1 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:12,372 Wha-ho! 2 00:01:12,838 --> 00:01:13,850 Whoa! 3 00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:19,500 Oh! Man, oh, man! 4 00:01:19,578 --> 00:01:21,800 I almost lost it back there. 5 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,116 I didn't know what was going on. 6 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,386 Oh! 7 00:01:25,317 --> 00:01:27,520 Oh... Oh! 8 00:01:44,496 --> 00:01:45,500 Mmm. 9 00:01:50,142 --> 00:01:52,824 - Oh, hey, babe? Doug? - Huh? 10 00:01:52,824 --> 00:01:55,975 Can you take Billy to school today? My day kinda... got away from me. 11 00:01:55,975 --> 00:01:58,962 Yeah, yeah. Unless there's an emergency at the office. 12 00:01:58,962 --> 00:02:00,206 Oh, was there an emergency? 13 00:02:00,206 --> 00:02:02,590 You know, dentists do have emergencies. 14 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:05,129 - Oh. - Sometimes. 15 00:02:05,129 --> 00:02:09,394 - Ah. - We are doctors. 16 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:15,133 Hey, no, no! Not until your LDL is under a hundred. 17 00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:21,201 Well, Mr. Putnam, any plans this summer? 18 00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:24,524 What's... What'd he say? 19 00:02:24,524 --> 00:02:26,848 He said we're taking an African safari. 20 00:02:26,848 --> 00:02:30,675 Africa. I don't think I've been out of Cincinnati in 12 years. 21 00:02:30,675 --> 00:02:33,793 You owe it to yourself to get out and enjoy life. 22 00:02:33,793 --> 00:02:38,780 You can't just live to work! You need excitement! 23 00:02:40,526 --> 00:02:41,595 Come on. Don't be a baby, 24 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,221 it's a d... Oh, the suction, the extractor. Hold on. 25 00:02:45,221 --> 00:02:47,098 That'll suck the spots off a Dalmatian. 26 00:02:47,411 --> 00:02:49,354 Help me, help me, all right. 27 00:02:49,354 --> 00:02:52,330 Know what they call this? One powerful little sucker. 28 00:02:52,404 --> 00:02:54,171 That's the brand name. It's unbelievable. 29 00:02:54,813 --> 00:02:58,270 See that? I have plenty of excitement in my life, thank you, Mrs. Putnam. 30 00:03:03,682 --> 00:03:04,368 Bobby? 31 00:03:04,368 --> 00:03:06,862 Karen, I asked for no disturbances. 32 00:03:06,862 --> 00:03:08,686 I need to talk to you, Bobby. 33 00:03:08,806 --> 00:03:11,813 Technically, I'm at the office right now. 34 00:03:11,813 --> 00:03:14,407 And technically, you're in our guest bedroom. 35 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,656 Look, I know baby. I... I just gotta finish this chapter. 36 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:18,672 I know. But you know what? 37 00:03:18,672 --> 00:03:21,215 I have to go to a job that actually makes us money. 38 00:03:21,215 --> 00:03:23,644 And I'm late, so... walk me to the door. 39 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,275 Come on, Bobby. I gotta get to work. Okay? 40 00:03:26,275 --> 00:03:27,919 Oh, wait. I forgot my cell phone. 41 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,226 - Stay. - Hey, daddy! Listen! 42 00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:35,412 Hey, no. Inside voice. 43 00:03:35,412 --> 00:03:37,827 - Inside voice. - Would you shut up? 44 00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:40,586 God, it's like living with a car alarm that shits. 45 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:44,328 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doin' tryin' to leave the house wearin' that? 46 00:03:44,328 --> 00:03:47,810 - You look like a Eskimo hooker. - Dad, that's the point. 47 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:51,596 - You wanna look like a hooker? - Dad, you are so lame. 48 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:55,481 It's hard for kids to respect a man that don't do none of the providing. 49 00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:59,783 In my day the lady stayed home. Not the lazy man. 50 00:03:59,783 --> 00:04:02,498 In your day, the men had pyramids to build. 51 00:04:02,498 --> 00:04:04,140 How old is that? 52 00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,905 I'm in complete control of my finan... 53 00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:07,570 No. 54 00:04:08,569 --> 00:04:11,469 Hush. Come. 55 00:04:11,723 --> 00:04:13,965 How come she gets quiet when you say something to her? 56 00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:16,700 Because you, my darling, have no control. 57 00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:21,048 Baby, I know your how-to book is gonna be a huge success someday. 58 00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:23,365 But do you remember what day today is? 59 00:04:23,428 --> 00:04:23,914 No. 60 00:04:23,914 --> 00:04:26,432 See, we had agreed that you would take a year off 61 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:30,256 to pursue this little fantasy of yours, but... that year is up. 62 00:04:30,256 --> 00:04:32,151 Now you and I had a deal. 63 00:04:32,151 --> 00:04:34,820 Come on, baby. Stressful cases. 64 00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:36,769 Clients under duress... 65 00:04:36,769 --> 00:04:40,011 I'm tired of dealing with shit all the time. 66 00:04:40,011 --> 00:04:42,587 Besides, how do we even know they'll take me back? 67 00:04:42,587 --> 00:04:44,676 - Because I called. - You're serious? 68 00:04:44,676 --> 00:04:48,058 The Firm is ecstatic to have you back, Bobby. 69 00:04:48,058 --> 00:04:50,128 You got a nine o'clock appointment. 70 00:04:52,061 --> 00:04:55,211 - You call The Firm? - Yeah, men's room. 71 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:59,226 Some truck's driver must've crap an entire cow in there, man. 72 00:04:59,226 --> 00:05:00,620 Good luck. 73 00:05:03,648 --> 00:05:05,103 I didn't want to give him the key, 74 00:05:05,103 --> 00:05:07,615 but... I didn't trust my instincts. 75 00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:18,482 I saw my father shot. I never cry until today. 76 00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:25,715 I got robbed yesterday, and I know now, 77 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:30,264 - your job is the bad one. - Yeah. 78 00:05:48,545 --> 00:05:51,486 - Dudley? - Yes, good morning, Mac. 79 00:05:51,486 --> 00:05:52,462 How's it going? 80 00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:55,487 It is now nine o'clock a.m. 81 00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:58,686 Thanks, Mac. Open Internet, please. 82 00:05:58,686 --> 00:06:01,923 - Command unknown. - Open Internet. 83 00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:03,754 Internet open. 84 00:06:04,913 --> 00:06:07,188 I think I have to research alternative specs. 85 00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:12,077 - Searching alternative sex. - What? No. I didn't say that. 86 00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:13,944 Want granny to take her teeth out? 87 00:06:13,944 --> 00:06:15,590 - Barnyard love. - Shut down. 88 00:06:17,508 --> 00:06:19,464 - I'm sorry. - Enjoy the animals. 89 00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:23,428 Granny's gonna spank your bottom. 90 00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:25,804 All kinds of fun. 91 00:06:27,193 --> 00:06:28,613 I can fix that. 92 00:06:31,772 --> 00:06:32,982 Or not. 93 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:37,901 Well, iCat. 94 00:06:39,335 --> 00:06:41,093 Looks like it's just you and me. 95 00:06:52,025 --> 00:06:54,190 Okay, Larry, so what are you tryin' to tell me? 96 00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:56,286 - You're broke. - Well, how does that work? 97 00:06:56,286 --> 00:06:59,253 That means you've spent everything you had, then you spent some more. 98 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,493 This is... right here. Nothing. Zero. 99 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:02,416 You know what? 100 00:07:02,416 --> 00:07:05,170 Maybe it's time for my wife, the "supermodel", 101 00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:07,888 to start paying for some things. I mean, for once in her life. 102 00:07:07,888 --> 00:07:10,029 You're getting divorced, why would she pay? 103 00:07:11,190 --> 00:07:12,916 Divorced, going broke... 104 00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:14,525 You think I'm falling apart, dont you? 105 00:07:14,525 --> 00:07:16,720 Not going broke. You are broke. 106 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,874 - Okay. - The door's behind you. 107 00:07:19,052 --> 00:07:22,129 No, no, you listen to me, Toby. You're not gonna push me around. 108 00:07:22,249 --> 00:07:25,075 Look, we agreed on a price, and that's the price I'm gonna pay. 109 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,451 You got it? And if you don't like it, just walk away. 110 00:07:28,451 --> 00:07:31,121 I'll tell you this, you can kiss your business goodbye. 111 00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:34,361 Because if you screw with Woody Stevens, you go down hard. You got that? 112 00:07:34,698 --> 00:07:37,386 What? No, money is not a problem. 113 00:07:37,386 --> 00:07:39,949 Don't insult me. Don't insult me! 114 00:07:40,088 --> 00:07:41,459 Money's never a problem! 115 00:07:41,459 --> 00:07:44,145 You just have to honor the correct price, you got that? 116 00:07:44,473 --> 00:07:45,487 What? 117 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,535 Well, then go home, Toby! You make me sick! 118 00:07:52,535 --> 00:07:54,990 I can't do this many leaves for ten bucks. 119 00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,486 It'll take hours! 120 00:07:56,486 --> 00:07:58,551 Well, you should've thought of that before you put that flyer 121 00:07:58,551 --> 00:08:02,223 on the telephone pole saying "Any yard for ten bucks". 122 00:08:03,295 --> 00:08:07,367 Toby. Come on, let's talk. Let's talk like men, okay? 123 00:08:08,783 --> 00:08:09,928 Well, what's the problem? 124 00:08:09,928 --> 00:08:13,953 - Money's the problem! - Grow up, Toby! 125 00:08:14,908 --> 00:08:17,747 - I hate you. - I hate you! 126 00:08:18,979 --> 00:08:20,317 Moron! 127 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:26,385 - Kel, it's me. - I'll be right down. 128 00:08:27,706 --> 00:08:28,795 Hey, Bill. 129 00:08:29,296 --> 00:08:33,435 Uh, you wanna shoot some hoops or something before I take my ride? 130 00:08:33,435 --> 00:08:34,912 No, thanks. 131 00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:40,817 Hey, babe. How was work? 132 00:08:40,817 --> 00:08:41,928 - Mmm. - Great. 133 00:08:41,928 --> 00:08:43,140 Good. 134 00:08:44,378 --> 00:08:46,314 Hello? Cool. I'll ask her now. 135 00:08:46,314 --> 00:08:47,974 Hey, mom, can I play ball with Stew and his dad? 136 00:08:47,974 --> 00:08:50,087 - Course you can. - Cool. Thanks. 137 00:08:50,337 --> 00:08:52,681 Here, dude, I'll be right over, okay? All right, bye. 138 00:08:52,681 --> 00:08:55,715 Bill, I just asked you a couple of second ago if you wanted to play ball. You said no. 139 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,232 Well, yeah. I mean, Stew's dad is awesome. 140 00:08:58,232 --> 00:08:59,932 He can totally dunk. 141 00:09:00,144 --> 00:09:01,761 The hoop's what? Eight feet above the ground? 142 00:09:01,761 --> 00:09:06,684 - Anybody could dunk that. - Well. See you guys later. 143 00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:10,464 Doug, I am so sorry. You know, I had no idea. 144 00:09:10,464 --> 00:09:12,314 It wasn't your fault. You didn't know. 145 00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:15,672 What do I gotta do to relate to my son? 146 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,444 Hey, guys? 147 00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,137 Does this sound better? 148 00:09:43,477 --> 00:09:44,496 Whoa! 149 00:09:52,215 --> 00:09:55,389 I'm okay! I hit my butt. 150 00:10:33,192 --> 00:10:35,132 Thanks, Woody. 151 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,775 I feel really safe with you. 152 00:10:36,775 --> 00:10:39,804 I noticed. If you ever lay your head on my back again 153 00:10:39,871 --> 00:10:42,401 when you're riding, bitch, I'll throw you in the traffic. 154 00:10:43,196 --> 00:10:45,906 I... I was just trying to keep the wind off my face. 155 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:49,149 - I felt you smell my neck. - Guys, could we? 156 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,537 Did you smell that man's neck? 157 00:10:53,151 --> 00:10:58,247 His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish. 158 00:10:58,523 --> 00:11:04,246 - Like a... lawyer cowboy. - Lawyer cowboy? 159 00:11:04,536 --> 00:11:06,901 Wild Hogs aren't welcome here. 160 00:11:07,984 --> 00:11:09,132 - Hey, Paul. - How you doing? 161 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:10,361 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Paul. 162 00:11:10,435 --> 00:11:10,702 Hey, Woody. 163 00:11:11,156 --> 00:11:14,111 Just waiting on those K-ones to do your, uh, tax returns? 164 00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:17,444 We also need to talk about that offshore incorporating thing. 165 00:11:17,615 --> 00:11:18,994 Yeah, well, I'll give you a call. 166 00:11:18,994 --> 00:11:22,861 Okay. I'll set up lunch. Or we could do a day at the spa. 167 00:11:22,861 --> 00:11:24,697 Now that was fun. 168 00:11:27,341 --> 00:11:28,161 I don't remember that. 169 00:11:28,161 --> 00:11:31,385 - Got your wine cooler, dad. - Oh, sweet. Thanks. 170 00:11:32,027 --> 00:11:34,791 - I'll see you Hogs in Hell! - We'll make it. 171 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,408 - That was scary, Paul. Good work. - See you later. 172 00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:40,337 - I'm not coming here anymore. - But this is a Wild Hog tradition. 173 00:11:40,337 --> 00:11:43,204 We're not Wild Hogs, we're like wild lambs. 174 00:11:43,358 --> 00:11:45,563 It's just a patch that Doug's wife made. 175 00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:47,695 We sewed it on our jackets so she wouldn't feel bad. 176 00:11:47,695 --> 00:11:49,328 - Is that a fact? - Yeah. 177 00:11:49,328 --> 00:11:51,508 Well, what has your wife ever made us? 178 00:11:51,508 --> 00:11:52,543 Hard. 179 00:11:52,844 --> 00:11:54,937 - Hey. - That's true, she is really. 180 00:11:55,013 --> 00:11:58,382 - All I'm saying is she's good-looking. - Show some respect. 181 00:11:58,382 --> 00:12:00,787 Come on. That's what your wife does. She's a swimsuit model. 182 00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:03,286 And it... And a good one, I mean. She is hot. 183 00:12:03,286 --> 00:12:07,292 Okay, here's a question: What are we doing here? 184 00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:09,688 Havin'... Havin' beers like we do every week. 185 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:13,418 No, no, no. Bigger picture. Life, man. What do we have to look forward to? 186 00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:16,126 Riding in formation in the Labor Day Parade, is that it? 187 00:12:16,201 --> 00:12:17,947 I'm really looking forward to the parade. 