Good morning, and welcome to "Mear D... " "Dear... "
(laughs) Oh, God.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I think maybe you're gonna have to bear with me.
Hopefully my coffee will kick in soon,
'cause this little mom has had one hell of a weekend.
When Charles Dickens wrote,
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,"
who knew he was actually talking about my daughter's wedding?
Or...
more accurately, our daughter's wedding.
But that was only part of the problem.
Are you awake yet, honey?
Yes.
I'm awake.
I didn't sleep very well.
Mm. Me neither.
I have a terrible feeling of foreboding.
Oh, Sarah. You're... You're just a bride.
That's how brides feel. You're just nervous.
And besides, the whole reason you spent the night here
was so you wouldn't see Luc so you wouldn't jinx it.
But I should be at mom's, like I was with my first wedding.
Oh, I don't know. Look how that turned out.
Are you 100% positive that they're really seeing each other?
Yeah. She's seeing Brody.
The last time I saw them,
they were all snuggled together on the couch.
She's probably wondering why I'm not calling him daddy already.
So why don't you go over and get dressed at her house?
Get dressed in your old bedroom. You know she wants that.
Well, it's too late for that.
Everything's organized for me at the church.
It is your wedding, Sarah.
And I don't want you to regret anything.
Are you awake?
(whispering) Scotty?
Are you awake, honey?
No.
(normal voice) What are you doing out here?
Mm. Daniel woke up. I had to feed him.
Oh, well, Daniel's asleep, so why don't you come back to bed?
Oh. (sighs)
Honey, as much as I miss sex, I miss sleep more.
(cell phone rings)
- (headset beeps) - Hello.
(Sarah) Hi. It's me.
Were you gonna have sex with your Bluetooth on?
Yeah, I'm the wedding planner.
- I have to be on call. - Oh.
Please tell me everything's okay.
- Yes. Have a little faith. - (call waiting beeps)
- Hold on. Someone's on the other line. - (headset beeps)
- Hello. - I really need to talk to you.
What, about Sarah? She's on the other line.
No, it's about me, and don't tell Sarah. Just call me back whenever you can, okay?
- I am the wedding planner, but okay. - (beep)
- Sarah. - Who was that?
Uh, the deejay.
- (beep) - Hang on. Someone's on the other line.
- K... - Hello.
(muffled voice) It's Paige. Can you talk to my mom?
She won't let me bring Andrew to the wedding.
Paige, why are you talking funny, and who's Andrew?
I have a mask on, and I don't want it to crack,
and he's my boyfriend.
You have a boyfriend?
Paige has a boyfriend?
- Yeah, he's so cool. - I'll talk to your mom.
- She's on the other line. - Please.
- Done. - (beep)
- So, Paige has this boyfriend who... - (Sarah) Oh, God.
- If I hear one more thing about... - Fine. It's dropped.
Good. Now please tell me, is everything set up at the hotel?
I'm sure, but I'll check in with Justin.
Oh, is he still sleeping with that manager?
- Yes. - Is she still married?
I think she's getting a divorce.
Oh, yeah. That's what they all say.
(telephone rings)
(rings and beeps)
Hello?
Now I know we're not supposed to see each other,
but I thought it would be okay if we talked.
I missed you.
I missed you, too. Hey, are your parents here yet?
This afternoon. I can't believe I'm gonna see my dad.
It's been such a long time.
I can't believe they're actually coming together.
- Yeah, me, too. - (singsong voice) You're getting married.
- You're getting married. - (groans)
Here we go.
Luc, you have to talk to mom.
Whoa.
- What happened to you? - I'm wearing a face mask.
- It's early. - Well, I... Is that her?
Okay, put her on.
Mom.
Mom, can we please just talk about this like adults?
No, because you're not an adult.
- It's not appropriate. - Just forget it.
(sighs)
I'll take care of it.
- Thank you. - (doorbell rings)
Oh, listen, honey, I gotta go. Someone's at the door.
I can't wait to see you.
- (Luc) I love you. - Okay, bye.
(cell phone beeps)
(gasps) Tommy!
(laughs)
Ooh. I can't believe you're here.
Well, you asked me to walk you down the aisle.
Where do you think I'd be?
Daniel is still sleep, so why don't you come back to bed?
Kevin, no, I don't want to. Well...
How come you guys won't help Paige?
- Uh... no. - Because it's none of our business.
Paige, they're not budging.
