I'm Wayne Malloy. My family and I are Travellers.
Our kind has been living in this country for 150 years.
We're not listed in the phone book. We don't have Social Security numbers.
We live off the grid.
Some call us gypsies. Others call us thieves.
- Cael! - Most, though, don't even know we exist.
I've got three kids: a boy, a girl and, um--
My wife, Dahlia, is just out of jail on parole.
We took her home to the Traveller camp.
- Hey, Cousin. - The family gave her a warm welcome.
- Oh. - I, on the other hand, got a different type of welcome.
I am the new boss. He is the old boss.
- [ Bell Ringing ] - Get over it.
[ Wayne Narrating ] Sometimes it takes a beating to make you realize it's time to move on.
So where are we gonna go?
Life's a river, kid. You gotta go where it takes you.
[ Wayne Narrating ] So, with a loan from the family bank,
I packed up the R.V. and went out in search of something better.
- It's my goddamn birthstone. - It wasn't that long before the family tried to stop us.
You're in the wrong lane, asshole! Mick! Look out!
[ Linda ] Shit! Stop! Oh, my God, Mick!
[ Wayne Narrating ] Unfortunately, they stopped someone else instead.
And then they ran.
Knowing that we couldn't go back to our old home, we decided to visit their new home,
Edenfalls, as the Riches.
[ Hugh ] Welcome to Panco.
Doug Rich, meet your new team.
Panco team, meet your new legal chief.
Aubrey's a five-star paralegal. Wants to be a lawyer too.
She's the hardest worker I've got.
Would you like to take a stab at this? I am not a lawyer, Mr. Rich.
[ Nina ] The Rosemere Academy. 1,500 a month, 18,000 a year.
Our school is currently full, Mrs. Rich.
Ain't nobody gonna tell me I don't care about my kids.
- They're not gonna let us in. - Yeah, they will.
We can't leave her. Her bird is missing.
Ms. Fedley's an adult. I'm sure she can manage.
Just give me the bird. Okay. Yell, "Over here."
Over here!
I want to repay you. Oh, there's nothing you can do, Jane.
Um, Cherien?
I got the kids into Rosemere.
[ Dahlia ] You know those little pills you gave me yesterday?
I was just wonderin' if you just had, like, a few more.
Did you tell her where we are? Yeah, Di. I gave her the address 'cause I'm that dumb.
- So, how do I find you? - I'll pick you up. 8:00 tonight.
- [ No Audible Dialogue ] - [ Lighter Flicks ]
Hey. Look what I got.
Pink wine. Ah.
Kids okay?
Sam's asleep.
Di Di's screwin' around on guitar.
Cael must be out with that neighborhood kid, according to Di Di.
Cael's hanging out with buffers?
That's what she says.
** [ Background: Country ]
Shit.
How do you know you're pregnant?
I just know.
Tammy, I've been gone a week. What do you mean you just know?
It happened before that. Why didn't you tell me?
God, you're acting like you don't believe me.
I believe you, Tammy. I'm just--
[ Sighs ] No. You seem like you don't.
I'm trying to make sense of it.
Why else would I come all the way out here?
What if Dale comes after me?
He won't.
Never gonna know where we are, okay?
Come here. Come here.
[ Exhales ]
Wanna get outta here? No.
Wait. Um, tell me again about the swimming pool.
It's a... swimming pool.
It's heated. It's got a slide.
A slide, huh?
Why do you keep looking outside?
Who followed you? Dale?
Dale outside?
[ Exhales ]
You set me up. [ Laughs ]
Wow.
Shit.
Shit!
Why didn't you get that thing on a bun?
How many times I got to tell you, Ma?
White bread is worse for you than heroin.
[ Line Rings ] [ Woman ] 911. What's your emergency?
He's been gone a long time.
Maybe he's takin' a dump.
Car's still there.
He ain't gonna go no place without that car.
Somethin' is up.
Oh, shit.
[ Siren Blares ]
Shit.
Evenin', Officer. You from around here, son?
Uh, no, sir.
Just passin' through.
We got us a report of some unsavory activity goin' on around here.
Well, what kind of unsavory activity?
Prostitution. [ Laughs ]
[ Laughing ] She's my ma.
- I seen stranger. - I ain't no whore.
