1 00:00:02,464 --> 00:00:06,423 Another big night, fellas... $ 164.87. 2 00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:08,402 - That's not a lot of money. - No, it isn't. 3 00:00:08,471 --> 00:00:11,668 - And our mortgage is due in two weeks. - We paid that a week ago. 4 00:00:11,741 --> 00:00:14,471 A week ago was three weeks late, Mac. 5 00:00:14,544 --> 00:00:16,535 Hey, guys. 6 00:00:16,612 --> 00:00:20,378 I met this guy in acting class. He's really cool, and he wants to see where I work. 7 00:00:20,450 --> 00:00:23,147 So could you guys try to not be weird? 8 00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:27,589 - What is that supposed to mean? - I love you guys, but sometimes you're not that cool. 9 00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:29,683 - We're cool! - Not cool? 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,228 - Try to be cool. - Sometimes you're not too cool. 11 00:00:32,296 --> 00:00:34,491 - Charlie... - Always cool, man. 12 00:00:34,565 --> 00:00:37,262 - Oh, hey, man, we're closed. - Yeah, I know. 13 00:00:37,335 --> 00:00:40,395 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! We don't want any trouble. - What? 14 00:00:40,472 --> 00:00:43,202 Guys, this is Terrell... 15 00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:45,208 from my acting class. 16 00:00:48,213 --> 00:00:51,081 - Yeah. Yeah. - Hey, man. How's it goin'? 17 00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:54,278 - It's going good. How you doin'? - Good, man. 18 00:00:54,353 --> 00:00:56,378 - We're just chillin', dude. - Great. 19 00:00:56,455 --> 00:00:58,286 - Just closing up shop. - Yeah. 20 00:00:58,357 --> 00:01:00,052 Whoa. 21 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:03,756 Guess you guys don't have too many brothers walking through here. 22 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,764 - Oh, no, no. - We got plenty of brothers. 23 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,629 Yeah... A-African-Americans. 24 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,862 Okay. Yeah, we get it. 25 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,404 You might know some of them. 26 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,468 Yeah. We're probably related. 27 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:18,569 No. 28 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,979 I don't think he was implying that you guys are all related. That's ridiculous. 29 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:26,452 Sweet Dee came in here a second ago and started talking about acting class. 30 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:30,856 - We weren't expecting you... - We weren't expecting you to be black, that's all. 31 00:01:33,762 --> 00:01:35,662 Right. 32 00:01:40,836 --> 00:01:42,633 Thanks, guys. 33 00:02:13,772 --> 00:02:17,230 When I'm promotin', everybody and their mama gonna be there. 34 00:02:17,309 --> 00:02:19,777 There's gonna be brothers, white boys, Latinos, whatever. 35 00:02:19,844 --> 00:02:22,369 You got niggas hanging from the rafters. 36 00:02:22,447 --> 00:02:25,383 So we got 400-plus packed into this tiny little place... 37 00:02:25,451 --> 00:02:28,318 Whoa. You had 400 people packed into a place? 38 00:02:28,387 --> 00:02:30,355 You damn right. That's my job, man. 39 00:02:30,423 --> 00:02:32,391 And it's mostly college kids. 40 00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,858 My sister goes to Temple, so I got the hookup over there. 41 00:02:34,927 --> 00:02:36,792 And hookups are good. 42 00:02:36,862 --> 00:02:40,924 But, just to be clear, when you say your sister, do you mean your sister or your friend... 43 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:42,798 - Dude. - Oh, Jesus. 44 00:02:44,204 --> 00:02:47,139 - I mean my sister. - Oh. Okay. Cool. 45 00:02:47,207 --> 00:02:50,301 I was just... Because he could mean his friend or his... 46 00:02:50,377 --> 00:02:52,242 Stop talking. 47 00:02:52,312 --> 00:02:54,747 So we're packed into this little place on Walnut. 48 00:02:54,816 --> 00:02:57,910 We're halfway through the night, everything's goin' all right. 