(sighs) Man, I can't believe this.
(call waiting beeps)
- (beep) - Uh, hold on.
- It's Andrew on the other line. - Ooh.
Okay? I'll call you back.
- Bye. - Bye.
(cell phone beeps, cell phone rings)
- Hello. - Hey, Kevin. It's Saul.
Listen we have a little bit of a problem here,
and you know what, buddy? I don't want you to panic.
What? Of course, I'm panicking.
You say something like that, Saul, of course I'm gonna panic.
Kevin, the cake isn't here. They got the date all wrong.
So, what we've been doing is, uh,
Jonathan and I have been up all night, uh, making cupcakes.
Cupcakes?
I love cupcakes.
(Saul) That's right. We're gonna make a cupcake tree.
Kevin, you know what? I'm not happy about this either.
It's very wedding chic right now.
I can't believe this. Have you spoken with Sarah?
- 'Cause she's gonna rip me a new one. - (Saul) I knew you were gonna freak,
and I don't want to talk to you about this now.
I have 200 cupcakes that we have to finish,
and I want to tell you something, Kevin.
I'm gonna call Sarah because you're a wuss.
- (cell phone rings) - (Daniel crying)
Hey, Paige. Are you all right?
Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm... I'm not gonna ruin the day for mom.
Ask her if Luc is up.
Is Luc up?
He's right here. It's Kevin.
- Oh. Hey, Kevin. - Stop.
Hi, how's it going?
Oh, it's going great. I have the two kids right next to me,
my parents are coming, and I'm getting married.
Not a bad day.
How do you feel about cupcakes?
- Hold on a second. - (cell phone rings)
Cupcakes? Oh!
Oh, that's mom calling me on the cell. Let me, uh, I'll... I'll call you back.
- Hello. - How's it going?
- Don't ask. How is it with you? - (Nora) I'm fine.
I'm trying to find something for Sarah to use for the old.
For the what?
The old. You know, something old, something new, blah, blah, blah.
And then I'm to give it to her at the church.
Have you spoken with Sarah yet?
Not really. She seems to be avoiding me.
Kevin, this is just...
so awful.
Try not to worry. I'm sure everything will be fine.
Yeah. You know, I have to go, so I... I... I'll see you at the church.
Yeah, bye.
- (telephone beeps) - You can't keep coming over
for breakfast like this.
Well, then stop inviting me.
Well, I can't stop inviting you.
- I hate it when you leave at night. - Oh.
I can't wait for the morning to come.
Oh, I know the feeling. It can't come soon enough for me.
Whatcha doin'?
Well, I'm trying to find something that Sarah can use...
You kept this?
Please give that to me.
I already did, 45 years ago. You kept it?
Well, of course I did.
(laughs)
- (Sarah) Mom. - (door opens)
(door closes)
Sarah. Hello.
- I... I was just leaving. - Good.
Yeah, well, what are you doing here?
I, uh, just came by for my something old.
Well, I thought I was gonna bring it to the church.
I j... I thought it would be nice if we picked something out together.
So, uh... I'll take off.
And, uh, have a beautiful wedding, Sarah.
Thank you.
(door opens)
(Seth) Did you tell anyone yet?
- No. - (liquid pouring)
- (object clatters) - I, uh...
I'm not gonna tell anybody until we make our decision.
Well, I already told you how I feel.
I know.
I know, but, um...
You know, the more I think about this, the more excited I get.
I mean, Seth, you have to understand, that this wasn't supposed to happen.
(sighs)
Do you have any idea what a good dad you're gonna be?
Come on. That's not...
That's not the point. This is a mistake, Kitty, and you know it.
I don't think that you should have this baby.
(Evan) Mommy.
Okay. Okay, I'm coming.
(somber music playing)
(light music playing)
How about this beautiful old antique barrette?
Maybe I could be my own something old?
How about a purse? You want a purse? I've got a purse.
- Why are you talking like an auctioneer? - What are you doing here?
- This is for women only. - Exactly.
I'm just checking in.
- Saul called me about the cupcakes. - Ugh.
It's... no, it's fine. It's fine.
- (gasps) - Wow.
- (gasps) - Oh, my gosh, Paige.
- You look like a super model. - Yeah.
How did I ever give birth to anything so beautiful?
No, stop fussing with it. It fits fine.
It doesn't fit, and even if it did, who cares?
My boyfriend won't even be here to see it.
- Your boyfriend? - Your boyfriend? Wow.