Son of a bitch. Hey, you watch your mouth, dickhead!
Spread 'em!
Oh. Well, now, what do we have here?
What name you goin' by today, son?
"Luther Ray"? "Bodie"? "Bud"?
There he goes, Dale.
Now we ain't gonna be able to follow him.
Shut up, Ma.
Are you, like, Armando? Does that work for ya?
That works for me. Thanks. That's a pretty good one.
Maybe them buffers got the right idea.
- They sure do have some strange pets though. - No shit.
Oh, baby, look.
Look at that. What happened?
Oh, it-- The mosquitoes.
Scratch myself raw.
I haven't noticed them so much lately. Oh, yeah.
Oh, come back, baby. Nah. I'm tired.
It's so nice out here. No. It's real hot.
Come and talk to me. Take a shower.
Dahlia?
[ Shower Running ] I'm gonna take a shower.
[ Glass Breaks ] [ Di Di ] Cael! Mom!
[ Panting ]
[ Jim ] Trixie!
Trixie, Trixie, Trix!
Someone stole her. Who would want her?
Wow. I didn't know this place was zoned for llamas.
Alpacas. If you got more than an acre, you can keep anything you want.
Jim chose alpacas.
They're the Cadillac of camelids, Doug.
Jim used to be an engineer.
So now you're-- An alpaca engineer.
Raising alpacas has allowed me to walk away from a corporate career...
and all the stress and bull crap that went along with it-- I love it.
So you breed them for their M-E-A-T?
Oh, God, no. This is an investment you can hug, Doug. [ Laughing ]
It's all about breeding stock. Alpacas are hot. Everyone wants one.
In three years, our alpaca portfolio has quadrupled in value.
On paper. In reality, old Hercules hasn't impregnated a single bitch.
[ Bleats ] And to think you paid $20,000 for him.
- Give him time. - Yeah, well, some fellas don't respond too well to pressure.
Exactly what I was saying.
[ Bleats ]
We haven't had sex in five years.
Really?
Well.
Nice mug. Thank you. I made it myself.
Is that a... eggplant?
Yeah.
Hmm.
[ Wayne ] Okay, here we go. One picture.
Just for the school guys. Just for the file. [ Di Di ] Dad, stop it.
Look at it. Look at it. Look up. Look up. That's gotta do.
Cael, will I ever get you to look up?
[ Camera Buzzes ] Thank you for the finger.
- This is a momentous day. - Monumentally lame.
You will never regret an education.
- Only the educated are free. - This isn't exactly free, Dad.
So, the deal is, I have to make a lunch for each of you every day?
- And a snack. - Or we could just buy lunch.
No. No, I can do this.
Little baggie. Little "sammie."
[ Sam Chuckles ] [ Cael ] You want a snack too, huh?
Bye, Mom. Bye, baby.
Don't call me "baby."
- Dad, put the camera down. We gotta go. - Make it a great day.
- Could you be more annoying? - I'm not annoying. I'm taking a photograph, a video.
Bad enough that he's goin' to school.
It's amazing that I can work this thing. Got that right.
Gotta go.
So, what are you gonna do today?
Being a buffer wife. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do here?
[ Di Di ] We're gonna be late for school.
Oh. You just don't want me to screw things up for you, do you, Wayne?
[ Sam ] Dad, we're gonna be late.
Bye. Have a great day.
Make a lot of money. [ Door Closes ]
[ Cell Phone Buzzing ]
[ Beeps ] Yeah?
[ Woman ] Who is this? You called me. What do you want?
Tell Doug I know where he lives.
No, there is no Doug. Okay?
There is no Doug. No.
You got the wrong number. You gotta stop calling here, okay?
I know-- You understand? Stop calling here.
There's no Doug! I--
Hi. Hi, Nina.
Can I come in? Well, sure, honey.
You cookin'?
Chicken tortilla soup. I'm makin' it for the party tomorrow.
Y'all are comin', aren't ya? Oh. Yeah.
Well, good, 'cause we Burnses throw a hell of a party.
How do you cook every day?
I mean, do you like it?
Well, we have to eat, don't we? [ Laughs ]
Oh.
[ Clears Throat ]
So, what's wrong, hon? Nothin'.
Uh-huh. It doesn't look like nothin' from here.
Well, Nina.
