1 00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,585 Previously on Dirt: 2 00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,295 - Ted. - Ted? 3 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,256 He's not the right one. 4 00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:08,550 I want to see you. 5 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,683 I thought that maybe we could do the press room together. 6 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:21,522 Oh, don't take this the wrong way, Sharlee, but we're done here. 7 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:24,191 You've built an empire on nothing. 8 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,151 You're welcome. 9 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,279 Don, I need this. Sharlee and Mia, that is it. 10 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,949 Sorry, Lucy. You know, there was nothing there. 11 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,408 Give me the recorder. 12 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:38,497 Don, give it to me. She is not a person, she is a product. 13 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,627 Oh, Don... 14 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,338 I figured that after we slept together, 15 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,466 the least I could do is give you my personal email address. 16 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:56,306 A little something for all your efforts tonight. 17 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,268 One of my assistants just dropped it off. 18 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,610 All right! 19 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,340 Lucy, it's your mother. Paul's birthday is coming up. 20 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,551 I'm going in for another touch-up this morning. 21 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:36,430 I want the surgery to be his surprise, you know. His little present. 22 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,474 I'll be away for a few days, and I'll be in a lot of pain, 23 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,352 which should make you very happy. 24 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:47,858 OK, well, I gotta go. Eduardo, my Kundalini yoga master is here. 25 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:51,862 Oh, and just so you know, I was younger than you when I got my first touch-up. 26 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,864 You should think about it. 27 00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,535 Hello. 28 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,581 Holy shit. 29 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,224 He looks like a very large Smurf. 30 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:24,603 That can happen when someone continues to breathe 31 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:28,857 with little or no oxygen entering the lungs. 32 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:33,070 - OK, well, then what's with the... - Erection? 33 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:38,575 Suffocating must have really, really 34 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,329 excited your friend... sexually. 35 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,958 Then I can positively say that that is Brent Barrow. 36 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,478 Good morning, Lucy. Gather everybody in the bullpen. 37 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,604 OK. 38 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:12,776 Hey, Perri Tatum, former sitcom queen, Trim N' Fit spokesperson... 39 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,611 - Love her. Go. - According to my source 40 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,697 at the ad agency that handles Trim N' Fit... 41 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,491 This sucks! The copy, not your idea. Go ahead. 42 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,952 Well, she's supposed to shoot her quarterly weight loss photos. 43 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:25,330 The only problem is that she's packed on about 30 of the 80 pounds she lost. 44 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,417 Loving it more. What's the story? 45 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:31,461 Well, her people have contacted a handful of doctors about Perri coming in 46 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,131 for a little lipo, you know, so it'll appear the diet's working. 47 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,300 The problem is, Perri has a heart condition that ups her chances of dying 48 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,553 in surgery to, like, one in a hundred. 49 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:43,348 So every doctor's turned her down except for this one surgeon up in Ojai 50 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,143 who's willing to do the surgery if she signs a waiver. 51 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:50,230 God, I love stupid celebrities. It just makes my life so much easier. 52 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,316 That's really good work. Don't screw it up with your Harvard words. 53 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:57,028 OK, everyone. Our publisher, 54 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,489 Brent Barrow, is dead. 55 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:00,741 - What? - Oh, no! 56 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:04,786 Yes. He passed out in his garage while his car was running 57 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,247 and died of carbon monoxide poisoning. 58 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,542 There's a service on Thursday. Kenny will email you the details. 59 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:14,004 You're all expected to attend. Even those of you who couldn't stand him. 60 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,881 And we all know who we are. 61 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,232 He literally partied himself to death. 62 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,861 And you could really see it sticking up through the body bag? 63 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,740 Yes. Yes! It was horrible! 64 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:47,871 It's too bad, because if he had ever done anything else of note in his life, 65 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,539 he'd be my next cover. 