Yeah, Andrew.
But since my mom's all about banning people from the wedding,
- he won't be coming. - Why can't Andrew come?
Because she's 14.
W... wa... wait a minute.
I seem to remember a young girl who was barely 14
who was so madly in love with Davey Martinez that she wrote a 12-verse song...
- That was a different situation. - (Kitty) What was it called? It was
(both) "When Dave's lips touched mine."
Oh, my God. Sing it.
- No! - Don't s...
- ♪ When Dave's lips touched mine ♪ - Don't sing it.
- (laughs) - ♪ I felt so fine ♪
- Kitty... - ♪ Like a grape on the vine ♪
Please stop.
- ♪ It tickled my spine ♪ - Okay. Okay! Okay!
- ♪ But it was so divine ♪ - Andrew can come to the reception.
- He can? - Yes.
Thank you! Thank you, Aunt Kitty.
- I'm gonna go call him. - All right. Wait, Paige.
I've gotta talk to his parents.
(rattles objects)
Kitty, what's the matter?
(voice breaking) It's nothing. It's just...
Oh, God. It's crazy.
It's just I remember Paige when... when she was a baby.
I mean, look at her.
- Yes, I kn... - (inhales deeply)
Okay, I just thought of something.
Okay, I'll be right back.
Okay, what is going on with you?
I'm pregnant.
- You're pregnant? - (mutters)
Shh. I just... I don't want anybody to know.
But that's... I... I thought you couldn't.
I know. I know. I... it happened.
That's amazing. Are... are you happy?
Yes. I'm very happy, happier every minute. It's Seth.
Well, yeah, I assumed it was Seth.
No. (sighs)
Seth isn't happy.
- (mouths words) - Okay, I've got it.
This is what she's gonna want, Ida's compact.
It's perfect.
(Luc and Justin) Five, six, seven, eight.
(both) ♪ Baby, I need your loving ♪
♪ Got to have ♪
(normal voice) ♪ All your love ♪
Now maybe I'll do a little solo? Like...
-♪ Baby, I need ♪ - Okay.
- (laughs) - You're laughing.
Why are you laughing again?
No, I'm just enjoying watching you confirm your heterosexuality.
Come on, Justin, you can do this. Okay, Saul and cooper... They learned it.
Tommy got it. It's easy.
Well, it's easy for you. Look at those hips.
Yeah, how did you become such a good dancer?
Did Gabriela teach you?
No. Uh, actually, it was all my father.
His mom owned a dance studio.
I just can't wait to see him in a suit, though.
I hope my mom doesn't ruin the whole thing for him.
She's not gonna ruin your wedding.
Why not?
She ruined her own marriage. He loved her.
She cheated on him.
Okay, there was probably other reasons why it didn't work,
like, you know, maybe they weren't meant to be together. Right?
Well, they were married, and she kept cheating on him.
That's why it didn't work out.
So apropos of nothing, how's Tyler?
She's getting a divorce, all right?
And she's been separated for, like, ever, and...
- (doorbell rings) - Maybe that's your parents.
Yeah.
It's been 20 years I didn't see them together.
- Wow, wow, wow. - Yeah, wow.
I don't understand this.
So, you put your left foot in front, and then you turn?
- Hi. - Oh, darling.
- Oh. - How are you?
- Ca va.
Hi.
- (Scotty) Hi. - Hi, guys.
Nice to see you, Justin.
(Justin) Hey.
(door closes)
O est papa?
He couldn't make it.
- What? - He got so swamped with his business.
He tried to get away, but he just couldn't.
But he sends his love and he's really, really sorry.
What about you, Mom?
Are you sorry?
Sarah, look what I found. I think this is perfect.
It's your grandmother's compact.
- I even polished it all up... - No, Mom.
It's... it's fine.
Listen, I appreciate you going up to the attic for all this stuff,
but I think my something old should be yours.
Oh.
You know, I remember sneaking in here when I was a kid.
We would play with this stuff like it was treasure.
You did?
This ring?
We used to call this your babysitting ring.
You'd only ever wear it if you were going out and we had a sitter.
Well, that's perfect, honey. Wear that.
- (snaps box shut) - No, silver's not right.
- (gasps) Oh, my gosh. - What?
I remember this.
Oh, no. You don't want to wear that. That's the tackiest thing on Earth.
No, no, no, I used to love this.
I'd always ask you, "Mommy, why don't you wear this one?"
and you would say, "Because I don't want to lose it."
