1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,773 (woman over P.A.) Tracy Jordan to the stage, please. 2 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,409 Tracy to the stage. 3 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,777 Hey, hey, hey, where are you going? 4 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,245 They've been paging you for rehearsal! 5 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:13,047 Rehearsal? We did a show last week. 6 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,248 I just came to pick up a paycheck. 7 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,584 No. We do a show every Friday, Tracy. 8 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,086 It's not gonna work. 9 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,254 Next Friday is Damon Dash's birthday party. 10 00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:21,555 And the Friday after that 11 00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,524 there's an orgy over at Elizabeth Hasselbeck's. 12 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,459 Yeah? Well, you're part of a team now, okay? 13 00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,295 So you have to be in the shows and you have to rehearse. 14 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,497 And when you rehearse, Jenna would really like it-- 15 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,764 I would like it too-- 16 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,134 if you would read exactly what's on the cue cards. 17 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,402 It's making everybody crazy. 18 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,736 Can't do it. 19 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,371 I'm an improviser. 20 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,140 My acting style is like jazz. 21 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,474 Jazz that you laugh at. 22 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,410 [imitates jazz trumpet] 23 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,081 "Ah ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha!" 24 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,282 Just try, okay? 25 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:51,552 I have a meeting upstairs. I'll be right back. 26 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:52,653 (Jenna) Pete. 27 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,822 Hey. Do you remember that song I recorded last year 28 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,091 when I was dating that Persian record producer? 29 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,159 Oh...no. 30 00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,393 It's a dance-pop techno hybrid 31 00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:00,294 called Muffin Top. 32 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,496 I gave everybody copies at Christmas? 33 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,198 Oh, yeah, right. I don't remember that. 34 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:07,568 Well, apparently it's a number-one hit in Israel. 35 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,138 Hey, Israel. Wow. Yes. 36 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,139 And I noticed we had a couple of minutes left, 37 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,141 so I thought maybe I could do it on the show. 38 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,342 Okay, you can do the short version. 39 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,509 You should know that Muffin Top 40 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,777 is also number four in Belgium. 41 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:17,778 I said you could do it. 42 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,313 Why not?! 43 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,816 Oh. I mean, thank you. 44 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,819 [classical music] 45 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:29,790 * 46 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,325 Hello. 47 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:32,760 For over a hundred years, 48 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,429 GE has been imagining the future... 49 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,630 today. 50 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,699 And I'm here to talk to you today 51 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:41,135 about a wonderful new synergy. 52 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:44,805 It's called "product integration." 53 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,807 It's revolutionizing the way 54 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,643 we monetize broadcast television. 55 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,579 How does it work? Simple. 56 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,880 All you have to do 57 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,549 as the writing staff of an NBC show 58 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,718 is incorporate positive mentions-- 59 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:01,422 or PosMens--of GE products into your program. 60 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,492 For example, you could write an episode 61 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,793 where one of your characters 62 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,128 purchases-- and is satisfied with... 63 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:12,833 one of GE's direct-current drilling motors 64 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:16,404 for an offshore or land-based project. 65 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,172 Product integration... 66 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,440 setting a new standard 67 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,609 in upward revenue stream dynamics. 68 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:22,876 [music swells] 69 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,545 For all of us. 70 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,380 [music ends dramatically] 71 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,818 Now, I'd be happy to answer any questions. 72 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,553 I'm sorry. You're saying 73 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,855 you want us to use the show to sel stuff? 74 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,957 Look, I know how this sounds. 75 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,692 No, come on, Jack. We're not doing that. 76 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,628 We're not compromising the integrity of the show 77 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,863 to sell-- Wow. This is diet Snapple? 78 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,865 I know, it tastes just like regular Snapple, doesn't it? 79 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,334 You should try Plum-A-Granate. 80 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,601 It's amazing. 81 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,737 I only date guys who drink Snapple. 82 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,672 Look, we all love Snapple. 83 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,674 Lord knows I do, but focus here. 84 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,709 We're talking about product integration. 85 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,711 No, no. We are not your shills. 86 00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,847 Oh! Oh-ho. I'm sorry. 87 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,282 That's right. They're artists, 88 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,916 like James Joyce 89 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:03,984 or Strindberg. 90 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:04,852 Get real, kids. 91 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,754 You write skits mocking our presidents 92 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,522 to fill time between car commercials. 