1 00:00:00,042 --> 00:00:00,042 23.976 2 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,712 - Stop it. - You're getting hung up on 'can't', 3 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,506 and i'm not saying that you can't. 4 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:08,884 - I'm saying that, it is illegal. - No it is not illegal. 5 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,470 Says the guy who knows nothing about the law. 6 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,764 - It's illgeal, - I can absolutely keep a hummingbird as a pet, bro 7 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,058 It's no different than having a parrot or a parakeet. 8 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,268 - It's a bird, bro. - You really,you really can't... 9 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,020 and i'm not saying i agree with it, 10 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,731 it's just that bird law in this country, is not governed by reason. 11 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,858 - There's no such thing as bird law. - Yes there is. 12 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,735 Dude, i'm gonna getting a hummingbird and i'll show you. 13 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,655 - You guys. I have huge news. - Hummingbirds are a legal-tender. 14 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,281 - I'm gonna get one... - You can not... 15 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,950 To spite you i'm gonna get one. 16 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,660 - Hello? - Where are we with gulls... 17 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,245 - You guys! - You can keep a gull as a pet, 18 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,038 but you don't wanna live with a seabird, okay. 19 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,873 'Cause the noise level alone on those things... 20 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,210 ...have you ever heard a gull up close? It's gonna blast your ear drums out dude. 21 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,379 You guys, i'm serious, I have huge news here. 22 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,923 The principal is here that you can have any bird that you want... 23 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,800 I've got great news guys. 24 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,427 Got great news? Got great news! 25 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:56,014 News, news, news... 26 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,475 I just bought a house 27 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,561 at a foreclosure auction.. 28 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:04,022 - Holy shit, that's amazing. - Oh is it? Is it amazing? 29 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,816 Hang on, you're not moving out, are you? 30 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:09,903 No, i bought this as an investment, i bought it on the cheap. 31 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,697 You might a miss the boat on that Frank, 32 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,282 not the best time to invest. I don't think. 33 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,950 I bet the different with you. 34 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:18,871 Now is the time to invest, because all the prices are low, 35 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,541 as soon as the market turns around, i'm gonna make a boat load. 36 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,251 Frank is talking about flipping the house. 37 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,920 - Flip the house! - That's he's saying. 38 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,673 I'm having a baby. 39 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,554 Do yourself a favor and flash it out. 40 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,139 No, that's not... 41 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,516 Flash it out? No, i'm not pregnant. 42 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,811 I answered an add for a couple who wants to surrogate. 43 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:46,607 See, people who can't have kids, are willing to pay a shit of load money to people like myself... 44 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,233 ...who can carry it for them. 45 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,737 Wait. What's going on you're carrying someone's baby somewhere? 46 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:56,241 Hold it. I'm not spending money on another little bastard. 47 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:58,285 - I did that already twice. - Come on... 48 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,913 No, they're keeping the baby, it's their baby, 49 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,831 how are guys not understanding this? 50 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,042 Dee, before you continue, this bubbling... 51 00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:07,711 ...this your thing involve us in anyway 52 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,922 or you just kinda... at us... 53 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:14,009 No, it's just, that's huge news, so i figured you guys might wanna know. 54 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,178 It doesn't matter, let's just talk about the house. 55 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,013 Hold on, hold on a second, actually Dee being pregnant 56 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,932 is pretty big news. 57 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:22,893 We could take the house idea and the baby idea, merge the two things... 58 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,521 It's just muddy though, let's just stick with one, it's cleaner right. 59 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,231 - It could be interesting... - House. 60 00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,358 - But i'm just saying that, if... - House. 61 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,276 I don't know exactly how we are 62 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,861 - take it the two ideas... - House. 63 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,363 - But i think... - House. 64 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,532 - House. House. - House. 65 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:38,909 - House. House. - House. House. 66 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,953 - House. House. - Go. 67 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,829 - Go. Go. - House. House. 68 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,456 Flush, Flush, Flush. 69 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:48,961 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5 Episode 1 70 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,092 Translate: Joe_Le_Taxi 71 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,449 Deandra, thank you so much for responding 72 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,577 - to our ad in the paper. - You're welcome. 