188 00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:20,395 I got Tootsie Rolls I can throw to the kids. 189 00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:21,983 Tootsie Rolls 190 00:12:21,983 --> 00:12:24,171 that he can throw to the kids. 191 00:12:24,171 --> 00:12:27,536 Man, you can't even put on your turn signal without bustin' your ass. 192 00:12:27,536 --> 00:12:30,550 Look, let's put some real miles on those bikes. 193 00:12:30,698 --> 00:12:34,426 - Road trip? - Yeah. A road trip. 194 00:12:34,426 --> 00:12:38,493 Just us. No rules. No Tootsie Rolls. 195 00:12:38,493 --> 00:12:40,871 Just us, the wind, the road to the Pacific. 196 00:12:40,871 --> 00:12:43,000 You know, we camp out for a week, whenever we want, 197 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,166 wherever we want... 198 00:12:45,037 --> 00:12:46,569 I mean, that's freedom, man. 199 00:12:46,569 --> 00:12:48,589 As long as we stop at some Wi-Fi hotspots, 200 00:12:48,589 --> 00:12:50,047 - count me in. - You're in? 201 00:12:50,047 --> 00:12:50,968 - Yep. - All right. 202 00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:54,711 Eh, I can't. I ca... I-I can't get the time off of work. 203 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,094 - You know, I'm a doctor. - You're a dentist. 204 00:12:57,094 --> 00:13:00,750 Look, in college... Man, he'd have been packed already. 205 00:13:01,122 --> 00:13:04,048 I'm not kidding. You-you-you know, and on a bike, he's fearless. 206 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,671 - He was fearless. - Yeah, well, that was... 207 00:13:05,671 --> 00:13:07,078 This guy, we called him "The Golden Knight". 208 00:13:07,999 --> 00:13:09,931 Where's that guy? I wanna see that guy again. 209 00:13:09,931 --> 00:13:11,393 That guy's married now. 210 00:13:11,907 --> 00:13:15,605 And that guy, uh, used to... used to get high a lot. 211 00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:18,064 - What's Claudia gonna say about this? - Nothin'. 212 00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:22,051 She's in the Bahamas doing some swimsuit thing for "Sports Illustrated". 213 00:13:22,508 --> 00:13:24,430 Look, if not now, when? 214 00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:28,499 Y'all know me. I'm the first to get buck wild. 215 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:28,791 - No, you're not. - But... 216 00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,753 You're just afraid to ask your wife. 217 00:13:31,109 --> 00:13:35,288 - True. True. I said true! - Come on! 218 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:39,036 This is it, on the edge, we're living! You know, "St. Elmo's Fire", 219 00:13:39,036 --> 00:13:41,120 "The Wild Bunch". You know, "Deliverance"! 220 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:41,685 "Deliverance"? 221 00:13:41,685 --> 00:13:43,738 - You know... - "Deliverance"? 222 00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:45,162 "Deliverance"? 223 00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:48,915 Hey, dudes. We're gonna ride as an American flag 224 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,334 in the parade this year. 225 00:13:50,334 --> 00:13:52,737 Each guy in our chapter is a star. 226 00:13:52,737 --> 00:13:54,542 - A what? - I'm gonna get sick. 227 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,853 - Who's gonna do the stripes? - The Lyman Middle School majorettes. 228 00:13:57,853 --> 00:14:00,202 Oh, boy. Hey, Doug, we're really living now, huh? 229 00:14:00,202 --> 00:14:02,455 I hope we don't get hit by a stray baton. 230 00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:04,234 You know what? I'm outta here. 231 00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,772 I'm going with you guys or without you guys. 232 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:07,905 You know what I mean? 233 00:14:07,905 --> 00:14:09,841 Take your smelly tees, whatever. Good night. 234 00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:12,336 - I said I'd go. - Come on back. 235 00:14:12,371 --> 00:14:14,300 Hmm. Oh, I almost forgot. 236 00:14:14,786 --> 00:14:16,717 We're also gonna be wearing these black ribbons 237 00:14:16,717 --> 00:14:19,519 in honor of Tom Peterson. He died last week... 238 00:14:19,519 --> 00:14:23,535 Boom! Just like that. Anyway, he'll be missed. 239 00:14:25,482 --> 00:14:27,226 Tom Peterson... Tom Peterson... 240 00:14:27,226 --> 00:14:28,991 You remember that guy? 241 00:14:29,482 --> 00:14:31,172 He was our age. 242 00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:44,625 - Mom, want some gravy? - Oh, yeah, thanks. 243 00:14:46,565 --> 00:14:49,023 - So, how was your ride? - I don't know. 244 00:14:49,023 --> 00:14:52,788 All Woody did was yap about taking some stupid cross-country trip. 245 00:14:52,788 --> 00:14:54,944 So... so do you wanna talk about going on this ride? 246 00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:56,437 I can't go on a cross-country trip. 247 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,173 I just can't walk away from work anytime I want. 248 00:14:59,582 --> 00:15:01,305 Yeah, you know what, you're right. 249 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,306 It's just as well. 250 00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:06,463 You know, road trips probably aren't the... best thing for a guy your age. 251 00:15:06,463 --> 00:15:08,213 I mean, it's gotta be really inconvenient, you know. 252 00:15:08,213 --> 00:15:10,472 Bunch of middle-aged guys, having to get off their bikes 253 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:12,561 every 20 minutes or so to take a pee... 254 00:15:12,962 --> 00:15:16,145 My age? What kind of crack is that? What's wrong with my age? 255 00:15:16,145 --> 00:15:18,289 I mean, she talks like I'm not right here, you know? 256 00:15:18,289 --> 00:15:19,955 Doug, I'm joking. 257 00:15:19,955 --> 00:15:23,081 No, you don't. You know what I think? I think you think I'm a boring guy. 258 00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:25,476 I'm old and I'm boring now. I've become lame. 259 00:15:25,476 --> 00:15:28,680 I think everybody thinks that at this table. I'm lame! I'm just lame. 260 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,231 - Admit it! I'm lame! - Doug, calm down. It's... 261 00:15:30,231 --> 00:15:32,959 No, I'm not gonna calm down. Cause you know what I think? 262 00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:36,217 "Calming down" means just another word for "lame"! 263 00:15:36,217 --> 00:15:39,605 I'm not lame! You know, I'm wild and free! 264 00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:42,435 Wild and free and a man, yeah! 265 00:15:42,435 --> 00:15:45,047 A man that likes to eat meat. I'm tired of not eating meat! 266 00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:47,268 Meat's good! Good for men. 267 00:15:47,268 --> 00:15:51,180 And potatoes. I like potatoes and I like gravy 268 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:55,340 on my potatoes. Yum, yum! 269 00:15:59,457 --> 00:16:01,719 - Don't make sudden moves. - I'm living wild, I'm living good. 270 00:16:01,719 --> 00:16:04,222 - And it feels good, baby! - Whoa, no, no, dad. Your LDL. 271 00:16:04,222 --> 00:16:07,255 Butt out, LDLs! I miss butter. You know why I miss butter? 272 00:16:07,255 --> 00:16:09,963 The French think butter is just like cheese, they eat it... 273 00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:12,999 They eat it just like that. Right off the stick. 274 00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:17,235 And the French, who've never won a major battle, they know how to eat! 275 00:16:17,248 --> 00:16:18,096 And I... 276 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:22,051 I am living, and it feels great! 277 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:28,697 Mmm... 278 00:16:29,916 --> 00:16:31,415 Doug, are you okay? 279 00:16:33,925 --> 00:16:34,658 Doug, you okay? 280 00:16:34,658 --> 00:16:35,869 - Yeah! - Dad, just spit it out! 281 00:16:36,188 --> 00:16:37,102 I'm all right. 282 00:16:37,102 --> 00:16:38,830 - Dad, just... just spit it out! - Come on. 283 00:16:39,089 --> 00:16:41,030 - Breathe, breathe, breathe! - I am not all right. 284 00:16:44,141 --> 00:16:46,806 - Well, Mr. Madsen... - Dr. Madsen. 285 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:50,266 Oh, really? Great. Well, then I can put this a little more simply. 286 00:16:50,266 --> 00:16:52,057 Looks like you had a catecholamine-induced, 287 00:16:52,057 --> 00:16:54,144 super-ventricular tachyarrhythmia. 288 00:16:54,895 --> 00:16:58,727 I'm actually a dentist, so I have no idea what you just said. 289 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,243 - Stress-induced panic attack. - I'm not stressed. 290 00:17:01,243 --> 00:17:04,778 Your body says otherwise. You know, we see this a lot in middle-aged men. 291 00:17:04,778 --> 00:17:07,836 - I'm not middle-aged. - We hear that a lot, too. 292 00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:10,220 How 'bout we get you out of here in a few minutes? 293 00:17:10,528 --> 00:17:12,338 Dr. Wesley to imaging. Dr. Wesley to imaging. 294 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,875 I am a middle-aged man, aren't I? 295 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:16,894 Only mathematically. 296 00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:21,208 I think you need to let off some steam. 297 00:17:21,243 --> 00:17:23,360 You used to love to travel. 298 00:17:23,441 --> 00:17:25,636 No, Doug, you used to play hockey. You were crazy, man. 299 00:17:25,636 --> 00:17:27,545 You don't even sing annoying eighties music anymore. 300 00:17:27,545 --> 00:17:29,027 Well, it's different now. 301 00:17:29,027 --> 00:17:32,581 You know, I had to slow down for... for you and... Billy. 302 00:17:32,581 --> 00:17:34,567 Oh, so I'm the one who did this to you? 303 00:17:34,567 --> 00:17:35,676 I'm in a hospital. 304 00:17:35,676 --> 00:17:39,038 It's a lot easier for me right now to blame other people for my problems. 305 00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:43,393 I think you should go on that trip. 306 00:17:43,561 --> 00:17:46,267 If you don't, I will fire up the hog and go with the guys. 307 00:17:46,267 --> 00:17:49,203 - Woody doesn't even have a plan. - He never does. 308 00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,282 It's like taking a trip to nowhere. 309 00:17:52,253 --> 00:17:54,957 Maybe that's exactly what you need. 310 00:18:00,843 --> 00:18:01,963 What up? 311 00:18:02,835 --> 00:18:06,452 Hey. You're late! Supposed to be here at eight-thirty, guys. 312 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,832 Hey, look here. If Karen calls, 313 00:18:09,832 --> 00:18:14,759 okay?, I'm at a toilet bowl seminar in Cleveland. 314 00:18:15,915 --> 00:18:18,642 Hey, no, I'm serious. I need y'all to cover for me now, all right? 315 00:18:18,779 --> 00:18:20,713 Yeah, sure. 316 00:18:21,389 --> 00:18:24,591 What? What? What are you looking at? 317 00:18:24,591 --> 00:18:25,615 I got a tat. 318 00:18:25,615 --> 00:18:27,650 - Come on! - Well, hell just froze over. 319 00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:31,398 - Let's see it! - I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat. 320 00:18:31,472 --> 00:18:34,655 - It's an apple. - Uh, Dudley, you know, uh... 321 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,887 I know. Trademarked. But what are they gonna say? 322 00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:40,555 It's in my skin, bitch! 323 00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:46,823 - You guys aren't gonna wear helmets? - Maybe I don't wanna wear a helmet. 324 00:18:46,891 --> 00:18:49,000 Maybe I don't want anything between me and the road. 325 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,705 You will if your head falls on it. 326 00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:54,017 Woody, 62 percent of motorcycle fatalities can be prevented 327 00:18:54,017 --> 00:18:56,207 - with the use of an approved DOT helmet. - That right? 328 00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:59,715 What's that leather condom gonna protect you from? Snoopy? 329 00:18:59,715 --> 00:19:01,445 The Red Baron? How about dating? 330 00:19:01,445 --> 00:19:03,471 - You told me you liked it. - Guys, guys, hey, hey, hey! 331 00:19:03,471 --> 00:19:07,338 There are no rules on this trip, remember? We're just heading for the Pacific, 332 00:19:07,338 --> 00:19:10,890 - and there ain't no plans. - Right. Well, we got a week to do this, right? 333 00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,947 So I figure we gotta be in Illinois by tonight. 334 00:19:12,947 --> 00:19:15,570 Well, the way I mapped it out, we should be a... hundred miles 335 00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,660 - past St. Louis by sundown. - Good. 336 00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:20,986 What did I say? I said it's the open road, okay? 337 00:19:20,986 --> 00:19:23,535 - Who knows where we're gonna be? - I know where we're gonna be. 338 00:19:23,535 --> 00:19:26,516 Dudley hooked me up. Check out this thing. 339 00:19:26,516 --> 00:19:28,083 It's a GPS in my phone now. 340 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,744 - Just look at that thing. - No kiddin'? Let me see that. 341 00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:31,686 - Cool! - What are you...? 342 00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:35,114 - Hey, numbnuts, what'd you do that for?! - For the good of the trip. 343 00:19:35,114 --> 00:19:37,925 You don't need a GPS to discover America. 344 00:19:37,925 --> 00:19:39,842 You need a bike and you need the road, okay? 345 00:19:39,842 --> 00:19:43,177 Freedom. And if we have an emergency, I got a cell phone. 346 00:19:43,177 --> 00:19:44,423 - No you don't. - What? 347 00:19:44,648 --> 00:19:47,987 Hey! Why did you do that? I got all my data in there! 348 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:50,206 Well, how does that feel, Woody? 349 00:19:51,437 --> 00:19:53,707 Feels good. Whoo! 350 00:19:53,919 --> 00:19:56,658 It's my prerogative! Mm-mm-mm-mm! 351 00:19:56,658 --> 00:19:58,622 - No cell phones! - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 352 00:19:58,696 --> 00:20:00,054 - Come on, get rid of it. - No, Doug, he's right. 353 00:20:00,178 --> 00:20:02,515 - No, wait, wait... - Whoo! 354 00:20:02,515 --> 00:20:06,192 Yeah! Yeah, Wild Hogs, baby! Wild Hogs! 355 00:20:06,192 --> 00:20:08,109 You just did that so Karen wouldn't call you. 356 00:20:08,109 --> 00:20:09,705 - Exactly. - Come on, give it up. 357 00:20:09,705 --> 00:20:13,375 So, we're not gonna discuss this? We're not gonna even think about this? No, don't! 358 00:20:13,416 --> 00:20:15,839 - We need one phone. - Freedom, baby! 359 00:20:20,314 --> 00:20:21,509 We gotta go. 360 00:20:22,459 --> 00:20:25,207 - Go, go! - Come back here! 361 00:20:53,451 --> 00:20:54,850 - Hey! - Whoo! 362 00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:56,318 Where're you guys headed? 