1 00:00:00,850 --> 00:00:02,695 How are we supposed to 2 00:00:02,696 --> 00:00:05,567 scale back our energy costs when you're filling this generator with gasoline? 3 00:00:05,568 --> 00:00:08,979 Yeah, gross. Since when did you start running the bar on a gas generator? 4 00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:11,692 - About a week ago. I've been doing it for about a week. - Why would you do that? 5 00:00:11,693 --> 00:00:14,366 Well, because, you know, electricity's so expensive, man. 6 00:00:14,367 --> 00:00:16,538 So I figured let's get a generator and, you know, run the bar on it. 7 00:00:16,539 --> 00:00:19,534 Are you kidding me? Gasoline's, like, a thousand times more expensive than electricity. 8 00:00:19,535 --> 00:00:22,394 And you know what, Charlie? You shouldn't be making these decisions anyway, okay? 9 00:00:22,395 --> 00:00:24,043 - You're not the decision-making type. - Exactly. 10 00:00:24,047 --> 00:00:27,244 As the brains of this organization, I should've made this decision. 11 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:31,979 - I'm sorry, since when did you become the brains. - I'm sorry I've always been the brains. 12 00:00:32,171 --> 00:00:35,290 What are your talking about? What the hell am I? 13 00:00:35,293 --> 00:00:39,262 - You're the looks. - Yeah, of course I'm the looks but I was seeing myself as the brains and the looks. 14 00:00:39,269 --> 00:00:41,332 No, you're the looks, I'm the brains, Charlie's the wild card. 15 00:00:41,338 --> 00:00:43,796 Oh! That's awesome. 16 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,136 Yeah! Yeah, that's the classic setup. You know this? No? 17 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:50,859 Look, every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right? 18 00:00:50,861 --> 00:00:53,571 Looks, brains, wild card. Think about it. 19 00:00:53,573 --> 00:00:55,021 The A-Team did it. 20 00:00:55,295 --> 00:00:57,051 Scooby Doo did it. 21 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,012 - The Ghost busters did it. - Oh, shit! 22 00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:00,805 - Yes! Right? - Yeah. 23 00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:03,726 Our problem is that we don't stick to that basic format, 24 00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:04,905 and it gets us into trouble. 25 00:01:04,909 --> 00:01:07,666 So what you're saying is that by breaking from that format, 26 00:01:07,681 --> 00:01:11,388 we're actually limiting our ability to be as successful as those organizations. 27 00:01:11,395 --> 00:01:13,999 - Totally right, dude. - Great. On to the matter at hand. 28 00:01:14,004 --> 00:01:17,514 We're getting plowed in the ass by the oil companies and the gas 29 00:01:17,519 --> 00:01:20,895 companies with their ten-gallon hats and their rotten, ass-plowing hearts. 30 00:01:20,899 --> 00:01:23,974 So, as the brains of this organization, 31 00:01:23,981 --> 00:01:25,826 - I came up with a plan. - Lay it on us, bud. 32 00:01:25,830 --> 00:01:28,066 It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple 33 00:01:28,071 --> 00:01:30,360 of asses and doing a little plowing of our own. 34 00:01:30,495 --> 00:01:31,850 Pow! 35 00:01:34,718 --> 00:01:36,273 - Not gay sex. - Okay. 36 00:01:36,279 --> 00:01:38,183 Okay, 'cause that's what it sounded like. What did you mean? 37 00:01:38,187 --> 00:01:40,096 - We're going to solve the gas cris. - Oh, good. 38 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:16,052 Charlie, the plan is simple, okay? 39 00:02:16,058 --> 00:02:17,303 - Is it? - Yes. 40 00:02:17,309 --> 00:02:19,046 We go to a bank, we talk to a loan officer. 41 00:02:19,062 --> 00:02:22,347 We get a hefty loan to buy a bunch of gasoline. 42 00:02:22,391 --> 00:02:25,329 We take that gasoline, we store it in the basement, we wait a few months. 43 00:02:25,334 --> 00:02:28,289 When the gas prices skyrocket, we sell it, make a huge profit. 44 00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:30,412 Yeah, man, if the guy doesn't seem like he's going for it, 45 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:33,011 I'll show him this, uh, big-breasted women chart... 