73 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,788 We had so many let downs going through the agency, 74 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,499 we thought we just try the find the surrogate by ourselves. 75 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:31,044 I just feel really honored to be able to provide the service for a lovely couple like yourselves. 76 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,629 Good, thank you. 77 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,174 So we just had a couple of questions we'd like to ask you if that's okay. 78 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:37,718 - Honey... - Okay... so sorry, 79 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,345 but do you have any history with drugs or alcohol? 80 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,347 Never, neither. 81 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,809 Any family history of mental illness? 82 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,937 Well, my brother is a dick, if that counts. 83 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,482 - I don't think so. - Just a joke though... 84 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,151 The next one. 85 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,945 So what about your medical histories, 86 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,114 there are any health problems we should know about? 87 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:04,369 I'm gonna be honest with you, i have never had a health problem in my entire life. 88 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,831 - Clean as a whistle. - That's amazing. 89 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:11,251 - Down here, up here wherever - This is all great news. 90 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,128 - Is it? - Yes. Really is. 91 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,756 So let's talk turkey, and by then, i mean my money. 92 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,634 We just thought we're pay the standard rate of 20.000 dollars. 93 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,095 20 thousand? Okay, i like the sound of that. 94 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:24,598 I'm gonna throw something at you guys, so brace yourselves. 95 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:29,353 What are your thoughts on doubling down so to speak, 96 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,980 and going for twins? 97 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,526 - Right? - No. 98 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:39,404 Well, if it's a matter of price, i'm willing to cut you a deal on the second one. 99 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,907 And we don't have to stop at two. 100 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:45,244 I've typed up a price sheet i would like the two of you to peruse, 101 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,121 if you'll look down around number 4 or 5, 102 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,374 that's when you really start to see some savings. 103 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,460 You guys wanna go for an octomom thing? I'm game! 104 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,796 You wanna have 10? You wanna out-do that bitch? 105 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,298 I'll have that conversation. 106 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,093 I'm kidding, i don't want 10 people inside of me. 107 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:06,348 This is great, i just.. i think we're really just gonna do the one. 108 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,935 - I think it's what we want. - One baby. 109 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,606 You gotta look for shit on the walls, 'cause that's what they do. 110 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,483 When they know get thrown out of the house, 111 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,610 they smear feces all over the wall. 112 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:21,363 Really? We wouldn't do that in here, this is a pretty nice house, Frank. 113 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,532 Little lived in, maybe. 114 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:26,577 I found something cooking on the stone, that's pretty irresponsible. 115 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,829 I can't believe they left all the stuff in the house, 116 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,956 What's the deal? Do we have to burn it? 117 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,083 Get the hell out of our house. 118 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,835 - Jesus, there's people in here. - Squatters! 119 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,837 We're not squatters, this is our house. 120 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,797 What are you mean your house? I bought this house! 121 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,716 - We own this house. - You didn't buy it from us, 122 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,052 - you bought it from the bank, we didn't sell. - Look, bitch, we bought it from them 123 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,430 because they foreclosed on your bitch ass. 124 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,224 - You got proof? - Proof? What are you talking about proof? 125 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,226 A deed, paper work, go get your proof, 126 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,854 - then, get back here, we look at the paper - Is that what you want? 127 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,856 - Yes. - Now i give your proof. 128 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,111 Frank, take it easy bud, you're gotta use your head now, 129 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,863 think about the law. Allright? 130 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,407 What happens if you accidently hit a child with an umbrella? 131 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,951 In the eyes of the law that is child abuse. 132 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,953 What happens then? In the eyes of the law, 133 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,748 you have to give your properties to the parents of that child. 134 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,375 I'm sorry, little kid, he doesn't know the law that well. 135 00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,669 I don't even know what the hell he's talking about. 136 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,755 It doesn't matter, we shouldn't bash these people up. 137 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,633 No, of course we shouldn't bash these people up. 138 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,386 Absolutely, we can cave the husband's skull in here, 139 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:29,806 yes, we can take the wife down to the basement, have a frenzy free for all with her. 140 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:34,269 We can tie the kids up in their little rooms upstairs, so they wouldn't hear any of it. 141 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:36,772 In that scenario we have to kill the kids, 'cause they would've seen our faces. 