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Previously on Dirt:
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- Ted.
- Ted?
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He's not the right one.
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I want to see you.
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I thought that maybe we could
do the press room together.
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Oh, don't take this the wrong way,
Sharlee, but we're done here.
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You've built an empire on nothing.
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You're welcome.
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Don, I need this.
Sharlee and Mia, that is it.
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Sorry, Lucy.
You know, there was nothing there.
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Give me the recorder.
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Don, give it to me.
She is not a person, she is a product.
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Oh, Don...
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I figured that after we slept together,
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the least I could do is give you
my personal email address.
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A little something
for all your efforts tonight.
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One of my assistants
just dropped it off.
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All right!
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Lucy, it's your mother.
Paul's birthday is coming up.
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I'm going in
for another touch-up this morning.
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I want the surgery to be his surprise,
you know. His little present.
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I'll be away for a few days,
and I'll be in a lot of pain,
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which should make you very happy.
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OK, well, I gotta go. Eduardo,
my Kundalini yoga master is here.
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Oh, and just so you know, I was younger
than you when I got my first touch-up.
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You should think about it.
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Hello.
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Holy shit.
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He looks like a very large Smurf.
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That can happen
when someone continues to breathe
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with little or no oxygen
entering the lungs.
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- OK, well, then what's with the...
- Erection?
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Suffocating must have really, really
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excited your friend... sexually.
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Then I can positively say that
that is Brent Barrow.
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Good morning, Lucy.
Gather everybody in the bullpen.
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OK.
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Hey, Perri Tatum, former sitcom queen,
Trim N' Fit spokesperson...
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- Love her. Go.
- According to my source
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at the ad agency
that handles Trim N' Fit...
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This sucks!
The copy, not your idea. Go ahead.
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Well, she's supposed to shoot her
quarterly weight loss photos.
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The only problem is that she's packed on
about 30 of the 80 pounds she lost.
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Loving it more. What's the story?
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Well, her people have contacted a
handful of doctors about Perri coming in
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for a little lipo, you know,
so it'll appear the diet's working.
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The problem is, Perri has a heart
condition that ups her chances of dying
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in surgery to, like, one in a hundred.
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So every doctor's turned her down except
for this one surgeon up in Ojai
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who's willing to do the surgery
if she signs a waiver.
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God, I love stupid celebrities.
It just makes my life so much easier.
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That's really good work. Don't
screw it up with your Harvard words.
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OK, everyone. Our publisher,
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Brent Barrow, is dead.
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- What?
- Oh, no!
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Yes. He passed out in his garage
while his car was running
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and died of carbon monoxide poisoning.
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There's a service on Thursday.
Kenny will email you the details.
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You're all expected to attend. Even
those of you who couldn't stand him.
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And we all know who we are.
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He literally partied himself to death.
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And you could really see it
sticking up through the body bag?
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Yes. Yes! It was horrible!
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It's too bad, because if he had ever
done anything else of note in his life,
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he'd be my next cover.
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So why is this bugging you so much?
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I don't know. Poor thing,
he just tried so hard.
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It was pathetic.
I mean, the guy died trying to fit in.
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You know what?
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When I first moved to Hollywood,
someone told me
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to be careful what you ask for
because you just might get it.
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I think he got what he asked for.
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I don't think you have
to be careful what you ask for.
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- You just have to be very specific.
- Oh, really?
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Yeah, OK.
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What?
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What are you thinking?
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Just thinking about
how beautiful you are.
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I'm sorry I'm obsessing on this.
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I should be obsessing about
the fact you're gonna do a movie
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with Claire Leland, the Black Widow.
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Well, she does want me.
And she's going to seduce me...
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I'm sure she's gonna try.
What are you gonna do?
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Hey, take it easy.
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I've been over the edge.
I'm not going back.
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- Oh, yeah?
- Besides, I already have one woman
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I can't handle. What the hell
am I gonna do with another one?
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So are you gonna keep talking...
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...or are you gonna give me
a reason not to succumb
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to Claire Leland's
little evil seduction?
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God, you're such a little shit.
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- Come here. Come here.
- Really?
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I swear, I won't do anything.
I swear, it would be good.
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I know, wouldn't it be good? Too bad.
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- I got it.
- No, I think that's mine.
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- No, it's mine. You kicked me!
- I'm sorry.
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Your foot smells dirty.
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It's mine. Farber.
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Yeah. Right now? All right.
