640 01:15:19,679 --> 01:15:21,544 This is the goddamned railroad, 641 01:15:21,648 --> 01:15:23,275 and we will do whatever we have to do 642 01:15:23,383 --> 01:15:25,783 to keep you freeloaders from violating our liability. 643 01:15:25,886 --> 01:15:27,114 Yes, sir. 644 01:15:30,891 --> 01:15:32,483 You got any ID? 645 01:15:33,860 --> 01:15:37,057 - No, sir. - Of course you don't. 646 01:15:37,964 --> 01:15:39,727 Last time, my friend. 647 01:15:40,867 --> 01:15:42,164 All clear. 648 01:15:50,210 --> 01:15:51,575 Good boy! 649 01:16:09,663 --> 01:16:12,791 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. Finally! 650 01:16:15,969 --> 01:16:19,097 It's a mystery to me 651 01:16:19,973 --> 01:16:25,309 We have a greed With which we have agreed 652 01:16:26,780 --> 01:16:31,581 You think you have to want more than you need 653 01:16:32,819 --> 01:16:37,483 Until you have it all you won't be freed 654 01:16:40,427 --> 01:16:45,831 Society, you're a crazy breed 655 01:16:46,399 --> 01:16:52,338 I hope you're not lonely without me 656 01:16:55,809 --> 01:17:00,803 When you want more than you have You think you need 657 01:17:01,748 --> 01:17:06,742 And when you think more than you want Your thoughts begin to bleed 658 01:17:08,188 --> 01:17:12,648 I think I need to find a bigger place 659 01:17:13,693 --> 01:17:16,161 'Cause when you have more than you think 660 01:17:16,263 --> 01:17:18,493 You need more space 661 01:17:21,901 --> 01:17:27,271 Society, you're a crazy breed 662 01:17:27,807 --> 01:17:32,744 I hope you're not lonely without me 663 01:17:33,780 --> 01:17:38,683 Society, crazy indeed 664 01:17:39,486 --> 01:17:45,789 I hope you're not lonely without me 665 01:18:35,375 --> 01:18:36,808 Thanks a lot. 666 01:18:46,086 --> 01:18:48,987 In the letters Chris wrote me from college, 667 01:18:49,556 --> 01:18:53,754 it was clear his anguish and problems with Mom and Dad had continued. 668 01:19:03,236 --> 01:19:05,101 He said I was the only person in the world 669 01:19:05,205 --> 01:19:07,833 who could possibly understand what he had to say. 670 01:19:07,941 --> 01:19:10,910 With whose money are you buying all these goddamn presents? 671 01:19:11,010 --> 01:19:13,410 I work. The only reason I'm not talking is because 672 01:19:13,513 --> 01:19:16,274 you're wandering around acting like the big-shot flirt with everybody. 673 01:19:16,282 --> 01:19:19,809 I am making the contacts for this business to work! 674 01:19:19,986 --> 01:19:21,920 You don't care at all about what I do! 675 01:19:22,021 --> 01:19:23,852 I don't even want to talk to you about it anymore! 676 01:19:23,957 --> 01:19:26,983 Don't you walk away from me, woman! Woman! 677 01:19:27,660 --> 01:19:29,992 Kids! Look what your dad is doing to me! 678 01:19:30,196 --> 01:19:33,529 For God's sake, look what your mother is making me do! 679 01:19:33,633 --> 01:19:35,601 Fuck you! I hate you! 680 01:19:38,004 --> 01:19:41,132 There ain't gonna be no party. I'm gonna cancel Christmas this year. 681 01:19:41,274 --> 01:19:44,539 Cancel Christmas? Who do you think you are? God? 682 01:19:44,644 --> 01:19:46,407 That's right! I'm God! 683 01:19:46,546 --> 01:19:49,344 Well, you're not God. You can't cancel Christmas. 684 01:19:49,616 --> 01:19:50,947 That's bullshit! 685 01:21:47,066 --> 01:21:48,556 We're 10 deep! 686 01:21:56,476 --> 01:22:01,243 Alex, I don't mean to be on you about everything. You're doing a great job. 687 01:22:01,481 --> 01:22:05,144 I wanna keep you on and we all wanna help you get to Alaska, 688 01:22:05,852 --> 01:22:08,446 but you've got to start wearing socks. 689 01:22:16,396 --> 01:22:20,093 With almost a year having passed since Chris' disappearance, 690 01:22:20,667 --> 01:22:24,034 my parents' anger, their desperation, 691 01:22:24,137 --> 01:22:26,401 their guilt was giving way to pain. 692 01:22:29,442 --> 01:22:32,036 And pain seemed to bring them closer. 