1 00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,269 Look at you! 2 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,715 Look over here. Okay, great, great. 3 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,633 Okay. Ready? 4 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,319 All right, say 'cheese'. 5 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,989 - Cheese! - Oh, wait. Excuse me. I'm sorry. 6 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,277 Maybe it's just me, but can I just say, why 'cheese'? 7 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,159 I know it's not your fault. 8 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,477 Obviously you didn't make it up, but it makes us look like pod people. 9 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,318 How about something more snap-shot like? 10 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:21,549 Au naturel. 11 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:28,909 That was good. 12 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,031 - I think we've got it, don't you? - I'm living the dream. 13 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,832 Honey, did you see that young man 14 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,678 cousin Dougie brought with him? 15 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,154 He's been staring at you all afternoon. 16 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,749 Don't destroy the cake. I used fresh tangerines. 17 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,234 Can you taste it in the frosting? 18 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,510 Has he really? It's delicious. Yeah, God, his eyes 19 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,871 - are gorgeous. - They're kind, and gorgeous. Go on. 20 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,229 - I'll go over. - You will? 21 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,589 - Yeah. - Okay, all right. 22 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:49,915 Oh, but honey. 23 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,350 - Just don't do that thing you do. - What thing, Mom? 24 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,471 Oh, you know, that little thing. It's no big deal. 25 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:55,874 That, you know, when you're insecure, 26 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,753 you're self-conscious, that little very loud nervous laugh. 27 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,271 Honey, it's adorable, but... Oh, God, 28 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,192 look. There she goes. 29 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,234 I know. We see it. She only buttons the parts she can see in the mirror. 30 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,715 At least she shaves more than the front of her legs now. 31 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:10,394 She's got almost the whole. 32 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,438 - Hi, how are you doing? - Okay, it's going. 33 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,153 - It's okay. - Yeah. 34 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,429 Uh-oh, the kiss of death. 35 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,599 - You look beautiful. - Are we going to do the picture? 36 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,031 - Let's just do it, okay? - This time I think we should pose. 37 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,832 I think we should pose for one. 38 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,519 Oh, wait a minute. Wait. Oh, hold on 39 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,039 for just one second. Okay, where's Mil? 40 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,878 Oh, God, how did we lose her? 41 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,150 Milly? 42 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,429 Where are you? 43 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,957 I'm upstairs with Uncle Harold's nephew. 44 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,957 The politically active, open-hearted journalist? 45 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,957 Mil, let me get your sisters in on this. 46 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:50,714 Maggie, what do you do for the speaker thing? 47 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:51,676 You hit 'speaker', Mom. 48 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,155 No, no, I know! Okay, I knew that, but what do I hit? There. 49 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,430 - Mil, we're here. We're all here. - Hi. 50 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:57,516 So, how's it going? 51 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:58,431 It's good. 52 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,398 - It's good! - Good! Okay. 53 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,710 The only thing is... 54 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,836 I think he may have a hot dog with a bun. 55 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,869 Are you having a picnic? 56 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,348 What? 57 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,158 No, uncircumcised is back in. 58 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,112 You know that guy I dated before Derek? 59 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,312 He had it, and I preferred it, cos it was so much more dramatic. 60 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,636 When it finally made its appearance, you were like, 'Whoa-ah! ' 61 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,876 Just stop it for a second. 62 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,911 This is your wedding. All right. 63 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,709 Honey, just remember he is accomplished, and he's considerate. 64 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,309 And don't forget, you have one breast smaller than the other. 65 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:30,919 Thank you, Mom. 66 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,070 God. 67 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,031 Wait, didn't he get back together with his wife? 68 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,074 Oh, no. 69 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,235 Well, Milly, congratulations on your first wedding. 70 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,271 Let's hope it's the first of many. Cheers. 71 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,109 All right. 72 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,676 A little thyme, remember, for hope, 73 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,237 and they say lavender 74 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,431 for remembrance, but my grandmother preferred marigolds 75 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,790 because she said it made you remember only the good stuff. 76 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,394 Richard, 77 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,635 I feel like making love 78 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,433 to you. 79 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,310 Oh, my God. All right, we've got to cut off the champagne 80 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,590 and get some food in their stomachs before there's an encore. 81 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,395 Let's go ahead and get the entrees ready, all right? Thank you. 82 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,755 Not a good time. 83 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,838 Honey, I was just thinking about that brilliant 84 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,072 but went-overboard-with-the-teeth- bleaching flute player from Ohio. 85 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,840 Yep, he actually stopped by work to surprise me. 86 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,235 - How sweet. - He's getting to know 87 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,919 my staff as we speak. 88 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,272 I guess I was wrong. I had him pegged for one of those guys who 89 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,313 wants you till he's got you and then doesn't think twice 90 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,715 about sleeping with your best friend. You know, that kind of guy? 91 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:45,877 No, 92 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,672 Mom, he's great. 93 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,313 You know what, Mom? 94 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,190 I've got to go. We're about to serve the entrees 95 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,994 and I wore those shoes that we just bought. No wonder they were on sale. 96 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,076 My feet are killing me. I'm going to call you 97 00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,918 when I get home, okay? I love you. Bye. 98 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:04,670 Milly! 99 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,238 You have no messages. 100 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,114 Whose idea was this? A Korean spa? 101 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,311 Mine. Mom, 102 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,113 why do you wear the high-tops? 103 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,594 I just got these. What's wrong with these? 104 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,028 They're just kind of depressing. 105 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,077 They're kind of something you would wear in a hospital. 106 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,589 Well, wait a second. I'll have you know, young ladies, that 107 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,395 this underwear enhances the female form, highlighting the elegance 108 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,079 of the waist and making the legs appear longer 109 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,675 instead of the... well, I'm sorry to say this, 110 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,634 but the awful, you know, foreshortening aspect of the thong 111 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,150 which breaks up the body disproportionately. 112 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,318 Mom, come on. For your 60th birthday 113 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,589 we're going to break you down 114 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,074 and we're going to buy you something beautiful. 115 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,429 Something that Grandma Moses would not wear. 116 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,232 Yes, you are. And speaking of your birthday, 117 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,032 we've talked 118 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,708 about possibly, a really small party... 119 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,593 - Misses, no. Absolutely no. - 'Misses, no'? 120 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,950 No, I am not going to talk about it, we're not going to think about it, 121 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,275 and certainly I'm not going to celebrate 122 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,078 the fact that my life is basically over. 123 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,952 - Mom. - But... 124 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,354 I did find a recipe for 125 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,471 a butterscotch butter cream cake that is to die for. 126 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,033 We got her. 127 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,798 Oh! Massage naked. 128 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,469 Take all clothes off. 129 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,478 No. Uh-uh. Not now, pal. No. No. 130 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:04,948 Whose idea was this? 131 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,718 Which one of you could possibly think 132 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,912 - that I would ever enjoy this? - It was so you. 133 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:11,834 Just you wait. 134 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,189 Hi, babe. 135 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,598 Honey, I'm worried about you. 136 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,713 It's not sad sobbing. I promise, Mom. I'm fine. I'm fine. 137 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:42,989 It's just... 138 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,919 the... the pressure point reflex thing. 139 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,792 - What kind of oil you need? - Pardon? 140 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,035 What kind of oil you like? 141 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:50,959 What-kind-of-oil-you-like to you, too. 142 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,713 - Mom! - What? 143 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,559 - It's a greeting. - No. 144 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,796 That old bag needs to loosen up. 145 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,230 No, she needs a stiff one. 146 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,912 Hey, wait. What are you? 147 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,509 What are you do? Whoa, wait. What are you doing here now? 148 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,193 What. Hey, that's the head. 149 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,833 It's okay. Soft or hard? Soft or hard? 150 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,589 Goddamn it! 151 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,315 Oh, my God. 152 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:24,955 Girls. 153 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,038 She's not back with Rafferty, is she? 154 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,151 She doesn't want to talk about it, Mom. 155 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,799 I knew it! I thought we got rid of 156 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,077 that pathologically ambivalent narcissist 3 years ago 157 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,429 when he almost stood you up at Mae's wedding! 158 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:36,959 Well, you know what, Mom? 159 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,315 He's never going to stand me up again 160 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,114 because he's been sleeping with my ex-boyfriend. 161 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,435 God! 162 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,551 So, the boy friend's a poofter? 163 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:53,754 No, that's something men say when they don't want to hurt your feelings. 164 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,757 You deserve somebody who wants you, 165 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,030 somebody who's as good and as kind as you are. 166 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,271 Why do you always have to put me down? 167 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,517 - I'm not putting you... - Yes, you are! 168 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,597 Love is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. 169 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:05,994 You shouldn't have to settle for crumbs. 170 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,235 Okay, okay, I know! 171 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,557 I'm an idiot, okay? I'm done. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 172 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,958 Oy Vey, Mom's ass is so tight it's vacuum sealed. 173 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,555 All right. 174 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,270 You're the psychologist in the family. 175 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,674 What do you think we should do about your sister? 176 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,593 I swear, with men she's like 177 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,392 psychotic flypaper. They're either gay, 178 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,068 married, unavailable, or out of their minds. 179 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:27,998 No, Mom, you have to leave her alone. 180 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,633 You have to quit making her so insecure. 181 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,159 She had the least amount of time with Dad, 182 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,079 who wasn't exactly a great male role model. 183 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,350 And stop being a helicopter, Mom. You're hovering. 184 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,559 You're right. You're right. 185 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,394 I'm going to back off. 186 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,999 I'm going to give her some space to sort things out 187 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,430 - for herself. - Good. 188 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,035 If only I could choose for her. 189 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:53,990 No! 190 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,556 That is so Fiddler on the Roof. Your parents didn't choose for you. 191 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,035 - Yeah, but maybe they should've. - You know what I think? 192 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,912 I think you're fixating on her 193 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,839 to avoid dealing with this very big birthday you have coming up. 194 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,314 I am not fixating 195 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,511 on her. Is it crazy for me 196 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,429 to want her to have one healthy relationship in her life? 197 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,109 I mean, come on. If she keeps up this pattern of wrong choice 198 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,788 after wrong choice... I mean, okay, one thing 199 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,591 when you're in your 20s, 200 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,229 but 20 years later it's not so pretty. 201 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,350 Maggie. 