363 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,241 I love you! 364 00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:03,601 You're hot! 365 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:26,509 - Losers. - Look at these guys. 366 00:21:28,066 --> 00:21:29,307 Hey. 367 00:21:30,314 --> 00:21:32,038 You guys wanna a ride? 368 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:39,055 All right. Sleeping bags are all set. 369 00:21:42,254 --> 00:21:45,317 Bobby, I got two words for you: foot pump. 370 00:21:45,317 --> 00:21:49,668 Woody, I got four words for you: Got a cheap-ass wife. 371 00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:54,467 Hey, guys, this is poop. So don't eat it. 372 00:21:54,467 --> 00:21:56,786 - Oh, God. - Excuse me, Mr. Hard Drive, 373 00:21:56,786 --> 00:21:58,883 you're supposed to bury it, not put it in a bag. 374 00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:01,275 This is plastic, I'm not gonna put it in the earth. 375 00:22:01,275 --> 00:22:03,573 I'll find a garbage can tomorrow. 376 00:22:05,222 --> 00:22:08,672 So you gonna sit right next to me with that doo-doo. 377 00:22:10,977 --> 00:22:14,073 Hey! Come on. Doesn't get any better than this. 378 00:22:14,073 --> 00:22:17,580 Sitting around a fire, chilling with your best friends, just relaxing, enjoying... 379 00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:20,353 I'm sorry, Dudley, you gotta get... You gotta... You gotta bury that thing. 380 00:22:20,353 --> 00:22:23,148 - Otherwise I'll vomit in your lap. - ... each other's company. 381 00:22:23,148 --> 00:22:25,696 All right. I'll hang it from a tree so the bears don't get it. 382 00:22:25,696 --> 00:22:28,538 - No, don't hang it in a tree! - Why not? 383 00:22:28,538 --> 00:22:30,421 Cause bears don't eat shit! 384 00:22:38,122 --> 00:22:39,088 What's up? 385 00:22:40,834 --> 00:22:43,650 D'you ever wake up and wonder what happened to your life? 386 00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:46,239 I really had such great plans. 387 00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:49,584 My life and my work would be an adventure. You know? 388 00:22:50,070 --> 00:22:51,982 All of a sudden I'm a suburban dentist. 389 00:22:51,982 --> 00:22:54,129 Hey, look, Doug, I feel your pain, man. 390 00:22:54,253 --> 00:22:57,051 Look, I swore I would never return to a job 391 00:22:57,051 --> 00:23:00,190 where I had to wear condoms on my shoes. 392 00:23:00,190 --> 00:23:02,111 - You're still at The Firm? - Yeah. 393 00:23:02,111 --> 00:23:05,462 I get... yelled at by an ungrateful wife all night... 394 00:23:05,462 --> 00:23:08,655 - The whole thing has made me... - A wimp. 395 00:23:08,655 --> 00:23:12,160 I was gonna say miserable. But you think I'm a wimp? 396 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,266 No, no, I thought you were gonna say wimp, so I just filled it in. 397 00:23:15,266 --> 00:23:17,940 You're... you're a wimp, Bobby. I... I'll say it. 398 00:23:18,632 --> 00:23:20,941 I mean, you're afraid of women. It's kind of embarrassing. 399 00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:24,040 - I'm afraid of women. - You're afraid to talk to women. 400 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,365 Bobby's afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. 401 00:23:28,167 --> 00:23:31,132 Wow. Now I'm really afraid of women. 402 00:23:31,132 --> 00:23:33,601 Well, at least one of us is living the fairy tale. 403 00:23:33,601 --> 00:23:35,851 Right, Woody? Plenty of money, travel all the time, 404 00:23:35,851 --> 00:23:38,148 you got the swimsuit model for a wife... 405 00:23:38,148 --> 00:23:40,225 At least one of us has got it made. 406 00:23:40,225 --> 00:23:43,388 Well, one man's fairy tale is another man's nightmare. 407 00:23:45,256 --> 00:23:47,624 You think that the marshmallow's done, Doug? 408 00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:51,781 Hey, look at that. Anybody want the first marshmallow? 409 00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:54,593 Starting to look like Dudley's helmet. 410 00:23:56,489 --> 00:23:57,777 All right. 411 00:23:59,570 --> 00:24:02,081 - I think I'm halfway there. - Oh, in only one hour? 412 00:24:02,081 --> 00:24:03,755 Bobby, you sure you wanna do that? 413 00:24:03,755 --> 00:24:06,979 You could use one of the spare bags we got in the... tent! 414 00:24:07,545 --> 00:24:09,664 Hey, Dudley, go get the water jug out of my bag! 415 00:24:09,851 --> 00:24:11,982 I want... Kick, kick, kick, kick! Dirt! Dirt! 416 00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:12,999 I got it! 417 00:24:13,217 --> 00:24:15,134 That's camp-stove fuel! 418 00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:18,695 No! 419 00:24:19,447 --> 00:24:22,373 - This is the wrong jug! - You think? 420 00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:26,178 Aw, God. This is supposed to be flame-retardant. 421 00:24:26,178 --> 00:24:28,698 Guess it wasn't "Dudley-retardant". 422 00:24:30,607 --> 00:24:32,455 All my drawers are burning. 423 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,549 Oh, perfect! 424 00:24:52,356 --> 00:24:52,848 What are you doin'? 425 00:24:52,848 --> 00:24:55,115 Hmm? Keeping my face out of the wind. 426 00:24:56,738 --> 00:25:01,423 Hey. Oh! Boy, my ass is sore. 427 00:25:01,423 --> 00:25:02,837 Mine, too. 428 00:25:03,018 --> 00:25:06,323 It's Woody's fault for riding us so hard yesterday. 429 00:25:06,323 --> 00:25:10,423 The human body wasn't made to straddle something that big for that long. 430 00:25:10,808 --> 00:25:14,463 Well, you know, it's gonna hurt a little bit, but that's part of the experience. 431 00:25:14,463 --> 00:25:16,246 That's why we didn't bring our wives. 432 00:25:16,246 --> 00:25:18,799 What the... What the hell? 433 00:25:18,799 --> 00:25:21,807 Somebody wanna explain to me why I'm the one in the dirt... 434 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,945 when I got sore jaws from three hours of blowin'... 435 00:25:27,483 --> 00:25:33,026 Please, please for the love of God, finish your sentence. 436 00:25:36,220 --> 00:25:37,620 Let's see, what, uh... 437 00:25:38,669 --> 00:25:39,785 What exactly do we have here? 438 00:25:39,785 --> 00:25:40,597 We got... 439 00:25:41,383 --> 00:25:45,936 one, two, three men, in a bed... spooning? 440 00:25:45,936 --> 00:25:47,505 This is not what it looks like. 441 00:25:47,505 --> 00:25:50,950 This is a, uh... We, um... What is it, Woody? 442 00:25:51,315 --> 00:25:51,715 Camping. 443 00:25:51,715 --> 00:25:54,314 I'll tell you just exactly what it is there, Poindexter. 444 00:25:55,145 --> 00:25:57,706 It is four counts of indecent exposure, 445 00:25:57,943 --> 00:26:01,209 two counts of lewd, lascivious behavior, and... 446 00:26:02,075 --> 00:26:05,556 one count... of pure jealousy. 447 00:26:05,556 --> 00:26:08,875 - Huh? - How you doin'? 448 00:26:09,419 --> 00:26:11,204 - Hey, look. - Whoa, we're not... 449 00:26:11,204 --> 00:26:12,921 Thanks for waking us up, officer. 450 00:26:13,437 --> 00:26:16,502 - Oh, it was actually... - I get it. You gotta get goin'. 451 00:26:16,502 --> 00:26:17,985 That's terrific. 452 00:26:18,126 --> 00:26:20,132 So five's a crowd? Is that what I'm gleaning here? 453 00:26:20,132 --> 00:26:23,152 Five's... uneven number. Figure it out. 454 00:26:23,487 --> 00:26:26,368 You guys can't see it, can you? You're too close. 455 00:26:26,551 --> 00:26:29,219 You don't realize how lucky you are to have each other. 456 00:26:30,121 --> 00:26:34,251 Oh, daddy... Damn lucky. 457 00:26:35,468 --> 00:26:38,766 - I've always felt so. - I know what you've felt. 458 00:26:39,721 --> 00:26:41,285 I have too. 459 00:26:53,644 --> 00:26:56,123 - You wearing pants? - No. 460 00:26:56,123 --> 00:26:59,579 Would you please put some pants on, for God's sake! 461 00:27:00,641 --> 00:27:02,509 What a nice guy. 462 00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:06,826 Mmm. Oh, yeah. 463 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,193 Whoo! Anybody else gotta take a leak? 464 00:27:10,193 --> 00:27:10,973 - No. - No. 465 00:27:10,973 --> 00:27:13,820 Hey, guys, last stop for quite a while. 466 00:27:14,912 --> 00:27:17,655 I gotta pee again now. 467 00:28:05,683 --> 00:28:08,702 Wow. I can smell them from here. 468 00:28:09,058 --> 00:28:12,342 Gentlemen, that's the real deal. 469 00:28:45,803 --> 00:28:46,832 What? 470 00:28:49,827 --> 00:28:51,855 Now, that's "wild"! 471 00:29:15,168 --> 00:29:16,877 Whoa, stop it! 472 00:29:17,168 --> 00:29:18,648 Biker in trouble! 473 00:29:39,817 --> 00:29:41,264 This is awesome! 474 00:29:44,703 --> 00:29:47,513 Ah, thanks for waiting for me, jerks! 475 00:29:47,921 --> 00:29:49,922 Yoo-hoo! 476 00:29:51,054 --> 00:29:53,821 Oh, it's... Whoa, it's cold! 477 00:29:54,921 --> 00:29:57,558 - What? - Why are you naked? 478 00:29:57,597 --> 00:30:00,433 We're swimming. Did you guys keep your skivvies on? 479 00:30:00,433 --> 00:30:02,740 Yeah. There could be snapping turtles or something in here. 480 00:30:02,740 --> 00:30:06,112 I kept mine on cause I didn't want it to get dark in here. 481 00:30:06,112 --> 00:30:08,907 I don't know, I thought we were doin' this wild and free thing. 482 00:30:08,907 --> 00:30:10,401 Yeah, well... 483 00:30:11,944 --> 00:30:14,329 More like old and lame, isn't it? 484 00:30:14,359 --> 00:30:17,265 The high guy would've just... ripped 'em right off, you know, 485 00:30:17,265 --> 00:30:19,746 back in the... back in the day. 486 00:30:19,746 --> 00:30:23,283 - But the day's today, isn't it? - This isn't necessary. 487 00:30:23,283 --> 00:30:27,295 Yeah, come on. Come on! Huh? 488 00:30:28,121 --> 00:30:31,667 Now you see what you just started? You even got Doug out of his drawers. 489 00:30:32,210 --> 00:30:33,920 What the hell, you know what I mean? 490 00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:35,474 But everybody keep their distance. 491 00:30:35,474 --> 00:30:38,843 I don't want the whole size thing to ruin our friendship. 492 00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:42,238 Launching mine. Over your head, baby. 493 00:30:42,239 --> 00:30:43,172 Whew. You guys are nuts. 494 00:30:48,931 --> 00:30:50,934 Come on! Huh? 495 00:30:51,970 --> 00:30:55,774 Fine. I will get naked with my gay friends, 496 00:30:55,774 --> 00:30:59,486 and if any of them look at my junk, I will kill them. 497 00:31:02,281 --> 00:31:05,227 Gentlemen, these are the good old days. 498 00:31:12,601 --> 00:31:14,984 Come on, kids! Come on! 499 00:31:14,984 --> 00:31:17,043 - Whoo! - Oh, no! 500 00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:19,011 Last one in smells like uncle Eddie! 501 00:31:19,011 --> 00:31:20,894 Aw, hell no. 502 00:31:20,894 --> 00:31:24,134 Hope you guys don't mind some company. Minivan was getting a little crowded. 503 00:31:24,134 --> 00:31:27,915 You know, there's a much shallower creek for kids just up the canyon there a little bit. 504 00:31:27,915 --> 00:31:31,661 Oh, no, my kids like to dive. Marky, show this guy your dive. 505 00:31:31,662 --> 00:31:32,178 No! 506 00:31:32,178 --> 00:31:34,334 If you put your arms out like this, he does a backflip right into them. 507 00:31:34,334 --> 00:31:36,642 Don't-don't do that, it's not a good idea. 508 00:31:36,737 --> 00:31:40,206 Oh... hello. You gentlemen like potato salad? 509 00:31:40,206 --> 00:31:41,327 We've got extra. 510 00:31:41,327 --> 00:31:43,743 But, uh, you might wanna eat that way over there. 511 00:31:43,743 --> 00:31:46,184 Uh, less ants and snakes. 512 00:31:46,184 --> 00:31:47,512 The kids are comin'. The kids are comin'. 513 00:31:47,512 --> 00:31:50,309 No, no... Oh, oh. Guys, guys, you can't swim over here. 514 00:31:50,309 --> 00:31:52,497 Crawfish, big crawfish, they're snapping... Ah, ah...! 515 00:31:52,497 --> 00:31:53,426 Crawfish! 516 00:31:54,236 --> 00:31:56,256 Lemme see if I can catch one! 517 00:31:57,414 --> 00:31:59,207 See? He's looking for crawfish! 518 00:31:59,207 --> 00:32:00,976 - I told you! - He's gonna find a couple of them! 519 00:32:00,976 --> 00:32:02,111 Where is he? 520 00:32:07,671 --> 00:32:10,275 Marky! Cooper! Ava! 521 00:32:10,394 --> 00:32:12,826 Let's, uh, let's get out of the water. Find a new spot. 522 00:32:12,826 --> 00:32:14,930 Why, Hugh? This is such a nice... 523 00:32:16,762 --> 00:32:18,130 Oh, my God. 524 00:32:19,028 --> 00:32:21,848 - I didn't wanna do this. - Out of the water! Now! 525 00:32:21,848 --> 00:32:23,243 Kids, listen to your dad. 526 00:32:23,243 --> 00:32:25,250 - No! - Aw! We just got here! 527 00:32:25,250 --> 00:32:28,521 Get out of the damn water, now! Run! Run! Run! Go! 528 00:32:28,521 --> 00:32:29,727 Come on! Come on! 529 00:32:29,727 --> 00:32:32,082 What's wrong with these people? Come on, go! 530 00:32:32,127 --> 00:32:35,063 I'll bet her potato salad was really good. 531 00:32:37,125 --> 00:32:39,356 - Maybe we should go. - Yeah, let's go. 532 00:32:39,356 --> 00:32:40,943 Why? They ain't coming back! 533 00:32:43,018 --> 00:32:46,525 Fellas! Forget about them! 534 00:32:46,597 --> 00:32:49,857 More room for us, huh? Come on! 535 00:32:50,052 --> 00:32:53,740 You like what you see? Huh? Let's get involved! 536 00:32:59,714 --> 00:33:03,311 Whoo! Now that's what I'm talkin' about! 537 00:33:03,311 --> 00:33:04,465 Whoo! 538 00:33:05,275 --> 00:33:07,372 I saw your bikes over there and I... 539 00:33:09,419 --> 00:33:11,174 Chicken fights, fellas? 540 00:33:12,472 --> 00:33:15,074 No? Plan B. 541 00:33:16,569 --> 00:33:18,528 - Marco... - Polo. 542 00:33:18,528 --> 00:33:21,705 Mar... Marco... 543 00:33:24,094 --> 00:33:25,495 Marco! 544 00:33:51,753 --> 00:33:53,219 Thank you so much! 545 00:33:53,219 --> 00:33:56,142 And, uh, I left a... window open, all right? 546 00:34:35,503 --> 00:34:38,957 Oh, yeah. Now, this is a biker bar. 547 00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:41,602 I'm buying, let's go. 548 00:34:43,199 --> 00:34:47,041 Hope they've bran muffins. I'm a little bound up. 549 00:34:52,081 --> 00:34:53,895 My damn leg's asleep! 550 00:34:54,113 --> 00:34:55,895 Oh, it's got an emblem, too. An FLH emblem. 551 00:34:55,895 --> 00:34:58,121 That is rare, man. Rare. 552 00:34:58,121 --> 00:35:01,429 - Can you see this? - Oh, man. That's beautiful. 553 00:35:02,147 --> 00:35:04,995 - What's wrong with you? - My legs are asleep. 554 00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:20,276 - How 'bout this one? - Yeah. 555 00:35:23,787 --> 00:35:24,836 You guys want beers? 556 00:35:25,232 --> 00:35:27,547 I gotta find that guy with the '55 bike, man. It is beautiful. 557 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,341 Ooh. Nice tat. Where'd you get it? 558 00:35:33,705 --> 00:35:36,593 Leavenworth. You? 559 00:35:36,834 --> 00:35:38,772 Meadow Hills Galleria. 560 00:35:45,609 --> 00:35:48,296 I don't think I've ever seen you guys around here before. 561 00:35:49,413 --> 00:35:50,264 What's your, uh... 562 00:35:50,727 --> 00:35:53,240 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Wild Hogs. 563 00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:54,998 That the name of your little gang? 564 00:35:54,998 --> 00:35:58,074 It's not a gang. We're just friends riding from Cincinnati to the coast. 