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Previously on Dirt:
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I didn't invite you here
for a story either.
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- Really.
- Really. I wanted to see you.
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That Ted Coleman, he likes you.
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- It's so good to see you, Lucy.
- Oh, it's good to see you, Ted.
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- I got to go.
- Wait, are you sure? Come on.
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We can't do this, Holt.
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Don, your brother's
been in a car accident.
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How bad is it?
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- Hey, Jason.
- It must be bad if you're here.
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Congratulations, guys. You did great.
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Drink up, go home
and have some terrific sex.
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What, you two haven't done it yet?
Sorry.
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Sharlee Cates would be a great get now.
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Get it, Don! Get it, Don!
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Freaking move!
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I want you to meet someone.
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- This is Don Konkey.
- Hi, Sharlee.
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Don's going to be your
personal photographer.
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He'll need unfettered access.
Oh, that means "lots".
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Are you kidding me? Paul Slatkin
gets a 20 million dollar deal?
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Do you remember that party
he had on his boat in the marina?
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- Jews are not sailors.
- No.
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Even I know that,
and I'm only half a Jew.
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Poor guy.
Didn't even see the mast coming.
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Yeah, he was too busy staring
at Jessica Biel's porthole.
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- Go ahead, get it.
- I don't need to get it.
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- Yeah, right.
- Come on.
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- I know you want to get it. Just...
- I'm fine!
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Just embrace it. It's OK.
Come on, let's see who it is.
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I don't care.
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Really? It's Don.
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- Hey. What's up?
- Oh, hi, Lucy.
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Roy Toy's moving out on Sharlee. There's
a bunch of guys here loading up a truck.
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Did she tell you that?
Are you alone there?
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No. I think Roy Toy might
have leaked it to...
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...a few other guys.
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- Roy! Roy! Over here, Roy!
- I gotta go.
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Bananas.
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- She's never this late.
- Do you think she got laid?
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Yes, I did. Anybody else? Show of hands.
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- I did.
- I did.
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- Alan, you're lying.
- Hey, Thai massages should count.
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Anything new
on the Roy Toy-Sharlee split?
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- Roy Toy and Sharlee split?
- I'm going to pretend you didn't
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say that because
you make terrific brownies.
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Somebody find out why he
would leak something so personal.
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- I'll take it.
- No, I got it.
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When he did that shitty rap album, I did
a piece on him: "Roy Toy's No Boy Toy."
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Does Dr. Seuss
know you're plagiarizing him?
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Look, Roy thinks that I love him,
which means that he loves me.
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I've already left him a message
on his cell phone. He'll call back.
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- Good luck with that.
- Believe me, he'll call me back.
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OK, if he doesn't, Farber's on it.
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In other news,
we have Genevieve Fair and Zach Bauer.
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It's a fantastic picture.
But tragic because it's not our cover.
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Who took this? A seagull? Camille?
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- I know how to do my job.
- You're a ray of sunshine, aren't you?
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- Yeah, well, I do what I can.
- Wait, those two together? No, no way.
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- That's gotta be Photoshopped.
- It isn't. I checked.
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- Look, the pixels match.
- Either way, it's fantastic.
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They just got done doing
that movie Shock together.
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- It's PR, it's got to be PR.
- No, the guy's a clown.
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Don't you remember we couldn't
run any of those photos of him?
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Yeah, the one with no pants
and when he used an apple as a bong.
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- God, it hurt not to use those.
- Genevieve is gorgeous.
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She's got a serious career,
she makes boatloads of cash.
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She could have anybody she wants.
Why would she be with that tool?
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Excuse me, just
a point of clarification.
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- Yes, professor?
- Does everybody here believe
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these two couldn't be together solely
based on their physical appearance?
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- Yes. I agree with that. Yeah.
- Are you kidding?
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- That is completely superficial.
- Well, then you're on the story.
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Prove all of us superficial people
wrong. All right, what else?
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The valet at the Mondrian told me
that Holt McLaren left there last night
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at 3:30am with Danica Ramos.
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And he's shooting a movie.
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You know, only a guy could do that
and still look good for a 6am call.
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Let's see if it's serious
with Señorita Ramos,
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or is he just enjoying a soft taco.
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- What does that mean? I don't get it.
- That's just gross.
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You make lousy cappuccino.
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Excuse me, I worked
at Starbucks all through college.
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I didn't realize that cosmetology
school was now considered college.
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Oh, I'm sorry,
is somebody a little bent out of shape
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because he didn't get
to do the Roy Toy story?
