Me first!
Give it!
Oh, nice. Lovely.
Once upon a time…
…there were two terrible twits.
And this is how they were left for dead.
Wait, wait, wait. Stop!
Mum,
are you actually starting my bedtime story with the characters dying?
I didn't say they were dying. I said they were left for dead.
-By who? -By whom?
-Children and a family of magical animals.
Oh.
What kind of story is this?
You keep telling me
you want your bedtime stories to be more emotionally complex
with, I'm quoting, "highbrow themes and lowbrow comedy."
True. I just don't want a boring, old, normal story.
Well, I can assure you, my love, this is no "normal story"
because the Twits are not normal people.
No, the Twits hate everything,
especially each other.
They've been married for 47 miserable years.
And not a day has passed without a mean, dirty trick.
The thing is, even people who hate everything love something.
For the Twits, it was a backyard amusement park called Twitlandia.
They built Twitlandia from the ground up.
It was the one thing that brought them joy.
The one thing they truly cared about.
The one thing they wanted the whole world to see.
There's a song And dance extravaganza
And rides made out of toilets
This is Twitlandia!
It's the world's only amusement park.
And even if the whole world didn't see it,
the true heroes of our story,
an orphan named Beesha…
Wow.
…and her best friend, Bubsy…
Whoa!
…did.
Come to Twitlandia's grand opening this week.
-That looks like the most-- -Amazing place in the world?!
I definitely wasn't gonna say "horrifying and lame."
But, Beesha, it has a song-and-dance extravaganza
and rides made out of toilets!
And who doesn't want both of those things?
All right, Bubsy boy, I promise I'll take you to Twitlandia
before you leave me forever next week.
Whoo-hoo!
Twitlandia!
Oh, Jim.
Ah!
Look, it's our first visitor!
But before Beesha could fulfill her promise to Bubsy…
Welcome to Twitlandia.
Ahem.
Hey! You can't go in without paying!
…in fact, before the park even opened…
"Condem-ned"?
…the city shut Twitlandia down…
What's this?
…condemning it for being dangerous, structurally unsound, and, quote…
"Stinking of rancid hot dog meat"?
-Oh, Jim! -Huh?
The city's… They're shutting down our fun park!
No--
No!
It was as if their baby had been taken from them.
Strange baby.
Strange people.
I do like Beesha and Bubsy quite a bit, though.
Yes, well, Beesha and Bubsy are on a collision course with the Twits,
who are about to play their dirtiest trick yet.
A prank that will condemn the city
the way the city condemned Twitlandia.
What are they gonna do? Make it stink of rotten hot dog meat?
Clever boy. Now, no more questions. Just listen to the song.
Oh, is this a musical?
Of course it's not a musical. What am I, a cricket?
It's one song. Settle down.
Bubsy goodbye video, take one.
And… action!
We'll miss you, Bubsy!
Bye, Bubsy.
I look around at all these people
Nice people with their perfect lives
Well, they're bored Out of their skulls
Vote for John-John.
Monotonous and dull
They do not live
They just survive
Now, we are not like Everyone else
There's nobody here That's like you and me
We're one of a kind And deep down inside
We're the only ones out here
Who are free
I think we're set.
All right, Bubsy boy, the big day's coming up.
Hit me with your favorite memory from the Triperot Home for Children.
Oh! That time I got a potato stuck in my nose?
-Okay… -Don't you remember, Beesh?
You made me laugh so hard that I snorted,
and the potato shot out, and it landed in your milk.
And now I'm lactose intolerant by choice.
Okay, Harold.
Bubsy gets adopted next week. How do you want him to remember you?
I…
I-- I kept the potato.
He kept the potato. Cool.
I promise to always surprise you
I promise to always be fun
To be bad to the bone
And you can tell everyone
That I won't stop Until I'm done
We're not like everyone else
There's nobody here Just like you and me
We're one of a kind And deep down inside
We're the only ones out here
Who are free
We're the only ones out here
Who are free
Okay, my turn.
So, Bubs, I'm gonna miss your world-class dancing,
and I'll miss getting your basketball unstuck
when you throw it in the rafters.
I'll miss tucking you in at night, and, I don't know,
just watching you grow up
because you're such a cute little squishy-wishy baby.
What the…
Mr. Napkin!
Help me!
Mr. Napkin! Beesha!
Are you okay?
We're fine, Bubs. We're fine.
What even is that stuff?
I think it's that gross liquid meat they use to make hot dogs.
Yeah, it's hot dog meat, all right. The good stuff too.
Well, whatever it is,
I'm glad you didn't drown in it, Mr. Napkin.
Oh jeez, I forgot to thank you for saving my life, Beesha.
You know, my mom always told me I was an ungrateful child
and our family's biggest disappointment.
Anyhow, thank you.
Of course.
The world's a much better place with you in it, Mr. N.
Shock and outrage in Triperot today
as one of the worst liquid hot dog meat floods in the nation's history
has citizens reeling.
Oi! Woman! Our prank's on telly!
When I was a little shaver, Triperot was the fun capital of the world.
We had fun.
Then Tripe Lake dried up, and I thought things couldn't get worse.
Guess what? News flash. This is way worse.
This is worse.
What I wanna know is,
how the heck can hard-working people like us get ahead in this town?
I also wanna know that, also as well.
I'm Beverly Onion,
joined now by Triperot Mayor, Wayne John John-John.
Mayor John-John, do we know who's behind this savage attack?
Thank you, Beverly.
Number one, as always,
our thoughts and prayers
are with those affected by this meat-astrophe.
Number two, election day is coming up,
so remember, a vote for John-John is a vote for fun-fun.
And number three,
those evildoers may have blown up our water tower,
but they can never blow up the spirit of this great city.
How can he blame us?
Any reasonable person would've done exactly the same thing
if they'd had their fun park shut down.
If that bum don't like us blowing up that water tower,
I say we blow up his butt.
The mayor's butt would eventually explode.
However, we can talk about that later.
For now, the Twits' trick was having very real consequences for our heroes.
I'm so happy you're going to be my parents
because all I've ever wanted is-- is to find a family.
Oh, boy.
You're not gonna find a cuter child in the tristate area, Mr. and Mrs. Klurb.
That's a promise.
Here's the deal, friend.