565 00:35:58,074 --> 00:36:00,526 Hey, man. We in your seats? 566 00:36:00,526 --> 00:36:02,096 - No. - Nah, cause we could just... 567 00:36:02,096 --> 00:36:04,836 No. No, no, n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no. 568 00:36:04,836 --> 00:36:09,209 - ...we'll roll out. - No, n-n-no. No. I insist. Sit. 569 00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:11,019 - Sit? - Sit. I insist. 570 00:36:11,268 --> 00:36:13,157 I think I'm gonna join you fellas. 571 00:36:13,157 --> 00:36:14,180 Actually, we have a... 572 00:36:15,208 --> 00:36:17,181 Yeah, let's join 'em. 573 00:36:17,608 --> 00:36:21,320 Make ourselves some nice new little friends. 574 00:36:21,645 --> 00:36:22,498 - Nice patch. - Yeah. 575 00:36:22,498 --> 00:36:25,187 Did you get your grandmother to needlepoint that for you? 576 00:36:25,217 --> 00:36:28,498 Well, what's... what's going on with you there, uh, Cochise? 577 00:36:28,498 --> 00:36:30,217 What's your story? 578 00:36:38,249 --> 00:36:40,453 What is that supposed to be? Is he blind? 579 00:36:40,453 --> 00:36:42,699 He wasn't when he walked in here. 580 00:36:42,966 --> 00:36:44,319 Hey! I'm talkin' to you! 581 00:36:44,319 --> 00:36:47,136 - You hear me? - He can hear fine. 582 00:36:47,204 --> 00:36:49,362 Look, we're... We don't want any trouble. 583 00:36:51,413 --> 00:36:52,993 I do. 584 00:36:53,177 --> 00:36:57,052 Actually, that's what I'm... looking forward to the most. 585 00:36:58,448 --> 00:37:00,438 That's what he's looking forward to! 586 00:37:00,517 --> 00:37:03,680 I heard him say that. I heard him. 587 00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:07,243 Shut up. 588 00:37:09,899 --> 00:37:11,308 A'it, then. 589 00:37:12,496 --> 00:37:14,513 You're looking for trouble? 590 00:37:17,301 --> 00:37:18,937 You gotta be careful about Bobby here. 591 00:37:18,937 --> 00:37:20,665 His temper's like a Roman candle. 592 00:37:20,665 --> 00:37:22,591 Man... That's a damn lie! 593 00:37:23,447 --> 00:37:25,866 On the other hand, Woody over here, 594 00:37:25,866 --> 00:37:28,926 you get him mad, people get broke. 595 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,792 Doug makes kids cry. 596 00:37:31,792 --> 00:37:34,702 - What? - Yeah. You make kids cry. 597 00:37:34,702 --> 00:37:36,115 You made my child cry. 598 00:37:36,115 --> 00:37:38,277 Your kid was crying before she got to me. 599 00:37:38,277 --> 00:37:41,089 Oh, yeah. But I asked you to give her a lollipop. Be... 600 00:37:41,158 --> 00:37:42,309 - It calms her down. - You can't give a lolli... 601 00:37:42,309 --> 00:37:44,963 - All right, shut up! - You know what? 602 00:37:45,611 --> 00:37:47,250 I think we better get out of here. 603 00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:49,985 No. We'll get out of here at sundown. 604 00:37:50,090 --> 00:37:51,936 After we've had our beverage. 605 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:55,028 Sundown, Hoss? What? 606 00:37:55,138 --> 00:37:59,798 These are on me. You got the mocha lattes yesterday. 607 00:37:59,798 --> 00:38:01,322 - Ah... - Hey, brother. 608 00:38:03,756 --> 00:38:06,399 - Another Wild Hog! - Yep. 609 00:38:06,917 --> 00:38:09,996 Yep-er-oonie. That's our gang. 610 00:38:10,266 --> 00:38:13,855 Hey, uh, who owns that '48 Panhead outside? 611 00:38:13,855 --> 00:38:17,564 - That's my '48. - Sweet ride. 612 00:38:17,564 --> 00:38:21,389 I'm sick of it. How 'bout a trade there, brother? 613 00:38:21,389 --> 00:38:23,908 - Dudley. Dudley, Dudley. - Oh. I wish. 614 00:38:23,908 --> 00:38:26,945 I'm just on a Sportster. It's worth half of what yours is. 615 00:38:26,945 --> 00:38:29,060 A Sportster? I grew up on a Sportster! 616 00:38:29,060 --> 00:38:31,065 I've been wanting another Sportster! 617 00:38:31,065 --> 00:38:33,055 No, no, no. It's even better than that. 618 00:38:33,055 --> 00:38:35,581 In the gas tank is one of my shoelaces. 619 00:38:35,581 --> 00:38:39,079 I dropped it in there when I was trying to get my calculator watch out. 620 00:38:39,864 --> 00:38:41,146 - Dudley? - Dudley. 621 00:38:41,146 --> 00:38:43,745 Dudley... You got a deal. 622 00:38:43,745 --> 00:38:47,321 - Seriously? You're serious? - Think about it. He's not gonna trade the bike. 623 00:38:47,737 --> 00:38:49,931 Dudley, I wanna see what you look like on that. 624 00:38:49,931 --> 00:38:50,449 You're on. 625 00:38:50,449 --> 00:38:53,178 Ah! Dudley! Dudley, no. No, wait a minute. 626 00:38:56,199 --> 00:38:56,967 Yo, check this out. 627 00:38:56,967 --> 00:39:00,348 Does anybody else get that "pre-rape" feeling? 628 00:39:00,497 --> 00:39:01,822 I do. 629 00:39:07,611 --> 00:39:09,389 Oh, oh, this is great! 630 00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:12,327 No, no, no, no, no, no. This is Joker's Panhead. 631 00:39:12,327 --> 00:39:13,757 I thought we were talking about this one. 632 00:39:13,757 --> 00:39:15,526 Hey, your Panhead is over here. 633 00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:17,923 Oh. I was talking about... 634 00:39:18,388 --> 00:39:20,964 Nah, no, no, no, no. I got a better one for you. 635 00:39:21,785 --> 00:39:24,438 It's right over here. The red one, the Panhead. 636 00:39:24,728 --> 00:39:26,195 - Where? - Right there. 637 00:39:26,263 --> 00:39:27,791 That's a Panhead. There're no other Panheads. 638 00:39:27,791 --> 00:39:29,304 - That? - Yeah. 639 00:39:29,304 --> 00:39:34,030 - That's a pile of junk. - Yeah. That's your pile of junk. 640 00:39:39,162 --> 00:39:41,194 - He's just joking you. - You wanna know the joke? 641 00:39:41,194 --> 00:39:44,000 The joke is suburban assholes who buy leather outfits 642 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,595 who think they're bikers. And it's a joke that I'm damn sick of. 643 00:39:47,595 --> 00:39:50,554 You wanna know who a real biker is? Damien Blade. 644 00:39:50,554 --> 00:39:53,258 He founded the Del Fuegos and he built this bar 645 00:39:53,258 --> 00:39:55,444 for real bikers, not this! 646 00:39:55,444 --> 00:39:57,067 Hey, we have a right to be bikers. 647 00:39:57,067 --> 00:39:59,795 You don't have any rights. Shut up! I knew you assholes 648 00:39:59,795 --> 00:40:02,723 the minute I laid eyes on you. Look at the four of you! 649 00:40:02,723 --> 00:40:04,803 - You don't... you don't know us. - You don't think I know you? 650 00:40:04,803 --> 00:40:07,500 What? You're probably a... a podiatrist 651 00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:09,712 or a ear-nose-and-throat specialist. 652 00:40:10,020 --> 00:40:12,173 - I wish. - Orthodontist? 653 00:40:12,387 --> 00:40:14,478 Oh. Close enough. 654 00:40:14,478 --> 00:40:17,374 And you, Bobby, guaranteed you're henpecked. 655 00:40:17,374 --> 00:40:20,618 - Right? Your wife wears the pants. - You know my wife? 656 00:40:20,851 --> 00:40:22,942 And you, you anal-retentive wimp, 657 00:40:23,342 --> 00:40:25,412 guarantee you bag your own shit. 658 00:40:25,621 --> 00:40:27,578 Wow, you're good. 659 00:40:27,578 --> 00:40:29,738 - What color am I thinking of? - Shut up. 660 00:40:30,961 --> 00:40:32,939 You're the biggest poser of them all, 661 00:40:33,484 --> 00:40:35,418 aren't you, squinty? 662 00:40:35,986 --> 00:40:38,822 Go home. Just go home. 663 00:40:38,822 --> 00:40:40,824 Go home. You couldn't handle this freedom anyhow. 664 00:40:40,824 --> 00:40:43,649 Get out of here. Go back to your safe little lives. 665 00:40:43,649 --> 00:40:45,255 All right, guys, let's get our bikes. We'll get out of here. 666 00:40:45,255 --> 00:40:48,190 You're not listening to what I'm sayin'. I'm taking your friend's bike 667 00:40:48,190 --> 00:40:50,509 and you guys are gonna hit the road and go back 668 00:40:50,509 --> 00:40:52,976 to wherever the hell it is that you came from. Do you understand? 669 00:40:52,976 --> 00:40:55,928 I'm just saying we're gonna have to work something out. 670 00:40:56,086 --> 00:40:59,183 All right. Let's work something out. 671 00:41:14,130 --> 00:41:16,862 Hey! What's going on? Something break? 672 00:41:17,607 --> 00:41:20,516 - What's up, man? What's up? - This is bullshit, man. 673 00:41:20,610 --> 00:41:22,282 We should go back there and get Dudley's bike. 674 00:41:22,282 --> 00:41:24,704 That's why we're stopping? What are you, nuts? 675 00:41:24,704 --> 00:41:26,600 What we're gonna do is call the police. 676 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,162 I gotta borrow somebody's cell phone. 677 00:41:28,162 --> 00:41:30,090 Einstein had us throw ours away, remember? 678 00:41:30,090 --> 00:41:32,030 Hey, look, man, damn the bike. 679 00:41:32,030 --> 00:41:34,173 He's just gonna have to roll with that little sidecar. 680 00:41:34,173 --> 00:41:36,473 - Right. - Let's just-just get up outta here, man. 681 00:41:36,473 --> 00:41:40,842 Oh, come on. The trip is over cause some tattooed bullies pushed us around? 682 00:41:40,931 --> 00:41:41,986 - Yeah. - Yeah. 683 00:41:42,965 --> 00:41:45,776 - I go where you go. - Good. See? He's got balls. 684 00:41:45,776 --> 00:41:48,297 No. I mean my sidecar's attached to your bike. 685 00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:51,064 I'd rather turn back. But, honestly, how far could I roll? 686 00:41:51,064 --> 00:41:52,600 I'm not gonna let this happen to him. 687 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,718 I say we go back and we get his bike. 688 00:41:54,718 --> 00:41:55,776 - You? - Yeah. 689 00:41:55,776 --> 00:41:59,603 Who died and elected you pope? This isn't about Dudley, is it? This is about you. 690 00:41:59,603 --> 00:42:01,866 You, you, you. All through high school it's always about you, 691 00:42:01,866 --> 00:42:04,278 - and I am sick of it! - Oh, screw you, Doug. 692 00:42:04,278 --> 00:42:05,895 It's not my fault you hate your life. 693 00:42:05,895 --> 00:42:08,931 - I love my life. Why do you...? - Let me tell you something! 694 00:42:08,931 --> 00:42:11,003 This trip was supposed to be about adventure! 695 00:42:11,003 --> 00:42:14,377 But no. You're too busy dragging your baggage around to let that happen. 696 00:42:14,377 --> 00:42:16,273 Well, thank you, dr. Freud. 697 00:42:16,273 --> 00:42:18,225 Look, I'm not going back to get that bike 698 00:42:18,225 --> 00:42:21,078 to satisfy your bruised ego. Are you guys with me? 699 00:42:21,078 --> 00:42:23,427 - Oh, I'm with you. - Yeah, I agree. 700 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,874 There you go, Woody. We're not going back there with you. 701 00:42:27,038 --> 00:42:29,666 - Should we go after 'im? - Probably. 702 00:42:29,943 --> 00:42:32,255 - Are we going to? - Nope. 703 00:43:30,836 --> 00:43:33,841 Come after us now... assholes. 704 00:43:53,183 --> 00:43:56,216 - I'll be a son of a gun. - Oh, snap! 705 00:43:57,093 --> 00:43:59,289 You did it! You got her back! 706 00:43:59,289 --> 00:44:01,914 - Woo-hoo! - Ha-ha! 707 00:44:02,005 --> 00:44:02,767 Who's your daddy?! 708 00:44:02,767 --> 00:44:05,408 - You are my daddy! - Yeah, that's right, baby. 709 00:44:05,408 --> 00:44:07,162 Aw, man! 710 00:44:07,455 --> 00:44:09,741 - Thank you! - How'd you do it? 711 00:44:09,745 --> 00:44:12,419 Okay, they were totally pissed off. 712 00:44:12,419 --> 00:44:14,608 So I take a new tact. Reality. 713 00:44:14,608 --> 00:44:17,206 So I said to 'em "Okay, assault us. No problem. 714 00:44:17,512 --> 00:44:19,194 Because we may not be real bikers, 715 00:44:19,194 --> 00:44:21,871 but we know real lawyers. And as soon as you touch us, 716 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,373 we'll sue you for everything you got and everything 717 00:44:24,373 --> 00:44:26,177 you're gonna have." And they backed down. 718 00:44:26,177 --> 00:44:28,702 They totally backed down. It was awesome. 719 00:44:28,942 --> 00:44:30,892 - You really said that? - Yeah! 720 00:44:31,249 --> 00:44:32,156 My man! 721 00:44:32,156 --> 00:44:33,581 - Yeah! - Show me... show me love. 722 00:44:33,581 --> 00:44:34,929 Show me love. 723 00:44:34,929 --> 00:44:37,505 Hey, guess what. The trip's back on. 724 00:44:37,505 --> 00:44:39,197 - It's back on! - The trip is on! 725 00:44:39,576 --> 00:44:41,142 Wait. We're gonna go back that way, then? 726 00:44:41,142 --> 00:44:42,457 Yeah, they don't care. 727 00:44:42,708 --> 00:44:45,878 We should just, you know, do it before they change their minds. 728 00:44:46,650 --> 00:44:49,207 - Pacific Ocean, here we come! - Whoo! 729 00:45:01,945 --> 00:45:05,458 Son of a bitch. Come on. Come on! 730 00:45:23,753 --> 00:45:25,517 Thanks, guys! 731 00:45:31,132 --> 00:45:33,554 Those assholes got balls. 732 00:45:33,554 --> 00:45:36,379 That I'm gonna... put in my mouth and chew on! 733 00:45:37,807 --> 00:45:39,837 You're gonna put what in your mouth? 734 00:45:42,672 --> 00:45:44,730 Come on, Del Fuegos, let's smoke those hogs! 735 00:45:45,384 --> 00:45:47,002 - Let's go! - Come on! 736 00:45:56,895 --> 00:45:59,232 What the hell...? Aw, shit! 737 00:45:59,267 --> 00:46:01,748 Fire, fire! Fire, everybody. 738 00:46:01,748 --> 00:46:03,499 Hey! Fire, come on, get off! 739 00:46:03,499 --> 00:46:05,607 Fire, fire! Get away. Come on. 740 00:46:07,530 --> 00:46:09,953 Get out of there! Get out of there! 741 00:46:25,514 --> 00:46:27,622 Holy shit! 742 00:46:29,217 --> 00:46:32,151 Oh, God. Oh, no. 743 00:46:35,217 --> 00:46:36,483 Come on. Let's go! 744 00:46:36,483 --> 00:46:39,212 What's your rush? My balls are still vibrating. 745 00:46:39,429 --> 00:46:40,874 It's... It's the open road, man. 746 00:46:40,874 --> 00:46:42,584 It's ridin' free, that's the rush. 747 00:46:42,584 --> 00:46:44,742 This isn't freedom, this is a gas station! 748 00:46:44,742 --> 00:46:47,424 Built by the man! A prison for our souls! 749 00:46:47,424 --> 00:46:49,167 My soul needs something to drink. 750 00:46:49,167 --> 00:46:50,285 I need gas. 751 00:46:50,285 --> 00:46:51,759 We'll get gas at the next station. 752 00:46:51,759 --> 00:46:54,612 Come on, Wild Hogs. Let's go! 753 00:46:54,832 --> 00:46:57,556 Whoo-hoo! Let's ride! 754 00:46:57,981 --> 00:47:00,074 Did I miss the espresso stop? 755 00:47:00,848 --> 00:47:02,337 He's moving. 756 00:47:03,069 --> 00:47:05,002 Yahoo! 757 00:47:27,031 --> 00:47:28,983 Woody! You're an asshole. 758 00:47:28,983 --> 00:47:30,646 They should've had a sign that said 759 00:47:30,646 --> 00:47:33,188 "Last gas... X amount of miles." 760 00:47:38,061 --> 00:47:42,951 I need... somethin' to drink. I'm thirsty... Or else I'm-a die! 761 00:47:43,293 --> 00:47:47,567 You know, I keep... saving my spit so it's like a drink of water, 762 00:47:47,567 --> 00:47:50,359 and it just keeps tasting like my... my spit. 763 00:47:50,992 --> 00:47:52,104 They say you can get 764 00:47:52,104 --> 00:47:55,100 something to drink out of a cactus. Right? 765 00:47:55,210 --> 00:47:56,759 Where are the cactuses? 766 00:47:56,972 --> 00:48:00,055 We're in a desert that don't have no damn cactuses. 767 00:48:00,055 --> 00:48:00,908 Yeah. 768 00:48:01,001 --> 00:48:05,138 Actually, I think when it's plural, it's "cacti". 769 00:48:05,138 --> 00:48:07,504 - I'm killing 'im. - You're gonna kill 'im? 770 00:48:07,504 --> 00:48:10,320 Hey, we're all thinking it, okay? We gonna need the nourishment. 771 00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:11,747 He'll put up the least struggle. 772 00:48:11,747 --> 00:48:14,059 - Move out of the way. - You love Dudley. 