Jesse, you know,
that's really sweet,
but,
you know,
I kind of make it a thing not to date guys in my band.
I forgot to tell you!
I'm dating Jake Ryan!
Look at that little puppy.
Let's get you away from that miserable punk
who broke my daughter's heart.
Hey listen, man, I don't like the way you treat "chicks."
But...
And I hate the fact that you keep interrupting me.
Hey, hey wait, I got it! Okay,
after rehearsal you get Jesse to ask you out,
making sure your dad can hear.
See, Hannah likes a boy that I don't like.
And she knows I don't like you.
So she's asked you out hoping that
I don't like you more than the boy that
I don't like that she does like.
I really like you.
What?
Don't worry about it.
I am a big boy and I will get over it.
And besides,
it's pretty obvious that you're-you're way into this other guy.
I am.
Well,
he's very lucky and I hope he knows it.
Thanks.
I mean,
I-I kind of think that he could be the one.
Hmm,
that's a good line for a song.
I mean, I'd lose the whole "kind of" part,
it makes you sound a little one foot in,
one foot out.
Yeah.
He could be the one.
He could be the one
I can't help myself from how my heart is racing.
Perfect!
Aw, look at you.
You're all choked up. Come here.
I loved the song.
And I love that you wrote it just for me.
Yep, that's what I did.
I can't believe it.
Everything is finally working out for us.
Sure is.
I, uh, got-got a tickle.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you know, I wouldn't want to, uh,
kiss you and then-and then-and then sneeze on you
and get you all Jesse... Messy.
Get you all, uh, messy.
Yeah,
I-I... And get you sick, too.
Whoo, we would not want that.
I think it's worth the risk.
Not me!
Yeah, not me because, uh,
I care too much about you, mister!
So, I'm going to be strong for the both of us and say see you later,
guitar player... Alligator.
"See you later, guitar player" is what I used to,
you know,
say to my dad when I was little.
Because my dad's a guitar player.
Yeah. Whoo, yep, that's a fever.
Hey.
Well, you get some rest and feel better
and know that I'm thinking about you every minute until I see you again.
And when I fall asleep,
I'm going to dream about you.
Are you going to dream about me?
I sure hope so.
But you know dreams,
they're uncontrollable little suckers.
Yeah.
Can't control what just pops into your head.
But, you know, it could be you.
It could be a sandwich.
I mean, your Jess... Guess.
Your guess is just as good as mine.
Air kiss, bye!
Lilly,
it's me.
You have got to get over here right now!
Yeah, yeah, Miley,
I'm a little busy right now.
- Pulling, pulling, pulling, pulling! - Sorry, I'm sorry!
Oliver's got this big knot in his hair
and I'm-I'm trying to get it out without,
- you know actually. - Hurting, hurting, hurting me!
Ow! I'm sorry, honey!
Lilly, I mean it.
Right now. It's code red.
Code red!
Why didn't you say so?
Man, you weren't kidding about that knot.
Ah. And he thought I couldn't get it out.
Oh my gosh,
you're in love with Jesse?
Not in love with Jesse.
And yet you're seeing his head on Jake's body.
Interesting.
Okay, fine!
I'm a-a little bit attracted to him,
but I can control it.
Because I am not going to let this ruin,
you know, what I have with Jake.
I mean, we have such history.
We have way too much history to,
you know, throw it away on some intense,
brooding, passionate, strong yet sensitive guy.
Miley.
Who has these warm brown eyes
that-that move you like the moon with the tide.
You know,
a dance as-a dance as old as time itself.
Well, as long as you can control it.
Control what?
Oh boy.
Whoo!
Nothing like a two mile run to make a man feel at one with the world.
Great. Must be nice to be you.
Well, hello to you,
little miss mood swing.
I thought you'd be all happy now
that everything's in the open with you and Jake.
I am happy! I'm thrilled!
Isn't that right, Lilly?
Right, yeah, happy.
Never seen her happier!
Is that the face of a happy girl or what?
Okay then, uh,
you should be excited to know that I was
thinking about inviting Jake over for dinner so he
and I could get to know each other a little better.
Yeah!
That sounds like a great idea!
Having Jake over for dinner because he's my boyfriend.
My only boyfriend.
The only one that I want,
the only one that I need.
You get that, mister?
Sweet niblets.
Honey, what I'm trying to say is, uh,
you and I need a little code word for
when you're dealing with these, uh,
teenage girl things.
Something like,
"The walrus sings at midnight."
