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Previously on Dirt:
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Don, your brother's
been in a car accident.
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I don't remember any of it.
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Jason, you came.
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Hi, Sharlee.
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Don's going to be your
personal photographer.
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00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,262
- I really liked "Love Me Monday."
- Thank you.
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Hey! Get your ass off that wall!
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Just promise that you'll tell me
before it gets printed.
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Do you think that Roy's
gonna find out about what you're doing?
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We could have gotten
another million out of her.
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His whole marriage to Sharlee
was a complete scam.
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- It's not good.
- Will you play with my hair, Don?
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It's Debbi Ann.
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They never really broke up.
They planned it to get your money.
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Sharlee, I'm worried about you.
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- You should be kissing my ass.
- Could I start with your lips?
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And you're here to convince me
to buy your magazine.
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00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,014
- What's in it for Brent Barrow?
- May I?
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- I'm Lucy.
- Good to put a face to the name.
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Brent Barrow says the website
can produce more revenue.
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He wants editorial control.
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Brent Barrow shouldn't be
in control of the air conditioning.
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Hey, do you want to go to the
Hollywood Gold Awards with me?
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Sure.
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What is this thing?
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I don't know.
I just want to be with you.
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Me, too.
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Lucy Spiller,
would you like to go on a date with me?
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Yes, I would.
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How about the...
the Hollywood Gold Awards?
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We can't do that.
Besides, I'm already going with someone.
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Reporters have to be inside before that.
Come on, this is Awards Night 101.
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Oh, thank God.
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Yeah, well, figure it out
or you'll be spending the night
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with a centerpiece
sticking out of your ass!
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Hi.
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Wow. Where'd you learn
to fold one of these?
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Hey, Jay, don't touch that.
That's for my pinhole camera thing.
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You gonna get out today?
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Why, is there an eclipse or something?
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The doctor said
you got to get out and about.
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You've been on the couch for two weeks.
You got to do something.
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I am doing something.
I'm hanging out with my big brother.
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- So... you gonna bang her?
- Who?
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Who? Sharlee Cates, man.
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I told you. It's just business.
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Dude, you're with her every day.
Don't even...
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Don't act like you
haven't thought about it, please.
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- It's my job.
- Yeah?
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"Oh, Don.
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You're not like the other paps.
You're such a nice guy."
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- I told you that in confidence.
- "Oh, Don, please, can I see it?
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Whip it out for me, Donnie, please.
Just a sneaky peeky?"
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Dude, my neck!
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- Jay, are you OK?
- Kiss me, Donnie!
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You asshole!
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Don't wait up.
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Good afternoon, Brent.
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Please, you and your friend, join us.
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The champagne is already poured.
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Get in the car.
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Hi. Welcome.
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Hi.
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Look at my little prom king.
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I love flowers.
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They're so corny.
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Hey. Tonight is going to be
the greatest night of my life.
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Because I'm going to present Mia
with her Lifetime Achievement Award.
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And you know what? She asked for me.
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It was completely her idea.
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Oh, I just... I love her so much.
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OK.
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Here. Open your mouth.
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- Spearmint.
- With THC.
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No, I'm good.
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OK. Holt will be here any minute.
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I can give you a little bit of time
with him but then he has to go do ET
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- and the People photo booth.
- OK. So, will Jasmine Ford be with him?
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- Are they officially together?
- Are you looking to have
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a new one chewed?! What? No. Hang on.
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Sorry, sweetie. Holt and Jasmine are
very excited to be working together.
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They have the utmost respect and
affection for each other. That work?
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- Yeah.
- There's your quote. OK.
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- Hey.
- Hi.
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After the event,
do we go just back to the office?
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No. The party's just the beginning.
Final transmissions are at 5:00,
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Lucy will have us up making copy changes
until about 4:59. OK?
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Danielle said
that the close schedule changed,
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so all text is locked by 4:00,
basically, meaning that...
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Yeah, I know what it means.
I've done this before.
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Holt's here. It's now or never.
Now listen, you can ask him anything
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you want about the movie.
No questions about Julia Mallory.
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Gorgeous. Hi.
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Willa from Dirt Now.
Don't say anything stupid.
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- I'll be right over there. Be charming.
- Don't worry.
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- Hi.
- How are you?
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- So congratulations on your nomination.
