1
00:00:28,369 --> 00:00:30,128
Jen, have a listen to this?
2
00:00:30,129 --> 00:00:32,029
Moss, have you
seen the newsletter?
3
00:00:32,030 --> 00:00:34,008
Does this sound mysterious?
4
00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:41,410
Yeah, yeah, it's quite mysterious.
5
00:00:41,411 --> 00:00:44,050
I was hoping for ruddy mysterious.
6
00:00:44,051 --> 00:00:46,210
It's fairly mysterious.
7
00:00:46,211 --> 00:00:50,210
Compiling a playlist for a
role-playing game I'm hosting.
8
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,171
Important to get the right atmos.
9
00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:54,170
I don't know what
you're talking about.
10
00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:56,211
Kind of a Dungeons
and Dragons thing.
11
00:00:56,212 --> 00:00:58,171
Ew, is this something
to do with sex?
12
00:00:58,172 --> 00:00:59,691
Ha! Far from it, Jen.
13
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,892
No, you see, in role-playing,
one person is a dungeon master,
14
00:01:02,893 --> 00:01:04,292
or game master, or keeper.
15
00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:05,732
He or she controls the world
16
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,372
and tells the players
what they're experiencing,
17
00:01:08,373 --> 00:01:10,132
whether battling a coal monster,
18
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:13,452
or kicking back in a smelly old
tavern with some roguish elves.
19
00:01:13,453 --> 00:01:14,612
Played over a few hours,
20
00:01:14,613 --> 00:01:17,652
it uses dice rolls to determine
the outcome of events.
21
00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:20,293
Unlike most board games
you might be familiar with,
22
00:01:20,294 --> 00:01:22,613
role-playing games often
use a 20-sided dice.
23
00:01:22,614 --> 00:01:23,494
- Moss?
- Yeah.
24
00:01:23,495 --> 00:01:24,534
I want to stop listening to this.
25
00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:27,053
I completely understand.
26
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:30,854
So, in the world
we actually live in,
27
00:01:30,855 --> 00:01:34,774
a post has opened up
for Entertainments Manager.
28
00:01:34,775 --> 00:01:38,775
I could do that. That sounds great.
Better than whatever this job is.
29
00:01:38,936 --> 00:01:41,455
Entertainments Manager.
30
00:01:41,456 --> 00:01:44,055
It's not for you, Jen.
31
00:01:44,056 --> 00:01:46,135
What? Organising cultural events
32
00:01:46,136 --> 00:01:48,896
and visiting business partners,
that is so me.
33
00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:52,776
It's not though.
It'sreallynot for you.
34
00:01:52,777 --> 00:01:54,537
Oh, what am I talking to you for?
Where's Roy?
35
00:01:54,538 --> 00:01:55,657
Not in yet.
36
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:58,176
Is he still moping about
after that girl?
37
00:01:58,177 --> 00:02:01,177
Worse than ever.
Thank God he can't play guitar.
38
00:02:01,178 --> 00:02:02,617
Have you seen the pictures?
39
00:02:02,618 --> 00:02:04,777
Pictures? There's more than one?
40
00:02:04,778 --> 00:02:06,137
Yeah, there's a buttload.
41
00:02:06,138 --> 00:02:09,097
And she's Photoshopped
out of all of them.
42
00:02:09,098 --> 00:02:13,098
Yeah, it's like someone
broke up with Stalin.
43
00:02:18,499 --> 00:02:21,138
It's such a shame.
44
00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:25,139
I've never seen him happier
than the last few months. And now...
45
00:02:25,581 --> 00:02:26,539
Oh, hi, Roy!
46
00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:28,099
Hi, Roy.
47
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,220
It's okay, you're obviously
talking about me.
48
00:02:30,221 --> 00:02:31,060
No, no...
49
00:02:31,061 --> 00:02:32,740
It's fine.
50
00:02:32,741 --> 00:02:35,700
I realise I haven't been the
easiest person to be around
51
00:02:35,701 --> 00:02:36,780
the last few weeks.
52
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:40,100
But I really feel like I've
turned the corner now. I really do.
53
00:02:40,101 --> 00:02:42,621
So if we can all just
carry on as normal...
