- Previously on The Riches. - Travellers?
I-I don't think we know any Travellers.
You know, my buddies up in New York, they still don't think you people exist.
We're gonna have ourselves a wedding.
Our boy and your girl.
I am the new boss. He is the old boss.
- [ Bell Ringing ] - Get over it.
- [ Sam ] So where are we gonna go? - Life's a river, kid.
You gotta go where it takes you.
Come on!
You're in the wrong lane! Mick! Look out!
[ Linda ] Shit! Stop! Oh, my God!
I'm sorry.
The American dream. We're gonna steal it.
Dougie was looking for work... as a lawyer.
Ever done in-house?
Hi, Doug Rich.
[ Hugh ] Panco team, meet your new legal chief.
Dahlia, what are you doing here? I brought you lunch.
Isn't that what every good little housewife's supposed to do?
I'm guessin' you're good at a lot of things.
I could use someone like that around here.
I'll bet you could.
[ Bottle Clatters ]
Been there, done that.
So how do I find you?
[ Cael ] I'll pick you up. 8:00 tonight.
[ Ginny ] My being here means you're a dead man, Wayne Malloy.
I think Dale would be mighty interested in your address.
What do you want, Ginny Dannegan?
- Well, look who it is. - Uh, hi, everybody.
- Who is that? - This'd be Ken.
- Di Di's fiancé. - What?
[ Growling ] [ Man Narrating ] The African lion,
the second largest of feline species after the tiger,
hones in on its prey. [ Growling ]
- What is he doing? - Oh, he's watching an animal show with Sam.
You see, apparently retards really like animals.
He's not a retard. He's just kinda slow.
Cael, this is all your fault that he's even here in the first place.
I'm not the one who signed off on your bride price.
"I hereby offer my daughter, Delilah, in marriage to Kenneth Dannegan...
- in exchange for a bride price of zero dollars." - You're on clearance.
Shut up, Cael. This is not a joke. They could really hold us to this.
Ginny didn't give me much choice.
You had a choice. You could've told 'em to go to hell.
No, sweetheart. Then Ginny would rat us out, and Dale would find us. We had no choice.
I will figure this out. Just give me a couple of days.
[ Ken ] Y-You can watch now. That zebra's down for the count.
It ain't the lion's fault. He just needs to kill.
Why does he have to stay with us?
The fiancé always stays with the in-laws in the run-up to the wedding. It's tradition.
I'm not gonna marry him. It's tradition. That's all I'm saying.
Goes all the way back to the Middle Ages in Ireland.
You know? It's your heritage! [ Sighs ]
We should never have signed that bride price, Wayne.
Should've just killed Ginny.
If you just let me get through the arbitration tomorrow, I will deal with this.
- Arbi-what? - It's a legal term, Ken.
Well, I better learn it up if I'm gonna apprentice with you.
Oh, the son-in-law always apprentices with the father.
- It's tradition. - I can blacktop real good.
[ Can Opens ]
Look, Ken, this is a major corporation.
These are educated people. They-They have law degrees.
They got-- They got M.B.A.'s.
An M.B.A. is a master's degree in business administration.
You following me?
A degree is a level of l-- Oh, just forget it, all right?
I guess I could tarpaper the roof.
No, Ken, you nitwit, this is a multimillion-dollar lawsuit.
Nobody is tarpapering anything. You clear?
- You're not coming to work with me tomorrow. - That's not what Ginny said.
She said, uh, if-- if she gets mad,
she's gonna tell the cops about Mrs. Malloy violatin' her parole.
The word's "arbitration," Ken.
[ Slowly ] Arbitration.
- It means a polite argument. - You sure are pretty, Delilah.
[ Sam ] Ken, he's gonna eat a warthog.
[ Warthog Grunting, Lion Roars ] Oh, cool.
We can't let this thing go to trial.
This woman had her arm eaten by an alligator in her backyard.
She waves her stump at a jury, she could get 10 million bucks.
- What's the look? - I'm going to Panco tomorrow. I told you.
Oh, Jesus, Dahlia. Not tomorrow.
I got enough problems trying to get in there with Ken.
If-- [ Sighs ]
No, I just mean I really want to try and handle this,
settle it.
You know, arbitrate, like a real lawyer.
I'm actually kind of good at this--
negotiating, working the numbers, working the angles.
- But I could help you. - I got Aubrey for that.
I mean she's a paralegal. She's got a legal education.
