[theme music]
[lightning crashing]
[engine revving]
[music on stereo]
[engine revving]
[Clark] Where's my greatest hits of the sixties?
I just listened to it last week.
[Mary] 'Did you leave it at home?'
[horn honks]
[Clark] 'Whoa! Jesus!'
'Whoa.'
Oh!
[exhales sharply] Oh!
Huh.
Sorry. Sorry.
Too much lipstick?
[laughs]
Oh, man. Good girl, Sally.
- Good girl. - Mmm. Oh.
So much for our pristine wilderness experience.
Yeah, well, I told you this is an adventure
which basically is a, a vacation with meat on it.
And I want you to have your meat, darling, I really do.
I was just hoping for some room service and a good wine.
Wha-what is it with you and these skinny little
white boy singers you like so much?
Married one, didn't I?
Yeah, but I don't sing that new crap
in the shower, do I, huh?
Dad always said the great music died..
[both] The day they dreamed up disco.
- That's right. - Mm-hm.
I.. I-I-I could lick that off.
And keep both eyes on the road?
- I don't think so. - Hm.
I'm still jiggy from last night.
You know what I mean?
[laughs]
Piney wood, starry skies.
It's just.. Just the right timing
to make a baby, I think.
Yeah.
We both keep singing that song, huh?
Mm-hmm.
[instrumental music]
[Mary] 'Here we are.'
Ah, boy. Bacon, eggs, homemade biscuits.
[laughs]
I can eat this way every morning for the rest of my life.
Until the day you die, next year.
[Clark] 'Ah. This is it.'
'This is the real Oregon, baby.'
'Oh, yeah.'
If the rumors are true
and I take a transfer to Jersey
at least we'll have this trip, huh?
Mm-hmm.
[boy screams]
Oh!
[boy screams]
[laughs]
So glad we got a taste of the wildlife.
[boy laughs]
[boy #1] 'Get down!'
[indistinct chattering]
'Whoa-whoa!'
Hey, you know, we could take a shortcut to Toketee Falls.
Clark.
Yeah, we take 58 two miles east
and go south on this county road.
- Huh? - Oh, that looks pretty empty.
Think the word is wilderness
as in no gas stations, no restrooms
no motels with soft beds.
No, no, we'll find one. We'll find one. Here.
Just cut across this highway here.
Can't be much further to Toketee.
'See?'
Eh?
It's all about the roads with no numbers, man.
Blaze a trail.
Feel the land.
[laughs] Yeah, like we're pioneer stock.
You're a computer programmer, Clark.
That's what I do, honey.
That's not what I am.
Sorry, you come from a long line of hunter-gatherers.
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
[music continues]
[coins clinking]
[music continues]
[gasps]
Just some guy's body
broken for you and for many.
Oh, we're talking mass culture
sugar muffin.
[gasps]
[screams]
[laughs]
[maniacal laugh]
[boy screams]
[Clark] 'Ah, you kidding me?'
Now what?
Clark, I gave up teaching summer school for this.
- Please tell me we're not lost. - We're not lost.
We're just in mid-process.
'I've never seen a road marked like that.'
Where are the phone lines?
[birds chirping]
I don't know.
You don't know?
Uh, no, I haven't seen them in a, in a while.
Well, how long is a while?
Uh, I don't know, you know, ten, twenty miles.
You want my advice?
No, but I suppose I'll get it anyway.
You know, I really can't stand it when you
roll your eyes like that.
Roll my eyes like what?
Oh, you know, like I'm some old dog
that farted under the dinner table.
'Go on, go on. It's your nickel.'
'Tell me what you're thinking.'
Let's go back while there's still time.
[chuckles] Yeah, sure.
Now all you need is a sign that says "Repent."
That's the problem with you teachers.
You're always tied to your lesson plans.
That's it.
It's-it's got to be the right fork.
This is..
That's south.
Yeah, I can smell Toketee Falls from here.
