[rhythmic music]
- Ow! - You scared me.
- Ow. - Ooh, look at all that hair
on there. - Can you put some of that
up here for me? [both chuckle]
- You didn't even jump.
- Yeah, I know how the men are.
They get-- - They're big babies, right?
- Yeah, they are. Exactly.
So what do you think? You wanna try your nose?
- Yes on that. - Does the nose hurt, though?
That's... - No.
- Cause that's-- - It feels like getting
punched in the face.
- [grimaces]
I don't know about this. - [chuckles]
- But it's quick. It's a quick punch.
I promise it's not gonna hurt. - You're a liar.
- [giggles]
Shane is pretty much up for anything.
Like, he will go along with a lot of my crazy ideas.
- Ow! What the freak? Ow.
- I have said to him a million times,
why don't you just get that sh-- waxed.
But instead he sits on the couch with tweezers,
and he plucks the ear hair and his nose hair.
- Oh. - That was a good one.
- Right? - Ooh.
- Oh, he's very clear in there.
I have a feeling I'm gonna have to pay for this later,
if you know what I mean. [chuckles]
- Let's wax the nose. - You ready?
Let's wax the nose. - Okay.
- Just breathe normal.
- I don't know how I feel about this.
- Just let this sit right there.
- So I texted your mom,
and I asked if I could use her backyard
to have, like a fun, girls... - Uh-huh?
- Party--outdoor, at the pool, cocktails.
And of course she said, "Of course!"
It's just for girls so you're not invited.
- Okay. - Oh!
- That was a good one. - Yeah.
- Listen to what I bought?
I bought--ow! I didn't know we were going in again.
- That was a tiny one. Had to get it out.
- I bought, like, an adult-size
Slip 'N Slide.
There was a lot of drama at Nobu,
and it was very heavy.
- You wanna ----ing tell me to watch it?
- But I am hoping
that we could just have a great time and relax
at the pool party.
- And how can you fight
when there's an adult Slip 'N Slide?
- It looks good. - I will definitely hide
all the napkins, though.
- Is there anything else you think you might wanna do?
- Yes, your butt.
- Oh, he likes-- he's very into butts, so...
- Okay. - No, I'm not very into butts.
- You are into butts. - I'm just not
into hairy butts. - Oh.
He's not-- - There's a difference.
- He's not into hairy butts, so...
- Okay, well, let's do it then.
- Shane is a butt man, yes.
I'm gonna put out when we get home.
- Okay. I'll let you do that.
Well, I mean, he likes everything.
- Aah! Ow!
But he likes to zero in on the butt.
Ow! My vagina.
He smacks it, he grabs it.
He takes photos of it.
There's a lot of action down there.
It's actually good timing,
'cause I'm gonna have a pool party, so...
- There you go. - Now I'll be all clean.
- You'll be the fastest on the Slip 'N Slide.
- [laughs] - There will be no friction.
[upbeat music]
* *
- Well, this is gonna be fun.
You know, you've done this, actually.
- I've done this? - I feel like--
do you not remember it? - No.
How old was I? - You were little.
When was the last time
you think we were here, Kennedy?
- Like, five years ago?
- Hi, girlie. - Hi. How are you?
- Hi.
- This is how you go on a ferry?
Hi. - This is it.
This is how I do it. - This is Greyson.
Greyson, this is Taylor. - Hi, Greyson. Taylor.
Nice to meet you, sweetheart.
- This is Alexis. - Hi.
- Hi, Alexis. - And my daughter, Kennedy.
- Kennedy, good to see you again.
- This is Jenn. - I met you once at home.
- Yes. - And Greyson.
- You met Kennedy before.
- Taylor feels like we are long-lost sisters
from Oklahoma. I grew up in Sand Springs.
- I know Sand Springs. - We totally are related.
- We--I know.
- I do feel a bond with her
because we were in close quarters in Montana.
And now she calls me "Big Daddy."
I don't know why Taylor calls me Big Daddy,
but that's my name.
'Kay, so what's the plan?
- I feel like I wanna eat some corndog or something.
- Yeah, corndogs. - Something bad.
- I wanna eat, like, sugar and corn
and then go get on the-- - Gyroscope.
- And then let's all just... - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Course. - Turn it up.
- [chuckles] - There's your corndogs.
- Okay. Give me some mustard. - You like it on your...
- Don't ask me if I want it on my wiener.
- [chuckles] - Oh, let's go sit.
- Oh, yeah. - Okay. Yeah, that's perfect.
- Where should I sit? - Here, Grey-best.
How 'bout right here? - Okay, so, girls,
you're sophomore? both: Junior.
- Junior. - Yeah.
- And you're a... - Wait--I'm, uh, eighth grade.
- Oh, eighth grade. Wow, you're really tall.
- Where is Shannon? I thought you said
Shannon was coming. - She's always late.
- Shannon runs on Shannon time?
- I definitely run on Shannon time.
Lunch detention, they, like, know me there.
[both laugh]
- Kennedy is 16, which I cannot believe.
Look at all of this for you.
Can you believe it?
- I wanna go upstairs. - You do? Okay.
She's a regular teenager.
I mean, good days, bad days,
mad at me, happy with me.
I never know what I'm gonna get when I wake up with Kennedy.
And she probably doesn't know with me either.
- Hey.
- Hello. - How are you?
- Well, hi, Shannon. - Hi.
- Shannon, this is Greyson... - Hi.
- My 13-year-old. - Hi, how are you?
Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you as well.
- Hi, sweetie. This is my daughter Kennedy.