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Jesus. Well, yeah, you know, of course.
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What?
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I hate to do this, but I have to leave.
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- Where?
- To help a friend. He's...
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- He's in trouble.
- Car trouble? Girlfriend trouble?
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The kind of trouble
with red flashing lights and sirens.
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- What did he get busted for?
- It's totally stupid.
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That's it? You're not even going
to tell me what this is really about?
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I just did. It's totally stupid.
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- OK.
- What? You don't believe me?
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No, I... No, no, no. I believe you.
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Yes. It's just...
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Nothing. Forget it. Just go. It's fine.
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If you're going to snoop, which I'm
guaranteed that you're going to now,
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you're not gonna find much.
But knock yourself out.
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- Thanks for bailing me out, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
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I'm kind of surprised you called me.
I mean, other than playing poker,
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it's not like we hang out.
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Yeah, well, no one else is around.
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It's White Party weekend.
So they're all down in Palm Springs.
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Actually, there's a reason I called you.
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You work for Dirt.
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You want me to write about this?
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Wait, how's this for a title:
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"Former Teen Heartthrob Busted
Barebacking Bartender in Bathroom."
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It was just a blow job, for chrissake!
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What do the cops think goes on
in a place called The Iron Fist anyway?
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How much trouble am I in, man?
I mean, is this going to get out?
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Well, yeah.
I mean, there's a police report.
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But not under my stage name.
You gotta help bury this, man.
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Keep it out of Dirt. I just landed
this role, first decent role I've had
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in seven years since the series ended.
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It's funded by this Christian group
that doesn't even know I'm gay.
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If this gets out, I'm out.
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I am flat broke, Farber.
I seriously need this paycheck.
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I'll do what I can.
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OK, once this paycheck comes in,
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screw these right wingers
or those 12 year old girls
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that ever had a crush on me.
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I will come out in Dirt. Your story.
Exclusive. OK?
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Hell, I'll probably
get a parade out of this
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- or something or a stupid reality show.
- Well... as soon as the check clears,
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because if my boss finds out about this,
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I'm gonna be the one bending over
and grabbing my ankles.
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Where'd you learn to eat? A barn?
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I'm sorry.
It's like a thousand degrees hot.
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I don't know why they serve it this way.
I usually have better manners,
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- table manners. My brother Jason...
- You know, it's OK, it's OK.
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Just slurp softer.
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- OK. I am sorry.
- I said it's OK.
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- No, about this.
- What are you...?
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Oh, my God, you people
have no boundaries! Stop it!
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Jeez!
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Lucy Spiller from Dirt Now magazine,
she knows about your surgery.
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If you go in for the lipo,
she's going to write about it.
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That's none of her business!
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As our lord and savior, God's son,
said on the cross,
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"It is finished."
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So our lord will welcome
Brent Barrow into heaven.
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And Brent Barrow is now feasting
at God's table.
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And we must feel a joy for Brent,
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because there will come a day
when we all
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will be feasting
at God's table with him.
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Now, if any of Brent's friends, family
or colleagues wish to say a few words,
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I encourage you to please stand
and speak from your heart.
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Are you off your medication?
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Brent... Barrow.
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Astute.
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Daring. Ambitious.
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- OK.
- So I kind of figured
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that you owed me for the other night.
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- Jesus. Here?
- Yes.
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A step ahead in a world where
most people are two steps behind.
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Many people find
these qualities abrasive.
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But I found, in Brent, a kindred spirit.
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Let God be his judge!
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Because if I hear of anyone
under my employ making judgments,
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you will be... terminated.
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Adieu, Brent Barrow.
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I will miss you, my friend.
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You know, if I thought
he wouldn't throw up on the rug,
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I'd invite him over for dinner.
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I'd invite him anyway.
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- If you don't mind me watching...
- God!
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...keep going.
You won't be the first ones.
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Jesus.
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00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,359
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
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00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,902
Yeah.
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00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,913
Hey, Lucy, your brother
has been on hold for 30 minutes.
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He says it's urgent.
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00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,501
Kenny, you'll learn that my
brother's entire life is urgent.
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00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,087
Unfortunately, none of it ever turns out
to be very important.
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OK.
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00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,178
Yeah.
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00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:09,432
Lucy? There was a problem
with Mom's plastic surgery.
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She died.
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00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,480
Lucy?
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00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,402
So was it important?
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00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,614
Yes, it was.