693 01:22:34,414 --> 01:22:36,575 Even their faces had changed. 694 01:23:02,809 --> 01:23:05,243 She convinces herself it's Chris, 695 01:23:06,646 --> 01:23:09,114 that it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 696 01:23:09,115 --> 01:23:10,916 That it's her son whenever she passes a stray. 697 01:23:11,784 --> 01:23:14,150 And I fear for the mother in her. 698 01:23:17,857 --> 01:23:22,817 Instincts that seem to sense the threat of a loss so huge 699 01:23:22,929 --> 01:23:27,593 and irrevocable that the mind balks at taking its measure. 700 01:23:29,836 --> 01:23:34,398 I'd begin to wonder if I can understand all that Chris is saying any longer, 701 01:23:37,610 --> 01:23:40,545 but I catch myself and remember that 702 01:23:40,647 --> 01:23:43,013 these are not the parents he grew up with, 703 01:23:44,317 --> 01:23:48,913 but people softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss. 704 01:23:53,559 --> 01:23:58,587 Still, everything Chris is saying has to be said. 705 01:24:00,366 --> 01:24:04,234 And I trust for him that everything he is doing has to be done. 706 01:24:06,039 --> 01:24:07,631 This is our life. 707 01:25:15,374 --> 01:25:18,969 Big game. Very big game. 708 01:25:19,445 --> 01:25:20,605 Got it. 709 01:27:11,591 --> 01:27:12,922 Damn it! 710 01:27:17,296 --> 01:27:18,593 Get off! 711 01:28:01,540 --> 01:28:04,941 "Hey, Dad, can I light the barbeque, please, Dad, this time?" 712 01:28:05,578 --> 01:28:07,045 "Well, Son, you can go get the lighter fluid." 713 01:28:07,146 --> 01:28:09,580 "Come on, Dad. Please, Dad, please?" 714 01:28:10,316 --> 01:28:12,876 "Well, why not, Walt? That sounds like a good idea..." 715 01:28:12,985 --> 01:28:14,850 "Shut up, Carine! Shut up, Carine! 716 01:28:14,954 --> 01:28:19,414 "No, Billie. I told you once. Don't make me tell you again. Okay? 717 01:28:19,792 --> 01:28:21,419 "Okay? 718 01:28:21,727 --> 01:28:23,388 "You hear me? You hear me, woman? 719 01:28:23,496 --> 01:28:26,431 "You hear me, woman? Huh? You hear me, woman?" 720 01:28:28,834 --> 01:28:34,204 "Sorry. Sorry, Walt. I'm sorry." 721 01:28:47,453 --> 01:28:48,613 Shit. 722 01:28:54,727 --> 01:29:01,792 No! No! Damn it! 723 01:29:02,335 --> 01:29:04,997 God damn it! Fuck! 724 01:29:48,381 --> 01:29:53,444 "There was clearly felt the presence of a force not bound to be kind to man. 725 01:29:54,754 --> 01:29:58,246 "It was a place of heathenism and superstitious rites, 726 01:29:59,625 --> 01:30:02,992 "to be inhabited by men nearer of kin to the rocks 727 01:30:03,262 --> 01:30:05,753 "and to the wild animals than we." 728 01:30:28,454 --> 01:30:29,648 Sunni. 729 01:30:30,189 --> 01:30:33,181 Hey, Sunni! Come here, baby. 730 01:30:38,764 --> 01:30:41,358 No. No! 731 01:31:15,034 --> 01:31:18,333 But now all I'm focused on is just Alaska. 732 01:31:18,437 --> 01:31:19,995 - Yeah. - Alaska. 733 01:31:21,974 --> 01:31:24,966 All right. Let's hear it for Insane Cain! 734 01:31:28,447 --> 01:31:30,815 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 735 01:31:30,816 --> 01:31:32,576 Let's give it up for Slab City's own Tracy T! 736 01:31:40,292 --> 01:31:42,192 Hey. My name's Tracy. 737 01:31:42,294 --> 01:31:44,057 - Tracy! - Yeah! 738 01:32:14,160 --> 01:32:16,754 Jack London is king. 739 01:32:17,930 --> 01:32:20,023 Hey, you gonna stay with us long? 740 01:32:20,833 --> 01:32:22,994 Well, I'm waiting on a check from my last job 741 01:32:23,102 --> 01:32:25,434 to come into Salton City the day after Christmas. 742 01:32:25,538 --> 01:32:28,336 I've got to start thinking about getting ready for Alaska. 743 01:32:28,440 --> 01:32:32,968 When the sun gets a little lower tonight, I'm going to start a calisthenics routine. 744 01:32:33,345 --> 01:32:36,075 After the check comes in, I think I'm gonna try to find 745 01:32:36,182 --> 01:32:39,481 some big old mountains I can climb every day until spring comes. 