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Transcript: subtitle.me.uk
Subtitles: swsub.com
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Morning, beautiful.
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Course, I'll send someone up
as soon as I can, OK? Bye.
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You're very late!
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It's been crazy down here.
We've had a call.
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- Sorry.
- God.
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Are you all right?
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Are you poorly?
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No, it's just… a bad bra.
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It's the only one I had handy
this morning and it's really terrible,
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it's pinching into my sides
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and the straps
are digging into my shoulders.
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All that and it's not even
giving my breasts proper support!
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It's killing me.
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- I'm sorry, are you OK?
- What happened?
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Sometimes I forget I'm not
just working with other women.
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No, it's my fault,
I should be able to listen
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to a woman talking about bras without...
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Hello! Good morning, here I am!
Here we go!
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Yeah, I'm sorry, the first time
I wasn't expecting you
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to start talking about bras and then,
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the second time,
it was a bit of surprise
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to hear myself talking about them.
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- It's been a rollercoaster.
- Why don't you go lie down in there?
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Morning.
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- Morning.
- God, I feel rough.
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Good stag?
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Yeah, you know, standard stag.
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I may have got a little bit drunk
towards the end there.
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Well what kind of celebration
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would it be if you
didn't pass out at some point?
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Yeah, thank God nobody noticed.
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- How do you know I passed out?
- I'm a bit psychic sometimes,
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and I bet you came straight
from the party as well, didn't you?
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Oh, that's easy, I'm wearing
the same clothes.
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Roy, I was trying to remember how
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that song goes, The Locomotion,
do you remember that song?
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- Of course I do.
- How does it go again?
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You know it, you must know it.
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No, no, no. It's...
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It is a funny song.
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- You all right?
- Yep! It's just a bad bra. Right.
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I have got to go,
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heads of department meeting.
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After last week's fiasco,
I need to make a good impression.
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We didn't think you'd believe us.
If you had thought about it for one sec,
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you'd have realised that it wasn't true.
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I don't think that's true.
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With all due respect,
John, I am Head of IT.
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And I have it on good authority.
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If you type "Google"
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into Google,
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you can break the Internet,
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so please...
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... no-one try it,
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even for a joke.
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It's not a laughing matter,
you can break the Internet.
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You don't know what those meetings
are like, they are murder.
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It does you no harm to look
a little foolish from time to time.
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Roy, there's...
something I should let you know.
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What?
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Stephanie called earlier.
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Douglas needs someone
to take a look at his computer.
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No, no. Get Moss to do it.
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Moss isn't feeling too well
and besides, of the two of you,
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you're the expert.
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The Ordinary Boys,
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where do they get these crazy names?
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Entrare!
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I'm Roy, IT.
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My computer's... broken...
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I have to say that's a really wild look.
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You know, things are moving
just so fast, I can't keep up.
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First, The Ordinary Boys, and now this.
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Should I check it out?
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Great, yeah.
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Let's get started, shall we?
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What?
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What needs my expertise?
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You did say you're with IT, didn't you?
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Yeah.
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Come on, Mr Reynholm, I'm down here,
I may as well get to work.
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OK, I'm gonna move over here.
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Sure.
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I can see where you've been
having problems.
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See, this isn't actually a computer.
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It's a brief case.
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- Excellent.
- I'll have one sent up.
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I admire you, Roy.
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You've got the guts to stand
up in what you believe in.
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OK, see you then.
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Good luck.
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Which means that we now have
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the cleanest toilets of any legal
department in London.
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Thank you.
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Well done, James,
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you managed to speak for 8 minutes
without saying anything.
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- I think that...
- What?
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What?
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No, nothing.
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Who's next? Right, Jen, OK,
what's going on down in middle earth?
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Thank you, John, and,
prepare to be astonished
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because I have discovered four ways
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to increase our online visibility
without spending a single penny.
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Number one...
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Excuse me, sorry.
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Number one...
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Number one...
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You bloody thing!
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For God's sake!
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Bloody thing, bloody pain in the arse!
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I'm a woman.
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It's really pinching my sides,
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the straps are digging
into my shoulders.
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Moss, look, I'm a woman.
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And I love you, Moss, I love you.
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The straps are digging
into my shoulders.
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They're not giving my breasts
proper support...
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proper support, proper support…
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Hang on a second.