66 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,333 So why is this bugging you so much? 67 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:55,295 I don't know. Poor thing, he just tried so hard. 68 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,049 It was pathetic. I mean, the guy died trying to fit in. 69 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,719 You know what? 70 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,222 When I first moved to Hollywood, someone told me 71 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,725 to be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. 72 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,229 I think he got what he asked for. 73 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,481 I don't think you have to be careful what you ask for. 74 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,983 - You just have to be very specific. - Oh, really? 75 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,944 Yeah, OK. 76 00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,695 What? 77 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,865 What are you thinking? 78 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:29,329 Just thinking about how beautiful you are. 79 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,585 I'm sorry I'm obsessing on this. 80 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,129 I should be obsessing about the fact you're gonna do a movie 81 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,715 with Claire Leland, the Black Widow. 82 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,468 Well, she does want me. And she's going to seduce me... 83 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,554 I'm sure she's gonna try. What are you gonna do? 84 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,472 Hey, take it easy. 85 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,433 I've been over the edge. I'm not going back. 86 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,186 - Oh, yeah? - Besides, I already have one woman 87 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,939 I can't handle. What the hell am I gonna do with another one? 88 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,650 So are you gonna keep talking... 89 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,654 ...or are you gonna give me a reason not to succumb 90 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,073 to Claire Leland's little evil seduction? 91 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,367 God, you're such a little shit. 92 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,452 - Come here. Come here. - Really? 93 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:12,038 I swear, I won't do anything. I swear, it would be good. 94 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,291 I know, wouldn't it be good? Too bad. 95 00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,428 - I got it. - No, I think that's mine. 96 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,763 - No, it's mine. You kicked me! - I'm sorry. 97 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,140 Your foot smells dirty. 98 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,476 It's mine. Farber. 99 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,148 Yeah. Right now? All right. 100 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,400 Jesus. Well, yeah, you know, of course. 101 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,156 What? 102 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:49,618 I hate to do this, but I have to leave. 103 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,037 - Where? - To help a friend. He's... 104 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:56,499 - He's in trouble. - Car trouble? Girlfriend trouble? 105 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,668 The kind of trouble with red flashing lights and sirens. 106 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:02,756 - What did he get busted for? - It's totally stupid. 107 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:07,844 That's it? You're not even going to tell me what this is really about? 108 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,930 I just did. It's totally stupid. 109 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,768 - OK. - What? You don't believe me? 110 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,520 No, I... No, no, no. I believe you. 111 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:20,190 Yes. It's just... 112 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,860 Nothing. Forget it. Just go. It's fine. 113 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:38,249 If you're going to snoop, which I'm guaranteed that you're going to now, 114 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,002 you're not gonna find much. But knock yourself out. 115 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,970 - Thanks for bailing me out, man. - Yeah, yeah. 116 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,430 I'm kind of surprised you called me. I mean, other than playing poker, 117 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,724 it's not like we hang out. 118 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,601 Yeah, well, no one else is around. 119 00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:02,065 It's White Party weekend. So they're all down in Palm Springs. 120 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,948 Actually, there's a reason I called you. 121 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,284 You work for Dirt. 122 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,328 You want me to write about this? 123 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,664 Wait, how's this for a title: 124 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,292 "Former Teen Heartthrob Busted Barebacking Bartender in Bathroom." 125 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,420 It was just a blow job, for chrissake! 126 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,757 What do the cops think goes on in a place called The Iron Fist anyway? 127 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:34,097 How much trouble am I in, man? I mean, is this going to get out? 128 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,684 Well, yeah. I mean, there's a police report. 129 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,855 But not under my stage name. You gotta help bury this, man. 130 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:46,109 Keep it out of Dirt. I just landed this role, first decent role I've had 131 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:49,237 in seven years since the series ended. 132 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:54,034 It's funded by this Christian group that doesn't even know I'm gay. 133 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,870 If this gets out, I'm out. 134 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:02,250 I am flat broke, Farber. I seriously need this paycheck. 