- Thank you.
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I'm just glad it's only took ten years
worth of work
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- to get nominated for "Best Newcomer."
- Do you believe that?
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What, it wasn't believable enough?
Should I try that again?
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Well, good luck.
My money would be on you.
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- Thank you.
- Holt will next be seen starring
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opposite Jasmine Ford in the drama,
Fear Tactic.
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And here comes a tender moment.
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Jasmine gives her former husband,
baseball star Trey Paulson, a hug.
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They are truly two
of Hollywood's friendliest exes.
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Obviously they're
not screening for steroids.
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Don't be hating, baby.
I've got nothing but love for you.
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Besides, you really want to call me on
my shit with all your indiscretions?
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I've been sober 13 months.
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Seems like just yesterday you were
sober 13 months for the first time.
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My beauty.
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Goodbye. Come with me.
Everybody needs you down here.
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Cute.
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Now arriving, America's princess of pop,
Miss Sharlee Cates.
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Sharlee, over here! Over here! Come on,
give me a smile, baby! Just one shot!
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Jesus Christ, it's Konkey!
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OK. Own it. Don't hide.
Give it to them and get it over with.
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Do you smell cherries?
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Hey, Sharlee, when'd you start
sleeping with the enemy?
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Oh, Donnie and I are just friends.
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And here she is, God's gift to pop,
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and that's a direct quote
from her, folks, Mia!
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- Mia! Mia! Mia!
- Mia is receiving
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the Lifetime Achievement Award tonight.
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And it will be given to her
by none other than Sharlee Cates.
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I love this girl. Isn't she beautiful?
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Mia, over here! Mia, over here!
Come on, give me a shot!
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Oh, my gosh.
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- Hey.
- Hello, gorgeous.
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- Hi, Jasmine.
- How are you?
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- Good.
- Did you get that plasma screen I sent?
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Thank you, Ted.
But it's going to take more than that
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to get me to commit
to your mini-series.
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I thought our offer was quite generous,
to say the least.
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Bump it up from generous to obscene,
and we'll talk.
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Besides, I can't take on anything
until I'm done with my boy here.
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- When do you guys start that project?
- We go on location next week.
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- Lucky you.
- No, we're just good friends.
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Though I always fall a little bit
in love with my costar.
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What about you, Holt? Do you always
fall just a little bit in love?
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Nah. I tend to go for
the emotionally unavailable types.
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Well, now I know the party can start.
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- How are you?
- I'm good.
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Jasmine, do you know Claire?
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Of course.
We worked together years ago.
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- And this is Lucy Spiller and...
- Hi.
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- Tim... Ted.
- Ted. Ted Coleman.
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Lucy Spiller, I should be mad
at you for all the awful things
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- you've wrote about me this year.
- Or stop doing awful things.
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I heard great things
about The Plantation.
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Wonderful script.
Can't wait to get started.
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How about a toast? You need a drink.
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May good fortune
reign over all of our projects.
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Cheers.
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Could I get you
to raise your arms, please, sir?
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Sir, you're gonna
have to leave this here.
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Nice try, Konkey!
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00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,474
Raise your arms, please.
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You want the underwire from my bra?
You could probably sell it on eBay
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00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,066
and take your girlfriend
to Jamaica for a month.
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You certainly know your shit, Donnie.
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All right, I have one request
for those who win tonight.
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If you haven't been in a synagogue
or a church in the last two years,
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you can't thank God.
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Hello.
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You seem to get along
pretty well with McLaren.
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00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,976
Why shouldn't I?
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00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,897
Well, his girlfriend did try to
kill you, then wound up dead herself.
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00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,234
I don't know. That would make
most people feel a little awkward.
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00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:13,113
- Well, luckily, I'm a people person.
- Yes, you are.
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...please help me welcome last year's
Best Actress winner, Jasmine Ford,
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00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:21,371
and the star of Native Speaker,
Malachi Brody.
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00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:31,256
A clown, a pianist,
a Little League coach... Jasmine?
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00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,385
What is she doing?
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00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,178
That's your line.
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00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:41,474
That's quite all right. A clown,
a pianist, a Little League coach...
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00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,646
Jasmine?
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00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:51,109
Let's see...
These are some of the roles played
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00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:54,445
by the outstanding nominees
for Best Dramatic
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00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,614
Male Actor...