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Hang on a second...
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I've done it.
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I've done it!
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- Hello.
- Hello, Jen.
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Who is this?
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That's not important right now.
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Well, it says Moss on my phone.
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Yes, all right, it's me.
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Why are you disguising your voice?
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Because if someone is listening
in on this conversation,
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I don't want them to know my identity.
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But they know now.
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Yes, thanks.
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So why don't you use
your normal voice, now?
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It's attached to the phone,
I'd have to hang up...
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Look, just listen to me.
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Why don't you just come in
and speak to me?
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You're ruining everything!
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What do you want, Moss?
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Take your top off.
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- Sorry?
- You heard me, take your top off.
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- What's this all about anyway?
- You'll see.
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Is this another one of your inventions?
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Maybe.
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00:10:00,709 --> 00:10:02,879
What was the last one? Oh, yeah.
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A ladder to help moths
escape from the bath.
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- How's that useful?
- How's that not useful?
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00:10:11,597 --> 00:10:13,214
Moths don't get stuck in baths.
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Yes, they do.
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00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:17,406
Even if that were true,
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00:10:18,247 --> 00:10:23,332
it's just not in their nature
to learn how to use a ladder.
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They have wings!
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00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:31,057
When a moth thinks about travelling
vertically upwards,
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a ladder...
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is just the last thing
they would think of.
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Moss, I don't like
to be negative about it, but...
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everything you invent is worthless.
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Well, prepare to put mustard
on those words,
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for you will soon be consuming them,
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along with this slice of humble pie
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that comes direct from the oven of shame
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set at gas mark egg-on-your-face.
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I sort of forget
what I was talking about.
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Ah, here's Jen. Oh, that's it,
it's a bra. I've made a brilliant bra.
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How are you?
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Is it comfortable?
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This is possibly the most
comfortable bra I have ever worn.
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Donning clothes over a bad bra is like
building a house without foundation.
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It's a false economy
and an ill-fitting bra
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could well ruin your otherwise
painstakingly-selected ensemble.
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- You really know your stuff.
- Thank you.
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- Google?
- Yes.
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Jen, Roy, bad bras are more
than just a nuisance,
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they're a menace.
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Years of wearing a bad bra
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can cause upper back and shoulder pain.
It can even lead to headaches.
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So what makes this bra different?
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- It can never go bad.
- What do you mean?
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00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:56,194
Tiny elements of fissilca rub
together to prevent the fabric
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00:11:56,343 --> 00:11:58,449
from resting too long
in any one position.
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It's a living bra.
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00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:04,630
The effect would be rather like
having a large pair of man's hands
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00:12:04,826 --> 00:12:06,343
holding the breasts in position.
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00:12:07,904 --> 00:12:10,840
But the bra will go bad,
all bras go bad.
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00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:14,563
Not this one, Jen. But don't take
my word for it, take it out for a spin.
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So what's it called?
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I call it the Abracada-bra!
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You're kidding me.
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00:12:25,603 --> 00:12:27,623
- No.
- You're really going on Dragons' Den?
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00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:31,166
I've got an interview today
with the producers at the BBC.
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00:12:32,102 --> 00:12:35,102
That is just huge!
You're gonna be on telly.
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00:12:35,315 --> 00:12:37,970
But you've got to keep
this under your respective hats
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so if anyone asks for me,
my name is Stephen Jennal.
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00:12:41,173 --> 00:12:42,419
Why Stephen Jennal?
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If my calculations are correct,
it will be the only bra
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a woman need ever buy.
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Do you know what Playtex would do to me
if they knew about it?
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00:12:49,555 --> 00:12:51,970
- What would they do?
- They would kill me.
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00:12:53,758 --> 00:12:55,779
I don't know if they'd kill you, Moss.
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00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:58,077
Playtex have changed
over the last few years.
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00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,508
Nonetheless,
I want complete secrecy on this one,
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00:13:01,678 --> 00:13:04,963
so if anyone asks for me,
my name is Stephen Fennal.
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00:13:05,453 --> 00:13:08,133
I chose Stephen Fennal
because it's easy to remember.
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00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:12,527
Right. Except, well, you did say
Stephen Jennal earlier.
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00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:16,208
Smoke and mirrors, Roy.
Is it "Fennal"? Is it "Jennal"?