202 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,475 I don't... 203 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,433 I don't want her to end up alone. 204 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,715 You know what I realize? 205 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,794 I give up the search. I don't need anybody. I mean, look at Mom. 206 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,194 She's been single most of her adult life 207 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,630 and she's lived a great life, so you know what? 208 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,070 I'm going to be just like you, Mom. 209 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,630 Just like you. 210 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,235 Milly, you are going to thank me for this later. 211 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,635 Okay, 212 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,115 Adult Friend Finder. 213 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,873 Over 14 million members. 214 00:11:59,080 --> 00:11:59,512 Well, that's a very good sign. 215 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,509 I like how they use the word friend. 216 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,756 Friendship is the cornerstone of any good relationship. 217 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,669 Oh, yes, I like! 218 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,954 Oh, my God. Oh, sorry, Cooper, honey. Wait, okay. Wait. Shoot. 219 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,792 Goddamn. Excuse me. No, no, no, no, no, no. 220 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,878 Be quiet, okay? Gone. 221 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,835 Cooper, quiet. 222 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,709 Gateway customer support. 223 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,273 - May I help you? - Hello. 224 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,988 Mr. Online Support? Uh, yeah, no. 225 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,758 What's happened is my computer 226 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,109 has apparently frozen. 227 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,834 No, I just was doing a little bit of pre-Christmas online shopping. 228 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,679 Why do you need to know what site I'm on? 229 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,195 Oh, my God! 230 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,913 Oh, sorry. Oh, oh. 231 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,435 God darn. 232 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,359 Hello, is this 'We Match for You'? 233 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,958 Let me preface this ad by saying, 234 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,475 'lf you're a nut job, pervert, or fruitcake, move on. 235 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,875 Nudists, momma's boys, the sexually confused, need not apply. 236 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:12,596 Anarchists, xenophobes, philistines, masochists, sexists, bigots, 237 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,075 not welcome.' I know it's $5.00 a word. 238 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,433 No, well, don't worry. I'm not that talky. 239 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,076 So let's just take it from page two, 'chronically itchy'... 240 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,838 'I am looking for someone with a steady job 241 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,229 who knows the value of work. 242 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,671 That does not exclude the independently wealthy.' 243 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:33,230 Okay, hope that goes out. 244 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,477 Polka dots, yeah, yeah. I like it. 245 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:38,714 I like it. I like it. 246 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,153 You must be Daphne Wilder. 247 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,635 It's so nice to meet you. Yeah. 248 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,239 Let's date your daughter. 249 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,518 Just dig in real quick because I'm hypoglycemic. 250 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,479 Because otherwise my blood sugar hits the ground and, ah, you know. 251 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,395 I was just wondering what you think 252 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,477 the cornerstone of any good relationship is. 253 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,915 What is in there? 254 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,998 Why don't you just free associate, okay? I say 'marriage'. You say... 255 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,430 - I say marriage. - No, no, I say 'marriage'. 256 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,234 - I say marriage. - Right, but that's not what I meant. 257 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,793 - I. - Me... 258 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:26,955 Me. 259 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,636 I have a slight allergy to dander 260 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,796 nutmeats. 261 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,394 Okay, Doug, it's been wonderful meeting you. Appreciate it. 262 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,273 Yeah, right. Thank you very much. Okay, good. 263 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,874 If I say 'marriage', 264 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,354 - then what do you say? - Vera Wang. 265 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,239 Your name is? 266 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:55,668 - Huey. - Duey. 267 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,919 I've already got a woody. 268 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,509 How old did you say you were? 269 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,431 My name is Dr. Iris McDonough. 270 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,672 I'm sorry. I'm right in the middle here, Iris. 271 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:21,392 I know. 272 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,875 I read your ad. 'You'll know me by my polka dots.' 273 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,951 I'm a licensed psychologist 274 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,116 and I wanted to offer you my services. 275 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,033 I wanted to suggest that as a mother, 276 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,789 you attend, free of charge, one of my Letting Go seminars. 277 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,030 Hi. 278 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,559 I think we were supposed to meet now. 279 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,953 Yeah. 280 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,149 Oh, that's... Right. 281 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,431 Right. That is so... 282 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,518 Iris, I'm so sorry. I can't afford to be rude. 283 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,354 I'll leave you my card. 284 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:52,950 Thank you so 285 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,513 terribly much. 286 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,431 Oh, God, thank you, whoever you are. 287 00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,914 I'll have another, another. 288 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,553 I really don't think I can get through 289 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,955 another one of these without being heavily medicated. 290 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,115 That bad, huh? 291 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,070 Bad? 292 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,868 Yeah. Like... 293 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,951 w'w'wow. 294 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,197 And I like that you're going for a younger guy. 295 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,355 Me? 296 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,959 Oh, no, no, no, no. 297 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,277 No, that ship's docked. No, this is... 298 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,229 for my daughter. 299 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,872 Wait. Let me get this straight. So you're meeting these guys for her? 300 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,549 So she's cool with you doing this for her then? 301 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,751 Maybe you should just go play your guitar. 302 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,439 She doesn't know, does she? 303 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,509 Look... 304 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,869 I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the fact that Milly's... 305 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,710 she's at a crossroads in her life, another hard left, and I really... 306 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,192 She's like this person who's too sensitive. 307 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,709 You know what I mean? 308 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,798 She's an innocent. 309 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,189 She's a pushover. 310 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,791 I'm usually not this in the muck of it. I mean, actually, 311 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,195 I consider myself a reasonably sane mother. 312 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,995 Well, yeah, it is a crazy love, though. I mean, 313 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,958 who's to say I wouldn't do the same for my own kid? 314 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,755 Excuse me, I'm Jason Grant. I don't mean to interrupt. 315 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,235 I've been waiting over by the bar, but I only have 316 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,715 so much time before I have to get back to work. 317 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,671 I just wanted to ask you about your family. 318 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:29,635 Yeah, well, my dad is an engineer who was always a closet architect. 319 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,994 And I grew up with a love of old buildings, so... 320 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:33,752 I know what you mean. 321 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,396 I suppose I became the architect that he always dreamed of being. 322 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,150 Oh, my gosh. Oh, thank you, dear God. 323 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,035 Can I order you something? 324 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,789 No, actually, it turns out I'm so not hungry. 325 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,031 Let me get you the funghi Katarina misto. 326 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,434 It's the best-kept secret in the city. 327 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:53,834 May we have two orders of that, please? 328 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,877 And a bottle of the Castellari Chianti 329 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,115 Beaujialli. 330 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,349 If you insist, huh? 331 00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,629 No, I do, I do, I do. 332 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,673 Do you mind my asking why a man like you hasn't found a woman already? 333 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,231 Well, I'll admit I'm a bit of a workaholic. 334 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,159 It's a very important time in my career right now. I've found women 335 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:15,114 but just not the right one. A lot of great almosts out there. 336 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,471 Oh, yeah, a lot of almosts. 337 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:19,510 Yeah. 338 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,794 You speak Italian, huh? 339 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,513 No, I fake Italian. 340 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,598 - I'd really love to learn it. - You know, 341 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,438 Milly happens to be a phenomenal cook. 342 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,959 She's always wanted to take a cooking tour of Italy. 343 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,752 Oh, wow, I was going to go there this fall. 344 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,029 Really? 345 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,037 But it's a crazy time for me right now. My company 346 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,470 is celebrating their 10th anniversary. 347 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,918 You're going to need a caterer then. 348 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,958 I mean, those kinds of occasions should be 349 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,309 marked, don't you think? 350 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,589 You are good. So James Bond. 351 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,789 Yes. 352 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,389 Well, um, it was a pleasure to meet you, Daphne Wilder. 353 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,114 Well, Jason, my pleasure. 354 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:01,076 Got to love a woman in polka dots. Not everyone can pull it off. 355 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,429 Thank you. 356 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,959 - Bye. - Goodbye. 357 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:06,950 Bye. 358 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,511 Oh, my God. 359 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,748 Oh, yes! 360 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:16,868 And the winner is? 361 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:20,511 Duh. Hands down, bachelor number 17. 362 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:21,397 Him? 363 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,629 Yes. 364 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,400 Oh, I don't trust that guy. That guy was playing you like 365 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,473 - a slide guitar. - He was not. He's a very stable, 366 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,477 responsible, mature young man. 367 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,352 - He has empty eyes. - They were not empty, 368 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,836 and who am I supposed to choose anyway, Who do you think is better? 369 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,472 - Me. - What? 370 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,475 I like you, and I have an odd instinct 371 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,830 that I'd like her, too. Maybe I should meet her. 372 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,554 Let me be perfectly honest with you, okay? 373 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,435 You're a very charming guy, irresistible, in fact... 374 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,835 and that's why I know you would be a horrendous choice, 375 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,350 because I'm not looking for a great affair for my daughter. 376 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,357 You know, a gorgeous musician who's going to break her heart. 377 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,033 I'm looking for a life partner. 378 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,710 That's great. Thanks. No, I love being reduced to a cultural cliché. 379 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,913 That's just terrific, because only musicians break people's hearts. 380 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,759 That's not the only place I have them. 381 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,189 Well, look, you're a great guy. 382 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,958 I hope you have a great life... 383 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,720 but I have to do what's best for my daughter. 384 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:25,677 Yeah, of course you do, 385 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,559 but maybe you don't know what's best for your daughter. 386 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:29,829 I beg your pardon? 387 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,189 Maybe you do. 388 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,279 Maybe I do. 389 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,559 Nice to meet you, Daphne. 390 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,754 Pleasure. Pleasure. 391 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:55,829 Here we are! 392 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,118 Oh, my God, look! Oh, God, Mil, look at this. 393 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,433 Mom, it's polka dots. It's so Minnie Mouse. 394 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:08,959 I don't even know if I like it. Do I? 395 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,434 I'm hearing you hate it. 396 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,278 - Me too. - Oh, please just try it on. 397 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,629 Why? 398 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,270 Because I said so. 399 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:17,670 Honey, look it might surprise you. 400 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:18,750 Anyway, you look beautiful in dresses. 401 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,279 In fact, do you know what I think? 402 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,516 I think you should wear it to that catered affair on Sunday. 403 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,950 For work? Mom, I spill things all the time. 404 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,037 - Oh, come on. Just try it on. - All right. 405 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,548 Okay, that's incredible. 