746 01:32:39,585 --> 01:32:41,712 I've got to see how far the money's gonna go. 747 01:32:41,820 --> 01:32:45,347 I've still got a lot of supplies to pick up before spring. 748 01:32:46,258 --> 01:32:50,752 So, I might get another job or I might be okay. 749 01:32:51,330 --> 01:32:55,494 Hell, we'd give you a little something for the days you spend in the booth here. 750 01:32:55,601 --> 01:32:58,035 I'm not taking any money from you, Rainey. 751 01:32:58,537 --> 01:33:01,438 It's been a real great twist meeting you two. 752 01:33:01,540 --> 01:33:03,701 You two look like you're doing good. 753 01:33:04,043 --> 01:33:06,011 - We are doing good. - Yeah? 754 01:33:06,111 --> 01:33:07,271 We're doing real good. 755 01:33:08,013 --> 01:33:10,982 Speaking of which, don't you think 756 01:33:11,083 --> 01:33:15,383 you ought to introduce yourself to our little Joni Mitchell over there? 757 01:33:19,858 --> 01:33:20,825 I... 758 01:33:55,661 --> 01:33:58,186 - Hi. - Hi. 759 01:34:03,869 --> 01:34:05,803 You selling these books? 760 01:34:06,105 --> 01:34:08,903 I am. We are. 761 01:34:10,209 --> 01:34:11,506 He was. 762 01:34:15,281 --> 01:34:16,771 I like to read. 763 01:34:17,650 --> 01:34:20,141 - Do you? - Yeah. 764 01:34:20,853 --> 01:34:22,616 That's good. 765 01:34:23,856 --> 01:34:27,519 I heard you play your song last night. 766 01:34:28,761 --> 01:34:33,460 - I'm terrible. - You are not terrible. You sing sweet. 767 01:34:34,333 --> 01:34:35,630 Thank you. 768 01:34:39,071 --> 01:34:42,199 I was gonna go take a walk to Salvation Mountain. 769 01:34:42,908 --> 01:34:45,638 - You wanna go? - Okay. 770 01:34:54,119 --> 01:34:56,485 - Hi. - Hi. Alex. 771 01:34:57,323 --> 01:35:03,057 I'd like to show you around up here. I've been here since 1984, more or less. 772 01:35:05,864 --> 01:35:07,593 A lot of tourists come in here 773 01:35:07,700 --> 01:35:11,466 and they look at that car door up there. They really like it. 774 01:35:12,371 --> 01:35:16,364 And I found car doors and put them up there and I bolted it all in. 775 01:35:16,475 --> 01:35:17,995 Where did you get the telephone poles? 776 01:35:18,043 --> 01:35:20,876 A lot of people in the valley just love me a lot. 777 01:35:21,013 --> 01:35:23,538 Everybody now, I think, in the whole world is just loving me. 778 01:35:23,649 --> 01:35:26,846 And I want to have the wisdom to love them back. 779 01:35:27,920 --> 01:35:30,514 And that's about it. So I really get excited. 780 01:35:30,622 --> 01:35:32,283 You really believe in love, then. 781 01:35:32,391 --> 01:35:34,723 Yeah. Totally. 782 01:35:35,427 --> 01:35:40,296 This is a love story that is staggering to everybody in the whole world. 783 01:35:40,399 --> 01:35:43,232 That God really loves us a lot. 784 01:35:44,303 --> 01:35:45,770 Does that answer that? 785 01:35:45,871 --> 01:35:47,463 - Yeah. - Good. 786 01:35:49,475 --> 01:35:53,707 I really love it here. I think the freedom of this place is just so beautiful. 787 01:35:53,812 --> 01:35:57,714 To me, I wouldn't move for $10 million, unless I had to. 788 01:35:59,551 --> 01:36:03,214 So I'm contented here in the desert, and I'm living where I want to live. 789 01:36:03,489 --> 01:36:08,984 And I think good gets better. And I think those great big tanks there 790 01:36:09,094 --> 01:36:12,689 were the sewer plant for the Marine base in World War II. 791 01:36:15,334 --> 01:36:17,996 If you want to, you can try putting your hands in there. 792 01:36:18,103 --> 01:36:21,266 And I'm gonna do the same thing, just for the fun. 793 01:36:21,974 --> 01:36:23,839 You're doing real good. 794 01:36:27,279 --> 01:36:30,612 You can wipe your hands off on my shirt if you want. 795 01:36:50,969 --> 01:36:53,460 This is starting to make me hungry. 796 01:36:54,273 --> 01:36:58,300 I was just a couple of years older than Tracy when I got pregnant. 