Previously on "The Real Housewives
of Orange County"...
The sale of the home is done.
$55 million isn't " you" money.
It's " everybody you've ever known" money.
I didn't tell any of them that we sold our house.
How do you share something
when you're damned if you do
and you're damned if you don't?
I really just want a fresh start, I do.
And even though Ryan's made mistakes,
I should have never said anything.
I wanna believe so bad that she means it this time.
I'm surprised we didn't get branded with HDs
when we got here.
Heather told me that Shannon was talking sh--
about me at BravoCon.
Let's go to Mexico!
Tequila.
There we go.
All right, there it is.
I cannot believe that you fully moved
out of your house and you didn't say
anything to any of us.
You can't trust us.
Heather says to me,
"Shannon Beador had a lot of crappy things
to say about you guys."
I never said that.
You're a----ing liar.
Just because you say something emphatically
doesn't make it true.
Just because you do this with your----ing hands
doesn't make it true either.
What's for dinner?
Are we having food?
Or should we put sand on our plate?
Anything else?
Y'all good now?
There is a dessert bar.
I already ate dessert.
I should have had the dessert bar with you.
I don't know what we're doing.
We're excited. We're figuring it out.
The sale of the house is huge.
Why did I even think that by sharing good news,
that it would be met with anything
other than this bullsh--?
We're just gonna go around the table
and say what you're mad at me about?
Oh, there's, like, boxes right there.
It's pizza.
- I don't know though. - No, that's Heather's gift.
- Those are your gifts. - Oh, yeah.
I'll get those. - Oh, great.
Heather got us presents. - Perfect timing.
- I don't know. - Excuse me, senoritas.
That makes sense.
I mean, does the waiter wanna come over?
And should I apologize to him as well?
It's enough.
Heather, do you want us to eat first?
Yeah, eat.
Definitely eat.
I don't really feel like that went that great.
Are you pissed?
I'm----ing pissed.
I don't lie either.
Emily, I didn't say anything about you.
You and I just-- we laughed at BravoCon.
We did.
Shannon and I are in a really good place right now.
We've had issues, but I feel
like we've really worked through them.
I won't say anything about you and John.
And if I have a concern, I will say it directly to you.
I really just care about you.
I appreciate that.
Why would we get to the point where now
she's gonna talk badly about me and then lie about it?
That just doesn't resonate,
and it doesn't make sense to me.
Una mas tequila, señor.
Muy bueno. - Make it a dos.
By the way, I didn't really see Heather at BravoCon.
At this point, I'm starting to think
that one of Heather's goals is to meddle in my relationships.
I'm gonna go see what you got.
They're so mean.
Do you know where the girl went, dark hair?
I don't make up conversations that I had.
Just going to the bathroom.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Are you sure? - No.
You can come stay with us in our room.
Why? Shannon doesn't like me either.
I've said it a thousand times.
I'm tired of people lying about me.
I'm tired of people saying I'm saying things when I'm not.
And I find it very interesting that Emily
has a very crackerjack memory
when it comes to anything that I have said.
- You do. - I even said,
"Well, what did she say?"
And she said, "I can't tell you
because Shannon said that's in the vault."
Just like she can't tell you about all these horrible things
about my relationship.
Do I finally get to hear what the is in the vault?
It's normal relationship stuff.
It is.
I'll be honest with you guys.
The biggest thing for me is that when we first met,
we spent every day together.
But now a lot of times, there's an excuse.
"I got to go." "I can't stay."
So that's what hurts me. - Yeah.
Because that makes you feel abandoned.
- Yeah, and that's just-- - And it's scary.
'Cause I have those issues from my childhood.
- Yeah. - So do I.
- Tough for you. - And that's the worst thing.
It's like, "Oh, you're - ing walking out on me?
Yeah. I don't like that.
We had an argument.
Like, let's talk through it and get through it.
So that's the hardest thing.
These women all think that much greater issues are
going on in my relationship.
I've been thinking about it,
and it's clearly causing me anxiety.
So I'm willing to open up and set the record straight.
If John goes home, that's not fun.
But in the scheme of life, it's not that big of a deal.
John doesn't ever want you
to talk about your relationship.
Yeah, he doesn't.
And I told you women need an outlet.
They need to be able to talk. - Yeah.
He goes, "Well, you know
that we don't talk about relationships."
I go, "That's your rule.
It's not mine."
I said that to him. - Good job.
I mean, I think it's great that Shannon
is finally opening up about her relationship with John.
However, I feel like this is really
just the tip of the iceberg.