142 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,483 Right, we can smear the walls with their blood. Guys, 143 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:42,277 there are any number of twisted scenarios that could play out here, 144 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:46,240 but i think the easiest thing, really, it's to just go get the deed. 145 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:49,826 - Right. Why get weird? - Let's just keep it simple. 146 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,787 From now, we'll take the high road. 147 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:58,836 We're so glad we're gonna get to work with you, Deandra. 148 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:02,464 Sean, i tell you what? You guys get one hell of a uterus. 149 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:07,219 - Well, listen it was really nice to meet you... - Wow! This house really opens up here doesn't it? 150 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:12,057 It doesn't really look like much but once you get inside, gotta real ass on it. 151 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:15,769 Thank you. You know, it's always felt little empty without a family... 152 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,980 Oh, shit! Is that a pool? 153 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,859 Yeah, 'course when the baby comes we'll have a fence around here. Allright,allright. 154 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,944 - How deep? - The pool? 155 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,988 - Yeah, the pool! - 2,5 metre? 156 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:29,992 Oh, man! You guys jack knife of this diving board all the time or what? 157 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:33,662 Feels so good at those. You mind if i get in? 158 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,584 We have a lot of stuff to do today, so.... 159 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:43,172 Errands are very important, but really the most important thing right now... 160 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,717 ...is for me to stay relax if you don't want my tubes to get all tensed up. 161 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:51,805 So, you wanna go grab a swim suit for me to borrow or should i just jump in my birthday gear? 162 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:55,434 No don't do that. Honey, do we have a suit that she could borrow? 163 00:07:55,475 --> 00:08:00,022 - Sure, go get you that suit. - Good girl. 164 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,775 Allright, Charlie, we're gonna be gentleman. 165 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,236 We have a law on our side, we just show them the deed, 166 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:10,657 and they vacate the premises and that's it. No reason to be animals about it. 167 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,076 They changed the lock. Yes they did. You were right, Frank, 168 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:16,788 - they changed the lock. - I'm telling these people, they're uncivilized dead beets. 169 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,749 - We smash the door... - Ready? Here we go. 170 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:23,504 And a one, and a two, and a three... 171 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,883 That was a bummer! 172 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:33,096 Man, gotta admit that felt very unsatisfying to me. 173 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:36,183 - Yeah, i didn't like that. - You guys wanna smash... 174 00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:38,018 - Yes. 175 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,187 Let's get another shot. And... 176 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,648 Kick another one! 177 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,236 Good! 178 00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:51,198 - My door! - My door, dead beet! My door! 179 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,700 What's shiat lawyer doing in here? 180 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:56,495 It is just so nice to see you again, Mr. Reynolds, 181 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,289 i see the you're still just horrible. 182 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:01,917 Sure you're horrible too and i hate your tie. 183 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:07,130 You know what? This family, behind me has 90 days to vacate, 184 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,049 until then you can't touch them. 185 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,510 That's bull-bird, man. What are you got there? 186 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,595 Let me handle this Frank, it's not a bull-bird, 187 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,264 he's making a few good points. 188 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:19,476 Hey, buddy, i know a lot about the law, and various other lawyerings, 189 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:22,980 i'm well educated, well-versed, i know that situations like this, 190 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,649 real estate wise, they're very complex. 191 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:30,279 Actually, they're pretty simple. The forms are all standard, boilerplate. 192 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,365 Well, we all are hungry, we're gonna get our hot plates soon enough, 193 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:35,492 allright, let's talk about the contract here. 194 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,412 Sorry, i forgot, where did you go to law school again? 195 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:42,583 - I could ask you that very same question. - I went to Harvard. How about you? 196 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,543 Where? 197 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,045 - I'm plead fifth, Sir. - I advice you do that. 198 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,590 And i'll take that advice into cooperation. Allright? 199 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:53,468 Now let's say you and i go toe to toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor. 200 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,305 I don't think i'm gonna do anything close to that 201 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:59,183 and i can see clearly you know nothing about the law. 202 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:03,145 It seems like you have a tenuous grasp on the English language in general. 203 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:06,523 Okay, well. Filibuster. 204 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,068 Do you know what that word means? 