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Absolutely not. I am perfectly happy
with the complex human mystery
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that is Zach and Genevieve. And
I look forward to proving you wrong.
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You know what?
My opinion is hardly superficial.
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Nine times out of ten, good-looking
people screw good-looking people.
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But I can't wait to be proven right.
Check the crew list of Shock.
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Women talk to makeup, men talk to hair.
And everybody talks to craft service.
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Thank you very much,
but I have a better lead.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that idea too superficial for you?
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I found Zach's ex-girlfriend.
It goes a little deeper.
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Wow, you know what?
I'm shocked that you would want
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to talk to anybody's ex-girlfriend.
But that explains your pissy mood.
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In the last week, I have crashed
on two crappy fold-out couches
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and shared one with a 15-year-old
Pomeranian named Larry
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who wants to mate with my ankle.
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You know what? Call Lili Steiner.
She's a realtor and a source.
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But she hasn't gotten me anything
in a while, so she owes me.
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- That's very nice of you.
- Now you owe me, too.
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McPherson. Hi, Roy!
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Yes.
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Yes, I would like to see you.
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The photographer's name
is Graham Duncan.
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- These are amazing.
- And he's royalty. His mother is like
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- the Duchess of something.
- Doesn't that make him a Lord?
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All I know is that he used
to work for the London Times.
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- Hey, lover.
- Hey, Camille.
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Hey.
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Hey, Lucy. Who took these?
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His name is Graham Duncan. He's a Brit.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard of him.
You gonna use him?
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I don't know. We'll see. So, what
do you know about the Roy Toy split?
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- She didn't know nothing.
- What do you mean?
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You didn't notice anything off
between the two of them?
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I mean, if she doesn't know,
how could I know?
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Because you are brilliant
and instinctive.
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- Not so much anymore.
- Oh, come on, don't give me that
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bullshit about the drugs again.
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Don, I put you there so you could
find out what's really going on.
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- I'm not a reporter, Lucy, you know?
- Don, you record other people's
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conversations all the time.
All I'm asking you to do is record
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- your own conversation with Sharlee.
- It doesn't feel right.
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- Well, make it feel right.
- That's not very nice.
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- Hey, Lucy, Ted called.
- Not now.
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OK.
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- How come you're not talking to him?
- Please don't change the subject.
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Everyone and their mother wants to get
to Sharlee. You already have her.
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She likes you, Don.
So just get her to talk.
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This is... It's just so good.
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Don't take away my fun.
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OK.
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Look, I didn't want to leave,
but I had to.
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I love Sharlee, but she's crazy, dude.
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I can't leave Romy with her.
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Yeah, well, she is kind
of young to be a mother.
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That's no excuse.
She takes her to clubs at 3:00am .
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What kind of a mother
does shit like that?
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I don't know,
the kind of mother she had?
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When you grow up with that,
you either repeat that crap
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or you prove to yourself
you can do better.
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I really thought she could.
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She wanted so much to have a kid.
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I'm so sorry.
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What am I supposed to do now?
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Well, are you gonna try
for full custody?
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I have to. She smokes way too much weed.
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She thinks she's here to infuse
the world with her magic.
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Well, she has kind of has.
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She's too out there now.
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It's brutal, man.
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Seeing somebody you love over the edge
and not be able to help them.
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You know, people are gonna think
that this is about money.
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Are you kidding? Look at the pre-nup.
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OK, I'd make a hell of a lot
more money if I stayed with her.
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It isn't about me. It's about Romy.
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Oh, God, which reminds me,
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I have to pick up my other kids
from their mother's.
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- Here's the latest cut from my new CD.
- Thanks.
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Enjoy.
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"What's up, Toy?" Nice.
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I'm not crazy!
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I'm not. You know that, right?
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I know crazy, and you're not it.
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Hey! Get your ass off that wall!
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You know you're just giving them
what they want when you do that.
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I don't care. They're just pissed
that you're in here and they're not.
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Yeah.
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Why is Roy talking shit about me?
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He was the one who talked me
into taking Romy into that club.
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He did that, not me.
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I admit it.
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I smoke pot.
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But he grows it.
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Do you want some?
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00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,997
No, thank you. It makes me stupid.
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00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:44,918
He's having an affair.
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I know he is.
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00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:54,094
He comes home in the middle
of the day smelling like soap.
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00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,763
He's taking a shower somewhere.
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00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,018
That's what he used to do before
he would go home to Debbi Ann.
185
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,650
What did I do
to make him hate me so much?
186
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,027
He left two marriages.
187
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:14,197
It's his pattern. It's not you.
188
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,367
Donkey, will you help me?
