1 00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:02,753 Previously on Dirt: 2 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,134 Hi, Lucy. 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,599 - Julia, what are you doing here? - You ruined my life. 4 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,897 I was thinking about that article you wrote. 5 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,775 It was actually pretty good. 6 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,695 But I have some cuts. 7 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,718 You reap what you sow, Lucy. 8 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:41,018 Guess that whole "reaping what you sow" thing works both ways. 9 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:45,480 Hey, it's me again, Don Konkey. Dirt Now's resident schizophrenic... 10 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:49,192 - Dad, I think it's time. - ...and photographer. 11 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,321 I take photos of celebrities and I sell them to my best friend and boss, 12 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,824 Lucy Spiller, the editor of Dirt Now magazine. 13 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,744 So much to catch you up on, so try and keep up. 14 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,789 It all started when Holt McLaren sold info to Lucy about Kira being pregnant. 15 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,959 After Lucy broke the story, Kira OD'd and died. 16 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:10,339 After hearing about Kira's death, Holt freaked out and flipped his car 17 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,591 with his girlfriend, big star Julia Mallory, 18 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,344 and that's when things got really complicated. 19 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,347 - Lucy and Holt kind of had sex... - Oh, God! 20 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,683 ...a lot. Julia started sliding into the world of drugs and sex... 21 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,186 Jesus Christ, Julia, what the hell are you doing? 22 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,272 ...and then leaked her own sex tape, then claimed she was raped. 23 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,733 She'd have gotten away with it if Lucy hadn't have found out 24 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,902 - and published the truth. - This is a great cover. 25 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:37,741 I'm really worried about her. She's been in a coma now for two weeks. 26 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,576 I'm all she has left. 27 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:43,955 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 28 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,420 Anyway, I'm just really hoping Lucy wakes up... 29 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,589 ...and things get back to normal. 30 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,679 You're all right, Lucy. 31 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,931 Yeah, you're all right. 32 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:48,895 You're OK. You got hurt, but now you're OK. 33 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,480 You're safe. 34 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:58,405 You're all right, Miss Spiller. You're all right. 35 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,992 She's trying to say something. 36 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,332 - I think she's asking for her mother. - No, no, no, no. Listen. 37 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,253 The cover... 38 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,257 Cover... 39 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,943 This is great. It should be a sidebar. 40 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,364 OK, lose the drop cap on this one. We're not The New Yorker. 41 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,117 I've asked for the sales numbers twice. What's up? 42 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:47,037 - Terry's bringing them over. - Bringing them over? Call her. 43 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,664 - She needs to rest. - No, no, no, Don... 44 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,041 Go. 45 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,086 - Don, I'm fine. - Because you've been getting rest. 46 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,012 - How's the injection going? - OK... 47 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,849 They mix the drugs with sesame oil to cause it to time-release. 48 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,269 Just regular sesame oil. Like a stir-fry. 49 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,899 Don't... No, don't... 50 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,031 I can't believe I'm looking at you. 51 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,994 You know, I knew you were here the whole time. 52 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,039 I could feel you. 53 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,253 But tonight, Don, you gotta go home. You do. 54 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,671 You gotta sleep in your own bed. 55 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:41,758 I don't care how many pizza boxes or newspapers are piled on it. 56 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,679 - You gotta go home. - OK. Come on, have some tea. 57 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,722 Oh, thank you. 58 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,101 That hurts. 59 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:56,147 How are you doing, buddy? You're getting bigger all the time. 60 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,409 - Holt McLaren. - Don Konkey. 61 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,578 David Fincher described you as 62 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,247 "an actor possessed" and "deeply instinctual." 63 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,418 The movie tracked well with men 18 to 34 and even better with women. 64 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,129 - That's good to know. - While your reviews were excellent, 65 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,132 the movie probably won't receive a nomination 66 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,843 because it's considered a genre film. 67 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,970 Listen, man, can I come in? 68 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:31,349 - Who told you where I live? - A woman 18 to 34. 69 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,311 Right. Yeah. 70 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,649 I don't have any beer. 71 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,777 You drink Bud, Corona, Rolling Rock. 72 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,488 - I do have some cheese, however. - What's that smell? 73 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:46,948 My cat. 74 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,829 So did you tell her I tried to visit her? 75 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,205 Yeah. 76 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,124 No. 77 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,460 She needs to rest. 78 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,755 Don, I miss her. 79 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,592 And you're the only one that knows, so could you just tell her I miss her? 80 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,678 - Please? - OK. 81 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:12,599 - How's she doing? - She thinks she's better than she is. 82 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:17,145 - Yeah. Is she coming home soon? - Two weeks, if there's no infection. 