205 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,487 - Yeap. - And what's that mean? 206 00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:22,873 I'll... We will... 207 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:30,964 I don't know. I'm all turned up about this. I can't wait 90 days 208 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,884 to get rid of those people. I mean..I gotta sell that house. 209 00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,178 Frank, don't be rash. It's just 90 days. 210 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:39,681 In 90 days, there's gonna be shit all over on those walls. 211 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:43,185 Those people gonna trash that house, we won't be able to dime for it. 212 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:45,187 I'm calling the realtor right now. 213 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:48,607 Wait, Frank. Hold on a second. Maybe we could sell the house ourselves, 214 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:51,068 save the 5 percent. What are the realtors do anyway? 215 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:54,154 They pop on a blazer, they walk people through a house? We can do that. 216 00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:57,741 Mac, the real estate business is something takes a lot of style and a lot of finesse, 217 00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:01,662 - And that something that two of us both have in space! - Absolutely. 218 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,873 I'm thinking we do like a classic "Good realtor, bad realtor" dynamic. 219 00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,917 Oh, shit! I'm the good you're the bad? 220 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:10,045 - You're the sweet, i'm the sour! - The honey to you're vinegar? 221 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:13,757 That's good, dude! "Honey and Vinegar Realty". 222 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:17,177 - I like that! - I like what i'm hearing! 223 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:21,098 Okay! I knew that guy was full of shit. I knew it! 224 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,433 - What guy? - That lawyer guy. 225 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:27,896 He totally besmirched me today and i demand satisfaction from him! 226 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,898 You want him to bang you? 227 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,150 Mac, be serious, okay? 228 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,279 He slandered me in front a jury of my own peers. Allright? 229 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,614 Look what they used to do when that sort of thing happened. 230 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,575 Take a look at this picture, what do you see? 231 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,744 I see two trannies shooting at each other. 232 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,664 No, dude, they're duelling! Okay? 233 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,876 These are lawyers settling an argument by duelling it out. 234 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:52,629 Now how do you know the two trannies are lawyers? 235 00:11:55,257 --> 00:12:00,596 'Cause it's an old book! Okay? I don't have to explain everything to you about what i know! 236 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:04,266 I'm trying to get satisfied from this dude... 237 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,310 I'm getting satisfied, I don't care! 238 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,895 What are you doing, Deandra? 239 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,730 Collecting the money which is own me. 240 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:12,774 - Now i'm on maternity leave. - What are you jabbing about now? 241 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:16,028 I gotta sweet set up going on as a surrogate for a couple of rich yuppies. 242 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,238 They have a huge house, kick-ass pool, 243 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,658 i'm living the high life. So suck on that, white stains! 244 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:26,747 Dude, i knew she would done the baby thing! Now there's a pool involved! 245 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,874 When was the last time you swam in the pool? I wanna swim in the pool. 246 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:32,836 - It's like forever since i swam in the pool! - No, no, let's focus here. 247 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:35,923 We gotta sell this house! 248 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:38,884 Then we can go swim in Deandra's pool. 249 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,514 GET A HONEY OF A DEAL! HONEY AND VINEGAR. 250 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:48,936 - Vic, you got that another snack tray? - I certainly do, Hugh! 251 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,480 People are gonna be here any second, i want them to be well-fed. 252 00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:53,649 - The house looks nice. - It does look nice. 253 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,695 You jerks aren't supposed to be here while my mom and dad are at work. 254 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,323 Your mom and dad aren't at work. That's why they lost the house! 255 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,242 They're probably at the dog track getting wasted. 256 00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:06,453 - Dude, eat my boogers! - You eat my boogers! 257 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:13,794 Smell that vinegar boiled it up inside of you, but i need you the save some of it for the customer. 258 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:16,296 Do that for me, okay, baby boy? 259 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:19,216 - What the hell is going on out here? - Frank, can you get these kids out of here? 260 00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:22,803 Come on kids, let's repaint your room a color that is not stupid. 261 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,763 Then we're gonna throw your toys in the trash! 262 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,683 Listen, i need you on my team, you're on my team? 263 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:29,768 - I'm in your team. - Yeah. 264 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,854 - Yeah, i just.. He gets me... - It's cool. 265 00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:35,399 - Hi, how are you? - We're here look at the house. 266 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:40,487 Of course, come on in. Hi, i'm Hugh Honey. This is my associate Vic Vinegar. 267 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,991 We are here to show you this house. 268 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:46,743 Good. Okay. 269 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,162 - Come on in. - Great. 270 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,959 Good. Allright, this is the living room... 271 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,878 Okay, wonderful. 