Previously on The Real Housewives of Orange County.
So when do you want to move down here with me?
I see a different Vicki. Like you are lighter.
[grunting]
It feels so good to be back.
This is definitely a woohoo moment.
- This is Carmella. - Hi, I'm Carmella.
She's got a little bit of an edge to her,
and oh, my God, she used to be a Playmate!
There's so many layers to Carmella.
You haven't talked to Tamra at all?
I said hi to her and she was pissed at me.
And I'm thinking, why are you pissed at me?
Because the last time I saw you was at the reunion
and you sh-- all over my podcast.
I want to know what happened at the girl's trip.
It was very embarrassing.
There was a lot of talk.
I sat down with Heather and she just very much said
she puts you in a box
and she can compartmentalize her friends.
Heather lead the charge
on all the negative talk about Tamra.
I don't like it.
Well, she just didn't say goodbye,
wouldn't look me in the eye and left.
For her to give this information to Tamra
and cause a problem, what a disappointment.
It's going to come back in a different direction.
[suspenseful music]
[theme music]
HEATHER: My motives are like my taste,
best left unquestioned.
SHANNON: How do I hold it all together?
Resilience and shapewear.
JENN: The truth speaks volumes.
And I'm about to turn it up.
GINA: Just because I'm spoken for,
doesn't mean I won't speak up.
EMILY: My body may be new,
but my mouth is the same as always.
CARMELLA: I'm the center of attention
and a centerfold.
TAMRA: I'm still the hottest housewife,
and that's my opinion.
VICKI: Wives come and go,
but legends, we whoop it up forever.
[upbeat music]
- Hi! Welcome! - Hi.
I'm so excited to be here.
Amazing! We're excited to have you.
I've seen this on the Instagram.
- You're going to fly, Pedranti! - Hi, I'm Jenn.
Oh, my God, I'm scared. Hi!
We're just going to start with a step touch,
I want you guys to hear the rhythm of the music.
So bring your arms up, trust your bungee.
Oh! I love this!
I'm not a huge fan of exercise.
I need to be more stable.
Oh sh--.
My arms aren't strong enough!
I'm gonna hold on to the penis so I can get up.
Oh, my God, no! I can't do it.
I was on the phone with Gina recently,
I had packages at my front door
and I ate it.
Oh, my God.
I... I need to figure out better balance.
Right, left, lunge. Right, left, tap.
[laughing]
Shannon is a disaster.
Honestly, though, I feel like the bungee cord is good for her,
because now she can fall and she's not going to get hurt.
[Shannon screaming]
I feel like Shannon should walk through life with a bungee cord.
Nice, that's it!
[grunting]
Yes. Rise, Shannon!
Great work, everyone!
Give yourselves a round of applause.
So, go ahead and feel free to stick around,
and yeah, it was a pleasure working out with y'all.
So you can see, I've been coming here quite some time.
Yeah. The only time I work out is when I'm with Jenn.
Well, you're very lucky that you look like you look.
She's young. You're young, see?
Well, speaking of young, Emily is now 50.
And I know we went to Paris.
But I feel like she didn't get to celebrate
with anybody home.
So I want to do a party for her here.
Absolutely.
I love to give Emily crap about getting old,
so I arranged to have a bingo drag brunch
and then I want all of us to dress up like old ladies.
Like Golden Girls, old lady...
Yeah, like I'm gonna really go for it.
Like she'll get to stand out and really be extra hot.
So we're all gonna look like sh--
and she's going to look amazing, basically.
- Yes! Yes! - But she deserves it.
I have my work cut out for me.
How do you feel like last night went?
It was beautiful.
Did you even say hello to Tamra?
No. And, you know what, you guys,
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, but you always take that approach, I can't do it.
I always take that approach?
Well, you've been taking that approach.
One thing that you'll say is that Dubrow likes to
keep her hands clean.
And sometimes it's feeling like you want me to do it.
- You want Emily to do it. - Oh, absolutely not.
Me doing that, it looks like I'm trying to get
the whole group to gang up on Tamra,
and that isn't the intent.
Like, what are you talking about, Jenn?
I may have expressed opinions...
It's frustrating that when we're alone with Heather,
she'll say certain things,
and then when we're all together as a group,
she's like buddy-buddy.
But under no way, shape or form,
did I expect her to
say things on my behalf.
You had said, I wish Heather
would be more transparent about Tamra.
I can do that on my own.
I was like, forget it.
I'm just going to say it to Tamra. And I did.
She basically told Tamra that we all talk sh--
about her when she's not there.
- I did. - Oh.
But the problem was, I brought up Heather.
And then Tamra walked away, kind of icy to Heather.
Heather is no dummy.
She knows now that Tamra is pissed,
and I'm sure Heather's looking at me like,
what the [bleep] did you just do that for?