We've reconsidered, actually, based on circumstances,
and, uh, you know, adopting this kid over here, you know,
that's gonna be a no-go for us.
Yeah, we've seen on the news how certain parts of town
are still finding high levels of liquid hot dog meat in their pipes.
And then we seen your kids here drinking that toxic meat water.
Breaks my heart to say it, but we just don't have the money
to care for a contaminated child.
We've decided to take our business to another orphanage.
Sorry, bucko.
It's okay, Bubsy, those folks don't know what they're talking about.
We'll find you a family yet, I guarantee it.
I'm never gonna get adopted, Beesh.
Yes, you are.
You just have to have hope.
I mean, my dream is to see my parents again.
Even though I know they're coming back for me,
it's still hard to wait.
But some incredible family is gonna find you so soon.
I can feel it.
And until that happens, I got your back.
And your nose.
And your intestines!
You always have everyone's back, Beesh. And their nose, and their intestines.
I try.
But who takes care of you?
I don't need anyone to take care of me.
I'm 12. Almost.
So, yeah. I'm fine.
But you're not fine.
And this city isn't fine. I just…
I want people to not be so terrible to each other all the time.
So you know what?
I'm not gonna sit here and wait around
for someone else to make the world less cruel. Uh-uh.
I'm gonna go out there and follow clues
and find whoever put the meat in that water tower.
And I am going to bring those jerks to justice.
Will you shut up?!
We're trying to be quiet here!
How am I supposed to steal these chemical loos
with all that honking, you baby diaper?
Aren't those the people from the Twitlandia ad, Beesh?
That's gotta be who did it.
Looks like you're gonna get to go to Twitlandia after all. Come on.
Whoo-hoo!
I know we're trying to capture criminals, Beesh,
but I still wanna go on a roller coaster.
There it is. There's the truck.
How have the police not figured this out?
Beesha?
We'll be fine.
Come on.
Twitlandia looked way nicer in the commercial.
Yeah.
It looks like a place where children go to be murdered.
But, hey, you can't judge a book by its cover.
Wait there. I got this.
What do you want?!
Uh… Uh… Um…
Hi. Hello, ma'am. And sir.
What are you doing here?
Oh!
What we are…
…doing here…
…is what I'm about to tell you, which is that…
we are here to visit Twitlandia?
Oh!
Those stupid little dunces must not have heard
about all the terrible health code violations that got us shut down.
We are back in business, woman.
Come along, youngsters.
The fun park's out back.
You know, I couldn't help but notice that gigantic meat truck parked out front,
and I was wondering if-- What the…?
What is this?
Ha! That's Hugtight Sticky Glue.
Best glue on the market for capturing birds.
Why would anyone wanna capture birds?
To make bird pie, obviously.
Idiot.
But you didn't come to Twitlandia
to hear my rotten turnip of a wife call you an idiot.
You came to give us your money!
The Celebrity Diamond Platinum Pass. That's the one you're gonna want.
That gives you access to all the best attractions.
Your Tilt-A-Potty, your Pirate's Booty, the finest entertainments
in the Credenza Twit Memorial Concert Hall!
That package starts at just $8,500.
I have, like, three bucks.
And I have some baby carrots
and a dirty Band-Aid.
Mm.
Only thing that'll get you is a frolic about in the bouncy pit.
Wow!
As fun and sanitary as a hole filled with soiled mattresses looks,
I was really interested in hearing the story
behind that gigantic meat truck out front.
Oh, that meat truck? We stole it.
Excuse me?
Why? You just rip a greasy fart?
No. I didn't rip a greasy fart.
Uh, I just thought I heard you say you stole that meat truck?
We did.
Then we put the meat in a water tower and blew the lot of it up.
But it's not our fault.
We done it to get revenge on this crummy town.
Wow!
You just said all of those things to us.
Delightful.
Um, we have to be going now.
But we haven't gone on any of the rides.
Next time.
Hey! Be sure and tell your friends.
But only the ones with more money than you've got!
Come on. I think that's the way out.
There's nothing to be scared of.
Beesh?
What kind of animals are those?
Those poor creatures look so sad.
What do you think they're saying?
-Please help us. -Help!
Those evil monsters are holding us against our will.
If there is anything that you can do, we would be so, so grateful.
I do not like this stinky old cage.
In rare cases…
Beesh?
…very sensitive children with deep empathy…
Are you…?
…have been known to understand animals.
Yes! Yes, yes!
Wait, can you kids understand what I'm saying?
Are you hearing us?
Yes!
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!
I think I'm gonna pass out! Or maybe barf?
Oh yeah, definitely gonna glorvin up a florbnorble.
Do not glorvin out another florbnorble, Marty.
Just breathe and say hello to them.
-Hello! -Don't shout. They're right there.
I'm sorry, he's overwhelmed right now.
We all are, 'cause just, wow, wow, wow!
It's okay. I can't believe it either.
My name is Beesha, and this is my friend Bubsy.
I'm Mandy Muggle-Wump, and my mama is Mary Muggle-Wump,
and my papa is Marty Muggle-Wump.
You can call me Big Daddy if you want.
Don't ask them to call you that, Marty. Oh, good Lord.
You Muggle-Wumps are funny.
I have a question, and that question is, do you kids know how to open up cages?
We've been stuck in this thing for years.
There's a key to the lock somewhere in that house.
If there's any way you could find it?
Of course. We'll find the key and get you outta there.
I promise.
You should get outta here right now.
What? Why?
-What are you-- -Get away from there!
Them things is the brown jewel of Twitlandia.
We stole them from Loompaland.
And you lot, get back to crying.
What are you doing to them?
They cry magical tears when they go upside down,
and them magical tears is the power source
that keeps Twitlandia running.
-We don't got no city power out here. -I know what you're thinking.
"They're gonna get the Dreaded Shrinks."
No, because we only make them stay on their heads for one hour at a time.
What are the Dreaded Shrinks?
What do you got, butt cheeks for brains?
The Dreaded Shrinks is what happens when you stand on your head too long.
We don't need their heads to shrink into their necks,
their necks to shrink into their bodies, bodies to shrink into their legs,
till all that's left is a big puddle of nothing.
You people are evil.
Yeah, well, you're evil.