49 00:02:57,986 --> 00:03:01,854 All of a sudden, I notice this dude eyeballin' me from across the bar. 50 00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:06,053 - Shit. - I don't know if this dude wants to freak me or fight me. 51 00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:08,858 - He's giving you crazy eyes. - The insane, crazy eyes. 52 00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:10,796 - Right? - I know that. 53 00:03:10,866 --> 00:03:13,232 So I walk over... He's this big, cut Mexican dude... 54 00:03:13,302 --> 00:03:16,965 and I look at him and say, "Yo, ese... 55 00:03:17,039 --> 00:03:20,532 unless you want to get yo' ass torn apart... 56 00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:23,135 you'd better get that look off your face." 57 00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:26,273 - No! - You just walked right up to him and said that? 58 00:03:26,349 --> 00:03:28,749 I had to, man. You gotta make the first move. 59 00:03:28,818 --> 00:03:31,753 - Always make the first move. You know what I'm sayin'? - L-I know. 60 00:03:31,821 --> 00:03:34,757 - So what happened? - Well, hey, he won't stop starin' me down. 61 00:03:34,825 --> 00:03:38,921 We're, like, eyeball to eyeball. His grill is right up in mine. It feels like an eternity. 62 00:03:38,996 --> 00:03:41,294 Finally... 63 00:03:41,365 --> 00:03:44,732 he just opens up his mouth and says... 64 00:03:44,802 --> 00:03:49,035 "I guess you gon' have to tear my ass apart, homes." 65 00:03:49,107 --> 00:03:52,372 Oh, man. So what'd you do? 66 00:03:52,444 --> 00:03:54,469 Took him to the back alley... 67 00:03:54,546 --> 00:03:57,174 and I tore his ass apart! 68 00:03:57,249 --> 00:03:59,046 Oh, my God! 69 00:03:59,117 --> 00:04:00,812 That's insane! 70 00:04:03,956 --> 00:04:07,255 Okay, I would like to do things like that. 71 00:04:07,327 --> 00:04:10,262 I love that guy. "I took him to the back alley"? 72 00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:13,822 - Who does shit like that? It's like a movie. - There's something off about him. 73 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:17,769 - Oh, bro, that's racist. - No, asshole, that's not what I meant. 74 00:04:17,838 --> 00:04:20,705 - I'll go get the coffee. What do you guys want? - Dude, sit down. Okay? 75 00:04:20,774 --> 00:04:23,709 Wait till the waitress comes out here, and then you can stare at her. 76 00:04:23,777 --> 00:04:26,871 - I wasn't gonna stare at her. I was just gonna... - He wasn't gonna stare at her. 77 00:04:26,947 --> 00:04:30,008 - You're totally obsessed with that chick. - No, I'm not. I like her. 78 00:04:30,085 --> 00:04:34,522 I have a little bit of a crush, yes. But obsessed? That's a bit of a harsh word. 79 00:04:34,589 --> 00:04:39,083 - It's never gonna happen. - Honestly, I think we should think about hiring Terrell. 80 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,025 - Why? For what? - You heard him. 81 00:04:41,096 --> 00:04:43,326 When he's promotin', everybody named Mama's looking to get in. 82 00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:46,266 That's true. They do have "niggers hanging from rafters." 83 00:04:46,335 --> 00:04:49,270 - Wow. Nice. - No, that's not what I was saying. 84 00:04:49,338 --> 00:04:50,737 - Coffee? - Yeah. 85 00:04:50,806 --> 00:04:53,707 - Hitler? - No, I'm not... I'm not Adolf Hitler. 86 00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:56,711 - I'll make sure to put lots of cream in yours. - I was quoting a black friend. 87 00:04:56,779 --> 00:04:58,714 Okay. 88 00:04:58,782 --> 00:05:00,716 Well, that's just great. 89 00:05:00,784 --> 00:05:03,753 - Now she thinks I'm racist. - Dude, will you just drop it? 90 00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:07,221 Listen, ifTerrell delivers half of what he promises, we're looking at 200 people. 91 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:11,853 - Yeah, that's true. - It'd be nice to get some chicks in the bar. 92 00:05:11,929 --> 00:05:14,056 All right, let's do it. 93 00:05:18,369 --> 00:05:20,234 - Sure about this? - It's 2005, Charlie. 94 00:05:20,304 --> 00:05:23,740 Don't you think it's ridiculous that you have no friends outside of your own race? 95 00:05:23,808 --> 00:05:26,744 - No, what is ridiculous is this stupid plan. - It's not stupid! 96 00:05:26,812 --> 00:05:29,406 - It's a stupid plan. - It's not... This is a college campus. 