46 00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:34,472 - and that'll win him over. - Yeah, I'm sure it will. 47 00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:37,987 I mean, 'cause that's great and the plan's actually pretty great. 48 00:02:38,231 --> 00:02:41,966 The problem I'm having with it is that I don't have anything to do. 49 00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:44,461 No, you do have something to do. You're the wild card. 50 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,401 You sit there looking crazy and capable of anything. 51 00:02:46,404 --> 00:02:47,149 Yeah. 52 00:02:47,674 --> 00:02:49,841 Yeah, you set the tone for the whole meeting. 53 00:02:49,846 --> 00:02:53,543 So if I'm, like, there while you guys are talking and I'm just, like, like... 54 00:02:56,311 --> 00:02:57,598 That's terrible. 55 00:02:57,601 --> 00:02:59,516 That was my... that was my wild card face, all right... 56 00:02:59,531 --> 00:03:00,886 What message are you trying to send with that? 57 00:03:00,894 --> 00:03:03,649 Really? Was that not a good one? Well, so what if it's more like, like... 58 00:03:05,997 --> 00:03:08,382 And you want him to think that you're going to take a dump or...? 59 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,032 - Seriously, that's what that looks like? - I just don't know what 60 00:03:10,038 --> 00:03:12,506 - message you're trying to... - Oh, man, you're forcing it. 61 00:03:12,508 --> 00:03:14,124 - Oh, my God. You know what? - Yeah, you're really forcing it. 62 00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:15,897 I'd better look in a mirror 'cause I don't know what I'm 63 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:17,296 doing and what it looks like feel like two different things. 64 00:03:17,303 --> 00:03:19,499 The Brains, I'm going to supervise 'cause there is 65 00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:21,057 - no way he should be making this decision. - Well, walk me through it, dude, 66 00:03:21,063 --> 00:03:24,790 - 'cause I just don't see what you're talking about. - It's not a rape van. It's a spy van. 67 00:03:24,797 --> 00:03:26,581 No, it looks very much like a van rape to me, but whatever. 68 00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:29,173 - Dennis, you gotta look at this. - What is this? 69 00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:31,943 Bruce Mathis is about to give away all of Mom's money. 70 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,497 What are you talking about? 71 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,966 In two days, some Muslim Cultural Center is about to get 72 00:03:35,973 --> 00:03:38,297 a giant check made out of our cash, and we've got to get that back. 73 00:03:38,303 --> 00:03:42,062 Listen, this jamoke is giving our money to terrorists, 74 00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:44,091 and we've got to prove it. 75 00:03:44,095 --> 00:03:46,983 Dee, Mom gave all of our money to Bruce. 76 00:03:46,988 --> 00:03:48,512 You were never going to get it anyway. 77 00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:50,783 Oh, no-no-no, I was. See, I had a plan. 78 00:03:50,788 --> 00:03:54,558 I was going to eliminate everybody else and be the only surviving heir, so... help. 79 00:03:54,563 --> 00:03:57,718 So when you say "eliminate," you mean you were going to kill me? 80 00:03:57,725 --> 00:04:00,930 I don't know. No, yes, maybe I was going to; 81 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:04,304 Maybe I wasn't. The point is moot now. So can you please help me out here? 82 00:04:04,307 --> 00:04:06,063 So you were planning on killing me? 83 00:04:06,069 --> 00:04:09,423 Stop arguing. Are you going to help us out? We got no time here. 84 00:04:09,430 --> 00:04:10,604 Pass. 85 00:04:10,622 --> 00:04:12,517 - "Pass"? - Yeah, pass. 86 00:04:12,522 --> 00:04:14,657 - Super-pass, berpass... - How do you super-pass on something like this... 87 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:17,409 I pass! I pass! Because you were planning on killing me. 88 00:04:17,415 --> 00:04:19,909 Oh, my God, I feel like you're really focused on one 89 00:04:19,924 --> 00:04:21,631 tiny part of what I'm trying to talk about here. 90 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:24,254 - It's a very big part of your... - It's just a couple of words. 