I'm coming!
You're from the agency?
Jesus, you're young!
Come on in. Well, come on. What are you waiting for, for goodness' sake?
I'm just getting everything ready.
You're very lovely.
Are we starting right away?
Yes.
Except I haven't quite decided which one to do first.
(I lie. Who am I kidding?)
Excuse me? I said, "I lie."
I know perfectly well I have to do the one I can't get out of my head.
A little scary,
a little extraordinary.
My favourite story.
The Millennium. The night nation showed off to nation.
The river of fire, the ghastly beacon,
the Dome.
Heartbreakingly empty, wasn't it?
Full of people, of course, but utterly empty.
Should I start now, Mr Sneath? Should I be typing this?
It's like one of those awful quizzes you hear on the radio, isn't it?
What's the link between the French novelist, Georges Simenon, said to have slept with over 2,000 women,
cycle lanes, and the Queen of England lighting her disgusting beacon on Millennium night?
The curious link between those furious French buttocks and the Queen...
No, no, no, don't look like that!
It's fine, I'm just writing a book.
But I'm going to pace, so be prepared for that,
and I'll make sure there's no X-certificate glimpses from down there.
Or failing that, they're kept to the absolute minimum so... start,
let's start with the red carpet.
It's May 1997,
barely a couple of weeks after the end of 18 years of Tory rule,
Labour's first colossal victory.
A film premiere, nothing special, a big action movie.
As it turned out, the exploding carpet was by far the best feature of the evening.
Look this way, over here!
Oh, my God. This is how to do it.
She looks amazing.
Gideon! Wonderful to see you!
That was some entrance, Diane.
You bet! I'm not one to look a gift horse in the teeth, or whatever the expression is.
My daughter, Natasha, you haven't met. Your daughter?
What a gorgeous daughter you have, Gideon.
You are gorgeous, Natasha.
So glad you're here, Gideon!
If I could wish somebody to be here, anybody in the world, you're the one!
One of the ones, just possibly. If you insist.
I know you don't do personal PR any more, far too grand.
Yes, I do, a few people. You do?
The chosen ones! The lucky few. How do I become one of those?
I'll commit murder to become one of them.
Just pick up the phone.
Liar! That definitely isn't true. That's such a lie.
I have to ask your advice, Gideon.
Something very small and something else rather huge.
I'll try calling you very early one day.
Isn't this lovely? It's like being on the Titanic!
Look at me, I'm gobbling as usual and you eating like a bird, as always.
I stuff myself at home, of course.
I have to discuss this with your dad, the seating plan,
always fascinating but tonight even more than usual.
Look, the old Tories still near the centre of the room but definitely edged outwards.
Next year, they'll be right by the kitchens. I might write a quick book about them.
They can't believe they've said goodbye to power.
Table six is interesting.
And all the time, people - look, just watch - people glancing up at your dad.
Stop hyping me to my own daughter, Will, for Christ's sake!
He doesn't have to work the room. He's got someone else doing it for him.
Yeah, I've met Andrew.
He's always like that, never still for a moment.
That's why your dad can afford to sit like this - lord of all he surveys.
Hello, darling.
Thought I would skip the movie, it's usually safe to do that.
Very loud, was it?
If anybody asks, I can say it was wonderfully loud, can't I? Hi, Natasha! Hi.
It's buzzing in here anyway, it hit me even out in the passage.
I'm going to enjoy tonight.
Ah! A signal.
A signal that cannot be ignored.
Excuse me.
Amazing vibe in that room, isn't there?
You too? That's what Barbara said.
You must be able to feel it.
Everybody's so excited to be in power. It's very ripply in there, it's great!
So what's so urgent, Andrew?
A messenger is coming. We are to receive an important message.
When? Tomorrow morning.
Nicholas Dent wants to come and see us tomorrow. Nick Dent!
He's an important messenger? I don't believe it.
Why not? He's just outside the cabinet. The first reshuffle and he'll be in. What is his message?
It'll change all of our lives, he said.
Do we want our lives changed?
Maybe. Who knows?
Hi. Great movie, Steve!
Noisy, certainly, but the chases, the tunnels, all of that was really well done.
And the splat factor, great splat factor!
It's going to be a monster hit.
I liked the ducks.
You know,
the ducks are my favourite bit.
She looks great, your daughter.
A chip off the old block, huh?
Gideon? Hello?
Shall I tell him to come? In the morning, the messenger?
How about 6.45?
Ten past seven.
What time is it?
7.16.
He keeps ME waiting.
LAUGHS OUT LOUD The bastard!
Mr Dent? Gideon is ready for you now.
Great pictures.
Cripes!
Jesus, Gideon!
It's like coming to visit some European ambassador, or some incredibly expensive shrink.
It's good, isn't it?
I like this view, particularly.
Sit, Nick, please!
Can I offer you anything? Juice? We have plum juice.
I'll skip all refreshments, I don't want to waste any valuable time with you negotiating my coffee order.
No plum juice? That was a fantastic idea, Gideon.
Was it VE Day or VJ day anniversary?
That plane? Those flowers said it all.
What made it great was not this bit at Buckingham Palace, but continuing it afterwards.
Leaving this trail across the city.
Housing estates, bus stations, school playgrounds.
All the time mixing up different flowers.
Poppies and large white daisies.
Blimey, you two! What am I being softened up for?
I see you've already briefed Andrew.
What is this momentous thing?
Something that is perfect for you.
Which is?
We're probably going to go ahead with this Dome, you know this wonderful
magic Tory Dome, which is going to rise by the Thames.
We'd love your input towards the Dome. Indeed, we will expect it,
but what we've got for you is even bigger.
The Dome only makes sense, of course, if we sell Britain itself to the world.
We want you to place the Dome in the wider canvas.
Make this country number one in the world on the night in question,
the most important night for a thousand years.
Now you can't get much bigger than that, can you, Gideon?
So, church bells ringing out, tightrope walkers in each city centre? That's what you want?
That's precisely what we don't want.