135 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,586 I'll do what I can. 136 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,506 OK, once this paycheck comes in, 137 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:11,760 screw these right wingers or those 12 year old girls 138 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,803 that ever had a crush on me. 139 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:18,433 I will come out in Dirt. Your story. Exclusive. OK? 140 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,477 Hell, I'll probably get a parade out of this 141 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:24,439 - or something or a stupid reality show. - Well... as soon as the check clears, 142 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,983 because if my boss finds out about this, 143 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,736 I'm gonna be the one bending over and grabbing my ankles. 144 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,022 Where'd you learn to eat? A barn? 145 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,442 I'm sorry. It's like a thousand degrees hot. 146 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:14,197 I don't know why they serve it this way. I usually have better manners, 147 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,616 - table manners. My brother Jason... - You know, it's OK, it's OK. 148 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,910 Just slurp softer. 149 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,872 - OK. I am sorry. - I said it's OK. 150 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,999 - No, about this. - What are you...? 151 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:29,129 Oh, my God, you people have no boundaries! Stop it! 152 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,714 Jeez! 153 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,468 Lucy Spiller from Dirt Now magazine, she knows about your surgery. 154 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,388 If you go in for the lipo, she's going to write about it. 155 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,473 That's none of her business! 156 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:50,567 As our lord and savior, God's son, said on the cross, 157 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,111 "It is finished." 158 00:10:55,572 --> 00:11:00,702 So our lord will welcome Brent Barrow into heaven. 159 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,122 And Brent Barrow is now feasting at God's table. 160 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:07,375 And we must feel a joy for Brent, 161 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,004 because there will come a day when we all 162 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:14,007 will be feasting at God's table with him. 163 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:21,264 Now, if any of Brent's friends, family or colleagues wish to say a few words, 164 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:25,143 I encourage you to please stand and speak from your heart. 165 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,395 Are you off your medication? 166 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:43,661 Brent... Barrow. 167 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:46,956 Astute. 168 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,710 Daring. Ambitious. 169 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,424 - OK. - So I kind of figured 170 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,301 that you owed me for the other night. 171 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,429 - Jesus. Here? - Yes. 172 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:12,273 A step ahead in a world where most people are two steps behind. 173 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:16,903 Many people find these qualities abrasive. 174 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:23,201 But I found, in Brent, a kindred spirit. 175 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:28,665 Let God be his judge! 176 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:33,294 Because if I hear of anyone under my employ making judgments, 177 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,965 you will be... terminated. 178 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,729 Adieu, Brent Barrow. 179 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,401 I will miss you, my friend. 180 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,087 You know, if I thought he wouldn't throw up on the rug, 181 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,172 I'd invite him over for dinner. 182 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,174 I'd invite him anyway. 183 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,096 - If you don't mind me watching... - God! 184 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,725 ...keep going. You won't be the first ones. 185 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,895 Jesus. 186 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,359 - Yeah. - Yeah? 187 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,902 Yeah. 188 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,913 Hey, Lucy, your brother has been on hold for 30 minutes. 189 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,498 He says it's urgent. 190 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,501 Kenny, you'll learn that my brother's entire life is urgent. 191 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,087 Unfortunately, none of it ever turns out to be very important. 192 00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,630 OK. 193 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,178 Yeah. 194 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:09,432 Lucy? There was a problem with Mom's plastic surgery. 195 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,393 She died. 196 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,480 Lucy? 197 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,402 So was it important? 198 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,614 Yes, it was. 199 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,908 My mother's dead. 200 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,954 I'm sorry. 201 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,638 Well, what about if I sleep over? I'll call Jason and he won't mind. 202 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,766 I'm OK, sweetie. Thank you. 203 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,643 I'm fine. 204 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,154 OK, I'm not. 205 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,490 Death... 