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00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,908
My mother's dead.
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00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,954
I'm sorry.
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00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,638
Well, what about if I sleep over?
I'll call Jason and he won't mind.
202
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,766
I'm OK, sweetie. Thank you.
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00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,643
I'm fine.
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00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,154
OK, I'm not.
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00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,490
Death...
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00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,993
I get it, it's guaranteed.
I understand that.
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00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,039
But why does it seem that everybody
is so oblivious to the fact
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00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,625
that they're swimming
in deep water until they drown?
209
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,169
Because we're stupid.
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00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,923
We all do stupid things, Lucy.
I have, you have.
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00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,885
We just don't think
they're going to kill us.
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00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:35,935
You know, about the Sharlee tape,
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00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,312
I'm... I'm sorry.
214
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,522
It's OK.
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00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,441
It's not OK.
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00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,777
It's just that... I'm glad to see
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00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,863
that you're healthy enough
to stand up to me.
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00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,953
All right, and I'll do...
If you need me...
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00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,997
Thank you.
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00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:59,959
Hey, your story on that singer
and her extreme sport boyfriend,
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00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,962
all true according to TMZ.
They have a video of some stripper
222
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,715
- giving him a pretty racy lap dance.
- That's perfect.
223
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,925
See if we can get some stills
for the article.
224
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,814
Mitchell Bianchi.
225
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,785
Detective Ortiz?
Hi, it's Willa McPherson.
226
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,330
Did you like the champagne? Great!
227
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:41,542
Listen, I'm trying to track an
arrest sheet for a Mitchell Bianchi.
228
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,586
Very early Wednesday morning.
229
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,923
Yeah. Still the same fax number.
230
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,351
Hey, how's the shoot going?
231
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,562
Lucy, I'm so sorry
to hear about your mom.
232
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,525
I'm kind of sorry that I had
to hear it from my publicist.
233
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,152
I'm sorry. I...
234
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:11,697
You're working and I just...
I didn't want to bother you.
235
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,825
Come on, Lucy, you can't bullshit me.
236
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,120
All right... Holt,
I don't want to talk about this, OK?
237
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,457
So... let me just get
through the next couple of days.
238
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,418
All right, well, I'm gonna come
back to LA as soon as we wrap tonight.
239
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,921
- All right? So...
- No. This is not the way
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00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,714
I want people to find out about us.
241
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,556
- Hello?
- I'm here.
242
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:41,185
All right, I don't need you angry
with me right now. Not over this.
243
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,772
Let me just figure this out on my own.
244
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:50,027
Well... you know what most people do?
245
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,530
They lean on each other.
246
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,157
It's called being in a relationship.
247
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:57,159
Well, you're not most people, Holt.
248
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,330
I don't even think I am anymore.
So let me just
249
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,083
deal here and you focus
on making a great movie.
250
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,753
I don't function
well inside this box, Lucy.
251
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:09,755
I know.
252
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,675
I'll call you, OK? Bye.
253
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:20,891
Holy shit! I used
to kiss your poster every night.
254
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,856
"Giving oral assistance
to another male in a public restroom"?
255
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,734
I guess my fantasy of us
having a big wedding and lots of babies
256
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,527
is sort of not happening.
257
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,450
So these are some
of Mom's favorite outfits
258
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:42,705
and she loved yellow roses, so I
ordered an arrangement from you and me.
259
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,292
Lucy?
260
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:51,297
Her favorite outfits
and yellow roses. I'm here.
261
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,675
- Paul wrote a poem for the memorial.
- A poem?
262
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,636
Six verses.
263
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,221
Gotta say something
for the senior shack-up.
264
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,266
Do you wanna say anything
at the memorial?
265
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,977
No, I've said enough.
266
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,730
She loved you.
267
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,399
That wasn't the issue.
268
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,276
We didn't like each other.
269
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,905
No, go with the heels.
270
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,158
What am I saying? She's in a box.
271
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,494
I just wish there was something
we could have done to stop her.
272
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:25,831
Leo, plastic surgery was her opiate.
No one could have stopped her.
273
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,001
You know the one thing
I know Mom would have wanted
274
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,796
was to look great in her casket
to make her friends envious.
275
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,757
- Yes.
- But with the botched surgery...
276
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,893
What's for lunch, Perri?
277
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,437
I'd like to eat in peace, guys.
278
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,189
Come on. What's on the menu?