There's so much more.
It goes a lot deeper.
But I don't know.
Maybe this is just a good start.
So he's an avoider,
and I'm a communicator.
So sometimes that doesn't mesh.
And that's when I talk to Heather.
They don't like me.
And you know what?
That's okay.
Because there's plenty of people
that actually do like me.
But I'm getting to the point--
I'm just telling you-- that I don't care.
I can tell.
On the way out there, I thought
you handled yourself very well.
I am at a tipping point with everyone.
I just feel like I am taken to task for everything.
I'm held to a different set of standards.
I feel like I can't say anything right.
I can't do anything right.
Can I ask a question?
If we just want to put some sh-- on the table.
Is this about me saying there's juicy stuff
about Jenn? - Yes.
Shannon's been nothing but nice to me.
She really hasn't been nice to you though.
At the pool party, she was saying
we are gonna delve more into your relationship with Ryan.
It is juicy. There is so much more.
Oh, shut the up.
I did say that. I'm sorry if--
that I said that because I couldn't handle
just one of the things that's been talked to about you.
Shannon pretends like she's a good person,
but like here we are,
with Jenn and Tamra finally getting along,
and you want somebody to dig up dirt
about their relationship,
to, what, hurt Jenn?
I just heard that there's a lot more stuff
that hasn't come out.
I don't know what it is. I don't know.
Somebody said Tamra has so much more.
Tamra and I have a mutual acquaintance at the gym.
A few weeks ago, she told me, "Your friend Tamra
reached out for information on my relationship."
This is the girl that Ryan was cheating on Jenn with.
I wasn't digging for any kind of info.
Ryan and the girl got into a fight after Nobu,
and she wanted to retaliate.
So she sent me all the text messages
between her and Ryan
while Ryan was in a relationship with Jenn.
Tamra and I are supposed to be moving forward.
Where are you going with this? What is your plan?
There's a part of me that wants to protect Jenn,
but then I know she knows all this stuff,
and then she plays dumb.
That's what's frustrating to me.
Well, let's go celebrate the sale of your house.
I don't wanna celebrate with them.
Well, let's just go back.
Yeah, that's fine.
I'm gonna give out my gifts now.
And here you go,----er.
Need help bringing over your presents?
Oh, yeah. No, no.
- No? - Oh, no.
I can do it.
Talking to Mrs. Dubrow.
Is she good?
She just feels like she can't do anything right.
I think she was hoping that everybody
would want to celebrate with her
about the sale of her house.
You want me to celebrate your house?
You called me a liar and an asshole, so...
These are octopus tacos, if anyone's interested.
- Oh, wait, do I get one? - Yep.
I'm an asshole though.
But there you go.
It says fiesta and then the siesta.
Essentials. What are the essentials?
There's a little shot of tequila.
Oh, earplugs.
- And it's personalized. - A little fan.
- Of course it is. - Wow.
It's a little hat.
Thank you so much.
This is really cute, Heather. Thank you.
This is really sweet.
This is wonderful.
I don't want the gift.
I want you to just be easier to be friends with.
Like, can you wrap that up?
I can't talk to you with that hat on.
I'm sorry.
A leopard doesn't change their spots.
I am who I am.
And when we go on trips, I like to bring a trip gift.
Do I think they deserve them? No.
But they're already monogrammed!
This is the most uncomfortable gift
I've ever received. - That's okay.
- Thank you. - Let's go to bed.
Oh, wait.
Can I have my skinny margarita to go?
Coming up...
Oh, my--
Whoo!
- Oh! - Are you okay?
- Someone's got to get her. - She can't breathe.
Jenn.
It's time to get up.
- What? - Time to eat.
I didn't sleep very well.
My mind was like...
I think we're gonna have a good day.
Okay, I like your positive affirmation.
- Good morning. - Good morning, babe.
Yeah.
So we're gonna take some ATVs down.
I'm gonna drive an ATV.
And then going to the cenotes.
I sat next to her at dinner last night,
but we haven't, like, connected.
All right.
Tamra asked me about the sale of the house.
And I was so excited to tell them.
So I tell them the story, and they're all sitting
like this.
That's not very kind.
Oh, my God, this is great.
I wish this happened every time I woke up.
Where's Heather? Is she coming?
I don't know. I hope she's coming.
You're right.
So I'm gonna have a great attitude today.
I'm gonna go have fun.
But I will tell you this.
Every time we're all together,
it always comes down to me.
I'm not tolerating it anymore.
And if it happens again, I'm out.
