1
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,571
I'm confused. Wade who?
2
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,507
Wade Boggs. He's a Hall of Fame baseball guy
3
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,642
who drank 70 beers on
a cross-country flight.
4
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:12,844
We're gonna beat that record.
5
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:14,713
That's why I booked us these tickets.
6
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,799
Uh, I thought we were flying to Los Angeles
for the Women's March.
7
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:21,737
Mm-hmm. You are correct that
this is an all-female flight
8
00:00:21,739 --> 00:00:23,805
on the way to the Women's March...
9
00:00:23,841 --> 00:00:25,540
...but I don't give a shit about that.
10
00:00:25,576 --> 00:00:26,608
It's about the Boggs thing.
11
00:00:26,743 --> 00:00:28,693
I didn't know it was an all-female flight.
12
00:00:28,746 --> 00:00:30,611
That feels dangerous.
13
00:00:30,648 --> 00:00:32,547
What are you... no, hey! Come on!
14
00:00:32,549 --> 00:00:34,587
- Oh!
- Can't smoke on an airplane.
15
00:00:34,622 --> 00:00:36,632
Goddamn, when's the last time you flew?
16
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,571
Yeah, I don't get it. You already did this.
17
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,510
Shouldn't we do our own thing?
Why are we copying the guys?
18
00:00:42,545 --> 00:00:43,709
No, that's the whole point.
19
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,978
It's the same exact thing,
but it's with women.
20
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,847
Right? So it's a new idea.
21
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,799
Okay, I just feel
that if it's all with women,
22
00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:53,742
- then it should be better.
- Why can't we just do the same thing?
23
00:00:53,777 --> 00:00:56,436
Because if we do the same thing
then why are we doing it at all?
24
00:00:56,471 --> 00:00:57,605
Yeah, I got to say I agree with that.
25
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,608
I mean, why can't we just come
up with our own record to break?
26
00:00:59,743 --> 00:01:01,743
Like some badass woman who
could really throw them back?
27
00:01:01,878 --> 00:01:04,575
You know, Judy Garland, Liz Taylor...
28
00:01:04,610 --> 00:01:05,547
Joan Crawford...
29
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,681
Betty Ford!
30
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:08,566
No.
31
00:01:08,574 --> 00:01:10,902
Those are all sad examples of alcohol abuse.
32
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:13,619
The Boggs thing just feels more fun,
you know?
33
00:01:13,654 --> 00:01:16,775
When women do it, it just feels sad.
34
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,744
_
35
00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:45,703
Okay. So, last time,
Mac was commissioner,
36
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,506
but I figured I could
do that and participate
37
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,175
because women are excellent multitaskers.
38
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,643
What kind of plane is this?
39
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,778
How come the coloreds
are allowed to sit up front
40
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,114
with the whites and we're way back here?
41
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:59,734
Wow. I never heard you talk so much.
Truly awful.
42
00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:01,469
What is going on with her?
Why is she so perky?
43
00:02:01,505 --> 00:02:03,739
She ate all her nicotine patches already.
44
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,007
Ate them?! What?
You're not supposed to eat them.
45
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,943
Oh, my God, there was a two-week supply.
46
00:02:08,141 --> 00:02:10,011
You know what? Who cares? Who cares?
47
00:02:10,147 --> 00:02:11,747
In that case, since you're all hopped up,
48
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,998
you be the commissioner. Okay?
49
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,766
Just mark everybody's shirts
every time they finish a beer.
50
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,904
Hello ladies and ladies.
51
00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:21,773
- Yeah!
- My copilot Patricia and I
52
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,509
just wanted to welcome you
aboard our all-female flight
53
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,783
en route to the Women's March.
54
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,799
Hell yeah! Can't wait.
55
00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:32,801
Oh, no. Two women pilots.
56
00:02:32,870 --> 00:02:34,669
- I'm getting out of here.
- No, no, no. S-Sit down.
57
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,337
Sit down.
You're not getting... everything's fine.
58
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,739
You're not getting off. Sit down.
59
00:02:37,808 --> 00:02:39,407
We're in mid-goddamn-air.
You know what? Drink your beer.
60
00:02:39,543 --> 00:02:42,944
That'll calm your nerves. My goodness. Okay.
61
00:02:43,013 --> 00:02:45,546
Keep going like that,
we might have ourselves a real scrimmage.