97 00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:32,917 This is a great place to meet people of different cultures, diversify... 98 00:05:32,985 --> 00:05:35,852 You're just trying to make black... Mm-hmm. 99 00:05:36,955 --> 00:05:38,890 You're trying to make black friends. 100 00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:42,394 - You're not making it easy. - You're trying to impress Terrell with a couple of black friends. 101 00:05:42,462 --> 00:05:44,555 Don't do this right now. 102 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:50,958 Okay. See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. 103 00:05:51,037 --> 00:05:52,972 - This is perfect. - Huh. Yeah. 104 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,531 - I'm gonna break the ice. - Go for it. 105 00:05:55,609 --> 00:05:57,474 'Bout to bust that shit up, Reese. 106 00:05:57,545 --> 00:05:59,809 'Bout to bust that shit up, boy! 107 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,814 Absolutely. 108 00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:11,591 - Okay, that didn't go exactly the way... - No. 109 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,855 - No. It was really awkward. - Really awkward. 110 00:06:13,929 --> 00:06:15,920 - Maybe we should go. - Yeah! 111 00:06:15,997 --> 00:06:19,091 - Hey, what's your name? - Oh. It's, uh, Charlie. 112 00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:21,136 Do you play bones, Charlie? 113 00:06:21,204 --> 00:06:23,104 I dabble. 114 00:06:23,172 --> 00:06:26,107 Do you want to play? I could get you a game. 115 00:06:26,175 --> 00:06:29,110 Uh, no, I shouldn't. I'm not very good, so... 116 00:06:29,178 --> 00:06:33,137 - I bet you're really good. - Well, it's been a long time, you know. 117 00:06:33,216 --> 00:06:35,208 - Oh, come on. - All right. One game. 118 00:06:35,285 --> 00:06:38,311 Domino, bitch! 119 00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:44,960 This is bullshit. Absolute bullshit. 120 00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:48,487 - Why do these people like you more than they like me? - Maybe it's comments like that. 121 00:06:48,566 --> 00:06:52,366 I meant those people in there, not all black people. What am I supposed to say? 122 00:06:52,437 --> 00:06:55,338 You should say something different. Figure something else out. 123 00:06:55,406 --> 00:06:57,340 - Hey. - Hey. 124 00:06:57,408 --> 00:07:00,434 - Um, I'm Janell. - Oh, hi. 125 00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:03,880 - Uh, you got some moves out there, Charlie. - Thanks. 126 00:07:03,949 --> 00:07:05,883 You know. 127 00:07:05,951 --> 00:07:08,476 I wanted to give you this. 128 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,488 - Oh. Okay. - You know? 129 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:14,219 - Give me a call sometime. All right? - Yeah. Sure. 130 00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:16,285 Well, you... 131 00:07:16,363 --> 00:07:19,230 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing, dude? - What? 132 00:07:19,299 --> 00:07:21,233 That girl's gorgeous. 133 00:07:21,301 --> 00:07:24,429 She's the perfect opportunity to prove we're not racist. She probably has friends for me. 134 00:07:24,504 --> 00:07:27,962 Well, if anything, I think we should be focused on black men, first of all. 135 00:07:28,041 --> 00:07:30,101 What? 136 00:07:30,177 --> 00:07:33,044 We don't really need... We need black guys, so... 137 00:07:33,114 --> 00:07:35,582 - Black guys? What are you talking about? - You know. 138 00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:38,983 Is this about that waitress at the coffee shop, dude? 139 00:07:39,053 --> 00:07:40,918 - Oh, my God! - What? 140 00:07:40,988 --> 00:07:43,480 - Dude, you are obsessed with this chick. - No, I'm not. 141 00:07:43,559 --> 00:07:45,424 - Let me see your wallet. - Why? 142 00:07:45,494 --> 00:07:49,191 - Are you still carrying a picture of her in your wallet? - No. 143 00:07:54,803 --> 00:07:57,238 Give it to me. Give it... 144 00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:59,935 Oh, my God! Stop making a scene! 145 00:08:00,009 --> 00:08:02,409 Just give me the wallet! Give me the wallet! 146 00:08:02,478 --> 00:08:04,469 I can't get the goddamn... 