I know what paralegal means!
Except I didn't go to school, Wayne.
I don't have a law degree or an M.B.A.
Did you hear yourself before, by the way?
What am I supposed to do while you are so busy workin' the numbers and the angles?
[ Mouths Word ] Sit at home and clip coupons?
You know, as it turns out,
I do not know what a paralegal is, Wayne.
And I don't care! Screw you!
You are turning into such an asshole, Wayne.
Like you never been in a street fight or two?
You got Traveller blood in you. Can't just walk away from that.
Can't just wake up in the morning and pretend to be somebody else,
like all your traditions don't matter to you no more.
You are spittin' in the face of our people, and there will be consequences.
That is superstitious bullshit.
Oh, no, baby. It's real.
'Cause let me tell you,
sooner or later, someone's gonna figure out who we are,
and when this ride ends, it's gonna crash and burn so hard it'll destroy us.
So you want to go for a ride? Okay.
But I'm goin' with you.
'Cause if it ends, ain't none of us ever gonna see each other again.
I have somethin' for ya.
Holy shit! Yeah, read the inscription.
"To Esther. Love, Frank."
Ginny and I stole it off an old lady in Jacksonville.
Ginny dressed up like a nurse and pretended to take her blood pressure.
Meantime, I snuck into her bedroom--
Oh. and picked her clean.
Money, jewelry-- I even stole her false teeth.
That's really touching, Ken.
I'd do anything for you, Delilah.
Thank you, Ken.
If-If anybody was ever gonna hurt you, I'd kill them.
Thanks, Ken. I really have a lot of homework to do.
Rem-Remember the night at Ginny's weddin'? We were all dancin'.
You were in a nightgown, dancing by the fire.
The light just lit up your hair.
You must have been almost nine, 10 years old.
That was the night I fell in love with you.
Yeah. Ken,
around here we call that pedophilia.
[ Chuckles ] You have such a big vocabulary.
- Good night, Ken. - Sweet dreams.
[ Birds Chirping ]
[ Gasps ] You been talking to my daddy?
He don't talk. He's been gettin' better, and you know it.
[ Sighs ] I heard he's been asking for you.
I heard Ken and Di Di are engaged. Is that true?
How did he find her?
Who says he did? I heard that Daddy wants him to lead the family...
until he can bring Wayne back.
Why would I care about that?
'Cause until Wayne comes back, you'd have all the power,
and it should be mine.
[ Laughs ]
Did you ever really think your daddy was gonna pick you?
Dale, you know what he thinks you are?
A sociopath.
You ever hear that word?
I heard it on a John Wayne Gacy special.
Means you got no conscience.
Means there's somethin' wrong with your soul.
[ Breathing Heavily ] Now, Earl feels real bad about it.
Blames himself. But it ain't his fault.
As far I can remember, you always been evil.
You used to rip the legs off frogs when you was a kid.
Then you'd burn 'em. [ Inhales ]
Go ahead, Dale. Slit my throat.
Wouldn't that be just like a sociopath?
[ Grunts ]
[ Clatters, Squeaks ]
[ Water Running ] [ Wayne ] Ken, once again.
You're my nephew. My name is Doug. Dahlia's name is Cherien.
What you are is an intern. I thought an intern was like a doctor,
except real good lookin' and on TV.
Don't say anything, honey. Okay? You just keep nice and quiet.
- [ Honking ] - School bus is here!
So I should call you Uncle Dan.
Just keep it zipped, for Christ sakes.
Say nothing, nada, silence.
Goddamn it. This is such bullshit. [ Horn Honks ]
[ Chattering ]
So, you're Doug's nephew from Jacksonville?
[ Wayne ] Look, I went over the Underwood files last night,
and I want to talk numbers with you, 'cause I think you got a problem.
Good, great. Yeah, Cherien!
Hi. You look like a million bucks.
Oh. Mmm. Welcome to Team Hugh.
Let me show you the ropes.
Hugh, we gotta settle this before it goes to trial, right?
It's import--
Ken, get up.
Want you to staple some things together.
Sure thing, Mr. Malloy. Dan. Shit.
Want to know a secret? I never had a personal assistant before.
My shrink said I should get one.
[ Laughs ] She said I can't take care of myself.
You want me to take care of you? My secretary couldn't.
That's why I fired her ass.
[ Clears Throat ] Anyway, uh, that's why you came here, isn't it?