- Oh, my gosh, I totally see...
- Uh-huh. - [laughs]
- Really? You're having corn dogs and soft pretzels.
- You wanna go grab ice cream? I gave you a card, and then...
- Yeah. - Yeah, sure.
- Oh, you didn't have the corndog.
- Yeah, she picked out... - I did.
- A corndog. - Well, I decided
after the cotton candy thing,
well, me sticking a big corn dog in my mouth
might not be the best approach. - Oh.
- * Just put it in your mouth *
* Never take it out *
* Gon' make zaddy proud *
* Get loud *
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah *
* Ay *
- [chuckles] - Just somethin' silly.
- How've you been? - How have you been?
- Good. - How are you guys from Friday?
I swear to God, it was like a...
- Oh, God. - Flippin' blur.
- It was a lot. - How did you feel?
- I'm just-- honestly, I don't know--
I truly--I--I don't know what to feel.
I keep going back and replaying, like,
why did it go so south with Tamra and I?
* *
- Heather Dubrow. - Oh, hey.
- Hey. - How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
- Hi. You look cute. - What have you got there?
- Looking for a hostess gift.
Look at this for Emily.
Pencils that say, "----ing brilliant."
She'd like that. - That's cute. What's that?
- This is a champagne stopper. [chuckles]
- Oh, that's for you. - That one's for me.
[chuckles] - That's--yeah.
- Oh, here. This is perfect for you.
I'm gonna get you these matches.
"Hot..."
both: "Mess." - Yeah.
- Speaking of the other night,
Oh, my gosh, I was, like, on an apology tour.
Well, I'm sorry that...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry about...
Sorry I haven't... I'm sorry.
- Yes, I do! - I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, sorry.
Anyway, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I've said I'm sorry.
- [chuckles] Better you than me.
- I'm just apologizing to everyone.
- Yeah.
- I'm just gonna blanket apology
the world at this point.
I'm just going to be sorry until I'm not.
- Some of the night is pretty fuzzy to me.
- What's fuzzy? - The Jenn thing.
- Okay, what is going on with you and Jenn?
What is that? - Okay, listen.
This is the thing. You know me,
there's one thing I can't deal with...
- Yeah. - And that's a goddamn liar.
- I think that you were insinuating
that she was overly flirting with Ryan.
'Cause I mean, I-- - Oh, gosh.
I would have been upset about that.
I would have. - I was never insinuating that.
What I was saying to her was, "Don't be sh---y."
When you and I and Heather
were very fu-- like, it was very comical
about "hot Ryan" at the gym.
- So the stories that Tamra knows about him
all came from Heather. - I would assume.
I met Heather Amin through Tamra,
but she used to be close with Ryan.
- Heather Amin said that he sent her a dick pic.
- It was in his contacts and he hit "Heather."
- So he meant to send that dick pic to you.
- Yeah.
- When Ryan first came to CUT Fitness,
Tamra and I would give Heather so much sh--.
Like, right, that's "your brother"
who you spend all your time with.
You two are totally getting it on.
And they both claimed, like, absolutely not.
- I actually believe them now.
I--I did not believe them in the beginning.
- Why would she drip some piece of information out
that could make your head spin?
- Maybe she thought she would end up with Ryan.
I think Heather was in love with Ryan.
There's no other reason a woman would be that concerned
with another relationship.
So after Nobu, I sent her a long text.
- That's a threat. - Yep.
Heather's over it. I'm over it.
So I said, "Well, why don't you just go
to the pool party with me and you can talk to her there."
Heather doesn't want to attack Jenn
or anything like that.
They were good friends for a really long time.
And then they had a falling out.
And Heather wants to fix that.
So maybe we can all three be friends again.
I have too much goin' on in my head right now
between CUT, the dog...
And I feel bad for throwing the napkin at her.
- [clears throat] - But you cannot mess
with my ----ing marriage.
- If you try to... - Well, you're preachin'
to the choir there. - I will not give in
the towel. - Yeah.
- Or the napkin.
- I've spent so much ----ing time
with Eddie and Tamra. It just--
I don't ----ing understand. I go ----ing home at night,
and I can't even get my thoughts together.
And I have five ----ing kids who are waiting on me
to cook, to take them to soccer and baseball.
I have a family who's trying to get to know Ryan
that--it's like, a dick pic? God!
Grow the (BLEEP) up!
- But see? Talk like this.
Instead of saying, "Yeah, we laughed about it."
- But when she's hammered and can't even sit
in her ----ing chair, it's not the time, Shannon.
I'm trying really hard not to let all of this talk
trickle down into my life.
I am not doing very good.
I am consumed by it.
- How is Ryan okay
that all of this is being discussed about him?
Because, like-- - He hates it!
It's having effects in my home,
and that's where I draw the line.
- Is it causing problems in your relationship?
- Yes. This morning.
- It's unfair, A, for you... - It is.
- 'Cause you have to sit and listen to this bullsh--.
But it's not cool on my end.
It's not truthful.
- I would be devastated
by every single piece of information
that has been discussed.
It's your private information.
And now everyone's sitting around...
- Mm-hmm. - Talking like they're...
- Yeah, it's horrible. - Experts on your life.
I do understand how hard it is
when people are talking about your relationship.
Talking about John Janssen and alcohol
when he has a company? This is not good.
And it is not fair.
Bottom line is, if Jenn is happy with Ryan,
then I wish them well.
- What's it gonna be like when you see Tamra
at the pool party?
- I think you should say, "Can I have
a conversation with you?"
- I don't know what to do.
I--I--I am at a point where I do not get it.