272 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,464 Now, what are you folks thinks? It's a beautiful house, right? 273 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,301 Well, you know i'm thinking this might be a bit large for a what we need. 274 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,304 - I'm sorry buddy, is this house too big for you? - Vic? 275 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:09,391 Just a second Hugh! Why don't you ask your wife what she needs, pal. 276 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:12,728 I'm sorry, she used to something smaller and you don't think she can handle it? 277 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:15,397 - I think we're gonna get going. - It's okay you guys. 278 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,609 I'm here. I want this to be a good experience for you. Okay? 279 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:24,198 I tell you what buddy, how about i take your wife upstairs and show her what it's like to be deep inside a really big house? 280 00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,908 - What? - What? 281 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,826 What? 282 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,537 You'll have to excuse my associate. 283 00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:33,957 It's just his passion for quality real estate it makes him so intense. 284 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,959 What can we do to put you in this house? 285 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,544 I think we're just gonna go now. 286 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,880 - Aren't you buy this house? - You don't buy this house. 287 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:42,633 - Are you going to buy this house? - Sir, we don't want any trouble, sir. 288 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,177 Are you going to buy this house? - I don't know. - Are you guys going to buy this house? 289 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,596 - Yes! Yes! - Yes what? 290 00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:51,016 - Yes, i'll buy this house! - That's it, here we go. That's all i wanted to hear. 291 00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:54,728 Congratulations, folks, you've just bought a brand new house. 292 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,897 - Can we go? - Yes. 293 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,690 Go, honey. Go! Just go! 294 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,902 - I'm going. - Allright, we'll be in touch. 295 00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:05,072 That was amazing bro. You think that's gonna work? 296 00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:07,157 Bro, it already did work. You heard the skirt. 297 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,784 She said: "Yes, i will buy this house". 298 00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:11,578 That is a buying verbal contract. I heard it, you heard it, 299 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,205 and pussy husband of her aslo heard it too. 300 00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:17,876 If they get back now, i will find them, i will strangle them, i will beat them. 301 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,171 I'm full of the vinegar. 302 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,340 - Hey, how did go? - Sold it! 303 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,051 - Sold out. - Sold it? Fantastic! 304 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:29,304 Let's get another house, flipping over, make some cash. 305 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:31,723 You know it's not really the cash that i care about anymore. 306 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,433 It's the thrill the sale that i'm responsible. 307 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,478 - You know what i'm thinking? 308 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:40,607 Maybe it's time to merge the two ideas after all. 309 00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,944 - Baby in the house? - Baby in the house. 310 00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:49,324 Honey and Vinegar? 311 00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:51,785 Okay, Jesus Christ. 312 00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,745 Allright, i'll get on it. 313 00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:58,542 Well, well, well... 314 00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:03,380 If it isn't the big time, hot shot, lawyer man. 315 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,007 Oh my god. 316 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,968 - I do not have time for you. - Yes, so we both have busy schedules. 317 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,720 So i make this quick. 318 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:15,017 I'm challenging you sir to a duel. 319 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,019 I accept. 320 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:22,441 - Are you serious? - Yes, i accept your challenge. 321 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:26,486 - Do you want time to think it over? - No. No. Not at all. 322 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,156 What time were you thinking of duelling? 323 00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:32,201 Anytime is good, really. 324 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:36,788 You don't have time. 'Cause you have to go out and get a proper gun... 325 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,834 I have a gun. I actually keep one right here in the drawer. 326 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,461 You got one right there? I don't need to see it. 327 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:46,340 I like to keep it loaded because you never know who's gonna walk into a law office these days. 328 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:48,926 Safety first. 329 00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:51,470 Let's re-think something. 330 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:56,266 Let's say that you have learned your lesson now, 331 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,393 and i've learned a little lesson. 332 00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:02,064 We call it even and i'll respectfully decline the duel. 333 00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,274 Well, you can't decline. 334 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:09,112 As you know, once the duels been accepted you know, there's no backing out. 335 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:11,949 - I mean that's the law. - Yeah. 336 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:15,035 Anyway... Great, this is settled, 337 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,496 and i was looking for something to do tomorrow afternoon anyway. 