How's Heather? Anybody talk to her?
I did. Well, I texted her.
- How's she doing? - This morning?
I said, "Do you wanna come up and eat?"
And she said, "We have food."
But I just kind of felt bad for her.
I think that I can understand everybody,
including my, frustration with Heather.
I don't know. I don't feel like she means it.
I feel like that's just who she is.
I'm sorry.
There have been multiple things that have happened
between she and I that are not just happenstance.
- Right. - Talking to you,
to Emily, to Gina about my relationship,
that's not just who Heather is
'cause she's above everybody else.
That's her being an asshole.
Ooh!
Don't need a steam shower here. - No.
- Just walk outside. - I know.
I think I'm over here, actually.
I feel better.
You're in between tables.
It's a metaphor for how I feel
about the two of you this morning.
Oh, let's just have fun today.
Yes.
Let me just start
by saying for your party,
that if you felt like I was being a jerk, I apologize.
- I get it. - Sincerely.
Thank you.
An apology is really fantastic,
but there's a pattern here.
I apologize for being aggressive
because I'm really trying to work on that.
I care about you, and I care about our friendship.
- Me too. - Lately, you were just looking
for sh-- to be pissed about with me.
I don't like it.
You have a point,
and I'm sorry about that.
I appreciate that.
I really don't know what I've done to her.
All I can do is say I'm sorry
and that I probably will do it again.
- Let's just take a restart. - Yeah.
But I hope you can see why I was like a spring.
Do you know how I've been dying to tell you guys
the story about the house? - I know.
- Dying. - It was like, "Oh."
I was surprised by that.
You're my friend.
Like, it's insulting to me.
I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you.
I guess I feel, like, constantly put upon
by everyone, and, like--
Right, but then you group me in.
It's making me pull away from you.
I don't treat you that way. - You don't.
Maybe Heather's just not used to people having her back,
because this is what it looks like, girlfriend.
I'm not saying this to be, like, dismissive or unkind,
but I'm done.
So I love you guys.
I really value your friendships.
I think we're good. - Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna go get dressed.
- All right. - Okay.
- We're coming. - All right.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom later.
I brought toilet paper.
Oh, for...
Cenote.
I have a lot of exciting, fun things
planned on this trip.
We're getting on ATVs
and riding through the jungle,
and then we're gonna jump in the water.
Is it cenote or cenotes?
I think it's cenote.
Put "water hole."
The watering hole.
I don't know what's in there,
but, you know, I'll try anything twice.
- Hi. - Hello, ladies.
- Hi. - Hello.
- How are you today? - Good.
Welcome to the Cenote Blanca Flor.
Thank you.
Eddie, my friend, is gonna lead you.
This means stop.
This means slow down. Right, and left.
Any question? - Oh, that's it?
Oh, that was the whole tutorial?
Are you ready?
We go slow, lentamente?
Lentamente, tranquilo.
Can I go in the front? I don't like going slow.
Can I be in the middle though?
Yeah, go in the front.
Okay, I can't be in the back
'cause I'm gonna get scared.
Where do I go? Okay.
Here we go.
Whoo!
Pick up the pace, Dubrow!
I do not like this at all.
I'm gonna check the box, and I'm never doing this again.
When I see Shannon, literally all I can think
is that's Jennifer Coolidge
on a Vespa in "White Lotus."
Come on, grandmas!
I'm trying!
- Don't touch the red button. - I didn't.
Don't touch the red button.
I didn't!
I didn't.
Okay. Gracias.
We've arrived! - Whoo.
Oh, my gosh, my butt is soaked.
So ladies, how was the ride?
- It was amazing! - It was so good!
Oh, my God, we loved it.
Who's gonna be the first one jumping?
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my...
That's a no, dog.
All right, I'll do it.
What's in there, fish?
Cameras, watches, whatever.
- Okay. - Cameras and watches!
You have balls.
Are you gonna dive or cannonball?
- Pencil it. - Erect it.
I say go flaccid.
Do not go flaccid.
Oh, my God.
Whoo!
- Where is she? - Oh!
Are you okay?
Someone's gotta get her, you guys.
Do you need help?
Are you okay?
It knocked the wind out of you.
That was great. Felt very refreshing.
Your nose is bleeding.
- Oh, my God. - I'm okay.
Nope. No, that's a hard no.
- Hard no. - Hard no, hard no.
There is not enough champagne in the world
to make me jump in there.
You are a----ing stud.
And you know what the best part is?
- What is? - Your eyelashes are still on.
Are they? Yes!