773 00:48:14,059 --> 00:48:16,512 It's the sun. It's making us all crazy. 774 00:48:16,512 --> 00:48:19,774 You're right, man. My-my-my bad, Dud. 775 00:48:19,774 --> 00:48:22,035 You know, I don't know what came over me. 776 00:48:22,532 --> 00:48:25,879 Dehydration. Your blood's thickening, so your heart's working harder 777 00:48:25,879 --> 00:48:28,724 to pump it through your... arteries. Less gets to your head. 778 00:48:28,724 --> 00:48:30,850 Our bodies are literally trying to drink themselves. 779 00:48:30,850 --> 00:48:32,283 All right. I'm killing 'im. 780 00:48:32,727 --> 00:48:35,256 Guys, wait a minute. Look, they got a sign up here. Look! 781 00:48:35,305 --> 00:48:37,392 Curve of the road. Read it! 782 00:48:37,580 --> 00:48:40,142 - Madrid? Spain? - No. It's Madrid. 783 00:48:40,142 --> 00:48:42,132 That's what the locals say. I Googled it. 784 00:48:42,132 --> 00:48:45,242 Gonna be water, food and gas... 785 00:48:45,908 --> 00:48:49,261 - We're gonna live. - We gonna live! 786 00:48:49,261 --> 00:48:51,950 We gonna live, baby! 787 00:48:55,548 --> 00:48:59,783 - It's closed! - Ah, man! It's closed! 788 00:49:00,203 --> 00:49:01,950 But the diner up here... 789 00:49:02,012 --> 00:49:05,006 The diner's open! Come on! 790 00:49:06,644 --> 00:49:07,955 Get me a drink, quick! 791 00:49:07,955 --> 00:49:09,791 - We need water! - Quick! 792 00:49:10,093 --> 00:49:12,680 - Hey! Come on! - Right here. Right here! 793 00:49:12,749 --> 00:49:13,329 Whoa! 794 00:49:13,329 --> 00:49:16,591 - Oh! Right here! Me! - Me! Me! 795 00:49:16,730 --> 00:49:17,852 - You? - Me! 796 00:49:17,852 --> 00:49:18,610 - Hey! - You! 797 00:49:24,884 --> 00:49:27,974 They just were here three weeks ago and they're already getting violent. 798 00:49:28,217 --> 00:49:31,061 It's okay, I got it. 799 00:49:35,197 --> 00:49:37,898 - You gentlemen like a seat? - Is there a booth open? 800 00:49:38,046 --> 00:49:39,296 Let's go! 801 00:49:39,655 --> 00:49:41,886 - Oh, yeah. Uh, what? - Come on. 802 00:49:43,079 --> 00:49:45,161 - Keep moving! - Uh, nice town. 803 00:49:49,252 --> 00:49:53,567 So, uh, I... 804 00:49:54,778 --> 00:49:56,106 Uh... 805 00:50:03,201 --> 00:50:06,943 - She is perfect. - You like the waitress? 806 00:50:07,303 --> 00:50:09,982 Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, 807 00:50:09,982 --> 00:50:12,444 but all I could think of was black jokes. 808 00:50:12,915 --> 00:50:16,037 - Like which ones? - I forget. 809 00:50:16,037 --> 00:50:20,108 Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whupped? 810 00:50:20,183 --> 00:50:22,596 - Would that be funny? - I'll be laughing. 811 00:50:22,596 --> 00:50:24,296 Oh, I'll be cracking up. 812 00:50:27,303 --> 00:50:29,724 Oh, it's the law. Oh, boy. 813 00:50:35,398 --> 00:50:38,214 - You boys here for the Chili Festival? - What, you have a problem? 814 00:50:38,635 --> 00:50:41,482 You look like you just saw something explode or something in that area. 815 00:50:41,482 --> 00:50:43,024 We're just passing through, man. 816 00:50:43,024 --> 00:50:46,853 The people around here don't want any more trouble. 817 00:50:46,853 --> 00:50:49,374 And me, I got no problem with you Del Fuegos 818 00:50:49,374 --> 00:50:51,522 as long as you boys could stay sober... 819 00:50:51,522 --> 00:50:54,973 No, no. No, we're... we're not associated with those assholes. 820 00:50:54,973 --> 00:50:56,469 - You're not? - No. 821 00:50:56,469 --> 00:50:58,189 - For real? - Yeah. 822 00:50:59,325 --> 00:51:01,974 Folks, they're not Del Fuegos. 823 00:51:03,567 --> 00:51:05,919 Are the Del Fuegos a problem around here? 824 00:51:05,919 --> 00:51:08,811 Only if you expect 'em to pay for a meal they just ate 825 00:51:08,811 --> 00:51:10,120 or a beer they just drank. 826 00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,419 - Well, you on't have problems with us. - No, no. No. 827 00:51:12,419 --> 00:51:15,490 - Then welcome to Madrid. - Excuse me, sheriff? 828 00:51:15,681 --> 00:51:17,693 - Uh, the Del Fuegos? - Yeah. 829 00:51:17,693 --> 00:51:21,332 Okay, now. Now, how often might they... come through this town? 830 00:51:21,744 --> 00:51:23,276 Oh, once every few months. 831 00:51:23,276 --> 00:51:24,710 - Oh? - Yeah. Yeah. 832 00:51:24,710 --> 00:51:27,382 And-and, uh, the gas station, now when would that be open? 833 00:51:27,382 --> 00:51:30,072 That's closed on Sundays. So tomorrow morning. 834 00:51:30,072 --> 00:51:30,887 Oh, God. 835 00:51:30,887 --> 00:51:34,877 But, you know, maybe you should seriously consider spending the night. 836 00:51:34,877 --> 00:51:38,146 Because we're having the world's hottest chili contest. 837 00:51:38,146 --> 00:51:40,961 The Chili Festival is not something you wanna miss. 838 00:51:40,961 --> 00:51:44,093 Last year, somebody's throat actually started to bleed. 839 00:51:44,093 --> 00:51:47,709 Oh, damn! Somebody's throat started to bleed? 840 00:51:47,709 --> 00:51:49,357 Yeah. Changed their life. 841 00:51:49,357 --> 00:51:52,067 It's great. Think about it. 842 00:51:53,843 --> 00:51:57,037 We gotta get out of this town, man. This town is a drag. We gotta move on. 843 00:51:57,037 --> 00:51:59,184 - We gotta find a way out. - Woody, chill out, man. 844 00:51:59,184 --> 00:52:01,012 We finally get a chance to relax. 845 00:52:01,012 --> 00:52:03,159 Yeah. And being able to use a bathroom, 846 00:52:03,159 --> 00:52:06,557 - that might be a good idea. - And I can empty my poop bag. 847 00:52:06,557 --> 00:52:08,204 You gonna re-use the bag? 848 00:52:08,204 --> 00:52:10,339 Woody, remember the theme of this trip? 849 00:52:10,339 --> 00:52:12,056 "Whatever", remember? "Whatever." 850 00:52:12,056 --> 00:52:13,419 Okay, fine! Fine. 851 00:52:13,419 --> 00:52:16,157 We'll stay the night and then we'll get gas in the morning. Okay? 852 00:52:16,157 --> 00:52:19,018 Calm down. I just don't understand what your rush is. 853 00:52:19,272 --> 00:52:21,846 I'm not in a rush, man. I just wanna ride, man. 854 00:52:21,846 --> 00:52:23,055 I just wanna ride. You know? 855 00:52:23,055 --> 00:52:25,648 Ride, Sally, ride! 856 00:52:25,648 --> 00:52:29,380 You are so weird. He asks the... You say the weirdest things, man. 857 00:52:29,380 --> 00:52:32,655 You're just like "We're digging the roots, buying real estate and shit." 858 00:52:32,655 --> 00:52:35,646 Yeah. Why don't you just... 859 00:52:36,052 --> 00:52:37,952 What?! What? 860 00:52:45,986 --> 00:52:47,628 All right, everybody come here. 861 00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:49,111 Come on. 862 00:52:51,995 --> 00:52:53,108 All right. 863 00:52:54,626 --> 00:52:56,205 We're here. Right? 864 00:52:56,205 --> 00:52:59,421 They could be in any of these towns by now. Right around here. A'it? 865 00:52:59,421 --> 00:53:01,158 We're gonna find them, we're gonna get 'em. 866 00:53:01,394 --> 00:53:02,662 I don't know, Jack. 867 00:53:02,662 --> 00:53:05,737 I mean, by my calculations, I'm-I'm thinking, you know, 868 00:53:05,737 --> 00:53:07,665 if they're... four hours ahead of us... 869 00:53:07,665 --> 00:53:11,264 Shut up! Anybody else wanna tell me how hard this is gonna be? 870 00:53:11,372 --> 00:53:13,871 Huh? Are there any other naysayers? 871 00:53:14,457 --> 00:53:17,524 Good. I want you to break up into two-man teams. 872 00:53:17,762 --> 00:53:19,844 You call me when you find 'em. 873 00:53:51,141 --> 00:53:54,499 Oh, snap. A softball pitch. 874 00:53:54,697 --> 00:53:56,801 You-you... I gotta win somethin' for my girls. 875 00:53:57,066 --> 00:53:58,706 Wait a minute. You think you're good at this? 876 00:53:58,706 --> 00:53:59,979 Oh, I know I'm good at this. 877 00:53:59,979 --> 00:54:03,570 Hey, on my Little League team, they used to call me "Bull's Eye Bobby". 878 00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:05,296 - Yeah. - Cause I had pinpoint control. 879 00:54:05,296 --> 00:54:05,764 Right. 880 00:54:05,764 --> 00:54:09,274 A hundred and forty-four innings, and never walked a single batter, baby. 881 00:54:09,424 --> 00:54:11,252 Watch me work, baby. 882 00:54:11,447 --> 00:54:12,140 - Here you go. - How you doin'? 883 00:54:12,140 --> 00:54:13,259 - All right. Good luck. - Thank you. 884 00:54:13,259 --> 00:54:15,000 All right, Bull's Eye Bobby, folks! 885 00:54:18,025 --> 00:54:20,439 Bull's Eye Bobby, baby. 886 00:54:21,557 --> 00:54:24,390 It's probably been, what? Twenty-eight years, Bulls Eye? 887 00:54:30,541 --> 00:54:33,546 - Hey. - Hi. 888 00:54:34,154 --> 00:54:35,764 So, um... 889 00:54:37,837 --> 00:54:39,580 - Excuse me? - Never mind. 890 00:54:39,850 --> 00:54:43,392 - So you like chili? - Oh, yeah. Not the hot stuff. 891 00:54:43,392 --> 00:54:45,406 But you put a nice, mild turkey chili in front of me? 892 00:54:45,406 --> 00:54:47,521 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna eat it. 893 00:54:47,521 --> 00:54:50,109 That's too bad, cause I wanted you to try mine, but... 894 00:54:50,109 --> 00:54:51,682 - it's pretty hot. - No, I'll try it! 895 00:54:51,682 --> 00:54:55,595 I like your kinda hot. The... In your chili. The chili hot. Food hot. 896 00:54:55,595 --> 00:54:58,937 That's the kinda hot I wanna kiss. Eat. 897 00:55:00,264 --> 00:55:01,916 Okay. If you're sure you can handle it. 898 00:55:01,916 --> 00:55:04,248 Handle it? I'm a biker. 899 00:55:04,809 --> 00:55:06,596 - What's you call him? - Bull's Eye Bobby! 900 00:55:06,596 --> 00:55:08,469 Bull's Eye Bobby, baby. 901 00:55:08,483 --> 00:55:10,293 - Yeah, Bull's Eye. - Ha-ha-ha! 902 00:55:10,631 --> 00:55:11,573 Yep. 903 00:55:13,783 --> 00:55:14,899 Oh... 904 00:55:17,138 --> 00:55:20,064 - I guess that counts as a walk? - I'm gonna sit. 905 00:55:39,302 --> 00:55:40,542 Mmm. 906 00:55:40,803 --> 00:55:45,745 Smooth. Tasty. Little... spice. 907 00:55:45,745 --> 00:55:47,914 It gets a little hotter as it sits in your throat down there. 908 00:55:50,268 --> 00:55:51,754 You okay? 909 00:55:53,015 --> 00:55:55,198 You want some of this? It'll cool you down. 910 00:55:59,641 --> 00:56:01,845 Don't worry, your throat won't actually bleed. 911 00:56:04,814 --> 00:56:06,223 I understand. 912 00:56:09,231 --> 00:56:12,631 Mother of God! I swallowed hot lava! 913 00:56:21,043 --> 00:56:22,049 Hundred and forty-four innings, 914 00:56:22,049 --> 00:56:24,051 you never hit anybody in the crotch like that? 915 00:56:24,051 --> 00:56:26,645 Not on purpose, man, all right? You all right? 916 00:56:26,645 --> 00:56:30,013 - Yeah, it's... Good fastball. - Hey. I'd like you boys 917 00:56:30,013 --> 00:56:32,524 to meet my deputies, Earl and Buck Dooble. 918 00:56:32,524 --> 00:56:35,065 - How are you, Earl? - I'm Earl. He's Buck. 919 00:56:35,091 --> 00:56:36,863 - Earl, Buck. - Now, just remember: 920 00:56:36,863 --> 00:56:40,801 Brother with the word "ear" in his name has got both on his head. 921 00:56:42,227 --> 00:56:44,847 See, I can only say that cause I'm on his right side, 922 00:56:44,847 --> 00:56:47,933 which, as you can see, is mostly blown off. 923 00:56:48,004 --> 00:56:49,971 - You say something, Earl? - No, I did not. 924 00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:53,437 Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. 925 00:56:53,609 --> 00:56:55,674 I mean, sometimes you pull 'em out, 926 00:56:55,674 --> 00:56:57,935 you think they're not loaded, and then sometimes... 927 00:56:57,935 --> 00:57:01,214 - They blow your deputy's ear off? - Yeah. 928 00:57:04,192 --> 00:57:06,388 So, what brings you boys on this trip, anyway? 929 00:57:06,388 --> 00:57:09,166 Firstly, we had to get away, okay? 930 00:57:09,221 --> 00:57:11,534 And secondly, you know, you just... never know 931 00:57:12,260 --> 00:57:14,036 how many more summers you got left. 932 00:57:14,367 --> 00:57:18,296 - Do you? - Wow. That's deep. 933 00:57:18,410 --> 00:57:19,764 I just came on this trip, 934 00:57:19,764 --> 00:57:23,125 you know, hoping to... reclaim the old Doug, you know? 935 00:57:23,125 --> 00:57:26,418 You know, I know exactly what you mean. 936 00:57:26,418 --> 00:57:30,202 You know, you can never let life get too stagnant or too safe. 937 00:57:30,202 --> 00:57:31,751 Every now and then you gotta do 938 00:57:31,751 --> 00:57:35,130 what we folks around here like to call "Slap the Bull". 939 00:57:35,130 --> 00:57:36,803 What's a "Slapping the Bull"? 940 00:57:36,803 --> 00:57:38,991 That's just a... little game we play 941 00:57:38,991 --> 00:57:42,061 to make sure your life is not controlled by fear. 942 00:57:42,061 --> 00:57:43,511 Yeah, I wanna do that. 943 00:57:43,511 --> 00:57:45,858 Oh, come on, guys. We're exhausted. 944 00:57:45,858 --> 00:57:48,700 I think we should just... put the bikes in back of the hotel, 945 00:57:48,700 --> 00:57:52,545 in a shed with the doors closed, perhaps, and then... play Scrabble 946 00:57:52,545 --> 00:57:54,848 in the... in the room with the... with the shades down. 947 00:57:54,848 --> 00:57:58,503 Look, Aunt Bee, maybe you wanna do something else here in Mayberry. 948 00:57:58,503 --> 00:57:59,020 Yeah. 949 00:57:59,020 --> 00:58:03,114 - Hey, Bobby. How 'bout a little Bull Slap? - That sounds like somethin' I could win at. 950 00:58:03,114 --> 00:58:04,748 - Yeah. - I-I'll take a little Bull Slap. 951 00:58:04,748 --> 00:58:07,664 Yeah, look, Bull Slap for everybody. Come on. Line 'em up. 952 00:58:07,664 --> 00:58:09,821 - Let's have a little Bull Slap. - We'll do it! 953 00:58:11,687 --> 00:58:13,798 So literally, we're gonna slap a bull? 954 00:58:13,989 --> 00:58:17,938 Yep. Right on the ass. And then you're gonna wanna hightail it outta there. 955 00:58:17,938 --> 00:58:19,383 - Why? - Cause he can kill you. 956 00:58:19,383 --> 00:58:20,824 - Mm-hmm. - Perfect. 957 00:58:20,824 --> 00:58:23,224 Hey, man, I thought this was a drinking game. 958 00:58:23,224 --> 00:58:25,647 Yeah, you know, you got a lot of animals I would slap. 959 00:58:25,647 --> 00:58:28,914 But I, you know... A chicken, I'd slap a chicken or a goat, maybe. 960 00:58:28,914 --> 00:58:30,387 A ferret, I'd slap, you know? 961 00:58:30,387 --> 00:58:32,731 But I'm not... I'm not gonna slap a bull. 962 00:58:32,731 --> 00:58:35,644 Oh, come on, Doug. It was your idea. Get in there! 963 00:58:35,644 --> 00:58:38,087 I didn't know we had to slap so... Look at the nuts on that thing! 964 00:58:38,087 --> 00:58:38,870 Come on! 965 00:58:38,870 --> 00:58:41,335 - It's not safe, Woody. - It's not safe. You know what? 966 00:58:41,335 --> 00:58:44,058 - You snooze, you lose. I'm going. - You're gettin' ready to do that? 967 00:58:44,058 --> 00:58:45,634 - Yep! - Oh! 968 00:58:46,214 --> 00:58:49,540 You jackass. Go ahead, Woody. Hope you're wearing a cup. 969 00:58:50,719 --> 00:58:53,610 - Right on the ass. - He looks confident. 970 00:58:53,827 --> 00:58:54,948 Easy. 971 00:59:04,874 --> 00:59:05,804 Whoa! 972 00:59:06,308 --> 00:59:09,219 Come on, get back, now! 973 00:59:10,816 --> 00:59:12,164 Way to get back! 974 00:59:12,587 --> 00:59:15,307 I just slapped a big fat bull on the ass! 975 00:59:15,307 --> 00:59:17,350 That was awesome! Who's next? 976 00:59:18,020 --> 00:59:19,859 - Uh, Doug? - Doug? 977 00:59:19,859 --> 00:59:21,691 Yeah, no, that'd be you, yeah. 978 00:59:21,691 --> 00:59:23,161 Come on, Doug. Do it! 979 00:59:23,172 --> 00:59:24,730 You know, it's... it... you could... 