1 00:00:16,163 --> 00:00:18,481 What the shit is this? 2 00:00:18,594 --> 00:00:21,171 Uh, Cheech over here bought himself a bong. 3 00:00:22,099 --> 00:00:23,867 Deandra, this is wacky. 4 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,636 Go download me a hoagie off the Internet. 5 00:00:27,165 --> 00:00:28,578 I'm sorry? 6 00:00:28,691 --> 00:00:31,527 Those words don't make any s- sense. 7 00:00:31,641 --> 00:00:34,652 Oh, God, you guys. Oh, weird, I feel weird. 8 00:00:34,807 --> 00:00:37,047 - Rip another one. - Yeah, say something else stupid, too. 9 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,831 My arm's kind of numb. Dennis, can you feel my head? Am I hot? 10 00:00:39,944 --> 00:00:42,693 - I'm not touching you. - We're enjoying ourselves over here. 11 00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:44,451 I'm serious, you guys. Something's not right. 12 00:00:44,563 --> 00:00:46,695 - There's pigeons in the bar. - I feel... 13 00:00:46,799 --> 00:00:47,797 Pigeons in the bar. 14 00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,274 I'm being really serious, you guys, I need some he... 15 00:00:50,399 --> 00:00:51,565 Good one. 16 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,243 - What is her problem? - I don't know. 17 00:01:26,114 --> 00:01:29,420 - So... heart attack. - Yeah, yikes. 18 00:01:29,536 --> 00:01:31,261 Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. 19 00:01:31,389 --> 00:01:33,618 And the EMT says basically I'm like a ticking time bomb 20 00:01:33,762 --> 00:01:35,094 at this point 'cause it was just a little one. 21 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:36,705 I didn't know women could have heart attacks. 22 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:38,162 You know, what's scary about this whole thing, really, is 23 00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:40,146 that I have the same genes as her. 24 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:42,130 I'm concerned for myself and Charlie as well. 25 00:01:42,245 --> 00:01:43,873 We lead a very rock-and-roll lifestyle. 26 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:44,496 I know. 27 00:01:44,751 --> 00:01:47,140 I just had a heart attack. Can we focus on me for two minutes here? 28 00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:49,028 - I feel like we did talk about you. - Dee, your ship has sailed. 29 00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:52,487 Okay, it's time to move on to us, the people who are going to live on. 30 00:01:52,602 --> 00:01:54,511 Guys, we got to make sure that this does not happen to us. 31 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,856 That's the important thing here. We need to focus on ourselves... 32 00:01:56,980 --> 00:01:58,840 - Ms. Reynolds? - Doctor, thank God. Listen, 33 00:01:58,967 --> 00:02:00,753 let's just do all the tests you've got, okay? 34 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,539 I feel like the big one's right around the corner. 35 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,256 Well, actually, Ms. Reynolds, first we need to discuss 36 00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:07,682 how you'll be paying for your stay. 37 00:02:07,797 --> 00:02:09,608 Paying? This is a hospital. 38 00:02:10,151 --> 00:02:13,487 - Since when do you pay to stay in a hospital? - Since always. 39 00:02:13,602 --> 00:02:15,672 Uh, no, I believe that is what taxes are for. 40 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,595 Yeah, you don't pay a fireman to put out a fire. 41 00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:18,988 Or a cop to shoot a guy or... 42 00:02:19,114 --> 00:02:21,286 How do you not know how this works? You've been in a hospital before. 43 00:02:21,399 --> 00:02:23,399 I guess I must have slipped through the cracks. 44 00:02:23,526 --> 00:02:26,376 I do always give a fake name 'cause I like to stay off the grid. 45 00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:28,170 They usually just give me a bunch of antibiotics, 46 00:02:28,286 --> 00:02:30,106 - the sores go away, and I walk out. - Shut up. 47 00:02:30,222 --> 00:02:33,285 - Doctor, I have health insurance. - Yeah, we're on our father's policy. 48 00:02:33,508 --> 00:02:36,692 You guys, check out this cool gown. 49 00:02:37,247 --> 00:02:39,199 Really lets your ass breathe. 50 00:02:39,623 --> 00:02:41,523 - Oh, my God. - Son of a bitch. 51 00:02:41,650 --> 00:02:42,877 Why are you wearing that thing, dude? 52 00:02:42,992 --> 00:02:46,136 I'm getting a full-body scan. I've been partying real hard lately. 53 00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:48,331 Whatever. She needs to see the insurance card. 54 00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:50,687 I canceled that shit when you were nine. 55 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,234 - You canceled our insurance policy? - What? 56 00:02:53,349 --> 00:02:55,379 What, am I gonna carry that burden around? 