You know those little pills we like to share? Yeah.
Do you think people like us...
who like little pills like that...
have a little problem?
You-You mean, like a-- a drug problem?
Maybe. [ Laughs ]
[ Laughing ] Oh. Oh, honey.
That's not a drug problem.
Those are prescription pills.
'Cause sometimes...
I feel like I-I-- I really need some to get by.
Of course you do. We all do. Everybody needs somethin' to get by every now and then.
[ Sighs ] Alcee Stringer, down the street?
All she does is eat broccoli and exercise all day.
And, uh, Boyd Harrelson, uh, he's addicted to animal porn.
Wow.
We have to watch our alpacas at night. No?
And Gunnar Mowbray's wife left him...
for their best friends' 17-year-old son.
Oh, man. That's terrible. In her defense, he was a mature 17.
Oh. Anyway, what's a little pill or two?
I mean, life's hard, Dahlia.
We all just do the best we can.
Amen.
I always say, as long as nobody's toes get stepped on,
who gives a damn?
And Jim don't care? Jim?
[ Husky Voice ] Jim wouldn't notice if I had a sex-change operation.
[ Both Laughing ]
He's too busy with those shitty alpacas.
Ooh. Ooh, Nina.
White widow. Great shit.
Neighborhood kid sells it.
I love you, Nina.
I love you too.
[ Both Laughing ]
[ Buzzing ]
[ Man ] * Good-bye
* Little Robin-Marie
* Don't try [ Doorbell Ringing ]
* Followin' me
** [ Stops ] [ Knocking ]
Oh, no.
- Who is it? - Hi. We're the welcoming committee from Temple Beth El.
Y'all got the wrong house. I don't know anyone named Beth.
[ Woman ] May we come in? [ Whimpers ]
[ Mock Crying ]
Hi! I'm real busy right now.
We'll make it quick, hon.
[ Woman ] Ah. Come on. [ Dahlia ] Okay.
[ Door Closes ] [ Woman ] Oh.
Cherien! I'm Helen Water. We spoke on the phone.
I handled your membership.
- My membership? - For the temple.
- We got your check. - Oh. Right.
The temple. [ Laughs ]
We just wanted to fill you in,
give you a chance to join a havurah with the temple.
There are a lot of goyim around this area.
This is a great way to meet other Jewish families.
Jewish families?
Well, it's not Tampa, but there are upwards of 800 of us here.
We're Jewish!
[ Chuckles ] Yes, we know.
We're Jewish.
That's an interesting necklace, Cherien.
It looks like a cross.
Oh.
Well, actually,
you-you're lookin' at it sideways.
It's a "X."
You know? It's, like, one of them...
"'X' marks the Jew" necklaces from Wal-Mart.
[ Murmuring ]
- Wal-Mart? - Mmm.
Hmm? Okay.
Thank you for stoppin' by.
Okay. I gotta clean my house.
[ Dahlia ] Okay, bye-bye.
Oh, bye-bye. Bye-bye.
[ Woman ] "X" marks the Jew?
We are Jewish now.
Jesus.
Jew--
Morning, Tuesdays.
Kimmie. Good morning, Mr. Rich.
Love that color on you. Aubrey, how's it going?
Mr. Panetta just nixed my summer vacation.
Apparently I haven't served my full two years.
I just bought the tickets. Four days, five nights-- Costa Rica.
Right. He-He can do this? Why don't you ask him? He's in your office.
What's he doing in my office? I have no idea.
Hugh.
Doug. Bright and early.
Yep. Catchin' the worm. 'Fraid not. That worm's long gone.
I'm always in at 6:00.
So, Doug, got a little matter I need you to handle.
[ Clears Throat ] Little P.R. thing.
No big deal. Right up your alley.
- Panco sucks! - [ Crowd Clamoring ]
Where's the other lawyer?
[ All Clamoring ]
The other gentleman no longer works here-- for a reason.
I would like to say to you...
that Panco hears and understands your grievances,
and we're working to get a quick resolution to your concerns.
If you could now please disperse and go home, I think we could all--
This is all just another bunch of Panetta's bullshit!
[ Man ] No! Where is Panetta anyway?
Mr. Panetta is-- We've already told you how to resolve this.
Buy back our homes. That's the only resolution that works for us.