406 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,159 It's not really me at all. 407 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,511 What are you talking about? It is totally you. 408 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,312 Well... it's sort of more you in a way. 409 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,234 You know what it is? It's kind of Aunt Jemima meets Betty Crocker. 410 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,119 You know, that's... 411 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:43,555 ridiculous. 412 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,593 Come on, sweetie. You know what I'm going to do? I've made up my mind. 413 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:47,591 I'm going to get it for you. 414 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,796 No, no, no. You're not getting me this dress. I don't even like it, 415 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,831 and it's absurd for work. 416 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,109 No. 417 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:57,955 Hello. 418 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,149 Excuse me. 419 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:20,273 My mom's recipe. Fantastic. I recommend everybody try some. 420 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:29,954 Love that shade of orchid. 421 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,269 Thank you. 422 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,594 The chicken satay has got a real unique flavor. What do you use? 423 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,997 It's cumin. I'm so sorry. I can't really chat right now. 424 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,272 You guys, the chocolate waterfall's not in the right spot. 425 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,033 - Oh, no, we can't have that. - You know what? Let's go ahead 426 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,232 and just shift everything over so it frames the temple doors. 427 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,873 Yeah, that's the perfect spot. 428 00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,669 So, you like the building? 429 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,554 I actually think it's a little cold. 430 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,916 I'm Jason Grant. I'm the architect. 431 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:09,990 Milly. 432 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,349 Nice to meet you. 433 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,472 Come on, Mom. Pick up the phone. 434 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:27,155 Oh, Daphne. 435 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,277 Hello? 436 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,879 Oh, Mom, hi. It's me. I have to tell you, 437 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,594 the most amazing thing happened. This guy at work asked me out. 438 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:33,437 He did? 439 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,153 Yes, he's so cute Mom. He's an architect. 440 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,078 - We're going out Saturday night. - Oh, yeah? 441 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,157 I'm just so excited. I'm so excited. 442 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,992 Oh, Milly, that is really great, sweetie. That is so darn great. 443 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,514 It's great, right? 444 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,074 Oh, Mom, he's so cute. I can't even believe 445 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,675 that it's happening to me, and he loved the polka dots! Thank you. 446 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,359 - Oh yeah? - Thank you, Mom. Yes. 447 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,637 Well, honey, it's just, I guess dumb luck. 448 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,114 - You're the best. - Okay. 449 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,594 - I love you. - Bye. 450 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:02,430 Yup. 451 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,515 Hello. Um, Jason? 452 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,758 This is Bond, James Bond. Call me. 453 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:12,553 I'm hearing rave reviews. 454 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,958 I just pulled up. I'm walking in. It's okay. Don't worry. 455 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:29,354 I'm here. I'm here. 456 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:31,790 Sorry. 457 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,035 Sorry. 458 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,592 They're not angry. Hold on, hold on. Sorry. 459 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,149 They're just... They're probably hungry of something. 460 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,834 No, feed them the... 461 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,429 the spring rolls from the... 462 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:44,595 the Adams' wedding. 463 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,273 And the, uh, sauce from the Levy wedding. 464 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,349 All right, I'm walking in. 465 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:51,549 Okay, bye. 466 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,998 There's a lot of static out there. 467 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,879 You can say that again. 468 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,152 - There's a lot of static out there. - You know, 469 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:26,749 it's caused by a lack of humidity in the air that causes 470 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,951 an imbalance of the positive and negative charges. 471 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,073 - Of most cases. - I love ice cream, 472 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,955 but I'm really late to work, and I'm so sorry. Nice tattoo, though. 473 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:41,949 What flavor? 474 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:44,955 Why don't you get me your favorite? 475 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,196 Why don't I get your favorite? 476 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:54,435 Okay, 477 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,670 I'll have the, uh, the Fudgsicle. 478 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,911 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The Dreamsicle. 479 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,275 Wait, is that the tall rainbow one 480 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,755 that's really embarrassing to eat but it's really, really good? 481 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,594 Okay, never mind. 482 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,519 I will have the Dreamsicle-y one that has the green wrapper 483 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,632 with the Japanese writing on it. Thank you. 484 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:23,875 I'm really beginning to feel like I'm never going 485 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,469 to meet anyone. It's making me feel hopeless. 486 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,352 Sheila was a huge loss, but that was 1993. 487 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:33,959 Ah, it's still so fresh. 488 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,798 This makes me feel like when I was in the second grade, 489 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,189 and I walked around with a booger in my nose all day 490 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,391 and nobody told me. Why didn't they tell me? 491 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,795 Well, more to the point, why didn't Sheila tell you she was unhappy? 492 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,479 Oh, God, this is making me feel nauseous. 493 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,639 Maybe I should change my appointment time 494 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,193 from Thursdays at 3:00 to Mondays at 1:00. 495 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,436 No, Stuart. We've tried that before. You had Fridays at 1:00 496 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,915 and Tuesdays at 11:00. It really didn't help your hypoglycemia. 497 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,395 Now, let's focus on where we ended last time. 498 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:59,673 Meeting new people, joining an adult education class, or a book club. 499 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,552 I did go to an Internet dating service. 500 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,228 Good for you. That's very brave. 501 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,078 It was a nightmare, Dr. Wilder-Decker. 502 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,713 It made me want to kill myself, 503 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,113 even more than the last time. 504 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,268 Wow, well, what triggered those feelings, Stuart? 505 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,357 This mother put an ad out looking for 506 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,630 a mate for her daughter and I answered it. 507 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,472 A mate for her daughter? 508 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,958 Stuart, some people really shouldn't have kids. 509 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,629 I guess I didn't pass the test 510 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:26,955 because she made me feel about this big. 511 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,515 I wouldn't worry about that, Stuart. 512 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,154 Imagine how screwed up any daughter of hers would be. 513 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,156 When I pressed her as to why 514 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,032 I couldn't meet her precious daughter, do you know what she said? 515 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,630 - I really hear it didn't go well. - 'Because I said so, that's why! ' 516 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:40,509 Mother, how could you? 517 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,073 When are you planning on telling her? 518 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,030 Well, why does she need to know? 519 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,435 I mean, as long as she's happy, that's all that's important and... 520 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,153 My goodness, who knows? 521 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,750 This architect could be the real Magilla. 522 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,310 As I've always said, God couldn't be everywhere, 523 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,590 and that is why he made mothers. 524 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,035 What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you 525 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,231 - and Milly thought it was too corny. - Don't you dare tell her... Maggie, 526 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,795 or you and I are going to have some serious issues. 527 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,309 Well, we already have some serious issues, Mom. 528 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:07,759 Always so dramatic. 529 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,397 Mother, this is like sixth grade drama club. Speak English. 530 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,750 Oh, oh! Oh, God. 531 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,190 Oh, hi, honey. 532 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,469 Oh, Mom. 533 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,911 I was just in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd drop by. 534 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,031 Mom, please you have to start calling me. 535 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:30,832 I have a date that's on his way over right now. 536 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,792 Oh, but Milly, you look so beautiful. 537 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,319 Are you sure you want to wear that dress, though? 538 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:35,669 It was such a hit the first time. 539 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,154 I know, but don't you think you have to mix it up a little bit? 540 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,032 - What for? - Well, okay, no. 541 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,152 You're right. You're right. You just look... it looks perfect on you, 542 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,715 and everything about it, and I'm just sort of wondering 543 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,672 if maybe you ought to button those buttons. 544 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:48,233 No, no, I like it like this. 545 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,512 Milly, you look like you're asking for it. 546 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,312 I am asking for it. 547 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,875 Okay, all right. I'll pretend I didn't hear that. 548 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,116 All right, what are you going to do with your hair? 549 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,709 - I already did it. - Oh, of course you did. 550 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:00,756 Sure you did. 551 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,550 And you're making cookies, too? That's about the sweetest touch. 552 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,273 No, actually, I just want the house to smell like cookies 553 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,835 when he gets over here. Mom, it's 6:49. 554 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,109 Look, he's supposed to be here at 7:00. 555 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:11,992 - You have to go, please. Please. - I can take a hint. 556 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,349 It's not a hint, Mom. 557 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,950 He's here. Okay, you've got to go. You've got to go. Please, Mom. 558 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,599 But now, wait, sweetie. Just have a good time. 559 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,440 Feel free to be yourself. But remember, 560 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,155 don't be too, you know, forthcoming with all your failed relationships. 561 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,396 - And oh, sweetie. - I love you. 562 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,433 I love you. I love you for some reason. 563 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,552 I'm going to pull my hair out. 564 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,629 - What? - I know. Just one more thing. 565 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,956 - I've got to go see him. - I want you to wear this. 566 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,670 - Oh, my God. Grandma's diamond? - Yeah. 567 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:45,598 Oh, oh, put it on me. Put it on me. 568 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,631 - I want to wear it tonight. - All right. 569 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,796 - I know he's coming. Don't worry. - Okay. 570 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,911 Mom, you never let any of us wear this. It's so special. 571 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,553 - So special. - Thank you. 572 00:29:58,800 --> 00:29:59,755 What? 573 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:02,953 May it bring you luck with the architect. 574 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,277 Oh, your sisters and I will expect a full report, okay? All right. 575 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,277 Okay, I will give it to you tomorrow night after I go out with him. 576 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:09,674 - Tomorrow night? - Yeah, yeah. 577 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,632 I'm going out with another great guy tonight. 578 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,354 He's taking me to Luna Station to hear some music. 579 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,073 - You are? - Can you believe that, Mom? 580 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,469 It's like I gave up, I stopped trying, 581 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,750 and the universe brought me two amazing guys. 582 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,433 - Great, right? - Whoa, that's so great. 583 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,718 It's one of those amazing things, huh? All right, sweetie. Bye. 584 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,113 Will you go, go, go! 585 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,670 Go, go! 586 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,068 Home! Go! 587 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,709 Hi. 588 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,512 It was either this or roses. 589 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,315 Thank you. 590 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,109 - Come on in. - Cookies? 591 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,719 - Yeah. - Nice. 592 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,198 - Right. - It really seemed to have such 593 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,960 a different approach and attitude towards life that 594 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,152 people don't really get here as much, maybe? 595 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,556 Oh, okay, don't worry. We're going to get a quick look at who he is, 596 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,079 and then we're going to go home and finish 597 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:07,873 watching Gary Cooper in 'Love in the Afternoon'. 598 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:16,588 Come on, man. 599 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,273 Okay, yes. Yeah. 600 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,556 Okay, go. Go, baby! 601 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:23,749 Okay, okay. 602 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,030 Come on. Oh. 603 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,760 Coop, Coop, everything's okay, sweetie. Now, where the heck am I? 604 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,188 God, okay. 605 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,311 Okay, let me just, okay, I'll turn this. Okay. 606 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,715 Welcome. What is your destination? 