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00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,074
If I don't know, how will they?
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00:13:19,393 --> 00:13:23,052
Who am I, Roy?
I'm a ghost. I'm a shadow. I'm gone.
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00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:28,727
Hello, Moss speaking.
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00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,161
Well done, good presentation.
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00:13:34,416 --> 00:13:36,358
- Thanks, James.
- Jen, a word.
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00:13:39,116 --> 00:13:41,602
Got Helen Bewley coming in tomorrow.
Do you know her?
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00:13:41,748 --> 00:13:42,807
Of course I do.
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00:13:42,954 --> 00:13:46,702
She's now head of BHDR Industries,
so obviously we need to make friends.
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00:13:46,851 --> 00:13:50,062
I know, BHDR Industries,
they're the top makers of that product
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00:13:50,219 --> 00:13:53,222
- that's related to our company.
- Exactly.
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00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,209
I want you up front at that meeting.
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00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:57,942
We can't have her going back to BHDR
saying Reynholm Ind.
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00:13:58,102 --> 00:13:59,206
is a boys' club.
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00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:01,011
- How does that sound?
- Great.
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00:14:01,182 --> 00:14:02,676
All right, see you tomorrow.
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00:14:11,671 --> 00:14:12,796
Stephen Premmal?
222
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,475
Oh, hello. Yeah, I'm Stephen Premmal.
223
00:14:16,387 --> 00:14:17,443
I think.
224
00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:18,885
You're very late. Quick.
225
00:14:21,370 --> 00:14:24,065
Hello, Stephen Premmal.
I'm afraid I'm very late.
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00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:28,730
What exactly, is...?
227
00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:34,542
Gavin Briers here with developments
in North Korea.
228
00:14:34,989 --> 00:14:37,755
It's five years
since the war in Iraq began.
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00:14:38,223 --> 00:14:41,655
The conflict rages on
with no hope of a solution in sight.
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00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,676
I'm joined by Stephen Premmal,
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00:14:43,910 --> 00:14:47,060
a spokesman for
the Ministry of Defence. Mr Premmal?
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00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,315
Hello.
233
00:14:49,176 --> 00:14:52,495
Iraq is a gigantic
and bloody mess, isn't it?
234
00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:54,085
Yes.
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00:14:58,407 --> 00:15:01,619
- Well, how do you explain it?
- Well, we shouldn't have gone to war.
236
00:15:02,013 --> 00:15:04,141
You think the original
invasion was a mistake?
237
00:15:04,372 --> 00:15:05,393
Oh, yes.
238
00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:07,684
I'm astonished you'd agree to this
so readily
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00:15:07,844 --> 00:15:10,377
when your department
must take a lot of the blame.
240
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,140
What? We didn't do anything.
241
00:15:12,353 --> 00:15:15,167
You raised no objection
in the run up to the war.
242
00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:19,075
Yes, I did! I signed a petition.
243
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,360
Sorry?
244
00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:23,985
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
When can I start talking about my bra?
245
00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:31,336
Can you bring me
the prototype when you can?
246
00:15:31,549 --> 00:15:33,770
There are a couple of glitches
I need to iron out.
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00:15:34,026 --> 00:15:36,175
Sure.
Guess who I'm about to meet now.
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00:15:36,749 --> 00:15:38,217
Helen Bewley.
249
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,923
Oh, come on. She took
that football team to court
250
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:45,519
for institutional sexism,
won massive damages,
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00:15:45,689 --> 00:15:47,992
and now she's Head CEO
at BHDR Industries.
252
00:15:48,268 --> 00:15:50,831
It's all right. I kinda switched off
after the word football.
253
00:15:52,837 --> 00:15:54,829
Did you see it? Is he in?
254
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,137
Is he...?
255
00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:03,791
There I am,
256
00:16:04,642 --> 00:16:07,200
catching up with the news events
of the day,
257
00:16:07,706 --> 00:16:10,758
when who should appear
upon my television screen?
258
00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:13,397
It's only the Ministry of Defence.
259
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:18,236
The news, Dragons' Den,
you're all over the schedules!
260
00:16:19,705 --> 00:16:23,257
I'm sorry, Moss, are you really sure
you're ready to go on Dragons' Den?
261
00:16:23,662 --> 00:16:25,236
Yes, it's a brilliant product.