91 00:04:24,258 --> 00:04:26,214 - Go away. I'm trying to draw breasts and pretty women. - Focus on the words "money" 92 00:04:26,217 --> 00:04:28,674 and "Bruce" and "me" and "help." 93 00:04:28,872 --> 00:04:33,269 All right, and what is the reason you're requesting a loan today? 94 00:04:33,581 --> 00:04:35,179 Wait for it... 95 00:04:36,183 --> 00:04:38,240 - Gasoline. - Excuse me. 96 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:39,582 - Don't rush me. - Don't rush him. 97 00:04:39,587 --> 00:04:41,751 Thank you, I feel rushed. Look, here's the plan. 98 00:04:41,756 --> 00:04:45,546 You give us a shitload of money. We buy a shitload of gasoline. 99 00:04:45,639 --> 00:04:49,797 We wait 12 months, we sell the gasoline and make a shitload of profit. 100 00:04:49,801 --> 00:04:53,269 Gentlemen, we tend to give loans to businesses, not... 101 00:04:53,274 --> 00:04:55,698 - She's not getting it. Get the graph. - Oh, yeah, the graph. 102 00:04:55,706 --> 00:04:58,163 - We have a graph. - Yeah, check this out. 103 00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:00,773 Now these are the gas prices last year. 104 00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:03,564 These are the gas prices this year. 105 00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:06,914 And this is what the gas prices will be. 106 00:05:06,919 --> 00:05:08,737 And what are those? 107 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:11,340 These are gorgeous women with heaving breasts. 108 00:05:11,342 --> 00:05:13,250 Yeah. Why? 109 00:05:14,245 --> 00:05:17,802 Well, to be perfectly honest, we sort of thought we'd 110 00:05:17,808 --> 00:05:20,694 - be speaking to a man today, so... - Yeah, is there any way that 111 00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:23,863 we can talk to your boss because I think he would understand more better? 112 00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:25,877 My boss is a woman. 113 00:05:26,963 --> 00:05:29,208 - Really? - Your boss is a woman? 114 00:05:29,213 --> 00:05:30,809 Now, this is a strange bank. 115 00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:33,570 Okay, well, I am definitely rejecting your request for 116 00:05:33,574 --> 00:05:37,701 $300,000 to buy... gasoline. 117 00:05:38,989 --> 00:05:41,363 - Dennis, you're on. - Yeah. 118 00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:44,194 You know... I just had a crazy thought. 119 00:05:44,329 --> 00:05:50,420 How's about I take you in the back and "change" your mind? 120 00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:54,071 Or how about we all go in the back and have great sex? 121 00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:56,543 - What are you doing, hmm? - I'm pulling a wild card here, man, so... 122 00:05:56,546 --> 00:05:58,344 No, dude, just let Dennis do his thing, okay? 123 00:05:58,349 --> 00:06:01,053 I can be very sensual with a woman, all right? You will enjoy it. 124 00:06:01,059 --> 00:06:03,116 Now is not the right time to pull the wild card, okay? 125 00:06:03,122 --> 00:06:04,636 Let me do my thing. Let me do the seducing. 126 00:06:04,641 --> 00:06:07,109 - Let Dennis bang her so we can get our loan. - Well, here's a scenario. 127 00:06:07,112 --> 00:06:09,258 What if she wanted to bang me or you for that matter? 128 00:06:09,266 --> 00:06:10,911 You can't pull the wild card when I already have my shirt 129 00:06:10,914 --> 00:06:12,201 off, that should be a rule. Can that be a rule? 130 00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:14,331 - Yes, that's a rule. - Oh, yeah?! 131 00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:16,315 Oh, yeah?! Back off! 132 00:06:16,318 --> 00:06:19,325 - Come on, man, let me do it. This is my job! - Wild card, baby! 133 00:06:19,329 --> 00:06:21,445 - Dude, I feel like I can do it then, too. - What are you doing?! 