My intention was not to cause problems for Heather and Tamra.
You know what, I thought, let's get all of it out.
I will speak up, I know it's hard for Heather.
I'm going to speak up for my girlfriend.
And it is nice to know that you have someone.
I always feel in this group like everyone sort of buddies up...
And I don't feel like I have a buddy.
- You have to be my buddy now. - I am your buddy.
I left and I get in the car and I have a text from Tamra
saying like, I just appreciate you so much.
And I'm like, [beep], Tamra reaching out,
that's very kind, but in my mind, I'm like,
that was not my intent.
The fact that I feel like I do have a friendship with Heather
and now I've caused this problem,
I could see this spiraling and I want to fix it.
- Thank you, guys, for coming. - This was fun.
- I don't think I can stand up. - Do you want help?
No! I got to put my weight up.
Yeah, Gina, look at you counting your water.
You're so healthy right now.
[upbeat music]
Yeah. I like the looks to him.
Okay, cool. I'm gonna just switch the pose.
Is that for Shane?
Yes, but to sit on.
Is that a form of body shaming?
So what is this podcast for?
So you know that we did Legally Brunette.
We did the shots for Legally Brunette,
which were amazing, by the way.
They're all crooks.
I love how you call everyone a crook,
that's just your catch-all for anyone you don't like.
A lot of these cases that we talked about
had to do with husbands unaliving wives,
or wives unaliving husbands.
Why not separate that out
and just have its own podcast,
so we're going to call it 'Till Death Do Us Part.
Oh, my gosh, I love that.
So right after we finish these photos
we're going to go record our first episode.
- So we'll reset in this area. - Okay, sounds good.
- Alright. - Awesome. Thank you.
Are you ready to do the podcast?
- Yeah. - Did you do your research?
Yeah.
I'm glad we're taking those cases and separating them out.
I mean, we wouldn't be doing more if it was tanking.
She's got a podcast on my network...
I'm not on your network anymore!
- Oh, sweetheart, yes, you are. - Don't call me sweetheart.
We had to put you back on because when you got off,
it tanked.
Starting out under Two Ts was great,
because we had a built-in audience.
But Gina is telling me that Tamra is mad at me
because I didn't show gratitude.
She put out a post that said,
oh, we're going to our own feed.
There's no, thank you, Teddy, thank you, Tamra,
thank you, Two Ts.
I felt like she was being ungrateful.
- I can't continue down the same road
of whenever she gets mad at me, that's what she goes for.
I mean, if you want to call me a bitch, that's fine.
But when you say something about my podcast that isn't accurate,
that really pisses me off.
Why are you insulting something that makes you money?
I can only assume that your intent is to humiliate me.
So just say you're sorry.
We're too old to act like this.
How about you put together a card,
a thank you card, and then, what can she do then?
You want me to give her a thank you card?
Yeah, but you're like, here you go!
What's she going to do now?
Complain that the card wasn't big enough?
You're saying lay down?
That's how I've stayed married to you, is all.
[laughing]
[upbeat music]
Hi, welcome in.
Hi! It's chilly out there.
I know. We have a heater right above you guys.
- Okay, thank you. - Of course. Enjoy.
- Hi. - How are you?
Good. Let's have a drink.
Hi, ladies.
Can I get a glass of chardonnay?
Yeah. Beautiful.
I'd like an espresso martini, please, but no dairy.
No dairy? We can get that for you right now.
- We'll get that started. - Thank you.
Can you go like this? No, the other side.
There's something in my hair?
No, no, it's just, there we go.
- It's sand. - Where were you?
- Paddle boarding. - You and Eddie?
Yes.
[chuckling]
The wind was so strong,
I should never have been out there.
Thank you.
I'm done with the daredevil sh--.
Oh, I can't do it anymore.
As I get older, my nervous system is getting really weird.
Okay. Meaning what?
I haven't slept in two nights.
No, I know. I didn't go to sleep until 2:00 AM last night.
I didn't like the way we ended the party.
I didn't like you walking off,
I didn't like the conversation I had with Jenn afterwards,
I didn't like any of it.
- Jenn... - What did she say?
I just want to let you know
that Heather says things behind your back.
Oh, stop.
And then, I'm put in a box.
And... basically I'm not friends with you like I think I am.
That is infuriating.
We haven't talked about Tamra, oh, except when you asked me
47 questions to define our relationship.
Does she ever cross a line with you that you say, that's enough?
What bucket do you put her in?
You're going to see Tamra and tell her what?
- I'm going to see her... - You're gonna remind her what?
But I feel like I'm being baited here.
They don't understand I can have a problem with your behavior
and then reach out to you and talk to you as a friend,
Okay, you talk about me like I'm a serial killer.
I mean, I don't feel like you like me.