Buy back your homes? Why would we buy back your homes?
Because you knowingly built Halcyon Trails...
on the site of a former military practice-bombing range.
There's unexploded ordnance all over the place! Ordnance?
Bombs, rockets, charges, mines.
[ Woman ] Don't forget my dog.
Carol's dog went missing.
And all they found was a leash and an awfully suspicious crater out by her dog.
Sir, what is your name?
Martin Chambers, president of Homeowners Against Panco.
Ask Panetta. He knows my name really well.
Mr. Chambers, we are not interested...
in people or pets blowing up.
I mean-- I mean, we are completely against anyone blowing up.
I mean, even a little bit.
But you know, sometimes--
Sometimes in your life,
shit... just happens.
[ Woman ] What? You know? You know it does.
You're just going along living your own life,
living in your house, just minding your own business.
Suddenly-- kapow! Your whole life explodes.
Just like in-- Hmm.
Well, but then what are you gonna do?
You gonna give up?
You gonna just call it a day?
No. No, that's not what we do.
No. We rally.
We-- We turn it all around.
Because we're Americans.
We take those grenades and we turn 'em into lemonade.
Because that's what distinguishes us from sand crabs.
We keep going.
And I ask this of you...
because I ask nothing less of myself.
[ Mouthing Word ]
Thank you. Thank you for your time.
Hey, how'd it go? Swell.
How long have we been dealing with these people anyway?
They're all a bunch of nutcases. I'll back 'em down.
Thanks for covering. I can't stand that bitch whose dog blew up.
Hey, I just got off the phone with Jolinda's attorney.
- Jolinda? - Your ex-wife.
Apparently she plans to start garnishing your wages...
unless you make good on the payments.
How long you been holdin' out on her?
Oh. Um-- [ Murmurs ]
I get it, Doug. Believe me, I get it.
Got an ex-wife of my own.
Couple of 'em actually. [ Clears Throat ]
Nothin' I'd like more than to stiff 'em on alimony.
And child support.
But... I don't like trouble,
and I don't want anyone snoopin' around my business.
So... take care of that, won't you?
Oh, attorney didn't have your address,
but it's only a matter of time before he gets it.
My ex-wife.
They always find you.
What do you think...
that Fitzgerald was trying to say about society?
Eric.
Um-- I don't know.
- I-- I don't relate. - [ Laughs ] Well, that aside,
do you think that Fitzgerald was trying to present a positive portrait of the rich?
Okay, well, clearly, Fitzgerald was preoccupied...
with money and social status in all of his novels.
- [ Student Coughs ] - So, the question, people, is,
do you think that the Buchanans ever really accept Gatsby?
- Delilah, have you read this book? - It's Di Di.
Oh. And, yes.
But, no, I don't think that they ever accepted him,
because he wasn't born like them-- rich.
He had all that money and he threw all those parties,
but when it really comes down to it, people just wanna stick to their own kind.
Hmm. But Gatsby had money. Why wasn't he happy?
Well, all the money in the world couldn't buy what he really wanted--
the girl.
You know, money isn't everything.
I guess... he just never really figured that out.
[ Man ] Good.
Di Di, that's very good. Okay.
[ People Chattering ]
[ Whispering ] Aubrey. Aubrey.
I want you to do a little research for me.
I'm already working on the Halcyon Trail thing for you.
No, forget about that for the moment. This is important.
I want you to find out everything you can...
about this woman's divorce.
"Jolinda Rich." Who's she? Doug's ex-wife.
My ex-wife.
When I'm nervous, I refer to myself in the third person.
So I'm looking for Douglas Rich versus Jolinda Rich?
Yes. No.
Howard Douglas Rich versus Jolinda Rich.
Yes. Mm-hmm.
So am I looking for anything specific?
I mean, this was your divorce, right?
Yes, but it was traumatic,
so I've just, um, blanked everything out.
Whatever. Oh, and, Aubrey.
Aubrey. Also...
find out everything you can about this Pensacola divorce attorney.
"Randall Prutt III." Yeah. Everything you can.
Hey.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't report you to the cops for stealing my wheels.
I don't know what you're talking about. Is that a good reason?
I saw you return the car last night. Please.
Look. Wait-- Oh, you think you're hot shit, don't you?