93 00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:09,957 That's not fair. 94 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,692 Josh gets a lot of fan mail 95 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:12,793 for Gaybraham Lincoln. 96 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,563 [lisping] Four score and seven beers ago. [laughs] 97 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,798 (Liz) Did you guys know that Holland 98 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,800 is the only country with a national dog? 99 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:20,634 I didn't know that. 100 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,470 Hmm. There's little facts under there. 101 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,473 [exciting jazz music] 102 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:33,514 * 103 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,591 (woman over P.A.) That's a lunch break, everybody. 104 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,859 Back in an hour, please. 105 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,530 Um, did you talk to Tracy about reading the cue cards? 106 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,698 I tried. 107 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,366 Well, he's not reading them. 108 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,001 He never reads them, Liz. 109 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,903 I'm starting to think... 110 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,738 [whispers] he can't read! 111 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,873 Oh, that-- that's just offensive, Jenna. 112 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,409 I don't know. 113 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,810 Have you ever seen him read anything? Of course. 114 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,912 Like when we shoot promos. 115 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,614 Hi. I'm Tracy Jordan. 116 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:07,948 I'm black, NBC! 117 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:11,519 Very proud, like peacocks, right, Janet? 118 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,887 Hmm. 119 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,923 (Liz) Hey, Tracy, 120 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:16,790 I missed that last run-through. 121 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,792 Could you run it once off cards for me? 122 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,496 Naw, Lemon. I'll do that later. 123 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,031 I gotta bounce. 124 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,900 Okay, that's the-- 125 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,502 [alarm sounds] 126 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:29,937 It says, "Emergency exit only. " 127 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,339 He couldn't read that? 128 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,874 (Frank) Man, Jenna's 129 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,976 really gotten squirrelly since Tracy came along. 130 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,345 It's so sad. 131 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,579 What's really sad is that 132 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,681 while she's in this fragile state, 133 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,683 none of her friends are messing with her head. 134 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,352 I think we should do something about that. 135 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,986 (Frank) Hmm. 136 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,655 Shh. Okay. All right. 137 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:48,822 Hey, what are you guys talking about? 138 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,991 Oh. Uh...nothing. 139 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,826 What, is it about me? 140 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,928 Okay. Um... 141 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,397 There's a rumor going around 142 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,032 that Donaghy has to cut costs around here. 143 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,601 Oh. (Frank) Yeah. 144 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,870 My friend in accounting, Lando Calrissian, 145 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:06,039 he says Jack's probably gonna have to fire an actor. 146 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,475 Oh. 147 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,743 Thank you guys for telling me. 148 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,388 It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 149 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,990 Yeah, if the fish have daddy issues. 150 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:23,924 I can't believe you guys 151 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,560 actually wrote a product integration sketch. 152 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:27,995 Jack said we had to. 153 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,062 It just seems weird. 154 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,098 This show's not a commercial. 155 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,199 Excuse me. 156 00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,835 Can you tell me where Human Resources is, please? 157 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,837 That way. Thanks. 158 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,007 This is gonna sound crazy, but, um... 159 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,141 Tracy can read, right? 160 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,643 What? Are you serious? 161 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,844 The guy's done dozens of movies. 162 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:44,945 Yeah, but it's not like his movies 163 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,814 seem like he's reading a script. 164 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,551 Let's go rescue Karen or whatever. 165 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:51,885 Is there a Cheryl? 166 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,622 Then she could tell us where drugs are-- 167 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:55,956 I mean gold-- 168 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,991 Then we got the car chase. 169 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,494 I'm getting way too old for this! 170 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,162 Was I supposed to say that then? 171 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,664 That's true. 172 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,699 And he never reads the cue cards... 173 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,568 God, I thought all that stuff was just crazy Tracy seeing 174 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,869 what he could get away with. 175 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,838 I know, but, you know, it's not surprising. 176 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,773 Look at the educational system in this country. 177 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:13,807 We spend all this money 178 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:14,908 in Iraq, but meanwhile, 179 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,009 our inner-city graduation rates 180 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,978 are lower than they are in the Sudan. 181 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,813 That doesn't sound right. 182 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,014 Maybe it was Sweden. 183 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,483 [ding] 184 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,018 Maybe it was teen pregnancy. 