134 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:24,139 - Goddamn it, look, okay, so... - Why don't you decide? 135 00:06:24,144 --> 00:06:25,307 - Yeah. - Which one of us do you want 136 00:06:25,313 --> 00:06:27,200 to take you in the back and bang you? 137 00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:43,566 My intel tells me that Bruce moved into this crappy apartment complex. 138 00:06:43,711 --> 00:06:46,029 - Where'd you get your intel? - I water boarded some guy. 139 00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:48,512 - Told me everything. - You tortured somebody? 140 00:06:48,514 --> 00:06:51,531 Oh, yeah. Big time. What do you see? 141 00:06:51,546 --> 00:06:54,602 I can't see shit. Why would you tint the inside of the windows? 142 00:06:54,606 --> 00:06:57,577 - I don't want anybody to see in. - We can't see out, Frank! 143 00:06:58,409 --> 00:07:01,018 - I might've overdone it a little bit. - You think so? 144 00:07:02,081 --> 00:07:03,759 - That's Bruce! - This guy? 145 00:07:03,766 --> 00:07:05,271 That's the guy, walking there! Walking there! 146 00:07:05,273 --> 00:07:07,251 - Start the car. Let's go! Let's follow him! - Are you sure that's him? 147 00:07:07,257 --> 00:07:08,863 Gonna take some pictures. 148 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,053 I got it working. 149 00:07:12,059 --> 00:07:13,552 - Go! Go! - All right, there's... 150 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,574 - the gas pedal's stuck or something. - Well, wobble it. 151 00:07:15,578 --> 00:07:17,637 - "Wobble it"? - Yeah, wobble it back and forth. 152 00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:20,386 - Wiggle it. Wiggle it. That's it. That's it. - All right. 153 00:07:21,365 --> 00:07:24,019 - Now, hit it. Oh, God... - What are you trying to do? 154 00:07:24,036 --> 00:07:26,621 Give me whiplash? You're blinding me. Will you calm down? Hold on. 155 00:07:27,487 --> 00:07:29,143 Son of a bitch! 156 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:32,384 Hey, assholes. 157 00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:38,637 Hey, what the hell was that about?! 158 00:07:43,104 --> 00:07:45,932 I can't believe Dee keeps her life savings in her sock drawer. 159 00:07:45,938 --> 00:07:47,384 That's a dumb place to hide it. 160 00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:49,072 She's an investor now. She'll thank us later. 161 00:07:49,078 --> 00:07:51,225 You know what, guys? I'm sorry. I got to bring something up. 162 00:07:51,228 --> 00:07:53,684 Can I bring something up? 'Cause if it don't, it's going to stew up inside me. 163 00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:55,525 - It's going to drive me crazy. - What's up, man? 164 00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,168 I kind of can't believe that you guys took your shirts off back there, man. 165 00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:01,679 I mean, I feel like you really sold me down the river. 166 00:08:01,683 --> 00:08:04,073 The Ghostbusters would never do something like that to each other. 167 00:08:04,076 --> 00:08:06,311 - I can't believe you guys did it, man. - What are you doing? 168 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,983 No trash cans, only cars. 169 00:08:07,990 --> 00:08:10,803 Whoa, cool your jets, guy. We paid for this gas. 170 00:08:10,819 --> 00:08:13,124 It's going to be a while, so... 171 00:08:13,131 --> 00:08:15,946 Stop now. You can't do this. 172 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,307 - Come on, man. - Only cars. 173 00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:20,088 Oh, geez. All right, Wild Card, do your thing. 174 00:08:20,093 --> 00:08:23,132 So help me God, I'll blow this place to kingdom come. 175 00:08:23,138 --> 00:08:25,761 - Not that, not that. Jesus Christ, Charlie. - Come on, man. 176 00:08:25,769 --> 00:08:29,216 No, we just got to figure out a way to get this gas back to 177 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:32,355 - the bar without using the barrels. - Well, how the hell we gonna do that? 178 00:08:40,677 --> 00:08:43,423 All right, barrel number six is done, dudes. 