The walrus sings at midnight.
The walrus sings at midnight,
that's it.
Daddy, the walrus sings at midnight.
Oh, I... I get it, I get it.
Uh, I might go for another run.
A little more oneness with the world,
you know what I mean?
Whoo!
Here we go.
I have got-
I have got to get over this stupid Jesse thing.
How? I mean,
you're with him like every day!
I know, but I'm a professional.
I can shake it off.
Really?
Okay, all right,
well let's say this cookie jar is, uh,
Jesse, okay?
And, uh,
he's playing and your eyes meet just as you're singing...
He could be the one.
Miley? Miley? Miley!
What?
That was not me that was the cookie jar!
He made the first move.
The toaster warned me about you, mister.
Bad monkey!
Miley, you just kissed a ceramic monkey
and then broke up with it.
How are you going to control yourself when you see the real Jesse?
I mean,
put a paper bag over his head?
Of course not. Come on, Lilly,
that is-that is ridiculous.
Okay, this is not working.
That's because you are not giving it a chance.
Kids are going to love the whole,
you know,
Hannah Montanimal thing.
It's going to be great for tour,
because it is like a circus with music.
Am I right?
I am always thinking.
Always... Whoa!
Oh my God.
I'm all right!
Maybe we should just call it a day.
Yeah, um, okay.
All right, I'm going to go out on a limb here,
but, uh, this?
It's not your best idea.
I know.
I've just got to learn, you know,
to be around Jesse without,
you know, getting all weak-kneed.
Aw, sweet sweaty niblets.
Okay, okay, all right, all right.
Okay, what gives?
You are way too smart to come up with something this stupid.
Hey,
for your information,
you are looking at a girl stupid enough to dress up as a chicken,
a duck, a swan...
A pirate, a carrot.
Oh and then once at a Make A Moose,
- she had an explosion in her pants. - Yeah!
It's not what it sounds like. Look,
my point is, is I am plenty stupid!
Fine.
If you don't want to tell me what's going on,
I'm out of here.
No, Jesse, please.
It's honesty time.
Lola.
Yeah.
It's honesty time.
Yeah.
Go!
Fine, I'll go to the bathroom.
I'm attracted to you, okay?
Really?
Yes, but I'm not going to do anything about it.
Really?
Look, the point is,
is that I love Jake.
And I'm not going to ruin that just because of some smooth-talking,
good-looking, intense,
brooding,
sweet,
strong yet sensitive guy who...
Do me a favor,
put this on for me.
There.
You're a heartbreaker and
I just-I just can't be with someone like that.
- Wait a min. - Hey,
I saw you dump that girl the other day.
That's what I thought.
I dumped her because I met you.
How many times have you used that one before?
Okay, a lot.
But this time I mean it.
It's different with you.
And I can't get you out of my head.
Your laugh,
the way you lose yourself in a song,
the way you love life.
Just say no if you want me to stop.
N-N-N-No! No, no.
See,
I can't do this because, uh,
I mean, I want to kiss you.
You have no idea how much I want to kiss you.
Boy, do I want to kiss you.
You want to what?
Jakey!
I was just writing a song for you!
You have no idea how much I want to kiss you.
My Jakey, wakey, bakey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's go.
Isn't that right, Jesse?
What?
Yeah,
I don't believe it either.
Look, Jake,
nothing happened and nothing was going to happen.
But you wanted it to.
One problem at a time, please!
Look,
you know how I feel about you, Jake.
I thought I did.
Now I'm not so sure.
When you figure it out, let me know.
Me too.
But for what it was worth,
I wanted to kiss you too.
Wow!
Go to the bathroom and you just miss everything.
Hey, Miles,
we got here as fast as we could.
Yeah,
we would have been here sooner,
but somebody thought "code red" meant "stop
and get frozen yogurt on the way to Miley's".
Oh, that's funny.
I don't remember this bothering you when you were
- eating most of it! - Hey!
Oh,
how selfish am I?
I mean,
my life is practically falling apart, but, uh,
I'm interrupting a yogurt crisis.
Sorry, okay, we're here for you.
Okay, so, uh, so what's the deal?
Both these guys are just waiting for you to make up your mind?
Yeah.
Man,
I've got to tell you, Miley,
if I found out Lilly was torn between me and another guy,
dude,
I would walk right up to her and I would say...
What? You would say what?
You take all the time you need, sweetheart.
I live for you and only you.
And would you like a foot massage?
Aw, see?
This is why I love you.
And why I would never even think of looking at another guy.