You two walk away now,
or else my gorgeous wife will put you in a sumptuous pie
and cook you for our supper!
We'll be back.
Beat it!
Wait, Beesh, wait!
What are we gonna do about those poor Muggle-Wumps?
Free them when the Twits get arrested.
What do you mean? How?
Hmm…
I might have recorded every word they said.
What?
I'm Beverly Onion, reporting live with breaking news.
I'm here with local orphan child, Beesha Balti,
who brought us stunning footage
that promises to solve a big Triperot mystery.
Beesha?
Yes, so, um, Miss Onion,
the Triperot Home for Children, which is where I live,
is still contaminated with meat water, and no one was doing anything about it,
and my best friend, Bubsy Mulch, was about--
Good job, Beesha.
Let's take a look at her shocking hidden-camera footage.
Oh, that meat truck? We stole it.
-Excuse me? -Why?
-You just rip a greasy fart? -No…
Woman! We're on the telly!
We did, then we put the meat in a water tower
and blew the lot of it up!
As you can see, the Twits freely admit
that they committed this savage, sausagey assault.
Oh! I look so perspirational!
-And I sound like a genius -Ooh! Uh-oh!
A proper, proper genius
And all the world shall worship me 'Cause I'm a precious genius
Spelled J-E-N-U-A-S
They're already coming to give me my own TV show.
It's finally happening for us, woman!
Come on, baby.
-This is what you paid to see. -Ta-da!
What do you think you're do--
Why?
Do you know who I am?
I'm an important celebrity.
I am a genius!
Credenza S. Twit and James T. Twit,
you are under arrest for deliberately and maliciously
flooding Triperot with liquid hot dog meat.
Mr. and Mrs. Twit, do you have anything to say to the citizens of Triperot?
Yeah, I got something to say.
If you people had supported Twitlandia,
then everyone in this stupid town would've had all their dreams come true!
Triperot could've been the fun capital of the world again.
And all y'all would've been living in the lamp of luxury.
You blew it, Triperot!
You blew it!
The city should never have shut down Twitlandia!
It's the world's only gosh-dang amusement park!
Don't you hear me?
This is your fault, Mayor John-John!
Stop pushing me!
Did Mrs. Muggle-Wump say where they keep the key?
Uh-uh. I think we're just gonna have to look everywhere.
It's creepy in here.
And it smells.
Do either of those things surprise you?
No, not really.
Are these poor animals dead?
Yeah.
They've all been taxidermied.
The heck?
It sounds like it's talking backwards.
Or maybe French?
If you lick my toes, opposite your life goes.
Okay.
Here, um, I think maybe…
I'm a Sweet-Toed Opposite Toad,
and if you lick my toes, opposite your life will go.
I've never met a sweet-toed toad before.
Oh! I'm from Loompaland.
I came here with my friends, the Muggle-Wumps.
We know the Muggle-Wumps. We're gonna get them outta their cage.
Huh! Please free me too!
Mrs. Twit tried to turn me into taxidermy.
I've been stuck in this room ever since.
And no one in here will lick my toes.
Of course we'll set you free.
You wouldn't happen to know where the key to the Muggle-Wumps' cage is, would you?
Unfortunately, I don't.
That's okay. There are lots of things I don't know too.
Like, why don't baby carrots have to wear diapers?
We've talked about this, Bubs. They don't have butts.
We'll let you out the front door.
Twits, you made bail.
I can't think who'd pay our bail.
You're the only person I know.
And I don't like you enough to bail you out.
-There they are. -They're the ones on TV.
Mr. and Mrs. Twit, you're our only hope! Love ya!
Huh?
What?
You're probably confused.
I am confused.
That's why I said, "You're probably confused."
Oh.
The Twits were too,
but if I told you just a little bit about the city where they live,
I think it'd make more sense.
Triperot was once a popular vacation destination,
known as the fun capital of the world.
But when Tripe Lake dried up, the tourists stopped visiting.
Businesses closed.
People lost their jobs, their money, their way of life.
Desperate and down on their luck,
many of them were ready to believe anyone who might offer salvation.
Hey, Dorcas! Supper's ready!
Ah!
Oh, Dorcas. That was our last jar of ham.
Sorry, Mom.
It's all right, hon. Wasn't your fault.
Money's real tight is all, honey.
If you people supported Twitlandia,
then everyone in this stupid town would've had all their dreams come true!
Triperot could've been the fun capital of the world again,
and all y'all would've been living in the lamp of luxury.
The city should never have…
When you very much want something to be true…
-Huh. -Hmm.
…it's very easy to convince yourself that it is.
Hi there, Mr. and Mrs. Twit. Name's Dee Dumdie-Dungle.
-My bridegroom here-- -Horvis Dungle!
Yeah, that's your name, hon.
He seems to think Twitlandia could make Triperot
the fun capital of the world again.
And I'm like, "Hmm…"
Yeah, she's always like, "Hmm…"
Uh, but I'm more like, "Hmm!"
So anyhow, uh, we called a few of our friends
to help bail you guys out.
Yeah.
Because if Twitlandia is for real, boy, we all want in.
I also want in, also as well.
You hear that?
I do.
I'd say it's high time we start making some promises
we have no intention of keeping.
Yes, my friends, it's true.
If we reopen Twitlandia, tourism will return,
Triperot will be the fun capital of the world again,
and all the city's problems will be solved.
But none of that can happen without one little thing.
Your money.
And that is why we've got a honey of a deal for you.
If you invest just $1,000,
we guarantee you $1 billion
when the park opens.
Holy smokes.
That's a great deal.
Yeah, we can just dip into Dorcas's college fund.
Uh, Mom, Dad, a moment of your time.
This seems like an obvious lie.
Oh, Dorcas, you're just too young to understand
that the Twits are going to make all of our dreams come true!
Oh, thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Twit!
-A billion to you! -I want a billion!
-A billion for you! Billion! Billion! -Whoo-hoo!
Our Twitlandia dream is gonna come true.
They love me. They really love me.
-Let me get that for you, lass. -Ooh!
Whoa!
Ugh. What is it with these people and toilets?
Maybe they have small bladders
and have to go in the middle of the night sometimes.
Huh.
Yoo-hoo!
Our big celebration supper's almost ready, Jimmy.
Mm!
It's a special new kind of spaghetti for my special guy.