83 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,105 Infection's the killer with this type of wound. 84 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,776 - She can't get an infection. - But she's pretty alert, though? 85 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,236 She's Lucy. She's very alert. 86 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,324 All right. 87 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,872 - Spiller? - Yeah. Animal therapy. Hug A Pet. 88 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,792 - Is that a Bearded Collie? - It sure is. 89 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:42,671 - Would you like to say hello? - Yeah. Hi. What's his name? 90 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,382 - This is Bugsy. - Hi, Bugsy. Hi, baby. 91 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,467 So, how'd you know? Nobody ever guesses the breed. 92 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,636 Because I used to have one when I was in high school. 93 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,221 Best dog I ever had. 94 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:54,307 - Spiller... Are you Lucy Spiller? - Yeah, I am. 95 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,434 Oh, my God. 96 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,562 - What a... It's a terrible story. - You should see the other guy. 97 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,649 Man, she just went crazy? 98 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,611 - I guess so. - Was it just because you wrote 99 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,363 that article about her or... 100 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,033 - Your dog looks pretty thirsty. - Oh, no, she's fine. 101 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,912 Wow, that's pretty good. 102 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,373 You're the only reporter who's made it into the room. 103 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,499 What? No... 104 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,418 Miles, let's give the police department a call, OK? 105 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:24,546 - Or I could deal with him. - No, look... You're right. 106 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,673 But I'm not a tabloid reporter. I work for the LA Weekly. 107 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,759 My name is Farber Kauffman. I'm a freelancer. OK? 108 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,763 I just graduated from Columbia Journalism four months ago. Please. 109 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,766 Why would the pretentious snobs who read the Weekly 110 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,686 - care what goes on at a tabloid? - I pitched it as this kind of 111 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,981 cultural endgame story. Tabloid culture killed Julia Mallory, 112 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,442 but not before she tried to kill the tabloid queen. 113 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,236 - You know, that sort of thing. - First of all, yawn. 114 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:52,782 And the murder attempt. It seemed personal, almost sexual. 115 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:57,120 Why did she go to your house, get inside and stab you repeatedly? 116 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,039 I mean, that's the kind of violent action 117 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,750 that one takes against their intimate. 118 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,961 That's interesting, if it were true. 119 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:08,381 But crazy people imagine they know you better than they do. 120 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:13,011 Kauffman. You're the one who wrote the piece on the Russian Mafia last month. 121 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,305 That was good. 122 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,934 What do you say I triple whatever you're making and put you on staff? 123 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,313 You want me to dig through Lindsay Lohan's garbage for a living? 124 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,524 Come on, give it a shot. If you don't like it, walk away. 125 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,527 Or Miles could give you a lift to booking. 126 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,040 You're getting so big, buddy. 127 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,835 There's hardly room for both of us in the bed anymore. 128 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,130 Is there? 129 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,868 You know what "normal" means, Don? 130 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,622 It means your cat doesn't talk to you. 131 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:26,876 Well, I guess your right, but what happens...? 132 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,586 Goodbye, Don. 133 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,932 Goodbye, buddy. 134 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,244 - Wow. You just get bigger. - I feel like shit. 135 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,829 Did you give Barrow the changes? 136 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,581 - Yeah. - Can I have your pudding? 137 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,712 No, honey, I love the pudding. You can have the apple sauce. 138 00:11:06,812 --> 00:11:08,710 - OK. - Let me see the sales numbers. 139 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,962 All right, I told Barrow he should bring these over himself. 140 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,922 No one wanted to tell you. 141 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,427 - What's Icon? - We probably should have lied. 142 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,762 - What is Icon Magazine? - You need to rest, Lucy. 143 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,265 No! What the hell is Icon Magazine? 144 00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:26,490 - Is that the cover? - Yeah, I don't think that Barrow 145 00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:28,313 - really incorporated your notes. - Please give it to me. 146 00:11:28,475 --> 00:11:31,274 - He's kind of losing it. - Give it... God! 147 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:34,861 - Don! Don, give it to me! - No, no! Lucy, you shouldn't. 148 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,571 She shouldn't. I mean, you shouldn't be doing this, 149 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,033 shouldn't be trying to run a magazine out of a hospital bedroom! 150 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:44,245 You know, you almost died! And they said that I should be prepared for the worst! 151 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,372 You know, "She could die, your friend could die." 152 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,958 - Don... - Or slip into a permanent persistent 153 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:52,128 vegetative state, and then eventually you would have to pull the plug 154 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,881 because there's no point in going on when people... 