54
00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:45,501
My God, oh, my God!
55
00:02:45,502 --> 00:02:47,861
I feel like I've come out
the other side of it now.
56
00:02:47,862 --> 00:02:51,021
So, everything's going to be OK
from here on in...
57
00:02:51,022 --> 00:02:52,942
My heart hurts!
58
00:02:52,943 --> 00:02:56,902
You do seem better than yesterday.
59
00:02:56,903 --> 00:02:59,843
But Roy, you've got
to snap out of this.
60
00:02:59,844 --> 00:03:00,683
I know, I know.
61
00:03:00,684 --> 00:03:03,062
Some things just don't work out.
62
00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:06,183
I know you're not used to being
in a long-term relationship.
63
00:03:06,184 --> 00:03:08,824
It's really rare for me.
64
00:03:08,825 --> 00:03:10,903
It'ssorare.
65
00:03:10,904 --> 00:03:14,424
But take it from me,
most of them just don't work out.
66
00:03:14,425 --> 00:03:16,464
She's right, Roy.
67
00:03:16,465 --> 00:03:18,225
And how would you know?
68
00:03:18,226 --> 00:03:20,184
I do all right.
69
00:03:20,185 --> 00:03:21,505
When?
70
00:03:21,506 --> 00:03:24,545
Well, if you must know,
I met a girl on holiday.
71
00:03:24,546 --> 00:03:27,065
They're always on holiday,
aren't they, Moss?
72
00:03:27,066 --> 00:03:30,786
Oh, shut up, Dumpo,
the elephant who got dumped!
73
00:03:30,787 --> 00:03:31,705
Hey, hey!
74
00:03:31,706 --> 00:03:32,505
Well...
75
00:03:32,506 --> 00:03:35,546
No, it's okay. I'm all right.
76
00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:37,026
I mean, I'm still a bit...
77
00:03:37,027 --> 00:03:39,306
She never said goodbye,
so I just kind of...
78
00:03:39,307 --> 00:03:43,307
It still just hurts just a little
bit whenever I think about her.
79
00:03:43,308 --> 00:03:47,307
So. I guess all I have to do is just
never think about her. Simples!
80
00:03:49,308 --> 00:03:53,307
Oh, she used to love that ad.
81
00:03:58,389 --> 00:04:00,988
It's not for you, Jen.
82
00:04:00,989 --> 00:04:02,828
What, why not?
83
00:04:02,829 --> 00:04:05,749
Entertainments Manager?
Do you know what that involves?
84
00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:08,429
From what I can gather
it's organising cultural events
85
00:04:08,430 --> 00:04:10,069
for out-of-town business partners.
86
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:11,829
That's right. Yes, yes.
87
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,669
It's not for you.
88
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:17,110
It won't interfere with my duties
in the IT department.
89
00:04:17,111 --> 00:04:21,110
And I love culture. I've seen
We Will Rock You four times.
90
00:04:22,911 --> 00:04:24,951
Eurgh...
91
00:04:24,952 --> 00:04:26,591
Well, Jen, I'd love to help you,
92
00:04:26,592 --> 00:04:29,471
but traditionally the role
of Entertainments Manager
93
00:04:29,472 --> 00:04:30,991
has always been held by a man.
94
00:04:30,992 --> 00:04:33,871
Mr. Reynholm,
I don't need to remind you
95
00:04:33,872 --> 00:04:36,471
of the report
that denounced Reynholm Industries
96
00:04:36,472 --> 00:04:38,832
as an institutionally sexist
organisation.
97
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:42,832
Now, you hold on a minute,
sugar tits!
98
00:04:43,954 --> 00:04:46,433
Everyone saw through that report.
99
00:04:46,434 --> 00:04:48,672
I even got that award
off those feminists.
100
00:04:48,673 --> 00:04:52,673
The one shaped like
the ice-cream fellow.
101
00:04:53,235 --> 00:04:57,234
That's a Shithead Of The Year award.
102
00:04:59,514 --> 00:05:02,794
It actually says it on the base,
"Shithead Of The Year."
103
00:05:02,795 --> 00:05:06,795
Did you not read the base?