Or did you come here so I could squeeze your tits again?
Oh, no. I want the 40 grand plus benefits.
Bullshit, Cherien. Your husband pulls down 200K a year.
You don't need money. I think you want to blow me.
Uh-- [ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ] Oh, Hugh.
You're right. I do.
I wanna blow you so bad.
Come on. Drop your pants.
[ Chuckles ] Come on. Drop your pants. Don't be shy.
'Cause I want to take a picture of your little ding-dong for my sexual harassment suit.
That way, I'm never gonna have to work again!
Jesus, you're a bitch. You want to tell me about that job now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick up my dry cleaning, fill out my insurance forms...
and find out how the hell Ducaine Med gets off chargin' $1,500 for a damn colonoscopy.
Well, I don't wanna do any of that either.
[ Chuckles ] All right. What do you wanna do, Cherien?
Mmm, I wanna "feng shooey" your office.
No wonder you're such a miserable bastard, man. You got no flow.
What's that supposed to mean?
Your chi. It's all out of whack.
I bet you got insomnia. Nightmares too.
How do you, uh-- How do you know about this feng shui?
Had some time on my hands past couple years.
I read a lot of Oprah magazines.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
You break anything, I'll wring your goddamn neck.
[ Door Closes ]
Oh.
Hugh, gotta talk to you about Underwood.
They're gonna be here in 10 minutes. Yeah, make her go away.
I think we should offer two million, take it or leave it.
What the hell you talkin' about?
That's one million less than the old lady got from McDonald's...
-when she was scalded by coffee. -And two million more than I'm gonna pay.
Hugh, this woman was gardening in her backyard.
An alligator grabbed her arm, dragged her into a reservoir.
She barely got out with her life.
So? Mmm!
[ Spits, Groans ]
I didn't create alligators. I'm not God, hmm?
No, but you got eight Fish and Wildlife citations...
warning you not to build on an alligator habitat.
So maybe she should have thought of that...
before she went outside and started all that reckless gardening.
Some people are morons, Doug.
Don't ever underestimate that.
Hartley Underwood is a conniving slut who got exactly what she deserved.
Well, that's a very good point, Hugh.
I really don't think a jury's gonna see it that way. I know.
- So, tank the bitch. - She got her arm ripped off.
How much more tanked do you want her? What do you want me to do, rip the other arm off?
You see? That's exactly what Stewart said, and Stewart is collecting unemployment.
I am not giving her one thin dime.
And if you can't make her go away, you can kiss your job good-bye.
Kimmie. Latte now!
So we got no dirt on Hartley Underwood?
No. We did a complete background check. Not even a speeding ticket.
But if there was dirt on her, she could have changed her name.
Go down to city hall. Get her marriage license.
Check for her maiden name, aliases, anything.
There's gotta be something.
[ Exhales ]
Let me just start by saying how truly, deeply,
profoundly sorry we are...
for this really terrible, unforeseen, devastating--
- Doug, I don't have time to shovel bullshit. - Absolutely. Neither do I.
In fact, I am keenly aware that time...
is the only thing that separates us from the wilderness.
I mean, hell, Ann, we are the wilderness, when you think about it.
Because-- 'Cause-- 'Cause man versus nature,
that really is a, uh, false dichotomy.
Oh, dichotomy, my ass. I nearly died. Look at my hospital file.
Jesus. God.
I don't think any of us wants this to come to trial, do we?
No, no. No, we don't.
So really, it's just a question of the amount of money we're gonna settle on.
I'm sure you've got a figure in mind.
Well, Ann, you-- you can't put a price on suffering.
No. But you can try.
Let's just each of us write down a number on a piece of paper and compare.
I think you'll find that our numbers are very close together.
In size or distance?
What the hell is this? That'd be a zero, Ann.
What possible justification can you have for offering my client nothin'?
I stapled my pants.
Would you excuse me for a moment?
Would you get the hell out of here? But I want to apprentice.
Go to my house. Apprentice there.
[ Aubrey Whispers ] Mr. Rich.
She changed her name from Mary Louise Blodgett.
The old Mary Louise got busted shoplifting, 1993.
Two thousand dollars' worth of items, mostly clothing.
You see how brilliant you are?
[ Susan ] Socio-what?
It means a person who ain't got a conscience.
[ Labored ] I didn't mean, uh-- It's okay, honey.
Don't you tire yourself out.