179 00:08:43,428 --> 00:08:46,502 - This doesn't seem to be the best... - No. Guys, this is not working, okay? 180 00:08:46,517 --> 00:08:48,907 We're actually losing money driving back and forth from that 181 00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:50,905 - gas station all day long. - You're burning up our product. 182 00:08:50,913 --> 00:08:53,718 Plus I have swallowed a good deal of it. It's just a damn waste. 183 00:08:53,721 --> 00:08:56,839 Yeah, and gas has gone up seven cents since this morning. 184 00:08:56,843 --> 00:08:59,332 He puts a new thing on the sign every time we pull in there. 185 00:08:59,334 --> 00:09:01,821 - We're screwing ourselves here, guys. - Hold on, let's not freak out. 186 00:09:01,827 --> 00:09:04,182 - Let's not freak out. - The plan's not working though, man. 187 00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:06,405 We just need to adjust our business model to meet the needs 188 00:09:06,408 --> 00:09:09,677 - of a changing market place. That's all. - That's money talk. Let's talk money. 189 00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:11,399 We got to make some money in the short term. 190 00:09:11,403 --> 00:09:13,299 Well, how the hell are we going to do that? 191 00:09:13,305 --> 00:09:14,999 I got a plan. 192 00:09:15,296 --> 00:09:19,253 - We'd like to return some gas, please. - Yeah. Don't worry, bro, got receipts. 193 00:09:19,255 --> 00:09:21,151 I can't do that. 194 00:09:21,158 --> 00:09:23,384 You can't do it or you won't do it? 195 00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,305 Both. 196 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,834 Not yet, buddy. 197 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:30,578 Okay, bro, want to play hard ball, fine. 198 00:09:30,581 --> 00:09:33,579 You're about to experience the hard knocks of a free market, bitch. 199 00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:35,410 Get ready to feel it where it hurts. 200 00:09:35,445 --> 00:09:39,123 - Your dick. - No, no, not his dick. His wallet. 201 00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:41,084 - Your wallet. - Yep. 202 00:09:47,782 --> 00:09:50,050 Here we are. This is it. 203 00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:53,118 - Are you sure this is the place? - Yes, yes, yes, my intel says so. 204 00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:55,752 Okay, take these box cutters, put them in his bedroom. 205 00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:58,094 Take this fertilizer, toss it in the closet. 206 00:09:58,658 --> 00:10:00,695 What the hell are we doing that for? 207 00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:02,625 'Cause when I call the cops on him, they'll come and find 208 00:10:02,629 --> 00:10:05,546 all this bomb-making shit and they'll arrest his money-stealing ass. 209 00:10:05,663 --> 00:10:07,917 We don't want to call the cops. 210 00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:10,618 They'll find the bug I'm going to plant. 211 00:10:10,635 --> 00:10:12,411 That's a baby monitor, Frank. 212 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,543 You're planting a baby monitor? 213 00:10:14,545 --> 00:10:15,752 Yeah? 214 00:10:15,755 --> 00:10:18,905 A lot of people are bugging their babies these days. 215 00:10:18,907 --> 00:10:20,996 I guess babies can't be trusted. 216 00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:23,305 What exactly is it you're expecting to find here? 217 00:10:23,313 --> 00:10:25,509 - Lotta shady shit. - Like what? 218 00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:29,389 Like maybe Bruce is banging dudes. 219 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,520 Why would that be shady? 220 00:10:31,575 --> 00:10:33,800 - Maybe the dudes are babies. - What?! 221 00:10:33,806 --> 00:10:35,721 Bruce is not banging any baby dudes. 