147 00:08:04,547 --> 00:08:06,674 It's okay! It's okay, everybody! 148 00:08:06,749 --> 00:08:09,115 - You're making a scene. - You're making a scene! 149 00:08:09,185 --> 00:08:10,983 I got it. 150 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,888 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Hold on a second. 151 00:08:13,958 --> 00:08:17,189 - Ha! Ha-ha! Ha! - Give it to me! 152 00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:19,024 He had it! 153 00:08:19,096 --> 00:08:20,859 Okay! You found it! 154 00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:23,024 - I'm gonna tear it up! - No, don't! 155 00:08:24,401 --> 00:08:27,428 Just give me it. I'll call the black girl. Okay? 156 00:08:27,505 --> 00:08:29,473 Okay, buddy. 157 00:08:29,541 --> 00:08:32,135 We're cool. We're cool. 158 00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:35,270 We're good. Thanks, guys. See ya. 159 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:43,587 I had the craziest dream last night that I was in Cleveland, Ohio... 160 00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:46,591 which is really weird, because I've never even been to Ohio. 161 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,594 This guy was wearing a bunny suit, and he was coming out... 162 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,598 You know what, Dee? I don't wanna hear about your dreams. Okay? 163 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:56,602 I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. 164 00:08:56,670 --> 00:09:00,106 If I'm not in any of'em and nobody's having sex, I just... I don't care. 165 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,040 Oh. I'm sorry. I would listen to your dreams. 166 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:06,080 - 'Cause your my brother and I love you. - I'm sorry. I am. 167 00:09:06,147 --> 00:09:08,877 - Hey! What's goin' on, guys? - Terrell. 168 00:09:08,950 --> 00:09:11,817 - How are you? - Hey! What's up? What's up? 169 00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:15,549 How you doin'? Dennis! What's goin' on? 170 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,614 - All right, man. - How's it goin', man? 171 00:09:17,692 --> 00:09:19,557 Good, man. 172 00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:23,257 Listen, um, you mind stepping outside with me for a second, man? 173 00:09:23,332 --> 00:09:25,197 - Yeah, I'll come outside. - Yeah? 174 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,462 - Yeah. - All right. Well, come on. 175 00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:32,770 I'm gonna put these out on the tables. 176 00:09:33,777 --> 00:09:37,144 Rule number one: Always keep a line. 177 00:09:37,213 --> 00:09:39,613 Oh, my God! That is a lot of people! 178 00:09:39,683 --> 00:09:41,617 Wow! 179 00:09:47,558 --> 00:09:51,858 - This is crazy! - I know! I told you! Terrell's the best! 180 00:09:51,929 --> 00:09:54,489 I'm gonna have to start bartending full-time. 181 00:09:54,565 --> 00:09:56,499 L-Look at this! 182 00:09:57,802 --> 00:10:00,635 - Why are you making more money than me? - I don't know! 183 00:10:00,705 --> 00:10:04,733 - Hey, this is crazy! - I know. Terrell packed 'em in. Look at this. 184 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:08,211 - This is crazy! - Yeah, dude, we were just saying that. 185 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,180 - Lot of dudes. - Yeah, there's a lot of dudes. 186 00:10:10,248 --> 00:10:11,977 Lot of dudes. 187 00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:13,950 What can I get you boys? 188 00:10:14,019 --> 00:10:17,581 - Oh, uh, we wanted to wait for the cute one. - What cute one? 189 00:10:21,494 --> 00:10:23,621 Mac, isn't that your cousin Brett by the jukebox? 190 00:10:25,531 --> 00:10:27,362 - Oh, yeah! - Let's go say hey. 191 00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:30,369 - Yo, Brettie boy! - Hey, cuz! 192 00:10:30,437 --> 00:10:34,635 - Hey! How you doin'? - What's up, Brett? Can you believe this crowd? 193 00:10:34,708 --> 00:10:37,506 - Oh, it's something else! - Yeah! 194 00:10:37,578 --> 00:10:40,206 Gentlemen, I understand my services have been requested. 