797 01:37:02,181 --> 01:37:03,739 - Wow. - Yeah. 798 01:37:05,584 --> 01:37:09,680 Yeah, I thought my husband and I were going to just make peace on Earth 799 01:37:10,489 --> 01:37:13,253 and babies and love and stay together forever, 800 01:37:15,828 --> 01:37:18,661 and that didn't quite work out that way. 801 01:37:18,764 --> 01:37:21,324 He left me. 802 01:37:25,537 --> 01:37:27,198 So, I... 803 01:37:29,208 --> 01:37:30,197 Anyway, whatever, 804 01:37:30,309 --> 01:37:35,303 but I ended up raising Reno on my own. That's my boy, his name's Reno. 805 01:37:36,982 --> 01:37:38,643 Then I met Rainey. 806 01:37:39,852 --> 01:37:42,878 That was sweet. It was really good for a while. It's just... 807 01:37:47,960 --> 01:37:52,556 You know, Reno was a teenager already by then, 808 01:37:52,698 --> 01:37:55,861 and he was just on his way to becoming his own man. 809 01:38:00,506 --> 01:38:05,967 And I haven't even heard from him in two years. 810 01:38:09,748 --> 01:38:11,943 I don't even know where he is. 811 01:38:12,518 --> 01:38:14,918 I hope I get to meet him sometime. 812 01:38:17,356 --> 01:38:19,722 Do your folks know where you are? 813 01:38:24,663 --> 01:38:27,723 Hey, guys? Dinner's ready if you guys are hungry. 814 01:38:27,833 --> 01:38:31,564 Yeah, we are. We're hungry. 815 01:38:35,140 --> 01:38:36,732 I'll be all right. 816 01:38:47,586 --> 01:38:49,281 You want to come and eat? 817 01:38:49,888 --> 01:38:53,289 Or we'll sit here. Because I will sit here with you all night. 818 01:38:58,564 --> 01:39:00,054 Let's go. Let's go. 819 01:39:02,734 --> 01:39:04,793 Guys, come on. It's getting cold. 820 01:39:08,473 --> 01:39:13,570 Check this out. Tawdry? Denise, that sounds like your cup of tea. 821 01:39:43,408 --> 01:39:47,367 That poor girl is about ready to vault herself onto a fence post. 822 01:39:48,246 --> 01:39:52,546 And here you are, the monk of Jack fucking LaLanne. 823 01:39:59,458 --> 01:40:00,124 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 824 01:40:00,125 --> 01:40:03,458 - So Jan talked to you about Reno, huh? - Yeah. 825 01:40:06,498 --> 01:40:10,195 Children can be pretty harsh when it comes to their parents. 826 01:40:10,769 --> 01:40:12,930 You planning on seeing yours? 827 01:40:15,240 --> 01:40:17,538 I've only got one plan, Rainey. 828 01:40:18,644 --> 01:40:21,272 That would be Alaska? 829 01:40:21,513 --> 01:40:22,912 Alaska. 830 01:40:34,459 --> 01:40:35,585 Hello? 831 01:40:37,295 --> 01:40:40,287 - Merry Christmas. - Come in here. 832 01:40:49,474 --> 01:40:51,499 My parents went into town. 833 01:40:53,211 --> 01:40:54,200 No. 834 01:40:54,546 --> 01:40:57,674 Yeah. They went to call my grandma for Christmas. 835 01:40:58,417 --> 01:41:00,510 No, I mean we can't do that. 836 01:41:01,787 --> 01:41:02,981 Why not? 837 01:41:10,228 --> 01:41:11,786 How old are you? 838 01:41:12,764 --> 01:41:13,992 Eighteen. 839 01:41:17,135 --> 01:41:18,602 Seventeen. 840 01:41:20,472 --> 01:41:22,406 What year were you born? 841 01:41:29,281 --> 01:41:30,873 So I'm 16. 842 01:41:45,030 --> 01:41:47,430 You want to do something together? 843 01:43:01,439 --> 01:43:06,069 You can send mail to this address in South Dakota. 844 01:43:07,746 --> 01:43:12,080 I don't know when I'm going to get it, but I'll get it. 845 01:43:16,421 --> 01:43:18,150 You're pretty magic. 846 01:43:18,290 --> 01:43:20,918 - Yeah? - Yeah. 847 01:43:22,894 --> 01:43:24,521 And just remember 848 01:43:24,930 --> 01:43:29,390 if you want something in life, reach out and grab it. 849 01:43:50,755 --> 01:43:52,746 - You take care, kiddo. - You, too. 850 01:43:55,093 --> 01:43:58,119 - New Year's resolution? - We'll work on it. 851 01:45:05,997 --> 01:45:08,761 Just get your pack and get on out of here, okay? 852 01:45:09,935 --> 01:45:12,301 I don't think I could take a hug. 853 01:45:27,018 --> 01:45:27,985 Hey. 854 01:45:40,598 --> 01:45:41,622 Bye! 855 01:45:56,514 --> 01:46:01,076 A year and a half had passed in what Dad called "suspended animation." 