189
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,536
You're my friend.
190
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,205
Will you find out who he left me for?
191
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,584
You wanna know how
I found out he was leaving?
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00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,548
I'm coming out of the pet store and...
193
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:36,094
...a bunch of papar-assholes blocked me,
shouting, "Sharlee, Sharlee, Sharlee!
194
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:39,222
How's it feel to be a single mom?"
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00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,980
I don't want to find out that way.
196
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,902
Yeah. OK, I...
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00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,822
I will. I'll help you.
198
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,742
Just promise that you'll tell me
before it gets printed.
199
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,162
I will.
200
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,170
Promise.
201
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,716
Promise.
202
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,477
- Hello, Jason.
- Hey, Don. You working?
203
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,564
Yeah, I'm outside Roy Toy Manning's
ex-wife's house
204
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,109
- waiting for him to pop out.
- Like a cuckoo clock?
205
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,819
Yeah, kind of.
206
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,196
How are you feeling?
207
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:39,365
Well, they're releasing me.
208
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:43,995
I got the scaffolding off my face,
but it still hurts like hell.
209
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,705
I just drank a hamburger.
210
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,627
- April taking you home?
- No, she's in Philadelphia.
211
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,796
Her dad fell off a ladder.
Now he's in the hospital.
212
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,465
Stellar week for her.
213
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,635
Well, come down here and stay with me.
I got room.
214
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,637
And I'll take care of you.
215
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:04,933
Yeah. Just take care of yourself, OK?
216
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,477
Are you still getting your shots?
217
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,978
Yeah.
218
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,441
Oh, his neck's too thick.
219
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,361
- What?
- Just get on a plane, OK?
220
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,530
- I love you, Donny.
- Yeah, I love you, too. You, too.
221
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,818
Willa, it's Roy Toy.
222
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,903
I know. I don't trust
myself for believing him.
223
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,614
I'm checking out his divorce lawyer.
He's using the same one
224
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,658
- from his first divorce, so...
- Well, let me know.
225
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,619
Hey, Lucy, you're on with Naomi.
226
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,329
Just got a call from
the manager of Swingers.
227
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:11,374
Holt just got there and he's in a booth
making out with that model Ingrid Laska.
228
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,126
She's like three and a half feet
taller than him.
229
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,212
- She's definitely worth the climb.
- I got it, Naomi. Kenny?
230
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:20,383
- Yeah, Ted Coleman called again.
- All right, not now. Get me Don.
231
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,843
All right. OK.
232
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,060
- Don, Lucy. Lucy, Don.
- Hi, Lucy.
233
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,355
- Hey, where are you?
- At the park.
234
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,191
He's here with his kids.
There's no sign of any girlfriend yet.
235
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,028
OK, I want you to leave Roy
and go to Swingers Coffee Shop.
236
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,406
Get on Holt McLaren and Ingrid Laska.
He'll be the one in a booster seat.
237
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,658
I thought you wanted me on Sharlee.
238
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,828
Well, I did,
and now I want you on Holt McLaren.
239
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,248
Don't do it, Lucy.
240
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,042
It's too soon... after Julia.
241
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,420
Don, this is a legitimate follow-up
to last week's story.
242
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,465
Excuse me.
Do you have a child here at the park?
243
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,593
- I got to go.
- Do it.
244
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,054
- Yeah, I'll...
- Which one?
245
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,513
- Don...
246
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:11,017
- I'm going.
- You better be! And don't come back!
247
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:15,355
Oh, God! Do you love torturing people?
248
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,609
Sometimes, sweetie.
Looks like it's been a while.
249
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:23,196
You've never wanted
the John Waters before.
250
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:27,575
I heard you were having dinner the other
night at Matsuhisa with Ted Coleman.
251
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,412
- That's why I pay you the big bucks.
- That's a ghost from the past.
252
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,164
Well, the timing is right.
253
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:37,627
Well, I guess he's had it with all the
20-year-old starlets. Lift your leg.
254
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,296
OK.
255
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:43,466
- Deep breath. Here we go.
- Oh, God!
256
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,593
You're good.
257
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:47,804
What do you got for me?
258
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:52,475
Well, I did Zach Bauer's sister
yesterday. The "artist."
259
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,145
Anyway, She told me that Zach
and Genevieve were actually doing it
260
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,481
- during their love scene.
- That's good.
261
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,109
Really? How good?
262
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,194
- Personal space.
- Sorry.
263
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:04,695
Twenty-five hundred.
264
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,990
And if it checks out
and we're the only ones, another 75.
265
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,326
Plus 150 for the John Waters.