57 00:02:55,491 --> 00:02:57,835 You couldn't have given us a heads-up about that a long time ago? 58 00:02:57,951 --> 00:02:59,466 Okay, let me get this straight. 59 00:02:59,594 --> 00:03:03,168 Ms. Reynolds, you have no health insurance? 60 00:03:03,952 --> 00:03:06,446 - No, I don't. - Okay. 61 00:03:07,172 --> 00:03:09,391 Well, get out. 62 00:03:13,836 --> 00:03:15,177 Harsh. 63 00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:19,577 Why is the government not providing us with health insurance? 64 00:03:19,703 --> 00:03:22,213 I mean, what is this, like some kind of socialist country 65 00:03:22,326 --> 00:03:25,369 or some kind of communist dictatorship? This is insane, 66 00:03:25,485 --> 00:03:29,221 this is un American. You don't pay for health insurance. That's crazy. 67 00:03:29,336 --> 00:03:31,275 All I know is we need to find insurance ASAP. 68 00:03:31,391 --> 00:03:32,729 Oh, my God, we're going to get sick eventually. 69 00:03:32,854 --> 00:03:34,223 So we just find a couple of side jobs, right? 70 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,890 That way we'll have insurance, and when disaster inevitably occurs, we'll be covered. 71 00:03:38,006 --> 00:03:39,876 - We'll be covered. - Okay, here we go. 72 00:03:39,993 --> 00:03:42,683 "Position available. Major sales corporation. 73 00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:45,077 Motivated individuals. Good interpersonal skills". 74 00:03:45,195 --> 00:03:47,525 You don't have to say anymore. That's us, that is us. 75 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,569 "Salary and benefits". 76 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,212 Jesus. 77 00:03:52,292 --> 00:03:53,991 Why are you still wearing that thing, dude? 78 00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:56,586 - Did you wear that all the way here? - I let my ass breathe. 79 00:03:57,545 --> 00:03:59,364 You keep saying that, but I don't know what it means. 80 00:03:59,479 --> 00:04:01,077 Yeah, how does an ass breathe? Explain that to me. 81 00:04:01,204 --> 00:04:02,530 - How does a...? - Just leave me alone, okay?! 82 00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:05,570 I can't get worked up. My doctor told me not to get worked up. 83 00:04:05,684 --> 00:04:07,705 I'm under too much stress. 84 00:04:07,817 --> 00:04:09,118 Yeah... 85 00:04:09,452 --> 00:04:10,722 That's a lot of pills, dude. 86 00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:12,765 Yeah, that's the beauty of having insurance. 87 00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:16,376 You can get the top-quality anti-anxiety drugs. 88 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,659 Wow, you got a lot of 'em, huh? 89 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,496 - What are you doing? - I'm taking 'em because 90 00:04:21,613 --> 00:04:23,523 I can't sift through the duds. 91 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,819 I got to take 'em all because I got to get healthy really fast. 92 00:04:26,935 --> 00:04:28,091 - You're taking 'em all at once? - Yeah. 93 00:04:28,209 --> 00:04:30,589 - I don't think that's a good idea. - It seems a bit aggressive to me. 94 00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,413 I know what I'm doing! 95 00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:35,807 Oh, this is great, Dee. This is perfect. 96 00:04:35,931 --> 00:04:38,329 I mean, getting in shape is like the best health insurance you can get. 97 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,851 Yeah, you take care of your body, you don't need a doctor. I want that. 98 00:04:40,964 --> 00:04:42,892 That's exactly right, yeah. You look good, you feel good. 99 00:04:43,005 --> 00:04:44,873 - It's all connected, baby. - It's connected. You're talking about 100 00:04:44,987 --> 00:04:47,372 the mind- body-abs connection. I would personally like to 101 00:04:47,489 --> 00:04:49,493 - get some side abs going. - You want to get some side abs? 102 00:04:49,618 --> 00:04:51,184 That's a good idea. You know what I'm concerned about? 103 00:04:51,299 --> 00:04:52,515 - I don't want to get too bulky. - Right. 104 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,027 I want to stay nice and lean and tight. 105 00:04:54,143 --> 00:04:56,335 I want to get that Jesus-on-the-cross look. 106 00:04:56,453 --> 00:04:59,638 I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core because... 107 00:04:59,764 --> 00:05:02,091 Absolutely. Jesus had, like, the best abs. He had the right idea. 108 00:05:02,203 --> 00:05:04,652 - Hey, he knew: no pain, no gain. - He had good messages. 109 00:05:04,766 --> 00:05:05,842 I'm sure he started that. 110 00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,634 All right, well, let's do some cardio since we're here. 111 00:05:07,748 --> 00:05:10,056 Yeah, here we are. Let's, uh, let's get our blood pumping. 