856 01:46:08,693 --> 01:46:14,563 The weight of Chris' disappearance had begun to lay down on me full-length. 857 01:46:25,944 --> 01:46:28,139 "I have lived through much, 858 01:46:29,247 --> 01:46:32,944 "and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. 859 01:46:36,788 --> 01:46:39,484 "A quiet secluded life in the country, 860 01:46:41,393 --> 01:46:46,126 "with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, 861 01:46:47,932 --> 01:46:51,368 "and who are not accustomed to have it done to them. 862 01:46:53,238 --> 01:46:56,332 "And work which one hopes may be of some use. 863 01:46:58,009 --> 01:47:02,309 "Then rest, nature, books, music, 864 01:47:03,048 --> 01:47:05,039 "love for one's neighbor. 865 01:47:09,020 --> 01:47:11,454 "Such is my idea of happiness. 866 01:47:14,392 --> 01:47:20,956 "And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, 867 01:47:22,167 --> 01:47:24,101 "and children perhaps. 868 01:47:26,004 --> 01:47:28,802 "What more can the heart of a man desire?" 869 01:47:37,148 --> 01:47:41,551 Comes the morning when I can feel 870 01:47:41,653 --> 01:47:45,987 That there's nothing left to be concealed 871 01:47:46,091 --> 01:47:50,528 Moving on a scene surreal 872 01:47:50,628 --> 01:47:56,692 But my heart will never Never be far from here 873 01:47:56,801 --> 01:48:01,101 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 874 01:48:01,206 --> 01:48:02,773 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 875 01:48:02,774 --> 01:48:05,675 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 876 01:48:05,777 --> 01:48:10,407 I leave here believing More than I had 877 01:48:10,515 --> 01:48:14,144 And there's a reason I will 878 01:48:14,252 --> 01:48:18,416 A reason I'll be back 879 01:48:22,060 --> 01:48:26,429 As I walk the hemisphere 880 01:48:26,531 --> 01:48:30,865 I got my wish to up and disappear 881 01:48:30,969 --> 01:48:35,303 I've been wounded I've been healed 882 01:48:35,406 --> 01:48:38,500 Now for landing I've been 883 01:48:38,610 --> 01:48:41,511 Landing I've been cleared 884 01:48:41,613 --> 01:48:46,141 Sure as I'm breathing Sure as I'm sad 885 01:48:46,251 --> 01:48:50,585 I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh 886 01:48:50,688 --> 01:48:55,125 I leave here believing More than I had 887 01:48:55,226 --> 01:48:59,219 This love has got no ceiling 888 01:52:06,951 --> 01:52:08,578 Where's your camp? 889 01:52:09,420 --> 01:52:11,911 Just out past Oh-My-God Hot Springs. 890 01:52:12,757 --> 01:52:15,817 I've lived in and around here for six years now 891 01:52:16,394 --> 01:52:18,453 and I've never heard of any place that goes by that name. 892 01:52:18,563 --> 01:52:21,498 - Show me how to get there. - Yeah. 893 01:52:25,169 --> 01:52:27,763 - Ron Franz. - Alex. 894 01:52:27,939 --> 01:52:29,736 Alex? Where you from, Alex? 895 01:52:30,675 --> 01:52:34,634 - West Virginia. - Okay, Alex from West Virginia. 896 01:53:19,724 --> 01:53:24,423 Well, this is something out here. 897 01:53:29,367 --> 01:53:30,561 Don't you... 898 01:53:31,602 --> 01:53:36,301 Don't you worry about those dope smokers and nudists down below there? 899 01:53:36,407 --> 01:53:40,207 No, they keep to themselves pretty much. 900 01:53:40,311 --> 01:53:43,576 You strike me as a bright young man. Am I wrong about that? 901 01:53:44,849 --> 01:53:47,249 I think I've got my head on my shoulders pretty good. 902 01:53:47,351 --> 01:53:49,046 Well, that's what I mean. 903 01:53:53,758 --> 01:53:55,817 How long you been out here? 904 01:53:57,462 --> 01:54:00,659 - Couple of weeks. - And before that? 905 01:54:01,165 --> 01:54:04,293 A lot of places. Been moving around a lot. 906 01:54:05,470 --> 01:54:08,633 - Well, how old are you? - Twenty-three. 