That's the ranch road. Must be.
A ranch road with a striped line?
Well, you'd be surprised how well-off
some of these ranchers are.
Money in the land, my dad always said.
[crows cawing]
Baby..
Let's go back and find a nice hot tub
and a cold mojito.
- Reverse is right there, baby. - I know, honey. Wrong..
Reverse is just another word for going backwards. Okay?
Besides, it's not like the yellow line is gonna run out.
♪ O-o-h ♪
♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Shake it up pretty baby.. ♪
Well, okay, huh. Doesn't matter.
There'll always be a county road.
We'll just head.. Keep heading south, southeast.
[sighs]
[engine revving]
[birds squawking]
Oh, Clark!
No, it's just... Just don't say anything, okay?
We're not lost.
We're not lost!
The road will open up again
over the next hill probably.
Oh!
We're not lost.
[birds squawking]
[music playing on stereo]
[brakes screeching]
[rock music on stereo]
[static]
[explodes]
[Mary] Oh!
That's it. I'm calling the auto club.
In 15 years of marriage
'you've never asked for directions ever.'
Just like your father.
Gave you this car of his, and the day he did
there must have been 50,000 extra miles
from going around in circles.
Well, you know, one man's circle
is another man's wanderlust.
Yeah, well, I'm all out of lust
and we've wandered long enough.
[beeping]
[Mary sighing]
[phone beeps]
[sighs]
[birds cawing]
[grunts]
[Clark grunts]
Clark.
[grunting]
Clark, I give.
Okay?
You're a man among men.
I say this with the greatest respect.
- Turn the damn car around. - Honey, honey, honey..
Uh, I can't risk turning the car around now.
The road is too narrow, the shoulders are soft.
'We'll get stuck.'
Okay?
I got us into this, I will get us out.
Trust me.
[owl hooting]
[chuckles]
[grunting]
[instrumental music]
[gasps]
[Clark grunting]
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
Clark, it's, um..
It's get.. It's getting late. We've got to turn back.
Oh, just stop it, Mary, alright?
Just put down the chalk, will you?
Not some Tolkien fantasy here.
We'll be fine. Just..
We just got to stay the course.
Stay the course.
You can't find the course, Clark.
'I mean, what are you trying to prove?'
We're in trouble here. Just look.
- Can't you see it? - Uh, I see a sign.
[Clark] 'Can you read it?'
Can you read it?
Yeah, it says, "If you came this far
you really screwed up."
[bird cawing]
[creaking]
[birds chirping]
Huh.
[instrumental music]
- 'This has to be a joke.' - 'Well, maybe not.'
A town called Rock and Roll Heaven?
Well, why not? There's truth
and consequences, New Mexico, there's shark, Nevada.
There's even a town in Pennsylvania called Intercourse.
I mean, why not Rock and Roll Heaven?
I mean, maybe it was built by hippies back in the 60s.
'I don't know, it doesn't matter.'
'What matters is that we've found some'
'honest-to-God pavement again, honey.'
- You made that up. - What?
Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Eh, no, no, no, I swear, it's..
I've, I've done Intercourse..
'Pennsylvania.'
- Huh? - Yeah.
[laughs]
We'll do the new road.
- Be careful. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[instrumental music]
[brakes screeching]
Ooh. Ah.
Ah, Norman Rockwell's birthplace.
Has to be.
[music continues]
Huh.
Where's the smoke?
There should be smoke from a chimney somewhere.
You know, we could win a condo in the Garden of Eden
and you'd be worrying about aphids.
Let's turn around.
What? Why?
I don't like it. That's all.
Look at that house.
Uh, yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like the candy house in Hansel and Gretel.
Oh, come on.
No, I hid under my bed for a week
after mom read me that story. Let's just turn around.
- Look, honey, honey.. - T-the roads are wide enough.
L-look at the character of the place, huh?
[Mary sighs]
I mean, if you wanna buy a souvenir... buy a t-shirt.