112 00:05:10,178 --> 00:05:12,926 Let's hop on these treadmills and, uh, you know, let's do this thing. 113 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,527 - Let's do it. - All right. 114 00:05:14,971 --> 00:05:17,729 - I don't know if I'm ready. - I'm not feeling ready. 115 00:05:17,844 --> 00:05:20,249 Uh, I'll tell you why. I feel a little low-energy. 116 00:05:20,365 --> 00:05:22,029 That's what it is. We need to fuel up. 117 00:05:22,145 --> 00:05:24,882 Now, I see people utilizing a lot of shakes and powders around here. 118 00:05:25,008 --> 00:05:26,502 - We should probably look into that. - We should do that. 119 00:05:26,629 --> 00:05:28,564 You know what else we should do? Get some new outfits. 120 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,686 Let's get some new outfits. That's a great idea. 121 00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:33,094 You decided to rock jeans, for instance. I'm confused by that. 122 00:05:33,212 --> 00:05:36,390 Yeah, uh, I chose jeans. I'm not seeing a lot of other jeans... 123 00:05:36,501 --> 00:05:39,107 - I've never seen jeans in a gym. - Okay, well, look, that's fine. 124 00:05:39,222 --> 00:05:40,637 This is what we'll do. We'll dial it back. 125 00:05:40,753 --> 00:05:42,852 We'll get fueled up, we'll get some sick new outfits, 126 00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:44,300 and then we'll come back and work out. 127 00:05:44,906 --> 00:05:45,952 Let's go. 128 00:05:46,608 --> 00:05:49,203 "Official resumé of Mac and Charlie". 129 00:05:49,469 --> 00:05:51,147 So both of you are... 130 00:05:51,271 --> 00:05:54,896 Well, gentlemen, I've never seen two people share a resume before. 131 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:57,847 Well, we thought we'd save paper. You know, go green. 132 00:05:57,973 --> 00:06:01,630 Uh, "Work experience: Paddy's Pub management"? 133 00:06:01,746 --> 00:06:03,232 And duties that include 134 00:06:03,346 --> 00:06:05,822 "ordering supplies and taking care of business". 135 00:06:05,937 --> 00:06:07,324 T.C.O.B. 136 00:06:07,437 --> 00:06:10,884 Uh, "Business coordinator for several year"... I don't know who this is. 137 00:06:10,999 --> 00:06:12,138 - Coordinator. - Okay. 138 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:16,278 "For several years, I've been in complete charge of pretty much everything in my life." 139 00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:18,038 - I don't miss a beat. - That would actually be him. 140 00:06:18,152 --> 00:06:20,292 Uh, not... pretty much everything. 141 00:06:20,415 --> 00:06:23,270 There's certain things that you just can't have control of, sir. 142 00:06:23,385 --> 00:06:26,171 I think you'll find that what we lack in formal education, 143 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,415 we more than make up for in street smarts. 144 00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:31,825 Okay, so we can wheel, we can deal, we can oversee hostile takeovers. 145 00:06:32,019 --> 00:06:33,127 - Whatever you need, bud. - You name it. 146 00:06:33,244 --> 00:06:37,057 It's a mailroom gig, and there's only one spot available. 147 00:06:38,645 --> 00:06:40,941 Kind of a package deal. 148 00:06:41,057 --> 00:06:42,669 We sort of work as a team. I'll tell you what. 149 00:06:42,786 --> 00:06:44,570 What if we split the pay right down the middle? 150 00:06:44,955 --> 00:06:47,082 - You'd be willing to do that? - Oh, yeah. 151 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:48,842 Yeah, this has nothing to do with money. 152 00:06:48,957 --> 00:06:51,675 This is sort of a health insurance situation for us... 153 00:06:51,789 --> 00:06:54,216 ...so, you know, frankly, you don't even really have to pay us at all. 154 00:06:55,111 --> 00:06:57,477 Legally, I have to pay you something, but, uh, 155 00:06:57,593 --> 00:06:59,939 - minimum wage maybe? - Minimum wage? 156 00:07:00,035 --> 00:07:01,029 Are you kidding me? 157 00:07:01,137 --> 00:07:02,542 - That's great. - Absolutely. 158 00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:04,794 That's a government salary right there, yeah. 159 00:07:04,906 --> 00:07:08,084 Well, you drive a hard bargain. The job is both of yours. 160 00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,434 - Congratulations. - Congratulations to you. 161 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:12,374 - Bro. - Minimum wage. 162 00:07:12,551 --> 00:07:14,036 Minimum wage. 163 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,638 Fat burner? 164 00:07:19,766 --> 00:07:21,928 Well, I'm already on a nitric oxide energy stack, 165 00:07:22,057 --> 00:07:24,501 but yeah, sure, I'll take some fat burner... why not? 166 00:07:24,617 --> 00:07:28,474 All right, everybody. Before we begin today, 167 00:07:28,587 --> 00:07:31,705 are there any physical ailments that I should know about first? 