Maybe you was one of them socio things.
You were tough, even when you were a baby.
I swear, you once bit me so hard on the arm, the tears came.
You had such sharp teeth.
That's what your daddy was trying to say to you, ain't it, hon?
You're a survivor, Dale. And that's a good thing.
Is that what you think of me, Daddy?
You think I'm a sociopath?
You can't trust me to run the family?
- Can't help-- - The doctor said for you not to stress your vocal cords.
He was just trying to say he worries about you, that's all.
[ Earl Sighs ] Daddy,
all I want to know is--
is did you talk to Ginny Dannegan about who's gonna be the next leader?
All right, that's enough.
He's gonna get overexcited.
Now, who told you? So he did choose Wayne?
It was just they've always had this especial connection.
I-It wasn't personal.
Don't take it the wrong way, baby.
I-It's a real big burden being responsible for a whole family.
Don't feel bad at your daddy for-for not picking you.
Your special connection has always been with me.
[ Chattering ]
Oh, shit. Cops are at the door.
Turns out Mr. Griswold really was a coke dealer.
The cops busted him right in the college counseling office.
Now they're doing a sweep of the entire school.
How the hell we gonna flush the weed, huh?
Delilah.
Forgot your lunch.
- Thanks, Ken. - I seen you at Delilah's.
I'm Ken. I'm Di Di's--
Uncle. Uncle Ken... is my uncle.
Right. And Doug is my uncle.
And Doug is her dad.
So we're also brothers.
I guess our daddy married our-- his half sister.
[ Chuckles ]
I'm a-also her fiancé. Okay, Uncle Ken, can I talk to you for a second?
- Mm-mmm. - I think that boy thinks he is your boyfriend.
Ken, this is all part of our cover, okay? Aren't you supposed to be with my dad today?
He got a hair cross his fanny 'cause I messed up his stapler.
[ Di Di ] You know that this is all some big test, right?
S-See what you're made of. Is that so?
- Absolutely. - Well, I can pass any test he can set.
- You should do that. - See you at home, Di Di.
Okay.
Your uncle gave you this?
He got it from a vending machine at the halfway house.
- [ Laughing ] - What?
[ Cael ] Shit. Shit.
Oh, Ken. I realized that I forgot...
to thank you...
for-for bringing me my lunch.
It was very nice of you.
Okay, that's all.
I hope the sandwich didn't get too smushed. I think it'll be fine.
Well, bye.
See you, Di Di. Bye.
Uh, uh, not so fast.
Let's see that purse, little lady.
I'm short 800 bucks.
In my office. Now.
I want to know why you're really here.
Don't give me any of that cockamamie shit about feng shui.
What'd you really come here for?
I wanna screw you.
Oh, you do? Mm-hmm.
I want to see your arm. No, you don't. No, you want to get it on over by the moose!
Come on! Kimmie, get me the Ducaine Police.
- I want to report a robbery. - No, no. That's all right, Kimmie. I'll handle it.
[ Panting ]
What do you want?
Hmm? Pills?
Want me to hook you up with some Oxy?
Little meth?
Want to shoot up? Hmm?
Phew. Hard to ask, isn't it?
Sometimes that's the worst part-- how degraded you can get.
I want to know how you did it-- how you got clean.
'Cause you did, didn't you?
Tell me how you stopped usin'.
Oh, my God.
I get it. I get it.
[ Laughing ] Oh, God, you want-- You want to quit for Doug.
And you want me to help you.
Oh, ain't that romantic? [ Laughing ]
Don't you dare laugh at me! Oh!
Okay, okay, okay. Jesus. God. Was it A.A.?
Get your fingernails out of my balls!
Huh? You tell me how you got off pills!
I don't know. I don't know. You a lyin' son of a bitch!
God as my judge, I do not know.
It was the '90s. My dealer O.D.'d.
I just-- I stopped. I don't know.
Oh, God. [ Coughs ]
[ Panting, Groaning ]
Oh, you're the craziest bitch I ever met.
[ Hartley ] What does that mean, "We've all done things we regret"?
I just mean that everyone has things in their past that they wish were different.
For Panco, this could be some of our locations.
- For Mary Louise Blodgett, that could be felony grand theft. - What?
Oh, you know, one Gucci dress, one leopard print belt,
three bras, five pairs of ladies' underwear.
Mmm. And 627 dollars' worth of assorted sex toys.