104
00:05:26,037 --> 00:05:27,077
Oh, God!
105
00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:30,877
Women, eh?
106
00:05:30,878 --> 00:05:32,757
What are they? Who knows?
107
00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:33,917
Don't do this.
108
00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:37,918
Can't live with them,
can't find them...sometimes.
109
00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:41,517
What's going on
in their little heads?
110
00:05:41,518 --> 00:05:45,518
Don't ask me, I'm not a flippin'
women psychiatrist.
111
00:05:46,359 --> 00:05:50,858
But I have learned one or two things
from conversations with my mother.
112
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,559
No, no, Moss, please,
113
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,199
don't go any further,
just stop right there.
114
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,960
You're no good at this kind of thing,
Moss, you'll just make it worse.
115
00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:02,520
Sorry, it's just
I've never seen you like this.
116
00:06:02,521 --> 00:06:04,160
I know. But I'll be fine.
117
00:06:04,161 --> 00:06:06,680
I will. It's just...
You can't help with this.
118
00:06:06,681 --> 00:06:07,841
You just can't.
119
00:06:07,842 --> 00:06:10,281
I've got it. I've got the job.
120
00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:11,000
What?
121
00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:14,561
Douglas gave me the job
so I'd stop talking.
122
00:06:14,562 --> 00:06:18,562
Jen's Entertainments Manager.
123
00:06:20,722 --> 00:06:23,402
It's not for you, Jen.
124
00:06:23,403 --> 00:06:25,122
Why does everyone keep saying that?
125
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:26,042
What happened to Gerry?
126
00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:27,322
Massive heart attack.
127
00:06:27,323 --> 00:06:28,602
I'm not surprised.
128
00:06:28,603 --> 00:06:30,843
Why are you not surprised?
Why is it not for me?
129
00:06:30,844 --> 00:06:34,643
Gerry was the... He was the
company Fredo. You're the new Fredo.
130
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,083
I don't know what
you're talking about.
131
00:06:36,084 --> 00:06:37,963
Fredo, from the Godfather.
132
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,643
Who's Fredo again? Who's he in it?
133
00:06:39,644 --> 00:06:43,484
He's the brother, whose job it is to
take out-of-town businessmen and...
134
00:06:43,485 --> 00:06:46,524
Show them a good time, yeah,
that's what I have to do.
135
00:06:46,525 --> 00:06:48,245
I was thinking West End show...
136
00:06:48,246 --> 00:06:50,524
No, no, Jen, I don't
think you understand.
137
00:06:50,525 --> 00:06:54,524
These men are going to expect
a lot more than a West End show.
138
00:06:55,726 --> 00:06:58,485
Fredo, Jen, he was,
139
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,206
he was sort of a pimp.
140
00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:01,205
Oh, shut up.
141
00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:02,365
Wasn't he, Moss?
142
00:07:02,366 --> 00:07:03,526
What?
143
00:07:03,527 --> 00:07:05,926
Fredo, in the film,
he was essentially a pimp.
144
00:07:05,927 --> 00:07:09,927
No, he took the ring to Mordor.
145
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,567
Fredowasa pimp.
146
00:07:17,568 --> 00:07:20,247
No, no, that film was the '70s.
147
00:07:20,248 --> 00:07:21,968
Things are different now.
148
00:07:21,969 --> 00:07:24,207
Businessmen are different.
149
00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:31,888
Anyway, enough about our balls.
150
00:07:32,489 --> 00:07:36,488
Gentleman, I'd like you to meet Jen.
151
00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:44,890
No, no, no, Jen's
our new Entertainments Manager.
152
00:07:44,891 --> 00:07:47,449
But she's a woman, isn't she?
153
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:51,450
Jen, I'd like you to meet
an old friend of mine, Phil.
154
00:07:54,852 --> 00:07:56,371
What are you up to, Reynholm?
155
00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:57,651
Don't you worry, Phil.
156
00:07:57,652 --> 00:08:00,691
Jen may look like an old maid
holding pennies in her arse,
157
00:08:00,692 --> 00:08:03,051
but she knows the sleaziest routes
158
00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:05,772
round this old town
I like to call Londinius.