206 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,993 I get it, it's guaranteed. I understand that. 207 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,039 But why does it seem that everybody is so oblivious to the fact 208 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,625 that they're swimming in deep water until they drown? 209 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,169 Because we're stupid. 210 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,923 We all do stupid things, Lucy. I have, you have. 211 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,885 We just don't think they're going to kill us. 212 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:35,935 You know, about the Sharlee tape, 213 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,312 I'm... I'm sorry. 214 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,522 It's OK. 215 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,441 It's not OK. 216 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,777 It's just that... I'm glad to see 217 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,863 that you're healthy enough to stand up to me. 218 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,953 All right, and I'll do... If you need me... 219 00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,997 Thank you. 220 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:59,959 Hey, your story on that singer and her extreme sport boyfriend, 221 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,962 all true according to TMZ. They have a video of some stripper 222 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,715 - giving him a pretty racy lap dance. - That's perfect. 223 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,925 See if we can get some stills for the article. 224 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,814 Mitchell Bianchi. 225 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,785 Detective Ortiz? Hi, it's Willa McPherson. 226 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,330 Did you like the champagne? Great! 227 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:41,542 Listen, I'm trying to track an arrest sheet for a Mitchell Bianchi. 228 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,586 Very early Wednesday morning. 229 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,923 Yeah. Still the same fax number. 230 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,351 Hey, how's the shoot going? 231 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,562 Lucy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. 232 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,525 I'm kind of sorry that I had to hear it from my publicist. 233 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,152 I'm sorry. I... 234 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:11,697 You're working and I just... I didn't want to bother you. 235 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,825 Come on, Lucy, you can't bullshit me. 236 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,120 All right... Holt, I don't want to talk about this, OK? 237 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,457 So... let me just get through the next couple of days. 238 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,418 All right, well, I'm gonna come back to LA as soon as we wrap tonight. 239 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,921 - All right? So... - No. This is not the way 240 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,714 I want people to find out about us. 241 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,556 - Hello? - I'm here. 242 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:41,185 All right, I don't need you angry with me right now. Not over this. 243 00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,772 Let me just figure this out on my own. 244 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:50,027 Well... you know what most people do? 245 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,530 They lean on each other. 246 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,157 It's called being in a relationship. 247 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:57,159 Well, you're not most people, Holt. 248 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,330 I don't even think I am anymore. So let me just 249 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,083 deal here and you focus on making a great movie. 250 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,753 I don't function well inside this box, Lucy. 251 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:09,755 I know. 252 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,675 I'll call you, OK? Bye. 253 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:20,891 Holy shit! I used to kiss your poster every night. 254 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,856 "Giving oral assistance to another male in a public restroom"? 255 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,734 I guess my fantasy of us having a big wedding and lots of babies 256 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,527 is sort of not happening. 257 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,450 So these are some of Mom's favorite outfits 258 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:42,705 and she loved yellow roses, so I ordered an arrangement from you and me. 259 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,292 Lucy? 260 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:51,297 Her favorite outfits and yellow roses. I'm here. 261 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,675 - Paul wrote a poem for the memorial. - A poem? 262 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,636 Six verses. 263 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,221 Gotta say something for the senior shack-up. 264 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,266 Do you wanna say anything at the memorial? 265 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,977 No, I've said enough. 266 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,730 She loved you. 267 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,399 That wasn't the issue. 268 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,276 We didn't like each other. 269 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,905 No, go with the heels. 270 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,158 What am I saying? She's in a box. 271 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,494 I just wish there was something we could have done to stop her. 272 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:25,831 Leo, plastic surgery was her opiate. No one could have stopped her. 273 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,001 You know the one thing I know Mom would have wanted 274 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,796 was to look great in her casket to make her friends envious. 