Does that ring a bell or a buzzer, Ms. Blodgett?
You asshole. Give me that. Oh, no. That would be stealing.
I assume you're aware of your client's felony conviction in 1993...
- under the name of Mary Louise Blodgett. - That was 15 years ago.
So my client was a little light-fingered when she was younger. How is this relevant?
Just from my experience, it really affects how a jury sees you--
you know, uh, the peers in the community.
I was going through a really hard time. That was my first divorce.
And you must tell that to the judge.
When we go to trial, you gonna wear that suit?
Nice suit, looks good. Is that a thousand bucks or so?
Got the receipt?
Oh, I win a cookie.
You stole that jacket? Old habits die hard.
I lost my arm! An alligator dragged me into a swamp!
I am under a great deal of stress.
It is terrible when a client violates your trust, isn't it, Ann?
You goddamn lawyers are all alike.
This is a despicable tactic. You will not intimidate my client.
Just make it go away. I don't care what it takes.
Now, honey, you don't mean that. You're gettin' overemotional.
But I must say, we are prepared to discuss how to make it go away.
We'll be in touch when my client is feeling a little more rational.
Did I mention my prescription? [ Cael ] It's all right, Di. It's okay.
Shit.
[ Kisses, Laughs ]
You are a genius.
Who knew the gimp was a shoplifter?
Well, yeah. Don't get excited.
Uh, she'll want something. She'll be back.
Oh, who gives a rat's ass? Well, you do.
You said you weren't gonna give her one thin dime.
Oh, what? Are you nuts? I was just shittin' you, pal.
I got a paper trail comin' out of my ass on this thing.
I knew I was gonna be out a million easy.
It's just that I got a little cash flow problem right now.
I thought you were worth 150 million.
On paper.
Real money, housing market's in the toilet. I'm mortgaged to my eyeballs.
I was shittin' a brick I was gonna have to file Chapter 11.
But now, I got time to raise some funds.
Look at me. Look in my eyes.
You are the best goddamn lawyer I ever met.
[ Laughs ]
Hey, hey. Where the hell you think you're goin', little lady?
- Oh, this place ain't right for my employment needs. - Whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute.
Doug. Doug, if you don't mind, we're gonna have a little tête-à-tête.
Sure. Who the hell took my gold pen?
My grandmama gave me that pen when I graduated high school.
I can help you. Just so you know,
I'd never dream of mentioning that little incident to Doug.
It's just between you and me.
See, 'cause I'm guessin' that, uh-- that, uh--
Doug don't know you're still poppin' pills, does he?
You're a real bastard. No wonder you have nightmares.
[ Both Laugh ]
See there. See? Nothin' a little raise couldn't cure.
Give me a minute.
- You have a good meeting? - Knocked 'em down over a million.
She cried. She did?
Oh, baby. You're a real good lawyer, huh? Seems so.
You got her good. [ Chuckles ]
Oh, sorry to interrupt the romance.
Little petty cash. For?
Expenses.
Come on. I hear Johnnie Walker calling our name.
So, where shall we go? Club.
Uh, hi, Dan. D-Doug.
Hey, I'll come with you.
- And you might be? - Doug.
Your name is also Doug?
There can be more than one Doug.
Gulf War.
He was captured and shot.
- We take separate cars? - No problem.
I got a colonic later anyway.
I-I-I'll meet you at the club. God bless America, Doug.
Can I ask you a question, Mr. Malloy? Sure, Ken.
Were you a-a virgin when you married Mrs. Malloy?
Jesus.
Well, I take it you're still a virgin.
If you don't count self-pleasurin'.
I want to ask your professional opinion about something.
Can we get a body in here?
Sure.
Look. You're right.
Hey! Should I just wait in here?
[ Line Ringing ] [ Chattering ]
[ Buzzing ] [ Dahlia ] Yeah, I'm gonna take this one too.
You were right about it. Sure do make your titties look nice.
Uh, I guess I'll take all this too.
Will you give me one of them shirts in every color?
[ Buzzing Continues ] Oh, hell, I'll wear that.
Uh, you want me to put this on your credit card?
Oh, my boss is payin'.
I got me, uh, one of them expense accounts.
Wow. Yeah.
I should really change jobs.
These people don't give me jack shit.
Oh, um, you lost your pills.
[ Sniffs ]
You want 'em?
[ Chuckles ]
- [ Wayne ] There you go. - Thank you, sir.