279
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:55,111
A turkey hot dog. OK?
It's on my diet for chrissake.
280
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,738
- Come on!
- Take a big bite! Big bite!
281
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,199
- Come on, Perri!
- Come on, Perri!
282
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,494
- Give us a show!
- Stand up!
283
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,833
Oh, yeah, baby! Yeah!
284
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:12,712
I am fat! OK, so what?!
285
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,840
- Like it!
- This what you want?! You got it!
286
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:22,138
How about these? Big titties!
That turn you boys on?!
287
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:27,518
Don't wanna miss my belly!
Come on, get Tatum's fat belly!
288
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:32,481
Know what? Now it's my turn to shoot!
289
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,737
Run, you parasites!
Can't outrun the fat girl?!
290
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,905
How pathetic are you!?
291
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,750
Oh, shit.
292
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,710
Oh, shit. What did I do?
293
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:59,550
You just became
the patron saint of celebrities.
294
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,640
After placing the implants,
we will enlarge both areolas,
295
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,601
making sure that they are symmetrical.
296
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:12,062
Excuse me, I'm in the middle
of a consultation!
297
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,856
Your tits are fine.
298
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,150
Could you wait outside?
299
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,528
- Who are you?
- I'm Lucy Spiller.
300
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,364
- You killed my mother!
- I didn't kill her.
301
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,241
She had internal bleeding
from scar tissue.
302
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,661
Scar tissue from too many surgeries.
Surgeries you performed, doctor.
303
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,539
- I'm calling the police.
- You ought to call your lawyer.
304
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,541
You can't...
305
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:36,420
I can. And the ensuing article will not
only cover the three people who died
306
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,047
from your surgeries
over the last 17 years,
307
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,217
but also how you're a devoted family man
and an elder
308
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,927
at your Hillcrest Presbyterian Church,
309
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:46,013
while you keep a junkie mistress
in the Marina.
310
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,641
I'm sorry about your mother,
but I could not have known...
311
00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,768
I haven't even gotten to the best part.
312
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,647
- What's this?
- This is your patient list.
313
00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:57,358
It's a who's who
and the surgeries they've had done.
314
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,902
Wow, that's gonna make for great copy,
isn't it?
315
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:03,697
I mean, it's gonna kill your business
but man, am I gonna sell some magazines.
316
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:08,452
What do you want?
Free plastic surgery for life?
317
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:12,456
Hello! You just killed my mother!
318
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,751
- Can you believe this guy?
- Unbelievable.
319
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:19,672
Dr. Sandburn, if you want
to keep off the cover of my magazine,
320
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,966
you are going to make
my mother look better in death
321
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,677
- than she ever did in life.
- I'm not a mortician.
322
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:28,597
You're right, you're better.
So cancel your Botox and your butt lifts
323
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,892
for the next couple of days,
because my mother's memorial is Friday,
324
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,352
and it's open casket.
325
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:37,523
Oh, and by the way, from now on,
you're gonna be my go-to guy
326
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:40,192
- for stars and what they have done.
- Yeah.
327
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:41,986
I'll call you.
328
00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:44,363
Leo, be a man. Punch him.
329
00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:53,122
Sorry.
330
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:00,421
Sharlee! Give us a shot!
331
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:06,969
- Hey, Sharlee, what'd you buy?
- Just some stuff for the baby.
332
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,305
Move! Guys, please move.
333
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,473
Hi, Don.
334
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,147
How about a family photo?
335
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,192
Come on, turn around!
336
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,323
Move!
337
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:30,743
- Get out of my face!
- Come on, Sharlee.
338
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,786
Move! Get the hell out of my way!
339
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,123
Don't leave us so early, Sharlee.
340
00:23:39,335 --> 00:23:42,379
It's OK, baby Romy,
we're gonna get home in a second.
341
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,423
OK.
342
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,342
Come on, Sharlee.
343
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:50,763
- I hate this shit! Move!
- Hey! Your stroller, sweet cheeks.
344
00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:53,933
Sharlee, come on! Stay with us!
345
00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:56,852
Shit! Stupid door!
346
00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:01,690
Get out of my face!
347
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:04,526
- Damn it!
- Sharlee, your car's rolling!
348
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,656
- The door's locked. Romy!
- Mom!
349
00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:11,158
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
350
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:13,577
Please! Move!
351
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:16,705
Open the door! Help me!
352
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:19,875
Romy! Romy!