185 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,987 I gotta read more. 186 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,891 [knock on door] 187 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,526 (Jack) What can I do for you? 188 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,862 So we wrote a product integration sketch. 189 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,029 Good. But we wanted to 190 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,598 run it by you first 191 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,000 because it's about how GE is making us do this. 192 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,102 And we were kinda hoping 193 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,538 that the GE executive in the sketch 194 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,740 could be played by...you. 195 00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:48,075 [laughs] Oh, I get it-- 196 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,010 The whole self-referential thing: 197 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,178 Letterman hates the suits, 198 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,646 Stern yells at his boss, 199 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,548 Nixon's "sock it to me" on Laugh-In. 200 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,884 Yeah. 201 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:57,951 Hippy humor. 202 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,020 That's what I'm going for. 203 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,555 Well, as you know, I've been studying comedy 204 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,723 and learning what's funny. 205 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,857 I'm watching Friends right now. 206 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,993 What happens with Ross and Rachel? 207 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:06,794 No, no. Don't tell me. 208 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,729 Seriously. What were you saying? 209 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,130 So will you do it? 210 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,098 I don't know, Lemon. I'm not an actor. 211 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,866 This is your world. 212 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,067 Oh, come on. You can do this. 213 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,936 You were great in that video. Yeah! 214 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,906 This is live television. 215 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,908 I've never done anything like that before. 216 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:26,580 Okay, I'll do it. 217 00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,816 Ohh! Great, great. Thanks, Jack. 218 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,884 So rehearsal will be tomorrow at 2:00. 219 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:31,852 Please don't be late. 220 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:35,556 And I will fax you any changes by 9:00 a.m. 221 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,990 You're such a Monica! 222 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,026 Ah ha! You are. 223 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,840 Uhh. 224 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,142 He never reads anything. 225 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:58,078 Uh, why is Jack Donaghy on the cast list? 226 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,813 Oh, he's gonna do this GE sketch. 227 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:00,814 It's really funny. 228 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,115 Oh, so he gets to be in sketches, 229 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,951 but he's gonna fire one of the real actors? 230 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,953 What? I got inside information 231 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,822 that Jack is gonna fire one of the actors to cut costs. 232 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:09,957 No. I haven't heard anything like that. 233 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,991 Don't worry about it. 234 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,025 Oh, I'm not worried... 235 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,862 Because I have something the other actors don't. 236 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,063 A secret weapon. 237 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,899 Oh, don't say your sexuality. 238 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,100 My sexuality! 239 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:23,771 Oh, God, Jenna, when has that ever worked? 240 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,806 Uh, when has it not worked? 241 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,608 It'll be a 45-minute wait. 242 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,677 Oh, will it? 243 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:32,946 Uh, yeah. 244 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,147 Yeah. Yeah, it will. 245 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,917 Yeah, but this is different 246 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,952 because I know Jack Donaghy. 247 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,187 I know what he likes. 248 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,623 Yeah, so now you just have to make yourself ten years younger 249 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:43,691 and Asian. 250 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:48,962 I don't know what to tell you. 251 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,631 They're making me rehearse. 252 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,899 [chuckles] 253 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,868 I know Pat Benatar rarely performs live. 254 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,904 Scalp the damn tickets. 255 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,273 These are the changes for the sketches that you're in. 256 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,075 Cool. I'll read those later, Lemon. 257 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,681 Tray... 258 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,317 Can you read? 259 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,920 Can I read? 260 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,021 Please don't get angry. 261 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,757 It's not your fault. It's the system. 262 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,025 Did you ever see Hoop Dreams? 263 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,292 It's like that. 264 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,662 So you're asking me if I'm illiterate? 265 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:22,663 You don't even have to answer me 266 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,664 if you don't want to. 267 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:24,932 Just know that if you need a tutor, 268 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,700 we will get you a tutor. 269 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,301 If you need to be in fewer sketches 270 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,837 until you get more confident, 271 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,872 we'll accommodate you, whatever you need. 272 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:36,009 So I could, like, leave work early if I need a tutor? 273 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,045 Absolutely. We'll work around your schedule. 274 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,981 I can't read, Liz Lemon! 275 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,350 My shameful secret is out. 276 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,152 Now you know why I'm always running 277 00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,087 into the ladies' bathroom. 