Official membership form.
Once the paperwork clears, you're a member of Edenfalls Country Club.
Welcome to the world of social cachet and influence.
You're gonna make so many connections,
you won't even mind payin' 175,000.
$175,000? Take a second on the house.
That's what I did.
Welcome to the inside.
Wanna know a secret? I'm gonna tell you my secret.
Secret of my success.
Trust no one.
You gonna make it in this world, you gotta make it alone.
- I don't have a lot of friends. You got a lot of friends? - No, not really.
Yeah, me neither. I don't have any friends.
I'm a lonely mother.
Why do you think that is, Doug?
[ Clicks Tongue ] Probably 'cause you're an asshole.
Mmm. Mmm.
How come you don't have any friends, Doug?
I-I don't know.
Moved around a lot when I was a kid. Never got in the habit.
[ Sighs ] I feel you.
Trust anyone? No.
You trust Cherien?
Yes. Yes, I trust Cherien.
Lucky bastard.
I trusted my ex-wife.
Bitch poisoned my kids' minds against me. [ Buzzing ]
What's your secret, Doug? How do you keep your marriage from falling apart?
[ Line Ringing ] [ Sighs ]
[ Hugh ] Twelve of us, Doug.
So poor, I swear to God we only had one lightbulb.
You had to unscrew it and take it with you when you went into the next room.
Shit. I would lie awake at night,
my whole family asleep in the bunk beds,
and I'd have a vision of a day I'd be so rich...
I would never have to see any one of those filthy dickwads again.
I never told anybody that.
Everybody thinks I grew up rich.
My mother left me when I was four, after my dad died.
Let it out, man. Let it all out.
I never told anyone that. Let it all out! Come on.
- I tell everyone she's dead. - Well, she is dead, to you.
I was brought up by Jesuits and then bandits.
- A pack of bandits. - You ever think about your mom?
I don't know. Maybe she's here.
Maybe she's right here in Edenfalls.
Ever think about that? No.
Huh? No.
[ Buzzing ] [ Wayne Sighs ]
Doug Rich. [ Cael ] Dad, Di Di got arrested.
[ Man ] Is this the one you were after? [ Man #2 ] Yeah, that's the one.
After the first hour, I started to see colors, and then I saw a face of a lion.
I said I was sorry. Dad. Hey.
Where the hell you been? I've been calling you for hours.
I just think you could give me back the pen.
Think you owe me that. Just go over there and sit down.
- Okay, where is she? - They locked her in her cell. They wouldn't let us see her.
See the woman behind the desk?
Okay, she took Di's fingerprints.
They're gonna give her a permanent record, okay?
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. If they run her record through a database,
they're gonna come up with the real Doug Rich's license.
Okay, Doug Rich is all over the Internet.
You know how much time you can do for identity theft?
Vehicular manslaughter? Okay, Cael.
She will not get a permanent record. Parole violation.
Practicing law without a license. I said I will deal with this.
I don't want to go to a foster home.
You will not go to foster care. Okay, Sammy? I promise.
Nothing bad's gonna happen to you.
I'll never let them take you away.
Nobody is gonna split up this family. You hear?
What, are you-- Are you drunk? A little bit.
Shit, Dad. I will take care of this.
Are you the one that booked my daughter, ma'am?
'Cause I'm sure you're familiar...
with Malloy versus the State of Louisiana.
[ Buzzing ] Oh, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
[ Line Ringing ] ...in prohibition of-of marijuana use.
Hi. What do you want, baby?
What?
Are you all right? Mom's on her way.
Excuse me. When you were out there, did you see my husband?
- What'd you do? - Seven unpaid parking tickets.
No. Dad.
God forbid Richard should have to interrupt his conference call to bail his wife out of jail.
What a colossal dick. [ Whispering ] Dad.
I didn't know you smoked pot. It wasn't mine. It was Ken--
Some kid hid it on Ken and I had to take it from him...
because there's no way he could have done this without blowin' us all to hell.
So you threw yourself on the grenade?
Oh, baby girl. I'm so sorry.
I never wanted any of this to happen.
[ Sighs ] I love you so much.
Uh, I know that, Dad.
[ Sobbing ] I love you more than all the world.
[ Sobbing ]
All I want is for you to be able to do anything you want to do.
For the love of God, go find the bathroom and splash some water on your face.
Okay, honey.
I love you. I know.