So then I would think it must have been magic,
and that if I wore it, I'd turn into a princess.
This is it.
This is my something old.
Okay. Fine.
Thanks, Mom. (laughs)
Time?
Uh, about ten minutes since the last time you asked me.
You know, it might speed things up
if you didn't try to make each cupcake into a personal work of art.
Jonathan, I have to replace a stunning,
3-tier wedding cake with... with these snacks.
The least we can do is make each one of these look as lovely as possible.
Everybody loves cupcakes. They'll be the hit of the event.
Besides, a romantic commitment between two people
isn't about a wedding cake or even a marriage.
It's symbolism, Jonathan,
and when two people make a romantic commitment to each other,
there's got to be something that they can show to the world.
Isn't it enough for two people to say "I love you"?
You just don't get it, do you?
- Well, what's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
Oh, come on, Saul.
You're not insinuating that we should be getting married.
I'm not insinuating anything, so let's just get this packed up.
And please be careful with the frosting. Come on.
(objects rustle)
(indistinct conversations)
(inhales deeply) Hey.
Whoa. Don't you look sharp?
Oh, I feel like I should be handing out an Oscar in this.
What are you doing here? Isn't the wedding about to...
Oh, no. I'm late.
I just told Luc that I would drop this stuff off
because they're staying here tonight.
Mona, would you have a bellman run these up to 412?
- Mm-hmm. - Thanks.
Oh, by the way, are you and Mike going to that barbecue?
Please don't tell me Dan and I will be the only couple there under 70?
No, we aren't going.
(elevator bell dings)
I forgot. Everyone here still thinks that you and your husband are together.
I told you, it's just easier not to have people ask questions.
So that's his... That's his name... Mike?
Yeah.
Look, um, this is just starting to get a little too real.
- It's complicated, I know, but that's... - Okay, no, Tyler,
I think we need some space.
Let's figure out what's going on.
My marriage is over. That's what's going on.
Look, I gotta go. I'll be back for the reception.
(knock on door)
- (Luc) Sarah. - No! You can't see her.
You can't see her.
- (Luc) Kevin, I need to talk to Sarah. - No.
- (Luc) It's important. - Kevin.
Okay, just talk.
(lowered voice) Okay.
(normal voice) What is it, honey? Is everything okay?
(Luc) My father is not coming.
- Oh, no. Why not? - I don't know.
My mom gave me some lame excuses about how overwhelmed he is with work.
I know she did something, lied to him, told him not to come.
(Sarah) It's ironic, isn't it?
Here you are, heartbroken that your dad's not here,
and mine would be here in a shot if he could.
(Luc) You're listening to your heart. I'm proud of you for that.
Oh, honey, I'm proud of...
Okay, guys, I'm so sorry.
- We're really tight on time. - Wh...
(indistinct conversations)
- Hey. - Hey, hey.
Are we the first ones?
Yes, you are, and I love a man who's on time.
- Where's Kitty? - Oh, she's, uh, she's bringing your mom.
Look at you, buddy. Don't you look spiffy?
He also looks like someone who needs to go to the bathroom?
Oh, okay. It's, uh, it's right down the hall.
- Okay. - Um, Kitty told me your news.
- She did? - Yeah, and I think it's great.
Uh-huh. Um, uh, let's... let's, uh, let's talk about this later.
(lowered voice) Believe me.
I... I wasn't sure if I could handle being a father either.
Once it happens, it's magic.
And you're probably thinking, is now the right time,
but is there ever really a right time?
- I gotta go! - Uh...
(chuckles) All right. All right. Let's... let's go.
(door opens)
- Hey. - Hi.
(door closes)
I know. I'm not supposed to be here.
I had to see how beautiful you looked on the day of our daughter's wedding.
Wow.
(laughs)
Oh, Brody.
What a mess.
Oh.
(Kitty) I'm finally ready. I swear, I just cannot walk in these...
shoes.
- Hi. - Hi.
We haven't met. I'm Brody.
- I'm guessing that you're Kitty. - Yeah, I'm Kitty.
- Nice to meet you. - Yeah.
So, it's late. We've gotta go.
Oh. So, you're gonna go to the wedding now?
- Oh, no, Ma'am. - He's not coming to the wedding.
You know he's not coming to the wedding. He's verboten.
Sarah's probably standing out there with a bouncer, making sure...
Nora, take a breath. It's okay. It's fine.