278 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,924 I can't read! 279 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:54,027 I sign my name with an X! 280 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,863 I once tried to make mashed potatoes 281 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,165 with laundry detergent! 282 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:01,669 I think I voted for Nader! 283 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,137 Nader! 284 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,706 I feel as though a great weight 285 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,374 has been lifted off of me, Liz Lemon. 286 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,943 Today is the first day of the rest of my life. 287 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,947 [chokes up] All thanks to one very, very special white lady. 288 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,315 I'll be in late tomorrow. 289 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:26,093 Damn, George Will just gets more and more conservative. 290 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,866 Liz? 291 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,067 Hi. Did you tell Jack 292 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,102 he can be on the show? 293 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,070 Yeah, he was kind of excited about it, actually. 294 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,205 Oh, yeah, he's very excited. 295 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,107 But you cannot put him on live TV. 296 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,108 Why? 297 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,876 Okay. 298 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,244 I'm only showing you this 299 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:47,781 because I care about him so much. 300 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,085 (stage manager) GE Promo. 301 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,086 Take one. 302 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,322 (man) Action! 303 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,791 (Jack) Did you say, "Action"? Yes. Action! 304 00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:58,892 Could you say it louder, please? I'm sorry. 305 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,160 Action! 306 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,261 GE Promo. Take two. 307 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,364 Hello. For over a hundred years-- 308 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,733 Line? 309 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,934 Sorry. My bad. 310 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,201 What's the first line? 311 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,402 (Claire) Product integration! 312 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,104 [clears throat] Okay. 313 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,207 Right, got it. I just need the first word. 314 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,843 (Claire) Product! 315 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,079 What's the second word? 316 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,948 (Jack) Okay, I knew that. Okay, d-d-uh... 317 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,050 If I ask for the line again, don't tell me. 318 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,052 Line? 319 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,920 Line? Product integration. 320 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:27,988 I told you don't give me the line 321 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,857 when I ask for the line. 322 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,391 I got it. I got it. 323 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,960 Could we get a do-over there? 324 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,127 Let's go again, can we? 325 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,395 What? 326 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,964 [bleep] What is it? 327 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:37,898 [clap] I don't like this at all. 328 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,000 [clap] Okay, I got it. Let's go again. 329 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,736 The pen doesn't really write. Does that matter? 330 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,939 And I'm here today-- [laughs] 331 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,374 My bad. I'm sorry. 332 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,109 Oh...God. 333 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,177 Why don't we go to lunch 334 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,311 and we'll come back and maybe-- 335 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,980 Let's all go have lunch. 336 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,447 (stage manager) GE Promo. 126. [clap] 337 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,916 It's weird. What do I do with my arms? 338 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,217 I've never thought about that before. 339 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,052 Is it this? 340 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:04,124 Or, if I may, 341 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,926 this? 342 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,862 Maybe I should just hold something. 343 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,130 OK, yeah, this feels more natural. 344 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,899 Is that right? Yeah. 345 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,267 "New synergy"--does that sound odd to anyone else? 346 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,837 Does that sound like "news energy"? 347 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,071 And this satisfies-- [wham] 348 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,840 Oh. Ouch, ouch. 349 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:20,908 (man) You all right? 350 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,542 Could I get a little, uh... 351 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,211 I'm here to talk to you television 352 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:27,547 about the monetizing of today broadcast. 353 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,916 Was any of that usable? 354 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,951 GE Promo. 129. 355 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,485 It's called, "racial integration"-- 356 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,154 No, that's not right, is it? 357 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,023 It's called, "product intergort"-- 358 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,024 "intergortian"? 359 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:40,027 ...the way we monetize broadcast television. 360 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,461 How does it work? 361 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,996 Oh! [bleep] 362 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:43,897 [cell phone rings] 363 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,866 Could we turn off the phones, please? 364 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,134 [cell phone rings] 365 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,269 Oh, I'm sorr--ha! I'm sorry. That's me. 366 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,404 Let me turn this thing off here. 367 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,841 I think I just took a picture. 368 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,275 I'm sorry, everybody, there's a [bleep] pigeon. 369 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,844 Shoo! 370 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,011 [bleep] 371 00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:00,280 ...purchases, and is satisfied with--Oh. 372 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,414 [glass shatters] 373 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,482 142. 