1
00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:04,003
(children coughing)
2
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,645
Oh, Christ, does every single
one of these kids have the flu?
3
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,481
Seems like it.
4
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,449
All right, now I bet you guys
are wondering what's going on
5
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,485
with this racing suit, huh?
No, not even a little bit.
6
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:20,953
You're like, "What's that
rascal Charlie up to?
7
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:22,988
What's he up to this time?"
Right, right?
8
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,056
I'm not thinking that at all.
Yeah, yeah, well,
9
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,225
it's an issue
of aerodynamics, really.
10
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,293
You see, every second counts
in the water park.
Right.
11
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,662
And we plan to ride every
single ride in there today.
Yup.
12
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,231
Yeah, the brochure
says three days.
13
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,232
We're saying bullshit
to that. One day.
14
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,666
We're gonna get it done in one.
15
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,368
All right, well, good luck with
that 'cause you got, like,
16
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,037
ten minutes of clean water
and then every slide's basically
17
00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,405
a urine delivery system.
18
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,672
Yeah.
(laughs)
MAC: We're not gonna get
19
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,074
drenched in piss.
No.
20
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,709
We're gonna go in there,
find our favorite ride,
21
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,244
bomb down it once, Yeah.
22
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,746
Then sit by the pool the
rest of the day disease-free.
23
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,081
Don't kid yourself
about the water, buddy.
24
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,082
You're not gonna be
disease-free;
25
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,216
This water's already infested
26
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,484
with every parasite
on the planet.
27
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,752
And I, for one,
have no intention
28
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,087
of stepping foot in any of it.
29
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,655
So what do you come
to a water park for?
30
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,892
Hot food, cold beer,
bikini'd women seeking relief
31
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,827
from the insufferable
prison of motherhood.
32
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,328
Yeah, lot of pleasures
to be had at the park, Frank.
33
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:04,930
None of which involve piss.
Hmm.
34
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,765
And it's all free, too,
if you know how to get it.
35
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,400
Well, it's not free,
you got to pay to get in.
36
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,836
Not me, I had my bracelet
laminated in the '90s.
37
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,771
I haven't paid to get in here
since I was 14.
38
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,240
Nice!
Nice, nice.
Oh, smart.
39
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,676
Oh, shush! Shush, shush, shush,
shush, they're about to open!
Why do we have to shush?
40
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,211
Oh, guys!
I almost forgot.
41
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,013
Do not go near the pool drains,
42
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,415
no matter how good you might
think they feel on your butt.
43
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,050
What?
Huh?
What?
44
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,518
You do not sit on those!
45
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,120
You know, because of the suction
on your butthole?
46
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,721
No one's thinking
about that, man.
(all disagreeing)
47
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,023
No one's thinking
about that at all.
48
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:33,058
Oh, good, 'cause it is bad news.
49
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,127
Those things will suck the
intestines right out of you.
50
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,529
Like it did to
that one kid back in '96.
51
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,098
Now, she had to chew through
her intestines
52
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,599
just to get free.
CHARLIE:
When I see the drain,
53
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,034
I'm not gonna go
try and sit on it.
54
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,402
Oh, here we go.
Okay, here we go!
Here we go!
55
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,204
We got to go!
Get in there!
56
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:46,939
Go! Go! Go!
Christ!
57
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,007
♪ ♪
58
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,663
♪ Kiddie Twister ♪
59
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:15,434
♪ Kiddie Twister ♪
60
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,069
Here we go, here we go,
here we go!
61
00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:19,805
Yeah, Kiddie Twister!
I'm so excited.
62
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,074
It's been, like, 20 years.
What's that?
63
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,509
Uh, it's a urine tester.
64
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,110
Just want to be 100% sure.
65
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:27,513
It turns light red at
the slightest hint of piss.
66
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,948
And I think we're good.
Let's roll.
67
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,183
Hey, guys, guys, guys.
68
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,584
Slide's for kids only.
69
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,920
Size requirement.
70
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,488
Shut up, nerd!
71
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,956
(laughs)
(whoops)
72
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,025
Kiddie Twister!
73
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,527
(whoops)
74
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,162
Screw you, nerd!
75
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,797
You're gonna get hurt
Uh, come on, nerd.
76
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,266
(laughs)
77
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,001
Whoo-hoo!
Kiddie Twister!
78
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,203
I don't give a shit.
79
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,138
MAC:
Kiddie Twister!