222 00:10:35,726 --> 00:10:37,682 Look, we're going back to the original plan, okay? 223 00:10:37,688 --> 00:10:39,093 We're going to put the frame on him. 224 00:10:39,101 --> 00:10:41,334 We're going to be heroes among the community and I'm going to 225 00:10:41,339 --> 00:10:43,016 get all of my money back as a reward. 226 00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:44,776 - All my money. - Whatever. 227 00:10:44,781 --> 00:10:47,169 It was probably going to end up mine eventually, so... 228 00:10:47,173 --> 00:10:50,911 Okay, there's something I want to talk to you about. 229 00:10:50,926 --> 00:10:56,333 Were you planning on offing me and then offing Dennis also? 230 00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:57,975 Frank, we are in the middle of something. 231 00:10:57,981 --> 00:10:59,864 I don't have time to chitchat with you about stuff. 232 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,228 Were you planning on offing me? 233 00:11:01,232 --> 00:11:03,698 - I didn't say that. - You didn't deny it either. 234 00:11:03,951 --> 00:11:05,488 Deny it? 235 00:11:05,493 --> 00:11:09,041 Do I have to deny... something so craz... 236 00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,343 Give me the baby monitor. I'll hide it for you. 237 00:11:17,281 --> 00:11:19,507 Capitalism at work. 238 00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:20,986 This ought to show the son of a bitch. 239 00:11:20,992 --> 00:11:22,810 All right, buddy, now explain to me how exactly we're going to 240 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,168 - calculate the totals. - Oh, it's easy, dude. 241 00:11:25,245 --> 00:11:27,892 You pour gas into the car using one of these funnels, right? 242 00:11:27,894 --> 00:11:30,164 And I count how much gas is going into the car. 243 00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:32,203 All right, let me just stop you right there. 244 00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:35,654 How exactly are you planning on counting a liquid? 245 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:38,497 - I know how to count, dude. - Okay, you do it, you do it, 246 00:11:38,502 --> 00:11:41,077 - Mac, because I can't speak to him. - Free Market 101, you got to 247 00:11:41,084 --> 00:11:43,308 have customers to have a working business, right? 248 00:11:43,315 --> 00:11:45,099 - So we've got to attract attention. - Yeah. 249 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:48,111 I, for one, suggest me blowing fireballs to get that attention. 250 00:11:48,116 --> 00:11:49,184 Fireballs? 251 00:11:49,188 --> 00:11:51,353 - Where is that coming from? - No, rifling fireballs around... 252 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,955 No, people will see it from the street and pull in. 253 00:11:53,958 --> 00:11:55,567 They'll want to buy the gas. We have ten containers of gasoline. 254 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,976 - Charlie, the lighter, please. - What the hell... No, no, no. 255 00:11:57,981 --> 00:12:01,160 - Let me reiterate my strong opposition to this idea. - Trust me, Dennis, I know what I'm doing. 256 00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:04,370 This is really unsafe, dude. Do not blow that fireball... 257 00:12:07,306 --> 00:12:10,425 Wow. Okay, wow, I take back everything I just said. 258 00:12:10,428 --> 00:12:12,356 That was amazing. Oh, dude, I'm doing one of those, baby. 259 00:12:12,361 --> 00:12:14,205 - You can do it bigger? - No, Charlie, let me... 260 00:12:14,209 --> 00:12:16,297 Make sure it's bigger. 261 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,918 Wait... 262 00:12:17,923 --> 00:12:19,490 Goddamn it! 263 00:12:19,854 --> 00:12:21,270 You burned my head! 264 00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,269 - Oh, I did. I burned him. - Really? 265 00:12:23,644 --> 00:12:26,374 Easy, camper, easy, camper. 266 00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:28,284 - Jesus Christ! How can I relax? - Relax. 