374 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,986 ...in upward revenue stream dynamics. 375 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,921 For all of us. 376 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,222 (man) Cut. That's a wrap. 377 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,391 Ha! That was fun, you guys. 378 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,960 Didn't feel like five days, did it? 379 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,127 (man) No. Nah, that wasn't bad. 380 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,428 Everybody have a good weekend. 381 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,464 And... we'll be right back. 382 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:21,935 (woman over P.A.) Jenna to the stage, please. 383 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,271 Jenna to the stage for Muffin Top. 384 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,939 (Jack) Hey, Liz? 385 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,274 Liz... 386 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,509 I'm a little bit nervous about this rehearsal. 387 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,011 Oh, I'm glad you brought that up. 388 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,212 You know, you don't have to do this. 389 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,613 I know how busy you are. 390 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,082 Oh, no, I have to do it. 391 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,584 It's a new challenge, and I like challenges. 392 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,186 I've summited Kilimanjaro. 393 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,988 I've showered with Greta Van Susteren. 394 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,023 I--I'm gonna do this, yeah. 395 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,424 The time, sir. 396 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,558 Oh, that's right. Do you mind? 397 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,094 We'll do it around the corner, okay? 398 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:47,995 I'll be with you in a minute. 399 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,062 I have a conference 400 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,363 with my corporate division head. 401 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,965 Oh, yeah? Are you guys gonna... 402 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,166 ...correlate 403 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,937 overseas earnings report dynamics? 404 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,939 Yes. 405 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,411 Liz? 406 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,578 Did I just hear Jack? 407 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:06,379 Oh, no, no, no. Please. 408 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:07,647 I know for a fact he is talking 409 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,082 to his boss right now. 410 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:10,083 Really? 411 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,584 Don't bother him. 412 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:12,953 Fine. 413 00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,421 Don't. 414 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,160 (Jack) Of course, sir. 415 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,428 I'll look into it right away. 416 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,296 (Ron) Actions speak louder than words. 417 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,431 Take care of it. 418 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,598 Don't worry, I'll have it on your desk 419 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:26,666 first thing in the morning. 420 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,435 Look, I am tired of your promises! 421 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:29,970 I want this thing fixed. 422 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,972 I'm-- I'm on it, sir. 423 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,613 So... 424 00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,983 You're Jack's boss, huh? 425 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,018 Oh, well, yeah, that's what they tell me. 426 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,288 I'm Jenna, by the way. 427 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,091 Oh, I, uh, I know who you are. 428 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,359 [giggles] 429 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,460 I'm Ron. 430 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,262 Oh, Ron. 431 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,596 [both chuckle] 432 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,966 How do you take your coffee, Ron? 433 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,200 I take it? Uh... 434 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,536 I--I take it, uh, with the non-dairy creamer. 435 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,138 Mmm. 436 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:09,709 Yeah. Non-dairy creamer. 437 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,079 Yum. 438 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,083 [coughing] 439 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,088 Ahem. 440 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,622 Ahem. 441 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:23,991 Mmm. 442 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,158 Ahh. 443 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,259 Oh, yeah. 444 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,327 Eh-heh. Wow. 445 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,495 Quiet, please! 446 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:29,963 Rehearsing! 447 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,464 From Mr. Donaghy's entrance. 448 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,501 What's up, Mr. Donaghy? 449 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:35,602 That's Josh's line. 450 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:36,603 Your lines are in blue. 451 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,105 My bad. I'm sorry. 452 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,107 Those cards are a little confusing. 453 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,242 Hello, everyone. 454 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,545 Thanks for waiting, please. Sit...down. 455 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,147 Okay, that's great. Just one thing, sir. 456 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,349 You're looking into the camera a little bit. 457 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,417 No, I'm not. 458 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:54,121 I want to, but I'm not. No. 459 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,188 Could I get 460 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,057 two coffee cups? 461 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,158 Yeah, you know, let's take five minutes, 462 00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,059 actually, uh, everybody, 463 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:02,062 while we get Mr. Donaghy some coffee cups. 464 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,063 I know you want to do this, 465 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,431 [whispers] but I don't think it's working out. 466 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,498 I agree. It's the writing. 467 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,499 It's not natural. 468 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,400 Uhh! Really? 469 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:08,535 You think the problem is the writing? 470 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,669 Yeah. It's clunky. 