So, hot shit,
can you break into anything else?
What'd you have in mind?
Ex-wife?
He has an ex-wife?
- No, it's not-- - It's over.
We are screwed! No, no. You're panicking.
I'm being realistic. We've gotta get outta here-- now.
Look, baby-- Don't touch me. I told you this would happen.
I told you this would happen!
That woman on the phone-- she knows where we are.
No, she doesn't. Yes, she does. She called today.
You told me not to answer the phone.
What's she gonna do when she shows up...
and she finds you impersonating her ex-husband...
and us living in this house, stealing all this stuff?
Calm down. I am not goin' back to prison!
No-- You are not going back to prison. That's right.
'Cause if anyone's goin' back to prison this time, it is gonna be you.
And that way, you get to feel what it's like to be scared and alone.
Is that why you started using?
Those tracks on your arms-- they're not mosquito bites, are they?
Don't you think we got bigger things to think about right now?
Like how come, once again, I listen to you...
and this is all turned to shit!
No. I wanna know if you're getting high. I want the truth.
You want the truth? Yeah.
The truth is I'm pretty sure I can't trust you anymore!
That is the truth. [ Zipper Zips ]
That is the goddamn truth.
Aubrey. [ On Cell Phone ] Yeah?
Tell Hugh I'll be unavailable today as I'll be in the field.
Where are you gonna be? You know the field?
Yeah. Well, I'll be in it.
You can reach me on the cell phone.
Where are you going? Don't even start.
You need me.
- How much you got there? - Seventeen grand.
Cash advance on some of Doug's plastic. What about the lawyer guy?
Well, Aubrey's done some research.
Seems he isn't exactly big potatoes.
Works out of an office in Pensacola. Works solo.
Member of the local turf club.
Got suspended once for some kind of financial impropriety.
- Gambler. - I think.
Still, I could be wrong.
I know.
Okay, I'm strugglin' here. Why do you want to break into the school?
Believe me, there's nothing here worth anything.
See, that's where you're wrong, man.
The school computers hold the key to our futures.
You get us inside that building, my buddy Lane here'll take care of the rest.
Got an alarm system? Yeah.
- Video surveillance? Motion sensors? - Hell, no.
Oh, shit. This is gonna be a piece of cake.
- How do you know all of this? - Prison.
Oh. Heh.
I'm not usin'.
Personally, I don't get these guys with money...
who think they can just walk away from their responsibilities.
But it makes us a good livin', don't it, Geoff?
[ British Accent ] It certainly helps pay for some of those trips to Tahiti.
[ Laughing ] [ British Accent ] Sorry I'm late, darling.
Sorry. How do you do?
- Randall Prutt, may I present Julia Gardner Jones? - Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Nice to meet you. So sorry about all this.
You buy a Maserati and what you don't know...
is how long it spends in the garage getting tuned up.
[ Chuckles ] What is it, a bloody cello?
[ All Laughing ]
Anyway, down to business. Now, the good news is--
is that our client has agreed to give Jolinda...
the sum total of his liquid assets,
which is here.
[ Exhales ] And how much would that be?
$17,000.
[ Laughs ] 17,000?
- Yeah. - The bastard owes 75,000.
[ Loses Accent ] Holy shit.
[ Regains Accent ] Randall.
I mean, this is a down payment, of course-- 17,000.
The rest to be paid in, um, six months or so.
Probably less time.
Last time I checked,
your client had a half a million dollars in assets.
Then it disappeared, along with Doug.
And the trail went cold.
So where's he hidin' the extra 483 grand?
Stocks? Real estate?
Are you implying that our client has some sort of secret investment?
[ Scoffing Laugh ] And how's he payin' you?
Or are you flyin' to Tahiti on your charm?
We are not at liberty to discuss this. This is a total violation--
The hell with attorney-client privilege.
I'm guessin' old Doug has socked his money away in some golden goose...
and you're gettin' the benefit of one or two eggs.
Oh, wow. That's the first time I've heard Royal Rhapsody referred to as a golden goose.
- Oops. - Darling.
Royal Rhapsody, huh? Is that a racehorse?
Uh, my-- Oh, my golly gosh.
We have to go. Do you see the time is--
We have to catch a flight to Monte Carlo.