155 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,674 Don! 156 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,804 Don... are you all right? 157 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,473 Let me have it. 158 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,642 It's OK. 159 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,477 It's OK. 160 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,396 - I'm OK. - I'm sorry. 161 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,482 I'm sorry. 162 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,697 - You can have my pudding. - Thanks. 163 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,576 Thank you. 164 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,630 You're kidding, right? You've got to be kidding me! 165 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,300 Oh, Christ! My freaking water broke. 166 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,680 Great. Wipe it up with that. 167 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,182 I just don't know what they were thinking. 168 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,811 Miss Spiller. Miss Spiller, first of all, you should be in a wheel chair. 169 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,480 Yeah, you should be in this hospital for at least another week. 170 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,232 Miss Spiller, this is not just hospital rules. 171 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,150 If you walk out of here, you could risk infection... 172 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,696 If I can survive whatever's lurking in Don's car, I can survive anything. 173 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,371 Hi. 174 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,167 Hello, everyone. Vacation's over. 175 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:25,888 Hey, Brent. 176 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,350 - Spiller. You're... - Alive. 177 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:34,522 Well, yeah. I thought you were out for another couple of weeks. 178 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,441 - Are you back for good? - Looks like it. 179 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,609 Oh, thank God. 180 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,156 I humbly relinquish my throne. 181 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,533 I just... I would like to say, everybody, 182 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,579 this has been the most humbling experience of my life. 183 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,164 - Me, too. - Really? 184 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,915 More than that whole underage sex thing? 185 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,584 - Well... 186 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,169 - Yeah. - We'll save the tears 187 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,963 and the group hugs for later. Right now we have a magazine to rescue. 188 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,591 Oh, and this is Farber Kauffman. He's a staff reporter 189 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,509 who will be gunning for all of your jobs. 190 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,179 - Hey. - I mean, really? 191 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,931 That's what you came up with? After my notes? 192 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,517 And after the last two Julia Mallory covers tanked? 193 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,728 - Well, they didn't tank... - No? 194 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,063 - They got beat. - Yeah, here, here. 195 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,981 Let me see it. 196 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,234 Well, they just ripped off our design and did a better cover. 197 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,944 I mean, look at it. It's great. 198 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:25,281 They found a publicity shot of Julia Mallory holding a knife. 199 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,825 Where the hell was my photo department? 200 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,121 Wow, this is pathetic. This story just dropped in our laps. 201 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,792 In my gut! And this is the best... 202 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,335 ...the best you can do? 203 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,383 We need to move on. Is that clear? 204 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:47,095 We need to find a new story where we define the curve. 205 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,013 Hello? Is this thing on? 206 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,307 Willa? 207 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,935 Oh, God, well... 208 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,312 ...we could do a Julia Mallory cover 209 00:14:56,479 --> 00:15:00,942 with... with... a reenactment. 210 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,152 You know, we could do it with photos... 211 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,947 It's so much worse than I thought. 212 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,073 Spiller. 213 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,742 - Lucy, should I just be following you? - That one's yours. 214 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,370 - Excuse me, that is my desk! - I know. 215 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:18,918 Oh, well, this is bullshit, 216 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:22,630 bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. 217 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,007 Has Martina Linn had her baby yet? 218 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,843 No, she's still in the hospital on bed rest. 219 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,846 Why is she on bed rest? To try to keep her away from the Mai Tais? 220 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,015 It's true, God does write the best soap operas. 221 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,805 - Farber, do you know this story? - Yeah, a little. 222 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,060 Catch him up. 223 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,728 Alrighty then. 224 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:41,190 Chapter One: cheap gold-digger, Martina Linn, 225 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:45,027 stripper/model, marries 68-year-old Ukrainian oil tycoon. 226 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,948 - He gets poisoned by the Russian mob. - The prince dies, the princess cries 227 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:53,327 - and she inherits a lot of money. - Right, exactly. So, Chapter Two: 228 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,496 His mob buddies say that it's their money. 