- 'A t-shirt!' - That's how you do it, Clark.
That's how men always do it.
- Do what? - 'Get your way.'
Not by being right, by being relentless.
[door opens]
- Oh, you're getting out now? - Yeah!
Yeah. Okay. Alright. Yeah.
[engine sputtering]
Yeah. Alright.
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
One t-shirt. Five minutes.
No. When do I get to choose, Clark, huh?
When do we take the trip I'd like?
When do we move to a different place for my job?
- You can teach anywhere. - Oh, I'm getting a headache.
Oh, come on. It's 19 miles back to highway 58
over the same crappy road..
Nineteen miles isn't so much.
But when you tack on 50 miles it's gonna take
to go around the forest, once we get to highway 58..
You make it sound like we have a plane to catch.
I mean, come on, this-this ticks me off, you know?
I mean, you take one look.. It's a nice little town.
It's got a cute little name.
And then suddenly, you're reminded of
of-of like, "Mystic River"
'or some damn thing and you wanna go back.'
Yeah.
Where if we just stayed on the same road through town
we just cut south, due south..
It's probably not even a half an hour to Toketee Falls.
That's what you said back at the diner, remember?
[horn honking]
[engine whirring]
- Whoo! - Hey!
[indistinct chattering]
[cheering]
[indistinct chattering]
- 'Peace!' - 'Peace!'
- 'We love you!' - 'We love you!'
- Make love, not war! - Make love!
[female #1] Make love!
Far out.
What was that about?
I don't know. Something... for the tourists, I'm thinking.
- 'Whoo-hoo!' - 'Bye.'
Alright. One souvenir and we're gone, promise.
First wicked witch we see
'I'm gonna back up Mustang Sally all the way to Portland.'
'No questions asked.'
'Please?'
Okay, one t-shirt..
...nothing more.
- Okay. - Nothing more.
Alright. Okay. But-but o-only if you're sure.
Oh, Clark, I said okay. That doesn't change how I feel.
Okay.
So you'll have to excuse me if I decline
to put my cheerleader skirt on and yell, "Go, Clark, go."
Jeez.
You are in some mood, boy.
You would look cute in a cheerleading skirt, though.
[engine revving]
[instrumental music]
[engine sputtering]
Hey!
Look at that.
[indistinct chattering]
- Huh. - Huh.
[burping]
How you doin'?
Okay.
No, no. Come this way.
You have to see it, Clark.
- I know you do. - What?
It's like the town in the "Twilight Zone."
"A peculiar little town."
Remember?
Come on. You watch TV-Land constantly.
- Aah. - Clark.
[engine revving]
[Mary] 'What are you doing?'
- I want a coke. - Clark.
What's the matter?
[sighing] I know you.
You've no intention of leaving this place
until you convince yourself you're not intimidated.
Can I get you something?
- Iced tea, or.. - I wanna leave.
What's to be afraid of, honey?
Who knows what goes on in the backwoods here.
These guys, they could have 12 wives, date their sisters..
- I don't know! - I'll be right back.
Clark, I'm not staying here by myself.
Clark.
Okay.
Go piss on your hydrant, then we're getting out of here.
[crow cawing]
They look familiar.
[both laugh]
Who do we know is moved to rock and roll, Oregon
to be street people?
Oh.
[chuckles] Wow, look at this.
[chuckles] Oh-oh!
Come on in, folks.
Take the first available booth.
[laughs]
'Oh.'
Wow.
Ah, this is fabulous.
Look at this. Look, look, look..
They have the moonglows..
Frankie Lymon and the teenagers. Ah.
Tweedle-Dee-Dee.
'Oh, Tweedle-Dee-Dee.'
'Wow! Oh, God.'
I haven't heard that since my dad played it when I was a kid.
Just takeout drinks, remember?
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. - Alright.
Alright, but-but-but..
Mary, I mean-I mean, look at-look at this place.
I mean, look.. Look at the menu.