And if we can't move past that,
I have kids, I have a business,
I have friends, I have partners,
I have family, I'm good.
[upbeat music]
* *
- Go ahead. Go hug Dad and Birdie Britt.
- Whoa. [chuckles]
- Hello.
Daddy! both: Hi.
- You look cute. - You look cute too.
- Thank you. - Hey, what's up, man?
- What's up, buddy? - Good to see you.
- Hi. - Hello.
- I brought too many socks.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Electric shock therapy.
Clear! [vocalizes] - [giggles]
- Are you gonna go to this whole game tonight?
We're gonna take 'em to the pizza at around 6:00.
- Good. 'Cause I don't feel like doin' that.
- [chuckles]
- That's what you're here for, Trav.
- Look how cute they are.
- I'm legitimately so thankful
that we're, like, all on the same page...
- Yeah. - Because it's, like,
so good for the kids to have the same structure...
- Right. - And discipline in both...
- Yep. - Houses.
- And when things come up,
we can call each other.
- Aw. Right through your hands.
- I love having a big blended family.
My relationship with Matt
is best it's ever been.
It's kind of, like, to me, all this sh--
seems way more normal if you make it normal.
It's going so well that Britt and I,
are literally doing TikToks together.
- * Who you callin' pussy cat? *
* Pussy cat, pussy cat *
She is a very important part of my children's life.
No one better (BLEEP) with Britt.
That's how I feel.
How is work going? - It's good.
- It's good? Are you gonna go back
and try to get any of your certifications?
- Yeah. - That's a long battle
to get those tests back.
- Matt accrued a lot of financial certifications
along his career.
And, unfortunately, because of his charges,
he lost them.
I don't know if he ever will be able to get
back on track.
Well, one thing at a time. - We'll see.
- At least you're up and runnin' now, though.
That's good. I helped Matt
to get his felonies lower
because that was what was best for my family.
At this point, it just became a punishment to the kids.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that was the whole point.
It's gonna be a lot of college.
[chuckles] - Army, here we come.
- No. No way.
I am not sending them to the Army.
When I got back from Montana,
I did reach out to my therapist.
Everything that happened,
I realized the infidelity sticks with me longer
than the isolated domestic violence incident.
I have to acknowledge the fact
that I'm ----ing still struggling with this.
I like to pretend like I did,
'cause that feels, you know-- - Safe.
- Yeah.
I don't know if I ever will be fully healed,
but it's not about trying to make it go away.
It's about learning how to live with it.
- What is our dinner plans? I'm starving.
- Are you getting hangry? - Well...
I realized, like, I can cook,
I just--I don't like it.
- You did make a really good meal
for Sienna's birthday, like, two years ago.
- Did I?
- That was the last time she cooked.
- That's probably the last time I have.
- No, it was. - No, it probably really was.
- Listen, it was, like, real Italian pasta.
- "Real" Italian's a--a relative word.
I think real Italians would be offended
calling that a "real" Italian food.
- I am the real Italian. - I feel like I just put
my foot in my mouth. - I'm not a fake Italian.
- No, I didn't say you're fake. - Are you a fake Irish man?
- I didn't say you're fake. I'm just saying the meal.
Real Italian's, like, when they--
- Okay, you keep saying it.
- They'll, like, make the pasta from scratch.
- I'm gonna walk away from that.
I think homemade sauce is out of a jar, so there.
- [laughs] - Don't you?
[rock music]
* *
[indistinct chatter]
- Is this where the party is?
- Oh, my gosh, I love your denim.
- You do? - You dressed the part.
- [chuckles] - Wait, look at my belt.
- Oh, I love it.
- I was gonna wear it in Montana,
but, you know. - Well, I--I mean, I figured...
- You know. - This could be
our Montana scene right now. - I wasn't there, so...
Let's go to the bar. We'll go together.
- You leaving your purse?
- It looks safe.
- Looks safe. - Yeah. [chuckles]
- Hello? - Yeah.
Give her some champagne. - I heard champagne.
- 'Cause we're classy broads.
- Got a [indistinct] too. - Put it on my tab.
- [chuckles] - Well, cheers.
- Better together.
I'm glad we're friends.
- I'm glad we are too. - I really--
You know, at first, I was a little bit confused.
I'm like, "Okay, is this for real?
Are we good?" - Yeah.
- I really want us to be good.
Emily's super easy to talk to.
Like, there's no walls up. She's very honest.
And I feel like we do have a lot in common.
She's a nice person.
Yeah. - Can I ask you a question?
- Sure. - Do you regret things
that you said? - Oh, all the time. Yeah.
- I mean, even specifically about me.
Like, do you regret some-- - Like what?
- Like some of the judgments I think maybe you made
- Tamra called you Shrek in front of Gina.
What was your reaction to that?
- It was disappointing for me.
- For sure. You know, it was in a fairly bad time
in my life. And also, in the past year,
I don't know if you listen to my podcast,
but I said, like, "She's a superstar."
- And I--I appreciate you saying that.
And I think there was just a lack of respect, maybe.
- For sure. - And even when people ask me
now, like, I always say, like,
I just--I didn't know you well enough
to respect you. - Right.
- But now I do.
And even when you're an asshole,
I get it, 'cause I can be too. - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You called me Lucifer.
- Apparently Tamra had a day off
from her master, Lucifer,
and she has come to Earth
to let Gina know what is going on.
- Well, you can be. - Cheers.
- Cheers to that, you devil bitch.
[both chuckle]
- So how are you
with your relationship with Shannon?
Is it the same as it was?