168 00:07:31,821 --> 00:07:34,736 - Uh, yeah, I just had a heart attack. - Excuse me? 169 00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:37,630 I just had a heart attack. Maybe you should turn this techno music down. 170 00:07:37,755 --> 00:07:41,380 Yeah, I got to be honest, buddy, I'm not really feeling these tunes. 171 00:07:41,506 --> 00:07:44,081 - Boom, there we go. - Hey, what are you doing? 172 00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:47,555 I'm rifling through your music, and it's pretty terrible. 173 00:07:47,671 --> 00:07:49,635 - Yeah, you know what, put it down. - Does he have any '80s? 174 00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,345 Doesn't appear to. 175 00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:54,338 No, it seems like he's got a bunch of goddamn dance mixes. 176 00:07:54,452 --> 00:07:55,627 Hang on. It's all good. 177 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:58,188 I got a Steve Winwood CD in my car. I'll just go out and grab that. 178 00:07:58,304 --> 00:08:00,148 Okay, listen, don't do that. Please don't do that. 179 00:08:00,265 --> 00:08:02,212 - Why, what's wrong with Steve Winwood? - Yeah, man, 180 00:08:02,326 --> 00:08:03,480 "Higher Love"? It's a classic. 181 00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:05,902 Listen, I pick the music in this class, okay? 182 00:08:06,428 --> 00:08:08,574 Oh, no, no, no. I apologize. 183 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,854 I had no idea that this was all about you. 184 00:08:10,972 --> 00:08:13,498 First of all, I don't think you should even be here if you just had a heart attack, ma'am. 185 00:08:13,611 --> 00:08:16,248 Well, maybe you shouldn't dress like a bumblebee, bitch. 186 00:08:17,902 --> 00:08:19,128 You just dogged, bro. 187 00:08:19,213 --> 00:08:20,320 You just got dogged. 188 00:08:20,406 --> 00:08:22,159 Guys, please leave my class. 189 00:08:23,326 --> 00:08:24,440 Spin class. 190 00:08:24,528 --> 00:08:25,863 A bunch of hamsters on a wheel. 191 00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:27,733 I'm gonna ride a bike hard, I'm gonna ride a bike fast 192 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:29,546 and oh, yeah, I'm not gonna go anywhere. 193 00:08:29,638 --> 00:08:31,216 And then when I walk out, I'm gonna put a bunch of metal 194 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:34,277 onto a metal bar and lift that metal over and over like a metal jerk. 195 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,396 You know, I got to be honest with you. 196 00:08:35,494 --> 00:08:37,407 I feel like these supplements are doing a great job on their own, 197 00:08:37,495 --> 00:08:38,067 you know what I mean? 198 00:08:38,154 --> 00:08:39,297 I've got tons of energy. 199 00:08:39,384 --> 00:08:41,209 My heart rate's up. Things are going great. 200 00:08:41,305 --> 00:08:42,493 Absolutely. I feel good, too. 201 00:08:42,576 --> 00:08:45,181 Look how vascular I am. Look at how my veins are popping. 202 00:08:45,266 --> 00:08:46,622 I look good, and I feel good. 203 00:08:46,717 --> 00:08:49,523 I feel good, too, apart from the recent bouts of explosive diarrhea. 204 00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:51,404 Been having diarrhea? 205 00:08:51,502 --> 00:08:53,275 - Oh, God, all over the place. - Really? 206 00:08:53,361 --> 00:08:54,044 You know what that is? 207 00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:55,678 That's probably your body flushing out all the toxins. 208 00:08:55,762 --> 00:08:56,997 - You think so? - I do think so. 209 00:08:57,094 --> 00:08:59,471 I, on the other hand, have not taken a shit in days. 210 00:08:59,564 --> 00:09:00,610 - Days? - Days. 211 00:09:00,697 --> 00:09:02,409 - That doesn't sound good. - Oh, no, it's good. 212 00:09:02,504 --> 00:09:04,624 My body's working at 100% efficiency, yeah. 213 00:09:04,707 --> 00:09:06,635 My body is absorbing every single nutrient, 214 00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:08,105 and it's not wasting a single thing. 215 00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:09,385 Your body's taking its job very seriously. 216 00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:11,646 My body is doing its job like it's never done before. 217 00:09:11,739 --> 00:09:13,837 Okay, we're gonna start climbing just a little more. 218 00:09:13,924 --> 00:09:15,616 30% more resistance. 219 00:09:15,801 --> 00:09:17,910 Why don't we up the supplements, which we know work, 220 00:09:18,004 --> 00:09:19,661 and eliminate working out, which we know blows? 221 00:09:19,755 --> 00:09:20,992 That sounds like a pretty good plan. 222 00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:23,490 You know what, I'm gonna take it one step further and propose 223 00:09:23,574 --> 00:09:25,302 that we start working on a muscle that we've been 224 00:09:25,389 --> 00:09:26,671 neglecting this entire time. 225 00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:28,936 And it's the most important muscle in the entire body. 226 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:29,916 Which muscle? 