62
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,365
She's gonna be passed out by Indiana.
63
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,100
Just mark her shirt off while
she's still in the game.
64
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:58,014
_
65
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,179
Was not expecting this line.
66
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:02,714
Why do women pee so much?
67
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,535
Uh, lady, thank you so much
for saving my spot.
68
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,270
- I wasn't.
- All right, shut up.
69
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,138
What's with this line? It hasn't moved.
70
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,541
Excuse me, excuse me.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
71
00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:15,543
Mark me.
72
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,545
All right. Nine, huh?
73
00:03:17,548 --> 00:03:18,547
- Yeah.
- Nine, Waitress.
74
00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:20,282
Very nice. I like that.
75
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,566
Some record chugging. What's your secret?
76
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,169
- I'm an alcoholic.
- That'll do it.
77
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:25,570
Artemis, one? Only one? Come on.
78
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,573
Just feels lazy and uninspired
to do exactly what the men did.
79
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,175
Let's at least beat a female sports star.
80
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:33,578
Ooh, I like that idea. Like who?
81
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,514
Secretariat?
82
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,299
The racehorse?
83
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,267
I like that. Let's beat a Secretariat.
84
00:03:39,402 --> 00:03:41,569
Mm, I don't like that she
was named after a secretary.
85
00:03:41,572 --> 00:03:43,605
She should be a boss. But fine.
86
00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:47,475
I don't get into this bathroom
soon I'm gonna shit my pants!
87
00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:51,346
Yes! Do it! See?
That's what I'm talking about.
88
00:03:51,348 --> 00:03:53,281
Gross-out humor.
It's like taking the original
89
00:03:53,416 --> 00:03:56,234
to the next level. See?
Nobody expects that from women.
90
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,536
It's so much more shocking, isn't it?
91
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,508
Give me that, give me that,
give me that mark.
92
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,243
Oh. Here we go.
93
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,380
Yes. Thank you. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
94
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,582
- I need two more beers.
- We're out.
95
00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:13,200
No problemo.
96
00:04:13,237 --> 00:04:14,502
I planned for this.
97
00:04:17,085 --> 00:04:18,143
Mm-hmm.
98
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,608
They don't check medical bags.
99
00:04:21,408 --> 00:04:22,594
See? The guys didn't do that last time.
100
00:04:22,613 --> 00:04:24,579
How's that for originality?
101
00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:27,531
What-what the hell?
102
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:29,500
Where-where are my beers?
103
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:32,304
Oh, I had to make room
for all my merchandise.
104
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,172
Just, uh, crystals,
worry dolls, dream catchers,
105
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,374
labia rings... your basics.
106
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,444
I'm gonna make big money in California.
107
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,957
- With this crap?
- Yeah.
108
00:04:40,992 --> 00:04:43,181
It's a land of sad,
lonely, desperate women
109
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,466
willing to pay any price
for fake spirituality
110
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,269
and clean orgasms.
111
00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:49,089
Ooh, I want to... I-I want to 'gasm.
112
00:04:49,124 --> 00:04:50,405
See? Lookin' at my first customer.
113
00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:51,672
Yeah, okay, look, I love a scam.
114
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,342
I-I love to scam pathetic,
sad, lonely women.
115
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:55,543
But let's wait till we get to California.
116
00:04:55,579 --> 00:04:57,278
For now, I need to get you drunk.
117
00:04:57,314 --> 00:04:58,413
I need beers. Goddamn it.
118
00:04:58,482 --> 00:04:59,547
All right. Hey, hey!
119
00:04:59,683 --> 00:05:01,633
Hey, you! Servant!
120
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,368
Hold on a sec. Servant.
121
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,569
Oh, dear God.
122
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,172
How do I keep winding up with you people?
123
00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:10,442
Do I know you?
124
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,575
Do you...
125
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,578
I used to work at Guigino's.
126
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,381
And then I moved to Minnesota
127
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,400
and I waited on you guys at the Super Bowl.
128
00:05:19,603 --> 00:05:22,203
- Nothing? Mm?
- Nope.
129
00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:24,233
- Forget it, forget it, forget it.
- Nope. Nope.
130
00:05:24,268 --> 00:05:25,273
What can I do for ya?
131
00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:26,207
Hold on a second.