229 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,999 So she hires Keith Straub, sleazy lawyer guy, 230 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,251 who says that he can get the money back from the Russians 231 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:03,171 - without getting her killed. - And let me guess. They fall in love. 232 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,381 Yeah. He's having a kid with her so that he can make sure 233 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,134 - that he's tied to her 300 mil. - So everyone's gonna cover this 234 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,846 as "gold-digger makes good." But she is more than that. 235 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,724 When the nuclear blast hits, it's just gonna be her and the cockroaches. 236 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,602 - So chapter three is the baby? - Now, when this baby drops, 237 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,395 we better own this story. 238 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,067 And have my office painted. I've seen enough red. 239 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,153 Willa, do you have anything yet? 240 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,405 - Since three minutes ago? - All right, go talk to her. 241 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,574 She never met a reporter she didn't like. 242 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,075 - Lucy. - What? 243 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:36,162 - I just wanted to tell you something. - What? 244 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:39,582 When I first started working here, I thought that I could do your job 245 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,751 if I could just... sort of be you. 246 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,045 You know, but when you were in the hospital, 247 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,173 I had a chance to take on as much of the responsibility for this magazine 248 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:50,426 - as I ever dreamed and... - And what? 249 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,220 Well, I just... I couldn't do it. 250 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,264 I mean, I can dress like you, I can act like you, 251 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:59,936 but it's gonna take a long time before I can run a magazine like you. 252 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,730 That's sweet. 253 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,690 Did you rehearse that? 254 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,109 Yeah. 255 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,698 - Hey, Don. - Hey, Lucy. 256 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,326 - Are you done yet? - I'm still here in Dr. Shalba's office. 257 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,995 - OK, I'll be right there. - No, no, no. 258 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,123 - You don't have to, I'm OK. - Don, I'm on my way. 259 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,000 - I'm good. - All right, bye. 260 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,293 Bye. 261 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,462 Oh, Willa? 262 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,298 - Hi. Keith Straub. - Hi. 263 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,384 How are you? Good to see you. This is Chad. 264 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,303 - I'm the son that doesn't matter. - OK. Kids... 265 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,139 - Yeah. - And this, of course, 266 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:40,977 - is the stunning Martina Linn. - Shut up, Keith. I look like a whale. 267 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,896 I can't wait for my C-section. 268 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,732 It's so nice to meet you all. 269 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,818 Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me. 270 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,736 Lucy wanted to be here in person, 271 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,114 but she's just out of the hospital herself, so... 272 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,491 No problem, sweetie. We're just thrilled that you're interested 273 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,994 - in the baby pictures. - All the magazines are interested, 274 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,415 - but... the more the merrier. - Well, Lucy wants to do a cover, 275 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:07,128 a whole issue, really, about how love triumphs over tragedy and adversity. 276 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:10,381 - That's sweet. - Yeah. 277 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,550 Are there any wedding bells in your future? 278 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:15,469 No, no, no. I've been married twice before 279 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,805 and both times it was a disaster. 280 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,808 I love Keith way too much to put that curse on him. 281 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,353 This baby is our bond of love. You can quote us on that. 282 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,564 Do you know that he got me my inheritance 283 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,399 without me ending up in the Dumpster? 284 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,860 - Wow. - He is my savior and my true love. 285 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,321 That's another good quote. Speaking of the story, 286 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:37,199 let's get back to the baby pictures. So we're at 750 287 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:41,787 - for the exclusive set right now. - Wow. That's pretty high. 288 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,207 - No shit. - Chaddie, would you go get me a soda? 289 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,629 Yes, Mama. Right away, Mama. Anything for you, Mama. 290 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,257 It was really nice to meet you, Chad. 291 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,886 Yeah. You, too. Yeah. 292 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,388 - Hi, Don. - Hi, Dr. Shalba. 293 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,141 How are you feeling today, Don? 294 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,810 - Weird. - "Weird" how? 295 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:11,233 Well, I... I say "weird" because I'm starting to feel normal. 296 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,695 And I haven't felt normal for a long time. 297 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:16,947 It feels weird. 298 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:20,660 Well, we'll keep an eye on those feelings of normalcy. 299 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:23,454 - They can be pretty scary. - Yeah. 300 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,624 Schizophrenia serves a purpose for people who suffer from it. 301 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:31,087 The hallucinations, the flights of psychosis actually help 302 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:35,174 lessen the pain and intensity of everyday experience. 303 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,343 - Do you follow? - I do. 304 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,513 But I think it's great that we're trying this. 305 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,188 OK. 306 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,609 I'm gonna give you the shot now, all right? 307 00:19:56,737 --> 00:20:00,616 And we'll make sure your "normal" doesn't get too weird. 