227 00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:30,974 The face. 228 00:09:31,999 --> 00:09:34,048 That's a gift for you, bumblebee. 229 00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:37,780 - Come on. - Enjoy it, Coach Dick and Balls. 230 00:09:47,328 --> 00:09:49,583 Mr. Taylor whose grandpa was a sailor. 231 00:09:49,671 --> 00:09:52,004 There you go, Mr. Scott who drinks his coffee hot. 232 00:09:52,089 --> 00:09:52,736 There it is. 233 00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:55,828 Mr. White whose wife is not too bright, there you go. 234 00:09:55,921 --> 00:09:58,538 Come on, dude, I'm trying to network by the water cooler. 235 00:09:58,624 --> 00:10:00,931 Yeah, and I'm doing both of our jobs here, so you want to help out? 236 00:10:01,016 --> 00:10:02,520 Okay, the mail doesn't stop down there, Mac. 237 00:10:02,616 --> 00:10:03,280 I need help. 238 00:10:03,366 --> 00:10:04,814 All right, this is Felix's pile. 239 00:10:04,909 --> 00:10:06,654 He receives for Eric. He receives for Janet. 240 00:10:06,737 --> 00:10:09,473 Don't ever look Janet in the eye because she's a horrible devil woman. 241 00:10:09,570 --> 00:10:11,607 I feel like you are taking this shit way too seriously. 242 00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:14,266 Will you just help me out, man? This is Johnson's mail, okay? 243 00:10:14,473 --> 00:10:16,827 Now, Johnson's gone AWOL for the week with the wife and kids down 244 00:10:16,913 --> 00:10:19,019 in Orlando, so I want you to keep a pile in a neat stack 245 00:10:19,103 --> 00:10:20,650 somewhere that's all Johnson's mail. 246 00:10:20,735 --> 00:10:21,942 Oh, wait a second. 247 00:10:22,025 --> 00:10:23,501 This guy's in Orlando for the week? 248 00:10:23,678 --> 00:10:25,143 Yeah, man, come on, help me out here. 249 00:10:25,228 --> 00:10:26,863 Oh, hold on a second, bro. 250 00:10:26,948 --> 00:10:27,953 This is the perfect opportunity. 251 00:10:28,049 --> 00:10:30,515 I'm gonna hang out in his office and pretend I'm the new guy. 252 00:10:30,688 --> 00:10:32,857 I don't think that's gonna work, dude. 253 00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:35,276 Have you seen The Secret of My Success? 254 00:10:35,441 --> 00:10:37,276 They're gonna catch on to you. 255 00:10:37,544 --> 00:10:39,819 Yeah, but before they do, I will come up with an idea 256 00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:42,582 that will save the company millions, and they'll be forced to promote me. 257 00:10:42,747 --> 00:10:45,413 Are you sure? How does that movie end, dude? 258 00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:49,446 I can't rember. 259 00:10:49,669 --> 00:10:53,287 He bangs that old lady, and then they play that song from the '80s. 260 00:10:53,373 --> 00:10:54,385 "Day Bow Bow." 261 00:10:55,334 --> 00:10:57,139 What the hell is "Day Bow Bow"? 262 00:11:14,851 --> 00:11:16,547 No, Mac, seriously... 263 00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:17,991 Beautiful. 264 00:11:18,075 --> 00:11:20,471 At least give him his mail. 265 00:11:42,355 --> 00:11:44,551 Jesus Christ, dude, what's going on in here? 266 00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:46,493 I'm really behind the eight ball, Mac. 267 00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:47,723 The mail doesn't stop, bud. 268 00:11:47,809 --> 00:11:49,746 - You're smoking now? - Yeah, I'm smoking now. 269 00:11:49,829 --> 00:11:51,815 You kidding me? My nerves are like... 270 00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:52,576 So I'm trying to smoke. 271 00:11:52,662 --> 00:11:54,549 I'm trying to calm myself down, and hey, we got insurance, 272 00:11:54,634 --> 00:11:55,898 so what the hell, I can smoke. 273 00:11:55,984 --> 00:11:58,190 Maybe you're right 'cause I need to calm my nerves a bit, dude. 274 00:11:58,276 --> 00:11:59,440 It's a shark tank up there. 275 00:11:59,523 --> 00:12:00,760 Oh, yeah, is it? I bet. 276 00:12:00,847 --> 00:12:03,022 Have some coffee, too. That will calm you down. 277 00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,422 What's your system here, bro? 278 00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:06,574 It's pretty complicated. 279 00:12:06,669 --> 00:12:08,365 The mail goes into three sections according 280 00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:10,135 to how important I think the thing looks, okay? 281 00:12:10,221 --> 00:12:12,486 Now, the least important stuff, I'm gonna burn that. 282 00:12:12,573 --> 00:12:14,138 If it's important, they're gonna send it again, right? 