132
00:05:26,276 --> 00:05:27,342
How come you're a man servant?
133
00:05:27,477 --> 00:05:30,278
Shouldn't there be a woman servant
on an all-female flight?
134
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,345
Well, it's "flight attendant,"
135
00:05:31,381 --> 00:05:32,747
and I actually volunteered,
136
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,234
because I think women have been
disrespected for far too long
137
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:39,437
and I wanted to honor them
and be their champion...
138
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,439
Great. You're a soy boy beta cuck.
139
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,996
- A what?
- Whatever.
140
00:05:43,031 --> 00:05:44,475
Look, uh, we're doing the Boggs thing.
141
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,710
I don't know what that is.
142
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:47,445
Wade Boggs.
143
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,514
Okay. Is that a person's name or...
144
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:53,267
Doesn't matter. Uh, listen, we're gonna need
about 50 beers each, all right?
145
00:05:53,303 --> 00:05:54,468
And you can put it on the Boggs account.
146
00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:57,405
Just make sure you keep all the ladies
in the white tees lubricated.
147
00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,273
Okay. I'm afraid we don't have any beer,
is the thing.
148
00:05:59,309 --> 00:06:00,675
- What? What did you say?
- Yeah.
149
00:06:00,677 --> 00:06:03,411
Uh, in honor of the Women's March,
we are serving pink wine.
150
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,146
So we only have rosé.
151
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,213
- Right. Okay.
- Yeah.
152
00:06:06,249 --> 00:06:07,348
Cute. Great.
153
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,233
Uh, we'll take a shit ton of pink wine.
154
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,602
- Thank you.
- Okay. You're welcome.
155
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,112
Come on. I got news.
156
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,313
I do, too, and it's bad news.
157
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,333
I just found out Secretariat was a boy.
158
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,201
All racehorses are male.
159
00:06:27,237 --> 00:06:30,405
I know, because I find them so attractive.
160
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:34,141
Well, that's messed up.
Why-why woman horses can't race?
161
00:06:34,177 --> 00:06:35,210
They should be able...
162
00:06:35,345 --> 00:06:37,212
They can run just as fast as the boy horses.
163
00:06:37,347 --> 00:06:38,613
- That's not what we're ta...
- They should march.
164
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,481
- Pussies on the track.
- Getting off track. That's not...
165
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,233
- Pussies on the track.
- What are you doing?
166
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,235
- Pussies on the track.
- Shut up! Stop it!
167
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,305
- We should not drink in protest.
- Stop! Shut up! Okay?
168
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,107
Shut up!
169
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:53,311
It's all right. It's all right,
'cause I got a new plan.
170
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,614
Okay? You guys need a female athlete?
171
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,565
Check this out.
172
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:01,535
I happen to know that tennis
great Martina Navratilova
173
00:07:01,571 --> 00:07:04,539
drank 70 beers on a flight to L.A.,
174
00:07:04,541 --> 00:07:06,274
only to wake up the next morning
175
00:07:06,276 --> 00:07:09,411
and beat her rival, Chris Evert,
at the California Open.
176
00:07:09,546 --> 00:07:11,345
- Mm, that's very impressive.
- Mm-hmm.
177
00:07:11,415 --> 00:07:14,298
So now we're gonna try to
beat Martina Tinatinova...
178
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,566
No, goddamn it! We're doing the Boggs thing.
179
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,301
We're still doing the Boggs thing,
180
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:20,304
but you're gonna use Martina
as your inspiration. See? Okay.
181
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,115
And we're also switching to pink wine.
182
00:07:22,215 --> 00:07:24,442
How's that, Artemis, for switching it up?
Trying new stuff?
183
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:28,179
You can't just change one
small specific and call it new.
184
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,247
- I changed three! The wine...
- We're still copying the men.
185
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,333
...the athlete, and the bag!
186
00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:35,202
- I will drink anything that you put in front of me.
- Okay!
187
00:07:35,238 --> 00:07:36,471
Well, there you go. Did you hear that?
188
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,139
You happy? Okay, great.
189
00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:39,274
So, we're all settled.
190
00:07:39,276 --> 00:07:40,475
I just need to do a quick conversion
191
00:07:40,477 --> 00:07:43,144
because beer has a five
percent alcohol content
192
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,346
and rosé has a 12% alcohol content.