80
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,773
(whoops)
81
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,109
Kiddie Twis... oh, shit!
82
00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,444
Kiddie Twister!
Wait, Dee, no!
83
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,313
No, I'm stuck, wait!
(Dee yells)
84
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,382
BOTH:
Ow!
85
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:04,683
Shit!
(Dee yells)
86
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,218
Ow! Ow, Dee, I'm stuck!
87
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,653
Yeah, no shit!
88
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,354
Dee, you got to move.
Me move? You move.
89
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,056
You're blocking me.
90
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:13,358
Your stupid wrist band got us
all jammed up.
91
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,027
It's not just that.
(grunting)
92
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,729
The slide's too small,
the nerd was right.
93
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,631
Shit, what are we gonna do?
94
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,733
Uh... okay.
Just remain calm, all right?
95
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,502
Do not panic, that's the worst
thing you can do.
96
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,337
Okay, but we got to get unstuck
before they send another kid
97
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,172
because... oh, God,
98
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,174
some big, fat kid's just gonna
come blasting down on us.
99
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:32,077
MAC: You're gonna be fine.
Trust me.
(thud, both yell)
100
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,979
Shit!
Goddamn it!
101
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,314
Jesus Christ!
102
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,916
FRANK:
This is slow, Charlie.
103
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,484
I'm never gonna get
through this crap.
104
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,820
We should've gone down
the first slide we saw.
105
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,056
I know, I know, but we needed
to start at the northmost point
106
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,324
of the park, right?
(groans)
107
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,259
Then we work our way south,
Yeah.
108
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,661
And that cuts back on the excess
running back and forth.
Oh, yeah.
109
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,363
You know, that said,
I'm sorry I got us so lost.
110
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,498
I can't ever tell which way
is north on a map.
111
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,067
It's at the top.
112
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,502
I thought north was, like, up.
"Up"?
113
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,571
Yeah, like if I turn the map
this way, now where is north?
114
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,240
Still at the top of the... no.
Down?
115
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,675
Now, come on,
Charlie, this is ridiculous.
It's confusing, right?
116
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,077
We got to get going here.
117
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,045
I know, goddamn it.
Where's he going?
118
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,081
Coming through.
Excuse us.
What, what?
119
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,616
How come he can
cut to the front?
120
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,284
Oh, Ethan is here
with a special program
121
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:13,619
for children with leukemia,
122
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,088
so he skips to the
front of the line.
123
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,356
Thank you!
124
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,591
Coming through.
125
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,393
FRANK:
AIDS!
126
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,462
AIDS, I got AIDS. I got AIDS,
we're coming through.
127
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,597
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
Cutting through.
128
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,866
I'm his doctor, my patient's got
to get to the front of the line
Yeah.
129
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,568
Because he has AIDS.
I got the AIDS.
130
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,603
He got it from a gay guy
in the '80s.
131
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,871
I'm not gay, I didn't... but...
Well...
132
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,439
There's two kind of AIDS...
133
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,475
There's the vagina AIDS
and then the needle-based AIDS.
134
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,410
I-I'm a vagina guy.
135
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,445
Well, no, actually my test
results show
I got... sorry, I'm... AIDS.
136
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,713
That it was the gay AIDS.
137
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,048
All AIDS are bad.
Well...
138
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,283
That's... no good AIDS.
139
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:45,951
But I'm telling you,
like I said,
140
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,452
this is not the gay AIDS.
141
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,454
(indistinct chatter, splashing)
142
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,065
Lie back down.
143
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,073
One of these
little stinkers yours?
144
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,308
My son.
145
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,575
This one here?
146
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:11,943
WOMAN:
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah,
147
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,245
he's adorable.
(chuckling)
148
00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:14,246
You?
149
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:16,248
Oh, daughter, yeah.
150
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,350
I try to take her
to fun places like this.
151
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,018
Let a little sunshine
back into her life
152
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,753
ever since her mom...
153
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,657
Oh, my God.
Did she...
154
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,526
Die horrifically?
155
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:28,860
Yeah.
156
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,495
Drowning.
Kind of ironic,
157
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,663
us being at a water park,
158
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,332
but, you know, you got to...
159
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,200
you got to roll
with the punches, you know?
160
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,835
Got to get back out there
and live life...
161
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,171
Daddy, Daddy, can I borrow $20?
162
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,439
What?
163
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,374
Oh, hi there, what's your name?
164
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,642
Abby.