266
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,994
- All right, no problem.
- Careful, sweetie.
267
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,288
You've only got the John,
not the Waters.
268
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,085
My friend says you're
selling a '72 Firebird Trans Am.
269
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,839
Yeah, sweet. So how's 5:30?
270
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,676
OK, perfect. Yeah, I'll see you then.
271
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:30,638
Yes. Cameraman from Shock.
Halfway home.
272
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,724
You know, it's too bad you didn't check
the crew list in the first place.
273
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,476
You'd be home by now.
274
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,438
Wow. You're really starting
to sound like my ex-girlfriend.
275
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,773
And I'm starting to understand
why she's an ex.
276
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,360
By the way, why are you the one moving
out when she's the one who dumped you?
277
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,530
- Why is that of interest to you?
- How did you guys meet?
278
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,782
She approached me
in line at Trader Joe's.
279
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,203
Have you ever made a first move? Ever?
280
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,248
OK, then.
281
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,378
So Sharlee has been
paying Debbi Ann $15,000 a month
282
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,714
to take care of his kids
from his first marriage.
283
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,507
She feels guilty about breaking them up.
284
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,009
- That's a whole lot of guilt.
- Yeah.
285
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,969
Let's find out how Debbi Ann
feels about this breakup.
286
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,888
- OK.
- Hey, Lucy,
287
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,348
- there's a gentleman in your office.
- Kenny,
288
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,934
stop letting people in my office!
289
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,314
- Somebody revive Kenny.
- I'll get back to you.
290
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,193
You don't have to look any further.
291
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,904
Because I will deliver.
I will deliver, darling. That's why.
292
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,532
You know me. All right. No, I'll
see you on Wednesday. Thank you, bye.
293
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:35,536
I'm so sorry. Sorry.
Graham Duncan. Pleasure to meet you.
294
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,039
Lucy Spiller.
I wish I could say the same.
295
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,792
Yeah. I tend to make myself
at home wherever I am, sorry.
296
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,253
Obviously. It's a good policy.
297
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,423
Except for in my office.
How did you get in the building?
298
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:51,844
Oh, I talked my way in. Don't be
alarmed, your security is excellent.
299
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,847
Heard you were a big fan of my work.
300
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,143
Well, despite your entitlement issue,
301
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,522
I think your Icon cover with Zach
and Genevieve is extraordinary.
302
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,024
I got that shot while parasailing.
303
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:09,445
- That wasn't just luck?
- God, no. Luck is for amateurs.
304
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:12,448
Yeah, I followed them around
for 11 days. I'm quite obsessed
305
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,660
- with getting the ultimate shot.
- Clearly.
306
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,664
About Don Konkey. He's pretty good.
307
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,209
- Does he work primarily with you?
- We have an agreement.
308
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:27,129
Oh, that's sweet.
No, no, I admire that kind of loyalty.
309
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:30,007
But personally,
I prefer an open relationship.
310
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,176
I find it much more pleasurable.
311
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,388
Whatever satisfies you.
312
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:43,437
OK, well, I think you and I are
gonna work together very, very well.
313
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,401
Wow.
314
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:56,492
Debbi Ann. Hi. Hi... I'm... Sorry.
315
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,327
I'm Willa McPherson with Dirt Now.
316
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:01,789
- Oh, Christ on a crutch.
- Could I talk to you for one second?
317
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:05,626
If you help me unload the car. I have
a million and one things to do today.
318
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,003
I totally understand.
319
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,505
If you understood, you would disappear.
320
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,551
Look, you probably
know Roy better than anybody.
321
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,386
We had to come to you.
322
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,513
Why do you think he would
do something like this to Sharlee?
323
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,266
Give me a break.
He didn't do anything to her.
324
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:23,644
He's a very good father, and he's always
taken very good care of his kids.
325
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,187
You're not helping.
326
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:30,026
Wasn't it Sharlee that made
sure you were taken care of?
327
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,944
Yeah, so?
328
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,322
She felt bad
because she busted up our family.
329
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,408
She should feel bad!
She seduced my husband.
330
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,036
You can put sequins on trash,
but the trash still stinks.
331
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:46,167
So you don't think that Roy had
any part in their breakup at all?
332
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,210
No, I don't.
333
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:53,215
It's just that these things usually
aren't that one-sided, you know?
334
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,635
Well, this one is, Wendy.
335
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,429
Look, I don't know what happened
between the two of them,
336
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:02,058
and frankly, I don't care. Sharlee
is getting exactly what she deserves.
337
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:07,980
- What goes around comes around.
- Could I just ask one more...?