Richard's never in his life told our girls he loves them.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sniffs ]
[ Woman ] Right in here, ma'am.
- He was a tall man. - Who was?
My assailant. The fellow who stole my purse.
Oh.
He-He was a tall, thin man. Dark hair.
Bushy eyebrows. Mmm, eyebrows.
Small eyes. Small.
Crooked teeth. Okay, hang on. Hang on.
Gotta get these in, you know? You want this to be good?
Was it sunny?
[ Chattering ]
Mom. Oh, hey, baby.
So Dad's here. He's filling out some paperwork.
Oh, shit. [ Woman ] Mrs. Rich?
Hello, Officer.
I can't tell you how sorry I am about all this.
I, uh-- I have the 800 cash...
for your clean and sober program.
And there is also a little somethin' in there for your police retirement fund.
Just-- Well, I'll take you to her.
I think she's learned her lesson.
And it seemed like he was kind of retarded.
Retarded? Why didn't you say he was retarded?
- [ Eraser Rubbing ] -It happened outside the station just 15 minutes ago.
Ken.
- Hey. - Oh, um--
The eyes are a bit weird. You have a go.
I got started.
[ Man ] His wife is here. She posted bail.
Time pass slow in there, don't it?
It's like it stands still.
Yeah. Yeah.
My friend Kay, she used to sing to me, make the time go.
You know what she'd sing? What?
* Jesus loves me This I know *
* For the Bible tells me so *
* Little things to him belong * [ Sniffling ]
* They are weak But he is strong **
[ Crying ] We'd look up,
and what do you know, five minutes'd be gone.
That's how you break the day up-- in little pieces like that.
[ Door Closes ] Well, I ain't heard that song since I was a little girl.
Paperwork's done.
Free as a bird. Not you.
Tell Richard I won't forget this.
[ Sobbing Quietly ] It's okay, baby.
Dad, where were you?
Where's Ken? He walked home about 15 minutes ago.
[ Sighs ] [ Woman ] You'll be glad to know...
we feel no need to put this on her permanent record.
You know, with you-all bein' so willing to enroll her in our program,
there's plenty of hope for her to be rehabilitated.
Well, thank you so much.
Mr. Rich seems a little stressed, if you don't mind my saying.
Thank you.
[ Slurred ] Baby-- [ Car Alarm Chirps ]
you were magnificent in there.
Totally smooth, calm. Above it all.
- Like a queen. - [ Panting ] I can't do this.
Ooh, I can't do this anymore.
I can't do this anymore. Hey, hey, hey.
Hey. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
[ Dahlia Crying ] [ Wayne Whispering ] Hey.
** [ Humming "Rock of Ages" ]
Honey, stop humming. [ Whispering ] Hey.
[ Man On TV ] Oh, that was wonderful.
Lars Mortenson and the Alpine Cloggers.
You know, we certainly can't get enough of the folk dances here.
Next up, the Briggs Sisters. Please don't go away.
Hey, Daddy. Hmm?
Nurse called, said she's gonna be a little late.
[ Labored Breathing ] What the hell are you watchin'?
Day nurse put this on?
Lame-ass polka shit.
You must be sick as hell of being cooped up in here all day.
You must be dyin' for some fresh air. [ Inhales Deeply ]
Oh, no, no. No, don't tire yourself out.
I got you.
It's cold tonight. Look at them stars, Daddy.
How come y'all can see the stars better when it's cold?
When I was a kid, I used to think that the stars were made of ice.
Do you remember that? We'd go camping.
You'd let me pretend we were Indians.
You gave us Indian names. You were Big Elk.
Remember what you used to call me?
That's right. I was Little Bear. [ Groans ]
Earl?
We'd set up our tent, and you'd tell me the stories about the Ridge Runner.
[ Shivering ]
Crazy Indian who lost his tribe,
and he would haunt these woods, scalpin' little boys.
And after you went to sleep,
I would lie there so scared. [ Crying ]
But I never made a sound.
'Cause I wanted you to think that I was so brave.
[ Sobs ] All I ever wanted to do was to make you proud, Daddy.
I'll always be your brave little Indian.
[ Bell Rings ]
[ Sobbing ]
I love you, Daddy.
And I will carry you in my heart till the day that I die.
[ Gasping ] Good-bye.
[ Gasping ] [ Ringing ]
[ Groaning, Crying ] [ Ringing ]
[ Crying ]
[ Bell Ringing ]