275 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,757 - Yes. - But with the botched surgery... 276 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,893 What's for lunch, Perri? 277 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,437 I'd like to eat in peace, guys. 278 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:50,189 Come on. What's on the menu? 279 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:55,111 A turkey hot dog. OK? It's on my diet for chrissake. 280 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,738 - Come on! - Take a big bite! Big bite! 281 00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,199 - Come on, Perri! - Come on, Perri! 282 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,494 - Give us a show! - Stand up! 283 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,833 Oh, yeah, baby! Yeah! 284 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:12,712 I am fat! OK, so what?! 285 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,840 - Like it! - This what you want?! You got it! 286 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:22,138 How about these? Big titties! That turn you boys on?! 287 00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:27,518 Don't wanna miss my belly! Come on, get Tatum's fat belly! 288 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:32,481 Know what? Now it's my turn to shoot! 289 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,737 Run, you parasites! Can't outrun the fat girl?! 290 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,905 How pathetic are you!? 291 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,750 Oh, shit. 292 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,710 Oh, shit. What did I do? 293 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:59,550 You just became the patron saint of celebrities. 294 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,640 After placing the implants, we will enlarge both areolas, 295 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,601 making sure that they are symmetrical. 296 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:12,062 Excuse me, I'm in the middle of a consultation! 297 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,856 Your tits are fine. 298 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,150 Could you wait outside? 299 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,528 - Who are you? - I'm Lucy Spiller. 300 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:22,364 - You killed my mother! - I didn't kill her. 301 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,241 She had internal bleeding from scar tissue. 302 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,661 Scar tissue from too many surgeries. Surgeries you performed, doctor. 303 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,539 - I'm calling the police. - You ought to call your lawyer. 304 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,541 You can't... 305 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:36,420 I can. And the ensuing article will not only cover the three people who died 306 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,047 from your surgeries over the last 17 years, 307 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,217 but also how you're a devoted family man and an elder 308 00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,927 at your Hillcrest Presbyterian Church, 309 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:46,013 while you keep a junkie mistress in the Marina. 310 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,641 I'm sorry about your mother, but I could not have known... 311 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,768 I haven't even gotten to the best part. 312 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,647 - What's this? - This is your patient list. 313 00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:57,358 It's a who's who and the surgeries they've had done. 314 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,902 Wow, that's gonna make for great copy, isn't it? 315 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:03,697 I mean, it's gonna kill your business but man, am I gonna sell some magazines. 316 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:08,452 What do you want? Free plastic surgery for life? 317 00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:12,456 Hello! You just killed my mother! 318 00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,751 - Can you believe this guy? - Unbelievable. 319 00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:19,672 Dr. Sandburn, if you want to keep off the cover of my magazine, 320 00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,966 you are going to make my mother look better in death 321 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,677 - than she ever did in life. - I'm not a mortician. 322 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:28,597 You're right, you're better. So cancel your Botox and your butt lifts 323 00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,892 for the next couple of days, because my mother's memorial is Friday, 324 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,352 and it's open casket. 325 00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:37,523 Oh, and by the way, from now on, you're gonna be my go-to guy 326 00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:40,192 - for stars and what they have done. - Yeah. 327 00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:41,986 I'll call you. 328 00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:44,363 Leo, be a man. Punch him. 329 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:53,122 Sorry. 330 00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:00,421 Sharlee! Give us a shot! 331 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:06,969 - Hey, Sharlee, what'd you buy? - Just some stuff for the baby. 332 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,305 Move! Guys, please move. 333 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,473 Hi, Don. 334 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,147 How about a family photo? 335 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,192 Come on, turn around! 336 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,323 Move! 337 00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:30,743 - Get out of my face! - Come on, Sharlee. 338 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,786 Move! Get the hell out of my way! 339 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,123 Don't leave us so early, Sharlee. 340 00:23:39,335 --> 00:23:42,379 It's OK, baby Romy, we're gonna get home in a second. 341 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,423 OK. 342 00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,342 Come on, Sharlee. 