338
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,733
Now, leave me alone. Watch the hatch.
339
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:23,788
She blames Sharlee? Roy leaves
Debbi Ann, then leaves Sharlee,
340
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,415
and he's the victim?
Oh, it's such bullshit.
341
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,502
It's always the other woman,
and never the wandering prick.
342
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,253
He's just better at working the media.
343
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:34,090
Well, he's working way too hard to try
to convince everyone
344
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:36,634
he's not having an affair.
So find out who he's having one with.
345
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:40,346
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I just
had a private screening this afternoon
346
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:43,974
with a beautiful love scene
where Zach Bauer and Genevieve Fair
347
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:48,396
- were engaged in flagrante delicto.
- A foreign film?
348
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:50,690
Screwing.
349
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,192
Kauffman,
it's hearsay unless you have a copy.
350
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:57,655
- From the guy who shot it.
- Seriously? Well, good work.
351
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,365
Help yourself to one
of Naomi's brownies.
352
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:01,409
- Thanks.
- Call their publicists
353
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,453
and see if they want to make a statement
before this little tidbit goes to press.
354
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:09,291
It was unbelievable. The director
calls "cut" and they don't stop,
355
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,128
for quite some time. Right?
Nobody's that good an actor.
356
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,130
- You're welcome.
- Yeah. You know what?
357
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,465
I got to go meet Lili Steiner.
She's gonna show me a guest house.
358
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,050
You're welcome again.
359
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,350
Is that you, Donny?
360
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,480
- You've been on me all day.
- Thanks for noticing.
361
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,274
Gimme a second, OK?
362
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,739
- You're really dedicated.
- Pretty much.
363
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,993
What, slow week? There's gotta
be better stories than me around.
364
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,328
Whatever you do is enough.
365
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,247
For who?
366
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,958
Your fans.
367
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,337
I'm just trying
to live my life, man.
368
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,048
I'm just trying
to take pictures of it.
369
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,803
OK. Fair enough.
370
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,478
If she wants to keep tabs on me,
she should do it herself.
371
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:14,356
You should tell her yourself.
372
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:19,945
Good to see you.
373
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,575
Could I get a picture
of you and your friend?
374
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,161
- She's a little camera shy.
- She is?
375
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,662
Yeah.
376
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,373
Thanks anyway.
377
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:38,964
I'm done.
378
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,051
- You're not done.
- I know what you're doing.
379
00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:44,053
It's your business. It's not mine.
380
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,639
I'm not taking his picture anymore.
381
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,567
Please record your message.
382
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:02,238
Hi, Graham, this is Lucy Spiller.
I need you to get on Holt McLaren.
383
00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:04,865
Send me everything you get. Thank you.
384
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,618
Well, Lili Steiner came through
in a big way.
385
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:10,204
- She got you a place?
- She's driving me up Stone Canyon
386
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:14,750
to show me this guest house, when she
points to this hideous faux château
387
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:18,546
and she tells me that Roy Toy's ex,
Debbi Ann, is seriously considering it.
388
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,549
- For four point two million dollars.
- She must be window shopping.
389
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:24,260
- She doesn't have that kind of money.
- She had a letter pre-qualifying her
390
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:28,347
from the bank. Look, Roy Toy hasn't
seen any other woman but his ex.
391
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,932
She's looking at houses
she can't afford.
392
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:32,434
She's blasting Sharlee
and defending him.
393
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,228
He's having an affair with Debbi Ann.
394
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,064
Why would he have an affair
with the same woman he left for Sharlee
395
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,942
- in the first place?
- Why do men do any things they do?
396
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:43,821
You think it's inconceivable that he
might actually be in love with her?
397
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:46,240
Oh, God, Farber, you're living
in a Reese Witherspoon movie.
398
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:49,910
- I prefer a Jane Austen novel.
- Kids! Prove he's having the affair.
399
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:51,871
That is a great cover.
400
00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:54,123
And take Don with you. He's available.
401
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:58,085
OK. I can't believe Lili Steiner
came through for you. It's so unfair.
402
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:10,973
See, I don't think I can get it.
He's a total phone freak.
403
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:14,810
- And he never puts it down.
- Only need it for a couple of minutes.
404
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:18,981
Now, do you want
chocolate or strawberry milk?
405
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,901
- Strawberry.
- OK.
406
00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:26,322
Anything digital can be tracked.
Willa, at work,
407
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:29,199
said you can hack into the card
and pull it up on the computer.
408
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:32,161
The government does it all the time.
And they know all kinds of stuff.
409
00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:36,123
You know, I thought
they knew stuff until 9/11.