262
00:16:25,959 --> 00:16:28,625
Don't get me wrong.
You have got the science down
263
00:16:28,816 --> 00:16:30,963
but it's all the other stuff, isn't it?
264
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,210
- What other stuff?
- OK, well...
265
00:16:33,678 --> 00:16:37,738
OK, well, let's say this staple
is science,
266
00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:39,589
you're good at this.
267
00:16:39,887 --> 00:16:41,612
What you're not so good at
268
00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:44,326
is everything else in the world.
269
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,152
That's where I come in.
270
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:49,724
I can help you
with all this other stuff,
271
00:16:49,936 --> 00:16:53,274
you know, give you some
tips on business and presentation,
272
00:16:53,466 --> 00:16:56,580
leaving you free to concentrate on this.
273
00:16:57,282 --> 00:16:59,034
- What's in it for you?
- A cut.
274
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:01,774
All right, you're in for half a percent.
275
00:17:03,663 --> 00:17:04,811
Twenty five.
276
00:17:05,847 --> 00:17:06,929
Half a percent.
277
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,823
Deal.
278
00:17:10,770 --> 00:17:12,792
OK, first thing we need to do
279
00:17:12,941 --> 00:17:15,642
is buy the rights
for the word ”Abracada-bra”.
280
00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:19,055
Agreed, but before that, we've got
to sort out the overheating problem.
281
00:17:19,374 --> 00:17:20,523
Overheating problem?
282
00:17:20,814 --> 00:17:24,324
Yes, it's got a very,
very, serious overheating problem.
283
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,835
I'll have it sorted by next week.
Just need to get it back off Jen.
284
00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:32,395
Which has lead to significant gains
285
00:17:32,565 --> 00:17:36,912
in this area
and an overall yield of 22%.
286
00:17:37,614 --> 00:17:39,661
Thank you very much. Jen, is it?
287
00:17:40,512 --> 00:17:41,618
Yes, Miss Bewley.
288
00:17:42,214 --> 00:17:43,236
Please, Helen.
289
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:49,742
As the only 2 women in the room, we can
dispense with formalities, don't you?
290
00:17:51,022 --> 00:17:53,693
Reynholm Ind. has come
a long way in the past few years
291
00:17:53,837 --> 00:17:56,435
if a young woman like this
can blossom within its walls.
292
00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,417
I remember when the atmosphere here
was a lot less conducive
293
00:17:59,595 --> 00:18:03,268
to what I can remember
one executive calling "working skirt".
294
00:18:03,719 --> 00:18:07,386
Yes. Well, I think we're all a little older
and a little wiser now, Helen.
295
00:18:07,632 --> 00:18:08,800
One would hope so.
296
00:18:12,111 --> 00:18:13,153
Are you OK, Jen?
297
00:18:14,409 --> 00:18:15,472
My tits.
298
00:18:19,585 --> 00:18:20,797
My tits are hot.
299
00:18:22,329 --> 00:18:23,648
They're really, really hot.
300
00:18:25,239 --> 00:18:26,729
Oh, my tits are on fire!
301
00:18:27,282 --> 00:18:28,559
Yep, my tits are on fire.
302
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:32,076
They are on fire. My tits are on fire!
303
00:18:33,009 --> 00:18:34,818
Oh, yeah! All right!
304
00:18:36,754 --> 00:18:38,122
- 40%.
- 20%.
305
00:18:38,356 --> 00:18:39,803
- 40!
- 40?
306
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:45,619
You owe me. Helen Bewley
has gone away thinking I was a stripper
307
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,971
hired as a prank.
308
00:18:48,354 --> 00:18:50,588
But 40%, Jen, be reasonable.
309
00:18:50,758 --> 00:18:53,643
I have two black rings around here.
310
00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,239
I could sue you and get everything.
311
00:18:56,476 --> 00:18:58,702
- All right, all right.
- Good, thank you.
312
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,209
Now, I can concentrate
on your presentation.
313
00:19:02,062 --> 00:19:04,522
- I'm doing presentation.
- Where did you get pizza?
314
00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:06,818
Some idiot left it in the toilet.
315
00:19:09,675 --> 00:19:11,654
I am doing presentation.
316
00:19:11,909 --> 00:19:15,400
No, hold on. Moss is my best friend,
and I'm damned if I'm...