I know a thing or two about horse racin', and--
Oh, well, horses are fine for a couple of thousand here or there.
[ Wayne ] Very sorry about this situation.
Call me on the mobile. We don't take off till 3:00.
[ Door Opens ] [ Wayne ] So sorry.
Thanks awfully.
[ Door Closes ]
[ Typing ]
[ Beeps ]
We just moved in.
It's very nice.
We-We haven't really had a chance to unpack or...
really do anything at all.
It's cool.
Oh, shit. It's almost 3:00.
What do we do now?
I mean, he don't have to dig very deep to find out we're full of shit.
Damn. I thought I could smell his greed.
Maybe your instincts are off, like last time.
The credit card scam was a bad idea.
I never liked it. I told you, and you didn't listen.
Because you're too busy being turned on by the risk.
It was no big deal. No, not until they busted me.
I trusted you. I trusted your instincts.
I don't know what I could do about that.
I cannot do anything about that. I can't give you the two years back!
I'm not talkin' about two years.
Screw them. I'm talkin' about right now...
and how you do not trust me at all.
Because you keep getting high and lying about it.
Oh, my God! Jesus!
You wanna go there? Do you?
I started using speed in prison.
And it turns out I really, really liked it.
I knew it was bad, but-- It wasn't that bad.
Prison wasn't that bad.
What was bad was the way I felt about you.
You have any idea what it is like...
to hate the person you love most in the world?
And all you can do to escape feelin' that way...
is gettin' amped.
This is part of who I am now--
no matter where we live,
no matter who I'm pretending to be.
I have not shot crystal meth since I left prison.
[ Cell Phone Ringing ] It's him.
Hello. [ Prutt ] Hey, it's me.
[ British Accent ] We're in the bloody plane.
[ Prutt Continues, Indistinct ]
** [ Guitars Strumming ] That's an "F"?
Mm-hmm.
A-minor. A-minor?
Weird, huh?
Alpacas. [ Scoffs ]
I'll be damned. I can only imagine what--
Can the shit, Julia. There are no secrets in the age of Google.
Royal Rhapsody is an alpaca.
Sold for $600,000 at auction in 2003.
Now his whole line is ready to breed.
What's your point, Randy?
What if I had a way to satisfy your fee...
and my client's judgment, in cash,
with even a little money left over for you guys to put in your pockets?
You're heroes. I'm a hero.
- Y'all spend a few extra weeks on the beach in Monte Carlo. - We're listening.
I can tell you guys aren't stupid.
So I'm assuming Doug's planning to pay you...
with a very special alpaca.
Hercules is worth more to us than a few weeks on the beach.
He's the last herd sire of his generation that Doug is willing to part with.
And he's not for sale. Everything's for sale. Everything's for sale.
See, uh, my wife, Charla, is a animal lover.
Now, her birthday is comin' up next month,
and I think she'd just love little ol' Hercules.
I'll give ya 80 g's.
You've gotta be joking. I mean, his stud fee alone is 5,000.
Per squirt.
And if the filly's feeling frisky and he gets off twice, it's double.
- 90,000 then. - He's not for sale.
I'd rather sell Julia.
Come on, folks. We all know this is the best way.
This way, we all get all fat.
And you know very well that if I come after your client,
you may not be able to hold on to that alpaca anyway.
Randall, you must be aware this is all highly unethical.
If anyone gets wind you've made this kind of proposal,
you could be--
- Disbarred. - Disbarred.
You mean we can all be disbarred,
which is why I'm not worried about it.
I know that you'll perform to the letter.
120 grand.
And that's it.
Only because... I love my wife.
Um, yeah.
You don't have to give her all of it.
What do we do when Prutt figures out that Hercules is shootin' blanks?
What's he gonna do, call the cops?
Be careful.
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
Oh, God damn it, Wayne.
[ Door Closes ]
I wish I could offer you more than money.
You can. I can?
I want an apology--
from him, in his own words.
Uh, that could be a little hard to get right now.
I won't accept this money without an apology.
He owes it to me.
Well--
I'll see if I can get him on the phone.
[ Ringing ] What are you doin'?
- Doug? Doug. - What are you doin'?
Doug, I'm sitting here with Jolinda.
Yeah, she's got the money, but she would like to talk to you.
- Are you crazy? - Yes.