I'm not trying to make you sound like a serial killer.
I could not have been more in your corner.
But you did have a lot of outbursts last year.
I can see why it's confusing to Jenn.
For Heather to say negative things about me
and then be nice to me in person at her party,
that's the part about Heather that I feel that is a little
bit man... Manipulative.
Manipla... Man...
Heather is controlling.
Do you think because you're around a bunch of Tamra haters
you minimize our friendship?
- No, I think-- - Just to appease them?
No. Just because you don't like someone's behavior,
that doesn't mean you hate that person.
Does it mean that you put them in a box?
Well, yeah. I did say I put people in boxes.
There's acquaintance boxes, there's people you tell--
So am I in a different box
than what the rest of the girls are in?
No, everyone's in their own box,
and I have different relationships with everyone.
And that's what I was trying to explain to Jenn.
Trust is something that is earned.
I don't trust you with my feelings.
But you don't want to hear what I have to say--
No, you don't want to hear what I have to say.
Okay. In years past, there were probably many things
I wouldn't say directly to Tamra,
because she's scary sometimes.
But you have to compartmentalize certain parts of people,
so you can enjoy the other parts of them.
Because no one is perfect.
If you have a problem with me,
I want you to tell me what the problem is.
I told you exactly how I felt about what happened
at the Quiet Woman, I told you I was embarrassed.
Was I mincing words with you? No.
I am not telling you that I've never talked about you. I have.
I'm being very honest with you.
And I appreciate that.
I think that Heather changes her personality
with who she hangs out with.
Don't talk to them about me.
Oh, I'm not going to.
I'm hoping she'll stop, but if she doesn't,
these girls are going to let me know,
because they're getting sick of it too.
Can I at least be in a box with a pretty bow?
With diamonds.
[chuckling]
Not lab, though.
[upbeat music]
Coming up...
When you met your ex-husband, were you working at the time?
I was naked. In a magazine.
Oh!
[upbeat music]
Hi! How are you?
I haven't seen you for a while.
Look at you, you look great.
What happened?
[chuckling]
Wait, what kind of bag is this?
- Jean-Paul Gauthier. - Oh. It's Hermès-looking.
You have tons of great things.
Hi there! This is my friend, Kirsten, this is her store.
Hi! Carmella, nice to meet you.
I don't even know your last name.
- Garcia. - Garcia.
We started with champagne, so. Do you want some champagne?
I'll have a few sips, thank you. Thank you.
- Are you working? - I was working, yes.
Thank you.
So I'll show you the pants that I thought were very cute.
- Oh, it's so cute in here. - Boats pants.
Yeah. I like it.
So I wanted to ask you, Gina is throwing a surprise birthday
for Emily for her 50th birthday.
I'd love for you to come.
I would love to, that sounds so much fun.
When I met Carmella,
she had a really good energy and attitude.
Shannon has such genuine energy.
I can feel that she's a girl's girl.
Carmella lives part of the time
in the area where I grew up.
- Are you from the Ranch? - Wait, what?
I'm so excited that she's my neighbor.
She's just easy. Easy but in a good way.
Did you get to interact with Heather much?
I know it was her party.
I did get to talk to her a little bit.
She throws a mean party, I was so impressed with that.
I know, everything is always over the top.
- Did you talk to Tamra? - A little bit but not much.
You made that comment and I'm like, I like you!
She's dressed like Mary, Queen of Angels right now.
Miss Conservative, which is a ----ing joke.
- You're just cool and funny. - Oh. Oh.
And it was just easy instead of feeling like,
you know, are you married? Are you divorced?
Are you... And I'm like, my sh--'s messed up, like.
It's not the most...
I mean, but, by the way, whose isn't?
Maybe I get a little self-conscious...
How long were you married?
For probably like 12 or 13 years.
But it was like, I was 21. I was young...
I married an NFL quarterback. Jeff Garcia.
Honestly, I really don't know how it happened,
because I look at Jeff and I and we are so different.
Like he was 34, I was 21.
And we never divorced.
A lot of people stay married, even though they're not.
We've been apart for a lifetime. He seemed like such an adult.
Like he was playing for the Browns,
I was drunk on the JumboTron,
he would ask me if I could please stop drinking,
I'm like throwing up.
I was a mess.
When you met your ex-husband, were you working at the time?
I was.
I was naked.
- In a magazine. - Oh!
And so I was working for Playboy at the time.
He was the starting quarterback,
I was the reigning Playmate of the year.
- I mean, that's an honor. - Thank you.
- You were Playmate of the year? - Yeah.
- Come on! - Thank you.
Were you at the Playboy Mansion?
Yeah, so it was fun.
The early 2000s, like everybody was at the Playboy Mansion.
George Clooney, Michael Bay, David Schwimmer.