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00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,166
Now, that's awkward.
184
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,714
She's been sober for a year.
I don't get it.
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00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,923
Maybe it's food poisoning.
186
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,218
I've had food poisoning
and I don't remember giggling.
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00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:22,015
OK, half the civilized world
has caught this on live TV,
188
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:26,102
the other half will catch it on YouTube
in about two hours. What happened?
189
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,855
Career fallout,
family reactions, rehab plans...
190
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,608
What we didn't see,
was she drinking, when?
191
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,902
You know, it could have been pills.
Vicodin works fast.
192
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,070
Even faster if you chase it with Ativan.
193
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:40,033
That's what we bookworms did
in college in lieu of women.
194
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,827
All right. What did her rep say?
195
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,455
I was covering the smoking area.
I wasn't in the press room.
196
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,833
You were in the smoking area
because you wanted a smoke.
197
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,586
- I was where I was supposed to be.
- Who said anything about you?
198
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,588
I was covering the smoking area
because it made Bee sick
199
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,757
- and she wanted to switch.
- OK, you've either slept together
200
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:59,844
or you've slept together. Either way,
go do your goddamn jobs. Go!
201
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,847
- What's wrong with you?
- How was that accusatory?
202
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,390
That's beautiful.
203
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,684
No, that's great.
204
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,312
OK, good. Yep, yep.
205
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,149
Why are you all smiles?
206
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,196
You ever been to Bora Bora?
207
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,950
- No, but it's on my list.
- Oh, yeah?
208
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,495
Clear next week.
209
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,044
Brent, I need to talk with you.
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00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,754
And I with you.
211
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,883
Go look at something shiny, will you?
212
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:42,512
Remember the rights to
all the Dirt Now brand extensions?
213
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,223
Books, TV specials, foreign editions?
214
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,768
Of course. Gibson refused
to include them in the sale.
215
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,063
What if I were to tell you
that Gibson has agreed to sell these
216
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,941
to you for one dollar?
217
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,777
That got you there.
218
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,905
It turns out his lawyers misinterpreted
some clause in the contract.
219
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,657
If he hangs on to these rights,
he's on the hook
220
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:07,787
for millions in tax liabilities.
You... You, on the other hand,
221
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,707
have no exposure to worry about.
222
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,751
You are a multinational.
223
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:19,132
Congratulations, your holdings
just increased by 100 million dollars.
224
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,009
Wonderful.
225
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,222
Now, may I tell you
what I wanted to say?
226
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,348
Yeah.
227
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,852
Switch women with me.
228
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,189
I want your date.
229
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,776
- Wait a minute.
- You can have mine.
230
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,905
Adam, I can't just trade her off, I...
231
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:47,035
Brent, a challenge is a beautiful thing.
232
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,664
To lock horns, to bury a shoulder
into the heart of an obstacle.
233
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:56,627
Meet this challenge and stand victorious
in a downpour of red roses.
234
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,547
Fail, and wilt,
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00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,134
diminished in both stature and worth.
236
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,062
An artist of extraordinary vision
and creativity,
237
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:19,275
she has had a profound impact not only
on the American music industry,
238
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,111
but on the world's pop
cultural scene as well.
239
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:25,740
- Get anything?
- I got some stuff.
240
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,951
Ladies and gentlemen,
it gives me great pleasure
241
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:34,123
to present this Lifetime Achievement
award to my personal hero, Mia.
242
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,259
Hi.
243
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,195
It's tired,
but the tongues were a nice twist.
244
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,323
If I know Mia, she's going
to stonewall the press.
245
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,034
But you have an inside pass,
so I want you to use it, Don.
246
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,494
Don't let me down.
247
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,166
Don.
248
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,336
Hey, have you been drinking?
249
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,173
Seriously.
250
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,300
Allergies.
251
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,345
It must be somebody's perfume
or something.
252
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:39,313
She's at St. Margaret's.
She suffered from exhaustion. That's it.
253
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,733
"Exhaustion"?
Isn't that Hollywood for "shit-faced"?
254
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:47,321
She was clean. Nothing but Diet Cokes
and bottled water for the past year.
255
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:51,701
You expect me to go back to Lucy and
tell her that Jasmine Ford blew chunks
256
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,745
on national television
because she needed a nap?