I actually think this could help, Doug.
Well, I have no idea what you're talkin' about,
'cause there's no way she's gonna believe I'm Doug.
- He feels horrible. - What?
And he's deeply, deeply sorry. Bullshit.
[ Sighs ]
She's not buying it, Doug.
Well, the woman is pissed off.
I do not blame her, being married to that bastard.
- Ask me, I'm glad he's dead. - Okay, Doug, I hear you.
He says he has deep regrets.
And, uh,
that he was havin' a big ol' midlife crisis and--
He had a horrible midlife crisis.
He gained 80 pounds and lost all his hair.
He's gained a lot of weight and he's gone bald.
I don't give a shit about his hair.
Tell him our house was foreclosed on...
and my electricity was shut off.
His children spent a month in a homeless shelter.
How does he feel about that?
What an asshole.
Did you get that?
Oh.
Tell her he missed his kids more than he could bear.
He says... he missed his kids.
Well, he sure didn't act like it.
Tell her...
they're the only thing give his life meaning,
how most of the time...
he's not even really sure who he is anymore.
- Oh, Doug. - Tell her anything.
He says he-he's sorry he hurt you,
that you're the last person he wanted to hurt. [ Sniffles ]
[ Sobbing ]
- He's crying. - Crying?
- Like a baby. - [ Murmurs ]
I'm sorry, Doug. What was that? I-I didn't get that.
I didn't say anything, but--
[ Crying ]
I think Doug would wish it could be different.
I wish he woulda done it different,
and I think he would ask for forgiveness.
[ Crying ]
I think maybe we all need to be askin'...
for a little forgiveness right about now, baby.
I know.
I know. Ju--
Doug.
[ Crying ] I hate you!
But as much as I hate you,
I love our kids even more.
And I'm grateful for that.
[ Line Clicks ] [ Beeps ]
[ Sniffling ]
You're right...
about the credit card thing.
I wasn't thinking of anyone,
anything else.
I was turned on by the risk.
I'm sorry.
I am very, very sorry.
I'm sorry too.
[ Doug Sniffles ]
[ Cael ] Come on up.
Hey. Help me close the windows.
[ Boy ] Oh, shit. How we gonna get in now?
[ Lane ] Uh, break the glass?
[ Cael ] Now, now, children. Not to worry.
This is called "bumpin'."
It's fun time. Not bad.
[ Lane ] That works too.
[ Boy ] How freakin' cool is this? [ Lane ] Yeah.
** [ Background: Woman Singing Soft Jazz ] Hi.
[ Nina ] Oh! Jim, look, the Riches are here.
Oh! Let me get you a pomegranate martini.
They're wonderful. I've had three already.
So, Jim, how's engineering? Hey, neighbors.
You got here before we all take ecstasy and dive naked into the pool.
Seriously? It's happened.
Nuh-uh?
Well, excuse me, boys. I'm gonna go powder my nose.
Come on. I want you to meet some people.
Oh, I, um-- I've got something for you.
What's this? A little consolation prize.
I sold that dud alpaca of yours.
$25,000?
[ Bottle Clatters ]
Been there, done that.
Come on. Let's get a drink.
I'm surprised you'd show your face at the party...
after playin' hooky all day, buddy.
- Yeah, you got me, Hugh. - You're fired, Doug.
[ Laughs ] I'm just kiddin'.
[ Laughing ] See?
Come on. I need another drink.
Wow.
[ Typing ]
[ Beeps ] Okay, my man. You now have an A-minus in calculus.
Nice. [ Cael ] I wanna know somethin'.
What's so great about Princeton? It's Ivy League, man,
and about a million miles away from my dad.
Oh, hey, let's give Abby Vincent a "D" in trig.
She'll totally shit herself. Oh, for sure.
No, don't do that. It just calls attention to yourself.
You'll get caught.
- You two should go into business though. - [ Boy ] What do you mean?
Seems like a lot of kids would be looking for good grades.
Don't you think? You're a lot smarter than you look, my friend.
Thank you.
[ Man On TV ] ...they're having what they're calling an "ice cream sit-in."
It's not exactly what you think.
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
[ TV Shuts Off ]
[ Dahlia ] I'm beat.
You comin'? Yeah.
Oh, by the way,
we're Jewish.