Like I remember leaving a Halloween party
one night with Leo DiCaprio.
I'm like 20 years old,
driving to his house through the Hollywood Hills,
listening to the Eminem song, Lose Yourself.
And I'm literally like losing myself.
I did not sleep with him, though. But I should've.
And then I worked for WWE.
- Oh, wow. - Remember? The wrestling?
Yes.
I was on Monday Night Raw for them.
Really? Carmella's a little racy.
But I don't know, she seems like she's really sweet.
I like her.
I maybe need to be standing near you.
If I need protection.
I love this t-shirt.
You can check it out. It's adorable.
Is that your coat?
- The Dior? - Yes.
My real love affair is with Christian Dior and not...
I don't need a man, I have Dior.
I'm going to get the bag.
I'm going to give you a discount, too.
- Thank you so much. - Thank you.
- You enjoy. - Thank you.
[upbeat music]
- Hello? - Hey!
- How are you? - I'm good.
I'm good, I ordered food for us.
- Oh God, you're limping. - My tendons are like...
So you did it working out?
Yeah. Working out is bad for you.
No, I felt something snap, I go, my knee, my knee.
She goes, you're fine. It's bad.
Did you have fun at Heather's party?
I don't know, did you?
- You crack me up. - The whole party was weird.
Everybody was in these little cluster groups, I'm like--
So Jenn, who I don't have the best relationship with,
she's like, I really want to move forward
and the problem is like I don't know if we can move forward
because Heather always talks behind your back.
I think that Heather,
she's basically downplaying our friendship to them.
Are you really close friends with Heather?
I think Heather is surface friends.
She's a people pleaser.
And when somebody doesn't like her,
she goes to them and kind of love bombs them,
oh, we're good, we're such good friends.
Because if she does that,
then they won't talk about her.
I don't begrudge Heather wanting to be liked by everyone.
I want to be liked by everyone.
Our food is on the porch. I'll be right back.
She did send a welcome back text.
Like, welcome to the group, Vicki,
I'm the leader of the pack.
Heather, you're not the leader of the pack, I am.
I want to get your opinion on this,
because Heather really gave it to me.
She loves to reprimand me.
I did not like the way you spoke to Emily at the reunion.
What you said about her podcast, it was so mean.
Me and Teddy have built this network on iHeart.
So iHeart gave us our own network
where we can hire, and we get a percentage
of each podcast that we put in.
We tested Emily out and when--
[snoring]
I know. When the podcasts go out,
they go out to all of our subscribers.
A lot of people actually get annoyed with me and Teddy
for having some of the other podcasts below us on our feed.
They think they're getting Two Ts in a Pod,
recapping shows, and they get Legally Brunette.
Then I get DMs saying, why do you guys do that?
You shouldn't push it out as 'your' podcast.
Zero gratitude whatsoever,
and she says, I'm not on your feed, I'm not this.
I'm like, are we in the Twilight Zone? Yes, you are!
If you look at the numbers, when she's on our feed,
there is a huge, huge difference.
So for me it felt ungrateful.
When I hear this, I hear...
[quacking]
- It's like Charlie Brown. - How do you think I felt?
Who has time to listen to all these podcasts?
What are they doing? Are they not working?
[continues quacking]
[phone chimes]
[gasps]
- What? - Michael.
I have to go to the desert house.
Are you saying that because you want me to go with you
to the desert house and to Lake Havasu?
[laughing]
I was just thinking today how fun it would be
to go to Havasu.
[police sirens]
Why do you want to push it with the cops?
Oh, you're a lying sack of dogsh--.
[indistinct cheering]
- Those were the good old days. - Those were great, fun days.
Do you talk to Donn?
I didn't tell you this but Donn lives in the desert.
We were at The Nest and he was there.
I kind of pushed Mike off so I could get out
and then I took Donn's face and I said,
I hope you're doing good.
It was a nice encounter, so to speak,
but it was hard for me, because I flashed back
to all our life together.
Vowed to be together for forever.
Why are selling the family van?
Honey, we're just going to make it work.
It's hard.
How was it, like super weird? Was it like...
I just wanted to hug him and kiss him, and just be like,
I'm so sorry I divorced you. I didn't mean to do that.
And Mike's standing there going, uh, hi,
I'm Vicki's boyfriend, Mike.
Ick!
And, of course, I heard about it in the car.
Like, I'm so sorry, I felt so bad.
It overtook your body.
I know I'm a different person now with Michael
than I was with Donn.
I value our time together more than I did when I was married.
Because I took it for granted.
He's such a good guy. He really is.
- Yeah, yeah. - And that's why it works.
I don't ever worry he's going to cheat on me.
And he doesn't have to worry about me cheating,
because I did it once and it was a horrible outcome.