159
00:08:05,773 --> 00:08:09,772
And I'm sure she's planned something
suitably raucous for you reprobates.
160
00:08:10,453 --> 00:08:14,452
Oh, yes, yes, I have tickets for
a wonderful show in the West End.
161
00:08:14,734 --> 00:08:16,493
As long as it
doesn't have subtitles.
162
00:08:16,494 --> 00:08:17,413
Subtitles, no.
163
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,333
Woah, what's got subtitles?!
164
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:20,613
This thing she's bringing us to.
165
00:08:20,614 --> 00:08:21,773
Subtitles? Oh, God!
166
00:08:21,774 --> 00:08:24,733
I can't read while I'm also
trying to see things.
167
00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:28,654
No, no, it's a show, it's a show.
There's no subtitles.
168
00:08:28,655 --> 00:08:30,294
I hate subtitles.
169
00:08:30,295 --> 00:08:31,574
What happened to Gerry?
170
00:08:31,575 --> 00:08:32,974
His heart exploded.
171
00:08:34,135 --> 00:08:35,614
Brilliant!
172
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,134
No, he's quite seriously ill.
173
00:08:37,135 --> 00:08:38,575
That's classic Gerry.
174
00:08:41,136 --> 00:08:44,696
Gerry wouldn't have brought us
to something with subtitles.
175
00:08:44,697 --> 00:08:46,815
There's no subtitles, it's a show.
176
00:08:46,816 --> 00:08:49,615
Come on, Jen, what type of show?
177
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:53,256
Well, yes, well it's very raunchy.
178
00:08:53,257 --> 00:08:55,537
Yes, I don't think
you'll be disappointed.
179
00:08:55,538 --> 00:08:56,416
Women in it?
180
00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:58,737
Women in it?
Yes, it's an all-woman show.
181
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,137
It's very rude.
182
00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:01,617
An all-woman show?
183
00:09:01,618 --> 00:09:02,737
And it's rude.
184
00:09:02,738 --> 00:09:06,737
Eiffel Tower!
185
00:09:09,898 --> 00:09:12,498
I'm so sorry, I really
can't apologise enough.
186
00:09:12,499 --> 00:09:14,738
I've never been so
embarrassed in my life.
187
00:09:14,739 --> 00:09:18,739
That woman was in EastEnders,
how dare you humiliate her?!
188
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:23,859
It's not our fault you took us
to The Vagina Monologues.
189
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:26,420
You get there,
and it's justwomentalking.
190
00:09:26,421 --> 00:09:28,020
False advertising.
191
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:30,059
Look, we're in town
for five more days,
192
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:32,460
you better have
something proper for us to do.
193
00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:35,620
Next time you take us to something
about talking fannies,
194
00:09:35,621 --> 00:09:39,620
it better be about talking fannies.
195
00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:47,141
I know you had good reasons
for giving me this award.
196
00:09:47,142 --> 00:09:49,141
I should never have done
that interview.
197
00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:50,942
But that journalist had an agenda.
198
00:09:50,943 --> 00:09:53,582
There's more.
"Women are a kind of savage animal,
199
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:57,062
"who men have civilised
with their insatiable sexuality."
200
00:09:57,063 --> 00:10:01,062
What don't you like about that?
201
00:10:01,464 --> 00:10:05,463
"Women are essentially no different
from radiators."
202
00:10:06,424 --> 00:10:09,784
"I like my women
like I like my toast, hot..."
203
00:10:09,785 --> 00:10:13,784
And consumable with butter.
204
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,384
You don't have to remind me.
205
00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:18,025
I'm all too familiar
with my misguided words.
206
00:10:18,026 --> 00:10:22,025
Ladies, listen,
no-one can mistake me for Gok Wan.
207
00:10:23,226 --> 00:10:27,226
I've an old-fashioned mindset,
but damn it, at least I try.
208
00:10:27,307 --> 00:10:30,545
And Reynholm Industries is changing,
ladies, for the better.
209
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:33,506
The glass ceiling
is now a glass floor.
210
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:35,546
The women are floating above it,
211
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:39,547
and the men are just looking up
at them.