308 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,827 - Dr. Shalba? - Yes, Don? 309 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,954 Those African masks, 310 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,039 they never really spoke, did they? 311 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,083 No, Don. They never spoke. 312 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,168 I'll see you in a couple of weeks, OK? 313 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,340 Wow. 314 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:28,978 Hey, come here! 315 00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,980 You ungrateful bitch! 316 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:34,233 - Holy shit. - This is the thanks that I get? 317 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,153 Don, is that Sharlee Cates? Sharlee Cates! 318 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,609 - Oh, yeah. - Get your camera out. 319 00:20:38,784 --> 00:20:39,613 - OK. - Hurry! 320 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,576 - OK! I'm hurrying. - Get the shot. What is on her face? 321 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:46,829 - What is she actually doing? - No. No, no good. 322 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,081 - No good? - I'm sorry. 323 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:56,922 - Sharlee Cates would be a great get. - Please, Lucy, Lucy... 324 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,055 No, Lucy, please... 325 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,477 Get it, Don! 326 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,061 What are you doing?! 327 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:13,856 I'm gonna kill you! Freaking move! 328 00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,859 Get away! Move! 329 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:21,614 You freaking paparazzi piece of shit! I'll hit you! Move! 330 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,660 Piece of shit! 331 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,165 You're crazy. 332 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,880 Oh, shit. I popped a staple. 333 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:41,759 - No... - It's OK. That was great. 334 00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:44,553 I'm going to say another week of bed rest at the very minimum. 335 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,806 - All right. - Doctor, Karla is freaking 336 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,641 in Radiology. You need to get up there. 337 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:51,519 - Why? What is Karla's problem? - All I know is that she is shouting 338 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:55,272 - your name like she was on fire. - You want finish dressing this? 339 00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:01,487 You're the magazine lady, Lucy Spiller? 340 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:05,366 - I am. - You guys buy stories, right? 341 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,993 - Depends. - Well, nobody's got this one. 342 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:11,163 Martina Linn's son, Chad, is in the hospital. 343 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:14,583 - How am I doing? - Don, you got cash? 344 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,253 - Underpants. - Go on. 345 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:20,756 My friend at St. Edmunds said it was a massive overdose. 346 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,925 - Dead? - Coma. 347 00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:25,928 She's a tragedy magnet, that one. 348 00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:29,431 Chapter Three. 349 00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:38,148 It's Chad Linn. Tell Lucy Spiller I got the real story for her. 350 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,193 About the old man, murder, sex, betrayal, everything. 351 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,654 But I want to get paid good. Hit me back, blondie. 352 00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:44,780 When did this come in? 353 00:22:45,155 --> 00:22:46,574 About an hour before they said he OD'd. 354 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,159 - I thought he was clean. - Yeah, apparently not so much. 355 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:52,121 What is this "real story" he's talking about? 356 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,123 Do I need to call this in to the LAPD? 357 00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,709 So they can screw it up? No. 358 00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:59,211 Don's on the hospital, let's see what happens. 359 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:02,715 All right, I gave the floor nurse 500 bucks so that she'd keep everybody out 360 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,967 - while I talked to Martina. - Go give her a grand. 361 00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,343 - What for? - Because we need her. 362 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:09,013 - Tell her it's a down payment. - All right. 363 00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:12,975 Bob Woodward, see what you can find out about Sharlee Cates and this broad. 364 00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:14,810 - These are great. - Thank you. 365 00:23:14,977 --> 00:23:18,063 I got the pictures of the kid in the coma. 366 00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:21,609 And I got a copy of his medical chart. 367 00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:24,653 It said he OD'd on methadone. 368 00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:26,655 Methadone? 369 00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:30,284 What addict accidently overdoses on methadone? 370 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:32,995 They're calling it a suicide. 371 00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,207 Something's not right. 372 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:43,047 You don't call wanting a payday when you're planning to kill yourself. 373 00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:47,885 - Easy. - OK. 374 00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:52,389 Wow. 375 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:58,604 I guess somebody, you know, knew he would talk 376 00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:00,981 and messed with his dosage. 377 00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:04,109 Looks like we've got Chapter Four. 378 00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,821 That's great, Don. You feeling good? 379 00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:13,661 No, but I'm feeling normal. 380 00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:20,709 Willa, hi. Wake up. 381 00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:24,213 I need you to get every bit of audio you can find on Chad Linn. 382 00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,256 Get our web guy to help you out. 383 00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:28,509 OK, I need it by tomorrow. Thanks. 384 00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:38,560 You need to rest. 385 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,534 - Getting it done? - Oh, yeah. 386 00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:55,995 Yeah, we're getting there. Slowly. 