607 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,672 Luna Station. 608 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,919 Your address is 1242 Amherst Boulevard. 609 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:51,629 So where is Amherst? 610 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,752 Continue north 2.4 miles, then east... 611 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:55,836 Well, where is north? 612 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,669 The left. Give me a left. Give me a right. Left. Right. 613 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,994 Please, for God's sake. You know what you are? 614 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,475 I'll tell you what you are. You are redundant, 615 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,679 and it's a horrible quality! 616 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,519 - Continue. Continue. Continue. - That's for you! 617 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,915 I'm sorry. Command too loud. 618 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,990 - Are you guys ready to rock? - Yeah! 619 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,959 All right. All right. Let's play something for Milly over there. 620 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:42,798 A little blues in 'E', okay? 621 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,468 One, two, three, four. 622 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:48,754 Now, we're coming up on the 'A'. 623 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,877 Molly, that sounds terrific. 624 00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,149 I feel really bad. 625 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,713 No, no, I would've done the same thing 626 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:02,512 if one of my staff had called in sick. 627 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:03,909 It's only going to be 20 more minutes. 628 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,076 It's just that they memorized an 'E' progression, 629 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,077 and that is a major feat for them. 630 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,191 - Okay. - Yeah, I'll be right back. 631 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:11,628 Go, Nicky. 632 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:13,315 Yeah. 633 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,432 A little bit harder over there. 634 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,790 Strum a little bit closer, up here. 635 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,751 - That sounds really nice. - Really? 636 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,996 - Yeah. - Well, thank you, teacher. 637 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,277 Actually, I love to sing. 638 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,357 My whole family loves to sing. 639 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,275 When I was younger, I always wanted to take piano lessons, 640 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,950 but my mom was struggling so much supporting us all that I just felt 641 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,673 way too guilty to ask. 642 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:57,989 Here. 643 00:33:58,920 --> 00:33:59,955 What? 644 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:02,275 What? 645 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,712 Play what you were playing before. It sounded really good. 646 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,114 - Really? - Yeah. 647 00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:09,794 I'm no good, but okay. 648 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:12,109 Try it. 649 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,753 - Like that? - Yeah. 650 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,709 I'll take it up here. We'll meet in the middle. 651 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,234 It's down there. 652 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,476 - Sorry. - How about I come close to you? 653 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:30,109 I don't mind. 654 00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:32,630 All right. 655 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,557 Why are there a load of ducks in Venice? 656 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,394 10 ducks are swimming down the canal. 657 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,592 And one says, 'This place is quacked! ' 658 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:48,155 Oh, that's terrible. 659 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,430 No, that's really cute, actually. It's very cute. 660 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,396 This is... this is me. Come on in. 661 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,711 I love this. 662 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,673 - It's so cozy. - Thanks. 663 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,513 So comfy. 664 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,711 Three, two, one. Blast off! 665 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,399 I'm in orbit! 666 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,876 Okay, Lionel, let's... All right, okay. Come back here. 667 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,992 Let's start winding down for bed, all right? 668 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:15,872 Who are you? What planet do you hail from? 669 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:17,399 This is Milly from Planet... 670 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,273 Milly. This is Lionel from Planet Johnny. 671 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,391 Hi, Lionel. It's very nice to meet you. 672 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:23,715 You have a vagina. 673 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,074 I have a what? 674 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,231 I have a penis. You have a vagina. 675 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,273 - Okay, buddy, give me a break, okay? - Can I see it? 676 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,034 Lionel! 677 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,308 - Lionel! - Dad? 678 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:40,750 Hi. 679 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,393 This is, uh, Milly. 680 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,149 Well. 681 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,749 - Joe Dresden. Nice to meet you... - Hi, nice to meet you. 682 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:48,149 Oh, I'm sorry. 683 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,189 Moon dust. 684 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:52,875 It's okay. 685 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,469 Well, excuse me. It's usually just us guys. 686 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,672 Johnny hasn't brought home a gal in, God, 687 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,074 I don't know how long. 688 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:01,389 Great. I'm getting it from both sides. 689 00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:04,630 Sorry. 690 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,599 Come on, buddy. Let's go in the other room. These guys are boring. 691 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:09,994 No, no, no! 692 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,077 - No, no! - What'd you have for lunch today? 693 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,159 Bologna sandwich! 694 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,112 - I'm not the bologna! - Yes, you are. 695 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:26,355 I think we've got him. 696 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:27,549 - There we go. - We've got him. 697 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,235 See you. 698 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:32,150 Night. 699 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:48,992 - This is so amazing. - Yeah. 700 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,792 - It's really unbelievable. - Yeah? 701 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,158 This is so great. 702 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,909 It's beautiful. It's... It's great. 703 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:02,238 - I love this angle on the city. - I never knew this existed. Gosh. 704 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,471 So what's good here? 705 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,796 Well, I hope you don't mind, but knowing 706 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,230 your love of food, I didn't want you to miss these. 707 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,078 No, no, no, no. That's... that's great. 708 00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,517 Because I make decisions all day long. 709 00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:21,029 You know, the Gillespies' daughter's allergic 710 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,111 to chocolate, but she wants a brown cake, 711 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,833 and my lease is up on my car. 712 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:26,837 Do I get a hybrid, do I really believe in them? 713 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,632 But I don't know if it's time to switch insurance. 714 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:29,557 It's... 715 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,595 What I mean is it's very nice to not have to think for a change. 716 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,510 The last time I was in Italy, I was in Siena. 717 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,278 They make this wine there, 718 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:48,310 and this is the only place in the city 719 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:49,555 that serves it. You've been to Siena, right? 720 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,751 Oh, well, of course I haven't. No. 721 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:53,268 Are you kidding? 722 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:55,791 Wouldn't it be fun to drink our way through Tuscany? 723 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:58,793 Lt'd be amazing. 724 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:01,757 God, this calamari is so... 725 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,512 Now, is that City Hall? God, I love old buildings. 726 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,154 Not that I don't love modern architecture, 727 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:09,196 because I totally do. It's so bold... 728 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:10,958 But you know what I mean. 729 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,998 Who wants to live in all that concrete? 730 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,799 And yet, the Zen of clean lines, that kind of Asian simplicity, 731 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,950 living without all the clutter, is great. 732 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:26,836 This view is amazing! 733 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,713 - My mom would love this view. - Oh, yeah? 734 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:32,239 Does she have good taste? 735 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,189 Lmpeccable. 736 00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:39,593 Now I know that this is the part 737 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,917 of the evening where I'm supposed to sit way over here in this chair... 738 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,589 but can I... 739 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,870 jump five spaces and pass 'go'? 740 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,879 Um, well, 'can' implies are you capable. 741 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,435 'May' asks the question. 742 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,313 Milly, may I? 743 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:56,268 Yes, you may. 744 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,198 Milly, may I kiss you? 745 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,148 I'm sorry. Can you hold that thought for a second? 746 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:17,679 I... have to, like... 747 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,035 What? 748 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,556 Well, no, I just got that new conference call feature, 749 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,074 so we thought we'd try it out. 750 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:28,269 New? 751 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,153 - Hey, Milly. - Hi, how's it going? 752 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,316 - He's a great kisser. - Wonderful! 753 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:34,432 - Isn't that great, girls? - Yeah. 754 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,597 That's so much better than remember that Ted guy who seemed to have... 755 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,153 a lot of potential then he ended up having, like... 756 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,509 - lizard tongue? - Oh, yeah. 757 00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:41,836 And as I remember, an over-intake of Mentos, 758 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,871 which didn't cover the buffalo wing breath? 759 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:45,718 That's disgusting, Mae. 760 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,638 No, as I recall, those kisses bombed upstairs, 761 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,432 but had a certain finesse downstairs. 762 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,710 I remember that. Yes, downstairs. 763 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:53,355 I don't want to hear it. 764 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,189 Guys, all right. I've got to go kiss. I've got to go kiss. 765 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:57,515 Okay, I've got to go, too. 766 00:39:57,720 --> 00:39:58,391 - Me three. - Bye. 767 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:33,990 Hello? 768 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:35,197 Hello? 769 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:36,197 Mom? 770 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,640 - No! - Are you there? Mom? 771 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,713 - What, honey? - Hi, Mom. Are you okay? 772 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,516 What, honey? No, yeah. I'm fine. 773 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,116 - No, wait, Mom, what's that sound? - Well, Cooper's in heat. Good night. 774 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,117 Cooper's a boy. Mom? 775 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:56,430 He wants 776 00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:58,950 potato pancakes in the shape of footballs 777 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,879 with Gandalfs face on them in sour cream. 778 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:03,877 You can do that. You start, though. 779 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,310 Hello. 780 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,479 Hi. Wow. 781 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,351 Lionel helped picked these. He wanted you to know. 782 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:15,269 Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. Lionel, 783 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:16,396 they're beautiful! 784 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,356 And you know what? You can actually eat these flowers. 785 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:22,878 They're really good in salads. Although when I was your age, 786 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,752 I didn't like anything green, and now I've learned to love... 787 00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:27,708 Now, if she could just stop talking for five seconds. 788 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:29,915 Oh, I've got it. I've got it. 789 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,156 - I've got it. - No, no. We'll get it. 790 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,956 Hey, Lionel, come on. You want to help us seat the centerpiece? 791 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,479 - Can I, Dad? - Yeah, yeah. 792 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,114 - Go ahead. Go crazy. - Bye. 793 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:41,594 If you don't, I will. 794 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,115 There was a lot going on the other night, and I didn't get 795 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:50,878 to tell you about Lionel's unique rhythm, 796 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:52,758 and I'm sorry. 797 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,111 Oh, gosh, no, it's fine. I actually feel a kinship with him. 798 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,153 You know, he can't stop running around, and I can't stop talking. 799 00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,396 I kind of think you're going to have your hands full. 800 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:05,429 They said it couldn't be done, and I did it. 801 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:06,675 So how was your date with the arch? 802 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,194 Oh, my gosh. Mom. 803 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,031 Mom, this is Johnny. 804 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,993 Johnny, this is my mom Daphne. 805 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:17,515 Hi. 806 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:22,789 Lionel... 807 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,035 Johnny's son. 808 00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:25,309 John, is it? 809 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,831 Lionel. Come on, buddy. 810 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:30,596 Hey, buddy. 