Or do you feel like it's, like...
- I think it's getting there. - Yeah.
- I think it's something that takes
a little bit of time. - Mm-hmm.
- We went to dinner with her and John
the other night... - Yeah?
- And, you know, Eddie hadn't been
around Shannon in a long time,
so he put them on the hot seat.
- How long you guys been together?
- Three years. - Are you guys
not livin' together yet? - No.
- He lives on the water, now. It's very small.
- So you couldn't support
Shannon and 100 kids?
- What do you mean? Like, they--
- No, like, they can't move in. - They can't fit.
They can't fit there. - Yeah.
- It was a lot of...
- Yeah. Heather shared some things with me
about their relationship, and it's concerning.
- Heather kind of told me that too.
- Yes. And I think she told Gina too.
- Heather has told me multiple things
that Shannon has said about John that aren't great.
However, it's like "Fight Club."
The first rule of Shannon's relationship
is you don't talk about Shannon's relationship.
- If she's telling people--
like, obviously, Shannon had to have told Heather
for Heather to be repeating it, right?
- But then that puts us in an awkward position.
- Right. - Because I'm friends
with Heather. And I want Heather to know
that she can tell me things.
But then she tells me things
that I'm like,
"Well, maybe you should say something."
- I don't know that Heather
was coming from a place of concern.
I felt like Heather was coming from a place of gossip.
Well, here's the thing, I feel like we need
to, like, tread lightly on this.
Like, I don't wanna upset her.
- I don't wanna upset her either.
- It just makes me feel like she's not a good friend.
And I think Shannon needs to know this.
- I'm afraid if, like--
if you bring it up even, like, a little,
she's gonna get pissed
and think that we're, like, out to get her.
And I don't want her to think that that's the motive.
'Cause the motive is, like, "We're worried about you
and we care about you."
- I'm gonna see Shannon for lunch this week
after the pool party.
So I'm gonna, like,
kind of mildly bring it up to her.
- Yeah. - And just take it from there.
- Okay, but you have to promise me.
Don't throw me under the bus.
We're in this together, okay?
[upbeat music]
* *
- I don't know how this works.
- Have you used one before?
- Never. - Never?
All right, well, that's--
your job's to figure this thing out.
- This needs to remove. - All right,
so when I point to you
and I say, "Champagne gun time,"
you just hand it to me ready to go.
I don't know what you do with this.
Where does this go?
- 'Kay, but don't we need to, like, pat it?
Oh, what if it fell?
No. - [chuckles] Hang on to that.
- I give my neighbors a real show.
Can I just tell you what I do? - Yeah?
* *
There it is. - Ready?
You sure?
[chuckles] - Oh, it's a little orange.
- Hello. - Well, hi.
You guys remember Heather.
Here, sit here. - Yeah.
- Do you need anything?
- Underwear probably.
- Oh, would you like my underwear
or a pair of Eddie's? - I would prefer Eddie's.
- Would you? - But...
* *
- Oh, hi. - Hi, babe.
- What are you doing?
- Finishing up my workout
and I wanted to check on you.
- I'm feeling, like, nervous about today.
- Oh, baby, I understand.
You have to rise above it.
- I know. I do know. - Can you do me a favor
before you hang up? - Yeah?
- I need all the ladies' phone numbers
'cause I have a new dick pic I'm working on...
and I just want to get it out to everyone.
- You're funny. - Big smile. You're magical.
You know that. - Thank you, sweetheart.
- I love you. - I love you too. Bye.
- Bye.
- He's so good. - Such a sweetheart.
- He's such a sweetheart.
That's why I feel so bad. - Yeah. Right.
* *
[indistinct chatter]
- Can I do some of the sangria, but can we add
a little champagne to it so it's bubbly?
Thank you.
Hi, you look beautiful. - Hey. Oh, my gosh,
I like--I love your skirt.
- Thank you.
- Where's Emily? - Hi, Taylor. Welcome.
I'm so glad you could come.
This is my mother-in-law... - Oh, yeah, I'm Pary.
- Pary. - Hi.
- Welcome to our home. - It's stunning.
Thank you for having us.
- How do you hang out with her? - Okay, let me tell you,
when your best friend looks like this,
you are one hell of a confident woman.
That is what this says. - Okay. That is a fact.
- That's what it says. - That's a fact.
That's a fact. - Doesn't bother me at all.
I worship the ground she walks on.
- What in the hell do you do to look like that?
- Nothing! She does nothing.
- [laughs] - No, that is bullsh--.
- Oh, hello, hot stuff. - Hi.
- Whoo-hoo!
- That's so pretty. I love it. - Hi, Taylor.
- Hi, sweetheart. - Hi.
- Oh, good, you've got your smile back on.
- Oh, she-- - I do!
- She-- - I know, you were
really concerned for me. - She thought
you were a little sad. - I know.
I was. - You didn't seem--
- I'm questioning
whether our friendship is authentic or not.
I'm upset.
- Have, um-- have you talked to Jenn?
- I was with her yesterday.
I think Jenn just would like to be in a relationship
without everybody else being in her business.
- Well, hi. - Hi.
- Don't fall. - [chuckles]
- How are you? - I had so much fun.
- I was telling Terry. He was like,
"How was your time with the girls?"
- I'm like, "It was so good
and it was so needed." And...
- Yeah. - Like, just is was perfect.
- That's what we need.
I apologize for being aggressive.
- Yeah. - Because I'm really trying
to work on that. You're the one that has
a phony relationship with her. I don't feel like I have
a phony relationship. - Yes, you do.