I'll do anything once
as long as it doesn't result
in, like, reconstructive plastic surgery.
I mean, because I like elective plastic surgery,
just not, like, reconstructive.
Cue some cheerleaders, please.
Jenn, you are...
- Let go! - One stud.
- Go, Tamra! - Whoo!
Let go!
Ow!
- Oh! - Oh, my God.
That's not funny!
Let's see if I can do it.
Want me to hold your things?
Yeah, sure.
Will you give my artifacts to my children?
Will you give them my denim cut-offs?
I have literally always been scared of the water,
to the point where I wouldn't even take baths for a while.
I'm just afraid of creatures and things.
ing grab me!
Oh! Get up, get up, get up.
- There's a shark. - What?
Oh, my God, it's right there.
I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to be a baby, but I'm really scared.
Okay, Gina, you got this. We're right here.
Conquer that fear.
Oh, you're gonna fall.
Don't do that.
My life is flashing before me, and it's too short.
I need to live longer.
This is so pathetic.
It's just water. - Yeah, just water.
It's just water.
- It's refreshing. - It is.
It feels great.
Yay!
- Yay, you did it! - Good job.
I'm gonna tell everybody I jumped
off the top of a mountain.
Yes, you did.
Coming up...
Coming.
Oh, my God!
I can't do my hair in this humidity.
Hi.
Oh, are you at the mall?
Wow.
My kids had this.
Is it gonna cheapen my look?
As long as it's not like Jenn's purse today...
A fake Chanel.
The Fanel, the Fundi, and the Fucci she wears.
Jenn was this, you know, yoga mom,
and now, all of a sudden, she's dripped
in fake designer clothes.
You want people to think that you have this kind of money,
and I don't buy into that.
Mugler.
This is real, okay?
This is real.
- Come in! - I'll get it.
Coming.
Did you put alcohol in this?
Just kidding.
Oh, my God!
I don't want you to be in Mexico without me!
Oh, my goodness!
I thought, oh, my God!
So I invited Vicki to Mexico,
but she wasn't sure if she was gonna make it.
Who's Linda?
Oh, your office manager?
To have the tres amigas back together again is everything.
I'm about to pee-pee.
- She peed. - Oh, my God.
I am so excited you're here.
I want to start to cry.
By far the best memories I have
are with Vicki and Tamra.
I mean, some of them may be blurry.
I love that, Tamra. I love that.
But that's what girlfriends are for.
I think we had one too many drinks.
Whoo!
You can't drive up there.
Well, why not?
Whoo-hoo!
I got to find something pink.
Okay, let's go.
Oh, my God. Did you see any of the girls?
Did they see you? - No.
- I am. - You look real pretty.
Thank you.
You do too.
Are you kidding me?
Whoo! I did bring pink.
I never bring pink.
Put it on. Go.
Jenn, we got to go.
Okay.
- Now. - Okay.
I have shots, girls.
Come on. We got to go.
Let's do our dance first.
Okay.
Here we go, guys.
One, two, three.
Take a shot.
That'll put hair on your balls.
Whoo!
You've got to stay on the balls of your feet.
- We'll be there in an hour. - Yeah.
Oh, hold on.
You're gonna mess up your heel.
Okay, I got it.
I feel like we made it to the finish line.
- Okay. - Please follow me.
Okay, thank you.
There's a lot of extra chairs, is there not?
There's one extra chair. That's what's freaking me out.
- It's just a big table. - Is there a surprise guest?
I don't think we have to worry about that.
Oh, what do you got?
Thank you.
- Thank you. - Cheers.
Cheers.
Look who we found!
I knew it.
- Hi, Vicki. - Hi, honey.
- Oh, hi. - Hi.
Good to see you, sweetheart.
Anyway, I hope I'm not imposing.
But I knew you guys were all here,
and I didn't want to be left out.
Vicki makes it very clear how she feels about Emily and I,
and it is not great.
I honestly never had an issue with Vicki to begin with,
and I don't read most
of the nasty things that she says.
So I just don't need to bring it up.
It's not worth it to me.
Let's just whoop it up, Vicki.
Let's whoop it up.
Tres abuelas.
For someone who thinks
that, like, we have no relevance,
she sure likes to talk about us a lot.
I mean, clearly she's a fan.
I'd say she's like a super fan at this point.
Who else you gonna whoop around here with?
Boring!
Boring on that side of the table.
- Whoop it up. - Whoop it up.
I just have to show them all
how to whoop it up when you're in Mexico.
I mean, it looks like it's a flat crowd.