317
00:19:15,586 --> 00:19:17,297
- Do something else.
- What?
318
00:19:17,482 --> 00:19:18,717
I don't know. Fitness.
319
00:19:19,866 --> 00:19:21,248
Fitness?
320
00:19:22,113 --> 00:19:24,943
People do need to be fit
to go on Dragons' Den.
321
00:20:16,934 --> 00:20:19,275
Come on, Moss,
you're keeping the Dragons waiting.
322
00:20:22,317 --> 00:20:23,563
You look amazing.
323
00:20:23,797 --> 00:20:24,861
Thank you.
324
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:26,967
And you sorted out
the overheating problem?
325
00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:30,170
I'm completely sure
that I've absolutely sorted out
326
00:20:30,361 --> 00:20:32,021
the overheating problem, yes.
327
00:20:32,616 --> 00:20:34,371
Unless I've made it even worse.
328
00:20:35,498 --> 00:20:37,052
How do you feel? Do you feel ready?
329
00:20:37,264 --> 00:20:40,540
My middle name is ready.
No, that doesn't sound right.
330
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:42,546
I eat ready for breakfast!
331
00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:46,900
OK, maybe don't talk too much.
Let the product do the talking.
332
00:20:47,363 --> 00:20:49,731
What do I do
when they want me to do the talking?
333
00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:52,104
- You're scaring him.
- Don't be scared.
334
00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:54,334
This is one of the biggest
moments of your life!
335
00:20:54,526 --> 00:20:57,287
You cannot get nervous now
because if you do, Moss,
336
00:20:57,455 --> 00:20:59,413
it'll be a disaster, a disaster!
337
00:20:59,711 --> 00:21:00,860
Shut up!
338
00:21:01,031 --> 00:21:03,520
I don't want to do it!
I feel trapped, like a moth in a bath!
339
00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:08,955
Moss, we're already late.
340
00:21:11,934 --> 00:21:13,864
Will you come on with me?
341
00:21:15,098 --> 00:21:16,836
- What?
- Please.
342
00:21:18,134 --> 00:21:20,304
Actually, maybe it's just the thing.
343
00:21:20,559 --> 00:21:24,490
If Helen Bewley sees it, she'll realise
I'm a proper professional,
344
00:21:24,843 --> 00:21:27,361
and not a member
of the sex industry. You sure?
345
00:21:28,212 --> 00:21:29,999
I'm positive. You can do presentation.
346
00:21:30,829 --> 00:21:32,260
And I'll do fitness!
347
00:21:33,686 --> 00:21:38,674
Jen, Roy and Morris are IT
professionals with Reynholm Industries.
348
00:21:39,088 --> 00:21:40,473
They walk up the stairs
349
00:21:40,792 --> 00:21:42,253
and across the room.
350
00:21:42,966 --> 00:21:44,519
They nod at the Dragons.
351
00:21:45,243 --> 00:21:48,016
One of them, Morris,
puts a case on a chair.
352
00:21:49,352 --> 00:21:52,717
The dragons are beside
piles of money, with pens.
353
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,579
Women in the workplace...
354
00:22:00,196 --> 00:22:01,293
Take your time.
355
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:09,498
Women working
in a workplace environment...
356
00:22:10,238 --> 00:22:11,749
work...
357
00:22:13,139 --> 00:22:14,497
in workplaces...
358
00:22:18,127 --> 00:22:19,212
where they work...
359
00:22:19,779 --> 00:22:21,852
and as a woman,
360
00:22:23,325 --> 00:22:24,687
as a worker,
361
00:22:25,203 --> 00:22:26,799
as a woman worker who...
362
00:22:27,841 --> 00:22:29,234
works in the workplace...
363
00:22:33,309 --> 00:22:34,756
Sorry, bit of asthma.
364
00:23:09,724 --> 00:23:14,384
We are looking for £400,000 for 2%.
We'd welcome your questions.
365
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:30,173
This music sounds
like it comes from space.
366
00:23:30,646 --> 00:23:32,299
- Yeah, mate.
- It does.
367
00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:34,278
Ordinary Boys they ain't.
368
00:23:38,641 --> 00:23:40,854
I'm having a good time. Yeah.
369
00:23:42,237 --> 00:23:44,152
This is good, good shit.