We want our friends in the regions to rise to the challenge
whilst making them think it was their idea in the first place. It's what you're brilliant at.
I'll walk you out.
I have to go to another meeting.
My car's just around the corner.
Would you run ahead and get it? I'll meet you at the end.
You know, you become a minister and you think, "Great, now my car can wait for me on double yellow lines."
Not a bit of it.
Quite the contrary.
I don't qualify for a detective. I might get shot walking to my car.
Mr Dent, you broke your promise, and I will not stand for it any more! I did not break any promise.
You have broken your word! Let go of me at once and I will explain.
You can't explain.
Two years this has gone on for, and nothing's happened.
Bill, please let go.
But it is outrageous, it is totally outrageous that you've done nothing yet.
And what we ask is so small! It's so pathetically small.
I will see that Mr Dent and I make the calls. Who the hell are you? Mr Dent is a client of mine.
We will go inside now, that's my office, right there.
If you let go, we'll go in there and start making the calls.
This is just another way of fobbing me off. You know it is.
You know it'll lead nowhere, just like everything else.
We're going inside right now to make those calls Go on, then. That's correct.
That is what we are going to do. Get in there and make them calls.
And you'd better understand, pal!
I will never, ever give up!
HE COUGHS
Are they still there?
Oh, yeah. They're still there.
I ought to phone the car.
They'll think I've vanished from the street.
What's this about?
Oh, it's
just one of those cases.
You've never been to an MP's surgery, have you?
So many nutters,
obsessed people,
deranged people.
He's one of those.
I've been here 68 times.
It's something very simple and sad.
Their child was killed, their son, on his bicycle.
It was the first time he'd ever ridden it out on the street, he was going down a cycle lane.
There was no law suit possible.
They just want to show me, as their local MP,
and the relevant members of the local council, that they consider the cycle lane was dangerously routed.
They've drawn endless diagrams, and we've looked at them,
but they just want us actually standing where it happened, so that he can show us.
Why won't you go?
I'll go,
of course I'll go!
But getting council representatives and me all there at the same time,
such a simple thing has proved impossible.
The council all hate me. They've been advised against taking part.
It goes on and on.
That's all they want? At the moment.
I'll try and arrange it. Why would you arrange it? Why would you want to do that?
We can't have you being stalked all over London, can we?
LOUDSPEAKER CRACKLES
I'm not going to use this after all.
Twitchy bunch, aren't they?
Always, wherever you go now, there are the advisers.
Can everybody hear me?
I will re-enact my son's last bicycle ride.
No photographs! We agreed no photographs!
Just thought it was worth a try. Put your camera down!
Can't stop me wearing them.
My son
our son, Adam
came round this corner here, you see.
And he comes round,
using the cycle lane,
just as he is meant to.
Keeping close to this kerb,
and er,
as you can see
his view is obscured by this overhanging tree
and most particularly by the big red pillar box that's standing right at the edge of the cycle lane.
There are no warnings, there's no bollards,
no sign of any kind of the busy intersection that lies ahead.
So you see, he is cycling here,
straight into the path of the oncoming traffic.
You're too far away. It's all right, Bill, they can hear you.
But they're too far away. Everybody's too far away!
The agreement was that we would walk the route. We can see from here, we have an excellent view.
The agreement was that we would walk the route.
There was no agreement to walk the route.
There was an agreement to attend this meeting, and to observe the route. No
there was an agreement, a formal agreement to walk the route.
Let go of me, let go!
Let go! Stop it! Stop it!
All right, calm down. All right.
Let me go. They completely broke our agreement.
All right, I'm calm, I'm calm, thank you, I'm calm.
Thank God that's over.
I'm sorry, that's not what should have happened.
I was sort of expecting it, really.
Bill has to do these things.
He takes out his rage on people, it helps him.
I don't get embarrassed any more.
I don't think he'll ever really hurt anyone.
Do you know where he was going?
Do you need to catch up? I can give you a lift.
No, I don't need to catch him.
But a lift would be good.
I think I got some photos. Well, I know I got some photos.
I just wonder whether the one of her being dragged along will come out.
Where can I drop you? Well, I'm going all the way home to Southall.
I really don't suppose you want to take me there,
so the Tube will be fine.
I don't live round here any more, no.
Bill and I are not together any more.
I'm sorry.
Was that, um
after the accident?
Things are never simple, are they?
It had been brewing for a while.
But we are friends.
Even when he's attacking people.
I have a slightly different method of getting by.
So you're an adviser too, aren't you? An image maker?
Uh, yeah, that's right, I suppose. A consultant for a variety...
For the Government - that sort of thing? You can drop me here.
Are you sure? Yeah, that'll be fine.
So where are you going now, then? A bunch of VIPs? Some more politicians?
No, I'm going to my daughter's school, actually. It's her end-of-term assembly, her last one.
She's leaving school, and she's doing a poem or something.
That's great. Are you going to tape it?
Tape it? Yes, video it. You've got to video it.
Her last school assembly? You must!
You'll regret it if you don't.
You'll want to look back on her... on her last day of school.
Here - you can borrow this. No, thank you, that's very kind, but I couldn't. Rubbish! Come on.
You don't want to be seen videoing at your daughter's posh school. That's it, isn't it?
Too embarrassed!
Come on, take it.
How do I get it back to you?
Nine at night till seven in the morning every weekday.
You can have it dropped off there. You work at night? Yes.
Ambling nymph.
I, that am curtailed of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinished, sent before my time.
Into this breathing world scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable.
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them.
APPLAUSE
And now for Natasha Warner and Gabriella Laquaz with something they have written themselves.
They call it A French Surprise.
Sounds interesting to me.
So...
Georges Simenon was a French writer, a famous writer of police stories.
He created this great detective and slept with hundreds and hundreds of women.
Maybe 2,000 women, if we are to believe the man himself!
Now, his daughter, Marie-Jo, felt an extraordinary, unnaturally strong love for her dad - obsessive love.
And, in the end, she killed herself, at the age of 25.
So this is a song about that.