It's the fakest ----ing thing I've ever seen.
I care about you.
And I care about our friendship.
- Me too. - So much.
So that's why I feel like it's so important
to just say it. - So if I do something...
- Yeah. - Just come to me and tell me.
- Okay, I will.
When you start to, like, go astray...
- Yeah. - You gotta rope it back in...
- Gotta bring-- - And then you reconnect.
- Yes.
- I think Emily is a very strong,
assertive woman, and I think that's amazing.
It's when it crosses over into the aggressive nature
that it is off-putting.
But I feel, like, in my heart that she doesn't mean it
and so I can get past it.
Usually.
- Hey! How are you? Good to see you, honey.
- How are you? - I'm good.
- Are you? - I mean...
- I was worried about you.
- How did you leave off Nobu?
- You know what? It just felt like it ended.
It feels like it's something personal with her
that I--I'm not understanding.
- I think that's how we all feel.
- Unless she's gonna drop some bombshell about you
that we don't know about.
- My stomach's in my throat.
What's it gonna be? Like, another attack on Jenn?
A feeding frenzy about Ryan?
I'm dressing in all black. Just bury me.
- How are you? - I'm Pary.
- Pary. - I'm Shane's mother.
- Thanks for having us. Good seeing everyone.
- Nice to meet you.
- Isn't she stunning?
I think she's almost 80. - [gasps]
- Somebody asked me like,
"Why didn't you just ask?
Like, why didn't you finish the conversation?"
But it wasn't the time.
I mean... - Yeah.
- There was no having
- Oh, no. - You weren't gonna have
a rational conversation with her.
She was three sheets to the wind.
- Yeah. - Tamra had too much to drink.
We've all been in that situation.
[all yelling at once]
It happens to all of us.
- It seems like, to me, Tamra wants
you to pay for something. - Oh, she does. But why?
- But what? - I don't know.
- That's what we're trying to figure out.
That's what we don't understand.
- Are you really sideways... - Why? What?
- About me meeting Ryan at your gym?
- You might have to ask her that.
- It's gotta be more than that.
[dramatic music]
- Thank you so much. Thank you.
Beautiful.
- Listen, Tammy, it's not time to go hammy.
Let's be nice.
- Hi. - Oh, Tamra's here.
- She better say hello.
Come on. Let's just go say hello.
Hi. You look hot.
- Why, so do you!
- Hi, Heather. - Hey, Jenn.
- How are you?
- I think you know Heather.
- I do. I just said hi. - We do.
[upbeat music]
- Hi! - Oh, Tamra's here.
- Hi, Heather. - Hey, Jenn.
- You deal with it. - I think you know Heather.
- I do. I just said hi. - We do.
Little bit, little bit. - Of course, known Heather
time or two, yeah. - I've heard a lot.
- This is Heather Amin.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Hi.
- Listen-- - Thank you for coming.
- Do we think anyone's going in the pool?
- I'm scared if I go in I'd get drowned.
- You're not gonna. - So can you throw me
a lifeline?
- Would you like some brie before the sun hits it hard?
- Gotta get the brie before it gets hit by the sun.
- Yeah. - I can't keep up
with my mother-in-law.
She told me one time we were in Vegas,
"You know, the way to keep a man happy
"is you just have sex with him all the time
and you make him food." And I was like,
"Oh--okay." - [chuckles]
- "'Kay, thanks!" - All right.
I made lots of movies.
I hope nobody ever gets an accidental group text.
- For $9.99... - [laughs]
- Really? Have you--
Have you done a sex tape? - You do?
- Oh, my gosh, never mind. - Tell us more.
- You fi--wait.
- He is very freaky, so maybe.
- Wow. - Then I'll, like, see it later
and I'm like, "Oh, my God." - You watch it?
- Yeah, then I'm like, "Oh, my ass looks huge.
Like, delete that."
- Oh, my gosh, I don't even like
watching myself on sitcoms.
How would I wanna watch myself having sex?
- Where do you wanna go? - In the shade?
- Okay, perfect.
- I'm so critical of myself--
- I would probably be... - No, my husband
would never do that. - Like, looking at the camera
in the middle. - Like, hello.
- Well, that's the actress in you.
- I know.
- Shannon Beador, you little whore.
- Yes.
- How are you? - Hi. What are you guys
sitting over here doing? - Bless your heart.
- There's the hostess with the most-ess.
- Wait, can I just show you...
- Yes, ma'am.
- Feel it. No, feel it. It's very tight.
Feel it.
* *
- Do you mind if I steal her for a minute?
Okay, thanks. Come on.
- [gasps] - What's going on?
- Heather's talking to Jenn.
- I don't ev--I--I--
I feel like I don't even know where to start.
Well, I reached out
because everything that she throws at me
supposedly is-- - What's everything?
- Just all Ryan's past.
- I'll tell you what hurts me...
- Mm-hmm. - Is when you texted me,
you threatened me. - How did I threaten you?
- You were threatening my-- saying--
- What do you think it feels like, Heather?
- You're assuming that all the information
is coming from me.
- Are you kidding me?
I mean, who's not honest here?
- Heather Amin said that he sent her a dick pic.
He pointed at me and said, "I'm gonna (BLEEP) her."
And Heather goes, "No, you're not.
She's married to Eddie."
- I don't like
lies being told about me
that I'm sending pictures, I'm doing this.
I didn't. Do I think Ryan's gonna send me
a dick pic? I've never had...
- No. - A relationship
with him like that. - No. So--
So-- - It upset me. It was--
- You have to know, like,
that was ----ing meant for you.