283 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,389 The middle important stuff, I put that back in the mail 284 00:12:16,472 --> 00:12:18,510 addressed to me so I buy myself a couple more days. 285 00:12:18,602 --> 00:12:21,471 And the most important stuff, that gets delivered, although, 286 00:12:21,555 --> 00:12:23,984 you know something, Mac, I actually burn that, too, most of the time. 287 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,513 Okay, well, it looks like you've got this under control. 288 00:12:28,611 --> 00:12:29,903 I'm gonna get back to my office. 289 00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:31,466 - All right, bud, all right. - Yeah, no, I'm just... I'm... 290 00:12:31,561 --> 00:12:33,165 - The mail doesn't stop! - Okay, sorry, buddy. 291 00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:35,426 All right, I'm gonna get back to my office, and then... 292 00:12:35,515 --> 00:12:36,447 You know, I'll see you later. 293 00:12:36,533 --> 00:12:37,337 All right, man. 294 00:12:37,434 --> 00:12:38,710 Okay, bud. 295 00:12:38,794 --> 00:12:40,171 You're not gonna stop, are you? 296 00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:43,763 Come on, man, hit me. 297 00:12:43,925 --> 00:12:45,845 Come on, hit me again. Come on. 298 00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:47,073 Look. 299 00:12:50,802 --> 00:12:52,415 I found him wandering the streets. 300 00:12:52,501 --> 00:12:54,337 No ID, no nothing. 301 00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:56,508 Figure we turn him over to you until someone claimed him. 302 00:12:56,594 --> 00:12:58,110 - Poor thing. - Careful. 303 00:12:58,785 --> 00:13:00,530 I think he crapped himself. 304 00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:03,561 This way. 305 00:13:03,786 --> 00:13:05,342 Right through here. 306 00:13:05,879 --> 00:13:07,533 Hit me, hit me again. 307 00:13:08,797 --> 00:13:09,637 Hit me. 308 00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:27,252 Hello? 309 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:29,394 Hi. 310 00:13:29,789 --> 00:13:31,037 Who is this? 311 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,207 This is Mac. I'm the new guy. 312 00:13:33,382 --> 00:13:35,369 What are you doing in my office? 313 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,512 Who are you, and why are you in my office? 314 00:13:40,605 --> 00:13:41,703 Who is this? 315 00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:43,353 This is Johnson. 316 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,895 I thought you were in Orlando. 317 00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:50,788 I am in Orlando. I'm trying to check my voicemail. 318 00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,227 I can check it for you. 319 00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,530 No, don't... just... What is your name, sir? 320 00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:01,831 Why don't you just give me your name? 321 00:14:02,356 --> 00:14:03,864 Your full name, sir. 322 00:14:10,969 --> 00:14:12,518 Oh, this is going to be great, sis. 323 00:14:12,693 --> 00:14:14,776 I mean, we already got the mind, body and soul going. 324 00:14:14,873 --> 00:14:16,838 Now all we need is to get our faces nice and tight, 325 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,239 and we'll be healthy as all hell. 326 00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:19,118 I know. 327 00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:23,443 Now, you're clear on these instructions, right? 328 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,782 Yeah, yeah, I think so. 329 00:14:24,867 --> 00:14:26,393 You know what you're doing? They're in Spanish. 330 00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:31,004 Yeah, but you know, if you know Latin, you know, like, three languages, so... 331 00:14:31,092 --> 00:14:32,338 As far as I know, you don't speak Latin. 332 00:14:32,431 --> 00:14:34,507 I don't speak Latin, but there's pictures in here, so I think we're good. 333 00:14:34,593 --> 00:14:35,857 So you're good with the pictures then? 334 00:14:35,952 --> 00:14:37,070 Can we get going with this, though? 335 00:14:37,164 --> 00:14:39,731 'Cause those supplements are giving me the squirts like you would not believe. 336 00:14:39,815 --> 00:14:42,300 Oh, man, I would kill for your bowel movements right now. 337 00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:43,453 I am so blocked up. 338 00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:44,534 I'm gonna do your eyes first, 339 00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:45,732 - so hold really still. - Easy, easy. 340 00:14:45,817 --> 00:14:47,383 Seriously, do not move. 341 00:14:50,242 --> 00:14:51,755 - It's in? - It's out. 342 00:14:52,032 --> 00:14:53,017 - It's out? - I did it. 343 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,399 - It's out, and it's in. - Pretty good, right? 344 00:14:54,483 --> 00:14:54,867 Painless. 