Oh, um
the title. It's just called "Papa".
♪ I see you from my window
♪ Walking with her there
♪ I don't need to know which number
♪ I won't stop you touch her hair
♪ I don't need to see you waving
♪ When you slip away at night
♪ I don't have to know what happened
♪ As you crawl back when it's light
♪ I don't need to catch you with them
♪ Your voice so full of joy
♪ As you murmur your little nothings
♪ My own papa, so very coy
♪ Mon cheri, Papa
♪ I don't need you to say you love me
♪ I don't need you to say good night
♪ I don't need you to caress me
♪ I don't need to be held tight
♪ I only want you to be ready
♪ To know my voice will never ring
♪ To know there'll never be another letter
♪ You've got to hear this one small thing
♪ I need you to remember
♪ That I never was your shame
♪ I always was your daughter
♪ I never did complain
♪ I always was your daughter
♪ And never did complain. ♪
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
It's typical of writers. They shag a lot!
GIRLS LAUGH Are you going to take a gap year?
I'm pretty sure I'm going to take a gap year.
Gabby and me are going to do something rather amazing.
All being well, we're going to go to South America.
When? Well, soon, soon as possible. What are you doing out there?
We'll be working with a conservation group, trying to protect the jaguar and its habitat.
I've always wanted to work in conservation.
We get to go in the jungle and everything!
Armed patrols... Armed patrols?!
And hacking through the undergrowth. It's fantastic! Hi, Dad!
Hi. Hi.
Great song. Weird, huh? Slightly surprising, maybe.
French Surprise.
What's this about the jungle and jaguars?
This... Well... We're going to be late! Come on, Tash!
Dad, I've got to go celebrate! See you later. Yep, see you.
Bye, Tash!
Should be quite buzzy tonight.
I know you don't want to come to this party, but you will love the venue.
It's a really interesting space.
I'm sure you'll want to use it for something.
Do you know, darling, I've counted nearly 27 invitations over the next two weeks - can you believe it?
God knows what I'm going to wear to all of them!
Come in.
Hi, Dad.
Is this a serious idea
the South American jungle?
Sure. Absolutely. The first I've heard about it.
I know. It's not arranged yet.
When it was more definite, I was going to mention it.
So it's not definite?
If I get the A grades I need, which I won't,
then I might go to Edinburgh.
But I want to do this.
As a matter of interest, what were you saying with that song?
What made you choose that subject?
It was a sad story
about love.
It's just a song, Dad.
Now you're finally in power, I hope you won't be in too much of a hurry.
Still leave time to go shopping with ME.
A-ah!
Gideon, I hear you're going to amaze us on Millennium night.
Even God's going to be impressed, forced to watch only us.
Did I say yes to that job? I can't... I can't quite remember.
Don't start worrying me now!
Of course you did! He pretends it doesn't grab him but he's been thinking about nothing else.
Robert! ..I've got to go.
I do not believe it! It's got to be the third time this week!
I've had a call.
From? I know it's very difficult to surprise you, but this will surprise you.
Anyway, we need to find somewhere more private, because this gangway has ears. Follow me.
A musical about naval cadets. Your hopes aren't exactly high, I know.
There you are!
This is a good moment, isn't it?
A good moment for what? To decide the next stage of my life.
Anyway, here goes. You are not going to escape, and there are three stages to this question,
because there is a surprise complication coming up.
If I was to accept, you know, to become the face of you-know-who,
I just wonder...
VOICE FADES: Of course it will reflect on my image as a serious actress.
On the other hand, visibility. Visibility beyond my wildest dreams.
HER VOICE IS VERY FAINT
SILENCE
HUBBUB OF VOICES RETURNS
Maestro?
What do I do?
So, do it. Do it? Really?
What, all of it?
What about the complication? You really mean do it all?
All of it, absolutely!
Take care. I've just remembered I've got to do something.
MUSIC WITH HEAVY BEAT PLAYS
Good evening.
That was quick.
I didn't mean you had to bring it back the same day.
Well, I thought, why not?
It gave me a good excuse to leave a horrible party. You're giving it back with the tape still in it!
There's nothing really on it. You should still keep it. Otherwise it was pointless.
It's not worth keeping.
What did your daughter do at the concert that makes you want to get rid of it so quickly?
She sang a song about obsessive love.
ELECTRONIC BEEPING
Your wife?
No, I have no wife.
Your girlfriend? No.
She's never bothered where I am,
but my business partner is another matter entirely though.
Excuse me.
Andrew. Gideon, where the hell are you?
You disappeared. I had to do something, it was unavoidable.
And I needed some... Badalamenti wants to see us. He wants to use us.
Really? We're to be inspected by his foot soldiers in a week or so, and then the man himself is coming.
Great. You can do better than "great".
This is the biggest news we've had.
Say something more than "great".
I'll call you first thing tomorrow, Andrew.
Good news? One of the biggest media tycoons in the world wants us to represent him.
It could be worth a lot of money.
So it is good news?
I think it must be, mustn't it?
CLOCK RINGS
It's my break.
I need a good reminder each night.
Can I, er... Can I
take you somewhere for your break?
What, just pop out to the nearest four-star restaurant at one o'clock in the morning?
I don't think so.
I bring my own provisions,
tend to tuck in over there.
SQUEAKING Jesus, what's that noise?
Noise?
Oh, that's just a few rodents.
Hamsters, guineas.
Hanif and I keep them, as company.
You don't mind a few rodents, do you?
What do you do with all these politicians and VIPS then?
Advise them on their
tone of voice, the colour of their clothes, their hair?
I have done that in my time.
Very obedient, are they?
Invariably.
You must remind me of hand gestures, by the way.
Oh! Er...
Why are you here in the middle of the night?
I needed to bring your camera back.
Well, if you're still sticking to your story, there's really not much point, is there?
Why do you work in a 24-hour store?
Because I lost my child and I split up with my husband and I'm afraid to go to bed every night.
I mean, I would have thought that that would be really quite simple to work out.
I'm sorry.