195 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,646 I actually got a couple of services I'd like to request. 196 00:10:42,716 --> 00:10:45,208 Whoa! Uh, what are you doin, man? I'm not... 197 00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:49,382 - You have the most beautiful eyes. - Okay, man, but I'm... Really? 198 00:10:49,457 --> 00:10:51,288 So blue. 199 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,295 Really more of a blue-green, actually, but... 200 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,094 - I'm really proud of you, man. - Yeah, thanks. 201 00:10:58,167 --> 00:11:00,897 - You've come a long way. - What do you mean? 202 00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:04,997 You guys are running the hottest gay bar in Philadelphia. 203 00:11:21,525 --> 00:11:24,222 No! What in the hell is your problem? 204 00:11:24,295 --> 00:11:26,957 How could you not tell me you were gay? 205 00:11:27,031 --> 00:11:30,933 I'm a musical theater actor living in Philadelphia. I didn't think it was that big a secret. 206 00:11:31,002 --> 00:11:33,197 I've been coming on to you for weeks now. 207 00:11:33,271 --> 00:11:35,899 - Just thought you were into gay dudes. - I am not into gay dudes! 208 00:11:35,973 --> 00:11:38,306 - Apparently you are. - Okay, well, you know what? 209 00:11:38,377 --> 00:11:41,210 The guys hired you to promote their bar, and you turned it into a gay bar. 210 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,214 They are not happy. 211 00:11:47,286 --> 00:11:49,220 - So much money! - Whoo! 212 00:11:49,288 --> 00:11:52,850 Oh! So much money! We made more money in one night... 213 00:11:52,926 --> 00:11:56,225 Th-Than in the entire time that we've owned this place! 214 00:11:56,296 --> 00:11:58,230 We have to embrace the situation. 215 00:11:58,298 --> 00:12:00,232 We should totally embrace the situation! 216 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,165 - We're a gay bar from now on. - Absolutely, man! 217 00:12:02,235 --> 00:12:04,226 No goddamn way. 218 00:12:04,304 --> 00:12:06,239 Have you guys seen this? 219 00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:09,242 "Looking for that new hot spot to spot that stud? 220 00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,744 Well, Paddy's Irish Pub has plugged that hole." 221 00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:13,746 - That's a nice notice. - No, it's not nice. 222 00:12:13,814 --> 00:12:15,839 I don't want to be plugging anybody's holes. 223 00:12:15,916 --> 00:12:18,316 - I'm gonna have to agree with Mac. - Of course you are. 224 00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:20,946 I made $300 last night. How much did you make? 225 00:12:21,022 --> 00:12:24,219 First of all, that's rude. And that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. 226 00:12:24,292 --> 00:12:26,226 It has everything to do with it. 227 00:12:26,294 --> 00:12:28,728 I don't think we have much of a choice. We need to do this. 228 00:12:28,797 --> 00:12:33,166 If you guys remember, one of the major reasons we got this bar was to get laid. 229 00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:36,467 Maybe you did it to get laid. I got a little something I like to call business ethics. 230 00:12:36,539 --> 00:12:40,908 Business ethics? The only reason you don't care is you have black girls hanging all over you. 231 00:12:42,778 --> 00:12:45,076 Okay, chill out. You're gonna screw it up. 232 00:12:45,147 --> 00:12:48,015 Screw it up? I happen to have a date with a nice young lady today. 233 00:12:48,085 --> 00:12:50,713 - Ouch. - It's a purely fiscal decision. 234 00:12:50,787 --> 00:12:53,847 Oh, bullshit. You don't care about the money. You just like the attention. 235 00:12:53,924 --> 00:12:56,791 - What the hell is that supposed to mean? - "Everybody look at me!" 236 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,760 You know exactly what I mean, pretty boy. 237 00:12:58,829 --> 00:13:00,729 - Hey, handsome. - Hey, beautiful. 238 00:13:00,797 --> 00:13:02,766 - Hey, sexy. - Hey, hoss. 239 00:13:02,834 --> 00:13:06,270 - I just get along really well with those guys. - They're vibing. 