471 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,372 Wow. Well, I was really trying to help you out of this, 472 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,074 but, you know what? You're the boss. 473 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,075 I think I can do it. 474 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,676 No. You should definitely do it. 475 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:17,844 It'll be hilarious. Oh, well, that'd be 476 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:21,248 a refreshing change of pace for the show, wouldn't it? 477 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,282 Excuse me. 478 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,392 Why would Tracy pretend to be illiterate? 479 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,593 To get out of coming to work. 480 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,028 Oh, so first you thought he was illiterate, 481 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,529 and now you think he's lazy? 482 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,099 Jeez, you are racist. 483 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,668 No. Tracy took advantage of my white guilt, 484 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,703 which is to be used only for good, 485 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:47,107 like over-tipping and supporting Barack Obama. 486 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,808 [video game beeps] 487 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:49,809 [knock on door] 488 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,645 Summon. 489 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,580 Hey, Tray. 490 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,648 Kenneth told me you finally got in to work. 491 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,717 Yeah, I had to go to reading class. 492 00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,753 You hear this mess about sometimes Y being a vowel? 493 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:01,821 What a world. 494 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,056 Ah... 495 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,257 Well, we just wanted to show you 496 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,625 the new posters for the show. 497 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,760 Yeah, all right. Cool. 498 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,236 So it's okay to hang these all over the city? 499 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,571 Yeah. 500 00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:19,806 It's good. 501 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,074 I like it. 502 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,143 Really? 503 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,445 Really. 504 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,782 I'll be leaving early today. 505 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:35,288 (man over P.A.) Jenna and Ghostface Killah, 506 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,425 to the stage, please, for Muffin Top. 507 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,693 [phone rings] 508 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,235 Hello? 509 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,238 Jack? 510 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,605 It's 3:00 in the morning. 511 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,141 What's wrong? 512 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,444 [talking quietly] 513 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,586 That's quite a commitment to such terrible writing. 514 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,291 Lemon, I don't know how to do this. 515 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,493 I know. 516 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,831 I don't get it. It's not the fear. 517 00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,900 I thrive on fear. 518 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,170 You're looking out a fake window right now, by the way. 519 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,505 I bow-hunt polar bear. 520 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,307 I once drove a rental car into the Hudson 521 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,575 just to practice escaping. 522 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,210 And it's not the public speaking. 523 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,644 There's just something about performing 524 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,546 that I can't wrap my brain around. 525 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,383 All this creative crap. 526 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,450 Acting! 527 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,618 oh... 528 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,820 I've never been able to do it. 529 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,490 Never. 530 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,259 Grains and cereals are an important-- 531 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,627 Oh! 532 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,661 Line! 533 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,497 Damn it! Son of a bitch! 534 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,233 Lemon. 535 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,867 I need your help. 536 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,904 Really... Jack Donaghy needs my-- 537 00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:58,938 Don't gloat. 538 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,640 It makes you seem mannish. 539 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,275 Okay. 540 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,211 Look, this is not your fault. 541 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,312 This whole thing was a bad idea. 542 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,713 We should just have Josh do it, 543 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,348 and we'll just tell everyone you're on a business trip. 544 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,148 That's not an option. I have to do it. 545 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,350 Once I set my mind to something, 546 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,351 I have to accomplish it. 547 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,352 Ten years ago, 548 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,486 I was an inch-and-a-half shorter than I am today. 549 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,754 Sheer willpower. 550 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:15,888 If I don't figure this thing out by Friday, 551 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:16,889 then failure wins, 552 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,291 and that's not acceptable. 553 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,292 [hyperventilates] 554 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,793 Oh, God, the room is spinning. 555 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,662 What do you want from me? 556 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,331 I'm one of your actors. I'm freaking out. 557 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,266 Talk me down. 558 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,835 Okay, here's your pep talk. 559 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,538 You're not an actor. You're Jack Donaghy, all right? 560 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,740 So quit whining and nut up. 561 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:34,874 You're right, if you can't do this, 562 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:35,942 you a a failure. 563 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,310 Josh can do this, 564 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,778 and earlier today, he ate a club sandwich 565 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,780 with the toothpicks still in it. 566 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:41,648 Jenna can do this, 567 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,816 and she was once engaged to David Blaine. 