353
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:24,546
Romy! Can you help me? Romy!
354
00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,840
Oh, my God, somebody please help!
355
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,342
Oh, my God!
356
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,429
Stop! Romy!
357
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,069
Romy!
358
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:53,659
Are you OK? Are you OK?
359
00:24:58,205 --> 00:24:59,873
Are you OK?
360
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,627
Thank you, Don.
361
00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:11,093
I'm sorry I didn't get the shot, Lucy,
362
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:15,097
but the truck was rolling down the hill
and the baby was crying.
363
00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:17,057
Don, you did a great thing. Seriously.
364
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,684
I mean, just don't
ever let it happen again.
365
00:25:18,809 --> 00:25:21,103
Hey! There you are.
OK, I just got this from my source
366
00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:23,939
at the emergency call center.
It's gold!
367
00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:26,900
911 emergency operator,
name and location, please?
368
00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:31,780
Perri Tatum. 714 Sky View Dr.
In the Palisades. I need an ambulance!
369
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:33,824
What seems to be the problem, ma'am?
370
00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:38,037
I was trying to do this colonic
and now I'm lying here in shit!
371
00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:42,499
And I can't get this tube out of my...
Just get me a goddamn ambulance!
372
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:47,129
Un-shittin'-believable!
And I mean that literally.
373
00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:50,299
The woman hates herself so much,
she tore herself a new asshole.
374
00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,051
Go get a picture
of Perri in the hospital.
375
00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:53,844
You go with him,
get her side of the story.
376
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,138
What, are you a bobble-head? Go!
377
00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,563
Hi, Carol, this is Lucy Spiller.
378
00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:08,067
I need some shots of Sharlee
from the grocery store today.
379
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,694
Yes, the ones that everyone wants.
380
00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:14,448
Did you also get some
of Don saving that kid?
381
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:17,034
OK, great. Throw those in, too.
382
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,620
Yeah. It's a nice thing he did,
I want to give him a gift.
383
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,497
OK, thank you.
384
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:34,510
- Hello, there.
- Hi.
385
00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:40,432
- How did you get in here?
- It's my job.
386
00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:44,061
Before you do that, Ms. Tatum,
we have a copy of your call to 911.
387
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:49,108
OK, but listen, Dirt Now magazine wants
your side of the story, exclusively.
388
00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:57,074
You run that 911 call, people
are gonna think I have shit for brains.
389
00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,243
Not after hearing the tape.
390
00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:02,204
They won't think you have an ounce
of shit in you, much less brains.
391
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:05,415
You parasites like kicking people
when they're down.
392
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,837
We're offering you an opportunity
to kick back, if you'll take it.
393
00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:13,799
I've seen Lucy Spiller.
394
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:17,594
What does she weigh?
About a 100 pounds wet?
395
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:20,848
Give or take.
396
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:25,394
You tell her, she screws me over,
397
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:30,941
I will hunt her skinny ass down
and I will crush her like a grape.
398
00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:35,696
I'll happily pass along the message.
So you'll talk?
399
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:38,699
Ask.
400
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:44,788
- Mitch Stanton.
- Not stopping me from having to pee.
401
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,874
You know, the ex-teen star
from My Dad's The Maid.
402
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:49,835
He just got busted having oral
in the bathroom of a gay bar.
403
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,547
Because that's never happened. Unless
he was blowing a senator, who cares?
404
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:55,507
Well, he just got
the lead in God's Warrior,
405
00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:58,051
a movie being produced
by Evangelical Films,
406
00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,679
you know, the Christian movie company.
407
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:04,016
- I like the irony, but still...
- Could you just read it?
408
00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:05,893
- Now?
- Yeah.
409
00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:10,647
Don't come with me.
We're not girlfriends.
410
00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:17,279
All right. I'll run it.
411
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:21,450
- In the back of the book.
- Figures.
412
00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:26,371
Wait for me, my love, wait for me
413
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:30,292
Until we finally mate celestially
414
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,295
We'll make heaven as hot
415
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:36,298
As hell might wish to be
416
00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:38,467
And when we then embrace
417
00:28:38,634 --> 00:28:41,345
Our spirits free
418
00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:45,766
We'll blend and mix and merge
419
00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:48,018
Ephemerally
420
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:51,355
And then at last we'll know
Sweet Dorothy
421
00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:55,859
The meaning of eternal ecstasy
422
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:59,112
If deaths come in threes,
I hope he's next.