[laughing]
Don't ever cheat.
Coming up.
I'm trying to get to a point
where we're not yelling at each other
and saying your podcast is tanking.
Absolutely. I made money off of you.
[upbeat music]
You both should help me cut these.
I don't know how to cut flowers good.
Just grab me the hydrangeas. And then I'll cut us some roses.
Presley, I know you're not used to helping, honey,
but we're going to try new things today.
- That's actually not true. - That's the freezer and...
Yes, but you said the fridge.
That fridge. The water fridge.
Before I got married, I didn't even like kids.
It grossed me out.
[laughs]
It's true, though.
You go garden mom.
I love my children and I didn't want to stop having them.
Hell no.
Do I look like the lady in the water
having like a natural child birth?
I was, like, knock me out. Give me everything you got!
Wake me up when it's over.
Are you guys happy that I instituted Apple Cash?
- No. - No.
I want your credit card back.
Yeah, I want the credit card back.
I've been pulling money out of my chequing's account.
What do you mean--
A girl spends 200 dollars on lashes a month.
A girl has to eat.
I only get $200 a month on Apple Cash.
Come back to me and say, "Mom, how can I help?
Can I earn some additional money?"
Presley is turning 18 soon.
She is a firecracker.
She's a natural athlete, she plays girl's football.
She's like her dad.
You have to know the value of the dollar.
If I don't teach you this, how are you gonna know to hustle?
Girl, we can hustle. We're Garcias.
It doesn't work like that.
Oh, girl, it does.
Faith is 14.
She's smart, she doesn't take no for an answer.
She's legit gonna be the president.
Can you check your brother's location?
Wait, which brother?
Jax is 15 and then JJ,
my first boy is almost 17.
He has a little mouth on him too.
Where's Jax?
- He's with his friends. - What do you mean?
He's supposed to be a track.
[giggles]
Text Jeff Garcia.
Hi, are you with Jax at track?
Why would Dad be there with Jax?
Because he was supposed to get him.
Growing up in Ohio, I had very, very strict parents.
I feel like I was a very good kid
and then the control was so, so ultra-strict
that I kind of just hit a point
where I went the other way.
- Hi Jax. - Jax, why aren't you a track?
Oh, it, like, made a mistake on your location?
You better get your ass to track.
I remember sneaking out, car was leaking oil,
I'm on the freeway, the car blows up
and I hitch-hiked because I was so afraid of my mom.
So, do I think I'm a strict parent? Yes.
But I also kind of know where the line is.
I don't want my child hitch-hiking versus calling me.
Did you handle this with Jax,
or, like, what am I supposed to do with this?
He's gotta honor his commitments, so...
Thank you for handling that.
I thought he would go, I didn't know he would skip.
Did you need a ride?
No, Jeff is getting him.
But, like, he's supposed to be at track.
I could check Dad's location.
Danny's my boyfriend, we live together full-time.
I love him very much.
Make sure you put that part in there.
I'm gonna go work on the AC.
I met him and my whole life was falling apart.
In the first conversation,
he told me he was divorced twice.
I'm like, well, you probably don't want kids.
and he's like, "I love kids."
I'm like, sold!
Hi, Jax.
What have you been doing?
What do you think?
And so to meet somebody
that was like accepting of me and my children and what was,
like, the most important to me meant something.
I don't give a [bleep] about anybody's opinion
or if I'm a helicopter parent or if I'm too much.
Like, I'm gonna do me and my kids are everything.
You're not just letting your coach down, bud.
You're letting your teammates down.
It's more of an individual thing.
Oh.
Yeah, so, I'm not really letting my teammates down,
'cause I don't really have any.
Alright, so that one didn't work.
I can't with you guys. I can't.
[upbeat music]
Today we're celebrating my birthday.
I thought it was supposed to be a surprise birthday.
No, I get picked up in a car, car takes me somewhere.
I don't know any details.
I never thought I would actually be 50.
It just seemed so far away.
I feel like I've accomplished a lot of things.
I graduated from law school, I passed two bar exams,
I've been married to the same man for 17 years.
I think I'm a pretty damn good mom,
I have a successful podcast.
I have a lot more to do but it has to be done before 9:00 PM.
I'm old. I feel very tired.
You're old.
You're supposed to say wise.
But you're not, you're just old.
[upbeat music]
Oh, drafty!
Hi! You look fabulous.
- So do you. - Thank you.
- Welcome, welcome, welcome. - I'm in my mature era.
- Oh, I love that. I love that. - Yes.
You don't have your walker or anything?
No, no. I'm up and I'm-- I've been doing the pep talk.
So, this what we're working with.
Okay, good. Oh, it's so cute. Oh, I love it so much!
I think this might be my vibe from now on.
You can't walk so fast.
Let me use your shoes, you take the slippers.