Eat it up now while it's nice and hot.
Hot, hot, hot, hot.
Yeah, it-- it's squishy
with a-- with a hint of distinctly bitter flavor.
You wanna know why your spaghetti's squishy?
Why?
And why it has a bitter taste?
Why?
Because it's worms! You're eating worms!
Okay.
If I were a key, I'd hide under a pillow, maybe?
Voice Changer 30,000? What's this…
…thing do? Whoa, that's really weird.
Mm.
Was that the Twits?
It can't be. They've gotta be in jail by now.
It's…
It's been a long day.
I'm tired.
Let's just… …go to bed.
What the…? What's happening?
Oh no! Oh no!
This is not good.
They are home,
and now they're gonna put us in a pie and eat us.
-Beesh. -Duck!
We're fine, Bubs. We're fine. We're okay.
Ugh.
The key.
It's in his beard.
Ew.
Blech.
What are you doing, woman?!
Come on. Let's go.
-Hey, what-- -It's them kids.
Go, go, go!
Oh!
We got the key!
-Oh my gosh, really? -No way!
You guys are my heroes!
Come on. Come on.
I'm gonna put you kids in a pie and cook you both for supper!
Go. You gotta get out of here.
No way. We're getting you out.
-You can't get us out if you're in a pie. -Hurry, Beesh!
-Go. Don't let them catch you. -Those monsters will kill you.
-Don't say "kill." It's negative. -Come on, Beesh. Hurry.
-Save yourselves. -Hurry!
Go!
Come on! Come on!
Ha!
-Gotcha. -Help!
Hey, Mary.
I feel like that's pretty good.
Oh.
Okay, yeah, one more. Just one more.
Come on, let's go!
Come on! Come on!
They're stealing our stolen Muggle-Wumps!
Rainbows are gettin' back in style
Cripes!
Hi, Mr. Napkin. Everything's fine.
Whatever you do, do not open the door for the Twits.
You got it, Beesha. Don't open the door for the Twits.
Welcome to the Triperot Home for Children.
What can I do you for?
Where are they?
Where are who?
Are you trying to be funny?
No, I doubt it.
My mom always told me I was a uniquely humorless child.
Anyhow, I'm Burl Napkin.
And whatever it is you need, I'm sure we can fellowship about it
like reasonable adults over a hot beef loaf
and some spray cheese.
Beesha, he let them in, and he offered them cheese!
We're all gonna die!
No one's gonna die, Harold.
Just nobody panic.
But Harold told us to panic.
-Tuna, Harold, get the blocks. -Huh?
Everybody else, cardboard and crayons now.
You got it.
Oh, boy.
Uh, so, um, what exactly can I help you with, Mr. and Mrs. Twit?
Your no-good children stole our Muggle-Wumps.
Sorry, my who stole your what?
The creatures whose tears are the power source for our fun park.
You know we can't run Twitlandia without the Muggle-Wumps.
Yeah, see, I'm hearing words come out of your mouth,
but I'm not comprehending their-- their meaning.
If you won't hand over our Muggle-Wumps, you're gonna have to pay us.
Those animals is worth $1 billion.
Oh, I'm a bit cash poor at the moment.
Um, my investments are primarily emotional.
In that case, give us some of your possessions.
We'll take, mm,
the shoes, the shirt, the slacks, and… the watch.
But this watch belonged to my late father.
If he was late, it mustn't have been a very good watch.
Come on.
Don't come back, or we'll take the briefs.
Hey! And the sock!
Well, glad I decided to put on briefs this morning.
Rainbows are coming back in--
Oh, right back at you. Toot-toot!
-Get a job! -Oh, jeez.
Mr. Napkin got tricked out of his pants again!
Of course he did. Come on, everyone. Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Okay. Okay.
-Hurry, Harold. -Let's go! Come on!
Action positions now!
Go on. That burning sensation in your chest…
…is natural.
-Okay, you brats. We want what's ours. -Thank goodness you're here.
-They went right through that door. -They're sneaky little critters.
-Ooh! -Move it! What are you waiting for?
Gotta admit…
…that trick was pretty brilliant.
And professional.
Ouch!
Are you okay?
You little sneaks!
I gotta lock the door.
Sorry about that. That's on me.
Here I go again, bumbling Burl.
Hey, little girl. Little girl?
Mm, you're good.
You're very good.
You tricked us with your hidden camera. Got us locked up.
Then stole our stolen Muggle-Wumps.
Then you tricked us with that pretend door.
You are a Twit in the making, is what you are.
Really?
Yeah, which is why we have a very special offer for you.
It's on the up and up. No tricks.
We're backing away. See?
Don't even think about trusting them.
I won't. I got this.
I'm fine.
So, what's this special offer? Hmm?
We would like to adapt you.
To "adapt" me?
Yeah, you know, make you our very own precious little baby daughter child.
All you gotta do is give us back the Muggle-Wumps.
Then we can open up our fun park, become a happy family, the whole deal.
Huh?
Yeah…
No.
Hey, a kid like you ought to be glad someone wants you,
after being dumped here like a plate of moldy leftovers.
I wasn't dumped here. My parents are coming back for me.
She thinks they're coming back!
That's the funniest thing I've heard in ages!
Thing is, kid, I was abandoned at the circus by my deadbeat parents.
And mine abandoned me at a bowling alley.
So you see, you really is just like us.
Only smaller and less intelligent.
-I will never be like you. -Oh…
I am never giving up the Muggle-Wumps, and this orphanage is owned by Triperot.
So unless you're the stinking mayor,
I suggest you keep out!
Here she is, the greatest dancer in the history of Loompaland,
Mandy Muggle-Wump!
Our first night of freedom.
I am so snozzing happy, I could just…
Wa-hoo!
Yes!
The heck?
Oh, do humans not glow?
I mean, obviously you don't when your tears are being harvested
to power an amusement park because, like, duh.
But otherwise, you glow, right?
I don't think I glow.
Huh. Well, learn something new every day.
Mama!
Whee!
Go, Harold! Go, Harold!
Don't let the Twits get into your head.
You got us out of that cage, Beesha.
We won.
Yeah!
Beesha! We're free!
Come on, dance with me!
We're free!