423
00:29:00,197 --> 00:29:02,491
I should talk to Paul.
424
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:06,286
I'm sorry.
425
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:11,208
You didn't have to come.
426
00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:14,294
No, I love you, Lucy.
And I don't mind dead people.
427
00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:19,424
Lucy, your mother was a wonderful woman.
428
00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:23,470
Generous with her time and talents.
And such a blithe spirit.
429
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,181
- Thank you.
- One question, darling.
430
00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:30,227
Who did your mother? We all agree,
she looks ten years younger.
431
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:34,856
- She died on his table.
- Oh, it's tragic. Really.
432
00:29:34,940 --> 00:29:38,777
But if she had to go,
at least she went looking her best.
433
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:44,491
I can't believe I was raised
by such a selfish woman.
434
00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:48,745
Just... I resent that.
I really resent it.
435
00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:50,706
She just had so many insecurities.
436
00:29:50,831 --> 00:29:52,874
Well, we all have insecurities, Lucy.
437
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:56,211
- Don, hers killed her.
- OK.
438
00:29:57,254 --> 00:29:59,548
And I always thought
that one day I would have the chance
439
00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:03,051
to become friends with her,
to make some sort of peace.
440
00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,887
And now you can't do that.
441
00:30:06,888 --> 00:30:08,390
I know.
442
00:30:09,683 --> 00:30:12,644
Yeah, we all need someone
who's got our back.
443
00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,856
Thank God I have you.
444
00:30:17,691 --> 00:30:18,942
Always, Lucy.
445
00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,070
And I have you.
446
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:27,576
But you need someone other than me
you can share your life with.
447
00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:31,455
You have somebody in mind?
448
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:35,000
See? See, I like it when you smile.
449
00:30:35,125 --> 00:30:37,919
It makes me believe
that everything's gonna be all right.
450
00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:41,423
Well, I also smile when I
wanna rip somebody's head off.
451
00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,259
Yeah, but I believe everything's
good when you do that, too.
452
00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:41,108
Hey, this is Holt.
Leave a message.
453
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:45,987
Hi. I was just...
454
00:31:46,113 --> 00:31:47,739
...wanting to call you.
455
00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:50,867
OK, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
456
00:31:50,992 --> 00:31:52,494
Bye.
457
00:31:56,832 --> 00:31:58,542
Oh, Don.
458
00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:03,338
Sweet.
459
00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:09,594
I gotta thank you. I just learned
a valuable lesson in who to trust.
460
00:32:09,678 --> 00:32:10,804
You would've done the same thing.
461
00:32:10,887 --> 00:32:13,140
No. I would not
have done the same thing.
462
00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:16,685
If I had known you were going
to bail out your little gay friend,
463
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:20,897
I wouldn't have. What's the big secret,
anyway? I mean, next time, try honesty.
464
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,691
You didn't just say that.
465
00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:24,860
Look, I've been with guys
that keep secrets from me,
466
00:32:24,985 --> 00:32:27,195
and it always ends up in one place:
me getting screwed over.
467
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,239
Yeah, well, now you know why.
468
00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:34,119
This runs now, and it's worth nothing.
OK? Mitch will get dumped from the movie
469
00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:36,496
- and then he's a non-story.
- Well, he should've worried about that
470
00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:39,207
before he knobbed some bartender
in a toilet.
471
00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:41,710
All I'm asking is that you wait
until the movie is shot.
472
00:32:41,835 --> 00:32:44,921
And then he's gonna come out in the
magazine. I mean, that is a cover.
473
00:32:45,046 --> 00:32:47,340
It stings getting scooped
by your girlfriend, doesn't it?
474
00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:52,888
Willa stole this story
by sticking a knife in my back.
475
00:32:53,138 --> 00:32:57,142
Well, take it out and get back to work.
Trust me, knife wounds heal.
476
00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:10,447
Yes, but how much
in Euros are we talking?
477
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,492
Twenty-two million? Close it.
478
00:33:15,785 --> 00:33:16,953
Sorry.
479
00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,831
I'm buying a place
next to Clooney in Italy.
480
00:33:20,582 --> 00:33:22,918
I don't mean to take you away
from your busy day.
481
00:33:23,043 --> 00:33:27,756
I wanted to tell you how sorry
I am about your mother.
482
00:33:28,924 --> 00:33:31,593
- Well, you sent flowers.