193
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,598
Oh, dear! Watching a woman
do math scares me!
194
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,633
Okay, so every little
airplane bottle of wine
195
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,435
will equal 2.4 beers,
196
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,370
so we'd have to drink
197
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:57,108
29.17 bottles of wine
to equal 70 beers. Okay.
198
00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:00,578
So let's just call it
an even 29 to win. Good?
199
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,580
Nerd.
200
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:07,353
_
201
00:08:10,273 --> 00:08:13,490
Oh... We're doing a good job
on those guys, huh? Mmm...
202
00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:16,343
Oh, yeah. We're tearing it up.
Tearing it up.
203
00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:20,214
Yeah. Okay. Whoo!
204
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,034
Man, it is sad that there
are only chicks on this plane
205
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,170
'cause, I mean, I am all horned up.
206
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,305
Well, there is a-a male servant.
207
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,439
Oh, yeah? Hot?
208
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,387
No. Soy boy beta cuck.
209
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,511
I know, but, uh,
don't get distracted by that, okay?
210
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,113
The main reason I picked
an all-female flight
211
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,565
is because sex is how Dennis lost.
212
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:40,240
Oh, Dennis? I-I like to hear about Dennis.
213
00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:41,069
Tell me more.
214
00:08:41,204 --> 00:08:43,404
He and Frank, he...
they made a side bet, you know.
215
00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:44,672
See who could have sex.
216
00:08:44,708 --> 00:08:47,275
And then Dennis ended up
banging this disgusting person,
217
00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:49,410
and then he got off at
North Dakota to avoid her.
218
00:08:49,479 --> 00:08:51,546
He was... He was the first one out.
219
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:55,366
So-so Dennis had sex on the plane,
how-how many women?
220
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,368
- Just the one. Again...
- Hm...
221
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:58,552
...don't get distracted by that.
222
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,304
Well, I'm gonna beat his record.
223
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,306
There's only one man on this flight.
224
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,242
Okay, well, I will figure something out.
225
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,510
No, no, no. Stop. Stop it, okay?
Kno-Knock it off.
226
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,246
You're my Chris Evert.
You're my rival, okay?
227
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,532
The only reason you're here
is so that my hatred of you
228
00:09:11,568 --> 00:09:14,535
can fuel my desire to beat you, okay?
229
00:09:14,604 --> 00:09:16,337
So I need you staying in the game.
230
00:09:16,373 --> 00:09:19,207
Okay. Then I'm gonna beat you, you skank.
231
00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:21,203
Yes. that is the spirit.
232
00:09:21,411 --> 00:09:24,345
The only way to beat men is by
competing against other women.
233
00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:26,481
Here's to that.
234
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,351
Oh.
235
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,375
- Oh, it hurts so much...
- Where the hell is he?
236
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,576
- I dinged that goddamn thing ten years ago.
- Yeah.
237
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,513
So the rose quartz is a healing gemstone,
238
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,599
as well as the lapis lazuli.
239
00:09:44,601 --> 00:09:48,202
And the goddess stone is
for putting up your snatch.
240
00:09:48,205 --> 00:09:50,137
- Only $70, ladies.
- All right. All right.
241
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,539
What the hell is this shit?
What are you doing?
242
00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:53,140
I'm selling my sundries, okay?
243
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:56,344
Why wait for California
when I've got a captive audience right now?
244
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,213
Here. Drink this.
245
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,332
Mm-mm.
246
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,051
What is that? Oh, my God.
247
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,170
Are you trying to poison me?
That's not alcohol.
248
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,224
No, it's my special "uni-tea."
249
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,307
Well, it's selling like hotcakes.
250
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,442
Drink up, ladies.
251
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,111
It helps your prostate.
252
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,113
Women don't have a prostate, goddammit.
253
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,514
Or is that what men want you to believe?
254
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,332
You're supposed to be drinking wines.
255
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,434
You know, you're not supposed
to be selling vag rocks
256
00:10:20,503 --> 00:10:22,136
and-and shit tea.
257
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:25,606
You ca... six?
Six is pathetic, even for you.
258
00:10:25,609 --> 00:10:29,276
No, you know what's pathetic?
Is this Boggs ladies remake.
259
00:10:29,312 --> 00:10:30,344
- Don't do that.