410
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,167
They don't know shit
about what's going on.
411
00:23:38,334 --> 00:23:40,836
Oh, they know. I was being watched.
412
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,339
You were?
413
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,884
No. I don't know.
414
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,971
I'm schizophrenic. But I'm taking shots.
I'm getting better.
415
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,098
Yeah.
416
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:59,146
You know, I know what it's like
to be watched all the time.
417
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:03,943
- It's pretty scary.
- Whether it's real or not.
418
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:10,157
Do you think that Roy's
gonna find out what you're doing?
419
00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:14,828
I don't have to do it.
420
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:20,876
I want to know.
421
00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:25,631
OK.
422
00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:33,055
Have them send an arrangement
to my mother tomorrow.
423
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,684
It's her birthday. Make sure there's
lots of lilies. She's allergic.
424
00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,018
Wow.
425
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:44,400
- Hi. I'm Genevieve.
- I know who you are.
426
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:48,237
Hi. Lucy Spiller.
I just am shocked to see you here.
427
00:24:48,362 --> 00:24:51,240
We don't get visitors of your kind,
just the occasional process server.
428
00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:54,618
Yeah, we just wanted to set
the record straight... about us.
429
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:57,621
- What about you?
- We had sex during our shoot.
430
00:24:57,746 --> 00:25:01,875
We couldn't help it. We're out
of our minds for each other. Right?
431
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,717
How would you...? OK. How would you
like to do an interview right now?
432
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:13,637
- All you had to do is ask.
- Great. My office is right in there.
433
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:15,764
- Let's go.
- Is that a plastic shirt?
434
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,349
Yeah and neoprene.
435
00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:31,280
OK.
436
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:34,575
Here. Here it is. Please hurry.
437
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:37,286
He's just reading Romy Pat the Bunny.
438
00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:41,707
It's so weird. He's just playing with
her and acting like everything's fine.
439
00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:45,085
I feel sick.
440
00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:49,423
Here. Just in case you get hungry.
441
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,467
Good. Thanks.
442
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:58,265
OK. Bye.
443
00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:05,397
It's nice to remember
why I got into the business.
444
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:09,651
Yeah, I wanted to prove that
good television wasn't an oxymoron.
445
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,320
- You know what I did today?
- What?
446
00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:13,989
Had corporate marketing
fusion integration meetings
447
00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:17,326
- with the parent company.
- Wow. No wonder you called so much.
448
00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:19,828
Yeah, by the way,
thanks for taking my calls.
449
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,122
Oh, I'm sorry, I was swamped.
450
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,500
Don't even try
and pull that off with me.
451
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:27,002
If you want to take a call,
you take a call.
452
00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:29,671
Look, you don't need to run away.
All right? There's no pressure here.
453
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:33,759
At all. I just, you know,
I like being with you.
454
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:38,472
You, my friend, are a great salesman.
455
00:26:43,644 --> 00:26:45,646
You left your phone on the counter.
456
00:26:47,189 --> 00:26:49,024
Oh, my God. I'm a genius.
457
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:52,319
Bye, baby. Daddy loves you.
458
00:26:57,241 --> 00:27:00,160
- Bye.
- Whatever, yo.
459
00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:03,038
Ouch.
460
00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:16,176
Hey, do you want to go to the
Hollywood Gold Awards with me?
461
00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:20,013
It would actually be
kind of fun if I went with you.
462
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:24,184
Hello?
463
00:27:27,396 --> 00:27:29,565
Sure.
464
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:33,193
- Don't sound so excited.
- What?
465
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:51,420
Brayden, if you don't sit on the potty,
you're going to peeps the bed.
466
00:27:51,545 --> 00:27:55,090
One more thing about that goddamn
potty, and I'm gonna shoot myself.
467
00:27:56,466 --> 00:28:00,679
Brayden! Roy, can you just go get him
and put him on the potty, please?
468
00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:02,973
I'm serious. Get me a gun.
469
00:28:03,098 --> 00:28:04,141
He doesn't have to go.
470
00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:07,436
Well, put a Pull-Up on him then,
if he doesn't have to go now.
471
00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:17,237
I know he's a cheater,
but he seems like a good dad.
472
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,531
I mean, most guys cheat anyway, right?
473
00:28:19,656 --> 00:28:22,993
I don't know.
Maybe you just choose guys who cheat.
474
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,661
No, I don't.
475
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,333
Maybe I do.
476
00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:43,472
Holy shit! They're having an affair.
477
00:28:44,264 --> 00:28:45,682
Not nice.