That was crass of me.
Oh!
Er, I just needed to change the subject.
It's OK, I don't mind.
Next time I'll make you answer.
Oh shit!
I've lost your guinea pig.
Come on!
We can catch him.
We'll have to move fast because there's lots of places for it to hide. Guinea pig!
Guinea pig!
So, the great Gideon Warner,
on all fours,
looking for a rodent.
Sex.
Sex is not going to embarrass you, is it? If we talk about sex now?
I don't think so.
I'll tell you if it does.
Ah right! "Normal" sex is fine, is it?
Is that what you mean?
Well, in one way this is normal, but in another way, it isn't.
It's a Sunday morning and the fact is, if you think
about it, a lot of people will have heard the news whilst having sex.
Of all the major extraordinary news stories that have ever happened,
there are very few one can confidently say that about.
But this one, it was true.
PHONE RINGS
'Hello, it's me.'
Andrew? What the hell is it? 'Switch on the television.'
I never switch on the television this early.
You must switch on the television. What is it? What's happened?
Princess Di, she's been in a car crash. It's really bad.
Princess Diana, is she dead?
What are they saying?
What? Can I talk to him?
Is she dead?
They've just said she died, they've just announced it.
How extraordinary!
God, what will this mean? I think it will mean the end of Charles.
Absolutely, absolutely. I agree totally.
Yeah. I mean, it's amazing!
Just when you think you know where everything is heading.
I can't get over it. What are you on, one or three?
Mr Badalamenti will want the agenda to be very clear next week.
The questions about foreign ownership, the questions on the size of the market.
Mr Badalamenti will wish to see definite replies to all these questions before the meeting.
I understand everything you say, gentlemen.
Everything.
Don't worry, I'm not at full throttle today.
I am sorry, that it wasn't a complete success, the demonstration.
It had its moments.
For me, anyway.
I'll be at them again of course.
Just collecting a few for the cycle lane.
For my son.
You don't think they'll miss a few from here, do you?
No, they won't.
'..The driver's ability to see where he's going,
'so many flowers are being hurled...' PHONE RINGS.
Hello. 'I had to come over.'
I have to see this with you.
'Can I come in, Gideon?'
Yeah.
Great, great.
That was Andrew.
He wants to watch it with us. Mm.
'It's almost as though a people's wreath was assembling itself on the roof of the hearse.'
HE WHISTLES
This is amazing, absolutely amazing!
Extraordinary, I've never seen anything like it before,
it's like from another century.
You're going to yell at me for this, Gideon,
but this is because of you.
Because of me?
Sure. The flowers, two years ago, across the city,
subconsciously, that set this up.
This is you! Jesus, Andrew, whatever will you be crediting me with next?
There you are. I thought you would be watching this.
I've been out in the street, it's a
little hysterical out there.
Have you definitely decided?
Your plans?
I think so.
Are you going to tell me your A-level results?
For Christ's sake, it has been days!
No other parent doesn't know his daughter's A-level results.
I got three A's.
That's terrific, that's fantastic, darling.
I'm still going,
to the jungle. Which is where?
It's where the scheme is
which is in Columbia. Columbia?!
Jesus, Natasha, that is the most dangerous country in the world!
I will be with people. Of course you will be with people.
Don't push me, Dad, that's the quickest way to...
Don't push you! What will you do?
Will you at least keep your place at Edinburgh open while I research this scheme?
Will you do that?
Will you do that for me?
This is amazing, this is pure Gideon, a snow storm of white daises. Come take a look, Gideon.
Come on, come on, you must.
I'll think about it.
♪ I only want you to be ready
♪ To know my voice will never ring
♪ To know they'll never be another letter
♪ You've got to hear this one small thing
♪ I need you to remember
♪ That I never was your shame
♪ I always was your daughter and I never did complain
♪ I always was your daughter
♪ And never did complain. ♪
PHONE RINGS Hello? 'Good morning.'
Good morning, you just caught me deep in guinea pig shit.
Can you call me in precisely three minutes?
Please, I need you to do this.
Yes.
Good morning, everyone.
ALL: Good morning, Gideon.
Why don't YOU kick us off, Andrew, tells us what's important this week.
Well, I think everybody here knows perfectly well this is a big week.
Go on. Tell us a little more.
Well, obviously it's not just big because we have got Badalamenti here today, actually in these offices,
but it's big because of where it's going to lead.
We are a very influential but small firm.
Now we have a chance to become a much bigger concern with everything that's happening.
Instead of running the risk of being swallowed by some bigger outfit,
we will, however indelicate this sounds, be doing the swallowing ourselves.
Nothing must get in the way of that.
You take the words, er...
You take the words right out of my, er...
PHONE RINGS
Thank you.
Yes, that's interesting news.
I understand.
I'll come at once if that's what you want.
Something has come up.
I thought it might, and it has.
You will be back for the pre-Badalamenti briefing in two hours?
Naturally.
What do you take me for?
Jump in, I'll take you wherever you want to eat, anywhere.
No, you jump out, we'll eat round the corner. We're going to eat round here?
Are you sure?
Not exactly busy.
I've eaten here once before, it was terrific.
Business is obviously a bit erratic at the moment.
This is delicious.
Told you so.
And I like small helpings.
Why did I have to make that call to get you out of that meeting?
I wanted to see you. I needed to see you.
And that's your usual method, is it?
For inviting people out? "Phone me in precisely three minutes."
I was thinking about you when I was cleaning out the guinea pigs' poo,
before you rang me in fact. And I was wondering where I would fit in.
You know those groups you do?
I'm sure you do them all the time, those focus groups?
Would I ever get on one of those?
Would somebody like me ever get selected?
It's possible you might cross over
too many categories.
You bet! Yeah. I don't fit any categories, do I?
One look at me...
"That woman is a little crazy, get her out of here!"
But, you know, I really believe most people are like me.
There are so many
really strange characters out there, weird faces, different.
People never look like what they're meant to look like, don't you think?
Do you get what I mean?