Everybody needs to, like, liven it up.
What did you guys do today?
We went on an ATV ride to the cenotes.
And then-- - Did you drive it yourself?
Yes.
What did you guys do at the spa?
We walked on rocks and sat in chairs.
It's probably really good for you.
It does something to, like, your whole body.
Ow!
Heather, what'd you do?
We went to the water park.
It was scary.
Hold on tight.
There's so much water that shot up my asshole,
I'm afraid to walk.
Heather, your dress is really pretty.
I have a black dress exactly like that.
I need more time to try to repair this.
It's not your best look, but it's not your worst either.
I Googled it.
I'm like, this has nothing to do--
Isn't he, like, this guy?
It's fine.
- What? - Nothing.
I--ha!
It's just-- we're just having fun tonight.
That's what we're doing, having fun.
This is my point with Heather.
She thinks that I am mean
and that I say mean things to her,
but she says things that could also be construed as mean,
like saying I look like a Snuffleupagus.
It is a big, huge, furry Muppet.
Are you guys excited about Cirque du Soleil?
- I am. - Hello, ladies.
- Hi. - How was dinner?
So great.
We have a private showing
of Cirque du Soleil Joyà for you all.
So if y'all are done, we'll head to the show.
- Wow. - Wow.
Oh, my gosh, this is incredible.
Whoo!
Wow.
Un-----ing-believable.
There she goes.
Oh!
- Oh. - Sh--.
How in the hell is that possible?
Who doesn't like to see a guy in a unitard?
It's a sausage show.
We get to see, like, outlines of penises.
Muy bueno.
Thank you. Thank you.
Amazing!
That was incredible.
Do you guys wanna put your pajamas on and come back?
- Yeah, let's do that. - All right.
Oh, another crabby.
Can you eat the crab? - I bet it's white chocolate.
- Just try it. - Oh.
You're violating the crab.
I can't believe Vicki's here.
Whoo!
We're back, bitches!
Whoo! - Oh, god, that's gross.
- Hello. - Hola.
- Whoo-hoo! - Come on in.
- Hello. - Hola.
Yeah, whoo!
Ah!
- Oh, my Lord. - That's mine.
Take yours.
Oh, they look sad.
She's ripped.
Look at Vicki's.
- You have yours. - I have one.
I have one.
We're gonna do water aerobics in them.
No, no.
Let's play truth or dare.
- Taylor. - Yes, ma'am.
- Truth or dare? - I'll do a dare.
You know me.
I need tonight for you to lick
both of Emily's nipples.
Man!
Whoo!
- Okay. - Emily!
- There you go. - Oh!
My God.
Here, I'll put this on, and then you can.
There we go. Okay.
Oh, my God.
The tongue is a lot.
I don't understand why Taylor's always on my boob.
I mean, I know that she likes women.
Taylor just likes to lick the nipples.
I'm not a whore. I'm just bisexual.
I mean, I'm hot. So it's what it is.
Okay, Vicki, truth or dare?
I pick truth.
Okay, well, then let somebody else
that knows you better because I don't--
I wish I had more history.
I think you and I had a situation
where we love a man that may not
be the right person for us.
And you know it in your gut,
but you don't want to make a change.
And I had the same thing.
And I wish I knew then what I know now.
And I--
That's my truth.
I think you and I had a situation
where we love a man that may not be
the right person for us.
You're saying that to Jenn?
- She looks baffled. - I'm like...
- With Ryan? - Ryan who?
She goes, "Ryan who?"
Oh, that's the man you're talking about.
I had very high hopes for Victoria,
but apparently she travels with her spoon,
because she is stirring that sh-- up.
The truth always comes up.
You can see it now.
You can see it a year from now.
You can see it three years from now.
You may never see it.
I think she's issuing a warning.
Yeah, you're saying, like, trust your gut.
I didn't trust my gut.
But I feel like your gut is strong
for your relationship with Ryan.
I hear you guys on the phone constantly.
And I don't know when he would have
the time to cheat, frankly.
I have heard everything everybody else has heard.
I mean, there's nothing new to me
unless somebody's sitting on something
that they're not telling me.
This is not a new conversation.
Vicki doesn't know me, and Vicki does not know Ryan.
Vicki knows Tamra.
And clearly, obviously,
Vicki is hearing things from Tamra.
Who do you think I heard it from?
Tamra.
Telephone teller Tamra.
By the way, Vicki, so excited that you're here.
Aww, thanks for welcoming me.
Thank you.
I'll see you guys tomorrow.