(laughs)
Well, I'm... sorry. I mean, this is awkward.
- But Sarah... - Oh, hey, it's fine.
Okay.
Okay, great. Um, so I'll see you in the car.
I'll... I'll be in the car. Hurry up, okay?
(footsteps retreat)
So, um...
- I'll call you if I can. - Yeah. Have fun.
Take lots of pictures now.
Yeah, I will.
Mom, you've gotta go very gently with the zipper.
All right. I will.
Where is my something blue?
- (Nora) Your what? - My something blue...
A handkerchief of dad's.
- I know what it is. Hold on. - Saul got them from the dry cleaners
after he died, and I haven't seen it all morning.
(Kitty) Sarah, shallow breathing sends less oxygen to the brain.
- Kitty? - Sorry. Sorry.
I'm just not feeling so good at the moment.
- Okay, five minutes, ladies. - Mom.
- You... you don't look very good. - None of us look good. It's wedding.
- No, Mom... - Our nerves are all frayed,
except you sweetheart. You look lovely.
It's nerves. M... mom's right. I'm gonna go find a ladies' room.
Kevin.
Don't panic. She'll be fine. I'm just gonna go check on Luc.
- Okay, Mom! Just... - What?
So, the bride's on the left side, right?
Um...
Yeah, I... yeah. I don't know.
- Dude, this is a wedding, not a funeral. - I know. I'm just...
I'm in my head about Tyler.
Wh... what, is this about what we said? Come on, dude. We were just razzing you.
No, you guys were right.
Like, what am I, a home wrecker now?
I don't want to be that guy,
especially with the history in this family, Tommy.
Relax, all right? Th... this could be a good thing.
We're at a wedding.
Do you know what the number-one cause of drunken horniness in girls is?
- Tequila. - (chuckles) No.
Desperation.
And nothing ignites desperation in the ladies
like watching one of their own get the golden ticket.
Uh, when did you become Jack Nicholson?
Hey, I'm just your brother trying to help, all right?
You don't need her, all right?
Hey, are you guys here for the Walker wedding?
Yes, we, uh, yeah. It should be starting any minute.
(sighs) Oh, sorry.
Churches make me nervous.
Can't imagine why.
Uh, you don't know where I could find a drink, do you?
Um, this is a church.
Right. (chuckles)
They don't call me Spring Break '99 for nothing.
(laughs)
Um, where's the little girl's room?
Uh, little girl's room is straight down at the end of the hall.
- You can't miss it. - Thanks.
I'll catch you later...
If there's a God.
(whispers) Whoa.
Are you sad that your dad didn't come?
As long as I have my best man, I'll be fine.
I'm there for ya.
How are you guys doing in here?
- Ready. - Good. Uh, do you have the rings?
- Uh-oh. Oh. - Don't...
- Uh-oh. Shoot. - This isn't fun...
Don't... don't... don't do... Don't... No... Ugh.
- I gotcha. - It's not funny.
(makes whooshing sound)
You'll give me a heart attack one day, and I'll die.
- Live with that. - Excuse me.
What do you want?
Oh, I almost forgot about this.
They are your father's cuff links. I thought you might like to have 'em.
Yeah.
You nervous?
You know, it's not that bad.
- Once you're up there with everybody... - Okay, I'll be fine, Mom.
You should go sit down.
It's about to start.
Okay.
Oh.
(indistinct conversations)
Ooh.
Oh, dear.
Oh, sweetie, are you okay?
Yeah, thank you. I'm fine. I'm...
(inhales sharply)
- Just a little, uh... - Hung over?
Ugh. Been there/am there.
- Uh, no. - Oh, is it the flu?
- Should I keep my distance? - No, it's not the flu.
(gasps) Oh, preggers.
Duh.
Oh, babe. I'm so sorry. I've been there, too. It's the worst.
- (groans) - But congrats.
Aunt Kitty, you're pregnant?
(stall door closes)
No, Paige. No, no. I'm... I... I...
What on Earth are you doing in the stall?
Uh, I... I... I was just...
Trying to make my dress work.
I'm just gonna leave you girls to it. (chuckles)
Oh, excuse me. Have you seen my sister? Is she in there?
We really need to talk to her.
Oh, I don't know. Is she the pregnant girl?
The pregnant g... What? Pregnant?
- Wait, who's pregnant? - Uh...
Good Luck, Mom.
- Oh, God. - No.