478
00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:48,685
Unbelievable. I don't understand.
479
00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:50,812
You don't have to understand.
480
00:28:52,189 --> 00:28:53,899
Is that a tattoo on her ass?
481
00:28:56,109 --> 00:28:57,152
"Roy's Toy."
482
00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:59,488
Well, that seals it. We got it.
483
00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,490
No, no, let's keep watching.
484
00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:06,328
Don, that's gross.
Do it on your own time.
485
00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:07,871
Wait, wait, wait...
486
00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:11,333
Seriously? Rent a video or something.
Let's go.
487
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:12,668
It's my job.
488
00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:20,509
No wonder I like bad boys.
489
00:29:21,343 --> 00:29:24,638
Why can't we live together now?
You already moved out.
490
00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:28,016
Babe, if we lived together now,
it's gonna look funky.
491
00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:32,145
Well, then you should have stayed
married to her for another year.
492
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:34,982
We could have gotten
another million out of her.
493
00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:39,861
Oh, my God. His whole marriage
to Sharlee was a complete scam!
494
00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:42,572
What an asshole! This is fantastic!
495
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:45,659
The truth always comes out
in the afterglow.
496
00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:48,537
Just be patient.
497
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:52,040
You know, you're kind of spooky,
in a good way.
498
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,460
So are you.
499
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,717
You couldn't make this Roy Toy stuff up.
Nobody would believe it.
500
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:04,511
Never underestimate the truly greedy.
501
00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:10,225
- Who is that?
- Bond. James Bond.
502
00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:11,893
- Hi, Graham.
- Hey.
503
00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:16,064
You did a great job on the Holt McLaren
photos. You really captured the moment.
504
00:30:16,189 --> 00:30:18,275
Thank you. That's brilliant.
505
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,944
I mean, they really liked each other,
so that made it easier for me.
506
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:22,654
Great.
507
00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:25,073
Sorry. Excuse me.
508
00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:26,783
Elaine.
509
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,454
Darling, how are you?
510
00:30:30,996 --> 00:30:33,081
Yeah, probably about ten minutes.
511
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:35,083
All right, see you there.
512
00:30:35,208 --> 00:30:38,086
Elaine Bass?
Another assignment with Icon?
513
00:30:38,253 --> 00:30:40,756
No, no, just a quick coffee.
514
00:30:40,922 --> 00:30:42,924
Right. All right,
well, I'll call you later.
515
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:45,427
I'll look forward to that. Cheers.
516
00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:52,059
I don't want to tell you.
517
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,312
You have to.
518
00:30:56,646 --> 00:30:58,523
It's not good.
519
00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:00,609
It's not good.
520
00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:04,446
Will you play with my hair, Don?
521
00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:14,039
It's Debbi Ann.
522
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:15,832
They never really broke up.
523
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,876
They planned it to get your money.
524
00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:22,881
What do you mean?
525
00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:35,727
He married you,
but he never really left her.
526
00:31:38,814 --> 00:31:40,399
But we had Romy.
527
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:48,490
No, he...
528
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:51,910
He loved me.
529
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:57,499
We were... We were in love.
530
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:01,503
You were.
531
00:32:03,964 --> 00:32:06,007
I'm sorry.
532
00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:09,511
I saw them.
533
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:14,224
These are pictures.
534
00:32:14,349 --> 00:32:15,851
They're yours.
535
00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:18,478
Give them to your lawyer or whatever.
536
00:32:19,855 --> 00:32:22,190
You're a good friend.
537
00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:24,734
You're a really good friend.
538
00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:30,157
- Thank you.
- Are you OK?
539
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,534
Thank you so much.
540
00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:36,580
Thank you, Don.
541
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,375
Sharlee, I'm worried about you.
542
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,669
Thank you, Don.
543
00:32:44,713 --> 00:32:46,339
Thank you.
544
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:52,804
You keep some, Don.
545
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:55,390
Sell it on the Internet
if you need some money.
546
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,405
What did I do?
547
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:20,499
I don't want it on me!
548
00:33:21,875 --> 00:33:24,419
Help me get it out!
549
00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:48,193
Hey, Don!
550
00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:53,615
It's me!
551
00:33:53,782 --> 00:33:55,659
Coming.
552
00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:05,961
- Jason, you came.
- Yep.
553
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:08,880
Well, let me help.
Here, let me get that.
554
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,549
Thanks.
555
00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:30,819
- I need you, Donny.
- I'm here. I'm here.
556
00:34:35,365 --> 00:34:37,450
I like your place.
557
00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:39,578
I'm going to get some blinds.