811 00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:34,119 - Lionel... come on here, now. - Pardon me. 812 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,231 Lionel... that's a cute... 813 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:39,710 Oh, my gosh! 814 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,911 Is this menorah-esque? I don't even know if this is good. 815 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,118 We should try and make this work, though. I can kind of... 816 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,789 Oh, oh! Wait, wait, wait. I used this for Jason's party. 817 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,150 Oh, Jason. He has such nice eyes. Okay. 818 00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:01,598 - Thank you. - Happy Bar Mitzvah, Josh Greenberg. 819 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:03,514 How do you know Jason has such nice eyes? 820 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:05,631 Does he? Oh, that's so sweet. 821 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,319 He seems like a very special person. 822 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,954 What if we tried that new vase on the coffee table? 823 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,471 He is nice, but actually they both are. 824 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,034 I'm sure they both are, but in terms 825 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:16,998 of who you want to get serious with, that Johnny... 826 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,350 at least from what I can see, can't even get his life together, but... 827 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,118 I'm going to stop, all right? 828 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:22,909 You know what's wrong? 829 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:24,269 The couch is in the wrong place. 830 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,993 - Look. I got an idea. - Okay. 831 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:27,915 - Honey. - So we'll move the couch? 832 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:29,832 - Let's move it this way. - Here we go. 833 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,069 - It's so good. - Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. 834 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,710 - Oh, yeah! - My God! Look at that. It's so... 835 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,309 great. It, like, completely opens the room. 836 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:56,669 - I love it. - So very, very, very good. 837 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,757 The only thing is, though, can I just say this? 838 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,112 We haven't tried the couch by the window. I think we should. 839 00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:05,597 Oh. All right. I don't even know if I see it here. 840 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:07,836 Okay, oh, gosh. Oh, just a second. Hello? 841 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,638 You have the wrong number. Yeah, there is no J. Bond here. 842 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,912 Uh, FYI, the eagle has landed. 843 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:17,918 Yeah, the hen is in the house. 844 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,315 Repeat, the hen is in the house right now. 845 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:22,874 All right, honey? 846 00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:25,079 Mil, if we pushed this 5 inches to the left, 847 00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:26,918 I swear it's going to transform your life. 848 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,909 - You really think so? - I wouldn't lie to you. 849 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,229 - All right. - Come on, let's go. 850 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:32,156 Okay, on three. 851 00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:34,515 One, two... 852 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:35,909 three. This way. 853 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,315 - Mom. - This is Milly. Leave a message. 854 00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,988 Milly, it's Jason. I was thinking about you... 855 00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:42,036 Pick it up. Answer it. 856 00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:43,878 ...what a fantastic time I had... 857 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:44,711 Why don't you want to talk to him? 858 00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:46,148 I do want to talk to him. I just don't want 859 00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:47,839 to do it in front of you, all right? 860 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,473 Come on, Milly. I mean, I don't... 861 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,432 I got tickets for Friday night, La Boheme. 862 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:55,519 La Boheme?! Come on, sweetie. I love La Boheme. Just pick up the phone. 863 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,233 Mom, I don't want to talk to him. 864 00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,510 Mil, Mil, pick up the phone! 865 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:00,956 - Mom, stop! - Pick it up. 866 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,760 - No, no. Don't pick up the phone. - Yeah, here. Take it. 867 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,194 - Stop, stop. - Say yes. 868 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,315 Hi! 869 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:10,628 Yeah, I'm great. 870 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:14,312 Oh, great. Yeah, okay. 871 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,749 That sounds really great. Great. 872 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,916 Yeah, great. Okay, all right. 873 00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:21,869 Okay, I'll talk to you soon. 874 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,272 Okay, great. Bye. 875 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,274 He obviously adores you. 876 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:30,519 You think so? 877 00:45:30,720 --> 00:45:32,551 Oh, God, and who wouldn't? But hon, 878 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:33,795 are you aware of how many times 879 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,797 you used the word 'great'? 880 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,273 These candlesticks got to go. 881 00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,313 No, no, no, no. I like them. They're staying. They're great. 882 00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:43,239 Milly, you know how much I hate to meddle, 883 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:44,873 but I once had the choice 884 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:47,310 between a mature, responsible young man 885 00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:51,513 like Jason and your father, who of course I was infatuated with, 886 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,109 - and to this day, I still... - Okay, okay, okay, you know what? 887 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:55,548 To be fair, you're reading a lot 888 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,153 into a guy that you've met for 10 minutes. 889 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,920 Truth be told, that Johnny has heartbreak 890 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:01,388 written all over his face. 891 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,558 You know absolutely nothing about him. And you know what, Mom? 892 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,512 I've got to go because a healthy relationship... 893 00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:08,517 What? No, no, you go ahead. 894 00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:09,948 No, no, that's okay. You go ahead. 895 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,470 Yes, cut your bangs. You're hiding your incredible eyes. 896 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:14,954 He's actually a good parent... 897 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,310 Hiding your incredible eyes! 898 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,795 Milly, I love you, and you may be brilliant, 899 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,151 but you're not smart. I just want you to have a full, beautiful life. 900 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,828 Do I not have a life, Mom? Because I thought I had a life. 901 00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,110 No! No, you have a career, you have a car, 902 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,390 and you have a loft you pay way too much rent for. 903 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,034 That's not a life. Milly, I'm your mother. 904 00:46:33,240 --> 00:46:35,310 I love you enough to tell you the truth. 905 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:39,069 - Your version of the truth, Mom. - No! No, the truth is 906 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,750 happiness is a series of choices. 907 00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:43,109 It's not something that just sort of happens. 908 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:46,033 One wrong decision can change your whole life. 909 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:49,879 There's still time, Mom. 910 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,191 Not if you waste another minute of it. 911 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,397 I mean for you. 912 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,635 And I don't say 'great' too much! 913 00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:05,673 This is great. 914 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:10,437 This is great. The view is great. The night is just so great. 915 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:11,914 You warm enough? You want to go inside? 916 00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,549 No, no, no, I'm fine. I'm nice and toasty. 917 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:15,397 Okay, all right. 918 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,989 And don't you just love my mom's orange blossom cheesecake? 919 00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,029 So good. 920 00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,508 Get a big bite. 921 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,154 It's great, right? 922 00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:26,349 It's superb, 923 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:28,559 which is a synonym for great, 924 00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:30,193 if you're ever looking for one. 925 00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:33,115 You know, 926 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,359 you're cold. Let's go inside. 927 00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,755 You get the candle. I'll get the rest. Okay? 928 00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:40,039 - Oh, be careful with that! - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, 929 00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:42,151 I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Oh, my gosh, 930 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:43,679 please tell me where I can get you another one. 931 00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,314 You can't. It was my great-grandmother's. 932 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,757 Oh, my God. Jason... 933 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,916 I... I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Please... 934 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,793 I've been so out of it lately... my alarm clock didn't go off today 935 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,230 and that's why I was late and... I've just been so stressed 936 00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,271 with the Greenberg Bar Mitzvah but... 937 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,316 You seem really angry. 938 00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:06,714 No. 939 00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:08,994 I'm great. 940 00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:15,830 Okay. 941 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:21,031 I promise you, they're the best chocolate soufflés ever. 942 00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:22,116 Well, they better be. 943 00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:23,878 - They're worth it! - Touchdown! 944 00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,551 Oh! Gosh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 945 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,591 Hey, it's all right. That's all right. Whoa. 946 00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,036 I'm sorry. I bumped into, like, a parking meter yesterday... 947 00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:34,719 and I'm always breaking stuff. 948 00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,150 Why are you apologizing? It isn't even your fault. 949 00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,593 Lionel, put some shoes on before you come back in here, all right? 950 00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:45,554 I know he can be a lot, and it gets a little crazy around here sometimes 951 00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,638 but here you are making us chocolate soufflés, and you're apologizing. 952 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,593 Sometimes I think you let people make you feel bad about yourself. 953 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,396 Yeah, like you are right now? 954 00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,191 What is going on with us today? 955 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,436 We're having an off day. That's all. 956 00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:07,596 - What are you doing? - I'm leaving. I'm leaving because... 957 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,519 you're miserable, and we're having a bad day. You just admitted it. 958 00:49:10,720 --> 00:49:11,948 No, I said 'off day' 959 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:13,593 and yes, we've had better days, 960 00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:15,756 and I'm sure we'll have a few hundred more weird ones 961 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,552 if we stay together. So what? 962 00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:21,389 - Johnny. - Give me your hand. 963 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:22,999 - What? - I want to try something here. 964 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,075 What are you doing? 965 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,189 Just a little something. 966 00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:36,435 The soufflés are done. 967 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:37,789 No, the timer didn't go off. 968 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,672 No, no, no. I feel it. I feel it. 969 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:51,428 They're beautiful. 970 00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,074 Thank you. The one thing I can actually do right. 971 00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:58,309 You have perfect timing. 972 00:49:58,880 --> 00:49:59,835 Thank you. 973 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:01,555 Come here. 974 00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:06,308 Don't apologize. 975 00:50:08,720 --> 00:50:10,790 He has this way of calming me down. 976 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:12,634 Ooh, huge plus. 977 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:14,075 Yeah. 978 00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,875 But then the whole Lionel thing. I just... 979 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,709 worry and wonder would I be a good mother now? 980 00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,837 Don't worry. It's not genetic. 981 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:26,755 They've been through so much, though, 982 00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:31,033 with Lionel's mom freaking out and splitting when he was so young. 983 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:35,159 Not that we're anywhere near talking about any of this yet. 984 00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,157 Just the fact that you're wondering, though. 985 00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,512 God. I mean, the fact is, you don't know 986 00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:42,676 either of these guys that well, 987 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,197 and who knows if Jason even wants to have kids. 988 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:46,469 Absolutely. 989 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,511 Four kids, and I want to name the first one Charlie after my father, 990 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:52,278 and that works if it's a boy or a girl. 991 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:55,631 Then I want to design a huge Craftsman house for the whole brood. 992 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,395 - The exhibit's in here. - Oh, no, no, no. 993 00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,272 Don't let me in a museum. Too many breakables. 994 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:01,799 Don't worry. They're insured. 995 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:04,675 Hey, listen. 996 00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,270 I'm sorry I lost my temper with you the other day. 997 00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:10,391 You felt bad enough already. 998 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,035 I can be a real ass, and I hate that about myself. 999 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:20,235 Another family 1000 00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:21,475 heirloom. 1001 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,235 He buys jewelry. Well, it's no brainer. He's the one. 1002 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,239 - He felt remorse, Mae. - Well, that's a lovely quality. 1003 00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:38,953 No, he knew he should feel remorse. 1004 00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:40,513 Oh, my God, Milly, these empanadas are amazing. 1005 00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:42,358 They're going to be perfect for mom's party. 1006 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,955 Ooh, Mom, what about these for your party? Shoes. 1007 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,799 Please, why are you guys making such a big deal over this dreaded event? 1008 00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:50,956 Why are we celebrating my descent into oblivion? 