While the children and the Muggle-Wumps celebrated,
the Twits schemed,
cooking up a trick that, in the coming days,
would have truly explosive consequences
for the city of Triperot and for our heroes.
-My detractors say I'm soft on crime. -Ooh!
They say I tanked the economy.
Well, I say I'm running unopposed.
So when you vote for mayor,
just remember, a vote for John-John is a vote for fun-fun.
Mary! Get in here right now!
Please hurry!
Look, they've got this window that looks into a world
where a little tiny man gets handed a stick by another man
who whacks this white circle.
And all these tiny people who live in this little world, they clap.
Hey, good hit, buddy!
That's a game called golf.
Yeah, and this is a TV, Mr. M.
You can change channels and watch all kinds of stuff.
-Ooh! -Welcome to the Triperot mayoral debate.
I'm Beverly Onion.
In addition to previously unopposed Mayor Wayne John John-John,
we have two last-minute additions to the race.
-Mrs. Credenza Twit and Mr. Jim Twit. -Ah!
The economy, crime…
The Twits are running for mayor?
Oh boy, that doesn't seem like it's good for anybody.
Whee!
-What the heck? -My daddy barfs up stress balls sometimes.
Okay.
I mean, the scientific term is to glorvin up a florbnorble.
It's something that happens when I… …get a little anxious.
Don't worry, Mr. M.
Grown-ups are dumb, but not dumb enough to vote for a Twit.
Thanks for coming to my rebate.
I gotta run to the bathroom. I'll be back in a sec, Bub.
I'll be the king of Triperot.
So I'm gonna speak first, and you're gonna be last to listen.
Mr. Twit, what will you do if you become mayor of Triperot?
Glad you asked. Let me show you my diarrhea.
Excuse me?
I made a diarrhea, and I wanna show it to you.
Please don't.
I have this diarrhea.
-Diorama. -What?
"I have this diorama."
That's disgusting,
and a secret best kept between you, your bum, and the toilet.
Now this is a diarrhea
of the world's number-one fun park, Twitlandia.
Mr. Twit just loves to talk about his diarrhea.
But what he won't talk about
is how Twitlandia can't reopen without our Muggle-Wumps,
which were stole by this child.
When I'm mayor, I'll get them Muggle-Wumps back,
turn Triperot into the fun capital of the world again,
and make everyone who votes for me a billionaire!
I love you, Mrs. Twit.
I love you also as well.
People, please.
Do you really think these so-called Muggle-Wumps
can make Triperot the fun capital of the world?
I don't.
In fact, if you ask me,
there's only one candidate who knows a thing or two about fun-fun,
and his name is John-John.
Then how come that candidate ain't eaten any of that Triperot cake?
Uh, what?
Give it here. I'll eat the cake myself,
if only to prove I care more about Triperot than he does.
Oh, please.
These good folks know I live and breathe Triperot.
Now… I eat it too!
Oh yeah! He's eating the cake!
He must really love Triperot.
Yum!
Triperot! Whoo!
Stop this debate!
-Who's that? -It's that kid who stole the Muggle-Wumps!
-Boo! -Oh, please don't.
Actually, I freed the Muggle-Wumps.
And I am never, ever letting the Twits take them back.
What is she doing?
I thought she was in the bathroom a really long time.
Whee!
See? She admits it. She ain't giving back them Muggle-Wumps
'cause she don't give a care about you people.
Oh.
Coming from the people who contaminated Triperot with hot dog meat?
Which we would do again if it would help save this wonderful city.
That doesn't even make sense.
You don't make sense.
But you know what does?
A little of the old razzle-dazzle.
What the…
If we had what she stole
Why are you singing?
Then the park would be open
Huh?
We'd all be so happy
Yeah!
But now the whole thing is broken
Excuse me?
Now, I don't need to tell you
No. What's happening?
We made a promise to everyone
Your promises are lies!
A billion dollars
That's a good deal.
It's not our fault That now it is gone
Help.
So now it seems that there's a problem
Oh my, oh my
Now what should we do?
It's not true!
The thief is pointing Her finger at us, but…
Yeah!
-Oh, the problem is you -Oh, the problem is you
It's you
It's you, you, you
I don't feel so good.
It's you
It's you, you, you
It's you
It's you, you, you
It's you
It's you, you, you
It's you, it's you, it's you, you
-It's you -We want Twitlandia!
Give back the Muggle-Wumps!
It's you
It's you, you, you
It's you
Oh, I feel like something's going on…
It's you
It's you, you, you
It's you
It's you, you, you
A vote for John-John is a vote for fun-fun!
It burns! It burns!
Uh, Mum, did that man's--?
It did, love.
His bottom exploded.
Oh.
What happens next?
Here, Papa. Drink some gerbil tea.
It'll calm you right down.
Bubsy, is there any sign of her out there?
Not yet. Do you see her, Mrs. M?
Ah, there she is.
Beesha!
-Are you okay? -I'm fine. I'm fine.
Beesha's back! She's okay!
You're not fine. Look at you, you're shaking.
I'll admit it was a lot to have the Twits blame me for ruining an entire town,
and then to have a bunch of adults angry-sing at me,
and then to be present when a man's butt exploded.
But otherwise, I'm…
What--
What happened here? You have a cut.
It's nothing. I'm fine.
Ugh, so help me, child,
if you say "I'm fine" one more time, I'll have to chew your elbows off.
What, you think I'm kidding? Look at these teeth.
Here.
Let me clean that up.
Whoa! What the…
Oh, calm down.
Muggle-Wump slobber has healing properties.
-Huh. Will you look at that? -What?
You just let somebody help you, and the world is still turning.
Ha-ha.
Why do you feel like you have to do everything by yourself?
I lie awake for hours every night
thinking about all the things I haven't fixed.
I haven't gotten Bubsy adopted. I haven't stopped the Twits.
-Beesha, it's not your job to-- -I know. I know.
But I feel like if I can prove that I'm really worth something,
that maybe somehow…
I know it doesn't make any sense, but maybe somehow,
my parents will hear about what a good kid I am,
and maybe they'll finally love me enough to want to come back for me.
It's silly, I know.
It's not silly.
Did you ever think that maybe they left you here
because they did love you,
and for whatever reason, they just couldn't take care of you?