And she had no reaction, no response.
- She never does. - She never does.
- She's like this. - But that is weird.
I just wish she'd shut it down.
I feel like she's taken... - Yes!
So much sh-- from everyone.
Well, I would have been across the table in her face.
That's what I'm saying.
I think Jenn needs to stand up for herself.
Nobody checked in with Jenn.
And I'm gonna check in with her.
Jenn should be concerned about it or be angry about it.
Vicki didn't even know Ryan's name.
Then why was she talking about their relationship?
You'd have to ask Vicki that.
I don't know.
Well, shouldn't Jenn ask Vicki that?
You guys, let's go night-night.
Okay, Tam-Tam.
Tamra!
Hold on. I got it.
Okay.
Everybody go to bed except for me.
I'm the only----ing responsible person
around here, and I've had a few shots.
So everybody--
I thought it was my hair or whoever's hair
is attached to my head.
What's going on with your hair?
Who----ing knows?
You look like Medusa.
Why is it so bright in here?
I think it's like 10:00. We're supposed
to be doing water aerobics.
I need coffee.
I need coffee too.
It's like the--
Oh, that was my boob!
Can we do it at, like, 2:00 in the afternoon?
Mm-hmm.
This is the most hideous thing
I've ever seen on my body.
- You're really glitchy. - I am?
Can you hear me, baby?
Hi, Mom. Hi, Mom.
Oh, my God, look at you driving to school.
And so, Ace, you're gonna stay after school
and wait for Kat? - No.
All right, I gotta go, you guys.
I love you so much.
Love you, Mama. Bye.
Mom?
Hi, can you hear me?
No.
Evie?
Oh, look at Emily two chains.
It's so cute.
Oh, look at this one.
- Hi. - Buenos días, ladies.
How are y'all doing? - Good morning.
Welcome to the Vidanta Riviera Maya Beach Club.
- It's beautiful. - Thank you.
It's gorgeous.
Y'all are gonna love it in your private cabana.
Shall we go?
Yay!
- Beautiful. - Hi.
Good morning. - Good morning.
Can we have some champagne, please?
I called Tamra, and she said that they're gonna be
on their way down. - Is Shannon even coming?
Did she go to their room?
Shannon had a hard night last night.
So what happened last night?
So she just started to get really teary
because she was starting to feel like,
"How am I gonna be included
if I'm not willing to be in a swimsuit?"
So you're not happy with your body?
No, I'm not happy about it.
- Shannon, you look amazing. - No, I don't.
I don't want to be in a bathing suit, okay?
I made it very, very clear.
You don't have to do any of them if you don't want to.
Now she just feels like because everyone knows her
as being thin in the past,
that she's gonna be more objectified
because she's put on weight.
And it's making me cry.
I wish I could help her get to the point
where she just embraces who she is
and she doesn't care.
I do think it has to do with John.
I think John is critical of her,
and I think he's made her feel badly about herself
by commenting on her looks or her weight.
And that, I think, is terrible.
- Hello. - Whoo!
Okay, yes!
I love it! Hairy ladies.
Coming up...
You ruined your whole family to--
I didn't ruin my family.
How----ing dare you?
You left for a player.
You're not the only person he----ed at my gym.
- Hello. - Whoo!
Okay, yes!
I love it. Hairy ladies.
I'm so happy.
You have the same one as Gina.
Representing dad bods everywhere.
- That's right. - I need to see the hairy butt.
Yes! - It's great.
Do you have-- let me see your hairy butt.
Oh, look how cute your butt is.
When I was walking around in a bathing suit
with this group, I was 20 pounds lighter.
Let's just be candid about it.
My weight has yo-yoed back and forth.
And when I am not
in the happiest place in my life,
it can be read on my body.
Okay, wow. So just arms down.
Oh, my God.
Oh, wait, is this our instructor?
all: Hi!
Like, I want to wear that.
You did, yesterday.
He looks like a whale trainer.
- Yes. - We're like twins!
Oh! - We're like twins.
Gemelas.
Are you ready for water aerobics?
- Yes. - Be careful.
Oh, God, that feels good.
Let me put my drink down.
First, deep breathing.
This is the only jumping jack I can do
that I don't feel like I got to pee.
Gosh, I can feel my dad bod just evaporating.
Where's the barn? Right there.
Hats off. - That way.
- We're going-- - That way.
That way.
Now to the front. Back.
I've never sweated in a pool before.
If Miguel's class is gonna last this long,
I need a drink and a croissant.
My shoulders are en fuego.
I need some huevos rancheros.