907 01:54:09,607 --> 01:54:10,835 Twenty-three years old! 908 01:54:10,942 --> 01:54:13,934 Son, don't you think you ought to be getting an education? 909 01:54:14,045 --> 01:54:16,980 And a job? And making something of this life? 910 01:54:20,251 --> 01:54:21,809 Look, Mr. Franz, 911 01:54:23,020 --> 01:54:26,888 I think careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one. 912 01:54:27,892 --> 01:54:31,658 You don't need to worry about me. I have a college education. 913 01:54:31,963 --> 01:54:36,093 I'm not destitute. I'm living like this by choice. 914 01:54:37,802 --> 01:54:42,136 - In the dirt? - Yeah, in the dirt. 915 01:54:46,477 --> 01:54:50,140 - Where's your family? - Don't have one anymore. 916 01:54:53,518 --> 01:54:55,008 That's a shame. 917 01:54:58,356 --> 01:55:01,052 Hey, Mr. Franz, I want to show you something. 918 01:55:01,826 --> 01:55:03,020 Come on. 919 01:55:05,830 --> 01:55:07,024 Come on. 920 01:55:32,690 --> 01:55:38,060 It's getting a little steep. A little high for me, kid. 921 01:55:39,564 --> 01:55:41,054 All right, 922 01:55:42,366 --> 01:55:45,631 but even from halfway out, it's quite a sight, isn't it? 923 01:55:47,705 --> 01:55:52,506 From the top, you can see all the way to the Salton Sea, too. 924 01:55:53,210 --> 01:55:55,610 You can see the Salton Sea from up there? 925 01:55:55,947 --> 01:55:57,175 Yes, sir. 926 01:55:58,015 --> 01:55:59,380 My goodness. 927 01:56:00,484 --> 01:56:05,285 - You don't want to go up? - Nope. I don't do these kind of things. 928 01:56:08,960 --> 01:56:11,326 I spent most of my life in the Army. 929 01:56:14,198 --> 01:56:18,897 New Year's Eve, 1957, I was stationed in Okinawa. 930 01:56:20,438 --> 01:56:24,431 My wife and son were here in the States just driving down the road, 931 01:56:24,542 --> 01:56:28,034 and some fella who'd had too much to drink plowed right into them. 932 01:56:28,613 --> 01:56:30,604 Killed them both. 933 01:56:35,019 --> 01:56:40,116 Now you might think the last thing I would do in the world 934 01:56:42,994 --> 01:56:44,723 is go to the whiskey. 935 01:56:46,497 --> 01:56:50,661 But at the time, it felt like the only thing I could do. 936 01:56:50,768 --> 01:56:53,362 And I did it hard! 937 01:56:56,407 --> 01:56:58,875 But pretty soon I realized 938 01:56:59,644 --> 01:57:03,876 I wasn't doing my wife and son any good mourning them with the bottle. 939 01:57:04,281 --> 01:57:08,308 So I pulled myself together and I quit drinking, 940 01:57:08,986 --> 01:57:10,351 cold turkey. 941 01:57:11,656 --> 01:57:16,025 So since all that, this is pretty much me. 942 01:57:17,361 --> 01:57:19,556 Do you ever travel, Mr. Franz? 943 01:57:20,631 --> 01:57:23,691 No, I can't seem to get too far from my leather. 944 01:57:25,436 --> 01:57:29,964 I do a lot of leather engraving. I got a little workshop out in the garage. 945 01:57:30,341 --> 01:57:32,536 Between that and my pension, I do pretty well. 946 01:57:32,643 --> 01:57:35,168 But every time I think I might take a trip somewhere, 947 01:57:35,279 --> 01:57:38,874 I get too far behind on orders and such to consider it. 948 01:57:39,784 --> 01:57:42,446 When we finish eating, I'd love to see your workshop. 949 01:57:42,553 --> 01:57:43,952 - Would you? - Oh, yeah. 950 01:57:44,055 --> 01:57:45,818 I was hoping you'd say that. 951 01:57:45,923 --> 01:57:48,858 - It's amazing how malleable this is. - Yeah, it is. 952 01:57:48,959 --> 01:57:50,654 When the leather is wet you can really... 953 01:57:50,761 --> 01:57:52,058 - It's like butter. - Yeah. 954 01:57:52,163 --> 01:57:55,655 It's amazing. And then it hardens up, and, I mean, it stays right there. 