212
00:10:40,227 --> 00:10:44,227
So, what do you want from us?
213
00:10:46,508 --> 00:10:50,388
Oh, please take that award back
and give it to somebody else.
214
00:10:50,389 --> 00:10:53,468
Mr. Reynholm, I really need
to talk to you about something.
215
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:56,228
Ah, Jen, I'd like you to meet
some very special woman.
216
00:10:56,229 --> 00:10:58,948
Oh, no, no, no!
217
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,268
What?
218
00:11:00,269 --> 00:11:02,829
Mr. Reynholm, I will not
work with prostitutes.
219
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:06,308
No, no, no, these are feminists.
220
00:11:06,309 --> 00:11:08,029
Dress it up however you like,
221
00:11:08,030 --> 00:11:09,949
they still sleep with men for money.
222
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:15,350
But I don't charge
for these potatoes.
223
00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:19,270
And I don't like women who do.
224
00:11:19,271 --> 00:11:23,271
Don't listen to her!
The bitch is crazy.
225
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,431
Douglas wants me
to see out the week.
226
00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:34,391
A whole week in the
company of those idiots.
227
00:11:34,392 --> 00:11:36,592
Culture's out, restaurants are out.
228
00:11:36,593 --> 00:11:40,592
Oh, God, this is a nightmare.
229
00:11:45,193 --> 00:11:46,952
Men, eh,
230
00:11:46,953 --> 00:11:50,953
what are they like? With their
bawdy talk and rough-housing,
231
00:11:51,195 --> 00:11:55,194
and their wandering hands,
and breath in the morning.
232
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,634
I'd like to see them
have the babies.
233
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,034
What are you getting at, Moss?
234
00:12:01,035 --> 00:12:03,074
Well, unless I'm very much mistaken,
235
00:12:03,075 --> 00:12:07,074
this seems to be a problem for
which you need the male perspective.
236
00:12:14,636 --> 00:12:17,556
Do you know any men?
237
00:12:17,557 --> 00:12:20,556
You want a good time, right?
One that walks on the wild side
238
00:12:20,557 --> 00:12:22,716
without compromising
your principles?
239
00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:24,676
Yeah, that's exactly what I want.
240
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:27,036
Then you got it, baby!
241
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:31,037
Which is why the game needs
a 20-sided dice.
242
00:12:31,593 --> 00:12:42,890
Resync by
@ajoull
.com
243
00:12:43,408 --> 00:12:46,049
I've not understood a
word you've just said.
244
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:48,691
What is it?
Some sort of computer game?
245
00:12:48,692 --> 00:12:52,692
In a sense, except it uses the
most powerful processor known to man.
246
00:12:52,774 --> 00:12:56,094
The human mind.
247
00:12:56,095 --> 00:12:57,416
But you're not playing.
248
00:12:57,417 --> 00:13:00,257
I'm not a player.
But I am playing.
249
00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:05,500
He sort of
tells us what's happening.
250
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:07,221
I will be your guide.
251
00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:10,703
Through my words, you will
experience the land of Elfenheart.
252
00:13:10,704 --> 00:13:14,305
From the mighty mountains that
border the Goblin Wastelands.
253
00:13:14,306 --> 00:13:18,308
To the sewers that run like a spider
web through the city of Jandor.
254
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,070
I, gentlemen, will be your eyes.
255
00:13:29,437 --> 00:13:33,438
I will be everyone you meet,
every creature you encounter,
256
00:13:33,959 --> 00:13:37,039
every trap you spring.
257
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:41,043
What about him? What's this business
with the face like a slapped arse?
258
00:13:42,204 --> 00:13:46,126
I'm sorry, I just came out of
a long term relationship, so...
259
00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:49,048
It doesn't...
She was the greatest woman
260
00:13:49,049 --> 00:13:51,369
I've ever met and I'm never
going to see her again.
261
00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:54,171
But it's fine, I mean,
she never said goodbye.
262
00:13:54,172 --> 00:13:55,932
I'm not going
to bore you with it.
263
00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:58,094
See that you bloody don't!
264
00:13:58,095 --> 00:14:00,335
I still don't understand
what this game is!