- Jumping. - Hey, hey, hey.
- Jumping. - ...
Okay, now we pull together and jumping.
Miguel, we love you, but it's time for you to go.
Apparently, Miguel thought we were training
for the----ing Olympics.
Okay, ladies, thank you so much for coming.
Thank you, Miguel.
- Thank you. - Gracias.
- I want some water. - Now what?
- Do we eat? - I need water.
Mrs. Doubtfire.
She was called Mrs. Doubtfire
and a Snuffleupagus this weekend.
I was called that.
It was something about the man bod.
What?
He's not an elephant.
He's a made-up character.
He's my favorite character. - He's an elephant.
The size and shape of an elephant.
I mean, it is very on brand for Heather
to have an imaginary friend that cannot talk back.
I don't know what a Snuffleupagus is,
but I'm assuming it's like a-- what do you call that?
You know the big, hairy guy that runs the jungle?
"Sas-squash."
"Sas-quash."
Bigfoot.
Super hairy and big.
But a whale trainer, you could be super pretty.
He's like "sas-squash" and an elephant mixed in one.
Like, they're running through the jungle, and it slid in.
And then next thing you know, Snuffleupagus was born.
It's like how dolphin trainer's cute.
I did think he was cute at first.
Okay, make a point.
If I wanted to interpret it differently...
It could be negative.
- I could interpret it... - Yes.
Negatively, that you were calling me
a Snuffleupagus because he's big, and he's huge,
and he's an elephant.
Well, that's not how I thought of it.
But I thought you that you were just being funny.
- I was. - My point is--
So are you.
- I am too. - Understood.
And I love it.
And I still love Snuffleupagus. - I would say
no one likes to be compared
to a very large, hairy animal.
But...
Heather doesn't want to have a conversation
and really understand where I'm coming from.
All right, I'm gonna sit.
It's always a double standard.
She does no wrong.
She says things appropriately.
She's just being Heather.
But I'm an asshole, and I'm a jerk.
Isn't it interesting how she just wants
to put her hooks into something
and grab on, and go with it?
All right, you're offended?
I'm so sorry.
Finally, you're serving me.
Cheers.
They're nachos.
Thank you.
Here's your bowl of weenies.
I do not want a basket of weenies.
I can't even look at it.
Oh, Vicki, it's a wee-wee.
- It's a wee-wee. - It's a tiny little wee-wee.
A wee-wee like Steve.
- Oh. - She said it, not me.
I'm just repeating her.
He didn't like to have his wee-wee touched.
Because somebody else was touching it.
I didn't know that. - Oh.
Remember that, Tamra, when we were on our trip together
and Vicki said Steve didn't like
to have his wee-wee touched?
We haven't had sex in 13 months.
Every time I touch his wee-wee, he's like,
I'm not there right now.
I don't like the fact that he has a "wee-wee."
I would like it--
Wait, can I take a picture of that?
- Yeah, please. - That's a dick pic.
Yeah.
I don't understand it.
Where is it coming from? That's what I wanna know:
where it's----ing coming from. - Oh, I heard an F-bomb.
What happened?
I asked her if last night,
with the comment that you made--
Oh, you brought it up again.
This is why I didn't say anything last night.
I'm, as you know, brand new to these girls.
And you have not been here with us the whole time.
I know. I got fired.
Vicki, I have-- no, no, Vicki.
- I know. - That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying I thought initially,
when I was sitting there, that you were talking
about your past relationships.
Well, she was a little. She was comparing.
And then you said we operate in the same friend group.
And I was like, "I"-- - But I was gonna ask you.
Vicki and I had never met
until you came to my house.
But isn't your first reaction to be like,
"Who are our mutual friends?"
Well, I think you know who the mutual friend is.
- Who? - Who?
Me.
Ahh!
Why do you do that?
Well, because Vicki and I are very close.
We talk all the time.
So she asked me what's been going on.
I don't get you.
Why?
You're always calling me out.
You're malicious about it, and you're mean about it.
I'm not malicious about it. I'm not mean about it.
You want to----ing put it all out?
I was at dinner with a friend the other night,
and she mentioned the girl's name
who Ryan slept with. - Alex.
There was a spot that we had kind of said--
he had kind of said, you need to take some time.
So it's like Ross and Rachel? Like, you were on a break?
Yeah, on a break.
So while you're on the break,
he may have had a little dalliance somewhere.
Yes, with someone I know.
Back it up.
So your boyfriend slept with a girl,
and you work out with her?
- But they were on a break. - I don't know her.