1009 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:53,628 Come on, Mom. It's not that bad. Snap out of it. 1010 00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:54,909 Well, I mean, it is a milestone, 1011 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,588 and actually I am taking stock of my life 1012 00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,872 and trying to find some peace and quiet in my old age. So Milly, 1013 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,355 will you please bring Jason to the party? 1014 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:05,353 I would just love to meet him. 1015 00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:07,357 That's all I'm asking. 1016 00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:09,152 I understand, but isn't it my choice who I bring? 1017 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:10,116 I think it is. 1018 00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:11,116 Thank you. 1019 00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:12,918 Oh, all right. 1020 00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:14,275 Okay. 1021 00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:24,515 Oh my God. 1022 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,958 Mom, Eli says that's what I say right before I... 1023 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:29,794 No kidding? Me too. 1024 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,433 And you know it was funny the other night. 1025 00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,596 We hadn't had sex in so long. By the third one, 1026 00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:35,597 I was setting off the car alarms in the neighborhood 1027 00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:37,119 and dogs were barking and... 1028 00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:38,355 Three? 1029 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:39,629 - Is that normal? - Please. 1030 00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:41,637 Everyone knows I hold the record in this family. 1031 00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:47,795 Why are you so quiet? 1032 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:51,837 Because she's doing the oompa-loompa with two guys, Mom. 1033 00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:53,075 Stop it! 1034 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:54,759 What? Wait a minute. 1035 00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,188 At this point are you doing it with both of them at once? 1036 00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,231 No! I'm not. Absolutely not. 1037 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,429 Honey, I've been thinking about your situation with Jason. 1038 00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:16,837 Mom, I didn't ask for this. It happened to me. 1039 00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:25,594 Move on! 1040 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,755 Has anybody seen my G.I. Joe? 1041 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,513 Believe me, it's not in here. 1042 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,228 I left it on the bed. 1043 00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,955 Happy birthday, Mom! 1044 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:13,712 This is your favorite butterscotch cake. We made it. 1045 00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:15,831 Well, some of us made it. 1046 00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:17,589 It's really yummy. I tried some. 1047 00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:18,835 Make a wish, make a wish. 1048 00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,634 Make a wish, Mom. Make a wish. 1049 00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:38,997 Happy birthday! 1050 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:40,679 I'd like to propose a toast. 1051 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:43,914 To the incredibly unique Daphne Wilder, 1052 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:45,269 the fearless leader 1053 00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:46,959 of the Wilder women, 1054 00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,515 who I hope to someday call family. 1055 00:54:49,720 --> 00:54:51,199 You've created a wonderful family 1056 00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:54,312 and I hope when my folks stop through town 1057 00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,317 that Milly'll charm them as much as she's charmed me. 1058 00:54:57,800 --> 00:54:58,789 Cheers. 1059 00:54:59,000 --> 00:54:59,876 Cheers. 1060 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:01,479 - Cheers. - Cheers. 1061 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:02,591 Cheers. 1062 00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:05,828 - Oh, thank you so much. - Thank you. Thank you. 1063 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,592 Did you know he was going to do that? 1064 00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:13,279 Did he just propose? Because I think he just proposed! 1065 00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:14,959 I think he did. The question is to who? 1066 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,674 Maggie, stop being a killjoy. All right, girls, what do you think? 1067 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,078 He seems well-read and... 1068 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,237 Don't listen to your sisters, for God's sakes, sweetie. 1069 00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:24,998 Do not listen to them. Here's what I'm thinking. 1070 00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:27,112 I'm thinking his parents are from Connecticut, 1071 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:28,435 they're a little conservative, 1072 00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,551 so maybe you should just wear your pleated skirt. 1073 00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:32,830 - Mom, shh, shh, shh. Mom. - Just this once, honey. 1074 00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,952 It's just a gesture. Just make them more comfortable. 1075 00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,152 I understand it's a gesture, but Mom, this is moving very quickly. 1076 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,509 He just said all of this. 1077 00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:43,154 Milly, don't fight it. This is the way it's supposed to be. 1078 00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:44,958 You're just not used to feeling pursued and adored. 1079 00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:46,753 I hate pleated skirts. 1080 00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:49,398 Isn't this about the time we were going to sing? 1081 00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,160 - Great idea. Come on, Mills. - Yes, yes. 1082 00:55:54,720 --> 00:55:57,553 I met him on a Sunday... My voice. 1083 00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:06,831 And I missed him on Monday. 1084 00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,070 And I dated him Wednesday. 1085 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,034 I said, 'Bye, bye, baby.' 1086 00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,031 Will you take the soprano? 1087 00:56:40,720 --> 00:56:44,508 You know what? That's it. No, no. You're so out of control. 1088 00:56:44,720 --> 00:56:46,039 Well, what did I do this time? 1089 00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:47,389 Mom, you're embarrassing me. Jason's here. 1090 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,795 So, Jason, can I get you another one of these? 1091 00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:52,680 - Will I need one? - Yeah, they're just getting started. 1092 00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,475 Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. You're not going to go. 1093 00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,717 You're out of control. Milly's right. 1094 00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:00,831 - I don't know how she can take it. - I can't. I can't take it anymore. 1095 00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:04,999 Excuse me for just one moment here. I thought that this was my birthday, 1096 00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,400 my very big, special birthday. 1097 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:09,828 Yes, Mom. It's your big, special birthday. 1098 00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:11,678 That's how you should remember it. You're too old... 1099 00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:13,313 - Old? - Not too old, 1100 00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,078 but too old to be doing this to Milly. 1101 00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:16,554 You're pushing her like you pushed her into Girl Scouts. 1102 00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:18,591 Thank you very much. I'm not 10 years old anymore. 1103 00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:20,796 You have to stop. You have to change at some point. 1104 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:23,195 Fine, but I just want you girls to understand 1105 00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:25,550 something about motherhood, okay? 1106 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:27,273 - Mom. - Okay? 1107 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,949 I mean, it is the most impossible love. 1108 00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,312 You tell me when it ends. You tell me when it stops. 1109 00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:35,193 All I know is it's 1110 00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,595 absolutely fine for me to teach you 1111 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,519 how to walk and talk, and then you grow up 1112 00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,790 and you head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff, 1113 00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:45,634 and I'm supposed to just stand there and wave and go, 1114 00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:50,118 'Well, kids, good luck. It's Mom. I'm here.' Well, I can't do that! 1115 00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:52,717 What am I supposed to do, huh? 1116 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,194 Am I just supposed to put my feet up 1117 00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:57,517 at the end of the day and say to myself, 1118 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,111 'Well, you know, 1119 00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,869 they're on their own, and she says she's fine,' 1120 00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,435 - but you won't be! - Just stop it, goddamn it! 1121 00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:08,676 You are making me crazy and you're never going to change 1122 00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,359 because you don't even know when you're doing it. 1123 00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:11,635 Oh, well, I am going to stop, 1124 00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:14,434 as in right now, so let me tell you I am washing 1125 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:17,712 my hands of your emotional problems. 1126 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,234 I'm just a visitor 1127 00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,869 with a limited day pass from here on in! 1128 00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:24,835 Oh, my God. I can't even talk! 1129 00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:26,029 Mom. 1130 00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,434 Oh, my God. 1131 00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:32,910 Great. She loses her voice, and we are three days from Hungarian Flu. 1132 00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:35,914 You guys, the last time I had her at my house, Derek and I 1133 00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:37,752 were in therapy for two months. I can't do it with this. 1134 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,678 I know it's my turn technically, but you cannot... 1135 00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:41,911 we can't be in the same room together right now. 1136 00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:43,314 Rock, paper, scissors. 1137 00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,276 Rock, paper? Fine, fine, fine. 1138 00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:47,799 Hi. Oh, Ma, I'll take that. 1139 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,035 We know you're about to get sick 1140 00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,071 so we were going to rock, paper, scissors to see whose house 1141 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:52,872 you were going to stay at, because you know what, Mom? 1142 00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:53,751 We all want you to stay. 1143 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:55,188 We're fighting for you. 1144 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:57,595 Let's declare, guys, please? 1145 00:58:58,560 --> 00:58:59,470 Okay. 1146 00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:07,274 Oh, you win, Mills. That's great. 1147 00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,430 Have fun, you guys. 1148 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,473 - What for? - Because I'm here with you. 1149 00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:16,438 Women prefer him as a rule. 1150 00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:18,514 Shall we take a walk? 1151 00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:22,515 What? 1152 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,279 'You don't need to take care of me. 1153 00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:30,391 Go out and have fun with Jason.' 1154 00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:32,230 No. 1155 00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:33,634 No. Why? 1156 00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:37,870 'Because I said so.' 1157 00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:40,678 No, I'm not leaving. 1158 00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:44,396 They say dogs feel disoriented when they get debarked. 1159 00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:57,589 'Now there was a man 1160 00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:59,791 who knew how to be a man.' 1161 01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:04,440 'There's turkey meatloaf in the fridge.' 1162 01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:07,917 'What's an orgasm feel like? ' 1163 01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:27,990 Am... amazing? 1164 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,232 I don't know. Amazing and, like, um... 1165 01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:37,353 like being totally out of control. 1166 01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,149 Just like... 1167 01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:41,989 What? 1168 01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:45,549 'No, I wouldn't like that.' Yes, you would. 1169 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,597 Oh, Mom, no, no, no. It's not like being drunk. 1170 01:00:48,560 --> 01:00:51,438 It's just satisfying and... 1171 01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:55,233 like you're out of your body, 1172 01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:58,199 but you're in your body, and your toes curl under and... 1173 01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:01,911 That doesn't sound delicious, I know, but God, it's so delicious, 1174 01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,954 and you can laugh or cry, but like a good cry. 1175 01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:06,752 I mean, I've cried before. It's just like... 1176 01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:13,635 Yeah. 1177 01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:15,114 You know, just... 1178 01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:16,755 Oh, my God. 1179 01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:18,279 I can't believe I just said that to you. 1180 01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,835 I'm not explaining it right. I'm not explaining it right. 1181 01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,112 Didn't you ever have one with Dad? 1182 01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,670 'He said he didn't have all day, and he worked nights.' 1183 01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:43,869 Oh, Mom. 1184 01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:35,914 'Don't tell your sisters I asked.' 1185 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:16,989 Hello? 1186 01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,513 No, I'm sorry, she can't come to the phone right now. 1187 01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:20,829 Can I take a message? 1188 01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:25,955 You're calling about the personal ad? 1189 01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:30,476 I... Are you sure that you have the right number? 1190 01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:33,876 Yeah, Daphne Wilder. 1191 01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:37,196 Okay. Bye-bye. 1192 01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:42,399 Just a little belated birthday gift. 1193 01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:44,992 You like it? See, it brought me luck, 1194 01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:46,918 so I thought maybe it would bring you luck. 1195 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,319 Oh, do you like it, Mom? 1196 01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:52,749 Mom, I know. 1197 01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:56,790 I know all about your little ad 1198 01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:58,878 and I think it's so great. 1199 01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:01,839 It's so bold and so brave of you, 1200 01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:03,712 and finally it shows me that you heard us 1201 01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:04,909 at your birthday party. You're trying to live 1202 01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:07,156 your own life. And I want you to know, Mom... 1203 01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,392 You don't have to go through the personals to find love, 1204 01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:10,953 because that could be so, ugh... 1205 01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,230 terrifying. 