265
00:14:00,336 --> 00:14:02,056
It seems gay.
266
00:14:02,057 --> 00:14:05,257
Are dragons gay, Phil?
267
00:14:05,258 --> 00:14:07,059
Mighty warrior priests wielding
268
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:11,061
golden staffs.
I suppose they're gay too?
269
00:14:11,463 --> 00:14:13,143
Here are your character sheets.
270
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,705
John One, you're a unicorn man.
271
00:14:15,706 --> 00:14:19,707
John Two, you're a wood fairy.
272
00:14:19,908 --> 00:14:23,910
And Phil, you're the Gypsy
assassin, Esmerelda.
273
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:26,192
I'm a woman?
274
00:14:30,515 --> 00:14:32,035
I don't think I want to be a woman.
275
00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:33,196
Just go with it.
276
00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:35,157
It will end.
277
00:14:35,158 --> 00:14:39,039
So, gentlemen, are you prepared
to open the doors to your mind
278
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,761
and travel to worlds
hitherto undreamed of?
279
00:14:49,045 --> 00:14:53,047
Look at those fun bags.
280
00:14:53,369 --> 00:14:55,130
Everybody doing okay, yeah?
281
00:14:55,131 --> 00:14:57,450
You good for drinks?
282
00:14:57,451 --> 00:15:00,052
Loosen up.
It's a role-playing party.
283
00:15:00,053 --> 00:15:02,653
Jen, can I have a word?
284
00:15:02,654 --> 00:15:05,936
I don't think I want
to hang with these guys.
285
00:15:05,937 --> 00:15:07,897
Oh, come on, Phil!
286
00:15:07,898 --> 00:15:10,418
These guys are the best.
287
00:15:10,419 --> 00:15:14,141
They're going to do things
tonight that'll blow your mind.
288
00:15:14,142 --> 00:15:14,902
Really?
289
00:15:14,903 --> 00:15:17,302
Really? Look at them.
They're young, they're keen.
290
00:15:17,303 --> 00:15:19,664
And all they want to do
is show you a good time.
291
00:15:19,665 --> 00:15:23,627
So get back there before
you hurt their feelings.
292
00:15:23,628 --> 00:15:27,630
Could I steal the lovely Roy
for a sec?
293
00:15:32,754 --> 00:15:35,955
It's just him in all of these.
294
00:15:35,956 --> 00:15:38,956
Oh, thanks, Jen, that was
all getting a little bit...
295
00:15:38,957 --> 00:15:41,078
What do you think you're doing?
296
00:15:41,079 --> 00:15:41,838
What?
297
00:15:41,839 --> 00:15:44,320
What? Bringing everyone
down with your private life.
298
00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:47,002
They don't want to know about
your miserable private life.
299
00:15:47,003 --> 00:15:49,484
They're here for a good time.
Look at that face.
300
00:15:49,485 --> 00:15:52,805
Who'd want to
role-play with that face?
301
00:15:52,806 --> 00:15:56,207
I'm sorry Jen... I just...
I'm not feeling it tonight.
302
00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:59,690
Then fake it, sweetheart, yeah?
303
00:15:59,691 --> 00:16:03,693
We're getting good money for this.
304
00:16:04,694 --> 00:16:07,454
Don't you want to get
the deposit for a flat,
305
00:16:07,455 --> 00:16:09,496
leave those bad memories behind?
306
00:16:09,497 --> 00:16:10,336
Yeah.
307
00:16:11,617 --> 00:16:13,499
I'll try harder, Jen.
308
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,260
Okay.
309
00:16:15,261 --> 00:16:17,861
Good girl.
310
00:16:17,862 --> 00:16:21,864
Get back there and show
those Johns a good time.
311
00:16:25,627 --> 00:16:27,707
Well, that cleaned the pipes.
312
00:16:27,708 --> 00:16:31,309
I've got to thank you, Miranda,
for giving me a second chance.
313
00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:34,591
Oh, don't mention it. Although you
do know I don't have the authority
314
00:16:34,592 --> 00:16:36,473
to take back the award myself?
315
00:16:36,474 --> 00:16:39,395
Oh, what?
316
00:16:39,396 --> 00:16:43,397
No, we all make mistakes.