257
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,707
I've lied for my clients before.
That's my job.
258
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:01,002
But I'm telling you,
I am not lying, she was clean.
259
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,254
I think somebody slipped
something in her soda.
260
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,473
How's Jasmine?
261
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,224
They took her to the hospital.
262
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,312
Was she on something?
263
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,816
- Is this for the record?
- Would it make a difference?
264
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:27,403
No. Just like knowing
who I'm talking to, you know.
265
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,114
- You're talking to me.
- That's what I'm afraid of.
266
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:35,578
No, I didn't see her drink anything
that wasn't carbonated all night. So...
267
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,872
Did she seem upset about anything?
268
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,834
Well, she ran into her dick
of an ex-husband on the red carpet.
269
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,878
She seemed to get over it.
270
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,174
Between me and you,
she's got bigger problems than that.
271
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:51,844
- What?
- They want her off the movie.
272
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,347
According to Cheryl, with her history,
273
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,849
the studio didn't want to bond her
to begin with, so...
274
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,769
- Who would replace her?
- I don't know.
275
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,855
But if she looks half
as good as you in that dress,
276
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,732
then I'll be one happy leading man.
277
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,322
You're just saying that
because I'm emotionally unavailable.
278
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,698
Maybe.
279
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,409
What?
280
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,788
- Tim? Timmy? Ted?
- Ted.
281
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,498
Timmy.
282
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,921
- He's not the right one.
- And you know that how?
283
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,298
I can it hear it in your breathing.
284
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,425
- Is that so?
- Yeah.
285
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,929
It's all jagged, uneven,
286
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,472
a little like it is now, you know?
287
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,063
You know, her rep said that she's clean.
I think I believe her.
288
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,732
Oh, yeah. Unless of course she's one
of those rare celebrities
289
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,777
- who's into self-destruction.
- There's self destruction,
290
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,071
and then there's dropping
a nuclear warhead on your career.
291
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,740
- I'm not buying it.
- Your boyfriend the baseball player
292
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,326
seemed like he might get a kick
out of seeing her crash and burn.
293
00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:00,121
- Maybe he doped her.
- Her ex-husband?
294
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,708
Isn't that the equivalent of
"the butler did it?" What's his motive?
295
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,835
He's her ex-husband.
296
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,588
Sold.
297
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:11,173
You know what?
Pass me those packets of sweetener.
298
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:14,176
- What for?
- Just because I'm not a jock
299
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,178
doesn't mean I don't follow sports.
300
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:19,265
Our man, Trey, has been known
to howl at the moon.
301
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,978
I could totally see you
in music videos.
302
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,148
Oh, yeah, like Kanye,
East Side and stuff.
303
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,942
You know, we actually have
a really good relationship with VH1.
304
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,110
- Yep.
- Really?
305
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:35,031
- I'm sure they would be interested.
- They'd go crazy, man. Step on in.
306
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,202
Yippy-skippy.
307
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,998
- Do this.
- Did we lock the door?
308
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,375
- Oh, my...
- Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
309
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,752
- Oh, shit.
- Don't worry about it.
310
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:51,964
- I got my own party.
- Oh, great.
311
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,467
- That's great.
- That's great. I love that stuff.
312
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:58,054
Great. You don't think that what
happened to Trey's ex tonight
313
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,306
- is gonna hurt him, do you?
- No, no.
314
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,975
I mean, you don't have much contact
with her nowadays, do you?
315
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,519
No, thank you.
I've had my fill of crazy.
316
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,022
Yeah, man. That was some
insane shit tonight, huh?
317
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,483
Yeah. Yeah, and you know
who's really getting screwed here?
318
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:14,612
Me. OK? My pre-nup says half of
everything that she makes, I get.
319
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:18,824
No one's going to hire her now. I swear
that bitch did that just to spite me.
320
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,499
- Go ahead.
- Hey, party time.
321
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,630
- See, Paulson's too greedy.
- He wants the money.
322
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:35,383
- Right, and he does not like her.
- Hates her.
323
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,176
- But he would not jeopardize...
- ...the money...
324
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,679
- So she's going to lose the movie.
- You know, the Holt McLaren movie.
325
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,347
Right, but I don't know
who'd want to see that?
326
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,391
- Dumping her?
- The studio, maybe.