Well, anyway,
there are gobs of us who love you unconditionally,
and who will devour your elbows if you try to go it alone again.
Whoa.
Well, I should get the kids to bed.
After the day you've had, why don't you let me take care of that?
My mama and papa are from this magical island
called Loompaland,
which is the most violentest place in the whole world.
And my mama's mama used to sing her this lullaby
about monsters eating your face off and ripping out your guts and stuff.
It's my very most favorite one.
The world is red
In tooth and claw
Jaws that bite
And teeth that gnaw
Hear their screams
Their cries and roars
Our lives are nasty
Brutish and short
But in dreams you are safe
In dreams you are free
In that beautiful place
Close your eyes and you'll see
The flowers that smile
The sun, it will shine
And nothing can hurt you now
In dreams you are safe
In dreams you are free
In that beautiful place
Close your eyes and you'll see
The flowers that smile
The sun, it will shine
And nothing can hurt you now
I'm in a box and I can't get out!
Ready…
Aim…
Hey, what are you doing?
Fire!
Stop it!
As mayors of Triperot,
we is declaring war on you and your stupid orphan-anage.
You aren't the mayors of Triperot.
Oh yes, we are.
Wayne John "the Buttless Wonder" John-John lost the election,
and me and Mr. Twit got the same number of votes,
so this knotheaded town made us co-mayors.
As evidenced by this totally genuine, not homemade crown,
and these majestical golden slippers.
Ooh! Now give us our Muggle-Wumps back this instant!
-I'm really scared. -There's nothing to be scared of--
Mandy.
Fire!
Go up to the roof. You can escape, and they won't see you.
And what, let them hurt you kids? Uh-uh.
You were there for us. We are not going to abandon you.
I know we can beat them if we work together.
Yeah.
Some might be more useful than others, but…
Wait, Mr. M, how many of those things can you…
Is "make" the right word?
Hmm.
Time's up, you swazzly little swamp rats!
For the good of Triperot and the good of Twitlandia,
go get our Muggle-Wumps!
Give us those Muggle-Wumps!
I also want the Muggle-Wumps also as well!
Mom, Dad, this is not a nice thing to do!
I want those Muggle-Wumps. I need 'em.
Ready, aim, fire!
Fire!
Snakes. Spiders. Dentists.
-Mimes. -Creepy clowns.
Vermicious Knids.
Bubblegum in your hair.
Forgetting pants when you go to school.
I'm just… I'm… I'm having anxiety about my anxiety.
You know what gives me anxiety, Marty? The thought of going back in that cage.
What in the…?
-Thank you for your service! -Whee!
Whee!
What on earth are these things?
Get back here! Nobody told you you could leave.
Cowards!
-Touchdown! -Yes!
Yes!
Beesha!
What is it, Bub?
Mr. Napkin, don't let them in!
Get out of the way, Crapkin.
We know our Muggle-Wumps are here, so let us in.
Let you in, huh?
Nah.
-I don't think we'll be doing that today. -Hmm?
If you think you're getting into this orphanage,
I say, not on my watch.
Mostly because you took my watch,
but anyhoo…
…not on my watch!
This ain't over.
Oh, I think it is.
We'll be back.
Whoo! Napkin for the Nap-win! Ah!
Wow, Mr. Napkin!
Mr. Napkin.
Did you lick the Sweet-Toed Toad's toes?
I… I guess I did.
I mean, I'd never had a toad talk to me before.
I heard him and thought it sounded interesting,
so I-- I licked the toes.
And as soon as I did, I suddenly felt real crabby.
-And powerful. -Kind of like the opposite of yourself?
Well, yeah, I guess that about sums it up.
That makes sense.
He's an Opposite Toad from Loompaland.
Turmoil in Triperot tonight,
as former mayor Wayne John John-John
recovers from emergency butt replacement surgery.
Meanwhile, Triperot's new mayors, Credenza and Jim Twit,
declared war on some local orphan children and lost.
The victorious youngsters have one brave orphan to thank,
Beesha Balti.
The Muggle-Wump family is under my protection.
So as long as I'm here,
the Twits will never set foot in this orphanage,
and Twitlandia will never ever open.
That little brat's ruining our lives!
What in God's name are you doing down there?
I'm playing with me diarrhea.
You think squishing your face around in diarrhea's
somehow gonna bring them Muggle-Wumps back?
You know how that kid operates.
She's wily like a sea bass.
She ain't never gonna let us get into that orphanage.
Oh, you poor, pointless, old wombat.
Who said anything about going in?
Come on. Enough cleaning, Beesha. Everyone else is asleep up there.
I'm honestly not really tired.
So I might as well take the first watch.
All right, but if you wanna keep those elbows, repeat after me.
"I will sound the alarm if I see the Twits,
and no matter what, I will not go it alone."
I won't go it alone,
and I promise, promise, promise I'll sound the alarm if I see them.
My heart is a door,
and my love goes out into the world through that heart door.
Uh, what?
Oh, no, you're supposed to repeat after me too.
I think I'm good.
Okay, well maybe just do this.
My heart door will stay open
to accept the love of others.
My heart door will stay open to accept the love of others.
Because I deserve to be loved.
Because I… deserve to be loved.
Hello?
Beesha, you won't believe it!
Mr. Napkin? Uh, where are you?
I'm with your parents.
Uh…
-What? -Yeah, they saw you on the news.
They really wanna meet you.
I'm with them right now,
out at the bowling alley on Tripecrest Road.
They seem like real decent folks, Beesha.
They really do.
Don't, Beesha! Don't! It's a trick, isn't it?
Tell me she's not falling for this, Mum.
I can't tell you that.
Remember, when you desperately want something to be true…
It's easy to convince yourself that it is,
even if it's not.
Mom! Dad!
I'm here!
I can't believe you came back.
Ican'tbelieve you came back.
They're never coming back.
I can't believe she fell for it.
The Voice Changer 30,000… …comes through again.
I knew if you heard that potato-brained Napkin's voice,
you'd believe anything.
And you did.
Now let's go get our Muggle-Wumps.
No! No, no, no!
Hmm.
Uh, what's happening?
Is this an earthquake? Where's Beesha?
Come on, Twitheads!
With the proper mob mentality, we can move mountains!
Heave-ho now! Heave-ho!
Heave-ho!
Ho!