343 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:50,763 - I hate this shit! Move! - Hey! Your stroller, sweet cheeks. 344 00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:53,933 Sharlee, come on! Stay with us! 345 00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:56,852 Shit! Stupid door! 346 00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:01,690 Get out of my face! 347 00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:04,526 - Damn it! - Sharlee, your car's rolling! 348 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,656 - The door's locked. Romy! - Mom! 349 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:11,158 Oh, my God, oh, my God! 350 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:13,577 Please! Move! 351 00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:16,705 Open the door! Help me! 352 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:19,875 Romy! Romy! 353 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:24,546 Romy! Can you help me? Romy! 354 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,840 Oh, my God, somebody please help! 355 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,342 Oh, my God! 356 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,429 Stop! Romy! 357 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,069 Romy! 358 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:53,659 Are you OK? Are you OK? 359 00:24:58,205 --> 00:24:59,873 Are you OK? 360 00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:03,627 Thank you, Don. 361 00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:11,093 I'm sorry I didn't get the shot, Lucy, 362 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:15,097 but the truck was rolling down the hill and the baby was crying. 363 00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:17,057 Don, you did a great thing. Seriously. 364 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,684 I mean, just don't ever let it happen again. 365 00:25:18,809 --> 00:25:21,103 Hey! There you are. OK, I just got this from my source 366 00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:23,939 at the emergency call center. It's gold! 367 00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:26,900 911 emergency operator, name and location, please? 368 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:31,780 Perri Tatum. 714 Sky View Dr. In the Palisades. I need an ambulance! 369 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:33,824 What seems to be the problem, ma'am? 370 00:25:33,949 --> 00:25:38,037 I was trying to do this colonic and now I'm lying here in shit! 371 00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:42,499 And I can't get this tube out of my... Just get me a goddamn ambulance! 372 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:47,129 Un-shittin'-believable! And I mean that literally. 373 00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:50,299 The woman hates herself so much, she tore herself a new asshole. 374 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,051 Go get a picture of Perri in the hospital. 375 00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:53,844 You go with him, get her side of the story. 376 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,138 What, are you a bobble-head? Go! 377 00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,563 Hi, Carol, this is Lucy Spiller. 378 00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:08,067 I need some shots of Sharlee from the grocery store today. 379 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,694 Yes, the ones that everyone wants. 380 00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:14,448 Did you also get some of Don saving that kid? 381 00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:17,034 OK, great. Throw those in, too. 382 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,620 Yeah. It's a nice thing he did, I want to give him a gift. 383 00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,497 OK, thank you. 384 00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:34,510 - Hello, there. - Hi. 385 00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:40,432 - How did you get in here? - It's my job. 386 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:44,061 Before you do that, Ms. Tatum, we have a copy of your call to 911. 387 00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:49,108 OK, but listen, Dirt Now magazine wants your side of the story, exclusively. 388 00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:57,074 You run that 911 call, people are gonna think I have shit for brains. 389 00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,243 Not after hearing the tape. 390 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:02,204 They won't think you have an ounce of shit in you, much less brains. 391 00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:05,415 You parasites like kicking people when they're down. 392 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,837 We're offering you an opportunity to kick back, if you'll take it. 393 00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:13,799 I've seen Lucy Spiller. 394 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:17,594 What does she weigh? About a 100 pounds wet? 395 00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:20,848 Give or take. 396 00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:25,394 You tell her, she screws me over, 397 00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:30,941 I will hunt her skinny ass down and I will crush her like a grape. 398 00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:35,696 I'll happily pass along the message. So you'll talk? 399 00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:38,699 Ask. 400 00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:44,788 - Mitch Stanton. - Not stopping me from having to pee. 401 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,874 You know, the ex-teen star from My Dad's The Maid. 402 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:49,835 He just got busted having oral in the bathroom of a gay bar. 403 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,547 Because that's never happened. Unless he was blowing a senator, who cares? 404 00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:55,507 Well, he just got the lead in God's Warrior, 405 00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:58,051 a movie being produced by Evangelical Films, 406 00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,679 you know, the Christian movie company. 407 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:04,016 - I like the irony, but still... - Could you just read it? 408 00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:05,893 - Now? - Yeah. 409 00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:10,647 Don't come with me. We're not girlfriends. 