327
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,894
- The competition!
- Jesus! Shut up.
328
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,190
Mia?
329
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,778
There she is. My heir apparent.
330
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,572
I just... I wanted to thank you so much.
331
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,784
Because you have been my idol
since I can remember.
332
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:06,247
And that out there,
I'm just... I'm so honored.
333
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,333
Thanks. Thanks for stopping by.
334
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,461
I thought that maybe we could
do the press room together.
335
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,214
And that way I could be completely
honest about my reaction
336
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:19,552
and it would just be
about the music and...
337
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:25,641
Don't take this the wrong way,
Sharlee, but we're done here.
338
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,353
- I just thought...
- Well, that's a problem.
339
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:35,568
I'm sorry, I don't...
I'm not sure I understand.
340
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,778
Sure you do. Think about it.
341
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,865
Our kiss was no different
than you flashing your snatch
342
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:44,076
getting out of a limo or cutting your
hair for the paparazzi.
343
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:49,498
We're in the business of being
provocative. That's our job.
344
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:52,001
Staying relevant in a world
345
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:55,087
with an attention span of a magpie.
346
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:58,591
The way I look at it,
I just added another five minutes
347
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,093
to what little's left of your 15.
348
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:07,183
Don't get me wrong, Sharlee.
349
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:11,228
I do admire you, and your dead animal.
350
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,732
We're all creations to a degree,
but you...
351
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:18,819
You've built an empire
on nothing but smoke,
352
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:23,407
and nary enough talent or gray matter
to float a spoon.
353
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:28,537
You're welcome.
354
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:36,170
You know, all this bitterness
makes you look old.
355
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,718
Hey, can I bum a smoke?
356
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:45,554
Sure.
357
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:48,265
I haven't had a cigarette
in almost three years.
358
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,143
Not a day goes by that
I don't think about lighting one up.
359
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,563
You got a light?
360
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,696
Gave up gambling.
361
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,657
Gave up smoking.
362
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:07,701
Booze and pussy.
363
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,745
That's all I got left.
364
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,206
I'm sure as hell not giving up
either one of those.
365
00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:14,708
I hear you.
366
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:18,420
Especially with the piece of ass
I'm banging right now.
367
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,965
I mean, I've had my fair share,
you know?
368
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,634
How could you not, living in this town?
369
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:26,387
But I gotta be honest with you, man.
370
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:30,975
Lucy Spiller, she's one horny girl.
371
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:34,937
I know she looks
all hard on the outside,
372
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,983
but I get her bent over my sofa,
smack her ass a little bit,
373
00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,943
she starts howling...
374
00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:48,868
How'd that work out for you, Timmy?
Got something else to say, buddy?
375
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,127
What were you thinking?
376
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,714
I'm sorry, all right?
377
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,465
I shouldn't have,
but he had it coming to him.
378
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,634
Because why? What did he say?
379
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:08,637
That I was a slut? That I put out?
380
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,848
What are you, 16?
381
00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:15,060
What world are you living in?
He played you.
382
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:17,897
All right, so what?
So he played me. Who cares?
383
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,481
This is a big mistake.
384
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:21,734
Yeah, it's a big mistake,
and you're making it.
385
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:31,035
Your friend Adam is quite a character.
386
00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:34,455
You like him?
387
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:38,125
He's rich, handsome, arrogant,
388
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,628
and he looks at me like I'm covered
in béarnaise sauce.
389
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,504
What's not to like?
390
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,424
Well, he told me
391
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:48,636
that he finds you very attractive.
392
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:51,305
Is that my cue
to jump up and down and clap?
393
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:54,016
What is it with beautiful women
and bile?
394
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:57,394
What is it about rich men
and entitlement?
395
00:23:57,519 --> 00:24:02,024
Well, I'm just saying,
it might be interesting.
396
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:06,403
So let me get this straight.
You're pimping me off to your boss?
397
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:11,200
Jen, Jen, Jen.
I love you like, like...
398
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:14,870
...an 18 year old Scotch,
but let's not re-write history here.
399
00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:16,830
Before tonight,
I hadn't seen you in three months.
400
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:20,542
All right, true. So I see how
one could construe that to mean
401
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:23,379
they have the right to trade me
like an old baseball card.