955 01:58:40,778 --> 01:58:46,375 A good whack with the mallet. Crack it down. Whack. Bang. 956 01:59:46,777 --> 01:59:50,440 I went to South Dakota. I worked at a grain elevator 957 01:59:50,548 --> 01:59:53,039 for this guy named Wayne. He was a really good guy. 958 01:59:53,150 --> 01:59:54,742 So I took the Colorado River 959 01:59:54,852 --> 01:59:58,117 all the way down through the Grand Canyon and did rapids, 960 01:59:58,222 --> 02:00:01,817 which is by far one of the scariest things I've ever done. 961 02:00:01,959 --> 02:00:07,295 And I took the Colorado down into Mexico, Golfo, where I got stuck. 962 02:00:08,232 --> 02:00:10,530 Salvation Mountain. The Slabs. 963 02:00:12,269 --> 02:00:14,362 What's the "N" stand for? 964 02:00:16,006 --> 02:00:17,132 North. 965 02:00:18,475 --> 02:00:20,102 Alaska? 966 02:00:23,147 --> 02:00:25,615 Son, what the hell are you running from? 967 02:00:26,784 --> 02:00:29,218 You know, I can ask you the same question! 968 02:00:30,287 --> 02:00:32,653 Except I already know the answer! 969 02:00:33,524 --> 02:00:35,014 You do, do you? 970 02:00:35,793 --> 02:00:39,991 I do, Mr. Franz! You got to get back out in the world! 971 02:00:40,831 --> 02:00:44,028 Get out of that lonely house, that little workshop of yours. 972 02:00:44,134 --> 02:00:48,127 Get back out on the road! Really! 973 02:00:49,073 --> 02:00:51,667 You're going to live a long time, Ron! 974 02:00:51,775 --> 02:00:55,006 You should make a radical change in your lifestyle! 975 02:00:55,713 --> 02:00:59,615 I mean, the core of man's spirit comes from new experiences. 976 02:01:00,184 --> 02:01:04,348 And there you are, stubborn old man, sitting on your butt. 977 02:01:05,522 --> 02:01:08,320 - Sitting on my butt? - Yeah. 978 02:01:09,927 --> 02:01:14,296 I'll show you sitting on my butt! 979 02:01:14,431 --> 02:01:16,422 "Stubborn old man." 980 02:01:17,935 --> 02:01:19,527 I'll show you! 981 02:01:20,070 --> 02:01:22,265 Come on, then! Come on. 982 02:01:25,242 --> 02:01:28,336 Sitting on my butt? Yeah. 983 02:01:30,481 --> 02:01:32,608 Come on, old man. Come climbing. 984 02:01:32,716 --> 02:01:34,411 Sitting on my butt. 985 02:01:34,785 --> 02:01:36,252 Come on. Keep going! 986 02:01:40,124 --> 02:01:41,819 You're doing great! 987 02:01:46,664 --> 02:01:49,258 - Keep going. Keep going, Ron! - Yeah! 988 02:01:51,068 --> 02:01:54,799 Can anybody see this? God, are you watching this right now? 989 02:02:03,013 --> 02:02:04,071 Yeah. 990 02:02:07,184 --> 02:02:11,450 - You all right? - You little pinhead! 991 02:02:29,039 --> 02:02:31,303 I'm gonna miss you when you go. 992 02:02:32,977 --> 02:02:36,640 I'll miss you, too, Ron. But you're wrong if you think 993 02:02:36,747 --> 02:02:40,683 that the joy of life comes principally from human relationships. 994 02:02:41,719 --> 02:02:44,017 God's placed it all around us. It's in everything. 995 02:02:44,121 --> 02:02:46,453 It's in anything we can experience. 996 02:02:47,358 --> 02:02:50,850 People just need to change the way they look at those things. 997 02:02:50,961 --> 02:02:53,122 Yeah, I'm gonna take stock of that. 998 02:02:55,065 --> 02:02:56,293 No, I am. 999 02:03:00,537 --> 02:03:00,871 I am. 1000 02:03:00,872 --> 02:03:01,599 I am. 1001 02:03:04,008 --> 02:03:06,169 But I wanted to tell you something. 1002 02:03:09,980 --> 02:03:12,676 From the bits and pieces I put together, 1003 02:03:12,816 --> 02:03:16,843 you know, from what you told me about your family, your mother and your dad. 1004 02:03:18,889 --> 02:03:22,222 And I know you've got your problems with the church, too. 1005 02:03:24,161 --> 02:03:27,858 But there's some kind of bigger thing we can all appreciate, 1006 02:03:28,932 --> 02:03:32,095 and it sounds like you don't mind calling it God. 1007 02:03:38,208 --> 02:03:41,109 But when you forgive, 1008 02:03:43,380 --> 02:03:44,608 you love. 1009 02:03:48,385 --> 02:03:51,411 And when you love, 1010 02:03:52,256 --> 02:03:54,816 God's light shines on you. 1011 02:03:59,563 --> 02:04:03,226 - Holy shit. - I told you about that language. 