410 00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:17,279 All right. I'll run it. 411 00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:21,450 - In the back of the book. - Figures. 412 00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:26,371 Wait for me, my love, wait for me 413 00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:30,292 Until we finally mate celestially 414 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,295 We'll make heaven as hot 415 00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:36,298 As hell might wish to be 416 00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:38,467 And when we then embrace 417 00:28:38,634 --> 00:28:41,345 Our spirits free 418 00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:45,766 We'll blend and mix and merge 419 00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:48,018 Ephemerally 420 00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:51,355 And then at last we'll know Sweet Dorothy 421 00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:55,859 The meaning of eternal ecstasy 422 00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:59,112 If deaths come in threes, I hope he's next. 423 00:29:00,197 --> 00:29:02,491 I should talk to Paul. 424 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:06,286 I'm sorry. 425 00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:11,208 You didn't have to come. 426 00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:14,294 No, I love you, Lucy. And I don't mind dead people. 427 00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:19,424 Lucy, your mother was a wonderful woman. 428 00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:23,470 Generous with her time and talents. And such a blithe spirit. 429 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,181 - Thank you. - One question, darling. 430 00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:30,227 Who did your mother? We all agree, she looks ten years younger. 431 00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:34,856 - She died on his table. - Oh, it's tragic. Really. 432 00:29:34,940 --> 00:29:38,777 But if she had to go, at least she went looking her best. 433 00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:44,491 I can't believe I was raised by such a selfish woman. 434 00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:48,745 Just... I resent that. I really resent it. 435 00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:50,706 She just had so many insecurities. 436 00:29:50,831 --> 00:29:52,874 Well, we all have insecurities, Lucy. 437 00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:56,211 - Don, hers killed her. - OK. 438 00:29:57,254 --> 00:29:59,548 And I always thought that one day I would have the chance 439 00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:03,051 to become friends with her, to make some sort of peace. 440 00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,887 And now you can't do that. 441 00:30:06,888 --> 00:30:08,390 I know. 442 00:30:09,683 --> 00:30:12,644 Yeah, we all need someone who's got our back. 443 00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,856 Thank God I have you. 444 00:30:17,691 --> 00:30:18,942 Always, Lucy. 445 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,070 And I have you. 446 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:27,576 But you need someone other than me you can share your life with. 447 00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:31,455 You have somebody in mind? 448 00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:35,000 See? See, I like it when you smile. 449 00:30:35,125 --> 00:30:37,919 It makes me believe that everything's gonna be all right. 450 00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:41,423 Well, I also smile when I wanna rip somebody's head off. 451 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,259 Yeah, but I believe everything's good when you do that, too. 452 00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:41,108 Hey, this is Holt. Leave a message. 453 00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:45,987 Hi. I was just... 454 00:31:46,113 --> 00:31:47,739 ...wanting to call you. 455 00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:50,867 OK, I'll talk to you tomorrow. 456 00:31:50,992 --> 00:31:52,494 Bye. 457 00:31:56,832 --> 00:31:58,542 Oh, Don. 458 00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:03,338 Sweet. 459 00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:09,594 I gotta thank you. I just learned a valuable lesson in who to trust. 460 00:32:09,678 --> 00:32:10,804 You would've done the same thing. 461 00:32:10,887 --> 00:32:13,140 No. I would not have done the same thing. 462 00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:16,685 If I had known you were going to bail out your little gay friend, 463 00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:20,897 I wouldn't have. What's the big secret, anyway? I mean, next time, try honesty. 464 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,691 You didn't just say that. 465 00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:24,860 Look, I've been with guys that keep secrets from me, 466 00:32:24,985 --> 00:32:27,195 and it always ends up in one place: me getting screwed over. 467 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,239 Yeah, well, now you know why. 468 00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:34,119 This runs now, and it's worth nothing. OK? Mitch will get dumped from the movie 469 00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:36,496 - and then he's a non-story. - Well, he should've worried about that 470 00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:39,207 before he knobbed some bartender in a toilet. 471 00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:41,710 All I'm asking is that you wait until the movie is shot. 472 00:32:41,835 --> 00:32:44,921 And then he's gonna come out in the magazine. I mean, that is a cover. 473 00:32:45,046 --> 00:32:47,340 It stings getting scooped by your girlfriend, doesn't it? 474 00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:52,888 Willa stole this story by sticking a knife in my back. 475 00:32:53,138 --> 00:32:57,142 Well, take it out and get back to work. Trust me, knife wounds heal. 476 00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:10,447 Yes, but how much in Euros are we talking? 477 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,492 Twenty-two million? Close it. 478 00:33:15,785 --> 00:33:16,953 Sorry. 479 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,831 I'm buying a place next to Clooney in Italy. 480 00:33:20,582 --> 00:33:22,918 I don't mean to take you away from your busy day. 481 00:33:23,043 --> 00:33:27,756 I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your mother. 