And you intrigue me.
317
00:16:43,678 --> 00:16:46,518
Something tells me there's
more to you than meets the eye.
318
00:16:46,519 --> 00:16:50,522
Do you mean the rumours
that I killed my wife?
319
00:16:53,524 --> 00:16:55,324
No. Are there rumours?
320
00:16:55,325 --> 00:16:56,365
No.
321
00:16:56,366 --> 00:17:00,367
There were rumours that there was a
rumour, but that was just bullshit.
322
00:17:01,529 --> 00:17:04,931
I didn't like the way the nominations
came from inside your company.
323
00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:06,811
Inside my company?
324
00:17:06,812 --> 00:17:09,293
Yeah, one of the women from the IT
department faxed a dossier
325
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,214
of your behaviour over
the last 12 months.
326
00:17:11,215 --> 00:17:15,216
One of the women in
the IT department?
327
00:17:16,139 --> 00:17:18,139
Oh, sorry, Phil.
328
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:21,701
Heal All is probably the worst spell
you could have used. The sound of
329
00:17:21,702 --> 00:17:24,503
your low-level magic attracts the
attention of the palace guards.
330
00:17:24,504 --> 00:17:26,664
Damn it!
331
00:17:26,665 --> 00:17:28,145
One comes through the door.
332
00:17:28,146 --> 00:17:29,306
Throwing knife.
333
00:17:29,307 --> 00:17:30,707
Are you sure? Quite a low damage.
334
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:33,309
I have a plus 40%
chance of a critical.
335
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:36,350
Remember the talking bunny that
gave me that magic bracelet?
336
00:17:36,351 --> 00:17:40,353
Yeah, that bunny thing
gave him that thing.
337
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:44,596
You're absolutely right. Roll 'em.
338
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:47,757
Yes!
339
00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:50,159
Direct hit.
The knife cleaves his head in twain
340
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,602
and some of his brains runneth
down John Two's invisibility cloak.
341
00:17:53,603 --> 00:17:57,484
Eiffel Tower!
342
00:17:57,485 --> 00:17:59,845
Unfortunately, he wasn't alone.
343
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,045
Dammit!
344
00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:04,768
'Tis the dreaded Imperial
Guard, the cruellest of all
345
00:18:04,769 --> 00:18:07,530
of Queen Elisa's troops.
At their head...
346
00:18:07,531 --> 00:18:11,532
someone you recognise.
347
00:18:12,253 --> 00:18:14,694
Well, well, well.
348
00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:18,216
If it isn't the adventurers who
have been causing me all this bother.
349
00:18:18,217 --> 00:18:20,017
Lucius Santana!
350
00:18:20,018 --> 00:18:22,419
The very same.
351
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:25,661
Stand your men down, Lucius!
We have no quarrel with you!
352
00:18:25,662 --> 00:18:29,063
Quarrel? I just came to see how a
mismatched bunch of raggle taggle
353
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:32,105
adventurers bested some of the
deadliest criminals in Crackenwood.
354
00:18:32,106 --> 00:18:34,107
That's us!
355
00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:40,831
You have my thanks.
And if you ever want to join
356
00:18:40,832 --> 00:18:43,392
the Palace Guard,
you know where I am.
357
00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:46,754
The Palace Guard?
358
00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:48,435
You have my sword.
359
00:18:48,436 --> 00:18:49,956
And my staff.
360
00:18:49,957 --> 00:18:52,278
And my bunny bracelet.
361
00:18:52,279 --> 00:18:56,281
And whatever it is that I have.
362
00:18:56,682 --> 00:18:58,201
The mist clears.
363
00:18:58,202 --> 00:19:02,204
You see a lone, female figure.
364
00:19:06,568 --> 00:19:10,570
That's ruddy mysterious.
365
00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:16,254
Hello, Darkharden.
366
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:18,534
Hello.
367
00:19:18,535 --> 00:19:20,416
Who goes there?
368
00:19:20,417 --> 00:19:24,418
It is I, Queen Elisa Eldridge of
the Elves, who cruelly jilted you
369
00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:28,861
not three moons ago.