I don't know her. I don't know her.
But you know of her because she works out with you?
I didn't know her at all.
Ryan--this is a girl Ryan dated.
You never talked to her?
So that's a----ing baited question, and you know it.
That's why I don't know why you don't just say
what you want to----ing say.
I asked you a question.
Yeah, I----ing have talked to her.
Yeah.
She said you reached out and said, "Send me everything."
No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
So if you need my sh-- to air
to make you more----ing relevant,
good for----ing you.
She said you reached out and said, "Send me everything."
No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
So if you need my sh-- to air
to make you more----ing relevant,
good for----ing you.
No, actually, you're more relevant
because you don't----ing talk, so...
- She is now, though. - She is now.
- Yeah.
They----ing----ed each other.
You know what that's like?
It's like a----ing knife in my heart.
- For a year. - For a year?
Before you were together.
No, during.
One time.
And I was not with him.
What do you know, Tamra?
That he was sleeping with her
while you guys were dating.
He sent her a text message while you guys were
at a concert in San Diego, saying...
- But I know about that. - "Get naked in my bed."
"In my bed." I've seen it.
- Yes. - There's not--
But why are you with this person?
Why do you protect him?
I did know all about this.
I forgave Ryan because I love Ryan.
I'm not sitting here trying to protect Ryan.
But why do I have to keep talking about it?
I know we were on a break.
But it hurts.
It's painful. It sucked.
And it's Ryan's job to own up to what he did.
I didn't do this.
What do you----ing want from me?
I don't want you to get hurt.
So it's your job to busy yourself in my----ing pain?
- I apologize. - You don't.
You don't show any emotion ever!
You sit there like this, like you've had a----ing lobotomy.
Because It's easier.
Okay.
Because it's----ing easier.
What I tend to do is, I kind of bring everything in.
And I can get quiet.
And I process, and I think.
And then the problem is, once I hit a breaking point,
I can't even control it anymore.
And then the top blows.
You've ruined your whole family to go--
I didn't ruin my family.
How----ing dare you?
You left for a player.
You're not the only person he----ed at my gym.
Say, then----ing state your facts.
What do you know?
No, I'm not gonna say anything.
- Oh, you're not gonna say-- - 'Cause I'm a liar.
That's so----ing typical of you.
Everybody knows that he is a player.
Your freaking mother-in-law knows he's a player.
- She did say that. - Yeah.
How does your mother-in-law know he's a player?
Because she works out at the same gym.
And she's 78, and she's heard that he's a player.
But I think the bottom line is,
I think Jenn knows he's a player,
and she chooses to still be with him.
She doesn't wanna sit here and break down
her relationship for the 14th time.
I know. And my con--
She's upset about what's going
on between the two of you, not about her relationship.
I feel bad for Jenn.
It's like, leave the poor girl alone.
We get it. He's a slut.
He's a ho. He's a gigolo.
I don't understand what the end game is here,
but it doesn't feel like friendship to me.
I do not want to hurt your feelings.
I thought we were over this and we had moved on.
We're not over it because I can't get over it
because every time, it just keeps coming up.
And I don't know what you want.
There's nothing that I don't know.
There's nothing--
I don't like you with him. I'm sorry.
And it's hard for me to hold back.
I did the same thing with Vicki.
I don't think that he's good for you.
How do you know what's good for me?
That's my opinion!
I should have learned my lesson, but I didn't.
At the end of the day, I was----ing right.
- Yeah. - I was right.
We got to find out ourselves. That's the issue.
But don't lie to our faces
like your----ing Vucci
and your fake Fendi.
You have to be honest.
And I do want you happy.
I really do.
You don't get to sit there and be my friend
and tell me I ruined my family.
I can hear and take a hard conversation,
but not the way you've done it.
That is not the way a friend talks or acts.
Jenn, do you want to take a walk?
- Yeah, I would, actually. - Yeah, let's go.
I'm gonna stay.
I'll take another glass of champagne.
- Thank you. - I'm honest.
You guys, she's just hurting.
Be----ing smart.
Next time
on "The Real Housewives of Orange County"...
Aww, they're holding hands.
Losing circulation!
I wanna go home!
I want clarity.
I want authentic relationships.
You've got five kids.
You should have made that marriage work.
- Oh, don't say that. - You can't say that.
We had the best day.
The way it ended is just literally shocking.
You said it to me!
I'm sorry. I'm done.
That's a bunch of bullsh--.
You don't like me.
I would never put up with it.
No, I'm done with the show.
I'm out.