482 00:33:28,924 --> 00:33:31,593 - Well, you sent flowers. - I did? 483 00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:35,722 Well, I wanted you to hear it from my lips. 484 00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:38,308 Thank you. 485 00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:40,185 While I was at Brent's... 486 00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:44,898 ...collecting some things I left there, 487 00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:48,902 I discovered a collection of homemade sex tapes. 488 00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:51,238 You know, it doesn't surprise me. 489 00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:54,783 Granted, his system isn't as sophisticated as mine. 490 00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,785 I have a multi-camera system in my bedroom. 491 00:33:57,118 --> 00:34:00,789 The quality of Brent's is crude, but slyly effective. 492 00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:03,458 OK. And? 493 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,051 I didn't view it. 494 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:14,803 Out of respect. 495 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:20,016 - Respect? - You don't believe me? 496 00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,269 No, I believe you. 497 00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:24,479 Because this is bullshit. 498 00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:27,148 Come on, Barrow and me? 499 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:30,151 Give me some credit. I wouldn't bang him with your dick. 500 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,206 Willa with a wig. 501 00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:46,501 Wow, that girl never ceases to surprise. 502 00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,340 Can I have the rest of those tapes? 503 00:34:53,508 --> 00:34:54,509 Just for safekeeping. 504 00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:59,514 I'll have one of my assistants drop them off. 505 00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:07,188 Well, McPherson, I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. 506 00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:16,865 I have a copy of Brent's autopsy. 507 00:35:17,866 --> 00:35:20,368 As Lucy said, he died of carbon monoxide poisoning. 508 00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:23,830 But the list of drugs in his system is pretty startling. 509 00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:27,876 If... if anybody's interested. 510 00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:37,636 Mitch. 511 00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:40,722 - Oh, my God! - You lying sack of shit! 512 00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:43,975 I lost the movie! I don't even have enough money to pay my own rent! 513 00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:46,269 - Man, I didn't... - Somehow, someway, 514 00:35:46,645 --> 00:35:49,564 - I'm going to return this favor. - Look, Mitch, stop it! Stop it! 515 00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:52,567 Farber didn't write the story about you, I did. 516 00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:56,071 We had a thing, and I found out about you, I ran with it. It's not his... 517 00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:59,115 So what? So what? What am I supposed to do? 518 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,368 Not hate Farber now? Is that what you want? 519 00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:04,663 OK. I don't hate him anymore. Feel better? 520 00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:09,376 I just think he's pathetic for hosing a heartless bitch like you. 521 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:38,697 - How are you? - OK. 522 00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:41,282 I got to be back to set tomorrow, 523 00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:44,244 but I kind of got the feeling you needed me here tonight. 524 00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:47,455 - That's sweet. - No, but wait a second. 525 00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:49,582 Before you let me in... 526 00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,543 ...know something... 527 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,589 Look, as soon as I'm done with this movie, 528 00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,259 Julia, or no Julia... 529 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,846 ...I'm going public with this relationship. 530 00:37:04,806 --> 00:37:06,099 So you have an option. 531 00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,476 You have to make a decision here. 532 00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:12,063 If you don't let me in... 533 00:37:15,316 --> 00:37:18,236 ...that's gonna be the end of us. All right? 534 00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:21,406 I'm not gonna be happy about it, but I'll understand. 535 00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:23,116 So... 536 00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:26,786 ...but if you do let me in... 537 00:37:29,038 --> 00:37:30,957 ...we can't hide this anymore. 538 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:34,669 We can't. I can't do that. 539 00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:42,343 So you gotta make the decision here. You gotta figure it out. 540 00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,071 Can I get you anything? 541 00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:04,199 No, I think I'm good. 542 00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:16,961 I want to introduce you to somebody. 543 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:24,052 Holt, this is my mom. Mom, this is Holt. 544 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:34,437 It's nice to meet you finally, Mrs. Weston. 545 00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,484 I just want you to know that I have every intention 546 00:38:39,609 --> 00:38:42,403 of taking full advantage of your daughter tonight. 547 00:38:43,404 --> 00:38:45,365 So, if there's any objections... 548 00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:48,827 ...let me know, all right? 549 00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:55,708 Give us a second here. Let the woman speak. Thank you. 550 00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:03,216 Thank you. I appreciate that. 551 00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:05,718 She loves me. 552 00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:08,596 She does. I don't know what to tell you, but she does. 553 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,017 She approves, too.