- Huh? Yeah, no.
260
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,413
I will do that. This Boggs is busted,
261
00:10:32,482 --> 00:10:34,399
'cause I'm doing my own thing now.
262
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,367
And it's empowering and communal.
263
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:39,236
Next level shit, right, ladies?
264
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,505
Not to mention I've
already taken these bitches
265
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,239
for three hundo, so, what?
266
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:45,310
All right, goddammit,
Mrs. Mac, Artemis is out.
267
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,312
Yeah. Out... of this world.
268
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,647
Sw... Oh, okay.
269
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,666
All right. Okay.
270
00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:53,267
Yeah.
271
00:10:53,336 --> 00:10:56,204
Yeah, six is a yonic number,
I'm cool with it.
272
00:10:56,206 --> 00:10:58,339
Hey, who wants me to read their moon charts?
273
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,606
- Oh, oh.
- Yes.
274
00:11:02,383 --> 00:11:04,544
_
275
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:07,481
Where's the goddamn drink slave?
276
00:11:07,517 --> 00:11:09,467
Does anybody here do their job?
277
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:14,238
Oh, hello, Deandra.
278
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,573
Hey. 15, huh?
279
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,309
Nice. I underestimated you, champ.
280
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,511
I'm trying to find the guy
to get us some more drinks
281
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,380
to calm your nerves, but I think...
282
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,398
Oh, I don't need any more. I found a man
283
00:11:24,467 --> 00:11:26,167
to help me feel safe.
284
00:11:26,169 --> 00:11:27,602
- Who, the waiter?
- No.
285
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,237
A real man.
286
00:11:35,455 --> 00:11:36,277
Yo!
287
00:11:36,346 --> 00:11:39,080
Frank. What...
What the hell are you doing here?
288
00:11:39,149 --> 00:11:40,214
I'm posting up.
289
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,166
I figure a plane full of broads,
290
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:43,501
there's gonna be a lot of horny women,
291
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,504
so I'm like a spider waiting
back here to catch some flies.
292
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,372
No. No, goddamn it.
293
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,507
This is my all-female version.
294
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:51,175
You're not supposed to be here.
295
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,377
Whe... In every reboot
you gotta have somebody
296
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,446
from the original to make a cameo.
297
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:57,181
- No.
- Hey.
298
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,399
I heard there's a man back here.
299
00:11:58,435 --> 00:12:01,135
Oh. Nope. It's just you.
300
00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:02,603
- Want to rumble?
- No, I don't,
301
00:12:02,605 --> 00:12:06,274
but I do want to beat Dennis,
so just pop it in.
302
00:12:09,279 --> 00:12:11,346
I'm gonna need more wine.
303
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,081
Whoa, whoa, whoa, drink slave.
304
00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:14,348
Been looking all over the damn plane.
305
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,566
I need more five more bottles.
306
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,101
Sorry, that is not possible.
307
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,104
One of our premier passengers just bought
the rest of the bottles on the plane.
308
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,439
What? Who?
309
00:12:22,796 --> 00:12:25,375
Whoa. Coach people
are not allowed in first class.
310
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,111
Oh.
311
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,247
Okay, so I'm a second-class person?
312
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,432
- Mm.
- Is that 'cause I'm a woman?
313
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,133
- Did you hear that, ladies?!
- That's not what I said.
314
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,268
Oh, Oh, my God!
315
00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:37,204
Did you just try and slap me in my face?
316
00:12:37,273 --> 00:12:40,074
- No.
- Oh, you better say cheese, buddy,
317
00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:42,276
'cause you're about to go viral.
318
00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:44,278
- Got to connect the Wi-Fi...
- Oh, she picked up.
319
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,613
- Oh, hi, Dee.
- Hey. Hi.
320
00:12:46,649 --> 00:12:48,299
What are you guys doing on my phone?
321
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,235
How many checks do you have on your...
322
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,570
- It's only got 20-20 beers.
- No.
323
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,239
- We knew you wouldn't do it.
- No, 20 wines. I sw...
324
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,574
- We had to switch to wine.
- Three beers. Three beers.
325
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,242
- They ran out of the beers.
- We knew you wouldn't do it.
326
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,311
Wine has a higher blood alcohol content.
327
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:03,580
They switched to wine
'cause of Women's March.