980 00:59:24,730 --> 00:59:26,252 That's really an, um... 981 00:59:26,252 --> 00:59:28,107 Doug, go. 982 00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:30,530 - Come on, man! - Handle your business. 983 00:59:30,530 --> 00:59:32,207 - It was easy. - I'm not gonna... 984 00:59:32,207 --> 00:59:33,985 Yeah, come on! It's fun! 985 00:59:36,071 --> 00:59:37,411 Old days, Doug. Old days. 986 00:59:37,411 --> 00:59:38,892 All right, all right, I'm gonna slap a bull. 987 00:59:38,892 --> 00:59:42,400 - I'm gonna... slap that bull. - There you go. 988 00:59:42,478 --> 00:59:43,926 - That's my Doug! - There he goes. 989 00:59:45,581 --> 00:59:47,309 Just slap it right there on the rear end, huh? 990 00:59:47,734 --> 00:59:50,024 Right on the hind haunches. 991 00:59:51,888 --> 00:59:54,061 You know, this is so good for Doug. 992 00:59:54,061 --> 00:59:56,158 - Actually, it's good for all of us. - Yeah. 993 00:59:56,158 --> 00:59:58,083 Hey, Charlie, thanks for bringing us here, man. 994 00:59:58,234 --> 01:00:00,001 Sure. Glad we could help. 995 01:00:00,001 --> 01:00:02,513 Yeah, we never seen it done twice in a row. 996 01:00:02,513 --> 01:00:03,313 - Mm-mmm. - What? 997 01:00:03,313 --> 01:00:06,573 I-i-it'll be interesting to see how the bull takes being slapped 998 01:00:06,573 --> 01:00:07,939 - Mm-hmm. - ... now that he's alert. 999 01:00:07,939 --> 01:00:08,534 - Mm-hmm. 1000 01:00:09,492 --> 01:00:10,812 Alert?! 1001 01:00:14,310 --> 01:00:15,102 Get back! 1002 01:00:16,278 --> 01:00:17,905 - Hurry! - Hey! Come on. 1003 01:00:21,483 --> 01:00:22,711 Ow! Ow! 1004 01:00:24,540 --> 01:00:25,996 He coming back! 1005 01:00:28,868 --> 01:00:30,004 Bull! 1006 01:00:30,745 --> 01:00:33,335 He coming back! He coming back! Oh...! 1007 01:00:33,829 --> 01:00:36,957 Oh! Oh! Oh! Ah! He almost got me! 1008 01:00:36,957 --> 01:00:38,976 Come on! What's this bully want? Come on, bully! 1009 01:00:38,976 --> 01:00:42,748 You don't wanna use mockery! That never works! 1010 01:00:42,842 --> 01:00:44,405 Cowboy's in trouble! 1011 01:00:45,247 --> 01:00:47,168 Woody! Maybe if you just try to reason with... 1012 01:00:47,168 --> 01:00:49,767 - He's coming back for more! Look out! - Whoa! 1013 01:00:49,767 --> 01:00:53,215 He's more afraid of you than you are of him! 1014 01:00:53,682 --> 01:00:54,318 Watch out! 1015 01:00:54,425 --> 01:00:56,061 Watch out, watch out. Come on! 1016 01:00:57,086 --> 01:00:58,986 - Come on, let's go, let's go! - Oh! 1017 01:01:03,425 --> 01:01:04,316 What?! 1018 01:01:04,316 --> 01:01:08,701 - Yeah, man, this is living! - Yeah, we slapped a bull... in the ass! 1019 01:01:08,701 --> 01:01:09,815 - Yes, sir! - Yeah! 1020 01:01:10,866 --> 01:01:12,766 Yeah, you sure did. 1021 01:01:12,835 --> 01:01:15,665 - You sure did! - Hey, did y'all see my moves? 1022 01:01:15,665 --> 01:01:18,694 I was shaking and baking, just like the NFL, baby! 1023 01:01:19,275 --> 01:01:20,315 You hear what I'm sayin'? 1024 01:01:20,315 --> 01:01:23,614 I delivered it right to the end zo...! 1025 01:01:42,898 --> 01:01:44,868 - Hey, look at him. - He threw Bobby ten feet in the air. 1026 01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:45,635 It was awful. 1027 01:01:45,635 --> 01:01:47,861 Hey, man, that damn bull kept following me around. 1028 01:01:47,861 --> 01:01:51,437 - You think it was my cologne? - What are you wearing, uh, Rodeo Clown? 1029 01:01:51,445 --> 01:01:53,209 - Hold on... - So now you got jokes? 1030 01:01:54,310 --> 01:01:55,216 Hey, Woody, you know, 1031 01:01:55,216 --> 01:01:58,057 I apologize for saying you had ego issues earlier. All right? 1032 01:01:59,085 --> 01:02:00,965 I'm sorry I called you a pussy. 1033 01:02:02,241 --> 01:02:03,742 You didn't call me a pussy. 1034 01:02:04,496 --> 01:02:07,927 No, not... to your face, but that's what I was thinking! 1035 01:02:08,207 --> 01:02:11,357 Hey, we're just saying how much fun this trip's turned out to be. 1036 01:02:11,357 --> 01:02:14,592 I was so close this time! So close! 1037 01:02:14,592 --> 01:02:16,120 What's the matter, Dudley? 1038 01:02:16,340 --> 01:02:18,622 The waitress. I think she likes me. 1039 01:02:18,622 --> 01:02:20,405 - Good. - No, it's not good. 1040 01:02:20,405 --> 01:02:22,363 She told me to meet her on the dance floor. 1041 01:02:22,363 --> 01:02:23,892 - So? - So? Go dance. 1042 01:02:23,892 --> 01:02:27,185 I can't go on the dance floor. You know what I look like. 1043 01:02:27,497 --> 01:02:30,164 The music moves me, but it moves me ugly. 1044 01:02:30,164 --> 01:02:32,308 Well, do that... sprinkler thing you did at my wedding. 1045 01:02:32,308 --> 01:02:34,425 - Yeah, sprinkler. - No, I can't do the sprinkler. 1046 01:02:34,425 --> 01:02:36,166 I've gotta... I need to... 1047 01:02:38,841 --> 01:02:40,444 - No. - Yes. 1048 01:02:40,444 --> 01:02:41,575 I said no. 1049 01:02:42,391 --> 01:02:44,696 Oh, keep it simple, why don't we just, uh... 1050 01:02:44,824 --> 01:02:47,964 We'll do the lindy. All right? I'll be the guy, you be the girl. 1051 01:02:48,066 --> 01:02:50,789 There we go. And it's just... Remember? 1052 01:02:50,789 --> 01:02:52,707 - Okay. Yeah, right. - It's one and two 1053 01:02:52,707 --> 01:02:55,771 and three and four, and turn her around, 1054 01:02:55,771 --> 01:02:57,164 - and start over again. - Do it two times, and... 1055 01:02:57,164 --> 01:02:59,038 - Whatever you want. - I'll be the guy. 1056 01:02:59,038 --> 01:03:00,822 - Be the guy, I'll be the girl. - Ready? 1057 01:03:00,822 --> 01:03:04,627 And... one and two and three and four. 1058 01:03:04,627 --> 01:03:08,346 One and two and three and four, and turn me around... 1059 01:03:08,346 --> 01:03:11,031 - Oh, yeah! Now we're... - Oh, okay, that's enough. 1060 01:03:11,031 --> 01:03:13,025 - That's, uh, good lesson. - What? No, wait. Is that it? 1061 01:03:13,025 --> 01:03:16,080 - Yeah, that's enough. - That's just a pocket knife. 1062 01:03:18,134 --> 01:03:20,444 There she is. You're ready. Go. 1063 01:03:20,444 --> 01:03:22,551 - Yeah, let's do it. - I'm ready. 1064 01:03:22,551 --> 01:03:25,073 You're ready. Come on. Go. 1065 01:03:25,073 --> 01:03:26,471 Yeah! 1066 01:03:59,408 --> 01:04:01,731 - Whoo! - Check it out. 1067 01:04:12,426 --> 01:04:13,780 - Oh! - Ahh! 1068 01:04:14,052 --> 01:04:15,777 Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1069 01:04:18,784 --> 01:04:20,479 - He's panicking. - He's panicking. 1070 01:04:49,791 --> 01:04:54,506 - Hey! That's my phone! - Your minutes just expired. 1071 01:04:56,525 --> 01:04:59,484 - Baby! Baby, it's Murdock. - Tell me you found them. 1072 01:04:59,484 --> 01:05:02,231 We did. They're in Madrid. 1073 01:05:03,052 --> 01:05:05,554 Good! Good, good, good, good. I like Madrid! 1074 01:05:05,554 --> 01:05:07,594 The ground is soft enough to bury them in. 1075 01:05:07,594 --> 01:05:09,279 You want us to smack 'em around a little? 1076 01:05:09,279 --> 01:05:11,347 No! No! No, no, no, no, no. Listen to me! 1077 01:05:11,347 --> 01:05:13,348 You just make sure they stay there. Okay? 1078 01:05:13,348 --> 01:05:15,844 But do not touch them. They're mine. 1079 01:05:15,844 --> 01:05:17,974 I wanna feel their bones break under my fists. 1080 01:05:17,974 --> 01:05:19,962 Sounds like a good beating, Jack. 1081 01:05:20,167 --> 01:05:21,712 We'll leave 'em for you, then. 1082 01:05:23,303 --> 01:05:26,045 Anyone else want some Wild Hog for breakfast? 1083 01:05:26,045 --> 01:05:28,546 Yee-ha! 1084 01:05:33,507 --> 01:05:36,112 You expect me to pay for this piss-warm beer? 1085 01:05:36,532 --> 01:05:38,819 Here, you can have it back. 1086 01:05:43,023 --> 01:05:45,348 If we drank piss, we'd drink it cold! 1087 01:05:46,723 --> 01:05:47,785 What?! 1088 01:05:49,208 --> 01:05:50,860 Wait, guys, guys, guys, guys, look... 1089 01:05:50,860 --> 01:05:52,682 We don't drink piss! 1090 01:05:54,927 --> 01:05:55,815 Hey, hey. 1091 01:05:56,874 --> 01:05:59,320 Hey, Woody. Maybe it's time to give these guys 1092 01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:00,992 another one of your famous talks. 1093 01:06:00,992 --> 01:06:04,995 We just avoid them, guys, okay? We... I-I've handled this legally. We should just go. 1094 01:06:04,995 --> 01:06:07,568 You know what? I'm talking to these assholes this time, Woody. 1095 01:06:07,568 --> 01:06:08,906 You shouldn't have to do it twice. 1096 01:06:08,906 --> 01:06:09,385 No! 1097 01:06:09,385 --> 01:06:12,023 You took care of them the last time, and I just sat there. 1098 01:06:12,023 --> 01:06:15,573 But this time, you know what? They wanna see rage? Watch me. 1099 01:06:15,573 --> 01:06:17,482 - Bobby, Bob... - Whoa! 1100 01:06:18,288 --> 01:06:20,039 Hey, assholes! 1101 01:06:20,275 --> 01:06:23,182 You boys got a hell of a lot of trouble coming. You know that, right? 1102 01:06:23,182 --> 01:06:23,772 I'm gonna tell you again, 1103 01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:28,198 like my friend told your stupid-ass, cracker-ass, inbred buddies... 1104 01:06:28,198 --> 01:06:29,244 Did he just say "cracker"? 1105 01:06:29,244 --> 01:06:31,151 - "Cracker-ass." - Oh, perfect. 1106 01:06:31,151 --> 01:06:33,999 You touch us, and we'll sue your ass so hard, 1107 01:06:33,999 --> 01:06:36,779 you'll be taking out a loan just to piss. 1108 01:06:36,779 --> 01:06:40,660 Now, if that ain't clear enough for you, maybe this is: splash. 1109 01:06:40,660 --> 01:06:42,636 Huh? Got it? Did I get it in your mouth? 1110 01:06:42,636 --> 01:06:45,581 Splash! Splash! Splash! Did I get you on some of that? 1111 01:06:45,581 --> 01:06:47,502 Well, you crossed a little line right there. 1112 01:06:47,502 --> 01:06:50,349 No, no, no, no, no! It ain't worth it, man. 1113 01:06:50,428 --> 01:06:51,970 Jack'll kill us if we touch him. 1114 01:06:51,970 --> 01:06:53,905 - So just... - Yeah, break some of that up. 1115 01:06:53,905 --> 01:06:55,798 Got a little treat for you. 1116 01:06:56,028 --> 01:06:57,920 Huh? Break a little of that up. 1117 01:07:00,300 --> 01:07:02,750 Can you hear that? Can you hear that? 1118 01:07:03,285 --> 01:07:04,933 Uhh! Uhh! 1119 01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:06,733 Uhhh! 1120 01:07:06,733 --> 01:07:09,732 - That's not a discussion. - No, that's a lawsuit. 1121 01:07:11,979 --> 01:07:15,750 - Aw, look at that. - What?! 1122 01:07:17,850 --> 01:07:19,280 That's gonna stain. 1123 01:07:20,448 --> 01:07:23,107 You boys look like you belong on a couple of hot dogs. 1124 01:07:24,076 --> 01:07:25,040 Now... 1125 01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:29,256 if there's any other Del Fuegos that need that message repeated, 1126 01:07:29,256 --> 01:07:31,174 you tell 'em that the Wild Hogs... 1127 01:07:35,046 --> 01:07:36,891 are right here in Madrid, baby... 1128 01:07:37,162 --> 01:07:41,012 ready to explain it again. You got that? 1129 01:07:41,125 --> 01:07:43,031 I said: you got that?! 1130 01:07:44,290 --> 01:07:46,293 Sweet mother of mercy! 1131 01:07:46,979 --> 01:07:47,884 Huh?! 1132 01:07:51,066 --> 01:07:55,284 He don't want it. He don't want it. I'm hungry. 1133 01:07:56,629 --> 01:07:58,600 Let's evacuate! Come on! 1134 01:08:02,665 --> 01:08:05,933 - Beer, here! - Wild Hogs, I gotta tell you, 1135 01:08:05,933 --> 01:08:08,191 you don't know how many broken windows 1136 01:08:08,191 --> 01:08:09,944 you guys saved this town. 1137 01:08:09,944 --> 01:08:13,141 Sheriff, it's the least we could do for our new friends here in Madrid. 1138 01:08:13,141 --> 01:08:16,174 - Right, Bobby? - Wild Hogs! 1139 01:08:16,174 --> 01:08:18,394 Wild Hogs! 1140 01:08:18,394 --> 01:08:20,037 That's some good work you did there, Bobby. 1141 01:08:20,037 --> 01:08:21,562 Hey, thank you, sheriff. 1142 01:08:21,562 --> 01:08:24,485 Now look, you know, if you need somethin' done, just come to me. 1143 01:08:24,485 --> 01:08:27,629 You know what I mean? Cause I will beat shit down. 1144 01:08:27,629 --> 01:08:29,486 Let's say them peanuts are bothering you. 1145 01:08:29,486 --> 01:08:32,278 Huh? Huh? I don't wanna hear it! I don't wanna hear it! 1146 01:08:32,278 --> 01:08:34,652 What'd the sheriff tell you? What'd the town people tell you? 1147 01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:37,602 What the...? You know what I mean? 1148 01:08:37,787 --> 01:08:41,072 I ain't got no problem with it, sheriff. I ain't got... I got no problem with it. 1149 01:08:41,072 --> 01:08:43,877 Yeah. Yeah. That's all right. 1150 01:08:44,731 --> 01:08:47,693 This is great. Right, Woody? 1151 01:08:47,693 --> 01:08:50,953 - Huh? - You all right? 1152 01:08:54,006 --> 01:08:55,235 Yeah... 1153 01:08:56,058 --> 01:08:57,898 - I'm gonna call Kelly. - Yeah. 1154 01:08:57,966 --> 01:08:59,534 Remind her just what kind of a stud she married. 1155 01:08:59,534 --> 01:09:02,943 All right, yeah, you do that. 1156 01:09:06,074 --> 01:09:07,233 Hey, hey, Bobby! 1157 01:09:07,233 --> 01:09:09,631 Next time, I handle those bozos, eh? 1158 01:09:09,631 --> 01:09:12,354 The wrath of Dudley! Wild Hogs! 1159 01:09:12,354 --> 01:09:15,188 Wild Hogs! 1160 01:09:15,317 --> 01:09:17,537 Tequila, on the Wild Hogs. 1161 01:09:20,948 --> 01:09:23,199 In New Mexico. We actually slapped a bull. 1162 01:09:23,199 --> 01:09:25,121 Slapped it right on the ass. 1163 01:09:25,185 --> 01:09:27,215 Doug, you have no idea how turned on I am right now, 1164 01:09:27,215 --> 01:09:29,552 - but please just be careful. - Yeah, we're like celebrities here. 1165 01:09:29,552 --> 01:09:32,026 - Well, Bobby is. - Man, I crush them cashews. 1166 01:09:32,026 --> 01:09:34,134 - Macadamia nuts? - Oh, macadamia nut? 1167 01:09:34,134 --> 01:09:35,472 I'd kick it out the park. 1168 01:09:35,657 --> 01:09:38,130 Hey! And guess who dropped by to say hello. 1169 01:09:38,130 --> 01:09:40,959 Karen. Yeah, I think she's feeling a little lonely. 1170 01:09:40,959 --> 01:09:42,698 - Who's that? - Oh, it's-it's Doug. 1171 01:09:42,698 --> 01:09:44,735 He says they're all having a great time on the road trip. 1172 01:09:44,735 --> 01:09:46,784 Kelly, don't tell her about the... 1173 01:09:46,784 --> 01:09:48,431 Road trip?! 1174 01:09:50,676 --> 01:09:53,312 Hey! Dudley, don't you wanna come inside? 1175 01:09:53,312 --> 01:09:54,868 I'm fine. I'm just gonna, um, 1176 01:09:55,438 --> 01:09:57,864 sit out here for... a little while, I think. 1177 01:09:57,864 --> 01:10:00,502 Okay. You okay? 1178 01:10:00,809 --> 01:10:04,000 I'm fine. I'm... uh... 1179 01:10:07,292 --> 01:10:08,622 No, the truth is I'm not okay. 1180 01:10:08,622 --> 01:10:10,662 The truth is I like you a lot, Maggie. 1181 01:10:13,716 --> 01:10:15,533 I'm liking you a lot too. 1182 01:10:16,321 --> 01:10:19,584 See, that's... that's what I was afraid of. 1183 01:10:20,403 --> 01:10:23,061 That you would like me without knowing... 1184 01:10:23,228 --> 01:10:24,911 Without me telling you... 1185 01:10:28,585 --> 01:10:30,541 I'm not a cool biker, Maggie. 1186 01:10:31,668 --> 01:10:33,810 I'm not a cool anything. 1187 01:10:34,009 --> 01:10:38,122 I'm a computer programmer. I'm just a geek. 1188 01:10:39,024 --> 01:10:43,051 I'm sorry if you thought I was somebody that I'm not. 1189 01:10:49,756 --> 01:10:53,586 Mm-mm. You're not a... a geek. 1190 01:10:56,708 --> 01:10:59,435 - You're a lot of fun. - Hmm. 1191 01:11:01,975 --> 01:11:05,195 And you're... really honest. 1192 01:11:07,975 --> 01:11:10,435 You're really sweet. 1193 01:11:13,825 --> 01:11:16,866 You're the kind of guy that's hard to find. 1194 01:11:24,817 --> 01:11:26,017 Sorry. 