No, I don't want the slippers!
How did I get so old?
58.
The Golden Girls were 52!
- Oh! - Oh! Jeez.
- Is this it? - Where are we?
- Gonna have a hamburger. - Oh, my--
You got your-- your outfit half off.
[laugh track]
[women squeal]
Oh! Old lady down, old lady down.
Tamra, do you not have pants on?
No, she forgot 'em!
I keep forgetting you don't really need this.
No, she kind of does.
Tamra looked ----ing insane.
I just picture, like, her and Vicki as old ladies
and she's like, "You know, back in my day, darling,
we were the OGs of the OC."
[cheering]
Oh, my God, it's so good. You look so disturbing.
Where do we go to go to the restroom,
'cause otherwise I gotta borrow your Depends.
Oh, God, look at Heather.
She looks like Cruella de Ville.
- Hello! - Well, hello.
You look like your mother.
Well, listen, I'm married to a plastic surgeon
so it's all gonna stay the same.
You...
[laughter]
Oh! My god.
I adore. You look fabulous.
But not even a wrinkle on your face.
- We're well maintained. - Well, yes.
I mean, it's like my-
I've had, like, five face lifts now.
- Of course. - Pull up a chair.
Shannon looks amazing, she looks like a Kennedy.
And she fits in with them too. She's like whacked out.
She's a perfect Kennedy.
Did you talk to Jen after that situation?
- Have you talked to her? - No.
I spent a lot of time and energy and money
on that party
and honestly the thrust of this party was friendship.
And the only person there
that was turning things upside down was Jenn.
Oh, there she is.
Wow, you guys are like pretty grandmas.
Pretty?
Wow, you guys are like pretty grandmas.
Pretty? She's wearing a diaper.
I just get to let it rip!
I'm dying, okay.
Welcome to the party, gorgeous.
- Welcome, welcome, welcome. - Thank you!
That dump truck.
- Oh. - Oh, my gosh!
Oh, hello great-grandma!
Oh, hello!
- You look wonderful. - Another housecoat.
I like that you leaned in.
Carmella sit here, honey.
Thank you.
- Is that your walker? - Yep.
Oh, I love this!
So, you live in Corona Del Mar?
But you're in San Diego too, right?
Yes, both.
When I went through my separation, I felt like
I kind of just needed, like, a breath of fresh air.
I like that Carmella girl, she's good.
She was a Playmate.
She was a Playboy Playmate of the Year.
She's a badass real estate agent too.
She's a developer. Yeah, she's in development.
I do more development.
Anything from down to the studs
to cosmetic to brand new build.
Okay, got it.
We're different lanes.
Okay, I didn't know that.
Which is actually probably healthy for us, yes.
Your rings are beautiful.
Oh, thank you.
That was actually a gift.
When my husband cheated, I was, like,
I'm never wearing this again
because I realized what the gift was from.
I found out that he had been unfaithful
kind of by accident.
He left an iPad on the nightstand,
and there was a letter written
to a woman
and the phone number that he gave
was a different number.
And I was, like, hell no, you mother ----er.
So, are you guys still together?
- No. - Oh, you're divorced.
So, we're not legally divorced.
You know, California it's like 50/50 custody
and I would've died.
They were three, four, five and six,
and I was unwilling to lose my children
for part of that time.
I hated his guts, but then, at a certain point,
it's self-sacrifice.
You loved your children more than you hated him
is what it was. - Yes.
So, does he live at the house
in Rancho Bernardo when you're living here--
No, we have another house that he lives in with his girlfriend.
I hate that you own a house with him
and he's got another girl in there.
I don't like that.
He does, but you know what? I like her.
She's nice to my kids.
So, when you're in Orange County then,
the kids can stay with him in San Diego?
Basically, so they stay all over.
Jeff and I don't have a custody agreement,
we share them.
And if one of them needs their mom and it's 11:00 at night,
I'm going over to Jeff's and I'm picking them up.
And then we spend holidays together,
even on my birthday last year, like, Jeff and his girlfriend
came to the movies with us,
and we try to just show the kids that there's like unity.
Some will come up to Orange County, some stay with him--
That's a lot of dysfunction for a four, fifth and sixth grader.
- They're almost adults. - They're in high school.
Where is Emily?
We need our birthday queen.
Oh, my goodness.
Welcome to Hamburger Mary's, everybody!
[cheering]
Alright, ladies, we're gonna have a good old time today
playing bingo for celebrating a special birthday!
[cheering]
She's coming in, she's coming in, she's coming in.
I don't where to go.
- I see them. - Oh, my goodness!
I think it's the lady we've all been waiting for.
[cheering]
You guys, you guys, Emily's here!
Our special lady. Today's cherry bingo.
Now I see them!