240 00:13:06,337 --> 00:13:10,068 No, you're leading them on. You're not gay, you're just really vain. 241 00:13:10,141 --> 00:13:13,110 Okay, time out. Here's what we should do. Let's take a vote. 242 00:13:13,177 --> 00:13:15,112 - Fine. - Okay. 243 00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:18,445 All those in favor of Paddy's Pub remaining a gay bar, say "aye." 244 00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:20,451 - Aye. - Aye. Opposed? 245 00:13:20,519 --> 00:13:23,454 - K-K-Keeping in mind that you don't get a vote. - Why? 246 00:13:23,522 --> 00:13:26,889 - Because you're the bartender. You're not one of the owners. - No, Sweet Dee gets a vote. 247 00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:29,554 - No, she doesn't! - Of course I get a vote! 248 00:13:31,831 --> 00:13:34,800 All owners opposed, say "nay." 249 00:13:34,868 --> 00:13:37,803 All people who own the bar who are opposed, say "nay." 250 00:13:37,871 --> 00:13:40,738 All people who own the bar who are opposed... 251 00:13:40,807 --> 00:13:42,776 say "nay." 252 00:13:44,512 --> 00:13:46,412 Nay. 253 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,448 - Two against one! Oh, well. - Ohh! 254 00:13:48,516 --> 00:13:52,077 Paddy's Irish Pub will henceforth remain the hottest gay bar in Philadelphia. 255 00:14:04,332 --> 00:14:06,766 - Hey-hey! What's going on? - Hey! 256 00:14:06,835 --> 00:14:10,067 - Look at you! You look good! - Oh, thank you. That's so sweet. 257 00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:13,074 - So, where we going? - Well, I thought we'd go grab a drink. 258 00:14:13,142 --> 00:14:15,770 - Oh, I want one so bad. - All righty! 259 00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,006 Oh, a coffee shop. 260 00:14:18,081 --> 00:14:20,675 I thought you meant, like, a drink at a bar. 261 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:23,583 Yeah, absolutely. Uh, why don't you have a seat here. 262 00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:26,589 I'll go get the coffee. What would you like? 263 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,784 - I don't really drink coffee. Let me see. - Totally. 264 00:14:33,897 --> 00:14:35,797 What do you want, Charlie? 265 00:14:35,866 --> 00:14:37,835 "What do you want, Charlie?" 266 00:14:37,902 --> 00:14:40,837 I'd like you to take a look at the lovely young African-American woman... 267 00:14:40,905 --> 00:14:42,668 sitting at the table over there. 268 00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:45,504 Okay. 269 00:14:45,577 --> 00:14:47,704 That woman is my friend. 270 00:14:47,779 --> 00:14:49,804 Wow. Good for you. 271 00:14:49,881 --> 00:14:52,817 So, the other day when you heard me saying something... 272 00:14:52,885 --> 00:14:55,319 about certain people hanging from said rafters... 273 00:14:55,387 --> 00:14:58,254 I was quoting a friend of mine who also happens... 274 00:14:58,324 --> 00:15:01,259 What are you trying to say? Spit it out. 275 00:15:01,327 --> 00:15:04,763 Well, now that you know that I'm not racist, you and I could maybe go on... 276 00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:06,765 Dude, N-O. 277 00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:09,768 - How many times do I have to say it to you? - One time is fine. 278 00:15:09,836 --> 00:15:14,034 - Apparently one time is not fine. - One time per time I ask you. 279 00:15:14,107 --> 00:15:16,200 Hey, what's going on up here? 280 00:15:16,276 --> 00:15:18,244 Oh, not too much. 281 00:15:18,311 --> 00:15:22,681 Charlie's using you to prove that he's not racist. Then he asked me out on a date. 282 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:25,480 Charlie, is this true? 283 00:15:27,522 --> 00:15:31,049 Would that upset you if it was something that was true? 284 00:15:33,162 --> 00:15:36,097 - You need to see a doctor. This thing looks really bad. - I did! 285 00:15:36,165 --> 00:15:39,601 - What'd he say? - He said that Janell punched me in my eye! 286 00:15:39,668 --> 00:15:42,603 All right, well, you need to keep that i... 287 00:15:42,671 --> 00:15:44,605 - Wait. Her name's Janell? - Yeah. 288 00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:47,609 Janell Jenkins. She's got a hell of a right hand. 289 00:15:47,677 --> 00:15:51,613 She also said if she ever saw me again, she was going to slit my throat. 