568 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,752 Any dumb-dumb 569 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:46,886 can act, Jack, 570 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,821 so be a man and get it done. 571 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,898 If you were any other woman on earth... 572 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,967 I would be turned on right now. 573 00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:03,870 Go home. 574 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,738 Get some sleep. 575 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,445 This stays between us, right, Lemon? 576 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,816 Lemon? 577 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:19,986 Lemon? 578 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,293 Lemon? 579 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:33,933 Well, I don't think I have to worry about my job anymore. 580 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,568 And I didn't bother Jack at all. 581 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:36,703 Oh, good for you. 582 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,805 That's right. I took your advice. 583 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:41,574 I hooked up with his boss. 584 00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,577 Who, Ron? Mm-hmm. 585 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,580 That guy's an extra on the show. 586 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,749 No. He said he was Jack's boss. 587 00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,318 No.the sketch. 588 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,720 He doesn't even have a line. 589 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:54,887 He doesn't have lines? 590 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,889 Don't eat in costume! 591 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,891 Give me a break. I'm just-- 592 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:04,831 But he was yelling at Jack. 593 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,499 Actions speak louder than words. 594 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,834 Take care of it. 595 00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,068 Don't worry, sir, I'll have it on your desk 596 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,403 first thing in the morning. 597 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:11,538 I am tired of your promises. 598 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:13,573 I just want this thing fixed now! 599 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:14,907 I'm on it, sir. 600 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,579 What is the point of belonging to the Extras Guild 601 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,782 if I cannot get health coverage for my foot, hmm? 602 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:23,850 Ew. 603 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,752 Oh, God, Jenna. 604 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,954 I told you, don't listen to rumors. 605 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,389 But Frank and Toofer said to me-- 606 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,623 Frank and Toofer? 607 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,325 That's where you're getting your information? 608 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,960 They're messing with you! 609 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,762 No. They wouldn't do that to me. 610 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:36,896 Yeah, they would. 611 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:38,898 Oh! 612 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,468 I am gonna get back at them... 613 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,670 using my sexuality. 614 00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:48,675 Do you have any left? 615 00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,910 (man over P.A.) Jenna, Ghostface Killah, and Yo-Yo Ma 616 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:54,313 to the stage, please, for Muffin Top. 617 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:00,820 Where the hot lesbians at, 618 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:02,355 Lemon? I knew it! 619 00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:03,356 You can read! 620 00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:04,357 Fine. 621 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:05,858 Yes, I'm literate! 622 00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:08,995 I even have a column in Ebony called Musings! 623 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:10,397 You are unbelievable. 624 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:11,798 I'm unbelievable? 625 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,065 What about your racist mess? 626 00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:14,901 Thinking a grown man is illiterate. 627 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:18,371 That's the subtle racism of lowered expectations. 628 00:22:18,405 --> 00:22:19,872 Bing Crosby said that. 629 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,041 No, Bill Cosby said that. 630 00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,476 That's racist. 631 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,712 Look, we can all agree 632 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,980 Liz is generally pretty racist. 633 00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:28,981 The point is, 634 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,116 you have people 635 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,518 counting on you. 636 00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:33,453 You can't be finding excuses not to be here. 637 00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:35,121 But this job is hard! 638 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:36,923 I just want to be able 639 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:37,990 to do what I want to do. 640 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,959 You know, I once shot a whole movie 641 00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,628 without ever getting out of my car? 642 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:42,862 Yeah, I paid to see that. 643 00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:44,564 That was supposed to be a western. 644 00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:46,433 You're not a big shot 645 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:47,600 movie star anymore, Tray. 646 00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:49,101 You're the star of TGS, 647 00:22:49,135 --> 00:22:51,003 and you will read the lines as written, 648 00:22:51,037 --> 00:22:53,673 starting tonight because this show is important. 649 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,742 I set a very high standard for myself, 650 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:56,809 and I expect the same 651 00:22:56,843 --> 00:22:58,678 of the professionals who work with me. 652 00:22:58,711 --> 00:22:59,912 When Gaybraham Lincoln gets hit in the crotch, 653 00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:01,047 can I go cross-eyed? 654 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,549 Oh, yes, do that. That's hilarious! 655 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:08,120 [upbeat music] 656 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:10,857 Hey have you seen Frank 657 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,692 or Toofer? 658 00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:14,494 Pete! 659 00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:15,828 The standards lady 660 00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:18,130 is saying that my moaning in Muffin Top is too graphic. 661 00:23:18,164 --> 00:23:19,899 Which of these is less offensive? 