Because I am a one guy kind of girl.
You know,
I don't go buzzing around like some little queen bee from
one little pretty flower to the next little pretty flower,
then... But that's just me.
You know, I-I don't make any judgments.
Oh look-look at the time,
we're late.
Late for what? We just got here.
- We're just late, okay? - Okay.
Man, this is just so hard.
I mean, you.
We have so much history.
I mean, I loved you, and then I couldn't stand you,
then I loved you,
and then I couldn't stand you again,
and-and then you did the whole "gotcha" thing,
and then we kissed and...
And you. I mean, Jesse,
we have-we have no history,
but when we were writing that song, I mean,
something just clicked.
And then you said all those incredibly sweet things,
and then we almost kissed which-
which brings me back to...
Why do you have to be so wonderful?
Why can't you guys just do the honorable thing and stink?
Not the face! Not the face!
Hey, watch it!
What do you see in this guy anyway?
Ooh,
real macho movie star,
are you?
Not the face! Not the face!
Come on,
I know you had a thing with him,
but that doesn't mean you have to stay with him out of guilt.
Guilt?
She loves me, not you!
Oh. I think you mean "loved",
as in the past!
As in that was then and this is Jesse time.
Jake time!
Jesse time!
Jake!
Jesse!
Jake!
Jesse! Jake!
Jesse!
Jake!
Jesse!
Stop it!
You okay?
I'm yelling at pictures!
Does this seem normal to you?
Mile, in this family,
I stopped expecting normal a long time ago.
What's going on?
Well,
remember Jesse?
The one that I pretended to like
so maybe you'd like Jake a little better?
Oh no.
Oh yeah.
So you don't like Jake anymore?
Didn't say that.
Oh no.
Oh yeah.
Oh boy.
Actually,
"oh boys."
Ooh.
Well... Huh.
Sounds like you got yourself in a pretty tough situation here.
I really feel for you.
But it's clear to me there's only one thing you can do.
Dump them both, buy shoes.
Two pair, I'll pay, your choice.
Dad, you are no help at all!
No guy is!
The only thing y'all are good for is opening jars,
changing tires and going downstairs
with a baseball bat when we think we hear something!
Dad,
you can show me as many pictures of shoes as you want,
but it's not going to change anything.
But bookmark the page for when I'm feeling better.
Now, Mile,
I know I'm not much good when it comes to this kind of thing,
but I think I know someone who is.
Dad,
you're not going to show me that Gilligan's Island episode
where he has to choose between Ginger and Mary Ann,
and ends up losing the both of them?
Yeah, and the banana raft.
I thought for sure it was going to get them off the island that time.
Well, but don't worry.
I am positive you have not seen this before.
Just click on play.
Hey, baby girl.
Mom?
Well,
if you're watching this it means you've reached
an age where you're having boy troubles.
And your daddy's only solution is
to bring out one of those goofy Gilligan's Island episodes.
Hey, they're full of good messages about
the ups and downs of life!
Well, uh,
Blue Jeans' right. He says,
"will you just hush up and hold the camera?"
All right, come here.
Now, honey,
you're probably wishing that I was there to help you.
Yeah, but the truth is, even if I was,
I'd be telling you exactly what I'm telling you now.
The only voice that really matters
is the one inside you.
Yeah, it's easier than you think.
And if you listen to your heart,
the answer will always come to you.
It's going to be okay, sweet pea.
I love you.
I love you, too.
All right. Okay.
Okay, heart,
I'm listening, let's hear the answer.
Still listening.
Don't be shy,
it's just you and me here.
Jake. Well, I guess that this means...
Jesse? Oh, mud crunkeys!
Hi,
I can't get to the phone right now,
but I really, really,
really want to hear what you have to say.
So please leave me a message.
Um,
and I don't care what length
because I really, really,
really want to hear what you have to say.
All right, beep!
Hey, it's me.
I just wanted to say that...
I feel kind of bad about putting you on...
The spot like that.
The bottom line is...
No matter what you decide...
I just want you to be happy.
Two boys that just want me to be happy?
You didn't see that one coming did you, Mom?
I thought you said it was easy,
listening to your heart.
Wow.
So it's not me.
It's just,
when your picture landed in front of me
I...
You were disappointed.
I'm sorry. Jesse, there's just-
there's just something between Jake and me.
Well, like I said, he's a lucky guy.
Go on. It's okay.
Thanks.
Miley, Miley.
I got your message.
So, is it me, or...
Jake!