Heave-ho!
It's glued shut!
So is this one. We're trapped!
Heave-ho!
Mama!
Help! Help!
Heave-ho!
Hey! Wait for me!
Yee-haw!
Next stop, Twitlandia!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
What happened? How?
Mrs. M? Bubsy?
Mr. Napkin?
Is anyone here?
What did I do?
How could you fall for that, you idiot?
Idiot. Idiot.
I hate them. I hate the Twits so much!
Ow.
What-- What happened? How was…?
The Twits stole the orphanage.
I tried to stop them, but a woman kicked me with denim boots.
Didn't even break her stride.
I grabbed hold of her denim boot.
She shook me once, tried to stomp on me.
Oh, the shame.
I got kicked by a denim boot.
This is all my fault.
I was supposed to be on watch, but I abandoned everyone because…
I am such an idiot!
Thinking my parents would actually come back for me.
Ow!
How is your tongue this--?
You must've licked my toes without me knowing
'cause you're talking opposite right now.
Get it together, kid. Your family needs you.
What family?
Isn't it obvious I don't have a fam--?
Hold on a minute!
If you don't have a family, what do you call Bubsy?
Or the Muggle-Wumps? Or me?
What do you call that bald guy with the high-waisted slacks
who talks about his mom a lot?
Hmm?
I call him Mr. Napkin.
You call him Mr. Napkin.
The way I see it, family isn't just who you're related to.
It's who you care about, and who cares about you,
and treats you with love and kindness and empathy.
You're right.
The Twits hurt our family.
Now it's time to hurt them.
Fun and excitement had a baby
And they called it Twitlandia
Welcome, Twitheads,
to the re-grand opening of Twitlandia!
We are bigger and better than ever!
Bigger and better
Now you can spend the night, and all your money,
at the Twitlandia Luxury Motel & Spa.
And after you have a slice of my famous bird pie,
feel free to use our complimentary Napkin.
Oh, jeez.
Most importantly, thanks to you,
our Muggle-Wumps is back!
Fun and excitement had a baby
They called it Twitlandia
Fun and excitement had a baby
And they called it Twitlandia
Horvis Dungle!
Now, friends, Twitlandia is a fun park that puts family values first,
which is why we want to introduce you to someone very special.
Our precious little son, Butt Cheek Twit.
Aw.
Hello there. My name is Bubsy Twit--
Butt Cheek.
-My name is-- -Ah!
Butt Cheek Twit,
and all I ever wanted was to find a family.
And now, I have one, since Meemaw and Peepaw Twit adopted me
and all of my brothers and sisters.
That's right, folks.
We adapted a whole orphan-anage full of youngsters.
Just to bring you the Twit Family Memorial Song and Dance Extravaganza!
Hey! Hey!
Oh, Jim!
All our dreams are coming true.
I know it, woman.
Nothing could possibly ruin this moment now.
Ha!
Ugh.
Bubs!
I'm so sorry I left you.
Hey, get that girl.
So I can give her a tender embrace.
Oh, what a wonderful child she is.
Now, stop!
You're tickling my whiskers, you little whisker-tickler.
Oh!
-Are you looking for this? -Uh…
Oh, bless her heart.
I think she wants to free the Muggle-Wumps, Jim.
Oh? I would hope so.
It's the right thing to do.
Go free, you precious creatures.
Go free!
Thank you very much.
It feels so good to be good, don't it, James?
It do feel good, like a summer breeze.
Ooh!
Didn't they say we need those Muggle-Wumps to save the town?
Come on, let's go. Everyone hurry.
I kind of like having a beard.
Get a hold of yourself, Harold!
Stop! We're not leaving yet.
Beesha, what are you doing?
We're free. There's nothing more for us to do here.
You're wrong, Mrs. M.
The effects of the toad's toes will wear off,
and the Twits will go back to being twits.
You know better than anyone
that they will keep coming after your family,
and hurting people, and hurting people, and nothing will change.
We have to give them a taste of their own medicine,
with a trick to end all tricks.
But I can't do it alone.
So who's with me?
Beg pardon, Mayor and Mayor Twit,
but you told us if we gave you $1,000 it'd save Triperot
and make us billionaires when the park opened.
Ah, the billionaire thing and pretending we cared about Triperot.
Huh?
That was all a lie.
We spent all your money on fake beards and fireworks.
For pity's sake.
You people gave us hope.
And you gave us everything we ever dreamed of.
But seeing as how we got it by lying and cheating and hurting you,
I… I don't like the woman I've become.
I'm ashamed of myself.
I don't like the man I've become.
I'm so sorry!
Well, "sorry" just ain't gonna cut it.
No way. I just put a down payment on a new marimba.
You lied to us.
We trusted you!
Oh, James, we have taken everything from these poor people.
There's only one thing to do.
Take everything from ourselves.
Friends, we've heard your concerns.
We've got a solution.
We're gonna blow up Twitlandia.
They're gonna what?!
Blow up what?
They're gonna blow it up?
-You mean right here where we're standing? -These people are nuts.
You know, I'm starting to think we should've listened to our daughter
instead of the two strangers we saw getting arrested on the news.
I'm also thinking that also as well.
Oh, I love fireworks, James.
What happened to our fun park?
I have no idea, but I'm certain it's your fault.
Where on earth is our Muggle-Wumps?
There goes the lady one.
Get her.
The Twits are coming! The Twits are coming!
Go, go! More Hugtight glue on the floor. Yeah, right there.
Come on, now.
All we wanna do is lock you in a cage for the rest of your life,
and maybe eat you.
That little beast is going inside our house.
Well, hurry up.
Whoo!
Come on, get in!
It went in there.
What is this?
What's happened? The floor is up there.
We're upside down.
We must be upside down.
I mean, we're standing on the ceiling, looking at the floor.
Oh, help! I'm beginning to feel giddy.
I don't like this one little bit.
The blood's going to my head. I feel like I'm gonna die!
How do I… Oh, I've got it! I've got it! We stand on our heads!
What are you saying?
Stand on your head, and then we'll be the right way up.
-Whoa. -That's better.
Oh…
I'm glued.
It's Hugtight Sticky Glue.
We've been tricked.
You beastly little brats.
You cut us down this instant, or--
Or what? You'll cook us in a pie?