402
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:27,675
I'm not trading you,
sweetheart, I'm not. I'm...
403
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,763
I'm alerting you... to an opportunity.
404
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:42,064
- One million dollars for one night.
- Oh, God!
405
00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:45,609
Just like the movie.
Two if his girlfriend sticks around.
406
00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:49,697
The guy can have anybody he wants.
He doesn't have to pay for sex.
407
00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:54,868
Sweetheart, everybody pays for sex.
408
00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:58,956
Speak of the devil.
409
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:04,169
You have very beautiful toes.
410
00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:10,342
Don't you think I tried the agents?
Nobody is going to say anything
411
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,136
- until they cast a replacement.
- Quiet.
412
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:14,471
- Sorry, Greg, what was that?
- Don't tell me...
413
00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:16,306
Yeah.
414
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:19,101
Got it. No, thanks, man.
415
00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:23,647
OK, he heard the execs say that the
whole thing is a blessing in disguise.
416
00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:26,150
OK? Studio had buyer's remorse
on her deal from the get-go.
417
00:25:26,275 --> 00:25:30,404
They even floated the idea to her agents
of putting her on a different movie.
418
00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:33,115
How fortuitous.
419
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:35,451
You don't think it was the studio
that doped her
420
00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,369
so that they could cancel her contract?
421
00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:39,455
Why not? This is Hollywood.
422
00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:42,041
Do you have those business affairs
sources at the studio?
423
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,460
Who do you think I'm calling, Einstein?
424
00:25:57,973 --> 00:25:59,475
Open your mouth.
425
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:01,810
- I talked to Jen.
- Who?
426
00:26:01,977 --> 00:26:03,187
My date.
427
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,441
They usually take
30 minutes to kick in.
428
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:12,321
Special blend: a little E,
a little speed, a little DXM.
429
00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:14,656
She wants a million dollars
for the night.
430
00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:17,409
Two if Nicolina's on the dance card.
431
00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:21,538
Brent, Brent... Brent.
432
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:24,291
An ambiguously worded clause my
lawyers would have found eventually
433
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:28,670
is one thing.
But this is a real test of your value.
434
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,965
My offer to Jen is my company.
Nothing else.
435
00:26:32,758 --> 00:26:34,176
Work with that.
436
00:26:45,229 --> 00:26:47,314
- I'm sorry.
- For what?
437
00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:50,567
Come on,
you're too smart to play stupid.
438
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:54,113
Really?
I think I've played stupid really well.
439
00:26:58,075 --> 00:26:59,159
Do you love him?
440
00:27:02,496 --> 00:27:03,705
I don't know.
441
00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:11,046
What?
442
00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:13,841
I thought we weren't
going to play stupid.
443
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:19,638
Bye.
444
00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:29,898
I really love what I do.
445
00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:37,614
I'm ashamed at...
how much I love what I do.
446
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:42,369
If I couldn't do anything in life...
447
00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:46,248
...the music is...
448
00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:51,461
I think you sing beautifully.
449
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:57,467
Really?
450
00:27:57,718 --> 00:28:00,470
Tattered, your third CD?
It's all I listen to now.
451
00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:03,682
I'm 41 years old,
and that's all I listen to.
452
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,477
I love the incongruity.
453
00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:11,523
- What is that?
- The absurdity of something,
454
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:14,776
when, you know,
like when things don't go together.
455
00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:19,615
Like us?
456
00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:22,034
Yeah.
457
00:28:27,873 --> 00:28:29,958
Will you kiss me, Don?
458
00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:34,963
Like normal people kiss?
459
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,612
Some early selects for the advance.
460
00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:01,281
Art department's already got them,
they just need your approval.
461
00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:11,041
We thought you could use that
for the Ed Letter.
462
00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,672
Claire Leland's movie, The Plantation.
463
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:19,383
Call your source
and see if they have a start date.
464
00:29:21,343 --> 00:29:24,137
- I presented your offer.
- And?
465
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:30,143
I wish they'd let you smoke in here.
466
00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:33,480
What?
467
00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:37,442
- That's it?
- Apparently.
468
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,618
Do you like my Jaguar?
469
00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:48,912
It's all right.
470
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,999
Just had it detailed.
471
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,001
Well, you should get your money back.
472
00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:57,421
Because you can still smell
the desperation when you get in.