- Who was it meant for? - You have to have known that.
- Me! - Really?
- Yes. - You play this dumb role.
- But I'm in b-- - You play dumb.
- I'm not playing a dumb role.
- You play dumb, Jenn.
- She said they've been in therapy,
she and Ryan. - Yeah.
They're in therapy.
- So not a real therapist? - Okay, but I--
- Hi. - Hi.
- I just walked by Jenn and Heather...
- Okay. - Do I need to go over there?
- I don't know.
- Do I need to escort them out?
- I'll go. - No, no, but--
no, no, they're--maybe?
I--I don't know. - Okay.
- I'll go with you.
- The whole reason why I brought Heather Amin
is because I want the three of us
to talk this out. Hey, guys.
* *
- I'm trying to explain to her that I'm not sabotaging her.
I'm not here to hurt her. - I was just more saying
I'm done with your involvement
of Ryan and I's lives. You can judge it.
You can critique it. You can think
whatever you want. - We're not judging it.
But when you're not being honest about things,
- What do I need to be honest about Heather?
- Do we really need to go there?
- Oh, my God, I said this to her the other night
and got a napkin in my face.
- If I found out that my boyfriend
that I was in love with,
that I left my kids and my family for,
did what he did...
- So it's like Ross and Rachel?
Like, you were on a break? - Yeah, on a break.
- So while you were on the break...
- He-- - He may have had
a little dalliance somewhere. - Yes.
- With someone I know.
- They're not on a break!
What is this, friends?
- Oh, we broke up for two--
- You--first of all, you didn't break up.
You cheated on her and you got caught.
- It's not, like, I'm like, "Oh, we were on a break.
It's fine." It pisses me off and it hurts.
But this isn't, like, some "Nancy Drew" mystery solved
and you guys just gave me new information.
There's nothing new here.
- I don't know why she's going along with this.
- I would be devastated. You had zero reaction.
Where are your feelings?
- She has them.
- What is Shannon doing over there?
- Oh, you know Shannon...
- Why? - She's gotta get in there...
- But why? - [vocalizes]
- Wait, do we suck for not going to help?
- I mean there's four people over there.
You go in and it just becomes a big cluster (BLEEP).
- I don't wish you any bad. - It's a lot--
- I wish you the best. - It's just a lot
to be taken in when you're happy
in a relationship and you're hearing
all this stuff... - I know. Listen, look at me.
- That's not positive about your boyfriend.
- By no means ever was I hitting on your boyfriend.
Do not ins-- - I was making a point
that you and I would joke.
And I didn't understand the uncomfortableness
you were expressing to people that you felt.
- Just because I'm hosting,
I feel like I need to come and make sure
everything's okay. So is that okay that I do that?
- What is happening?
Do we not have anything better to talk about?
- I get upset because you're not standing up for yourself.
It's not me saying, "I'm out for Jenn,"
'cause I love you.
[tables scrapes]
- Honestly, it comes from caring, I feel like,
even though it's coming out the wrong way.
You're trying to manage a situation.
- You know what, you guys? - That's it, but--
- Why don't Tamra... - Why don't the two of you...
- And Jenn have a conversation. - Talk.
- I had to separate myself from you
because I can't cosign what he's doing.
- Okay. - Not because of what you are.
- Thank you, Heather. - And I won't ever cosign
someone doing the things... - This is not our--
not about us. - Oh, Heather.
- This is about them. - Let's go--yeah, let them--
- I feel like I'm ----ing married to Ryan.
Like, I'm annoyed listening to this relationship.
I'm ----ing sick of Ryan. I don't even know him.
- Listen, I overdrank. And I apologize
for throwing a napkin in your face.
I've been literally crying
and beating myself up.
I'm sorry. You have gone through so much.
And I just want you to be honest
and I want you to be strong and that's it.
I don't want you to be like, "Yeah, we were on a break.
No big deal." - We didn't know
where it was gonna end up.
And in my mind,
taking that time
wasn't taking time with other people.
'Cause I didn't do anything.
And--so for this to keep coming at me is a lot.
- I'm sorry. - I'm trying to move forward.
And I keep having to go back to it
and I don't want to go back to it.
- I just wanna make this better.
- This cycle keeps repeating itself.
And I will say this,
shame on you for hurting me once.
Shame on me if I keep letting you do this.
I don't know. I'm taking notes.
- What are they doing? - All right, wet it down.
Wet it down.
- What is that?
- It's if you ----ers don't get a long,
I'm gonna have to regulate.
- Do we nee--aah! No! - [chuckles]
[upbeat music]
- Are you ready?
On your mark,
get set, go! - Whoo!
Aah! [squeals]
- That actually was really ----ing fun.
- That is such a waste of good champagne.
- Really? - Look at all my spray tan.
- Look at that. Do you wanna go?
Now it's, like, dirty froth.
The water's a little murky.
- Don't really wanna touch that.
It's no bueno.
- Everybody in Orange County has a spray tan.
She said there's a lot of froth on there.
So I assume any pool party
or Slip 'N Slide in Orange County
has brown water.
- They are. That's from my spray tan.
[laughs]
- Wait, are you leaving? - I'm leaving you.
- Why? - Next time,
I wanna have ----ing fun.
Let's do that. - I was trying to have fun
at the [indistinct] - You--you managed
some serious fun today.
I've had enough for one day. I'm exhausted.
I can't fake it as well as some of these people.
- Totally straight up, you all look ----ing hot.
- Okay, okay. - Okay, here we go.
On your mark,
get set, go!