387 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,288 Young Chad wasn't the most articulate guy in town. 388 00:24:58,414 --> 00:25:00,332 - Neither is the mom. - Oh, she had her baby. 389 00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:02,918 - Really? - Yeah. Eight pounds, 11 ounces. 390 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,586 Baby Lindee. C-section. 391 00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:07,339 Well, if it takes after the mom, four of the eight pounds are tits. 392 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:08,757 Is she photo friendly? 393 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:11,593 - Yeah, total Gerber baby, apparently. - Oh, great. 394 00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:14,221 All right, tell photo to go up to 850. 395 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:17,349 McPherson, I want you to pay that nurse another five grand. 396 00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:21,103 Get something from the baby. I want a diaper, a hair, an ear. 397 00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:24,773 - Take it to Gateway Labs. - OK. Oh, Lucy, there's a guy... 398 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:28,027 Hello. Hi. Ms. Spiller. It's great to meet you. 399 00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:29,653 I was sent over by Media Helpers. 400 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:32,281 I think Claudia at HR spoke to you about the assistant job. 401 00:25:32,406 --> 00:25:33,574 - Yeah, yeah. - Yes. 402 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:36,535 - Let me have your resume. - OK. Here you go. 403 00:25:38,454 --> 00:25:40,247 OK. 404 00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:43,000 - Good, you went to college. - Yes. 405 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:46,128 You're a big guy. I like that. It makes me feel safe. 406 00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:47,629 Oh, great. That's great. 407 00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:50,340 Yeah, listen, I'm sorry to hear about your recent troubles. 408 00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:53,761 If there's anything that I can do to make things easier around here... 409 00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:58,599 - You know I'm a crazy bitch, right? - Yes, I have heard that you can be... 410 00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:01,310 It can be a bit of a challenge, but I'm certainly ready 411 00:26:01,477 --> 00:26:03,145 - to meet that challenge and... - That's fantastic. 412 00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:06,440 - Here, you can start right now. - Fantastic! Yes, great, thank you. 413 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:08,150 I wasn't really planning, but yes. 414 00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:10,486 Wait, your name is Kenny? 415 00:26:10,652 --> 00:26:13,697 - Yes, is that a problem? - Well, it was for the last guy. 416 00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:16,492 - What happened to the last guy? - He got shot in the head. 417 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,120 OK. 418 00:26:22,498 --> 00:26:23,832 - Harsh. - What? 419 00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:26,251 Harsh. I know. I know. Harsh. 420 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:28,170 - What are you doing? - I'm going to leave. 421 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,964 I just need a second. I just need a second. Harsh. 422 00:26:31,173 --> 00:26:33,050 I know. I know. I know. Harsh. 423 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,135 OK. 424 00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:38,388 OK. I'm good. 425 00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:40,891 I'm sorry, I just... I have this condition, 426 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:44,144 and I don't want to bore you with it, but this is the only thing that helps. 427 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:47,856 It's self-soothing. Otherwise I faint. 428 00:26:47,962 --> 00:26:49,775 So I'm going to go. Thank you so much for your time. 429 00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:52,169 I think you should stay. This could be fun. 430 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:54,071 Oh, excellent. 431 00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:58,242 Yes, yes, I think that it could be fun, and really when you think about it... 432 00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:02,079 - You've got to minimize the chatter. - Right. I'm sorry, I get nervous. 433 00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:04,164 That's... OK. Thank you. 434 00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:06,458 OK. Watch out for anthrax. 435 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:13,298 Harsh. 436 00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:17,719 Oh, Lucy. 437 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:21,390 So the lady Sharlee Cates was chasing was the mother of her assistant, 438 00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:24,726 Joanne Wentzel. Ex-assistant, rather. 439 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:27,688 Sharlee was chasing her ex-assistant's mother? 440 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:31,191 - Apparently. - Well, it's a dazzling story. Why? 441 00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:34,987 Well, the mother, Joanne, works at a dermatologist's office. Bad Botox? 442 00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:37,656 Sharlee Cates is 22, genius. 443 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,910 So I looked up your information, 444 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:44,705 which we're not supposed to do unless we're running a check for employers, 445 00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:48,917 but I do it all the time. New girlfriends, landlords, whatever. 446 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,712 Plus, this thing kicks ass over Google, so... 447 00:27:51,837 --> 00:27:55,757 Had a bit of a gambling problem in college? Yeah, it's a bummer. 448 00:27:55,924 --> 00:28:00,137 Uneven employment history and you work for Dirt Now, now. 449 00:28:00,262 --> 00:28:01,972 It always terrifies me how much information 450 00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:05,184 - potential employers have access to. - No, I know. It's crazy. 451 00:28:05,309 --> 00:28:06,768 Hey, how's it going, Emily? 452 00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:11,440 Yeah, I like how the piping is fitting with the... the slacks. 453 00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:13,567 Is that a... It's a choice. 454 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:16,653 Five DUIs, two kids, bikes to work. It's a sad story. 455 00:28:16,818 --> 00:28:18,918 - I don't know how she does it. - Did you find anything out 456 00:28:19,018 --> 00:28:21,450 - about Heather Wentzel, the assistant? - Why? 457 00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:23,493 Is this some kind of big Sharlee Cates scandal coming down? 458 00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:26,038 - All depends on you now, Lars. - Then you're shit out of luck. 459 00:28:26,163 --> 00:28:28,457 Heather Wentzel's boring. No arrests. 460 00:28:28,624 --> 00:28:31,627 And the Sharlee Cates gig was her first assistant job. So... 461 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:35,380 - What about the mom? - Joanne Wentzel. 