The birthday girl herself, the gorgeous Emily!
[cheering]
I couldn't find any of you!
[overlapping chatter]
I don't know why.
Oh, my God, this is hilarious.
You look so good.
- Happy birthday. - Thank you.
I feel like I got dropped off at the wrong place,
and then I saw Victoria.
She looks just like Thelma Harper
from Momma's Family.
Tamra and Vicki looked like they escaped from hospice
and someone's looking for them.
I wanted you to be hotter than everybody.
Oh, my God.
We're playing bingo, dear.
Alright.
Welcome to Hamburger Mary's, let's play some bingo.
Our first number in bingo,
G52.
Oh!
Granny's got it.
O73.
Nothing.
B10.
N39.
I16.
Woo!
I'm missing the numbers.
Now if you get close to bingo scream, "It's on!"
Oh!
Oh, we got multiple people.
Multiple partners?
Yes, it's Vicki.
I have never been with multiple partners in my life!
Multiple partners is not on my bingo card
and I don't want them.
Who's looking for an O?
I am!
- We all are. - We all want an O.
I'll take an O anytime of the day.
With Sophia moving out,
I can use a few more Os in my life.
O72.
Oh, it's on!
It's on in multiple ways.
B13.
B13!
[screaming]
Alright, there we go!
Emily's gonna take my bingo.
Oh, my gosh, we have a birthday miracle!
[cheering]
Congratulations!
[cheering]
Do you have anything to say to the Academy?
Thank you for this honor of turning 50.
- Welcome to the club! - Finally, catching up.
I feel old as [bleep]
But I don't look old as [bleep]
[cheering]
Coming up.
Putting my name in your mouth,
you're sort of teaching me how we're gonna be together.
Then don't share with me how real feelings--
But stop asking me.
So, how's it feel to be 50?
I don't like it.
- Really? - Why?
You look better than ever!
I know, it's just like the actual number when you say it,
it sounds old.
Wait till you get to be 63 turning 64.
I'm asking the elders at the table.
Oh, how about wise people?
Um, the wise owls of the table.
Who?
Whooo?
What advice do you have for Emily?
Turning's 50 a big deal.
Can you pass me a Twizzler, I'm starving.
I always say in your 50s
you don't worry about the same stuff.
I feel like I thrive more in my 50s
than I did in any other era of my life.
Being totally real in your 50s
the thing, you have to be careful of is your own brain.
Ooh.
Hormones are a little bit different,
life sometimes gets a little tumultuous
and things shift in your friendships,
in your relationship and how you handle it,
and how you talk to yourself
is what's gonna define your decade.
- Good advice. - Oh, I love that.
Good advice.
I will tell you, when I turned 50,
I thought I was old,
but I look at all the things I've been through since my 50s,
got divorced, started over and today in the 60s,
I hate the number but I feel younger than I ever have.
So, it is a number--
- It's all up here. - Yeah.
- How are the 60s? - I hate it.
- Why? - It's not particularly fun.
Because my mortality is staring me in the face.
- Oh, don't say that. - It is.
Vicki has talked about dying forever.
You know, what's going to be sad is one day when one of us dies.
Vicki, I felt that when I was turning 40.
Shut up!
I think 40s is such an amazing decade for women.
Because you're old enough to be an adult and know yourself.
And you marry the man of your dreams.
And you do all those things.
Or you don't and you're okay if you don't.
Carmella, do you have boyfriend or don't you have a boyfriend?
I've dated somebody on and off for the last decade.
And, so, we're in a rebuild trust situation.
And why are we rebuilding trust, can I ask that?
Because of infidelity.
- Oh. - Not me.
Was it a long term, was it a one night stand?
It was not a one night stand.
He's the not the one that gave you the ring,
that was your husband- ex-husband?
And this has been an internal struggle
which is why the on and off.
To me that's a red flag because it's not--
So is his [bleep] in someone else.
Big red flag.
That's a big red [bleep]!
Thank you.
I'm not understanding Carmella at all.
Her ex-husband cheated on her,
she's got four kids and she's moving around a lot.
Lord knows I haven't always been stable with my decisions
but we have a responsibility with our children.
So, I don't know how her children
are going to be affected by all of this.
And it's way to say "leave him" than actually leave him.
It's terrible.
And you're going to do it in your own time.
I love Danny, that's reason that's he's here.
I do believe that's he's sorry,
I do believe that he's changing
but I struggle getting over what took place.
Especially because I left a marriage
with my four children for that very same reason.
What do your close girlfriends say about your boyfriend?
They always just support.
So, they're not honest with you?
You better get used to something different in this group.
But I want to say something to that.
Okay.
Because it was not my space to share with Tamra
a conversation that you and I had.
I appreciate you saying that.