- Oh. - What did Paige just say?
Did you hear her say anything?
Nothing. Sh... sh... What are you talking about?
You look beautiful. I'll see you out there, okay?
I promise you, Paige is not pregnant.
- She's got a boyfriend. - You're insane, okay?
Just breathe. You're about to get married.
- Breathe. Breathe. - (whispers) Oh, holy crap.
(instrumental music playing)
(indistinct conversations)
Look, come over here. You're gonna be on my left side...
Well, why do I have to be on your left side?
- Why can't I be on your right side? - It's protocol.
Protocol? Proto... Damn protocol.
Luc's not talking to his mother, his father didn't bother coming,
Kitty's throwing up in the bathroom, my daughter's probably pregnant.
She's not pregnant. I promise.
Oh, God. Okay. I just... I need a minute.
No. Sarah, everybody's waiting.
Well, they're just gonna have to wait a little bit longer,
because right now, my head is full of everybody else's problems,
and I don't want to say "I do" feeling like this, okay?
I'm gonna go for a little walk around the block,
- and I will come right back. - No.
S... Sarah.
Oh, God. (sighs)
Just breathe.
(exhales deeply)
(sighs)
That was quick.
No rice, no groom?
(exhales) It hasn't actually happened yet.
(exhales) I kind of needed a break.
Want a beer?
(instrumental version of "Ave Maria" playing)
(indistinct conversations)
(Sarah exhales deeply)
What are you doing here anyway, parked down the block?
I just wanted to see my daughter as she came out of the church,
a married woman.
Really?
I always had a hunch that you were my daughter.
I remember when you... you got your high school diploma.
- You were there? You were not. - Mm-hmm.
I was.
You stumbled a bit, almost fell.
Yeah, I hadn't mastered my heels.
No, but you made a great save.
Came out of it perfect.
I thought, oh, an athlete. She's gotta be mine.
(laughs)
And then I saw you, uh, do "Oklahoma!"...
- (sighs) - At that little theater in the park.
Oh, you were a hell of a... an I do Annie or whoever the hell she is.
- (chuckles) - Ado.
Ado. (laughs)
I can't believe this.
(exhales)
That's a nice necklace.
Oh, thanks.
It came from my mother's jewelry box.
- It's my something old. - Mm-hmm.
She thinks it's tacky.
Hmm.
I always kinda liked it.
Years ago, I got it from my mom...
And gave it to yours.
Your mom's the love of my life, you know?
I'm literally having an out-of-body experience right now.
Like I'm...
looking down on us both, and...
What?
(exhales deeply)
(voice breaks) I'm afraid I'm gonna fall.
Oh, I'll catch you.
♪ Went down to the banks ♪
♪ Of the L.A. River ♪
♪ Had to hop a chain-link fence ♪
(indistinct conversations)
♪ Concrete walls ♪
♪ On the L.A. River ♪
♪ Water lapping up on the cement ♪
♪ Oh, but I love ♪
♪ My new home ♪
♪ Listen to the big city sound ♪
♪ Watching that L.A. River ♪
♪ Roll down by the trains ♪
♪ Past Chinatown ♪
♪ Dip my fingers ♪
♪ In the warm black water ♪
♪ Raw red skin on my knees ♪
♪ Sail my boat ♪
♪ Down the L.A. River ♪
♪ Thought I saw a body in the weeds ♪
♪ Oh, but I love my new home ♪
♪ Listen to the big city sound ♪
♪ Watching that L.A. River ♪
♪ Roll down by the trains ♪
♪ Past Chinatown ♪
♪ Mm ♪
(speaking inaudibly)
(cheering inaudibly)
♪ Oh, but I love my new home ♪
♪ Listen to the big city sound ♪
♪ Watching that L.A. River roll down ♪
♪ By the trains past Chinatown ♪
(up-tempo instrumental music playing)
(exhales) Babe.
- Hmm. - Hey, have you seen my mother?
Uh, no. No, she's probably in the bathroom.
- Okay. - Okay?
I'm okay.
I really thought we had a runaway bride for a minute today.
Mm.
Well, she's nothing if she's not surprising.
You know, Kevin, uh, and I had a surprising talk today.
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but I had to tell somebody.
I'm not sure you explained my side of the story very well.
Well...
(sighs)
(laughing)
Hey, Mom, we... we just wanted to say congratulations.
- Oh. - Congratulations, Mrs. Laurent.