- I did?
483
00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:35,722
Well, I wanted you
to hear it from my lips.
484
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:38,308
Thank you.
485
00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:40,185
While I was at Brent's...
486
00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:44,898
...collecting some things I left there,
487
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:48,902
I discovered a collection
of homemade sex tapes.
488
00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:51,238
You know, it doesn't surprise me.
489
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:54,783
Granted, his system isn't
as sophisticated as mine.
490
00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,785
I have a multi-camera system
in my bedroom.
491
00:33:57,118 --> 00:34:00,789
The quality of Brent's is crude,
but slyly effective.
492
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:03,458
OK. And?
493
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,051
I didn't view it.
494
00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:14,803
Out of respect.
495
00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:20,016
- Respect?
- You don't believe me?
496
00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,269
No, I believe you.
497
00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:24,479
Because this is bullshit.
498
00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:27,148
Come on, Barrow and me?
499
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:30,151
Give me some credit.
I wouldn't bang him with your dick.
500
00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,206
Willa with a wig.
501
00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:46,501
Wow, that girl never ceases to surprise.
502
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,340
Can I have the rest of those tapes?
503
00:34:53,508 --> 00:34:54,509
Just for safekeeping.
504
00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:59,514
I'll have one of my assistants
drop them off.
505
00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:07,188
Well, McPherson, I hope it was
as good for you as it was for me.
506
00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:16,865
I have a copy of Brent's autopsy.
507
00:35:17,866 --> 00:35:20,368
As Lucy said, he died
of carbon monoxide poisoning.
508
00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:23,830
But the list of drugs in his system
is pretty startling.
509
00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:27,876
If... if anybody's interested.
510
00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:37,636
Mitch.
511
00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:40,722
- Oh, my God!
- You lying sack of shit!
512
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:43,975
I lost the movie! I don't even
have enough money to pay my own rent!
513
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,269
- Man, I didn't...
- Somehow, someway,
514
00:35:46,645 --> 00:35:49,564
- I'm going to return this favor.
- Look, Mitch, stop it! Stop it!
515
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:52,567
Farber didn't write
the story about you, I did.
516
00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:56,071
We had a thing, and I found out about
you, I ran with it. It's not his...
517
00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:59,115
So what? So what?
What am I supposed to do?
518
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,368
Not hate Farber now?
Is that what you want?
519
00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:04,663
OK. I don't hate him anymore.
Feel better?
520
00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:09,376
I just think he's pathetic
for hosing a heartless bitch like you.
521
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:38,697
- How are you?
- OK.
522
00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:41,282
I got to be back to set tomorrow,
523
00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:44,244
but I kind of got the feeling
you needed me here tonight.
524
00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:47,455
- That's sweet.
- No, but wait a second.
525
00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:49,582
Before you let me in...
526
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,543
...know something...
527
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,589
Look, as soon
as I'm done with this movie,
528
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,259
Julia, or no Julia...
529
00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,846
...I'm going public
with this relationship.
530
00:37:04,806 --> 00:37:06,099
So you have an option.
531
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,476
You have to make a decision here.
532
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:12,063
If you don't let me in...
533
00:37:15,316 --> 00:37:18,236
...that's gonna be the end of us.
All right?
534
00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:21,406
I'm not gonna be happy about it,
but I'll understand.
535
00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:23,116
So...
536
00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:26,786
...but if you do let me in...
537
00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:30,957
...we can't hide this anymore.
538
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:34,669
We can't. I can't do that.
539
00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:42,343
So you gotta make the decision here.
You gotta figure it out.
540
00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,071
Can I get you anything?
541
00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:04,199
No, I think I'm good.
542
00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:16,961
I want to introduce you to somebody.
543
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:24,052
Holt, this is my mom.
Mom, this is Holt.
544
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:34,437
It's nice to meet you finally,
Mrs. Weston.
545
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,484
I just want you to know
that I have every intention
546
00:38:39,609 --> 00:38:42,403
of taking full advantage
of your daughter tonight.
547
00:38:43,404 --> 00:38:45,365
So, if there's any objections...
548
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:48,827
...let me know, all right?
549
00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:55,708
Give us a second here.
Let the woman speak. Thank you.
550
00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:03,216
Thank you. I appreciate that.
551
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:05,718
She loves me.
552
00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:08,596
She does. I don't know what to tell you,
but she does.
553
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,017
She approves, too.