290 00:15:51,681 --> 00:15:54,013 Are you two seeing this? 291 00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,075 Boys are out tonight, huh? 292 00:15:58,221 --> 00:16:00,656 This is unbelievable. What is going on here? 293 00:16:00,724 --> 00:16:03,591 You got black women crawling all over you... 294 00:16:03,661 --> 00:16:05,925 and this Mary here is the belle of the ball. 295 00:16:05,996 --> 00:16:09,056 - Why do these people like you guys so much? - It's not that they like us. 296 00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:12,068 It's that they don't like you. You know why? 297 00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,195 Uh, because you're an asshole! 298 00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,176 Is that true? 299 00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:21,178 Yeah, kind of. 300 00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:23,578 Can I talk to you in back for a second? 301 00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:29,655 - What's up? - You know that girl Janell? I know her. 302 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:33,419 - Okay. So what? - So I think I know how we can solve this whole gay mess. 303 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,653 Great. How? 304 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:38,663 We gotta start with Dennis. Can you get him so drunk tonight? On tequila. 305 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,791 But a lot of it. Enough that maybe he might hurt himself. 306 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,837 - Yeah, sure. No problem. - All right. 307 00:16:43,904 --> 00:16:47,465 - Where are you going? - I gotta talk to a couple friends from my acting class. 308 00:16:47,541 --> 00:16:50,169 But seriously... blackout drunk. 309 00:16:56,918 --> 00:16:58,852 All right. Okay. 310 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,788 So you did the lime first, and then the shot, right? 311 00:17:02,857 --> 00:17:05,417 No. No, no, no, no. Dude. 312 00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:07,927 - You take the salt... - Take the salt. 313 00:17:07,996 --> 00:17:09,931 And then you take the shot. 314 00:17:09,999 --> 00:17:11,933 Okay. 315 00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:15,061 - And then you suck on the lime. Okay? - Okay. 316 00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:19,164 Why don't you show me again. 'Cause I'm getting a little bit confused. 317 00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:22,108 - You lick it. - Salt. Lick it. 318 00:17:22,177 --> 00:17:24,169 - And then you slam it. - Yeah? 319 00:17:32,088 --> 00:17:33,988 Oh, that's great. 320 00:17:34,057 --> 00:17:36,525 All right, so, I'm gonna do the shot first... 321 00:17:36,593 --> 00:17:40,792 No, no, no, no... Oh... Oh, please, please, dude. You're not listening to me. 322 00:17:40,865 --> 00:17:42,799 Well, I'm just not getting it, bro. 323 00:17:42,867 --> 00:17:44,801 - You do the salt first. - The salt first. 324 00:17:44,869 --> 00:17:47,804 - And then the lime. - Show me again, because I'm not... 325 00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:50,602 The salt first. Then the lime. 326 00:18:06,693 --> 00:18:09,025 Oh, God. 327 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,634 Hello. 328 00:18:16,703 --> 00:18:18,694 Mmm. 329 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,209 Nice. 330 00:18:25,546 --> 00:18:27,707 Beautiful. 331 00:18:33,088 --> 00:18:35,022 Hello, lover. 332 00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:37,024 Whoa! 333 00:18:37,092 --> 00:18:39,822 What the hell! What is going on here? 334 00:18:39,894 --> 00:18:43,227 Relax, stud. You got nothing to be ashamed about. 335 00:18:43,298 --> 00:18:45,266 What the f... What does that mean? 336 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,892 - Did we have... - No. No. 337 00:18:46,969 --> 00:18:50,166 Don't be silly. It was all hands. 338 00:18:50,239 --> 00:18:52,969 How's that ass feelin'? 339 00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:58,276 I'm really glad you decided to embrace this. 340 00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:01,283 - You're doing the right thing, bro. - I think so too, dude. 341 00:19:01,351 --> 00:19:04,218 - I feel really good about broadening my horizons. - It's gonna be fun. 342 00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:06,312 - It's a good business decision. - Yeah! 343 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:10,292 I don't want to own a gay bar anymore. 