You know, I spent a lot of energy and a lot of money
quite frankly putting on this party
to celebrate our friendships,
and saying how we all feel as a group.
And that's--
And putting my name in your mouth,
you're sort of teaching how we're gonna be together.
If we have a conversation and I feel like it's gonna be,
like, twisted.
You were talking about not having a buddy.
Do you not feel close with Tamra?
That's why Tamra comes up!
God's sake, this stuff bores my ass.
You bring her up and then you
repeat that I'm talking about her,
I'm talking about her but you're bring her up.
I am here right now. I'm here.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
I understand what you're saying.
You feel certain ways that you think I'm feeling.
I don't feel that way.
If we're both venting about something, that doesn't mean
I have a global issue with someone.
Than don't share with me how real feeling--
But stop asking me.
I like Jenn, but I feel a little bit of the wind
taken out of my sails with her.
So, stepping back box.
Who is Heather?
And if you're doing this to Tamra,
what are you doing behind my back?
I have no right to use any of your words
that you share with me
and anything with any of us girls.
And what you have with Tamra is your business and not mine.
- Thank you. - That's respectable.
Since we're in the spirit of clearing the air.
Oh, what now?
- Let Tamra. - Oh, mother---er.
Since we're in the spirit of clearing the air.
Oh, what now?
- Let Tamra. - Oh, mother---er.
Listen, this podcast thing has become an issue.
I don't want to have something that's detrimental to us.
I agree.
We've been friends for a long time.
You were upset because you feel like when I posted and said,
hey we moved on to our own feed that I didn't show gratitude.
So, I did that because iHeart texted me
and said, hey can you just post on Instagram
that you have your own feed
so that people start to follow you there.
So, to me that was just a business logistical thing,
I just did what was asked of me.
Okay. But when someone's like, I'm not on your feed, I'm not--
I'm like, but yeah you are.
My concern is that you would,
like, just, like, grateful, that's it.
You know, you don't go to the Grammy's and just go,
"I did it myself."
No, there's a thank you speech that you do.
Rude!
I'm trying to get to a point
where we're respecting each other
and not yelling at each other at a reunion
and saying, your podcast is tanking.
You have to admit that was mean.
That was mean, but you also would not acknowledge that you
were still on our feed.
But whether if she does or doesn't,
why would you undercut her?
Well, why would she not be grateful to me?
I am grateful.
We can just support each other and say,
you're doing great, I'm doing great.
We're both benefiting from it.
Absolutely, I make money off of you.
So, then you should thank me.
You know, I would hate to say that I think Tamra
might be slightly jealous of the success.
Why else would you be so vindictive and mean
about something that's doing well and is benefiting you?
Two Ts does great,
I'm very grateful that we were able to start there.
That's it?
Like a thank you would've been great.
I feel like I've said thank you multiple times.
- I don't think you have, Emily. - Have I not shown gratitude?
Here today!
It's the same thing, you're apologizing here,
I'm showing gratitude here.
Okay, so, you're apologizing, I'm apologizing.
Yes! So, I'm saying, like, now let's move forward
and just be supportive of each other.
- So, what are we arguing about? - We're not.
It's like, I'm going to give you something, weaponize it
and then make you say, "thank you."
I honestly feel like Emily's showing much restraint
as a 50-year-old because 49-year-old Emily
would've ----ing dragged Tamra across the table.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was angry,
it wasn't an accurate thing to say.
Thank you.
And the thing is if you don't have a good product,
it's not gonna work.
But you do.
- I do, yes. - It is working.
Thank you for acknowledging that.
It does very well, it's good.
This is how mature women handle things, okay?
Women of a certain age!
Alright, we're done with this.
- Done. - Thank you.
Oh, wait, hold on.
We get our feelings out, we love each other
and then we move on because we got doctor's appointments
to go to, let's be honest.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Oh, yay! Birthday cake!
[cheering]
Thank you.
[cheering]
Yay, cake!
To be 50 again.
Here's a knife.
You might want to take that away from her.
I don't know who told you, you shouldn't give that to her.
[laughter]
Everybody take a bite.
Oh, my God, I love birthday cake.
- Shocker. - It's my favorite.
And by the way you've never ----ing looked better.
- Thank you. - You look so amazing.
Thank you.
- Cheers to that! - Cheers to 50 and fabulous.
Cheers to being 50 and not fat!
Oh! This is for you.
Those are my pubes.
No faux on that box!
Next on the Real Housewives of Orange County...
I don't want to get paralyzed.
Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ow!
Carmella you brought a Dior clutch!
Was the intent to actually give me a nice or gift
or did she want to give me a moment or something?
Your parents aren't together anymore.
Is that something that's still weighing on you?
Yeah.
Can you move on with Shannon?
You said I was a drunk, that I'll never get a man
and that I have no money.
Oh, my God!