338 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:21,834 - I'm gonna pencil you in for high noon tomorrow. - Don't do it. 339 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:28,715 Don't worry, 'cause wherever you are, i'll find you. 340 00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:33,387 I'm gonna put one right between your teeth, and it skim pop out the back your neck. 341 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,019 Deandra, can we talk to you for a sec? 342 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:44,231 Hey. You guys! Watch me bust out this sweet jack knife. 343 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,907 - Guys!. - Are you okay? 344 00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:56,368 - Biff that one. - You bifted? 345 00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:58,829 Thank god, there wasn't a baby in there. 346 00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,623 - Could you get me refill on that guy? - What is this? 347 00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:05,043 Piņa colada, i've been crushing on them, they're great in the heat. 348 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,754 I don't think you should be drinking and swimming. 349 00:18:08,839 --> 00:18:10,507 - Ding Dong. Hello. - God damn it. 350 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,217 - Hello. - No, no, no. 351 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,178 We're looking for Deandra Reynolds. 352 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:18,098 There she is. We're the wealthy homosexual couple that she promise her womb to. 353 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,643 Did we are. I'm Hugh Honey and this is my partner Vic Vinegar. 354 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:25,480 We're partners in real estate and we're partners in life. 355 00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:28,233 - Hi. - Hi. 356 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,777 - You guys... - How are you doing sweety? 357 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,113 Excuse us for just one second. 358 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:36,074 Oh boy, it's good to see you... What the hell are you guys doing in here? 359 00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:38,118 - Do not ruin this for me. - Dee, relax. 360 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,495 We're gonna start a bidding war drive of the price of your womb. 361 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,289 Why would i want you to drive a price of my womb? 362 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,833 Because we're make this couple desperate enough for money to sell their house to us. 363 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,752 We're buying every single house in the neighborhood. 364 00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:49,630 Check it out. We get the house and you get a higher price on that kid you're craping out. 365 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:52,174 Everybody wins. We're merging the ideas after all. 366 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:54,259 I don't wanna merge the ideas left first place! 367 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,512 We're merging, so get used to it. 368 00:18:56,803 --> 00:19:00,891 We're giving Deandra 100 thousand dollars to carry a child for us. 369 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:03,393 - I'll be providing the sperm of course. - And i'll be providing the money, 370 00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,145 because i'm the breadwinner in the relationship. 371 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,648 I'm the trophy husband. 372 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:11,276 I'm the power bottom. Technically, i generate most of the power. 373 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,737 Only because, I'm giving out so much power from the top, 374 00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,656 he need generate power to accept it. 375 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,324 - Dee, what the hell they're talking about? - I don't know. 376 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,660 - But i tell you... - Hey, Dee! 377 00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:22,454 - Who's this guy? - Splinter! 378 00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:24,831 - There's a gate, bro. - What the hell are you doing in here? 379 00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:27,334 Pardon me ma'am, sir. Everthing is fine, 380 00:19:27,376 --> 00:19:29,378 - 'cause daddy is here now. - Who are you? 381 00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,880 I'm the father of the baby this growing inside of her stomach, 382 00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:33,799 and i need a safe place to hide. 383 00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:36,051 What baby you're talking about Charlie? I'm not pregnant yet. 384 00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:38,011 Abort! 385 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,139 Abort! Abort! 386 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:44,017 - Do not buy this house! - There's a god damn gate! 387 00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:46,895 I just got done with that lawyer, he threated to sue me. 388 00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,438 What? Why? 389 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,399 Those kids were painting their room and then, 390 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,235 i told them to go down rip some copper pipes out, 391 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:56,029 their little hands got all bloody, big deal! 392 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:59,116 I gotta give him the house to settle the sue. 393 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,910 That's it! You all are crazy. I'm asking you to leave. 394 00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:03,453 - Yes. - So, let's go. 395 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,330 - Please, leave. - Are you sure? 396 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:06,915 This is a very inviting pool. 397 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,959 You heard the guy. You heard him! 398 00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:14,882 I'm so sorry about that. That was nuts, wasn't it? 399 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,801 Yes. You know... 400 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:21,680 - We're gonna have to ask you to leave as well. - But what about the baby? 401 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:24,600 We're just gonna find someone else. 402 00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:27,644 You guys! You got me there, i thought you were serious. 403 00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:29,813 We are serious, Deandra. 404 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:33,692 This shit is like a bath tub. 405 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,694 Jack knife! 406 00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:39,072 Cannonball! 407 00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:46,622 Chicken fight! 408 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,749 - Chicken fight! - Chicken fight! 409 00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:50,626 - Chicken fight! - Chicken fight! 410 00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:53,253 - Chicken fight! - Chicken fight!