I mean, you got big bopper burger
and Suzie cue fries.
I mean, come on, woman.
Where's your damn soul, huh?
Drinks, Clark.
We discussed this in the car. Drinks only.
[clears throat] Uh..
What'll it be?
Oh, I.. Uh, can I have a coke, please?
Large.
You ought to try the cherry pie.
Rick just made it.
Ah. Alright.
'Sounds good.'
[instrumental music]
♪ I know she told you ♪
Just a coke to go.
♪ Honey I know she told you ♪
♪ That she loved you ♪
♪ Much more than I did ♪
That redhead over there.
♪ All I know is that she left you.. ♪
Oh! Stop staring at her.
You're like a little boy trying to peek up
somebody's skirt in study hall.
No..
Is she, like, the splitting image of Janis Joplin
'or am I crazy?'
♪ Come on and cry cry baby ♪
♪ Cry baby ♪
♪ Oh honey welcome back home ♪
♪ Don't you know honey.. ♪♪
[Clark] Hey, Mary?
You alright?
What? What? What? What? You-you..
You're-you're sweating for cryin' out loud.
It's not anything to have a panic attack over.
You know, losing my mother's diamonds last year
that's worth having a panic attack over.
Janis Joplin is dead, in LA
an overdose.
What are these people?
The Jonestown Glee club?
Uh, she's a groupie
and this is like a fifties place.
T-they're playing dress-up, that's all.
Tell you what, we'll enjoy our pie
and we'll get out of here, alright?
[exhales]
Hi. Uh, could I make my coke a malt?
Well, you can do anything you want, stud.
Well, in that case, make mine vanilla.
And how did I know that?
[Clark laughs]
'I mean, nobody makes malts anymore, you know?'
'It's all latte, mocha, gelato.'
'Any old excuse to charge you five bucks a pop.'
[dramatic music]
[mixer whirring]
[Rick] Go on, doll, serve 'em up.
Just the ones with the big biceps.
Yeah?
[indistinct chattering]
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
So, uh, how do you get your lipstick
to match your hair like that?
Well, you start with the lipstick, always.
Clark.
'Your pie is here.'
Ah! Great.
'You don't have to call this cowboy twice.'
[chuckles] Yeah.
Whoo!
'Oh, yeah.'
Oh!
Oh! That's incredible!
Mmm.
Who made it?
Rick, take a bow.
[Clark clapping]
Hell of a pie, man. Wow.
Where did you, where did you learn to make pie like that?
Me and mom, we hung around the kitchen a lot.
That's you in a nutshell, Rick.
- Mama's boy. - Hey, give me my hat back.
- Give me that hat. - Never!
- Come here! - Whoo!
Oh, and you run like a mama's boy.
Rick?
Ozzie and Harriet?
- Ricky.. - Nelson.
- Ricky Nelson. - Gotta catch me first!
[laughing]
That's impossible. That's impossible.
- He's.. - Dead.
[both laughing]
I think, like, 20 years.
A plane crash, him and his whole band.
- Hey! - Whoo! Oh!
- Ah! - Cut that out.
Clark, uh..
I think I left my wallet in the car.
Would you go get it for me, please?
'The pink one.'
'It might be under the seat.'
You go.
If you can't find it, I'll come help you.
Right. I'll go look in the car.
Mm-hmm.
Don't let that pie get cold now.
[guitar music]
[Janis] Don't let it get to you, honey.
They're just starting to tune up for the concert tonight.
We have a concert here in town almost every night.
I'll bet you do.
[bell ringing]
Excuse me, sir.
Hey.
[male #1] 'Howdy, ma'am.'
♪ Pretty woman ♪
♪ Walkin' down the street pretty woman.. ♪♪
That's Roy Orbison and Buddy Holly.
Solid tune, I'll give you that.
But it ain't no rave on.
[bell ringing]
[music continues]
[shattering]
They call that losing your cherry.