462 00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:43,222 Yeah. She almost got fired because her employer, Alpha Pharmaceuticals, 463 00:28:43,347 --> 00:28:46,600 accused her of stealing quantities of prescription drugs to sell 464 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,186 to her clients. Turns out they couldn't prove anything 465 00:28:49,311 --> 00:28:51,855 because the file was closed, but it wasn't closed to us 466 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:54,775 because the mighty corporation sees all. 467 00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:59,154 I'm starting to see how this comes together. It's cool. Reporting. 468 00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:03,158 - So am I going to be in Dirt Now? - Well, wouldn't you get fired? 469 00:29:04,034 --> 00:29:07,412 Yeah, I guess. Can I be an anonymous source? 470 00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:10,165 No problem. 471 00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:14,211 Hey. The mother, Joanne Wentzel, was Sharlee's dealer. 472 00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:16,838 OK, got her daughter Heather hired as Sharlee's assistant. 473 00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:20,425 But when Joanne gets busted and stops getting Vicodin and Oxy for Sharlee, 474 00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:23,887 Sharlee freaked. OK, I'm basically two calls away from having it locked up 475 00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:27,349 - and double-sourced. - Wow. Not bad, Woodward. 476 00:29:27,516 --> 00:29:29,101 I know, right? 477 00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,853 So Sharlee Cates is a drug user? Could be. 478 00:29:31,979 --> 00:29:33,939 But no, no, no. For sure. OK, I confirmed with Heather, 479 00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:36,483 the assistant she fired, and I got the secondary source. 480 00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:39,861 - It's going to pass Legal for sure. - All right, well, it's interesting. 481 00:29:39,987 --> 00:29:43,323 - I'll definitely consider it, thanks. - That's it? 482 00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:45,993 Your writing could use some work. 483 00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:48,829 Willa, give it a pass? Dirt it up a little? 484 00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:50,330 You mean dumb it down? 485 00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:53,041 OK, let's see. 486 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:55,711 "She's the apotheosis of bubble-gum pop." 487 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,838 You're kidding, right? Any word on Chad Linn? 488 00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:01,633 No, still coma-boy, but I did get a tape for you. 489 00:30:01,722 --> 00:30:03,397 - Did your nurse come through? - I got a hair. 490 00:30:03,497 --> 00:30:07,039 Great. I want a lab report as soon as possible. I don't care what it costs. 491 00:30:10,726 --> 00:30:14,271 Chad wants to sell us the story. He says you tried to kill him. 492 00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:17,190 - Chaddie's awake? - I'm going to make you a deal. 493 00:30:17,316 --> 00:30:21,236 I'll tell your story. You can use the pages of Dirt to sway the jury. 494 00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,863 It's bullshit. I just saw him this morning. 495 00:30:22,988 --> 00:30:26,575 Ted Williams' head has a better chance of waking up. Sorry, baby. 496 00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:31,038 Well, he was up enough to ask the nurse to switch him to a more secure room. 497 00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:34,082 - You can ask the ICU. - You're full of shit. 498 00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,462 Let's see. 499 00:30:39,087 --> 00:30:43,216 Lucy, it's Chad Linn. I got a real story, but I want to get paid. 500 00:30:43,342 --> 00:30:47,387 Martina tried to make me die just like she poisoned the old man. 501 00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:49,556 What'd you do? Load his Diet Coke with methadone? 502 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,433 Don't say anything. 503 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:55,187 I don't know why you keep sticking up for her. She screwed you, too. 504 00:30:55,312 --> 00:30:57,126 OK, I think it's time you get the hell out of here. 505 00:30:57,251 --> 00:31:01,443 Fine. But if it were me and my baby girl was another man's, I'd want to know. 506 00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,863 What? That's bullshit. Go. 507 00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:08,241 Here you go. This is baby Lindee's DNA. 508 00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:13,747 There's a match to a very large Russian family, the Romanovs. 509 00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:16,041 Isn't that the name of your late husband? 510 00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:19,836 Keith, you're not the father. 511 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:22,464 She's not going to marry you. You're not going to get a dime. 512 00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:24,549 Keith, honey, honestly I would never... 513 00:31:24,674 --> 00:31:27,552 Don't. Don't. Don't. Do not bullshit me. 514 00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:30,472 So when were you going to get around to killing me? 515 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:33,517 That's so mean. Why would you say something so hurtful? 516 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:36,311 Spare me the theatrics, OK? This isn't one of your soft-porn movies. 517 00:31:36,478 --> 00:31:38,647 You poisoned your husband, you poisoned your child, it just stands to reason 518 00:31:38,814 --> 00:31:42,192 that I'm next. You can't let me live, can you? I know where the bodies are. 519 00:31:45,529 --> 00:31:49,116 Keith, honey, really it's just our word against hers. It don't mean nothing. 520 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:51,827 What about me, Martina? What do I get? 521 00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:56,248 Just anything you want. Just draw up the papers. I'll sign it. 522 00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:59,835 I love you. Now, you still love me? 523 00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:12,013 What are you going to do? 524 00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:15,308 I'm going to give away half my money as soon as he gets bored, 525 00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:20,230 - like they all eventually do. - If you say so. 526 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:24,484 - You've got no story here, you know. - Really? 527 00:32:24,818 --> 00:32:28,196 - How so? - Well, he's not going to talk 528 00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,407 because he'd implicate himself. 529 00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:33,702 And even if Chaddie does come out of his coma, 530 00:32:33,869 --> 00:32:37,706 well, he's a career addict. 531 00:32:37,831 --> 00:32:40,792 Breaks my heart. With a criminal history? 532 00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:44,671 He's not a very reliable witness. 533 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:48,258 Yeah, well, I'm not a DA. 534 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,386 I'm a reporter, and I'm pretty certain 535 00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:55,474 that I can report your confession in this interview. 536 00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:57,309 Yeah, well, knock yourself out. 537 00:32:58,518 --> 00:33:01,062 Really. Because I didn't say any of that. 538 00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:03,148 You know, Phil Spector, 539 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,900 he killed that woman. 