1206 01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:19,116 Jason's uncle is coming into town next week 1207 01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:21,151 with his parents and he's dying to meet you, Mom. 1208 01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:23,430 Jason says he's, like, the most amazing guy in the entire world, 1209 01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:24,868 and I haven't even really told him about the... 1210 01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:26,672 All right, all right, fine. 1211 01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:27,790 Fine. 1212 01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:33,279 - Why didn't you marry? - I didn't know 1213 01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:34,833 what the war was like then. 1214 01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:38,389 If I had to do it over again, I'd marry him. 1215 01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:42,037 When I joined, I remembered having a... 1216 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,433 Oh, hello. 1217 01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,070 Is this Milly Wilder's home? 1218 01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:55,356 I'm Joe Dresden. I'm Johnny's father. 1219 01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:58,472 Are you Milly's mom? 1220 01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,117 This is Lionel. This is Johnny's boy. 1221 01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:09,115 'Daphne.' 1222 01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:12,314 'Can't talk.' Well, it's overrated. 1223 01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:15,475 Sign? Do you sign? 1224 01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:22,193 'Larry-ingitis.' 1225 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,149 'Laryngitis.' 1226 01:05:24,360 --> 01:05:25,634 That's the alternate spelling, I guess. 1227 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:27,717 I know Johnny had a date with Milly tonight, 1228 01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:29,478 and I was hoping to catch him. I can't reach him on his cell phone. 1229 01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:33,116 I stupidly misplaced my keys, and I... 1230 01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:34,992 can't get back into our house. 1231 01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:55,515 They're beautiful. 1232 01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,878 Three girls, wow, and all by yourself. 1233 01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:00,351 That couldn't have been easy. 1234 01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:05,276 Ah, I know, but still, it had to be tough. 1235 01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:11,033 'There's tougher things.' 1236 01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:14,116 Yeah, like trying to give you a compliment. 1237 01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:22,676 You know, what could be good for that throat 1238 01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:25,548 is a couple of drops of brandy. 1239 01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:28,551 Mine's feeling a little scratchy, too. 1240 01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:44,434 - Shall we take a walk? - We could get along. 1241 01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:45,995 Couldn't we? 1242 01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:48,073 You're sweet. 1243 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:50,552 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you're a dear. 1244 01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:53,349 What are you thinking about now? 1245 01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:56,552 About how nice it is. You're nice, too. 1246 01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:04,590 Besides, you're so very beautiful. 1247 01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:10,238 I'd be very glad to have you kiss me now, if you don't mind. 1248 01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:16,989 Women prefer him, as a rule. 1249 01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:24,708 Where is he now? 1250 01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:27,231 - Who? - The boy you're engaged to. 1251 01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:48,795 If I had to do it over again, I'd marry him. 1252 01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:24,071 Now we've got our basic tomato sauce. I took out about 1253 01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:25,594 two-thirds of it because if there's any mistake 1254 01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:28,792 that American cooks make when they're cooking... 1255 01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:31,037 pasta is that they tend 1256 01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:33,470 to over-sauce it. They put too much stuff on it. 1257 01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:35,159 In Italy, the main event is the noodle 1258 01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:36,998 and the rest is just the dressing, very much like 1259 01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,555 we dress salads. Now I've got it in there... 1260 01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:48,556 Hello? 1261 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,433 - Hi. - Hi. 1262 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:00,910 Hi. 1263 01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:02,635 Hi. 1264 01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:04,599 We were worried sick about you. 1265 01:09:06,120 --> 01:09:07,678 It's nice to see you again, Milly. 1266 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:09,475 You too. 1267 01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:10,999 It's a great night, isn't it? 1268 01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:13,111 - It's one for the books. - Yeah. 1269 01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:16,349 She has a 'gina, too. 1270 01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:18,196 Lionel. 1271 01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:24,312 As grants we grant you health. We grant you happiness. 1272 01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:26,829 We grant you someone else to water your plants. 1273 01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,229 Cheers. 1274 01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:31,714 Definitely. 1275 01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:34,353 Reggie's the toast giver. He's the real talker in the family. 1276 01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:37,472 Could somebody give me another bourbon and soda on the rocks? 1277 01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:38,430 Oh, no, you can't order bourbon. 1278 01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,119 They seem to be hitting it off. 1279 01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:43,037 - Definitely. Yeah. - Yeah. 1280 01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,714 And then I want you to try the buffalo filet while you're here. 1281 01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,516 You know, the buffalo was an endangered species up until 1282 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:51,835 a couple of years ago, and now we're eating them. 1283 01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:57,675 And you look out over the fields, 1284 01:09:57,880 --> 01:10:00,792 and what you see are herds of commercial buffalo... 1285 01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:06,038 I had a great time. Please tell your parents good night for me, okay? 1286 01:10:06,240 --> 01:10:07,798 - Good night. - Good night. 1287 01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:18,390 Tell me you're not seeing that guy, are you, Milly? 1288 01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:21,559 Yes, but I don't... 1289 01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:24,116 Actually, the 'yes' is all I needed to know. 1290 01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:26,709 No, no, no. But the 'but' part is really important, too. 1291 01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:28,797 'But' what? Not him. 1292 01:10:29,560 --> 01:10:30,515 Why? 1293 01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:32,631 Because he looks like some guy your mother would love. 1294 01:10:33,440 --> 01:10:35,556 Johnny, wait, though, this is really difficult for me, 1295 01:10:35,760 --> 01:10:37,716 and I've never been here before. I don't know how to navigate this. 1296 01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:38,875 Oh, poor thing. 1297 01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:40,559 Don't talk to me that way. 1298 01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:42,273 Oh, I'm sorry. What was I thinking? 1299 01:10:42,480 --> 01:10:44,118 You're involved with this guy to the point where you're 1300 01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:46,788 meeting his family, and I should be careful how I'm talking 1301 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:48,115 to you? 1302 01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:51,439 Are you sleeping with him? 1303 01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:58,917 I wouldn't say it that way. 1304 01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:02,718 Well, what way would you say it? 1305 01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:09,473 Are you going to stop seeing him? 1306 01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:15,152 - That pause says it all. - No, it doesn't! 1307 01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:16,475 That's not true! That's not true. 1308 01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:18,989 Oh, who are you? I can't even look at you. 1309 01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:26,075 Oh, God. 1310 01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:27,954 Oh, God. 1311 01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:31,312 The train has been delayed. 1312 01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:42,718 Excuse me. I'm going to go check on the soufflé. 1313 01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:55,668 Oh, no. 1314 01:11:57,840 --> 01:11:59,319 Oh, no! 1315 01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:03,874 Jason's finally met such a wonderful girl. 1316 01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:06,032 She's so sweet. 1317 01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:09,994 She has the loveliest spirit about her, but I still can't believe 1318 01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:12,430 he found her on the Internet. 1319 01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:14,758 Not like in our day. 1320 01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:18,915 That somehow reminds me of writing a phone number on a bathroom wall. 1321 01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:27,513 Sweetie, I think that we should... 1322 01:12:27,720 --> 01:12:29,597 - Are you dating somebody else? - What? 1323 01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:32,519 I just heard your mom on the phone talk about 1324 01:12:32,720 --> 01:12:34,631 how you're dating some girl you met on the Internet. 1325 01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:37,149 - Oh, it's nothing like that at all. - Uh, it's... 1326 01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:40,272 I'm surprised, and I don't even know if I have the right to be, 1327 01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:41,270 because to be honest I feel like 1328 01:12:41,480 --> 01:12:45,393 I need to tell you that I'm also dating somebody else. 1329 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:50,036 Well, first of all, to be honest, 1330 01:12:50,240 --> 01:12:51,958 you didn't need to be so honest. 1331 01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:54,392 I'm not seeing anyone but you. 1332 01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:56,428 But since we're being honest... 1333 01:12:57,440 --> 01:12:58,953 this is something I was saving for later. 1334 01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:05,309 What? 1335 01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:09,679 My mother's personal ad? 1336 01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:17,033 Oh, my God. 1337 01:13:17,720 --> 01:13:18,994 You sounded just like her there. 1338 01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:21,078 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1339 01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:23,157 Hey, hey, hey, why does it matter how we met? 1340 01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:25,510 You and my mom have been totally scheming, 1341 01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:27,233 and now I know exactly why she pushed me on you 1342 01:13:27,480 --> 01:13:29,550 because she was voting for you. She found you. 1343 01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:31,637 Yeah, that doesn't take anything away from us. 1344 01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:33,239 What matters is that we did meet 1345 01:13:33,440 --> 01:13:35,954 and how good this is between us, and the truth... 1346 01:13:36,160 --> 01:13:39,630 The truth? Where's the truth? Because you've been living a lie, 1347 01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:41,193 and I've been lying to you, Jason. 1348 01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:42,799 That doesn't change anything. 1349 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,479 How does that not change everything? 1350 01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:48,070 Because you're here. You already made your choice. 1351 01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:51,439 But if it helps, I'll say it. Stop seeing him. 1352 01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,319 Then you and I can get closer. 1353 01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:57,438 Close enough to spend the rest of our lives together. 1354 01:13:57,880 --> 01:13:59,552 I knew I had you the day I met you. 1355 01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:01,352 How could you know something like that? 1356 01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:04,388 Because you were so nervous you laughed like a hyena 1357 01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,158 in that beautiful polka-dot dress of yours. 1358 01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:07,554 Really? 1359 01:14:14,760 --> 01:14:15,476 I'll tell you one thing, though. 1360 01:14:15,720 --> 01:14:17,438 You did not have me the moment that we met 1361 01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:20,279 because I wasn't even sure that I liked the fact that your staff 1362 01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:22,516 talked about you behind your back at the dessert table, 1363 01:14:22,760 --> 01:14:24,398 and excuse me, but truth be told, 1364 01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:25,749 I didn't like anything that you ordered for me 1365 01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:27,837 on our first date except the calamari, 1366 01:14:28,040 --> 01:14:30,508 and okay, fine, yes, it was nice to not have to think for a change 1367 01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:33,109 but who wants someone who doesn't think? 1368 01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:35,795 Look, and sometimes you laugh when I cry 1369 01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:38,116 and say, 'huh? ' When I make perfect sense, 1370 01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:41,995 and never, ever in my life have I burnt a chocolate soufflé 1371 01:14:42,200 --> 01:14:44,509 until now, and that in and of itself, oh, my God, 1372 01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:46,711 should have told me I don't feel like myself 1373 01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:49,480 around you, and I would've decided that a long time ago 1374 01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:50,795 if it weren't for my mother, 1375 01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,594 because who wants someone who laughs like a hyena 1376 01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:57,509 in a polka-dot dress that my mother made me buy? 1377 01:15:00,240 --> 01:15:01,468 I love that dress. 1378 01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:04,994 Take her out. 1379 01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:18,950 Hey. 1380 01:15:22,360 --> 01:15:24,590 - Um, Stuart, this is an emergency. - Should I wait? 1381 01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:26,597 - Let's reschedule. - But I'm so unsettled. 1382 01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:28,233 This is making me feel like 1383 01:15:28,440 --> 01:15:29,839 - when I was the last picked... - And that's exactly 1384 01:15:30,040 --> 01:15:31,029 where we'll begin next week. 1385 01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:35,512 Maggie, you promised me 1386 01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:38,188 after Willy Matthews you would never lie to me again. 1387 01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:40,072 Oh, Milly-woo. Milly-woo. 1388 01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:41,269 - Stop. - I'm sorry. 1389 01:15:41,480 --> 01:15:43,869 Mommy made me promise not to say anything, or she'd be furious! 1390 01:15:44,080 --> 01:15:48,471 Mommy made you promise. Where is your own moral code, 1391 01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:50,796 your adulthood, your sisterhood? 1392 01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:52,195 Just... 1393 01:15:55,280 --> 01:15:56,429 I'm feeling rejected by you. 1394 01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:58,232 - Okay. - And it's bringing up memories 1395 01:15:58,440 --> 01:16:00,556 of summer camp when Jimmy Felton and Eric Fishman 1396 01:16:00,760 --> 01:16:02,113 both transferred out of my bunk. 1397 01:16:02,320 --> 01:16:03,673 I totally understand, Stuart. 1398 01:16:03,920 --> 01:16:06,957 Come back today, and we'll do a two-hour session at 3:00 p.m. 1399 01:16:07,160 --> 01:16:08,115 But... 1400 01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:10,831 Listen, you're right. I didn't handle this well, 1401 01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:12,632 and I understand you feel betrayed, 1402 01:16:12,840 --> 01:16:15,195 but really, isn't some of this anger a little misplaced? 1403 01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:18,198 No. No, Maggie. It's placed exactly where it should be, 1404 01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:19,230 and there is plenty to go around 1405 01:16:19,440 --> 01:16:20,759 so don't worry, Mom will be getting hers. 1406 01:16:20,960 --> 01:16:22,313 - Okay. - Maggie! 1407 01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:25,919 Stuart, I am asking you to empower yourself and leave. 1408 01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:28,031 This could be a huge day for you, Stuart. 