165
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,876
I'm hungry, Daddy.
166
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,745
Can I please have $20?
167
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,848
Well, I think you can get
something to eat
168
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,616
for a lot less than that, hon.
169
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:52,951
Dad!
170
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,453
I'm hungry, I'm starving,
171
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,588
and you haven't
given me any money.
172
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,958
(sighs)
Yeah.
173
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,193
What the hell?
174
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,394
(chuckles)
175
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:06,231
Anything for my little...
Abby. (chuckles)
176
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:13,372
Interesting.
177
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,708
What's interesting?
178
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,377
Nothing.
179
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,644
I'm done with you.
180
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,946
Keep up.
181
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,688
Aah! Jesus.
You'd think all the pressure
would blast us through.
182
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,157
No, it's just squeezing me
further into the stuck!
183
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,658
Okay, well,
get-get the bracelet off.
184
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,494
Just rip it off.
Dee, I'm trying.
185
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,329
I can't get any
actual leverage on it.
186
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:38,563
Besides, it's
triple-laminated.
187
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,898
It's not just gonna rip.
Oh, no.
188
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,333
I think someone peed.
What?!
189
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,567
Sherman, did you pee?
190
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,336
No.
Sherman, my vial
191
00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,737
is turning light pink.
MAC:
Ugh...
192
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,273
goddamn it, Sherman,
I ordered you not to pee!
193
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,242
Sorry!
Oh, disgusting!
194
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,576
Sorry's not gonna
cut it, Sherman,
195
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,044
it's not gonna cut it.
Nobody else pee!
196
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,279
Ah, the sun's just blasting me
197
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:55,547
right in the face.
198
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,915
Why does it have
to be right there?
199
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,950
Dee, if God put the sun there,
200
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,552
there's probably a reason, okay?
201
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,053
Don't question him;
We need God!
202
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,055
God didn't put the sun anywhere.
203
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,691
The sun stays still;
The Earth moves around it.
204
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,126
(all scream)
205
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,594
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Okay. All right.
206
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,630
We gotta get
these kids out of here.
207
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,598
All right. I'm going for it.
I'm just pulling on one of 'em.
208
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,735
Come on. Ah, this friggin'
dome's like a magnifying glass.
209
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,036
(groaning)
210
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,805
MAC:
Get him through,
I can get him.
211
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,440
(Mac grunts)
212
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,575
DEE: Get help.
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
213
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,577
Kid, kid, kid, listen.
Come here.
214
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,245
Before you go,
215
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,548
no matter how alluring it is,
216
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,383
do not put your genitals
or your butthole
217
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,918
near the pool drain.
You got it?
218
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,553
In fact, cover
your butthole.
DEE: Okay, go.
219
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,555
Okay, kid.
Go, kid, go!
Come on. Go.
220
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,789
Cover that butthole, kid!
221
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,458
Mac. Stop talking to children
222
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,725
about their buttholes, okay?
223
00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:41,927
It's not
appropriate.
Okay.
224
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,261
Okay.
225
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,663
Uh, I think we gotta get
another kid out.
226
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,964
You know what?
227
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,632
What about this one?
228
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,167
That kid looks passed out, Dee.
229
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,669
Yeah, he's out cold, but I think
230
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,270
I can maneuver
his body pretty easily.
231
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,139
Yeah, but if we send him
down there, he might drown.
232
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:57,042
Guys, I gotta take a poop.
233
00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,845
(Mac and Dee grunt)
234
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:07,419
♪ ♪
235
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,291
MAN: I see you stealing.
ABBY:
I wasn't stealing them!
236
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,693
I just forgot
I was wearing them!
237
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,261
Let go of me!
238
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,596
My dad's a cop!
239
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,298
Abigail!
What is going on in here?
240
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,000
Where have you been? I've
been worried sick about you.
241
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,602
This your daughter?
Yes.
242
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,170
Officer Dennis Reynolds.
243
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,605
Hi. Off-duty, of course.
244
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,473
This is your jurisdiction.
245
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:29,875
Look, I caught her
stealing sunglasses.
Yeah?
246
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,776
No, I didn't!
I was just...
Abigail,
247
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,478
I gave you $20 to buy
whatever you wanted.
248
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,040
What happened to that?
Do you still have it?
249
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,316
Yes.
250
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,878
Well, then you need to
pay for these sunglasses.
251
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,122
Actually, no.
You know what?
252
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,624
On second thought, no.