473
00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:08,724
What you do tonight to one person...
474
00:30:10,726 --> 00:30:15,230
...I've had to do
countless times over...
475
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:17,065
...years.
476
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:20,986
I can't tell
if you're bragging or lamenting.
477
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:29,453
Do me a favor?
478
00:30:29,578 --> 00:30:33,999
If the world should go up in flames
tomorrow, and it's just you and me left,
479
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,627
pretend you didn't see me.
480
00:30:46,053 --> 00:30:47,304
Claire.
481
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:51,433
- Congratulations.
- For what?
482
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:56,104
Your new job. You're taking
Jasmine Ford's part in Fear Tactic.
483
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,148
I doubt it, I think I'd have heard.
484
00:30:58,273 --> 00:31:01,443
Well, you heard about The Plantation.
I mean, it's shutting down.
485
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:04,321
- I had no idea.
- Really?
486
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:06,948
What... What was it?
487
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:10,535
Was it ketamine that you put
in Jasmine's Diet Coke?
488
00:31:10,660 --> 00:31:12,496
Or PCP? Rohypnol?
489
00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:15,791
Did you do it by yourself
or did you get help?
490
00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:18,377
You're starting to sound
like your magazine.
491
00:31:18,502 --> 00:31:19,795
Why don't you save it for your memoirs
492
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,630
because you'll never be
allowed to print it.
493
00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:23,382
I'm sure I'll find a way.
494
00:31:25,258 --> 00:31:26,802
Good luck.
495
00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:46,071
I've decided to keep both women.
496
00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:52,369
But in exchange,
you get the website and the options.
497
00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:56,415
And since you did discover the
properties before my lawyers,
498
00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:58,917
let's add a finder's fee. Say...
499
00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:01,211
...two and a half percent
on the hundred mil?
500
00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:12,347
A little something
for all your efforts tonight.
501
00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:16,518
One of my assistants
just dropped it off.
502
00:32:16,643 --> 00:32:18,311
It's outside.
503
00:32:40,041 --> 00:32:43,462
All right!
504
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,660
One, two, one, two, three, four!
505
00:33:29,716 --> 00:33:32,093
Hey, what did you get?
506
00:33:32,719 --> 00:33:36,556
I... I gotta go home
and look at some stuff.
507
00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:40,101
Wait, Don, stop it!
What about the tape recorder?
508
00:33:41,561 --> 00:33:43,396
Don, I need this.
509
00:33:43,522 --> 00:33:45,482
I have nothing on Jasmine.
510
00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:48,401
I don't have anything else.
Sharlee and Mia, that is it.
511
00:33:48,527 --> 00:33:51,488
Sorry, Lucy.
You know, there was nothing there.
512
00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:57,077
Sharlee went and said hi to Mia and
that was it. I couldn't get a story.
513
00:33:57,202 --> 00:34:00,705
OK, which was it? There was
nothing there, or you couldn't get it?
514
00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:02,582
Nothing there.
515
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:05,669
OK, I don't believe you.
516
00:34:05,794 --> 00:34:07,462
Give me the recorder.
517
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:13,051
Don, give it to me.
She's not a person, she is a product.
518
00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:16,346
If you can't remember that,
maybe you should take some time off.
519
00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:33,113
- I should've called.
- Forget it.
520
00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:36,700
No, it's... emails are so impersonal.
You know, I just thought...
521
00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:38,368
I never got an email.
522
00:34:39,786 --> 00:34:41,454
I sent it from my personal account.
523
00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:44,583
I don't open emails
from unknown senders.
524
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:47,168
Well, I figured that
after we slept together,
525
00:34:47,294 --> 00:34:50,171
the least I could do is give
you my personal email address.
526
00:34:52,841 --> 00:34:56,511
- That is so sweet.
- Well, I try.
527
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:07,480
- What did it say?
- What?
528
00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:09,774
- The email? What did it say?
- It said that I think you
529
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:12,652
were actually a very good reporter.
530
00:35:21,870 --> 00:35:23,872
Lucy! Lucy!
531
00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:30,587
OK, all right, all right,
I need a minute!
532
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:33,757
She needs a minute.
533
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,091
Oh, Don.
534
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:01,344
I want to see you.
535
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:09,602
What? You know the drill.
536
00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:11,146
Close the book.