They're larger or tinier, but not the sort of medium-sized,
shrivelled up, blank sort of people that I bet you have in your groups.
They're the weird ones. They're the aliens.
Here you are, madam.
How many people have you ordered for, Stella?
We'll eat it all, don't worry.
Done your best to impress, have you?
Because this man could get you some great PR.
I don't think I've ever been so full, ever! I never eat much.
I feel I've swallowed, I've consumed something extremely large.
A brisk walk will help matters.
And then what happens? What do you mean?
And then what happens? That's what I mean.
Do you want to see where I live?
I have this incredibly important meeting I have to return to with this media tycoon I told you about.
The pre-meeting briefing starts in ten minutes.
In ten minutes?
You're going to be pushed to make it then.
This is true.
So, goodbye then.
I can always skip the pre-briefing.
Don't look like that,
I'm not going to leap on you!
This is what I do after a night's work.
I lie down here,
I look at the ceiling.
Try to think of different things each day.
Things I've
seen, or read about.
Try to surprise myself, so I don't dwell.
I understand.
"I understand."
You don't look very happy about it.
And then I flop down here
usually.
Except not today perhaps.
This is how you spend all your time during the day? Shut in here?
Well, sometimes I have a complete change of scene.
I go and visit a friend who sings in a church choir in Wolverhampton
or Sunderland, places like that.
I can see that would make for a complete change of scene, yes.
Bet you haven't been in a house like this for a long while?
Oh, don't be so sure.
I grew up not so far away from here.
Really? In a house just like this.
That would have taken some guessing.
I grew up round here too, that's why I came back.
That means if you grew up round here, we might have passed each other as children.
My dad kept a chemist shop in Randolph Road,
you might have come in there. Did you ever come in there?
You may have come in to buy some condoms from my dad.
Your first ever condoms.
Um, um, can I have a packet of cough lozenges, please?
Of course, young man.
That's a great thought, but I don't think I ever bought condoms from round here.
My father was a chauffeur.
He was Polish.
This ludicrous name, Gideon Warner, should be Gideon Wojtalavicz.
I like that.
My father sometimes managed
to get me along for the ride.
I shall show you their houses too.
At least from the outside.
Just when they're switching on all their lights.
We will watch these people go in and out and you can dream of what they are going to do.
I remember a great time once.
My father was driving a member of the House of Lords, who was also in the Tory cabinet,
and we went down to the country.
They were all taking part in a
in a fishing competition, would you believe?
All these important grandees.
I sometimes wonder if I dreamt it.
They were all politicians but it was so leisurely.
They were a pretty eccentric bunch, when you got really close.
God, they're strange. I can just imagine.
You see, I'm really a complete and utter fraudster because
I'm not this special guru at all, this piss-elegant world authority.
I was once just a really ordinary, nuts-and-bolts, PR guy handling
some '70s comedians after they fell on hard times in the '80s.
You will remember some of their names probably.
Miller And Dave, remember them?
Of course, I used to wet myself, I used to scream when they came on!
I was just minor showbiz.
If I don't go now, I'll miss the meeting and I can't miss the meeting.
It'll be a disaster. Go then.
You must go, Gideon.
I can't go.
Why is your daughter angry with you?
She is angry with you, isn't she?
Yes.
It's to do with my wife.
Did your wife die? Yes, of cancer.
We'd been estranged for some years.
I'd been unfaithful.
Not horrendously, certainly not hundreds and hundreds.
I should hope not!
No, no, I'll explain about that
some other time. My daughter's song, anyway it was nothing like that.
I had been attentive, visiting.
My wife was very near the end, you know,
nobody was quite certain when she was going to go.
I'm sitting there, sometimes thinking about my girlfriends
but that's not such a betrayal, I don't think. I mean, you know
clutching out for the living.
It's ruthless, but sort of natural, maybe.
It's such a small thing, what happened.
There was this bloke, in a funny old coat or mackintosh,
and he came and sat down in our small room,
as my wife lay dying.
He was a total stranger.
He said a few things about the hospital and the weather.
You'd like to hear them, wouldn't you? If we could pop outside...
He was mildly odd and it was quite difficult to get rid of him, but eventually I did.
And then, for some overpowering reason,
I needed to make some calls to just be out of there.
Mum!
Mum.
Well, well, I can't say... Yeah.
Mum! Mum!
It's all fine... Sure.
Hang on, don't... No, I've got more.
I go back, my wife, Ellen, has gone.
Sad day.
The nurses thought he was family.
And apparently I'd been on the phone for over half an hour.
I let him come back,
I wasn't there.
Natasha has never forgiven me.
She's not punishing you for that.
No, for, for what went
before, I know. But I've lost her, probably for ever.
I doubt that.
I think you'll find I have.
I can't believe I missed this meeting.
And it's a completely impossible situation for me to talk myself out of.
He's here.
OK?
What on earth happened to you, Gideon? Traffic.
Traffic? Yes, traffic. How on earth did you know?
Know what? Why are you whispering?
I think you knew before you left, didn't you?
If you knew he would be two hours late, why didn't you tell us?
It amazes me he hasn't left yet.
He's been here a quarter of an hour already.
Good evening, everyone.
A man who is even later than me.
So, here we all are.
You will tell Mr Badalamenti first about what you have discovered concerning the rules of ownership,
the rules that apply to owning commercial television channels.
How these may change with this new government. And secondly...
We do not do secondly yet.
Firstly, I have one question... FADING OUT.
I repeat, the wind?
How did you know there was no big wind coming,
that it wouldn't blow all your pretty flowers away?
That was easy. That was simple.
I paid God.
I need to make a phone call, in private. No, no, no.
I need a room on my own.
Maybe you could be so kind to find one for me.
Sure.
Downstairs.
You are late for me.
Nobody knows where you are.
Your staff try to lie, but do it very badly.
And when we start to talk, you don't listen.
A worse listener even than me.
It has been many many years since somebody not listen when I speak.
So?
I am here now, aren't I?
You have the same idea as me.
The only person I have met.