No, you won't.
You're never cooking another pie because you're never getting free.
There's enough cruelty and hatred without the two of you running around.
Trust me, the world will be a much better place without you in it.
Oh! Cut it out.
Please, somebody! There's a grackle eating my face!
Help! I have to go potty.
-Down with the Twits! Whoo-hoo! -Help!
Take that, you dang rabbit.
What do you really think will happen to the Twits?
Who gives a rip?
I know what'll happen.
They're gonna get the Dreaded Shrinks.
That's what happens if you stand on your head long enough.
First, their heads will shrink into their necks.
I'm shrinking!
Somebody save me! I'm getting the Dreaded Shrinks!
Then their necks will shrink into their bodies.
Then their bodies will shrink into their legs.
Then their legs will shrink into their feet,
until there's nothing left in this whole world
of Mr. and Mrs. Twit.
Do you really think that's gonna happen, Bubsy?
I hope it does.
What do you think, Mrs. M? Think they'll melt into a puddle of goo?
Sorry, what's that?
Huh?
I can't understand the Muggle-Wumps, Beesha.
Can you?
Um, Mrs. M?
What's happening?
Why can't I understand you? Why can't I understand you?
Please, no. No, I need you. I-- I need you!
Just as children with a deep sense of empathy
can understand animals,
children without it can't.
It's as simple as that.
You take all the good out of life.
And you're the worst person I've ever met.
Hating you is easy 'Cause you're horrible
What on earth are you gribbly little grubs doing here?
We felt bad about the idea of you getting the Dreaded Shrinks and, you know,
dying a horrible death.
So we came back to save you.
You did?
Sure did.
Hate is…
so easy.
You hate me, I hate you. Yay!
Now we're enemies for life,
and I never have to think about the fact that you're both human beings.
Never have to wonder how badly you must've suffered
to become this mean.
Or imagine what my parents went through when they left me.
Hate's easy.
But it'll eat you up inside
until all that's left is an angry little twit.
I don't wanna live in a world where hate wins.
So yeah, I forgive you.
You're free.
Well, thank you.
Yeah. Thanks.
Now get over here so I can cook you both in a pie.
Get back here, you terrible little turnips!
I'm hungry!
-Oh no. -I was afraid this might happen.
It was worth a try!
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Good job, family.
-Is that how the story ends? -Not quite.
Boing! Boing! Boing!
So long, Mr. and Mrs. Twit.
We'll be taking back our orphanage now.
-Well, that was unexpected. -Yes.
And after Mr. Napkin returned the orphanage to its rightful location,
the Muggle-Wumps sold the formula for their tears
to a multinational corporation
which used the tears to end the world's dependence on fossil fuels.
With the windfall of cash, the Muggle-Wumps bought the orphanage,
adopted Beesha, Bubsy, and all of the other orphans,
and hired Mr. Napkin as a part-time au pair.
For her part, Beesha was credited with saving Triperot from the Twits.
And with her idea to refill Tripe Lake with florbnorbles,
Triperot became the fun capital of the world once more.
And they all lived happily ever after?
Something like that.
Now go to bed.
Oh, man. You've got to at least tell me what happened to the Twits.
All right.
You might think that the Twits would've learned a lesson,
but it's not enough to just learn something.
You have to want to change, and then make an effort to actually do so.
Something the Twits were entirely unwilling to do.
This is the only way to get rid of the side effects
of the Dreaded Shrinks, my angel.
Can you feel them stretching you?
I can. They're stretching me like mad.
Good. That means it's working.
Are you sure my feet are tied properly?
If them strings around my ankles break, it'll be goodbye for me.
That's enough pull to take me to the moon.
What a ghastly thought.
Wouldn't want anything like that to happen, dear me.
No.
I'll get you for this, you grizzly old grunion!
Oi!
Whoa!
Whoo-hoo!
No more beard, Mum!
We're free! We're free from the beard!
Tears are like magic
And laughing is fun
If you can have both of them
Why just have one?
Everything matters
And all things belong
Fear is the same place
That courage comes from
Family's not only
Who you're related to
It's who you care for
And who cares for you
It's easy to hate
What you don't understand
If we don't agree
Could you still take my hand?
Open the door
Look what we've done
Open your heart
How far we've come
Lessons in life
They are learned in reverse
My wisest friends
Talk completely backwards
Nothing is pointless
And nothing's too much
You may feel small
But you are big enough
Open the door
Look what we've done
Open your heart
How far we've come
Open the door
Look what we've done
Open your heart
How far we've come
Open the door
Look what we've done
Open your heart
How far we've come
Open the door
Look what we've done
Open your heart
How far we've come
No!
What?
Huh?
Where on earth are we?
It looks like…
Loompaland.
I don't like this. Not one little bit.
-Mm. -I knew it would end like this.
-This is your fault! -It's your fault, you dung beetle.
Every day I fall in love with you
And then you hurt me
Splitting my heart in two
But then I fall once again
Well, I bought you a diamond ring
Then later you pawned it
Saying you'd lost it, babe
Like a fool, I bought it again
Please
Please don't trick me again
Well, I took you to the opera
I thought it was fancy
I went to the bathroom, babe
And when I came out You had left me alone
Well, we can't go on like this My darling
My heart, it can't take it
If you trick me again, my sweet
Your heart, I will break it
So please
Please don't trick me again
Come on, darling
-All I want is not to be lied to -Please don't trick me again
I don't wanna trick you You don't wanna trick me
Can't we all just get along?
I love you
Do you love me?
Why are we always Fightin' all the time?
I don't like it
The world is red in tooth and claw
Jaws that bite and teeth that gnaw
Hear their screams
Their cries and roars
Our lives are nasty, brutish and short
But in dreams you are safe
In dreams you are free
In that beautiful place
Close your eyes and you'll see
The flowers that smile
The sun, it will shine
And nothing can hurt you now
Only the lucky will survive
Not everyone comes back alive
The light goes out
The shadows fall
No one will hear you when you call
But in dreams you are safe
In dreams you are free
In that beautiful place
Close your eyes and you'll see
The flowers that smile
The sun, it will shine
And nothing can hurt you now
Hooray for ham
La-la, la-la, it's suppertime Hooray for ham, ha-ha, ha-ha
Hooray for ham