[both laughing]
Well, don't worry yourself about that, sweet thing.
Welcome.
I ain't seen you around these parts before.
I, um.. My husband and I
we're just tourists visiting.
We-we have to leave.
You and your man ought to hang around a while.
You ought to stay for the concert tonight.
We put on one hell of a show if I do say so myself.
[dramatic music]
We'd love to have you, ma'am, and not just for the night.
- Stay a spell. - What do you say?
Let me, um..
- Oh! - 'Let me ask my husband.'
[belching]
Oh!
Ah!
[whimpering]
Oh!
[insects screeching]
[Mary] 'Eww!'
[laughs]
- Oh, my God. Oh! - Hey!
So you dine and dash, rotten crotch?
- Get her, boys. - Get in the car, Mary!
[Mary breathing heavily]
Go!
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
[Mary] 'Oh, my God!'
[tires screech]
[Clark] 'I-I remember who they are now.'
It's Ronnie Van Zant and Duane Allman.
Clark, back up.
[tires screeching]
[all laughing]
[engine sputtering]
- Oh! - Clark, go!
I'm trying.
- Ahh! Ahh! - Ahh!
[Rick laughs]
- You're coming to the show. - 'Clark!'
Screw you!
[laughing] Whoo! Whoo!
[laughing] Whoo!
Oh! Ah!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoa!
[Rick laughing]
Whoo!
[laughing]
[tires screeching]
[Rick] Whoo!
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[Rick] 'Whoa!'
- Oh! - Oh!
- 'Oh!' - Whoa!
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Ah!
[Mary] 'Oh!'
Oh!
[grunting]
[Mary gasps]
[tires screeching]
Fasten your seat belt.
[grunting]
[tires screeching]
Oh! Who..
[grunts]
[groans]
[breathing heavily]
Oh, Ricky.
Clark, they're coming.
[engine sputtering]
Still alive.
'All of them.'
[Clark screams]
[engine revving]
- Ah! - Ah!
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[panting]
Now what?
Boy looks like road kill.
- Huh! - Oh, my God.
[sighing] Let's do this, okay?
[tires screeching]
[dramatic music]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving]
Hey, who hurt you?
[sighs] Cherry pie.
Clark.
Get us out of here.
[sighs]
We'll be fine.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[engine revving]
Not a single one.
- What? - Power lines.
Wherever they get their power
it's not from Oregon Power and Light.
- 'Oh!' - 'Ah!'
[tires screeching]
[crash]
[indistinct chattering]
- 'Completely. Wow!' - 'Yeah!'
[instrumental music]
[Mary sighs]
- You alright? Huh? - Back up. Turn around.
Go, go around.
[engine sputtering]
[Mary] Come on, go around!
[door clanks]
[grunting]
- 'What are you doing?' - You've seen 'em.
Do you want to be them?
[door clanking]
[guitar music]
[siren wailing]
[Elvis] Welcome to town, both of you.
Hope you can, uh, stay a while.
'We're real neighborly'
and we take care of our own.
I'm the mayor around these parts.
The name's Elvis Presley.
[music continues]
'Driving away wouldn't have done you no good anyhow.'
'Highway don't go nowhere but the Unicoi Swamp.'
No roads in there, ma'am.
There's a lot of polk salad
and quicksand and other things.
- Bears. - Bears.
Yep.
And other things.
[chuckles]
- If we stay for the show.. - 'The show?'
Oh, you got to stay for the show.
We really rock.
You'll see if we don't.
Ain't nothing but a stone fact.
If we stay for the show
can we go when it's over?
[Elvis] 'You know, ma'am'
'we're way out in the boonies out here'
and attracting an audience can be kind of slow work
although... once they hear us
everybody stays around for more.
'We was kind of hoping you might'
'stick around yourselves for a while..'
'...see a few shows..'
...and just kind of
enjoy our hospitality.
I think you might even decide..
...you want to settle down.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
So where do you wanna sit?