It's Mrs. Laurent.
- Mrs. Laurent. - (laughs)
Uh, hey, let's... Let's go find Olivia.
Paige.
Yeah.
You look beautiful, honey.
Thanks.
(upbeat music playing)
(indistinct conversations)
Okay, guys, I've gotta get this question out of my head.
Paige is not pregnant, right?
Because am I going crazy, or are her breasts...
(whispers) Like, bigger?
(mouths words)
(normal voice) Oh.
Okay, okay. Whew.
So, who was in the bathroom with you two, then?
- When? - Just now.
A-a lady came out and said a girl was pregnant in the bathroom.
No, I don't remember anybody being in the bathroom with me.
- Huh. - (clears throat)
Excuse me.
You two okay?
Yeah, everything's great. How are you?
- Good. - You having fun?
Yeah, so much fun.
(classic music playing)
- Mom. - Hey.
Jean-Claude just told me the truth about dad.
Dad is completely broke? Mom, what happened?
He made some very bad business decisions.
Luc, he feels so humiliated.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because I know how much you admire your father.
I didn't want to do anything to destroy the image you have of him.
And I've already done so much to destroy the one you have of me.
Not anymore.
Look how fantastic this is.
A cupcake pyramid...
It's like their wedding was catered by the Egyptians.
What are you talking about? This is just... It's... it's not traditional.
Oh, come on, Sauly. Where's your sense of humor?
You know what? You and I just don't have the same priorities in life, Jonathan.
Oh, for God sake.
Marry me, Saul.
You don't believe in marriage.
But you do, and I believe in you.
Don't do this unless you mean business, because I might just say yes.
Then say it.
Yes.
Why are you sitting here by yourself?
I'm not sitting here by myself. I'm just... I don't know.
I'm holding down the fort.
Okay, what's going on with you today?
You had a stomach thing... Are you not feeling well?
- I'm perfectly fine. - But it's something, Kitty.
Tell me now. Time's up.
I'm pregnant.
Kitty...
I know. I can't believe it either. It's unbelievable.
How long have you known?
Well, just a couple of days, and it's...
You know, it's very complicated.
What did the doctor say?
Well, he's concerned.
If I get sick again, I won't be able to have the treatments that I need.
But wouldn't it be amazing if Evan had, like,
a little brother or a little sister?
And I mean, I know Sarah drives me crazy,
but I can't imagine my life without her.
Well, I can't imagine my life without you.
Mom, please. You sound just like Seth.
So, you're gonna go through with this?
I don't know.
But I...
I really want to.
Uh, excuse me, everybody. May I have your attention, please?
(man 1) Shh.
Thank you. Uh, at this time, I would love to, uh,
make a toast to my beautiful wife.
Aww.
But as you all know, English is not my first language, so...
(guests speaking indistinctly)
(guests)
(man 2) Ohh. Oh, dear.
- So instead... - Mm-hmm.
I would like to do a... a little something else.
Okay.
(The Four Tops' "Baby I Need Your Loving" playing)
♪ Some say it's a sign of weakness ♪
- (laughs) - ♪ For a man to beg ♪
(woman 1) Whoo!
♪ Then weak I'd rather be ♪
♪ If it means having you to keep ♪
♪ 'Cause lately I've been losing sleep ♪
♪ Baby, I need your loving ♪
♪ Got to have all your loving ♪
♪ Baby, I need your loving ♪
♪ Got to have all your loving ♪
- (guests cheering) - ♪ Baby, I need your loving ♪
- (laughs) - ♪ Got to have all your loving ♪
♪ Baby, I need your loving ♪
- (guests cheer) - ♪ Got to have all your loving ♪
- Look out. Look out. - ♪ Baby, I need your loving ♪
(laughter)
- ♪ Got to have all your loving ♪ - (guests cheering)
♪ Baby, I need your loving ♪
♪ Got to have all your loving ♪
(song ends)
(cheering)
(man 3) Whoo!
Thanks.
- Mm. - Hi.
Hey.
I bet this lovely lady would like a glass of bubbly on her wedding day.
Oh, no, thank you. I will stick to the beer.
A girl after my own heart.
Listen, I... I just wanted to say, I'm glad you're here.
Great party.
There you are.
Uh, vodka, please, and do not water it down.
What are you doing here?
Look, you can't just tell me you have a daughter I've never met
and expect me not to be curious.
I never thought I'd be at her wedding,
but by the way, it was so beautiful...