- Ow! - False start, Tamra Judge.
- [squealing]
- Oh, my God, you can slide.
- [squealing]
- I can't believe how far I went.
- Whoa! - [screams]
[laughter]
[screaming] - [giggles]
- Whoo-hoo! Yes!
Yes, yes, yes.
- No! No!
- Whoo! - Wait a minute.
- Tamra Judge, cover your nipples.
We do not have a budget for pixelation.
- Tamra, you still have your bottoms on.
[laughter] [cheering]
- One time. One time. - All right, I'll help you up.
- Let's go.
- With four children,
I have been to many water parks.
I don't like to touch the things there.
So with this suit,
my body doesn't touch... the ick.
If I hurt myself, I'm killing you.
- Now, why'd she get a scuba suit?
- It's a catsuit. Let's go, Catwoman.
- It is. - Oh, okay.
Pull it up, Dubrow. You got this, baby.
- When I envisioned this pool party,
I envisioned all these hot friends
in bikinis...
- On your mark, get set, go!
- Sh--.
- But I got Shannon in her Spanx
and Heather lookin' like a whale trainer
at SeaWorld.
- Right now.
- It's because they don't have any soap.
- This is not "Girls Gone Wild."
This is not even "Cougars Gone Wild."
This is not even, like, "Grannies Gone Wild."
This is "Nobody's Gone Wild."
- [screams]
- Whoa. Whoa. - [squeals]
- [laughs]
- Whoo!
* *
- When's the last time I made you a proper meal?
- This is, like, our third date.
- How about a pound of salami.
- Should take a picture and send it to the girls.
- Oh, yeah. Here's a dick pic for you.
Sorry about that. - No worries.
- Our jokes get a little dirty. Sorry.
- I brought you some donuts, honey.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- I'm so tired from that party.
- Did Tamra take her top off?
- That's, like, is the sky blue?
- Yeah. - Is the grass green?
- Right. Is Shane handsome?
- Is Shane handsome? - Okay.
* *
- One of my girlfriends has introduced me
to, like, a whole new group of women,
and there has just been...
a lot of stress... - Stress.
- That has come with it.
- What do you feel comfortable doing
as far as clearing some of the energy
out of your body. - Why don't you lead us?
- Okay.
[chanting]
- Your body looks great.
- Trying to get my abs back. - Oh, my God.
The abs are there. You look fantastic.
- Well, it's your birthday tomorrow.
- Oh, yeah.
[sighs] Oh, nice butt, honey.
- Yep, that was your birthday present.
There it was. [both chuckle]
- [chanting]
[exhales]
- That was in my journal last night.
- Excellent. - Yeah.
* *
- Smells good, babe. - Thank you.
- That smells, like, really good.
- We'll see how it actually comes out.
I made chicken parm, my stuffed artichokes
'cause I know that's your favorite.
- Oh, yeah.
- I set us a table, romantic. - Very nice.
- I don't tell anybody from back home
that I buy...
[giggles] It's so bad.
I have been hiding this secret for so long.
Hi, I'm Gina, and I buy--
I buy jarred sauce.
- Oh, my God, guess what.
I got an email today. I got approved
to take the real estate exam.
- That's awesome. - I've been talking to Dave
and Julia a lot lately.
- How are you feeling about the test?
- There's a lot on the line, you know?
Like, this is something now
that I'm really seeing could be
a really good potential career path.
They're gonna take me out and show me how,
like, they show homes-- - Yeah.
- And things that are important.
I really feel like
this is a good fit for me.
- It's, like, made for you. - Yeah.
- You get to talk a lot and look at fancy sh--.
- Yeah. I haven't even worked
in a long time.
Cara Gala is more of a long-term investment,
so I'm actually really proud of myself.
- How is it?
- It's good. - It's good?
- Yeah, I like the chicken a lot.
- I might have had to call my mom, like, two times.
But then, it's fine. - [chuckles]
- I think that passing the first real estate exam,
it gave me, like, the confidence boost
that I needed. So now I have passed
three prerequisite tests that I have to take
before taking the state exam.
I just wanna get it done.
I'm excited for us to work together.
- You think I'm gonna get on your nerves?
- I don't know.
- [laughs] You don't know?
- I mean, I feel like we work pretty well together.
Oh, my life is very different
from the track I thought I was on.
- Do you ever think about you wish you had stayed
on that track, or are you happy with where you're at now?
- I've been thinking about that a lot,
because I know now, like,
that I didn't properly process
through a lot of the trauma with Matt and I,
and I had to really look at that.
But in all honesty, I think a huge part of it
is because I stopped drinking.
- Mm-hmm. - I realize that I think
I was just kind of, like, pacifying it.
- Mm-hmm. - I couldn't honestly ask
for a better life, really, truly.
Like, I don't know, like, where I was gonna be.
It was gonna be totally different.
You know, it almost scares me
to think that I would've been,
like, stuck in that former life,
because I'm so happy.
- Yeah, it's like a true fresh start, you know?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
[pop music]
* *
- Look at those mean birds.
They have some mean birds around.
Oh, I should--well, I--
who knows? I might be long.
- I will. I will text you.
Okay. You go have fun.
* *
- Seriously?
- Sugar Tits! - Sitting here, like,
getting drunk alone.
- Oh, look at you
with your boobies out. - Oh, oh.
I was trying to be like you. - Look how cute you are.
- Oh, you're all so skinny.
- I missed you. - Oh, I missed you, baby.
- I know. What is that?
- Three shots of tequila. - Wait, wait, wait.
You had three shots of tequila?