1195 01:11:26,854 --> 01:11:29,189 Try again. One more time. 1196 01:11:34,077 --> 01:11:36,402 All right, Bobby! All gassed up! 1197 01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:41,911 - Whoo! All gassed up, baby! - All right. Let's get Dudley. Let's go! 1198 01:11:42,330 --> 01:11:43,957 - Clive, what's up? - Hey! My man! 1199 01:11:44,032 --> 01:11:45,905 What you know? No good? All right. Okay, baby. 1200 01:11:45,905 --> 01:11:48,844 Wait a minute. We're going to high altitudes. I think we should check our tire pressure. 1201 01:11:48,844 --> 01:11:50,499 Ho-ho, no, no, little buddy. 1202 01:11:50,499 --> 01:11:52,776 We gotta ride. We gotta get going, okay? 1203 01:11:52,776 --> 01:11:55,068 We got new experiences and new locations, right? 1204 01:11:55,068 --> 01:11:58,037 We can't leave, man. I'm like the mayor of this town. 1205 01:11:58,037 --> 01:12:01,022 - My people need me. - I said we're leaving! 1206 01:12:01,729 --> 01:12:03,012 Hey, guys. 1207 01:12:03,183 --> 01:12:04,985 We decided we wanna have breakfast here. 1208 01:12:04,985 --> 01:12:07,619 Come on! Hey, cowboy! Let's saddle up, okay? 1209 01:12:07,619 --> 01:12:09,807 You're burning daylight. Let's go! 1210 01:12:09,807 --> 01:12:11,797 You got a problem with hanging around this town a few more minutes? 1211 01:12:11,797 --> 01:12:14,090 Do I look like I have a problem? Do I? 1212 01:12:14,090 --> 01:12:15,049 - Yeah. - Yes. 1213 01:12:15,049 --> 01:12:17,603 Well, there you go again. Saying the weirdest shit. 1214 01:12:28,870 --> 01:12:31,075 Del Fuegos! Hide the bikes! Quick! 1215 01:12:31,075 --> 01:12:33,294 - Why, why, why? - Just do it! Trust me! 1216 01:12:33,442 --> 01:12:36,590 What's wrong? Why are we hiding? 1217 01:12:37,361 --> 01:12:39,554 - What's going on? - I don't know. 1218 01:12:50,694 --> 01:12:53,351 - Holy God! - Hey! Why are we hiding? 1219 01:12:53,351 --> 01:12:54,831 You took care of this already, didn't you, Woody? 1220 01:12:54,831 --> 01:12:56,411 No, not like you think, okay? 1221 01:12:56,411 --> 01:12:58,093 Well, what is it that I think? 1222 01:12:59,693 --> 01:13:01,434 I didn't really talk to them, okay? 1223 01:13:01,434 --> 01:13:03,680 - You serious? - I knew something was wrong. 1224 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:06,569 Dudley, you're like, uh, you're usually like "I'm all stupid, you know..." 1225 01:13:06,569 --> 01:13:07,623 - It's not Dudley's fault! - "... take my bike, 1226 01:13:07,623 --> 01:13:09,653 "give me a piece of junk, I'm happy." 1227 01:13:09,653 --> 01:13:11,949 You guys are all, "I'm scared. Let's get out of here." 1228 01:13:11,949 --> 01:13:12,600 - Whatever. - It's our fault? 1229 01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:15,318 Now, the Del Fuegos are all, "You're nothing, you know." 1230 01:13:15,318 --> 01:13:17,096 - "We're real bikers." - This isn't about us! 1231 01:13:17,096 --> 01:13:20,003 - What did you do to them? - What did you do, Woody? 1232 01:13:20,833 --> 01:13:21,808 I... 1233 01:13:23,817 --> 01:13:27,365 I... cut the gas lines of their bikes. 1234 01:13:27,706 --> 01:13:28,881 Then I... 1235 01:13:29,237 --> 01:13:32,202 - What? - Maybe blew up their bar. 1236 01:13:32,202 --> 01:13:34,345 - Oh! - Ah, perfect! 1237 01:13:34,345 --> 01:13:37,232 - Oh, we're dead! - Oh, come on! 1238 01:13:37,545 --> 01:13:39,324 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 1239 01:13:39,324 --> 01:13:42,348 That means they're just here to kill us. 1240 01:13:47,773 --> 01:13:49,063 No sign of 'em, Jack. 1241 01:13:53,385 --> 01:13:55,386 Wild Hogs! 1242 01:13:55,386 --> 01:13:58,555 Come out, come out, wherever you are! 1243 01:13:58,555 --> 01:14:01,166 I finally meet a girl, and now I'm gonna die. 1244 01:14:01,166 --> 01:14:03,016 So, all the mustard and the ketchup... 1245 01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:05,696 didn't help the situation, huh? 1246 01:14:05,907 --> 01:14:07,166 Ohhh! 1247 01:14:07,776 --> 01:14:11,440 Oh, you don't wanna come out? We'll wait! 1248 01:14:11,777 --> 01:14:14,387 There's only one road out of this town! 1249 01:14:14,387 --> 01:14:16,175 We own it! 1250 01:14:16,394 --> 01:14:20,079 Me and my boys will be in this lovely little diner here! 1251 01:14:20,167 --> 01:14:24,074 Get out of here! The longer you keep us waiting, 1252 01:14:24,625 --> 01:14:29,862 the worse it's gonna get for the peaceful town of Madrid! 1253 01:14:33,138 --> 01:14:37,580 Jack! I'm going to ask you not to. 1254 01:14:37,672 --> 01:14:38,787 What did you say, you little turd? 1255 01:14:39,096 --> 01:14:41,467 - What he say? - He called him a turd. 1256 01:14:44,439 --> 01:14:46,401 - Let's go! - Enjoy. 1257 01:14:47,633 --> 01:14:49,080 Okay, I made a mistake. 1258 01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:51,897 Woody, we could have just went home, man, and been fine. 1259 01:14:51,897 --> 01:14:54,124 Yeah, well, you know, maybe I don't have a home. 1260 01:14:54,777 --> 01:14:56,413 Claudia left me. 1261 01:14:57,258 --> 01:14:59,203 Three months ago she left. 1262 01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:01,703 Then I fell apart... lost my clients... 1263 01:15:01,703 --> 01:15:03,374 then I... lost my job. 1264 01:15:04,132 --> 01:15:06,336 Now I gotta sell the house and I gotta sell the car... 1265 01:15:06,506 --> 01:15:08,958 Can't even get the-the lawn raked, you know? 1266 01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:11,341 Now I just got the bike and I got you guys. That's all I got. 1267 01:15:11,341 --> 01:15:14,158 So this trip is all about you running away 1268 01:15:14,158 --> 01:15:16,926 from your miserable, screwed-up life? 1269 01:15:17,488 --> 01:15:21,713 A-a-a-and you screw up our lives? Asshole! 1270 01:15:21,950 --> 01:15:25,445 I'm sorry about your situation, Woody, but you're a lying asshole. 1271 01:15:25,445 --> 01:15:28,679 - Which is like an asshole's asshole. - Well, you know, I thought that... 1272 01:15:28,679 --> 01:15:32,218 I thought that maybe being a Wild Hog meant something. But clearly it doesn't. 1273 01:15:32,218 --> 01:15:35,220 You don't care about me! That's fine. I don't care. 1274 01:15:35,220 --> 01:15:37,285 It doesn't mean anything, Woody! 1275 01:15:37,285 --> 01:15:39,891 Remember, it's just a patch my wife made! 1276 01:15:39,968 --> 01:15:41,481 We should go somewhere to yell at each other 1277 01:15:41,481 --> 01:15:43,379 where there aren't people trying to kill us. 1278 01:15:49,176 --> 01:15:50,334 Hey, Maggie. 1279 01:15:52,740 --> 01:15:54,282 Thanks for letting us hide in your house. 1280 01:15:54,282 --> 01:15:55,472 Yeah, thanks. 1281 01:15:55,472 --> 01:15:58,524 It's kinda hard not to when you're screaming and kicking down the door. 1282 01:15:59,419 --> 01:16:02,362 Hey. You okay? 1283 01:16:02,362 --> 01:16:05,161 Mm. Yeah. Diner's the only thing I have. 1284 01:16:05,161 --> 01:16:06,947 If that gets destroyed, it's... 1285 01:16:09,628 --> 01:16:11,703 But you're safe. You guys are safe. 1286 01:16:11,703 --> 01:16:13,449 Now just stay put. 1287 01:16:13,556 --> 01:16:16,110 Nobody has to go out there and be a hero. 1288 01:16:16,110 --> 01:16:17,607 You got that right. 1289 01:16:17,607 --> 01:16:19,230 You guys aren't going out there? 1290 01:16:19,230 --> 01:16:21,328 You're the sheriff. Why don't you go out there? 1291 01:16:21,328 --> 01:16:24,510 Like sheriff of a town of 500 people, 1292 01:16:24,645 --> 01:16:27,680 I got my qualification from a course on the Internet. 1293 01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:30,339 For arms training, they just told us to play Doom. 1294 01:16:30,409 --> 01:16:32,187 I say we just wait it out, 1295 01:16:32,451 --> 01:16:34,287 they'll lose interest, and they'll go. 1296 01:16:34,287 --> 01:16:36,891 Yeah, I agree. Wait it out. 1297 01:16:37,849 --> 01:16:41,121 Hey. Where's Dudley? 1298 01:16:49,037 --> 01:16:50,521 Oh, Dudley, don't do that. 1299 01:16:55,527 --> 01:16:57,099 All right, you Del Fuegos... 1300 01:17:04,485 --> 01:17:05,305 Hey! 1301 01:17:09,023 --> 01:17:10,216 Let's end this. 1302 01:17:10,216 --> 01:17:13,083 At least one of you came out to face the music. 1303 01:17:13,561 --> 01:17:16,303 Very brave. But stupid. 1304 01:17:16,303 --> 01:17:18,478 I didn't come to face any music. 1305 01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:21,793 I came here to stop you fellas from hurting this diner, 1306 01:17:22,286 --> 01:17:25,564 which the love of my life just happens to own. 1307 01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:31,102 So, if it's gotta get ugly... I'll give you ugly. 1308 01:17:38,369 --> 01:17:40,110 It slipped out of my glove. 1309 01:17:40,277 --> 01:17:43,646 Hey! Is it okay if I tell people you guys did that? 1310 01:17:43,646 --> 01:17:45,655 I... I should be getting back. It's late. 1311 01:17:45,655 --> 01:17:48,242 The guys are gonna be worrying. We'll talk later. 1312 01:17:49,295 --> 01:17:51,642 Guys! Guys! 1313 01:17:51,642 --> 01:17:54,118 No, no. You don't get to hide out here with us. 1314 01:17:54,118 --> 01:17:57,254 You get to hide outside with those crazy people that wanna kill us. 1315 01:17:57,254 --> 01:18:00,109 - They got Dudley. Look out the window. - What? 1316 01:18:00,109 --> 01:18:03,260 All right, this is what's gonna happen, Wild Hogs! 1317 01:18:03,730 --> 01:18:08,021 You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of 10,000 dollars! 1318 01:18:08,021 --> 01:18:11,829 Plus another 40,000 to rebuild the bar! 1319 01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:14,266 And if you wanna see your friend alive again, 1320 01:18:14,266 --> 01:18:16,226 do not call the cops! 1321 01:18:16,226 --> 01:18:18,876 If you're not here in a half an hour to settle this, 1322 01:18:19,192 --> 01:18:22,209 I'm gonna take the fine out on your friend's legs! 1323 01:18:22,209 --> 01:18:25,217 I'm gonna break 'em with this tire iron! 1324 01:18:25,217 --> 01:18:27,152 Don't bring the money! 1325 01:18:27,152 --> 01:18:30,809 I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs! 1326 01:18:30,809 --> 01:18:33,840 Fine! I'll break his hands! 1327 01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:35,588 - Yeah! - Damn it. 1328 01:18:35,588 --> 01:18:37,124 Bring the money! 1329 01:18:37,124 --> 01:18:40,017 Definitely! Definitely bring money! 1330 01:18:40,017 --> 01:18:43,024 - Get him out of here! - Now! We need money! 1331 01:18:45,978 --> 01:18:49,119 Dudley went there to save the diner, now they're gonna break his hands. 1332 01:18:49,119 --> 01:18:51,910 No, they're not. Cause we're gonna... We're gonna get him back. 1333 01:18:51,910 --> 01:18:54,850 I called in the highway patrol. They're gonna be here in two hours. 1334 01:18:54,850 --> 01:18:59,016 Hey, man. They said no cops, or else they gonna take it out on Dudley. 1335 01:18:59,016 --> 01:19:01,928 We don't wanna piss 'em off until we get him out of their hands. 1336 01:19:01,928 --> 01:19:04,719 Well, you know, he's-he's not exactly in their hands now, okay? 1337 01:19:04,719 --> 01:19:06,060 Why not? He was sitting right... 1338 01:19:06,489 --> 01:19:10,241 - What the...? - Get me down! 1339 01:19:11,127 --> 01:19:13,079 Why? You look good up there! 1340 01:19:13,079 --> 01:19:15,442 You look like a piņata with red hair! 1341 01:19:16,741 --> 01:19:20,131 I think... I think I'm gonna keep you up there till your buddies come! 1342 01:19:20,131 --> 01:19:22,730 And then if they don't, I'm gonna bust you open 1343 01:19:22,730 --> 01:19:24,826 and we're gonna see what falls out! 1344 01:19:26,820 --> 01:19:29,695 Bobby! Woody! Doug! 1345 01:19:29,764 --> 01:19:31,321 - What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 1346 01:19:31,321 --> 01:19:33,599 I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go get 'im. 1347 01:19:34,546 --> 01:19:36,296 There you go talking crazy again. 1348 01:19:36,296 --> 01:19:39,133 - They will kill you. - No, I'm not talking crazy. 1349 01:19:39,775 --> 01:19:42,339 I have three people left in my life that I care about, 1350 01:19:42,565 --> 01:19:44,532 and I let you guys down. 1351 01:19:44,687 --> 01:19:46,503 Nah. I'd rather go out there and make it go right 1352 01:19:47,042 --> 01:19:50,319 and die doing it than be the asshole that screwed everything up. 1353 01:19:50,455 --> 01:19:52,255 Hey, hey, Woody, Woody, where you going? 1354 01:20:00,013 --> 01:20:01,124 Woody! 1355 01:20:02,973 --> 01:20:05,333 Don't you know hogs run in packs, baby? 1356 01:20:08,437 --> 01:20:09,926 We're still Wild Hogs? 1357 01:20:10,993 --> 01:20:13,120 - Wild Hogs, man. - Wild Hogs. 1358 01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:14,319 All right, here's how it's gotta go. 1359 01:20:14,750 --> 01:20:16,932 I gotta get up to 30 miles an hour on a short distance. 1360 01:20:16,932 --> 01:20:18,510 It's only duct tape holding that rope out there. 1361 01:20:18,510 --> 01:20:21,243 I'll get him by the trunk and I'll grab 'im, I'll save Dudley. 1362 01:20:21,243 --> 01:20:22,711 You'll need a distraction. 1363 01:20:23,197 --> 01:20:26,850 Together, guys. Together we can do this. I'm ready. I'm ready. 1364 01:20:27,106 --> 01:20:28,292 I'm ready. 1365 01:20:28,934 --> 01:20:30,297 - What? - What's wrong? 1366 01:20:30,717 --> 01:20:32,816 - It's gonna sound kind of stupid. - What? 1367 01:20:32,816 --> 01:20:35,144 Well, before I go, I need one of you to yell, 1368 01:20:35,898 --> 01:20:38,741 "It's the Golden Knight!" You know, it helps me get in the mood. 1369 01:20:39,341 --> 01:20:40,597 Yeah, baby! 1370 01:20:40,597 --> 01:20:41,972 - It helps motivate me. - He's back! 1371 01:20:43,756 --> 01:20:47,022 It's the Golden Knight... 1372 01:20:47,041 --> 01:20:48,755 With gusto, though. 1373 01:20:57,018 --> 01:20:58,968 - Now? - Now! 1374 01:20:59,387 --> 01:21:01,774 Holy crap, it's the Golden Knight! 1375 01:21:10,644 --> 01:21:13,082 Clear 'em out, boys! Clear 'em out! 1376 01:21:13,082 --> 01:21:16,125 Del Fuego! Come out and play, baby! 1377 01:21:16,125 --> 01:21:18,907 All day, baby! All day! 1378 01:21:18,907 --> 01:21:21,626 Thirty-five, thirty-five, exactly thirty-five! 1379 01:21:23,671 --> 01:21:25,910 Wild Hogs, baby! Wild Hogs! 1380 01:21:28,352 --> 01:21:29,442 Okay, guys, slow down. You're gonna... 1381 01:21:31,749 --> 01:21:34,701 Oh, no, no, no... Ooh... Whoa! 1382 01:21:34,701 --> 01:21:36,195 Du-Dud-Dudley! 1383 01:21:37,366 --> 01:21:40,528 - Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho... - All right, I gotcha. I gotcha. 1384 01:21:41,506 --> 01:21:45,093 - You having fun? - That was amazing! 1385 01:21:45,093 --> 01:21:47,400 The tape was supposed to break! 1386 01:21:50,456 --> 01:21:52,626 - Oh... - There it goes. 1387 01:21:52,940 --> 01:21:55,543 - Is there a problem? - Come on. Come on! 1388 01:21:55,843 --> 01:21:57,443 You burned down Damien's bar, 1389 01:21:57,443 --> 01:22:00,024 you pull this little circus act out here, 1390 01:22:00,142 --> 01:22:03,105 now you're gonna see what it's like when you mess with us. 1391 01:22:03,105 --> 01:22:05,628 - That's right. - Burn down the diner! 1392 01:22:05,628 --> 01:22:07,134 - Torch it! - Look, look... 1393 01:22:07,134 --> 01:22:08,266 We can come up with the money, 1394 01:22:08,266 --> 01:22:10,073 I got a little bit in my savings. 