1409 01:16:28,480 --> 01:16:29,549 This makes me feel like when I was 13 1410 01:16:29,760 --> 01:16:31,591 and no one came to my Bar Mitzvah. 1411 01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:32,835 Why didn't they come? I don't get it. 1412 01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:36,430 You have a blood sugar problem. Just get some lunch. You'll be fine. 1413 01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:38,710 - But... - Honey, I know this is painful. 1414 01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:40,269 Do you have any snacks in here? 1415 01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:41,869 Third shelf on the right. 1416 01:16:42,080 --> 01:16:44,435 Honey, instead of blaming Mom, you should really focus 1417 01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,432 on the fact that both of these guys went along with it. 1418 01:16:46,640 --> 01:16:49,598 I am, because I just told Jason that... 1419 01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:51,994 Guys. 1420 01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:55,115 Guys? 1421 01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:00,393 That was plural, wasn't it? 1422 01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:02,592 I feel like I don't know what you guys are talking about, 1423 01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:04,472 and it's making me feel very much out of the loop, 1424 01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:06,318 and it's making me want to jump out the window. 1425 01:17:06,520 --> 01:17:09,398 Stuart, for 10 years my sister has sat here and told me 1426 01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:11,477 you that were about to commit suicide. 1427 01:17:11,720 --> 01:17:12,630 Well? 1428 01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:17,198 You mean she's been talking about me? 1429 01:17:19,440 --> 01:17:20,395 Wow. 1430 01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:22,555 God. 1431 01:17:24,120 --> 01:17:26,918 Mom, are you there? Pick up the phone, Mom. 1432 01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:29,269 Hello? 1433 01:17:31,840 --> 01:17:33,831 You've reached Daphne... You've reached Daphne... 1434 01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:36,952 Daphne Wilder. Please leave a message after the tone. 1435 01:17:40,440 --> 01:17:42,670 Oh, my God. Oh, thank you, dear God. 1436 01:17:49,080 --> 01:17:49,990 Mom! 1437 01:17:56,720 --> 01:17:57,755 Mom! 1438 01:17:58,040 --> 01:17:58,950 Yeah! 1439 01:18:03,600 --> 01:18:04,510 Yeah! 1440 01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:08,517 Yes! 1441 01:18:08,880 --> 01:18:09,710 Oh, yeah! 1442 01:18:10,000 --> 01:18:10,796 Oh, my God! 1443 01:18:12,520 --> 01:18:14,112 Oh, my God! 1444 01:18:15,320 --> 01:18:18,517 Yes! Yes! Yes! 1445 01:18:20,360 --> 01:18:22,828 So the orange blueberry muffins are in here? 1446 01:18:23,040 --> 01:18:24,996 And the ones with the nuts are in here, too? 1447 01:18:25,200 --> 01:18:26,189 They're in there, too. 1448 01:18:26,880 --> 01:18:28,154 I had a little trouble with the frosting, 1449 01:18:28,360 --> 01:18:29,475 but I know how much you love buttercream. 1450 01:18:29,680 --> 01:18:32,240 Mother, I told you on the phone I need distance. 1451 01:18:32,520 --> 01:18:33,475 Okay. 1452 01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:35,033 Yeah, but it's a new recipe. 1453 01:18:35,240 --> 01:18:37,959 Tangerine instead of orange. For a clean slate? 1454 01:18:38,480 --> 01:18:40,914 Why don't you get it? I don't want to see you. 1455 01:18:41,120 --> 01:18:43,509 Milly, if I'm guilty of any crime, it's just that I just loved you 1456 01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:44,835 too much. 1457 01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:46,430 Here. 1458 01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:50,633 Milly, it was just so you. I... 1459 01:18:57,840 --> 01:18:58,750 Milly? 1460 01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:29,277 This isn't the way it was supposed to be. 1461 01:19:30,640 --> 01:19:32,278 Welcome to life. 1462 01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:36,634 Yeah, but I mean, how can I be happy if she's not happy? 1463 01:19:44,320 --> 01:19:46,276 Hey, it's Milly. Leave me a message. 1464 01:19:47,520 --> 01:19:49,511 Milly, it's your mother. 1465 01:19:49,880 --> 01:19:51,074 Daphne Wilder? 1466 01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:53,199 Please pick up. 1467 01:19:54,240 --> 01:19:55,798 It's been four days. 1468 01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,154 Okay. 1469 01:20:05,160 --> 01:20:06,878 What am I going to do? What am I going to do? 1470 01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:10,038 What are you? Nothing. Just do nothing. 1471 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:24,039 - Hi, it's Milly. Leave me a message. - Hi, Milly. This is your mother. 1472 01:20:24,280 --> 01:20:27,352 Hopefully you still have a mental picture of me. 1473 01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:29,916 We have the same hands 1474 01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:32,350 and ear lobes and love of 1475 01:20:32,720 --> 01:20:34,119 Bauer pottery. 1476 01:20:34,320 --> 01:20:36,914 I know that you asked me not to call you 1477 01:20:37,760 --> 01:20:38,954 and I respect that. 1478 01:20:39,160 --> 01:20:42,038 I just thought that you might like to know that I found 1479 01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:45,198 Grandma's recipe for your favorite Lady Baltimore cake. 1480 01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:47,231 The one from my third birthday. 1481 01:20:47,640 --> 01:20:49,437 The one from your third birthday. 1482 01:20:49,960 --> 01:20:51,552 You know what, Milly? Okay, you were right about Johnny. 1483 01:20:51,760 --> 01:20:54,354 Obviously he has more character. I mean, he's really 1484 01:20:54,640 --> 01:20:58,519 a good guy, and you should know 1485 01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:00,239 that he never saw that ad 1486 01:21:00,440 --> 01:21:02,317 and in fact we met by chance. 1487 01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:05,468 He was just an innocent bystander. 1488 01:21:09,560 --> 01:21:11,232 I know that I'm saying too much. 1489 01:21:11,760 --> 01:21:12,988 I've learned my lesson. 1490 01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:13,757 Good. 1491 01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:15,189 Because, 1492 01:21:15,720 --> 01:21:18,075 Milly, it's your life. 1493 01:21:18,600 --> 01:21:19,316 Yup, that's right. 1494 01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:22,034 That's absolutely right. 1495 01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:26,358 Hi, it's Milly. Leave me a message. 1496 01:21:27,360 --> 01:21:28,190 I know you're in there, 1497 01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:32,234 and it's fine with me that you've chosen not to pick up, but... 1498 01:21:33,480 --> 01:21:37,268 Milly, if you're in any way still pulled to Johnny, 1499 01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:39,517 then please don't let your pride 1500 01:21:39,720 --> 01:21:43,759 or our differences come between you getting what you want. Otherwise, 1501 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:47,551 honey, you're going to end up like some pathetic character 1502 01:21:47,760 --> 01:21:49,318 in a Tennessee Williams play. 1503 01:21:50,800 --> 01:21:53,109 Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. 1504 01:21:55,760 --> 01:21:56,749 Okay. 1505 01:22:17,480 --> 01:22:18,833 Milly, I... 1506 01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:20,874 Milly. 1507 01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:24,951 I never meant to hurt you so bad, 1508 01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:28,630 and I promise I will never, 1509 01:22:28,920 --> 01:22:31,912 ever interfere ever again. 1510 01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:37,715 I was... I was only... 1511 01:22:42,600 --> 01:22:44,192 I guess what I'm trying to say 1512 01:22:44,480 --> 01:22:45,674 is that 1513 01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:52,472 I was just trying to protect you from becoming me. 1514 01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:55,993 My sweet girl. 1515 01:23:00,480 --> 01:23:01,390 Mom? 1516 01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:06,675 Honey. 1517 01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:12,275 I miss you. 1518 01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:15,189 I miss you, too. 1519 01:23:24,640 --> 01:23:26,073 Solo on the four chord. 1520 01:23:31,240 --> 01:23:33,196 Alternate the bass line, will you? 1521 01:23:39,120 --> 01:23:40,712 Too late for spring sign-up. 1522 01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:42,239 I've actually been here before. 1523 01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:44,874 I came once on a Tuesday when it was closed, 1524 01:23:45,080 --> 01:23:46,399 and I just wanted to try and... 1525 01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:48,477 You know, I can't hear you. Sorry. 1526 01:23:49,920 --> 01:23:51,114 Please. 1527 01:23:57,680 --> 01:23:58,829 I miss you. 1528 01:24:01,160 --> 01:24:03,037 I miss us and... 1529 01:24:04,120 --> 01:24:05,155 I'm not seeing anybody. 1530 01:24:05,360 --> 01:24:06,509 That doesn't change anything for us, Milly. 1531 01:24:06,720 --> 01:24:09,837 Yeah, but Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so deeply sorry, 1532 01:24:10,040 --> 01:24:12,110 and I wish I could find a less cliché word for sorry, but... 1533 01:24:16,280 --> 01:24:17,679 It was an aberration. 1534 01:24:18,520 --> 01:24:21,034 It's not who I am, and I know 1535 01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:22,912 we can't start over but maybe we could... 1536 01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:27,071 maybe we could try this again. 1537 01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:32,198 I need to get back up there. 1538 01:24:47,520 --> 01:24:50,830 Okay, you're driving a bus. 750 people get on. 1539 01:24:51,360 --> 01:24:52,679 Two get off. 1540 01:24:53,240 --> 01:24:56,391 30.071 get on, 405 get off. 1541 01:24:56,840 --> 01:24:59,400 A thousand get on, 999 get off. 1542 01:25:00,680 --> 01:25:02,398 What color are the bus driver's eyes? 1543 01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:04,639 I don't know. 1544 01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:07,548 I said you're driving the bus. Get it, dummy? 1545 01:25:07,880 --> 01:25:08,915 You dummy! 1546 01:25:10,080 --> 01:25:14,039 Dummy? You did say that, Lionel. That's right. That's so good. 1547 01:25:14,240 --> 01:25:16,549 That is so great. That is so great. 1548 01:25:16,800 --> 01:25:19,314 - Want to hear it again? - Well, I mean, I don't know. 1549 01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:21,397 Actually, I thought you really nailed it that last time, so... 1550 01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:22,953 - Didn't he? - Just one more time. 1551 01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:23,990 Please? 1552 01:25:24,480 --> 01:25:25,276 - Okay. - Okay. 1553 01:25:25,480 --> 01:25:27,869 You're driving a bus. Five people get off. Six people 1554 01:25:28,080 --> 01:25:29,399 - get on. - Really? 1555 01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:31,955 Suddenly 1,000 get on. 1556 01:25:32,160 --> 01:25:34,355 - 775 million and one... - Hey, guys. 1557 01:25:36,760 --> 01:25:39,638 I forgot a few things at the market. I'm just... I'll be right back. 1558 01:25:39,920 --> 01:25:41,592 Dad, Dad, you've got to hear this punch line. 1559 01:25:41,920 --> 01:25:43,399 Oh, yeah, you really, really, you have to stick around for this. 1560 01:25:43,600 --> 01:25:44,794 Think you've got to, Johnny. 1561 01:25:46,520 --> 01:25:48,238 - Okay, Dad. - What is it? 1562 01:25:48,520 --> 01:25:49,714 - You're driving a bus. - Yeah. 1563 01:25:49,920 --> 01:25:51,558 A billion million katrillion get on. 1564 01:25:52,040 --> 01:25:54,156 I cannot believe you are here. You are truly insane. 1565 01:25:54,360 --> 01:25:56,476 - 200 billion million get off. - Well, this is a surprise to you? 1566 01:25:56,680 --> 01:25:58,591 Daphne! You're not listening! 1567 01:25:58,800 --> 01:26:00,836 Honey, oh, no, no, no. Oh, I swear. Of course I'm listening. 1568 01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:04,191 Okay, Dad and Daphne. You're driving a bus. 1569 01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:07,278 500 katrillion kazillion 1570 01:26:07,480 --> 01:26:10,517 - get on, but zero... - Lionel, look. 1571 01:26:10,720 --> 01:26:12,312 - A blimp. - Where? 1572 01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:13,714 - Right there. - I can't see it. 1573 01:26:13,920 --> 01:26:14,989 - Right there. - Where? Tell me. 1574 01:26:15,200 --> 01:26:16,189 Look harder. 1575 01:26:21,440 --> 01:26:23,078 I've wanted to talk to you for the past few days, 1576 01:26:23,320 --> 01:26:25,038 and I haven't had the nerve. 1577 01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:26,833 That I find hard to believe. 1578 01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:29,398 Johnny, you have too much pride. 1579 01:26:30,080 --> 01:26:31,638 I prefer to call it common sense. 1580 01:26:31,840 --> 01:26:34,559 It's pride, and it's a quality you and I share. 1581 01:26:34,760 --> 01:26:37,228 It's an admirable one until it becomes a wall. 1582 01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:41,037 'Well, yes, I am alone, but at least I have 1583 01:26:41,280 --> 01:26:42,872 my righteous anger to keep me company at night.' 1584 01:26:43,080 --> 01:26:44,957 Come on, that's not a life, and you know it. 1585 01:26:45,160 --> 01:26:47,720 And let's face it. I mean, if it wasn't for me, 1586 01:26:47,920 --> 01:26:50,673 obviously Milly never would have betrayed you in the first place. 1587 01:26:50,880 --> 01:26:52,757 So what are you doing, Johnny? What are you doing? 1588 01:26:52,960 --> 01:26:54,916 Why waste one more minute of your life? 1589 01:26:56,520 --> 01:26:57,555 And I'm right. 1590 01:26:58,280 --> 01:27:00,555 I'm so right. 1591 01:27:01,200 --> 01:27:02,315 Damn it. 1592 01:27:02,560 --> 01:27:03,754 For once, she is. 1593 01:27:07,560 --> 01:27:08,834 Jeez, you guys, no one's 1594 01:27:09,040 --> 01:27:11,918 listening. If Milly was here, she'll get my joke. 1595 01:27:12,120 --> 01:27:15,715 You're driving a bus. 10 people get on, and 10 people get off... 1596 01:27:19,400 --> 01:27:21,038 See, that's the fun of the tuna pasta toss 1597 01:27:21,280 --> 01:27:23,430 because it's delicious and it's easy, 1598 01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:25,352 because when you're cooking for one, 1599 01:27:25,560 --> 01:27:27,755 it's really important to look forward to the end result, you know? 1600 01:27:27,960 --> 01:27:29,632 What if you want to make it for two? 1601 01:27:35,920 --> 01:27:40,471 It's a little bit more complicated, but I think it can be done. 1602 01:27:46,480 --> 01:27:49,119 I see some of you've gone ahead and already added your carrots 1603 01:27:49,320 --> 01:27:53,154 and your pickled relish, and remember that some people like dill. 1604 01:27:53,360 --> 01:27:56,158 Even before I met you, I had an instinct about you. 1605 01:27:57,160 --> 01:27:58,513 Once I saw you were a woman 1606 01:27:58,720 --> 01:28:02,315 with profound static cling, I wanted to be that force around you. 1607 01:28:03,960 --> 01:28:07,111 Personally, I love dill. I think it's... not used enough, 1608 01:28:07,320 --> 01:28:09,550 and very underrated, sort of like mayonnaise, and I also 1609 01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:12,194 really love olive oil for tuna. 1610 01:28:12,800 --> 01:28:15,633 I love that when I breathe you in, you smell of cake batter. 1611 01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:20,518 And I love that you have this insane way 1612 01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:23,439 of talking in circles that makes perfect sense. 1613 01:28:25,560 --> 01:28:26,595 I do? 1614 01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:30,473 Because sometimes I feel like nobody understands me but... 1615 01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:31,715 Me. 1616 01:28:32,520 --> 01:28:33,635 I get you. 1617 01:28:36,640 --> 01:28:38,153 That's wonderful, 1618 01:28:38,360 --> 01:28:40,396 but you know my bladder is about to pop. 1619 01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:42,638 Can you hold it for a minute? 1620 01:28:47,280 --> 01:28:49,748 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. Where were we? 1621 01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:54,111 With the tuna pasta and the tuna noodle doodles, 1622 01:28:54,320 --> 01:28:56,993 - tuna sandwiches, tuna... - I love your eyes. 1623 01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:00,275 I even love... 1624 01:29:03,080 --> 01:29:04,149 your mother. 1625 01:29:43,880 --> 01:29:44,790 Where is she? 1626 01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:46,399 It should have started 20 minutes ago. 1627 01:29:46,600 --> 01:29:48,272 - That's not like her. - The ceremony has to start soon. 1628 01:29:48,480 --> 01:29:49,469 I don't know where she is, though. 1629 01:29:52,360 --> 01:29:53,270 Oh, my God. 1630 01:29:53,480 --> 01:29:55,994 - I'm worried. I hope she's okay. - Just call her. 1631 01:29:56,200 --> 01:29:58,794 - All right, I'm calling. - It's her own wedding. 1632 01:30:00,720 --> 01:30:02,517 Oh, oh, no! 1633 01:30:05,120 --> 01:30:06,872 Oh, hi, honey. 1634 01:30:07,080 --> 01:30:09,389 Hi, Mom! Where are you? 1635 01:30:10,680 --> 01:30:12,398 I just have to talk to you a little bit later okay? 1636 01:30:13,960 --> 01:30:17,270 Oh, my God. I kind of think she's having sex with Joe right now. 1637 01:30:17,480 --> 01:30:19,710 Great. Would she like us to explain that 1638 01:30:19,920 --> 01:30:21,319 to all the guests or just the preacher? 1639 01:30:21,520 --> 01:30:22,839 She's a woman after my own heart. 1640 01:30:23,040 --> 01:30:24,792 All right, Mom. We are going to give you 1641 01:30:25,000 --> 01:30:25,591 five more minutes. 1642 01:30:25,800 --> 01:30:26,994 Ten. Ten. 1643 01:30:27,320 --> 01:30:28,514 Mom, come on! 1644 01:30:28,720 --> 01:30:30,358 Open up the champagne, sweetie. What's the rush? 1645 01:30:30,560 --> 01:30:32,312 Because I said so! 1646 01:30:32,520 --> 01:30:34,158 Mom, don't hang up the phone on me! 1647 01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:38,918 You've got soul 1648 01:30:39,440 --> 01:30:41,158 and everybody knows 1649 01:30:41,360 --> 01:30:44,875 that it's all right, oh, it's all right. 1650 01:30:46,680 --> 01:30:49,831 When you wake up early in the morning 1651 01:30:50,560 --> 01:30:53,996 feeling sad like so many others do... 1652 01:30:55,080 --> 01:30:58,789 Hum a little soul, make life your goal... 1653 01:30:59,240 --> 01:31:03,916 Surely something's got to come to you and say it's all right. 1654 01:31:04,120 --> 01:31:05,792 It's all right. 1655 01:31:06,600 --> 01:31:08,079 It's all right. 1656 01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:10,398 It's all right. 1657 01:31:10,880 --> 01:31:13,758 It's all right, have a good time, 1658 01:31:14,480 --> 01:31:16,118 because it's all right, 1659 01:31:16,320 --> 01:31:18,390 oh, it's all right. 1660 01:31:20,120 --> 01:31:21,519 Are we married or what?