[Mary sighing]
Over there.
Hmm.
Hi.
I-I'm Cece Pryor.
Mary Rivingham.
- This is my husband Clark. - Hi.
Pleased to meet you.
Your hand.
Frankie did it.
Frankie Lyman.
Everyone says he was the sweetest guy
you'd ever want to meet..
...when he was alive.
'He only turned mean when he came here.'
You know, I don't care.
I just wish he had gotten away.
And I'd do it again.
Besides..
...Crystal takes care of me.
[man on PA] 'Sound check, sound check. Mic one. Check..'
You know, she'll fix you up if you want.
You don't need to lose no fingers
to want to get stoned in this town.
Oh, my wife and I don't use drugs.
You will.
Guys, check the fuse.
[Alan] 'Good evening, Rock and Roll Heaven!'
'Get your seats fast, ladies and gentlemen'
'and hold onto your chairs'
'because there's good rockin' tonight.'
How long do they go on?
A long time.
I mean, the show will be over at midnight.
It's a town ordinance.
But time is different here.
I mean, if the guys get cooking
'sometimes go for a year or more.'
Well..
We got jobs.
Oh, yeah.
Mayor said Mary can go work
at the bebop beauty shop.
I have an English degree.
A teacher's certificate, for God's sake.
[Clark] 'And I'm a software expert.'
'You don't hear me complaining about it, do you?'
I said to the mayor
"Your Honor, I'm a computer expert."
And he said, "Well, son
there's no computers in this here town," he says
"Although we could use
a couple of Ticketron outlets."
So you know, I guess I'll..
...stack shelves for a while.
Wasn't too good for dad..
Once upon a time, hmm?
How do you reach these people?
This is a nightmare.
I'm supposed to spend the next God knows
how long as a shampoo girl?
'Eh, don't-don't they hear you?'
"I'll bet you can wash and rinse
with the best of 'em, little lady."
That's what he says to me.
Hey, you hadn't ought to make fun.
'Making fun can get you into trouble around here.'
Okay, Clark, we have to go. My God, now.
- We have to get out of here. - Mary, Mary, come on..
- No, let's go. We gotta run. - Mary..
Come on, Mary.
[instrumental music]
Come on.
Whoa!
[audience clapping]
Rock and Roll Heaven, are you ready?
'We got a great show for you tonight.'
'A galaxy of stars, all backstage.'
And who's that guy?
We got Freddie Mercury just in from London town
Jim Croce, my main man, Johnny Ace..
Some old-time disc jockey.
'Alan Freed.'
Yeah, I knew I remembered him.
[Alan] Jim Morrison on the red eye flight from Paris.
Take it easy, Mary.
- 'Patsy Cline..' - How bad could it be?
[Alan] 'Keith Moon of the "Who,"
'Brian Jones of the "Stones."'
That cute little Florence Ballard
Of the "Supremes"
'Mary Wells..'
How long have you been here?
I don't know.
It's easy to lose track of time.
[Alan] 'All your favorites, just for you.'
- 'Twelve years, at least.' - 'Marvin... '
Maybe more.
Cass Elliot, Janis Joplin
'John Bonham.'
'He'll get the led out of your zeppelin.'
We got lost.
[Alan] 'George Harrison..'
We just got lost in the woods.
[Alan] 'Kurt Cobain.'
This what happens to people who get lost?
[Alan] 'Stevie Ray Vaughn!'
'The giants of music!'
'So, Rock and Roll Heaven, are you ready to boogie?'
Then let's go
because rock and roll will never die!
[music continues]
That's what I'm afraid of.
Whoo!
Thanks for coming out, everybody! Whoo!
[music continues]
♪ Mm people try to tell me ♪
♪ I've been wasting my time ♪
♪ I know I know I feel ♪
♪ I'm hanging on ♪
♪ Hanging on ♪
♪ I'm hanging on ♪
♪ I'm hanging on ♪♪
[instrumental music]
[music continues]