345 00:14:54,964 --> 00:14:57,369 Great. Let's just let that settle for a minute, and I'll... 346 00:14:57,562 --> 00:14:58,979 Think about what I would like to do. 347 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,891 Number one, I'd like to get rid of these crow's feet that I have 348 00:15:01,987 --> 00:15:03,803 been noticing coming in, which I do not appreciate. 349 00:15:03,886 --> 00:15:05,674 And hear me out on this one. It's a little weird. 350 00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:07,956 I'm thinking about doing something to my earlobes. 351 00:15:08,050 --> 00:15:10,666 I've never really liked my earlobes. Jesus! 352 00:15:10,749 --> 00:15:11,546 What? 353 00:15:12,493 --> 00:15:13,589 How's that eye feel? 354 00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,507 Oh, it feels a little weird. 355 00:15:15,593 --> 00:15:17,178 I'm having a little trouble seeing out of it. 356 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,631 - That's normal, right? - I don't think so. 357 00:15:18,713 --> 00:15:19,948 It's not? Really? 358 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:23,314 God, now that you mention it, sis, I do feel a fair amount of pain coming on. 359 00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:24,845 God, it stings. 360 00:15:26,019 --> 00:15:28,136 Shit, Dennis, I think maybe I switched these up. 361 00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:29,607 You switched 'em up? 362 00:15:29,699 --> 00:15:30,907 - I don't know. I'm thinking... - What the hell! 363 00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:32,108 Maybe I put some collagen in your eye. 364 00:15:32,194 --> 00:15:34,269 You injected Mexican collagen in my eye?! 365 00:15:34,353 --> 00:15:36,238 Sorry. I can't handle the stress you're giving me right now. 366 00:15:36,322 --> 00:15:38,558 My heart is very weak. It's a lot of pressure. 367 00:15:38,644 --> 00:15:40,359 Oh, God, I think I'm going blind in one eye. 368 00:15:40,445 --> 00:15:42,070 Well, hold on a second. I feel very weird. 369 00:15:42,157 --> 00:15:43,134 I'm going blind. 370 00:15:43,217 --> 00:15:45,333 I feel like my heart might explode. 371 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,336 Are you feeling better today? 372 00:15:54,365 --> 00:15:56,086 I like to hear that. 373 00:15:57,445 --> 00:15:59,288 Now take your medication. 374 00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:04,061 Good. 375 00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:08,604 That's good. 376 00:16:12,112 --> 00:16:13,188 Hello, Chief. 377 00:16:13,833 --> 00:16:15,479 They're onto me, dude. 378 00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:16,860 Those guys are sharp as nails up there. 379 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,361 You can't put anything past them. 380 00:16:18,456 --> 00:16:19,999 Oh, my God, dude, I'm freaking out. 381 00:16:20,085 --> 00:16:22,211 I am so stressed out. I feel like I'm having a panic attack. 382 00:16:22,297 --> 00:16:24,042 You want to talk about stress? You want to talk about stress?! 383 00:16:24,135 --> 00:16:27,122 Okay? I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac. 384 00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:28,353 How about that for stress? 385 00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:29,546 What the hell are you talking about? 386 00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:32,105 This company is being bled like a stuck pig, Mac, 387 00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:33,518 and I got a paper trail to prove it. 388 00:16:33,611 --> 00:16:34,608 Check this out. 389 00:16:35,175 --> 00:16:36,648 Take a look at this. 390 00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:38,929 - Jesus Christ, Charlie. - That right there is the mail. 391 00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:39,980 Now, let's talk about the mail. 392 00:16:40,075 --> 00:16:41,341 Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? 393 00:16:41,437 --> 00:16:43,574 I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? 394 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,882 Pepe Silvia... This name keeps coming up over and over again. 395 00:16:45,969 --> 00:16:47,946 Every day, Pepe's mail's getting sent back to me. 396 00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:51,508 I look in the mail. This whole box is Pepe Silvia. 397 00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,338 So, I say to myself, I got to find this guy. 398 00:16:53,420 --> 00:16:54,488 I got to go up to his office. 399 00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:56,190 I got to put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands. 400 00:16:56,275 --> 00:16:57,170 Otherwise he's never gonna get it. 401 00:16:57,254 --> 00:16:58,420 He's gonna keep coming back down here, 402 00:16:58,504 --> 00:17:01,672 so I go up to Pepe's office, and what do I find out? What do I find out?! 403 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,994 There is no Pepe Silvia. 