344 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:12,988 What, dude? Oh, no. What happened? 345 00:19:13,063 --> 00:19:15,999 Just, uh... I was doing some thinking and, you know... 346 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:19,525 We had our little experiment. It was great. But we should go back to normal. 347 00:19:19,604 --> 00:19:23,131 Oh. You had an experiment, and you want to go back to the way it was before the experiment. 348 00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:25,141 - Interesting. - The bar. 349 00:19:25,209 --> 00:19:28,873 We had our experiment with the bar, and it was great. Let's go back to normal. 350 00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:31,882 You're done experimenting? Or are you gonna experiment some more? 351 00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:34,510 - What is this experimenting? - Hey, Dennis! What's up? 352 00:19:34,586 --> 00:19:36,520 Listen, I got you some new CDs. 353 00:19:36,588 --> 00:19:40,183 'Cause the music you had in the jukebox was a little bit stale. 354 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:42,524 Also, we gotta get rid of these shamrocks. 355 00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:45,530 'Cause nothing scares gays and black folks like Irish crap. 356 00:19:45,598 --> 00:19:48,761 - Can we talk for a second in private? - Yeah. No problem. 357 00:19:48,835 --> 00:19:52,703 So, listen, Terrell, it's not really working out. 358 00:19:52,772 --> 00:19:55,297 - We're gonna have to let you go. - I thought you were happy. 359 00:19:55,375 --> 00:20:00,109 No, we were happy. But then Dennis had an experiment, and he wants to go back to normal. 360 00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:03,878 Yeah, we had that experiment... Why do you keep saying it like that? 361 00:20:03,951 --> 00:20:05,851 You guys are being ridiculous. 362 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,787 Yeah, we're being ridiculous! We're making a lot of money! 363 00:20:08,856 --> 00:20:11,417 - Yes! Thank you! - Look, everybody! Sweet Dee's here! 364 00:20:11,493 --> 00:20:14,428 - Hey, everybody! - Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing here? 365 00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:18,091 - Charlie? - What is going on here? You guys know each other? 366 00:20:18,166 --> 00:20:20,498 Yeah! That's the crazy bitch that punched me in my eye! 367 00:20:20,569 --> 00:20:22,901 Charlie! That's my sister. 368 00:20:25,108 --> 00:20:27,838 Now, just to clarify, when you say "sister," you mean... 369 00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:30,310 I mean my sister. 370 00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:32,370 Yes! Okay! This is great! 371 00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:36,077 Because earlier you were implying that I was racist... 372 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,179 because you thought that I was implying that all black people are related. 373 00:20:39,256 --> 00:20:41,747 And then it turns out that you people actually are! 374 00:20:46,363 --> 00:20:50,356 No, that's not what I meant. Hold on a second. I meant that you two actually are. 375 00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:53,768 Mac? Stop talkin'. 376 00:20:58,610 --> 00:21:01,773 Hundred and 11, hundred and 12, hundred and 13... 377 00:21:01,846 --> 00:21:03,780 $114! 378 00:21:03,848 --> 00:21:05,783 - On a Saturday night! - We're back to normal. 379 00:21:05,851 --> 00:21:07,785 We are back to normal. 380 00:21:07,853 --> 00:21:09,787 Mmm. 381 00:21:09,855 --> 00:21:11,789 Dee, I gotta know. 382 00:21:11,857 --> 00:21:15,793 What, exactly, did you tell those guys from your acting class to do to Dennis? 383 00:21:15,861 --> 00:21:18,956 Oh, I forgot to tell you. That didn't work out. 384 00:21:19,032 --> 00:21:22,297 - What? - Yeah, I couldn't get ahold of those guys. 385 00:21:24,070 --> 00:21:26,402 Then why was he so freaked out? 386 00:21:26,473 --> 00:21:28,634 How's that ass feelin'?