662 00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:22,134 Ahh! Ahh! 663 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:23,836 Ahhh! 664 00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:24,871 Or... 665 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:25,872 Ooh-hunh! 666 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:26,873 Unh-hunh! 667 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,875 Ohhh! 668 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,743 Both sound good to me. 669 00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:32,912 Hello, Ron. 670 00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,683 I would just hate for Muffin Top to get cut 671 00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:37,750 because of a standards problem. 672 00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:38,951 I've already posted it 673 00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:40,019 on my weblog though I'll be doing it. 674 00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:41,087 Jenna, we're not gonna cut it. 675 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,589 Are you messing with me? 676 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:43,890 Because people around here keep messing with me. 677 00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,191 I'm not messing with you. 678 00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:47,960 So which one? Ahh! 679 00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:48,928 Or, ohhh! 680 00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,963 Uh, I guess... 681 00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:52,899 Uh, "ahh ahh! Ahh." 682 00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,571 Oh, Hey. Look, it's no big deal, 683 00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:00,507 but we had to make some changes in your sketch, okay? 684 00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:02,241 I have new pages for you. You do? 685 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,843 Yeah. Tracy is now in it now, 686 00:24:03,876 --> 00:24:05,044 so we had to change some of the cues. 687 00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:08,014 Also, the opening VT is cut, so you just go right out, okay? 688 00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:10,917 Oh, and, um, you all say the last line together. 689 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,885 Wow. So, uh... 690 00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:14,987 So you're gonna be great. Have fun. 691 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,156 Lemon, these pages are blank. 692 00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:19,559 Oh. 693 00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:20,727 Never mind. 694 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,828 Withdrawn. 695 00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:23,195 And, remember, don't look 696 00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:24,997 into the camera! 697 00:24:25,031 --> 00:24:26,699 [upbeat music ends, cheers and applause] 698 00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:28,034 (woman over P.A.) Four minutes to air. 699 00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:30,169 That's 4 minutes to air. 700 00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:31,771 Toofer? Yeah? 701 00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:32,772 Can I tell you a secret? 702 00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:35,241 Sure. We've been working together a while, 703 00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:37,510 and I know this may sound crazy, 704 00:24:37,544 --> 00:24:39,879 but I've been watching you. 705 00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:42,214 I have this fantasy of sneaking up to the roof 706 00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:44,517 of 30 Rock, and we make love 707 00:24:44,551 --> 00:24:45,885 while looking out at the city -- 708 00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:47,019 Okay, let me guess. 709 00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:49,922 You figured out Frank and I lied to you, so to get even, 710 00:24:49,956 --> 00:24:53,760 you're trying to get me naked on the roof and leave me there. 711 00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:55,027 Nice try. 712 00:24:57,296 --> 00:24:58,898 Where's Frank? 713 00:24:59,966 --> 00:25:01,934 [laughter] But we're cool, 714 00:25:01,968 --> 00:25:02,969 right, Mr. Donaghy? 715 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:05,137 No, you're all fired. 716 00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:08,941 [laughter] 717 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:12,311 [rewinding] 718 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,681 No, you're all fired. 719 00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:15,982 [laughter] 720 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,551 [knock on door] 721 00:25:18,585 --> 00:25:20,252 Hey, good job the other night. 722 00:25:20,286 --> 00:25:22,955 Oh, you mean on the show? Thanks. 723 00:25:22,989 --> 00:25:24,757 What were you watching? 724 00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:26,258 Nothing. Uh... 725 00:25:26,292 --> 00:25:27,894 Bloomberg. 726 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:29,195 Hmm. 727 00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:33,332 Aha! 728 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:34,333 Don't be cute, Lemon. 729 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,802 You're too old for that. 730 00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:39,205 [knocking] 731 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,575 Good God! 732 00:25:44,143 --> 00:25:45,211 Lemon! 733 00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:46,345 (Frank) Mr. Donaghy, 734 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:47,880 open up! 735 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:48,881 Please? 736 00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:50,917 Lemon! 737 00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:53,319 * Everyone knows 738 00:25:53,352 --> 00:25:55,955 * The most delicious part of the muffin * 739 00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:58,090 * Is the top 740 00:25:58,124 --> 00:25:59,358 * My muffin top 741 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:02,128 * Is all that whole grain, low-fat * 742 00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:04,130 * I know you want a piece of that * 743 00:26:04,163 --> 00:26:05,832 * But I just wanna dance * 744 00:26:05,865 --> 00:26:07,834 * Ch-checkin' out my sweet hips * 745 00:26:07,867 --> 00:26:09,869 * My sugar-coated berry lips * 746 00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,638 * I know you want to get with this * 747 00:26:11,671 --> 00:26:12,972 * But I'm just here to dance * 748 00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:14,874 * So back 749 00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:16,876 * Up off of me 750 00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,845 * You're we-ee-ee-eirding 751 00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:20,112 * Me out 752 00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:22,248 * I'm an independent lady 753 00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,350 * So do not try to play me * 754 00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:25,885 * I run a tidy bakery 755 00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:27,720 * The boys all want my cake for free * 756 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,922 Does she know we went off the air two minutes ago? 757 00:26:29,956 --> 00:26:31,323 No, she does not. Smart move. 758 00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:33,125 * You served up the drama * 759 00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:34,994 * When I ordered your love * 760 00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:36,162 * But I don't need this 761 00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:38,064 * Where the hell's my limo * 762 00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,231 * Peace in the Middle East * 763 00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,267 (Ghostface Killah) We out.