253
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,325
You don't get the sunglasses.
254
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,561
You need to be
taught a lesson.
I think that she gets...
255
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,196
I really appreciate
everything that you do.
256
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,532
Real police officer
to security guard,
257
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,200
honestly, I want
to thank you for everything.
258
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,068
Thanks.
This little girl,
259
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,403
she's gonna be
grounded for a month.
260
00:08:58,405 --> 00:08:59,971
Come on, Abigail, let's go.
261
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,974
Try to touch me,
and I'll scream "rape."
262
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,342
Please.
263
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,677
I see the road
you're headed down:
264
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,145
The lying, the stealing,
all of it.
265
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,380
And as somebody who's
been down that road,
266
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,681
let me tell you something:
267
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,883
You've got real talent.
268
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,819
Okay... Mmm.
269
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,054
That ought to work.
270
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,355
What are you doing?
271
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,757
Oh, it's a simple lunch play.
272
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,425
I tell the burger stand
273
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,193
some hyperactive brat knocked
my food on the ground,
274
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,695
they replace it,
no questions asked.
275
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,363
I usually just swipe a burger
276
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,365
off some dumb-ass family
while they're not looking.
277
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,034
Well, that begs
the question, Abigail:
278
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,703
You want to be a thief
or do you want to be an artist?
279
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,371
You see, an artist
takes whatever
280
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,840
he wants when somebody's
looking right at him.
281
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:42,047
These are too small for me.
Yeah.
282
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,916
You get the point.
Yeah.
283
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,185
♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
284
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,354
♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
285
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,790
♪ Pick up the crew
in-a de area ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
286
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,872
♪ Still love you like that ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
287
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,228
♪ No, no, we don't die ♪
288
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,397
♪ Yes, we multiply ♪
289
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,399
I got AIDS, AIDS.
AIDS! Guy with AIDS,
coming through.
290
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,435
AIDS, coming through.
AIDS, AIDS...
291
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,537
AIDS!
Hey, man, go through.
Hey, go for it, go, go, go!
292
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,205
No, you need a raft!
You need a raft!
293
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,274
(whooping)
♪ I know what Bo don't know ♪
294
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,210
♪ Touch them up and go, uh-oh ♪
295
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,045
♪ Ch-Ch-Chang-chang ♪
296
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,246
♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
297
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,247
♪ I'm the lyrical gangster... ♪
298
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,617
(both shouting excitedly)
299
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,919
♪ Excuse me, Mr. Officer ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
300
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,454
♪ Still love you like that ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
301
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,422
Ah! Ah!
Ow!
302
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,757
♪ Extraordinary ♪
Go.
303
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:28,793
♪ Juice like a strawberry ♪
Go.
304
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,762
My camera!
Oh, great, your camera.
305
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,130
I was really worried about that.
306
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,832
This is my watch.
307
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:37,802
♪ Cut to fade is me,
fade to cut is she ♪
308
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:41,906
♪ Come juggle with me,
I say every time ♪
309
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,175
♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
310
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,411
Go.
(screams)
311
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,279
Go.
(screams)
312
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,749
My sunglasses.
Oh, all of our chains!
313
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:51,950
You know how hard it is
to get all of our chains.
314
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:52,951
AIDS...
AIDS, AIDS!
315
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,419
♪ Na, na-na-na-na ♪
316
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,354
♪ Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
317
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,323
♪ Na-na-na-na ♪
318
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,658
KID:
Ow!
319
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,127
Stop sending kids, nerd!
320
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,295
You goddamn nerd!
Go.
321
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,964
We're making good time.
We're doin' it, Charlie.
322
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,499
We're pretty much...
we're pretty much caught up.
323
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:10,201
Whoa, hey, hey, guys!
324
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,170
What are you guys doing?
You guys doing a AIDS thing?
325
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,438
Oh, yeah!
Yeah.
326
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,773
I gave Frank a couple hickeys
327
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,207
to sell the lesions.
Sucked on 'em.
328
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,676
Yeah, yeah.
329
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,110
You doing a fake daughter thing?
330
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,479
Yeah.
Cool. All right,
man, see ya.
331
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,281
See ya.
(starts fake crying)
332
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,684
♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
333
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,686
♪ Excuse me, Mr. Officer ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
334
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:31,489
♪ Still love you like that ♪
♪ Murderer ♪
335
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,757
(thud, screaming)
336
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:39,364
♪ Act like you know, G go ♪
337
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,466
♪ I know what Bo don't know ♪
338
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,668
♪ Touch them up and go, uh-oh ♪
339
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,471
Three, two, one, go!