370
00:19:37,107 --> 00:19:39,428
Don't do this.
371
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:43,430
Just go with it, Roy.
372
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:51,355
Hello, my queen.
373
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,236
How are you?
374
00:19:53,237 --> 00:19:56,198
I'm fine.
375
00:19:56,199 --> 00:19:58,239
You look well.
376
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,641
So do you... Does she?
377
00:20:00,642 --> 00:20:02,083
Yes, she does, actually.
378
00:20:02,084 --> 00:20:03,643
Does she?
379
00:20:03,644 --> 00:20:06,565
So, what are you up to?
380
00:20:06,566 --> 00:20:08,606
Oh, you know just...
381
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:11,528
Just keeping busy.
382
00:20:11,529 --> 00:20:14,770
Missing you a little bit.
383
00:20:14,771 --> 00:20:16,331
Yourself?
384
00:20:16,332 --> 00:20:18,972
Usual boring pageantry.
385
00:20:18,973 --> 00:20:22,975
You know how the people of
Pippsiehollow love a parade.
386
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,977
What are you doing here?
387
00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:28,538
Sorry.
388
00:20:31,341 --> 00:20:35,342
Sorry. Bear with me.
Bear with me. Bear with me.
389
00:20:40,227 --> 00:20:44,228
I sense a sadness in you.
390
00:20:50,392 --> 00:20:52,593
It's just hard.
391
00:20:52,594 --> 00:20:55,955
You know?
392
00:20:55,956 --> 00:20:59,958
I miss you.
393
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:03,960
I can still smell you on our pillow.
394
00:21:04,922 --> 00:21:07,602
When I close my eyes,
395
00:21:07,603 --> 00:21:11,606
it's still your face I see.
396
00:21:14,408 --> 00:21:16,929
It's just hard.
397
00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:20,931
You were here
and then you were gone.
398
00:21:22,494 --> 00:21:24,574
What do you want?
399
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:28,576
It was not easy for me
to come here, Darkharden.
400
00:21:28,898 --> 00:21:32,899
But I had one thing
I felt I needed to say to you.
401
00:21:49,870 --> 00:21:51,370
Goodbye.
402
00:21:57,516 --> 00:21:58,715
Goodbye.
403
00:22:10,923 --> 00:22:13,684
Brilliant night! Brilliant!
I can't believe
404
00:22:13,685 --> 00:22:16,967
I've never tried role-playing
games before.
405
00:22:16,968 --> 00:22:20,969
I'm going to go home and tell
the whole rugby club about it.
406
00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:23,331
Roy and Moss did not disappoint?
407
00:22:23,332 --> 00:22:25,613
They did not.
I'd like to see them again.
408
00:22:25,614 --> 00:22:27,533
Thank you, Douglas.
409
00:22:27,534 --> 00:22:30,975
That's one special little
lady you've got there.
410
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:34,978
I'm glad Jerry died.
411
00:22:35,259 --> 00:22:36,379
Eiffel Tower!
412
00:22:36,380 --> 00:22:39,140
Eiffel Tower! Eiffel Tower!
413
00:22:39,141 --> 00:22:41,862
Eiffel Tower!
414
00:22:41,863 --> 00:22:45,865
Before you go, Jen,
I know it was you.
415
00:22:46,446 --> 00:22:49,928
You broke my heart.
You broke my heart!
416
00:22:54,631 --> 00:22:57,352
That's right.
That's right!
417
00:22:57,353 --> 00:22:58,433
Shut up!
418
00:22:58,434 --> 00:22:59,994
Oh, you've cheered up.
419
00:22:59,995 --> 00:23:02,956
Oh, yeah, I'm feeling a
lot better now, Jen, thanks.
420
00:23:02,957 --> 00:23:06,958
Thanks to a certain Elfin queen.
421
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,881
What happened to Fredo, in the film?
422
00:23:11,882 --> 00:23:15,884
Ah, oh...
The Godfather has him killed.
423
00:23:18,286 --> 00:23:20,127
I'm going to go home.
424
00:23:20,128 --> 00:23:21,627
I'm not feeling too good.
425
00:23:34,577 --> 00:23:36,576
Problem solved!