Never listen to what the idiots say first,
if it is any good, they will say it again.
I love it. I do love it.
I think you are what I need.
You are what I need.
Dad, what are you doing following me?
I wasn't following you. I was just drifting. Were you?
Come on, get in for a moment. Get in the car?
What do you mean "get in the car?"
Never in the car with strangers, is that what it's like?
I'm meeting some friends, I've got to go
I'll drive you wherever you want.
Please.
I used to do this with my dad,
drive through the city.
Just as everyone was switching on their lights.
You can see into peoples' lives,
stare at their work.
This is a good part of town to do it.
Don't go. Don't go away.
Please.
I'm going to be late.
There's a deadline.
I'll let you know when the deadline has passed.
The power that a child has over one.
Does she keep to the deadline?
You're too young, Becca.
Too young to know what it's like to be on the receiving end.
Does she hurt him?
It's the day of the big meeting with the government,
and the day of the deadline.
It's funny how often things come together on the same day, isn't it?
Where do we find Gideon first thing in the morning?
Wandering with Stella on the outskirts of some godforsaken place.
I can't believe I've done this.
Why? What's your problem?
You need to get out of London once in a while if you're selling the whole country on Millennium night.
Well, this certainly would be a challenge, to sell this.
Has she sent you a message yet?
No, not yet.
She won't let me know till much later.
I bet the deadline goes to the end of the day.
It was bad enough waiting on her exam results.
Do exams ever leave one?
You think you've left it behind when you become a grown up,
but your children's exams are even worse. It's much...
Of all the places, in all the world, Stella, to come to relax, this is wonderfully perverse.
This won't relax you.
I promise you this won't relax you in the slightest degree.
That's got you interested now, hasn't it?
Oh.
That's it? That's the one.
SHE MOUTHS: Hi.
We've got an audience for this rehearsal, for which we are grateful.
Bar 110.
CHOIR SINGS IN CLOSE HARMONY
See you in a minute.
Bye, darling.
Sorry. I didn't think I'd have to leave.
I don't usually have to leave.
Bit bloody pointless getting you here, then getting upset and running out.
It's all right, I could see you were getting upset.
Yeah, and I could see you thinking,
"Blimey, it's a bit like the bloody restaurant she took me to, it's really quite good."
That's exactly what I was thinking.
I always get, you know, a bit moved when I come, naturally.
But I don't have to leave, not usually.
Is it because I'm here? No...
No.
You know grief is
well, is hell obviously, but
we've got to this moment now,
I've got to this moment when people are saying, or at least you can see it in their eyes,
"Surely it's time to move on, just a little bit?"
"Surely it's getting less?"
Well, actually no, it's not getting less.
I'm sorry, but it's not the slightest bit less. Well, of course it isn't.
Bill is right not to let go!
I was just thinking in there.
However crazy it seems, he's absolutely right not to let go.
Everything is over so quick now.
On with the next thing, you know,
get over it,
think positively.
And I do try,
I do really try. I've noticed.
But I come here,
I've no faith, I don't believe, not at all,
never did. But I come here to this out-of-the-way church
because I need to feel how much.
I need to feel...
If only I'd gone with him that first time.
I need to think that over and over, again and again.
I need to ask,
why the hell didn't I do that?
Go with him!
Why? I need to do that over and over.
That's why I come.
Stella, let me.
No, I don't want to be held, not now.
Because I don't want you to feel that this is likely to happen again.
It's got to happen again, why shouldn't it happen again?
Because, don't get angry about this
you like being with me because of the unexpected bits,
because you don't know what's going to happen, isn't that right?
But you don't want to be reminded of the other stuff,
have that always hanging in the air, because you'll feel you can't talk about your daughter.
Because she's with you, she's alive.
Of course I won't think that.
That's not true at all.
We'll see if I'm right.
I don't want to be right.
Hi, darling.
This is a friend of mine, Stella Hawthorne.
Hi.
Hello.
Has the deadline passed?
Yes. I still want to go.
But I know
that if I go I'll never hear the end of it.
And, of course, you won't give me any money.
So at the moment.
I'm thinking I can't go to South America.
If I go to Edinburgh,
I will not be staying in halls of residence.
It's going to be somewhere else.
'And so, the great meeting.'
I think I know what we should do with the Dome.
'He's on a high. He's elated.'
Paradise.
A jungle,
a thick jungle.
'Gideon is so high, he just talks, making it up
'on the spur of the moment, whatever comes into his head.'
And there will be rides, little trains, running through
a landscape so vivid you will be able to touch it, to drink it.
And the smell of the flowers
will be completely intoxicating.
Outside of London, we celebrate the creativity of the community
with incredible singing,
churches on industrial estates lit up by search lights and
their concerts magnified onto the biggest screens that anybody has ever seen.
Extraordinary thing is they have no idea what to put in it.
'Here we have a man who can't listen and yet the more he doesn't listen,
'the more people want him, and believe in him.
'He's the toast of Whitehall, the flavour of all flavours.'
In the Lake District, there is a pencil museum in Cumbria.
They will do better business inside your Dome than you will if you fill it with zones and lists.
'I wanted to be with him too. I loved seeing him.
'I had no inkling anything was amiss.'
DOORBELL RINGS
Frederick! My little one! All alone?
Oh. Ah, your mum.
That's what it's come to, has it?
The nearest she'll come!
I hadn't forgotten, my little one, I promise you.
Just ignore the pyjamas.
Hello, darling! What a lovely boy.
Look.
Come here, let's take this off. Come on, come on, it's all right, take it off.
All right, leave it on.
He was alone in the passage.
Christ almighty, just standing there!
You never stop worrying about them.
I have three, would you believe?
The other two are much older of course.
Beat, beat, beat,
it's always there somewhere in your brain, the worry about them.
And this is what was happening to Gideon.
She didn't talk to him.
Her love had gone.
A worm enters his head telling him he had made a great mistake forcing her to stay,
and that somehow, something bad would happen,
that she would engineer it,
or just simple old fate would do it for her.