328
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,466
- There is no smoking in here.
- A higher blood alcohol...
329
00:13:05,502 --> 00:13:07,134
Whoever's in there...
Is this a friend of yours?
330
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:08,369
- Who is this?
- Oh, my God.
331
00:13:08,438 --> 00:13:10,070
- Goddamn it, Mrs. Mac.
- Hello?
332
00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:11,205
Hello?
333
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,541
- It's the women pilots!
- What? No.
334
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,477
Oh, we're all gonna crash!
335
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,212
No, we're not. Ma'am. Ma'am.
336
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,080
I've got to get out of here!
337
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:22,432
- We're fine, calm down.
- You've got to take over the controls!
338
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,368
All right, where's the wine?
339
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,104
Which one of you
first-class assholes decided
340
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,372
to go and take all the wine?
341
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,307
'Cause I'm gonna be needing
a fe-a few of 'em back.
342
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,509
Looking for this?
343
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,448
- Snail?
- Yeah.
344
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:40,200
Heard you were doing the
Boggs Soggs lady reboot thing.
345
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,136
Did you lose my invitation?
346
00:13:42,138 --> 00:13:43,337
No. You weren't invited.
347
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:46,206
Come on. You don't want the coolest chick
in the world around?
348
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,342
You're so jealous, obvi.
349
00:13:48,478 --> 00:13:51,411
I'm not jealous of you, I didn't invite you
because you're the worst.
350
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,430
Oh, really?
'Cause I'm gonna ruin your game now.
351
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:54,631
Good luck beating the guys.
352
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,501
You're stuck at 20,
'cause I bought all the wine.
353
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,436
Mm-mmm.
354
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,372
- I'm gonna salt you, Snail! Back!
- Mm-mmm... Mm!
355
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,108
Stop it! Help me!
356
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:06,377
- Stewardess!
- Oh, what now?
357
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,046
♪ When funny little men ♪
358
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,265
♪ Are walking down the golden road ♪
359
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,534
♪ Rainbows, rainbows and wine... ♪
360
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:16,136
Oh, wine. May I borrow this?
361
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,472
Thank you.
362
00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:20,274
She's gone full Judy Garland.
363
00:14:20,409 --> 00:14:22,076
Isn't it glorious?
364
00:14:22,145 --> 00:14:23,611
All right.
Well, you don't do the mic thing, though.
365
00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:26,229
- The mic thing... Uh, the mic thing is my thing.
- ♪ Rainbows and wine ♪
366
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,565
- ♪ Rainbows and... ♪ No! no!
- Yeah. Yeah, I did the mic thing last time and it killed,
367
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:32,036
but when you do it,
it just seems to be depressing and sad.
368
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:36,040
That's because when women drink,
it is depressing and sad.
369
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:39,176
I had sex in the bathroom with Frank,
370
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:43,180
and now I'm in a shame spiral.
371
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,315
I'm gonna drink myself to death.
372
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:47,401
Okay, there you go.
Whatever keeps you going.
373
00:14:47,537 --> 00:14:50,137
Stand up, though, okay?
Stand up, though, Waitress.
374
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:52,540
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no. Stay with me. Hey.
375
00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:55,209
- Stay with me. Hang in there.
- Dennis.
376
00:14:55,278 --> 00:14:57,277
Not Dennis! Don't-don't do...
377
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,279
Don't touch me, okay? Wake up. We're not...
378
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,099
Goddamn it.
We're not even halfway to California.
379
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,435
Step aside, Dee, and let me do my job.
380
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,371
Fine. Goddamn it.
381
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,818
_
382
00:15:19,202 --> 00:15:21,135
Giving up so easy?
383
00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:25,339
Martina Navratilova?
384
00:15:25,474 --> 00:15:28,378
I never thought you'd give
up when you're so close
385
00:15:28,413 --> 00:15:29,410
to beating the record.
386
00:15:30,085 --> 00:15:31,278
I can't do it, Marty.
387
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,480
- Don't call me that.
- Well, I'm all out of booze,
388
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,232
and I'm all out of motivation.
389
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,858
Right? 'Cause my competition
pussed out, up there.
390
00:15:38,476 --> 00:15:39,636
And this one back here.
391
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,572
It was my hatred for them
that kept me going.
392
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,109
It's not about hating your opponent.