404 00:17:04,076 --> 00:17:05,415 The man does not exist, okay? 405 00:17:05,497 --> 00:17:06,573 So, I decide, 406 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:08,296 "Oh, shit, buddy. I got to dig a little deeper." 407 00:17:08,381 --> 00:17:09,386 There's no Pepe Silvia. 408 00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:11,485 You got to be kidding me. I got boxes full of Pepe! 409 00:17:11,582 --> 00:17:15,128 All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in HR, 410 00:17:15,223 --> 00:17:16,979 and I knock on her door, and I say, 411 00:17:18,076 --> 00:17:20,409 "Carol, I got to talk to you about Pepe." 412 00:17:20,494 --> 00:17:22,283 And when I open the door, what do I find? 413 00:17:22,365 --> 00:17:25,064 There's not a single, goddamn desk in that office. 414 00:17:25,149 --> 00:17:28,764 There is no Carol in HR. 415 00:17:29,411 --> 00:17:32,378 Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. 416 00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:34,979 This office is a goddamn ghost town. 417 00:17:35,653 --> 00:17:37,948 Okay, Charlie, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. 418 00:17:38,954 --> 00:17:42,401 Not only do all of these people exist, but they have been asking 419 00:17:42,486 --> 00:17:44,193 for their mail on a daily basis. 420 00:17:44,277 --> 00:17:45,545 It's all they're talking about up there. 421 00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,443 Jesus Christ, dude, we are going to lose our jobs. 422 00:17:47,531 --> 00:17:49,947 Well, calm down, 'cause here's one thing that's not gonna happen. 423 00:17:50,032 --> 00:17:50,784 What? 424 00:17:50,871 --> 00:17:52,346 We're not gonna get fired. 425 00:17:52,443 --> 00:17:53,157 We're not? 426 00:17:53,251 --> 00:17:55,006 'Cause we've already been fired. 427 00:17:55,512 --> 00:17:56,928 We've lost our jobs?! 428 00:17:57,636 --> 00:17:59,690 About three days ago, a couple of pink slips came in the mail. 429 00:17:59,784 --> 00:18:01,280 One for you and one for me. So what did I do? 430 00:18:01,368 --> 00:18:02,912 I mailed them halfway to Siberia, okay? 431 00:18:02,997 --> 00:18:04,884 Charlie, if we've lost our jobs, that means we've lost 432 00:18:04,978 --> 00:18:07,485 our health insurance, which means all of this was for nothing. 433 00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:09,535 Goddamn it, dude. I'm having a panic attack. 434 00:18:09,629 --> 00:18:10,926 I am actually having a panic attack. 435 00:18:11,011 --> 00:18:12,747 Oh, will you settle down and have another cup of coffee? 436 00:18:12,921 --> 00:18:13,949 I am, bro. 437 00:18:14,032 --> 00:18:15,538 - All right, well, fine. - You know what, Barney? 438 00:18:15,631 --> 00:18:17,328 Give this guy a cigarette. He's freaking out. 439 00:18:17,725 --> 00:18:18,412 Who? 440 00:18:19,496 --> 00:18:21,810 Barney. He's the guy who tipped me off to Pepe Silvia. 441 00:18:21,895 --> 00:18:23,723 Barney?! Who the hell is Barney?! 442 00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:24,704 You don't see Bar...? 443 00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:26,403 Oh, shit, where the hell did he...? 444 00:18:27,528 --> 00:18:29,016 You've lost your mind. 445 00:18:29,099 --> 00:18:31,425 You've lost your goddamn mind, Charlie. 446 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:39,239 Jesus Christ, dude, will you forget the mail, all right? 447 00:18:39,337 --> 00:18:40,593 Forget the mail? 448 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,511 The mail's the most important thing in the world now. 449 00:18:42,597 --> 00:18:43,481 Dude, you're gonna give me another panic attack. 450 00:18:43,575 --> 00:18:44,723 - You have a cigarette? - I hear Barney. 451 00:18:44,808 --> 00:18:45,914 Where's Barney, huh? 452 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,895 How long is the wait at this place?! 453 00:18:47,990 --> 00:18:49,753 We have been here for hours and hours. 454 00:18:50,111 --> 00:18:51,265 Goddamn Frank. 455 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:52,657 Where the hell is he? 456 00:19:02,038 --> 00:19:04,224 Shit! Where am I? 457 00:19:22,366 --> 00:19:24,613 Tonto... Come here. 458 00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,944 Come on, bub, let's go. 459 00:19:28,031 --> 00:19:30,154 Get up. You got to help me out here. 460 00:19:32,863 --> 00:19:36,461 Pick this up and throw it through this window. 461 00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:40,181 Pick... throw. 462 00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:54,237 That's it. 463 00:19:55,902 --> 00:19:56,979 That's it. 464 00:19:57,736 --> 00:19:58,560 One... 465 00:19:58,915 --> 00:19:59,699 Two... 466 00:20:00,256 --> 00:20:01,210 and three. 467 00:20:04,117 --> 00:20:05,263 Beautiful. 468 00:20:05,798 --> 00:20:08,096 Come on. Let's get the hell out of here. 469 00:20:08,402 --> 00:20:10,094 Come on. You go first.