She looks gorgeous, doesn't she?
Natasha, you look terrific. Thank you.
I hate fancy-dress parties,
and "come dressed as a '50s character" is really difficult.
And who are you dressed as?
I don't know.
A '50s movie star.
Not Marilyn Monroe. I think she's dressed as my mother.
She was very beautiful, my mum.
Every time I go out at the moment, every meeting, people talk about you, do you realise that?
"I heard Gideon is thinking this."
"I want to talk to Gideon about that."
"I hear Gideon Warner may be interested."
But I look at you.
I look at you, and you're somewhere completely different.
Certainly from me.
I know you think I never notice anything,
that I miss everything that's interesting,
but I have noticed that.
Maybe we should have a pause.
A pause in seeing each other, Gideon?
If you think so.
If I think so! That's all?
She goes to university on Saturday.
It's a big moment.
For so many years, she's been just down the corridor from me.
Natasha, I've got something here for you.
I know you always said you'd be the last person in England to have one, but I bought you a mobile phone.
♪ I don't need to know which number
♪ I won't stop you touch her hair
♪ I don't need to see you waving
♪ When you slip away at night
♪ I don't have to know what happens
♪ As you crawl back when it's light
♪ I don't need to catch you with them
♪ Your voice so full of joy
♪ As you murmur your little nothings
♪ My own papa so very coy Mon Cher... ♪
You look wonderful. Absolutely sensational.
Good.
I should find a movie premiere to go to,
the celebrities would be clamouring to meet you.
I don't want to go to any of those ever again.
Why are you looking at that song?
Because I can't get it out of my head.
I told you...
It's... It's just a song, Dad.
I love you so much.
'She looked so beautiful,
'it was like a last picture of her.'
When they go to university,
it's like a death,
a little death.
There! Not bad, eh?
Very impressive.
An instant heaven.
Very few people get to see that.
In fact, no-one, I don't think.
I'm honoured. Absolutely.
Talking of which, I got a call from the prime minister yesterday.
The Number Ten switchboard calls,
HE MIMICS RECEPTIONIST'S VOICE "I'm putting you through now."
And then absolutely nothing happens.
And then this voice, "The prime minister will talk to you in ten minutes."
And then again, "I'm putting you through now."
And then there he is.
"I hear you're doing wonderful things for the Millennium. You must come and talk to me personally."
Great!
"I'm putting you through now."
And she can find anyone anywhere in the world, that receptionist.
Even your daughter.
You can talk about her, you know.
About wondering what she's up to,
about when you'll hear from her.
Leave her.
Don't try to reach her, it's fine.
What an amazing, boring bunch.
I told you so.
This is my favourite place of the moment.
ON TV: 'Police have launched a double murder enquiry after the bodies of two women were found in the city.
'They are warning women to be on their guard.'
You OK? 'Police confirmed the first body was found near the river...'
HE SWITCHES TV CHANNEL
Andrew can't work out if I've lost the plot or not.
Does it matter in your business?
How would anybody tell the difference?
You're thinking, despite all the work we're getting, you're wondering, has he lost it?
Well, I think either you've entered a stratosphere so high-powered that I can't follow you there, or...
Or? Or something else is going on. Such as what?
Ah! I'm working that out.
And when you've worked it out, what will you do about it?
If I discovered that I was working for somebody who started being uneasy about exercising power
it's all a bit too political and mundane, so let's tiptoe away quietly.
Or if I thought I was working for somebody who deliberately hired
a bright, young guy, someone who reminded him a little bit
of his younger self, and he thought, "Let's play with this young guy for a while, give him his head."
And then, "Whoops, he's getting a bit scary now, a bit too focused",
"so let's distance ourselves from all that fast."
If that were the case, you'd be off, you'd be gone as quick as you could to a competitor.
If I were working for somebody like that,
I wouldn't leave.
I would stay right there in his face, working out why he was trying so hard to throw it all away.
I would be there in the morning when he woke up, I would be there at night when his head hit the pillow.
And I would be there at the end of the bed when he'd finished shagging.
That's what I would do.
Dingle, dingle, dingle, there I would be.
Not while I'm around, you won't.
Good food, is that?
It's great.
I think it's time to show you the best food in London, Andrew,
and a lot of other people too.
'And so we all find ourselves being invited to this eatery, right on the edge of London, in Southall.'
Hello, I'm Stella.
I'm co-hosting the evening.
This is Mr Singh, he owns the restaurant. Hanif, my boss.
Is there anybody here who might be able to tell us what the bloody hell we're doing here?
Tell me, what's so special about this place?
Should I have heard of it?
I'm hoping my daughter might make it, I'm hoping.
I really am looking forward to tonight, you know.
Mr Badalamenti, you won't know me but I'm a friend of Gideon's.
Charming, of course, to meet a friend of Gideon's.
So what are you going to buy from us?
All our newspapers, some of our TV stations? Are you going to give us housewives stripping?
Naked newsreaders?
I hope so, why not?
Maybe even politicians stripping.
Who knows!
If they get their own TV show, they will pass all the right legislation.
I don't know why a lot of these people are here.
Hello, Mr Dent. Don't worry, your hair is safe,
for tonight at least. Well, that's something I'm most reassured to hear.
We turned up for the demonstration, didn't we? We did.
And what do you think?
What did you conclude when it happened?
I saw somebody who was in pain.
In grief. Well, that's certainly true.
What did you think I accomplished?
Well, you let a lot of rage out on some elected officials.
Officials who are either too busy or too overstretched to use their common sense.
Why didn't you say anything like that to us before?
You think a Member of Parliament can admit he's hated by the local council?
It doesn't mean I don't understand how important it was that we all got together.
You want me to think better of you?
Then I will, when you start to think that all members of
the public who go on and on and on and won't let go of something,
are not damaged people.
I'm reduced by my son's death, of course.
I'm slower,
I'm clumsier,
I don't tell many jokes now,
but I am not out of my mind.
Quite the opposite. And I got the cycle lane re-routed.
I did that.