340
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:49,040
(whooping)
341
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,975
I got AIDS!
342
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,110
(whooping)
343
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,047
Yeah!
(whooping)
344
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,588
Frank, we did it, man!
Charlie!
345
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,923
With time to spare!
Charlie! We...
346
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,258
Every single
ride in here!
We won!
347
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,693
CHARLIE:
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
348
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,861
Hey! Suck on that,
river rat!
349
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,096
Every ride!
(laughs)
350
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,231
(both laughing)
351
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,499
We did it.
Oh, shit.
352
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,601
Frank. Look at this!
353
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,572
Oh.
Oh...
354
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,107
What... what is that?
355
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,942
I don't know.
356
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,610
I mean, that-that's not on
the map... what ride is that?
357
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:26,778
Excuse me?
358
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:27,946
Excuse me, ma'am?
Yeah?
359
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,380
What is this ride over here?
360
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,415
Oh, that's our new slide.
361
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,850
It's, uh, Thunder Gun Express.
362
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,184
We just finished construction.
363
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,686
It'll be open in a few weeks.
364
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:35,687
A Thunder Gun ride?
Yeah.
365
00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:36,855
Like the movie?
366
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,389
Yeah, but there's no
water or anything yet,
367
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,891
so we still have to test it.
Oh, yeah.
368
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,359
It's totally dry.
369
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,727
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not, it's not...
370
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,863
No, but it's not, it's,
it's not open yet.
371
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,197
It's Thunder Gun, man.
No hesitation.
372
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,032
No, no, no.
No surrender.
No man left behind.
373
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,567
We got to get to the
top of that slide.
374
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,103
And raw-dog
the shit out of it!
375
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,638
(indistinct chatter)
376
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,706
(huffs)
377
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:55,907
Mac?
Yeah?
378
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,575
My vial is blood red.
379
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,210
That's because the water's not
even running through anymore.
380
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,712
It's just pooling up.
381
00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:02,280
Well, I got to tell you
something, though, I...
Huh?
382
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,282
I don't know if I'm gonna be
able to hold it much longer.
383
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,217
What?!
I-I've been in here
for so long, I-I...
384
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,052
Don't you do it, Dee!
Don't you do it!
385
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:09,387
The problem is it's
already happening.
386
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,822
I'm peeing on your
shoulder right now.
387
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,791
But I don't mean to,
I'm sorry.
(groaning)
388
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,825
It's warm.
You bitch!
389
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,393
When we get out of here,
I'm gonna kill you!
390
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,061
What am I supposed to do? How
are you even holding your pee?
391
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,496
We've been stuck
in here forever!
392
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,131
Oh, I peed as soon
as we got in the slide.
393
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,900
Me, too.
What?!
(laughter)
394
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,334
Ew!
What?!
395
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,669
These animals are,
they're laughing!
396
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:25,904
Of course they are!
397
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,405
I think they're actually
enjoying this shit!
398
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,573
Oh, they love
every second of it!
399
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:29,774
They're just pissing
all over us!
Goddamn it.
400
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:32,243
We're gonna die in here
with them!
401
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,812
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a second, Dee.
402
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,914
I've got an idea!
What?
403
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,415
If we can get Sherman's mouth
404
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,517
to this bracelet,
we can get out of here.
405
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:40,518
You said you couldn't
rip through it.
406
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,519
No, I can't.
407
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,454
But Sherman can chew through it!
408
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,456
Like the girl in the pool drain
409
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,659
when she got her anus stuck,
she chewed through
410
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,795
her prolapsed anus
and chewed herself to freedom.
411
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,463
What are you talking about?!
Sherman!
412
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,265
Get your mouth
to this bracelet and chew!
413
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,366
Aw, screw it.
Try it.
414
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,668
Chew like you've
never chewed before.
415
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,136
Go, Sherman, chew!
416
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,572
(indistinct chatter)
417
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:03,541
Whoa!
418
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,611
Whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
419
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,112
I got some boy to give me this.
420
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,648
I said I'd kiss him if he
met me in the parking lot.
421
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,318
Then I swiped his wristband,
so he can't get back in.
422
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,385
(laughs)
Nice.
423
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,321
Thanks.
Well, I got to roll.
424
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,856
What do you mean?
Where you going?