With Vicki, I would be shocked
if I didn't see shots at the table.
She does know how to whoop it up.
- And welcome to Mozambique.
- Hi! How are you?
- Very well. She's already got
your tequila. - Of course she does!
Would you like a margarita to match up with her?
- I love it. - We love the tequila.
- Whatever she has, I have. - Okay, good.
- So how are you? I have not seen you
in three or four months. - That's not okay.
We live four minutes apart. - But you're not ever home.
I always try. - I try to be gone a lot.
I've got toothbrushes everywhere.
I'm spending my time in Newport Beach
and Puerto Vallarta and Kyoto.
Michael bought another house
in Pacific Beach, California.
Brianna is in Illinois,
and I've been dating a really nice man
for about a year now.
- My sex life is great.
He's incredible. Have you seen him?
[chuckles]
- [laughs]
Oh, wait, that'd be bad luck. - Yeah, you gotta wait
for Shannon. She said she was just
around the corner. - Kay.
- Oh, there she is! Speaking of the devil!
- [yells indistinctly] - Whoo!
- Who do you have to know to whoop it up around--
oh, my God. I almost just fell.
Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.
- The tres amigasare back!
- Finally. - [shrieks]
Whoo! Guess what she got us.
- What? both: Shots of tequila.
- Oh, God, right out of the gate.
Being with Tamra and Vicki,
you just elevate to crazy fun--
loco buen tiempo
with the tres amigas.
This is a lot of tequila. Okay, cheers.
- Cheers to us back together again.
* *
[struggles] I won.
[coughs]
I won! What'd I win?
- What'd she win, Johnny?
- Let's do "Kumbaya" right now.
- Do you even-- - Okay, wait, we gotta do
"Kumbaya." Are we praying?
- Well, let's do that too.
Lord, thank you for bringing us together again.
I've missed my friends,
and I'd love to learn how to--
whoop it up again!
- Yes, I love that you're telling Jesus
that we need to whoop it up.
That is amazing. - He understands who I am.
- Yeah, praise the Lord, praise the Lord.
- I'm not gonna lie-- I don't take that many shots,
except when I'm around these two girls.
- Get drunk! They're coming!
- Tres amigas! - I have really good shoes on!
- Do not pull me in! - If I throw up,
will you hold my hair? - I think I spilled my drink!
[laughter] - That last shot,
we probably shouldn't have done.
- I literally haven't eaten today.
- Margarita number two.
Catch up, bitches.
- I'm trying.
- Oh, my God, really?
- Ceviche is really good here. - Ceviche, yeah.
- No, no, no, no. That's raw fish.
[gags] - [laughs]
- How about a cheese platter?
- Cheese platter? Let's do the cheese platter.
- Your nipples are showing. - Are my nipples showing?
- That is a very sexy bra you have on.
- She's all about a sexy underwear.
- I wear crotchless panties.
I wear thigh highs. I wear whatever it takes,
because everybody's getting older.
Cheers to crotchless panties.
- So you, like, walk around the house like that?
- Yeah, I go to bed like that. - Well, you have no kids.
- And I have a lot of sex. All the time.
- Is that why you're skinny? - Yeah, that's because your
testosterone is so high. - No, it's because
I don't eat a lot.
- You're like a dude. - I'm a dude.
I think it's important to talk about sexuality between friends
because it's part of our life.
- Do you do that with John? Do you wear, like, lingerie?
- No, he's just like--
he just--he just wants naked.
- I wear sweats to bed.
Eddie's like, "You're a gangster."
Now I'm-I'm feeling like I'm incompetent.
Like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing
as the wife.
- You have to spice it up, Tamra.
- So I gotta spice it up.
- And I wanna be that woman that empowers women to,
you know, if you get in a car accident
and they take your clothes off,
that you're matching panties and bras and you're good.
My mom used to say, "You take care of your husband,
or somebody else will."
- And I wanna make some room here in the middle.
- Okay, so have you talked to Emily, Gina, Heather?
- I don't talk to Emily and Gina.
They're not in my wheelhouse.
I saw Heather a year ago,
and it was a little standoffish.
She puts me in this little
"I have an insurance company-- I'm below her."
Who's close with Heather now?
Are you? - We had a bit of a rocky year
last year, but over the summer,
we spent some time together.
- Wait, what? Define "rocky year."
- If you ever come after me or my family
ever again... - Well, I mean, she kind of--
- You are going to lose a lot more
than just my friendship.
- She wasn't my biggest fan.
- I'm not saying this as a threat.
I'm saying it as a promise.
- But anyways, we've kind of worked through things,
and so there's just kind of-- - Do you confide in her?
[dramatic music]
- Some--yeah, sometimes-- some things, I have.
- Do you feel like she would ever repeat what you say
in confidence? - No, no, I do believe
that she is a vault. I do.
* *
Oh.
So have you heard things about me recently?
- [gasps] She does.
She knows something. - Wait, have you--are--
don't bring that up.
Don't bring it up. - [gasps]
- If it's a vault, it's a vault, it's a vault,
but we wanna know what it was.
- Wait, are you kidding me right now?
Tamra, you can't do that to me right now.
- Are you okay?
- Where is she going? - Oh, my God, I can't.
* *
- I am not gonna air
a relationship that I don't know.
That's gonna destroy us
if that comes on the air.
So they're gonna start talking
about my relationship?
That's not okay.
Is that what it's about? - Yeah.
- Wow. Are you fu--I'm done.
This is gonna destroy everything.
We're done. My relationship is over
if this is on the air.
- And then, there was one. [guffaws]