393
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:47,445
Chris Evert and I were
actually good friends.
394
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,379
We'd play a hard match,
395
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,399
but then go out for dinner after.
396
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:54,468
Male opponents had the
luxury of hating each other.
397
00:15:54,504 --> 00:15:57,338
But, as women, we had to stick together
398
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:59,340
to fight for the respect we deserve
399
00:15:59,342 --> 00:16:01,475
and grow the sport.
400
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,544
- Get it?
- Yeah.
401
00:16:03,679 --> 00:16:05,613
You and Chris were...
402
00:16:05,682 --> 00:16:07,348
No.
403
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:09,033
- No.
- No.
404
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,235
- Okay, I don't get it.
- You and your friends need to...
405
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,037
- You know what? Forget it.
- What?
406
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,305
You're using me as inspiration,
407
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,239
but you don't know anything about me.
408
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,509
- I don't even look like this.
- Yeah, you do.
409
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:22,313
No, it's just your imagination
filling in the blanks.
410
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,582
Really?
411
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,200
Now you're imagining me as Lori Petty
412
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,469
in A League of Their Own.
413
00:16:28,538 --> 00:16:30,337
That was a good female reboot.
414
00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:32,272
No, it was its own thing.
415
00:16:32,308 --> 00:16:35,142
And just so you know, I never drank 70 beers
416
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,545
before winning the California Open.
417
00:16:37,547 --> 00:16:39,413
That's not even a real event.
418
00:16:39,482 --> 00:16:42,266
Your whole hallucination is a mess.
419
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,201
Who cares? Tennis is boring.
420
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,269
Let's face it,
I'm not gonna find my Chris Evert
421
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,404
in this sea of duds.
422
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,340
It's over.
423
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:53,277
Deandra, you should have let
them crazy boys do this.
424
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,411
Well, now, don't you start.
425
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,279
I'll be your Chris Evert.
426
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,499
No, get out of here, Snail.
I don't respect you.
427
00:16:58,568 --> 00:17:00,167
Oh, yeah? Well, respect this.
428
00:17:00,302 --> 00:17:01,635
I've been playing the game the whole time.
429
00:17:01,671 --> 00:17:04,171
You're one behind me, loser.
430
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,207
Snail.
431
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,244
Let's do this.
432
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,542
Too much spit.
433
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,077
Ah, I did it! I did it.
434
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:29,413
I'm Mar-I'm Martina!
435
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,233
It's okay, baby girl. It's over.
436
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:34,168
I know it's over.
437
00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:35,369
'Cause I beat Martina.
438
00:17:35,371 --> 00:17:37,237
I beat Boggs.
439
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,239
I'm about to beat all of 'em.
440
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,241
No. It's over.
441
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,511
I'm pulling the plug on
your male hand-me-down plot.
442
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:47,180
As women, we deserve better.
443
00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:49,400
We deserve our own story.
444
00:17:50,851 --> 00:17:51,801
What is happening?
445
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:56,140
That tea that I served
was spiked with ayahuasca.
446
00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:10,438
Oh, no!
447
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:12,372
It's coming out both ends.
448
00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:16,444
The maximum gross-out.
449
00:18:16,579 --> 00:18:19,446
So nobody saw that coming from women.
450
00:18:31,835 --> 00:18:34,879
God, wha... What is going on?
I'm tripping so hard.
451
00:18:36,056 --> 00:18:37,070
Where are we?
452
00:18:37,105 --> 00:18:38,282
Are we in L.A.?
453
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,367
- No. We're in North Dakota.
- Mm.
454
00:18:40,403 --> 00:18:43,103
And only those passengers deemed fit to fly
455
00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:45,039
will go on to Los Angeles.
456
00:18:45,174 --> 00:18:46,440
And you're not one of them.
457
00:18:46,509 --> 00:18:48,175
- No.
- Oh. Wait.
458
00:18:48,177 --> 00:18:50,177
One more thing.
459
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,479
Mm...
460
00:18:54,517 --> 00:18:56,399
Okay.
461
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,269
Bye-bye. Thank you for flying with us.
462
00:19:03,992 --> 00:19:06,444
California, USA.
463
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,382
- Meh.
- Mmm...
464
00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:19,039
Meh.
465
00:19:53,043 --> 00:19:55,043
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com