1395 01:22:10,073 --> 01:22:13,391 I did it. I cut the fuel lines. 1396 01:22:13,391 --> 01:22:15,783 Let me deal with it. Let these guys go. 1397 01:22:15,983 --> 01:22:19,665 No! We're not gonna pay any money and we're not calling the cops. 1398 01:22:21,420 --> 01:22:23,311 We're gonna stand here and fight. 1399 01:22:25,655 --> 01:22:27,457 You don't want our money. 1400 01:22:27,457 --> 01:22:29,420 What do you need money for? You're free. 1401 01:22:29,463 --> 01:22:31,559 You know, you're just here to... get what you get 1402 01:22:31,559 --> 01:22:33,181 from the townspeople all the time, fear, 1403 01:22:33,181 --> 01:22:36,247 because you're scary people. People'll do anything to stay safe, 1404 01:22:36,247 --> 01:22:38,197 including give up the biggest part of their lives, their adventure. 1405 01:22:38,527 --> 01:22:43,083 I say let's have a little adventure, huh? Let's fight. Let's dance, huh? 1406 01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:44,936 - Let's do it! - Enough's enough. 1407 01:22:45,073 --> 01:22:48,004 - Let's kick some Del Taco ass. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1408 01:22:48,004 --> 01:22:50,549 Do either of you guys have a knife or scissors? 1409 01:22:51,032 --> 01:22:51,821 A nail clipper? 1410 01:22:51,821 --> 01:22:53,740 All right, so how do we do this? 1411 01:22:53,740 --> 01:22:56,102 Like high school? A little circle, huh? 1412 01:22:57,333 --> 01:23:00,441 Murdock, Red, Tiny. Four on four. 1413 01:23:01,544 --> 01:23:03,920 - Body or face, pretty boy? - Not the face. 1414 01:23:05,727 --> 01:23:06,857 Ow! 1415 01:23:18,453 --> 01:23:20,612 - I'll take him. - Thank you! 1416 01:23:32,406 --> 01:23:34,555 - Trade back! Trade back. - I got him. 1417 01:23:34,555 --> 01:23:36,874 It's not really fair, you know. I'm kinda tied up. 1418 01:23:39,597 --> 01:23:43,062 You ever see a hook off the jab? Huh? Bring it! 1419 01:23:50,823 --> 01:23:52,126 Let's have a little fun, baby. 1420 01:23:52,809 --> 01:23:53,898 Let's play. 1421 01:23:54,962 --> 01:23:56,250 Golden Glove, baby. 1422 01:24:00,444 --> 01:24:02,925 Ow! Ow! You hit my helmet. 1423 01:24:02,925 --> 01:24:04,353 Are you okay, man? You hurt your hand? 1424 01:24:04,353 --> 01:24:05,888 That actually really hurt. 1425 01:24:11,787 --> 01:24:14,002 Good shot! Get off! 1426 01:24:15,410 --> 01:24:17,602 Uh-oh, no, no, no, no, don't... 1427 01:24:18,641 --> 01:24:19,916 - Throw sand! - What? 1428 01:24:19,916 --> 01:24:21,859 - Throw sand! - Yeah... 1429 01:24:23,260 --> 01:24:24,708 I didn't mean to aim there... 1430 01:24:27,509 --> 01:24:28,908 Whoo! Nice... 1431 01:24:35,625 --> 01:24:38,378 Damn! I knocked out my boy! 1432 01:24:38,678 --> 01:24:40,653 Come on. You all right? 1433 01:24:49,378 --> 01:24:50,800 Well, that was easy. 1434 01:24:54,321 --> 01:24:55,957 - Come on. - Burn down the diner! 1435 01:24:55,957 --> 01:24:59,034 - Yeah! - Come on! 1436 01:24:59,460 --> 01:25:01,944 - Oh, good. You want some more? - I got nothing to lose. 1437 01:25:02,130 --> 01:25:06,055 I got no wife. No job. No house. 1438 01:25:06,055 --> 01:25:09,375 I got my friends, though. I got them till the end. 1439 01:25:10,571 --> 01:25:12,680 - Oh! - That's great! 1440 01:25:12,946 --> 01:25:15,353 You know, you know what's so stupid about this? 1441 01:25:15,353 --> 01:25:18,255 We wanted to be like you guys. You know, cause what I see here 1442 01:25:18,255 --> 01:25:19,760 is just a bunch of grown men 1443 01:25:19,760 --> 01:25:24,161 whose biggest decision in life is "Uh, sleeveless or, uh... sleeveless?" 1444 01:25:24,161 --> 01:25:27,097 "Do I shit behind the rock, or over there by that bush?" 1445 01:25:27,589 --> 01:25:29,746 Grown men. This is pathetic. 1446 01:25:29,746 --> 01:25:31,450 You go ahead and kick our ass, okay? 1447 01:25:31,450 --> 01:25:34,587 Because we're not the posers. You guys are the posers. 1448 01:25:34,739 --> 01:25:35,894 Ow! 1449 01:25:37,226 --> 01:25:41,512 Hey! Do yourselves a favor and stay down! 1450 01:25:42,036 --> 01:25:44,056 Twenty-five years of being yelled at. 1451 01:25:44,056 --> 01:25:45,073 Man, I ain't taking this... 1452 01:25:48,707 --> 01:25:52,573 And I got a girlfriend. Punch that out of me, bitches. 1453 01:26:00,955 --> 01:26:02,404 - Oh. - Are we doing this? 1454 01:26:06,190 --> 01:26:07,907 - Let's do it. - Yeah. 1455 01:26:08,052 --> 01:26:08,978 Come on. 1456 01:26:14,725 --> 01:26:15,831 Come on. 1457 01:26:25,648 --> 01:26:27,272 You're kiddin' me, right? 1458 01:26:31,592 --> 01:26:33,315 What's wrong with you guys? 1459 01:26:35,119 --> 01:26:37,296 All right! You wanna keep goin'? 1460 01:26:37,858 --> 01:26:39,845 I don't think so. 1461 01:26:39,845 --> 01:26:44,924 You're done, Jack. You Del Fuegos! You are done! 1462 01:26:44,924 --> 01:26:47,270 And we want you out of our town, now. 1463 01:26:47,270 --> 01:26:50,094 - And who's "we"? - All of us. 1464 01:26:53,675 --> 01:26:56,540 If four people could stand up to a gang of bikers, 1465 01:26:56,540 --> 01:26:58,743 I guess we can too! 1466 01:26:58,743 --> 01:27:01,680 Well, we'll fight you and the Children of the Corn too. 1467 01:27:01,680 --> 01:27:06,365 Cause the Del Fuegos don't back down! This is our highway. 1468 01:27:06,365 --> 01:27:08,967 And we're gonna defend our highway. 1469 01:27:08,967 --> 01:27:11,034 Wrong, Jack. 1470 01:27:12,760 --> 01:27:15,887 - It's my highway. - Blade. 1471 01:27:17,150 --> 01:27:18,511 Hi, Maggie. 1472 01:27:20,662 --> 01:27:24,984 - Hmm. Bar burned down. - Yeah. 1473 01:27:25,382 --> 01:27:28,145 These posers, these four posers right here. 1474 01:27:28,145 --> 01:27:31,986 Four guys stand off 50 bikers... 1475 01:27:33,243 --> 01:27:35,760 - and they're the posers? - Yeah. 1476 01:27:35,760 --> 01:27:37,481 They burned down the bar that you built. 1477 01:27:37,481 --> 01:27:38,944 It was a shithole. 1478 01:27:38,944 --> 01:27:41,207 I insured it for twice what it was worth. 1479 01:27:41,207 --> 01:27:43,189 The guys did me a favor. 1480 01:27:43,189 --> 01:27:45,836 We were just following the code that you wrote. 1481 01:27:45,836 --> 01:27:48,236 Why do you think I don't wear the colors, Jack? 1482 01:27:48,236 --> 01:27:50,103 Why do you think I ride alone? 1483 01:27:50,103 --> 01:27:52,299 Cause you don't know about it anymore. 1484 01:27:52,299 --> 01:27:55,355 I think you all oughta get back on your bikes and go out and ride the highway 1485 01:27:55,587 --> 01:27:58,508 until you remember what riding's all about. 1486 01:27:59,840 --> 01:28:01,569 Let it go, Jack. 1487 01:28:13,961 --> 01:28:19,271 - Okay, pop. - Takes after his mom. 1488 01:28:29,481 --> 01:28:32,288 Man, that was like level 12 of Doom. 1489 01:28:33,804 --> 01:28:35,118 The posers. 1490 01:28:36,143 --> 01:28:37,906 - What do you guys call yourselves? - I'm Woody. 1491 01:28:37,906 --> 01:28:38,464 - I'm Bobby. - I'm Doug. 1492 01:28:38,464 --> 01:28:40,840 No, no, no. You all riding together? 1493 01:28:40,840 --> 01:28:43,387 - What you, what you... - Hogs! Wild Hogs. 1494 01:28:43,387 --> 01:28:45,385 - Wild... - Yeah, Wild Hogs. 1495 01:28:46,692 --> 01:28:50,900 Well, Wild Hogs, ride hard or stay home. 1496 01:28:50,900 --> 01:28:54,877 - Yeah. - Oh, guys? Lose the watches. 1497 01:28:57,625 --> 01:28:59,338 - Freedom, baby. - We did it, babe. 1498 01:29:00,444 --> 01:29:02,672 All day. All day. 1499 01:29:02,672 --> 01:29:06,482 Hey! Hey! We're the Wild Hogs! The saga continues! 1500 01:29:21,854 --> 01:29:22,965 What the hell? 1501 01:29:23,490 --> 01:29:26,204 What in the world is going on around here? 1502 01:29:27,267 --> 01:29:30,799 Plumbing conference? Have you lost your mind? 1503 01:29:30,799 --> 01:29:31,890 Shut up, Doug! 1504 01:29:32,511 --> 01:29:35,510 Bobby, who are these people, and where are we at? 1505 01:29:35,510 --> 01:29:39,273 Well, obviously, I'm not at a... plumbing conference in Cleveland, baby. 1506 01:29:39,273 --> 01:29:40,042 Oh, really? 1507 01:29:40,042 --> 01:29:42,221 Baby, I've been fighting bikers all day, 1508 01:29:42,571 --> 01:29:44,973 this little Chinese dude bust my nose, 1509 01:29:44,973 --> 01:29:46,694 I've been slapping bulls... 1510 01:29:46,694 --> 01:29:50,332 Bobby, I don't give a damn about you fightin' no bulls! 1511 01:29:50,392 --> 01:29:52,756 Now, I want you to get your ass in that van 1512 01:29:52,756 --> 01:29:53,972 because we are going home. 1513 01:29:53,972 --> 01:29:55,462 I cannot believe that you'd deceive me like this! 1514 01:29:55,462 --> 01:29:57,635 - Karen... - No, Bobby, I want... 1515 01:29:57,635 --> 01:29:58,884 Karen! 1516 01:30:00,211 --> 01:30:01,535 Slow your roll. 1517 01:30:02,730 --> 01:30:05,241 Look, baby, I love you. Okay? 1518 01:30:05,449 --> 01:30:07,295 But I'm tired of being talked at. 1519 01:30:07,295 --> 01:30:09,783 I don't talk at you, Bobby! 1520 01:30:09,783 --> 01:30:11,906 - Bobby, I talk... - Karen, look at what you're doin' now. 1521 01:30:11,947 --> 01:30:14,227 Come on. You feel me? 1522 01:30:14,628 --> 01:30:17,062 Okay, baby, all right, all right, I feel you. 1523 01:30:17,062 --> 01:30:19,339 Right now, I just need you to show me some love. 1524 01:30:19,661 --> 01:30:21,379 Just a little bit o' love. 1525 01:30:22,859 --> 01:30:24,959 Mmm... 1526 01:30:27,674 --> 01:30:29,369 That's scrumptious. 1527 01:30:29,533 --> 01:30:31,109 You seriously got in a fight with bikers? 1528 01:30:31,109 --> 01:30:33,690 Yeah, a whole bunch of 'em. We-we-we chased 'em out of town! 1529 01:30:33,690 --> 01:30:34,396 There was 50 of them. 1530 01:30:34,396 --> 01:30:36,021 - It was... it was something. - Fifty? 1531 01:30:36,021 --> 01:30:38,882 I gotta tell the guys about this. That is awesome! 1532 01:30:38,882 --> 01:30:39,896 I'll be right back. 1533 01:30:41,201 --> 01:30:42,486 Doug, are you sure you're okay? 1534 01:30:43,455 --> 01:30:45,705 - Ow, ow, ow, ow... - Oh, your ribs, your ribs. 1535 01:30:45,705 --> 01:30:47,658 - No, no, you're standing on my foot! - Oh, sorry! 1536 01:30:48,055 --> 01:30:49,291 So I'll see you when I get back? 1537 01:30:49,291 --> 01:30:51,178 - Mm-hmm. - All right? 1538 01:30:51,178 --> 01:30:54,599 - Mmm. I love you. - I love you too, baby. 1539 01:30:54,599 --> 01:30:55,752 All right. 1540 01:31:02,067 --> 01:31:05,865 - Get a room, baby. - Can we? Do we have time? 1541 01:31:06,657 --> 01:31:10,168 - When you coming back through? - A biker never knows. 1542 01:31:10,168 --> 01:31:11,396 Maybe a week. 1543 01:31:12,416 --> 01:31:13,910 Maybe a month. 1544 01:31:14,933 --> 01:31:17,529 Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, 1545 01:31:17,529 --> 01:31:20,395 give or take... six minutes for wind resistance. 1546 01:31:24,736 --> 01:31:27,734 Well, I sure do wish you guys would stick around. 1547 01:31:27,734 --> 01:31:30,133 We got some riding to do, sheriff. But thanks anyway. 1548 01:31:30,133 --> 01:31:31,657 Well, I'll just say it: 1549 01:31:31,657 --> 01:31:33,855 You fellas were a blessing to this place. 1550 01:31:33,855 --> 01:31:36,099 I mean, I'm not gonna get all emotional 1551 01:31:36,099 --> 01:31:38,524 like old hamburger head over here always... 1552 01:31:40,569 --> 01:31:42,411 What did you just call me? 1553 01:31:42,776 --> 01:31:45,210 Uh, see, when we walked up, you were on my... 1554 01:31:45,210 --> 01:31:48,334 You son of a bitch! 1555 01:31:48,942 --> 01:31:51,843 Come on, Buck, I swear. That's the first time! 1556 01:31:51,843 --> 01:31:54,461 - I don't wanna hear it! - Well, honestly, you can't. 1557 01:31:54,461 --> 01:31:55,024 I heard that. 1558 01:31:56,023 --> 01:31:59,168 - Ready to ride, guys? - Ready to ride, baby. 1559 01:31:59,168 --> 01:32:01,568 Let's see what the West Coast has to offer. 1560 01:32:01,715 --> 01:32:03,585 Think there'll be any trouble along the way? 1561 01:32:03,585 --> 01:32:07,714 - Oh, I hope so. - Yeah, I like the way you think. 1562 01:32:07,953 --> 01:32:09,987 I like the way you think. 1563 01:32:26,995 --> 01:32:29,603 I'm okay! I just hurt my face. 1564 01:33:22,178 --> 01:33:23,582 Wow! 1565 01:33:25,632 --> 01:33:28,012 - Hey, we did it! - Woo-hoo! 1566 01:33:28,012 --> 01:33:29,314 Do you believe this? 1567 01:33:34,491 --> 01:33:36,758 - Hello! - Whoa, my goodness. 1568 01:33:36,758 --> 01:33:39,909 Whoa, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh! Whoa! 1569 01:33:39,980 --> 01:33:41,536 Whoa! Ah! 1570 01:33:44,238 --> 01:33:45,907 Sorry, sorry. 1571 01:33:47,350 --> 01:33:50,125 Two thousand miles, but I finally got it. 1572 01:33:50,125 --> 01:33:51,880 'Bout time, rookie! 1573 01:33:54,604 --> 01:33:58,236 - Lot of distractions. - California, baby! 1574 01:34:17,516 --> 01:34:19,668 Welcome back to Extreme Makeover Home Edition. 1575 01:34:19,668 --> 01:34:21,697 Now, we've met some incredible families, 1576 01:34:22,125 --> 01:34:24,014 but this could be the saddest story we've... 1577 01:34:24,423 --> 01:34:25,790 We've ever seen. 1578 01:34:25,790 --> 01:34:28,239 This family has lost everything. 1579 01:34:28,695 --> 01:34:31,276 They've lost their home, they've lost their history, 1580 01:34:31,276 --> 01:34:33,042 they've lost their heritage. 1581 01:34:33,533 --> 01:34:35,727 But this week, we've done something about that. 1582 01:34:35,727 --> 01:34:39,048 So let's welcome back... the Del Fuego family! 1583 01:34:45,038 --> 01:34:46,702 Jack, two months ago, man, 1584 01:34:46,702 --> 01:34:48,703 you lost the only home you ever knew. 1585 01:34:51,411 --> 01:34:51,431 But thanks to a phone call from your friends, the Wild Hogs, 1586 01:34:51,852 --> 01:34:52,714 we built you a new one. 1587 01:34:52,988 --> 01:34:54,517 That's so great. 1588 01:34:54,517 --> 01:34:58,050 They... He didn't have to mention us. That's... Oh, man. 1589 01:34:58,050 --> 01:34:59,159 So you guys know what to say? 1590 01:34:59,159 --> 01:35:03,324 - Say it with me! - Bus driver, move that bus! 1591 01:35:08,368 --> 01:35:09,503 Oh! 1592 01:35:10,840 --> 01:35:11,821 Wow! 1593 01:35:18,722 --> 01:35:21,503 You know, usually we have some pretty emotional reactions, 1594 01:35:21,503 --> 01:35:24,697 but, uh, Jack, you know, wow. 1595 01:35:25,518 --> 01:35:28,849 I'm not sure... what was going on with Jack. 1596 01:35:28,849 --> 01:35:30,216 Oh... 1597 01:35:30,518 --> 01:35:32,948 Thanks to our friends at Sears and local breweries, 1598 01:35:32,948 --> 01:35:37,413 who provided state-of-the-art taps and a year's supply of free beer! 1599 01:35:41,016 --> 01:35:44,105 Oh, my God! That is so cool! 1600 01:35:44,105 --> 01:35:45,323 That is so cool! 1601 01:35:45,323 --> 01:35:48,408 Cool as a parking lot made out of real leather? 1602 01:35:48,408 --> 01:35:50,450 - Oh! - That is so rad! 1603 01:35:50,450 --> 01:35:52,253 That is so rad! 1604 01:35:56,157 --> 01:35:59,487 The bar was... my home. When it went down, 1605 01:35:59,487 --> 01:36:03,108 I-I felt... homeless. 1606 01:36:03,729 --> 01:36:07,913 Del Fuegos, go check out your new home! 1607 01:36:13,174 --> 01:36:15,174 Here's the thing. You're talking about a bunch of guys 1608 01:36:15,174 --> 01:36:18,460 that grew up in broken homes. They really didn't even have a home. 1609 01:36:18,460 --> 01:36:21,299 And now they've got one. With a bidet in it. 1610 01:36:21,498 --> 01:36:22,853 Thank you! 1611 01:36:28,418 --> 01:36:31,642 We love our bar. Thanks, America! 1612 01:36:32,402 --> 01:36:33,860 - Yeah! - Whoo! 1613 01:36:33,860 --> 01:36:35,767 Wild Hogs!