558
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:43,540
The kind they deliver and fix in,
you know, three days.
559
00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:48,211
Sorry about the smell.
I dropped some chemicals.
560
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:50,338
No, that's OK.
I'm taking a shitload of them.
561
00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:53,466
- Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
- You look good.
562
00:34:54,175 --> 00:34:55,760
You lost weight.
563
00:34:56,052 --> 00:35:00,223
There's some cheese
and some salami in the refrigerator.
564
00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,895
Hey, where are you going?
565
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:09,441
I got to deliver some photographs
to Lucy.
566
00:35:09,566 --> 00:35:12,444
- I just got here.
- Yeah, I'm sorry. You know...
567
00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:16,573
Bathroom's just right around the bend
right here, and here's the couch.
568
00:35:16,698 --> 00:35:20,702
And this... this is Tristan 2.
569
00:35:20,994 --> 00:35:22,120
He'll keep you company.
570
00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:28,335
All right, well,
let's catch up when you get back.
571
00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:31,379
When I get back, we'll catch up.
It'll be good.
572
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:35,216
It's great, I can't believe it.
573
00:35:43,183 --> 00:35:48,521
Congratulations... on breaking the
Roy story. So glad I could help.
574
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:51,232
And I'm so glad that I could steer you
in the right direction
575
00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:55,320
- with Zach and Genevieve.
- How about that?
576
00:35:55,862 --> 00:35:57,447
They really do love each other.
577
00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:00,950
Yes, you were right.
578
00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:03,912
- You're an unadulterated romantic.
- Unadulterated?
579
00:36:04,037 --> 00:36:06,623
That's a lot of syllables.
Don't hurt yourself.
580
00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:10,251
Listen, because of me
you found a great place to live.
581
00:36:10,377 --> 00:36:12,712
You should be kissing my ass.
582
00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:16,383
Could I start with your lips?
583
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:21,971
- Farber, was that a first move?
- Yeah, it was.
584
00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:44,869
No. No, not in there. Skeletons.
585
00:36:52,669 --> 00:36:55,797
- Hey, where you been?
- Here.
586
00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:06,641
Oh, sweet Lord.
587
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,601
Don, these are phenomenal.
588
00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:13,273
- No one else has these?
- Nope. That was just me and her.
589
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:17,652
You are a god.
590
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,156
This cover is going to kill.
591
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:22,991
I hate it.
592
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,579
Lucy, why can't we help her?
593
00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:32,459
Because we're not her doctor,
her family or her friends.
594
00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:36,212
Oh, I can only be her friend when you
want me to be? That's not right.
595
00:37:36,546 --> 00:37:41,301
Don, celebrities sign up
to be a part of this circus.
596
00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:43,261
When a clown puts
on a big red rubber nose,
597
00:37:43,386 --> 00:37:46,139
he's expecting people
to point and laugh.
598
00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:48,933
God knows what they'd do
if we stopped watching.
599
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:52,520
- It's not right, though.
- Oh, it's not right?
600
00:37:52,645 --> 00:37:55,857
Don, you're getting healthier so now
you're developing a conscience?
601
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:57,275
It's perfect.
602
00:38:00,987 --> 00:38:04,032
You can't control me
and you don't like that, do you?
603
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:09,370
Loving people
is not about controlling them! OK?
604
00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:11,456
That's not what it's about!
605
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:47,325
What are you doing?
606
00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:50,870
I'm glad you're here.
607
00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:53,164
I probably shouldn't be.
608
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:11,850
What is this thing?
609
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:14,853
I don't know.
I just want to be with you.
610
00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:16,813
Me, too.
611
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:24,946
You know, maybe
we should just start over.
612
00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:29,117
Because I want
to get it right this time.
613
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,412
We got some of it right.
614
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:39,711
Lucy Spiller, would you like
to go on a date with me?
615
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:42,213
Yes, I would.
616
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,300
How about the...
617
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:48,970
...the Hollywood Gold Awards?
618
00:39:49,137 --> 00:39:53,141
We can't do that. Besides,
I'm already going with someone.
619
00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:58,563
So, we're still seeing other people?
620
00:39:59,606 --> 00:40:01,733
Yeah, but I'll be thinking about you.
621
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,652
Can this count as our first date?
622
00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:08,448
No, I think we just started over.
623
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:11,868
So I wouldn't invite you in
or anything? No.
624
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,038
That would be too soon.
It might scare me off.
625
00:40:15,163 --> 00:40:18,750
No, I wouldn't want to do that. No.
626
00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:24,297
I'd love to kiss you good night, though.
627
00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,012
Me, too.