(chuckles) And your hubby is sizzling.
I'm so sorry I'm late to this. My car broke down.
Ugh. Stupid piece-of-crap rental car.
I'm sorry. Who are you?
Lori Lynn. Your sister.
(indistinct conversations)
You didn't tell her?
Lori Lynn, please.
You know what?
I'm just gonna go check on those cupcakes.
Great touch, by the way.
Don't worry.
We'll talk.
(indistinct conversations continue)
I'm sorry. I...
I didn't think th... That she'd, uh...
You told your daughter about me, she was curious,
so she rented a car and crashed my wedding?
She's a complicated kid.
I'm impressed.
(sighs)
(Brody) Hey.
- Hi. - Are you okay?
- Yeah. - Oh, no.
Did you meet Lori Lynn?
- Who? - Lori Lynn.
My youngest daughter is here.
What? You're kidding. One of your three children is here?
Well, actually, I have four.
I thought you told me you had three.
Well, five.
- I have five, I... If you count... - Sarah.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Oh, God. - (laughs)
Brody, what are we getting ourselves into?
Well, my guess would be complete and utter mayhem.
Yeah.
But, hey, we're all grown-ups.
Yeah, well, not so you could notice.
I wondered where you two had snuck off to.
- What are you doing? - Resting.
Well, come on, 'cause I want to see my parents dance.
Oh, we can do that.
- We can? - Let's go.
Oh, dear God in heaven.
You know, of all the weddings I've done, this one was definitely the most...
- Nearly apocalyptic? - No.
(chuckles) There were a few surprises,
but trust me, I have seen worse.
Wait till you see us dance. Excuse me.
(feedback whines) Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention.
As your wedding planner extraordinaire,
I'd like you all to turn your focus to the dance floor,
where the bride and groom will now take their first dance.
(cheering)
♪ And now I know ♪
(guests speaking indistinctly)
♪ Spanish Harlem ♪
♪ Are not just ♪
♪ Pretty words to say ♪
♪ I thought I knew ♪
♪ But now I know ♪
♪ That rose trees never grow ♪
♪ In New York City ♪
♪ Until you've seen ♪
♪ This trash-can dream come true ♪
♪ You stand at the edge ♪
♪ While people run you through ♪
♪ And I thank the Lord ♪
♪ There's people out there like you ♪
- (applause) - ♪ I thank the Lord ♪
♪ There's people out there like you ♪
♪ While Mona Lisas and mad hatters ♪
- ♪ Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers ♪ - Hey.
I was just watching. I hope you don't mind.
Uh, no. No, not at all.
Justin...
I've been sending you mixed signals, and it's not fair.
I don't care about my reputation.
I care about you.
♪ They know not if it's dark outside ♪
You want to dance?
Wow. (chuckles)
(laughs)
There's one thing.
I just don't think you can keep up with me.
Let me be the judge of that.
Oh, okay.
♪ If I knew the tunes, I might join in ♪
♪ I'll go my way alone ♪
♪ Grow my own ♪
♪ My own seeds shall be sown ♪
♪ In New York City ♪
♪ Subway's no way ♪
♪ For a good man to go down ♪
♪ Rich man can ride ♪
♪ And the hobo, he can drown ♪
- Hi. - Hi.
Want to dance?
♪ I have found ♪
Yeah.
♪ I thank the lord for the people I have found ♪
♪ While Mona Lisas and mad hatters ♪
♪ Sons of bankers, sons of lawyers ♪
♪ Turn around and say ♪
♪ Good morning to the night ♪
♪ For unless they see the sky ♪
♪ But they can't, and that is why ♪
♪ They know not if it's dark outside ♪
♪ Or light ♪
(Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" playing)
(all speaking inaudibly)
♪ My mama told me when I was young ♪
♪ We are all born superstars ♪
♪ She rolled my hair And put my lipstick on ♪
♪ In the glass of her boudoir ♪
♪ There's nothing wrong With loving who you are ♪
(Nora) Looking back on it,
I kind of think it was the best of times.
Families, like life, have a way of changing,
never staying the same, but they're your family,
this eclectic, deeply bonded group.
So, you evolve, you adapt.
And now...
as I look at my life and my new extended family,
I think of this wonderful quote...
by George Eliot.
"It's never too late to be what you might have been."
♪ Baby, I was born this way ♪
♪ I'm on the right track Baby, I was born this way ♪
(closing theme music playing)