540 00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:09,571 Shot her dead, confessed at the crime scene and what happened to him? 541 00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:16,411 And I have more money than him and Robert Blake and O.J. combined. 542 00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:30,008 - Miss Spiller, Sharlee Cates is here. - Move, ass-wipe. 543 00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:31,593 Harsh. 544 00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:35,847 I have a kid and a marriage, you know. I will sue. 545 00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:39,142 It all went through Legal. They're pretty confident. 546 00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:42,771 - But I'm not gonna run it. - What? 547 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:46,024 I want you to meet someone. 548 00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:49,528 - This is Don Konkey. - Hi, Sharlee. 549 00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:53,698 - That sounds like Donkey Kong. - Yeah, it's almost an anagram. 550 00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:58,286 Don Konkey. Donkey Kong. Except there's no "G" in Don Konkey. 551 00:33:58,453 --> 00:34:00,163 Don's going to be your personal photographer. 552 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:01,915 He'll need unfettered access. 553 00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,125 Oh, that means "lots." 554 00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:09,881 - I really liked Love Me Monday. - Thank you. 555 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:13,593 I mean, why have one sad, career-destroying cover 556 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:16,304 when we can have 20 happy, productive ones? 557 00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:39,369 I knew Julia Mallory. 558 00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:43,123 Not like best friends, but I knew her. 559 00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:48,128 Doesn't it make you nervous... 560 00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:52,507 ...to mess around with people's lives like this? 561 00:34:54,884 --> 00:34:57,554 Given everything that's happened? 562 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:09,566 No. 563 00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:13,612 Well... 564 00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:19,159 My fans don't want to see me as a druggie. So... 565 00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:23,538 Give me a call, Donkey Kong. 566 00:35:25,290 --> 00:35:27,125 Oh, I'm sorry. 567 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:31,296 Yeah, that'll be good. 568 00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:38,511 That's a $12,000 rug. I hope she's worth it. 569 00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:43,058 - Don't sweat it, dude. - Thank you, dude. 570 00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:46,478 You get that that story was just a prop 571 00:35:46,603 --> 00:35:49,064 for Lucy to use with Sharlee? And with you. 572 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:56,363 It still doesn't excuse some of your larger sins of metaphor and syntax 573 00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:58,657 - in this piece. - Oh, goody. 574 00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:00,909 Journalism class. Go ahead. 575 00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:04,954 "Last May at the Coliseum, Sharlee Cates literally ripped the hearts 576 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,999 out of the audience with her rendition of 'Hey, Jude'." 577 00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:10,835 Help me out here, Willa, what did she do, exactly? 578 00:36:10,919 --> 00:36:14,089 Did she descend into the crowd while singing 579 00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:17,175 and start tearing out their still-beating hearts 580 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:20,428 like some kind of Mayan priest at a ritual sacrifice? 581 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:24,015 I mean, I'm assuming you were a journalism major, 582 00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:26,434 or at least an English major. 583 00:36:26,601 --> 00:36:29,479 Jesus Christ, what do you do? Just come to work here 584 00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:34,442 and throw out every trace of education and ethics you ever acquired? 585 00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:40,115 You wouldn't happen to be talking about yourself 586 00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:42,826 just a... just a little bit, would you? 587 00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,210 Whatever. 588 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:01,886 He died a year ago on the night of a Blood Moon. 589 00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:04,973 Also known as a Sanguine Moon. 590 00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:09,728 That's tonight. A year ago. 591 00:37:09,853 --> 00:37:12,814 - I remember. - Tristan was special. 592 00:37:12,981 --> 00:37:16,651 There was no way he was going to a pet cemetery. 593 00:37:16,776 --> 00:37:21,072 Ramon, the caretaker here, he understands that. 594 00:37:21,823 --> 00:37:24,659 And I give him a hundred a month on the side. 595 00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,914 I didn't like the way you drove when we were chasing Sharlee. 596 00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:32,250 I'm sorry. 597 00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:35,837 Part of my being normal... 598 00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:40,550 ...is risk aversion. I'm developing my risk aversion. 599 00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:43,678 I'm developing my risk. 600 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:47,932 Yeah, fear is an essential survival tool. 601 00:37:48,057 --> 00:37:50,351 Yeah, but fear can also do you in. 602 00:37:51,019 --> 00:37:52,270 I'm over it. 603 00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,190 What happened to you, Lucy? 604 00:37:57,192 --> 00:37:59,235 I was in a coma, 605 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,906 and for a minute, I crossed over. 606 00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:05,658 It was so nice. 607 00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:09,704 Why'd you come back? 608 00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:11,539 I don't know. 609 00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:14,167 We'll see. 610 00:38:16,377 --> 00:38:20,048 Don't drive like that when I'm in the car. OK? 611 00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:21,883 OK. 612 00:38:28,389 --> 00:38:30,099 What happened to you? 613 00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:36,105 Since I've been sick, 614 00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:39,901 it's been like looking in one of those old funhouse mirrors. 615 00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:45,114 And then one day I turned around, 616 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,575 and I see the whole, real world. 617 00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:50,578 And my cat stopped talking to me. 618 00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,083 My walls stopped breathing. 619 00:38:56,042 --> 00:39:01,130 And instead of seeing the moon in my mind, I'm really here. 620 00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:04,717 I am, right? 621 00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:09,931 We both are. 622 00:39:33,580 --> 00:39:35,456 Pretty, huh?