Hello, Gideon.
How are you? Good, thank you.
Where is Mr Gideon?
I just need to find Gideon. He gave me some advice.
Just want to check it with him one more time.
'And then I find him, squashed into a corner as if retreating from the world.'
Gideon, you all right? William, yes.
What are you doing here? Just staying out of trouble.
'He tells me about his daughter, about the song, about Stella.'
child died.
She's outside. Stella.
ON TV:'A woman has been attacked in Edinburgh, five days after a double murder in the city.'
'And about how removed he feels from the rest of the world.
'He hasn't heard from Natasha, can't get her on the phone.
'Yet all the time he's talking to me, he's looking over my shoulder.'
'..is linked to Tuesday's murders. We now cross live to Edinburgh.'
'And before I could say anything, he was gone.
'And there was a strange sensation in that restaurant, like a shadow had descended.
'Where was the man,
'the man they needed?
'And as I stand there looking at the crowd, I notice people from Gideon's past.
'The old comedians like Miller And Dave.
'It's like he's got all these people together, in this weird place,
'just to say, "Grow up, you don't need me,
' "to hell with celebrity!"'
Are you Stella? Yes. I know who you are.
And I know where he's gone.
He's gone to find her.
Here's a man willing his daughter to be safe.
It's as if by thinking about her strongly enough,
and staring across the city,
he can keep her out of harm's way.
As I keep trying to get Gideon after the party, I'm thinking
those wretched murders in Scotland are not relevant, not the point.
I'm thinking about signs,
and about Natasha's song.
And I start to run through the images in my mind of that summer.
♪ To know there will never be another letter
♪ You've got to hear this one small thing
♪ I need you to remember that I never was your shame... ♪
Her song was about obsessive love.
It's the girl who killed herself.
But flip Natasha's song, turn it round, and it's about her dad.
It's about Gideon.
His love is too strong.
And then the thought enters my head,
he's not just gone to Edinburgh in case harm has befallen her, but rather to say goodbye.
Hello, I wonder, have you seen Natasha?
No, I haven't seen Natasha.
When was she last here?
Sorry. I don't know where she is.
There's one thing links father and daughter.
Gideon's looked after all those comics, and Natasha has a great love for stand-up.
He was bollock naked on all fours!
Listen, don't forget when you get to the tunnel, there's a troll.
AUDIENCE LAUGH
So I'm panicking a bit because I've never dealt with a troll before.
AUDIENCE LAUGH
COMEDIAN CONTINUES FAINTLY
AUDIENCE LAUGH
You all right there, mate? Do you want to come and join us?
It's all right, the last seven minutes of my act is the best so you've done well really.
Let's get a spot on him. Let's have a little spot on this guy.
Come on, there we go, there we go. AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS.
Ladies and gentleman, "The Penguin"! AUDIENCE LAUGHS.
COMEDIAN IMITATES A PENGUIN
There he is. Anyway, he's buggered up the troll joke so we'll carry on with something else.
Anyone a big fan of helium?
It's brilliant, it's great.
Oh, you're on the move again, fella?
James Bond's let himself go, hasn't he?
I'd call that shaken and not stirred. AUDIENCE LAUGHS.
All right, that's what I thought you should do, probably walk here. Brilliant(!)
It's just a stage you're going through.
You'll get over it, you'll be fine. Good stuff.
Jellybean? Would you like one of these?
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND CHEERS
Who comes to a comedy club and gets on the stage themselves, you know?
It's like going to a brothel and sucking your own cock!
Listen, I hope we bump into each other again, my friend.
APPLAUSE
Hopefully, when I'm in a car and you're walking!
Dad.
Dad!
(Dad.)
My phone was broken.
I should have let you know.
I'm here now.
I didn't want you in my thoughts,
anywhere near me, really.
I didn't want to hear your voice,
or get your letters.
But now, I think that that's over.
Wherever you are,
wherever I am,
I won't let that happen again.
He couldn't move.
Maybe that's why she could talk to him because he couldn't move, because he was defenceless.
We never know what's going on in our children's heads.
Do they ever really forgive us?
Come on!
Why can't you move, Dad?
Come on.
GLASS TINKLES
You wake,
and it's not Andrew at the end of the bed,
it's me.
Thank God for that.
How are you?
I don't think I know
what happened,
I've no idea.
Everything just stopped.
I'm glad to see you though, that's for sure.
And that's a start.
You know what?
I think we should have a hefty slice of toast and marmalade,
particularly chunky marmalade.
And then I think it's time for us to venture a little further then Wolverhampton or Sunderland.
You and me together.
That's a great idea.
Maybe we should start with a walk?
Got to get you moving again.
You were frozen in that comedy club.
What a place to seize up!
What happens?
What happens, Gideon, if we go somewhere else in the world and just see where it leads?
Get you away from your work,
get me away from where my little boy died,
let Natasha go wherever she wants to because she will keep in touch,
because she will have a satellite tag on, won't she?
Just see what happens?
Yes!
Let someone else sell the Millennium.
And I'll let someone else clear out the guinea pig shit?
How about it?
How about it, Gideon?
And then, they vanish.
One call for me from Gideon before they left and then they vanish,
and they've stayed vanished all these years.
Nobody knows what happened to them.
I thought I caught a glimpse of Natasha once, not so long ago.
It was her.
She looked very radiant.
Her beauty was so strong, you felt Gideon would have been able to feel
it wherever he was in the world, and however far she travelled.
And Stella and Gideon? Have they found happiness?
Who knows?
I tell you one thing though, I bet they're still together.
Is he driven mad worrying about Natasha in this dangerous world?
I don't know.
The funny thing is,
what a huge hole he left, on Millennium night
the plastic Dome,
that ghastly beacon with the Queen.
The most important night for a thousand years, how on earth did we let that happen?
I'll tell you one thing though,
on the outskirts of that town on Millennium night, when the clock struck twelve!
Oh, I wish I could have been there.
That was a sight to see.
CHOIR SINGS IN CLOSE HARMONY
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd, 2006