1012 02:04:13,444 --> 02:04:14,934 I told you so! 1013 02:04:17,848 --> 02:04:21,340 Where are the fucking animals now? I'm hungry! 1014 02:04:21,518 --> 02:04:25,682 I'm fucking hungry! I'm fucking hungry! 1015 02:04:42,773 --> 02:04:46,504 "For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. 1016 02:04:47,411 --> 02:04:51,108 "She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment, 1017 02:04:51,215 --> 02:04:54,013 "and to call each thing by its right name." 1018 02:04:57,354 --> 02:04:58,981 "By its right name." 1019 02:04:59,790 --> 02:05:02,088 What is this? What is this one? 1020 02:05:05,195 --> 02:05:10,098 This is Viburnum edule. Viburnum edule. 1021 02:05:14,972 --> 02:05:17,941 Hedysarum alpinum. 1022 02:05:20,077 --> 02:05:24,741 Hedysarum alpinum is wild potato root. Wild potato root. 1023 02:05:27,050 --> 02:05:30,645 Epilobium angustifolium. Fireweed. 1024 02:08:26,096 --> 02:08:28,963 Fuck it all. Fuck it all! 1025 02:11:07,424 --> 02:11:08,413 Hi. 1026 02:11:08,525 --> 02:11:11,653 What are you doing up? It's 3:30 in the morning. 1027 02:11:12,062 --> 02:11:15,225 I heard you get off the couch about a half hour ago. 1028 02:11:16,533 --> 02:11:20,230 Had a funny feeling you might not be here for our breakfast. 1029 02:11:24,474 --> 02:11:29,343 I'm gonna drive you 100 miles to someplace where you can catch a train, 1030 02:11:30,146 --> 02:11:34,810 a plane or hitch a ride and not get stuck out in this desert. 1031 02:11:36,086 --> 02:11:40,022 I'd take you all the way to Alaska if I didn't have an 8:00 mass. 1032 02:11:40,423 --> 02:11:43,790 - Ron, you don't have to do that. - I want to do it. 1033 02:11:44,694 --> 02:11:47,663 Get you started on this thing of yours. 1034 02:11:48,164 --> 02:11:50,155 - On my great... - I know. 1035 02:11:50,867 --> 02:11:53,358 On your great Alaskan adventure. 1036 02:11:54,204 --> 02:11:56,900 Here. Here's a machete. 1037 02:11:59,276 --> 02:12:04,043 Collapsible fishing pole, a few other odds and ends I stuck in there for you. 1038 02:12:07,551 --> 02:12:09,951 - Ron... - Just take it. 1039 02:12:11,354 --> 02:12:14,152 I'll get dressed and meet you in the truck. 1040 02:13:10,447 --> 02:13:12,039 Well, my friend. 1041 02:13:14,551 --> 02:13:15,575 Yep. 1042 02:13:20,023 --> 02:13:22,491 I had an idea. 1043 02:13:23,627 --> 02:13:28,257 You know, my mother was an only child 1044 02:13:29,199 --> 02:13:30,962 and so was my father, 1045 02:13:31,635 --> 02:13:35,901 and I was their only child, 1046 02:13:39,309 --> 02:13:41,971 so when I'm gone, I'm the end of the line. 1047 02:13:43,079 --> 02:13:45,138 My family will be finished. 1048 02:13:48,852 --> 02:13:54,154 What do you say you let me adopt you? 1049 02:13:58,561 --> 02:14:02,622 I can be, say, your grandfather. 1050 02:14:07,070 --> 02:14:08,628 Ron, 1051 02:14:10,273 --> 02:14:14,039 could we talk about this when I get back from Alaska? 1052 02:14:14,444 --> 02:14:16,173 Would that be okay? 1053 02:14:23,520 --> 02:14:26,717 Yeah, yeah. We can do that. Yeah. 1054 02:14:31,695 --> 02:14:32,992 All right, Ron. 1055 02:14:35,398 --> 02:14:36,695 Thank you. 1056 02:15:25,882 --> 02:15:28,043 What did his voice sound like now? 1057 02:15:29,352 --> 02:15:31,513 What would he tell about now? 1058 02:15:32,021 --> 02:15:35,115 Nine, ten. 1059 02:16:24,774 --> 02:16:29,711 I realized that the words to my thoughts were of less and less meaning. 1060 02:16:29,813 --> 02:16:31,906 Chris was writing his story, 1061 02:16:33,416 --> 02:16:36,385 and it had to be Chris who would tell it. 1062 02:18:57,160 --> 02:18:59,594 "To call each thing by its right name. 1063 02:19:04,500 --> 02:19:06,195 "By its right name." 1064 02:19:57,387 --> 02:19:59,412 What if I were smiling 1065 02:20:01,924 --> 02:20:04,222 and running into your arms? 1066 02:20:26,849 --> 02:20:28,578 Would you see then 1067 02:20:33,756 --> 02:20:35,485 what I see now?