425
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,324
We're just getting started.
426
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,793
Yeah, but my mom said
it's time to leave.
427
00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:24,128
DENNIS:
Wow.
428
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,397
That's a disappointing
glimpse into your future.
429
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,532
Now, why don't you tell your mom
430
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:28,833
you want to stick around
for a little while?
431
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:29,868
That won't work.
432
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,502
She never listens to me.
433
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,571
Oh, now, see, no.
That bothers me.
434
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,641
A genius whose fate
is controlled by an idiot?
435
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,077
You think I'm a genius?
436
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,678
Yes!
Yes, I think you're a genius.
437
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,013
Are you kidding me?
438
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,581
When I was your age,
I couldn't have accomplished
439
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,083
half the things you did today.
440
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,751
See, this is why
the Chinese are destroying us.
441
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,086
If you were born in China,
442
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,787
you'd be the head
of some factory by now.
443
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,657
Or they would've
thrown you in a river,
444
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,259
'cause you weren't a boy.
445
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,727
All right, it's not
a great analogy,
446
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,028
but you get my point.
447
00:14:57,030 --> 00:15:00,031
A-Abby... you deserve better.
448
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:03,101
Here, I... I want
you to have it.
449
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,402
No, what do you mean?
You earned that.
450
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,837
No, please, take it.
451
00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:08,473
So you never forget me.
452
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,277
Thanks, Dennis.
453
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:15,613
For being the first adult to
actually give a shit about me.
454
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,687
DENNIS:
You!
455
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,289
Yes?
456
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,456
We need to have a conversation.
457
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,624
Your daughter is a special kid.
458
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,227
A gifted child
who should be treasured.
459
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,462
If she were born in China,
she...
460
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,264
Wait, I already did that.
461
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,299
Didn't work.
462
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,100
If she were born in...
463
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,303
What country treasures
their women?
464
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,605
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about?
465
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,640
Mom, can I have a slushy?
466
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,108
Yes, in just a minute.
467
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,376
Is that Abby's brother?
468
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,477
I don't have a daughter.
469
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,479
Yes, you do.
The girl that was just...
470
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,318
ABBY:
Please take it.
471
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,622
So you never forget me.
472
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,159
DENNIS:
See, an artist takes
whatever he wants...
473
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,335
when somebody's
looking right at him.
474
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,569
What is wrong with you?
Why are you...?
475
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,037
(shushing)
476
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,676
(quietly):
Huh.
477
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,746
(Charlie whistles)
478
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,481
How would you even describe
something like that?
479
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,949
It's so beautiful.
480
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,784
They should've sent a poet.
481
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,920
All right, let's go, let's go.
Okay.
482
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,088
All right, all right.
Okay.
483
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,690
Here we go.
(laughing)
484
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,958
Oh, oh.
485
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,360
All right.
486
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,594
This should be good, right?
487
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:37,628
Oh, that's great.
488
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:38,763
That'll do it.
Oh!
489
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,098
Who's going first?
490
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,600
Well, it should be you, right?
491
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,968
I mean, you pulled
off the AIDS thing.
492
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:45,970
Oh, Charlie!
Charlie!
493
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,038
All right!
494
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,172
Let's go before we get caught.
495
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,173
Let's go before
we get busted, okay?
496
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,174
All right, here we go.
All right.
497
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,609
All right.
Ready, Frankie!
498
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,344
I won't let you down!
All right!
499
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,646
I like the spirit here.
Oh!
500
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,849
(squeaking)
Oh, it burns! It burns!
It burns! It burns!
501
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,684
Aah!
502
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,886
(shouting)
503
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,457
(shouts)
504
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,026
My back!
505
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,160
That guy has AIDS!
506
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,295
Aah! Aah, my back!
507
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,830
(crowd clamoring)
508
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,366
AIDS!
Everybody out.
509
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,868
Aah! Aah!
510
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,870
(Frank grunting)
(crowd clamoring)
511
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,376
We're free!
512
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,377
Oh, my God!
513
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,378
Ah, we're free!
514
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,679
My God!
515
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,014
Is that blood?
516
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:31,516
There's AIDS blood in the pool!
517
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:32,850
That's goddamn AIDS blood?!
518
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,385
(crowd screaming)
519
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,254
Has anyone seen my son?
520
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,555
Goddamn it!
521
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,058
I hate this goddamn water park!
522
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,560
(dramatic music playing)
523
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:38,216
(trio chanting backwards)