267 00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:30,506 - OK, OK? - Just stop. Just stop. 268 00:12:30,509 --> 00:12:33,287 Do you have anything other than a towel and duct tape? 269 00:12:33,293 --> 00:12:34,625 Not really. 270 00:12:34,912 --> 00:12:37,049 New plan... we're going to a hospital. 271 00:12:37,082 --> 00:12:38,680 You know what, bro, actually we're going to be done 272 00:12:38,684 --> 00:12:41,530 with your plans for a little while. 'Cause the system you set up, it ain't working. 273 00:12:41,537 --> 00:12:44,922 So I got a new system. Me... both the brains and the looks. 274 00:12:44,926 --> 00:12:47,495 Charlie, you're still going to be the wild card 'cause that fireball you blew was badass. 275 00:12:47,499 --> 00:12:49,674 It was great, right? You just kind of got in the way. 276 00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:52,827 Mac, check this out though. You're going to be the muscle. 277 00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:54,266 No, I... 278 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,318 I think we've got to stick to the paradigm that we set up. 279 00:12:56,325 --> 00:12:58,341 - The A-Team... - No, no, no! 280 00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,612 - Your paragon is failing us, man. - It's a paradigm, but yeah. 281 00:13:00,617 --> 00:13:03,011 - It wasn't working. - It's not working. 282 00:13:03,028 --> 00:13:04,944 What happened was, we confused your bossiness with 283 00:13:04,947 --> 00:13:07,283 braininess, and those two are very different things. 284 00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:08,864 That is what happened. 285 00:13:08,869 --> 00:13:10,765 So, check it out. Man, I got a new plan. 286 00:13:10,772 --> 00:13:12,836 - This is what we're going to do, okay, baby? - Yeah. 287 00:13:12,914 --> 00:13:15,209 We're going to steal Frank's rape van because driving around 288 00:13:15,222 --> 00:13:17,410 with all that gasoline is ruing the interior of my car, 289 00:13:17,415 --> 00:13:19,322 - and I just... I won't have it. - No. 290 00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:21,230 Then we're going to take that van, and we're going to offer 291 00:13:21,237 --> 00:13:23,625 people something that gas stations just can't offer. 292 00:13:23,629 --> 00:13:24,622 What? 293 00:13:24,627 --> 00:13:27,965 Gasoline directly to their doorsteps. 294 00:13:27,972 --> 00:13:31,369 Door-to-door gasoline salesmen. Oh, my God, that's amazing. 295 00:13:31,373 --> 00:13:33,807 - That's a brilliant plan, right? - All right, whatever, fine. 296 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:36,469 Then I'll be the muscle. I'll muscle these pricks into buying the gas. 297 00:13:36,474 --> 00:13:38,871 Ooh, actually why don't you muscle you way back by the van, 298 00:13:38,878 --> 00:13:41,821 - because you look like a burned-up freak. - You know what? 299 00:13:41,829 --> 00:13:44,774 A look is going to be a big part of this. I'm going to get some disguises. 300 00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:46,717 Why would we need disguises, Charlie? 301 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,075 So people don't know who we are, you know. 302 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:51,168 They already don't know who we are. 303 00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:52,939 You're not letting the wild card do his thing. 304 00:13:52,944 --> 00:13:55,041 Is there any reason behind what you're doing? 305 00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:56,692 Wild card. 306 00:13:57,666 --> 00:14:01,464 Stewart's up on his second shot on the fairway, hole 15. 307 00:14:01,849 --> 00:14:04,447 I'd say it's about 195 yards. 308 00:14:04,602 --> 00:14:06,188 He has a seven iron. 309 00:14:08,842 --> 00:14:12,730 I mean, how has he been sitting there watching golf for three hours? 310 00:14:12,734 --> 00:14:14,989 - I don't know. - Is that a baby monitor? 311 00:14:14,995 --> 00:14:16,432 Oh, cut it off! 312 00:14:16,487 --> 00:14:18,404 Goddamn it! 313 00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:19,992 - Now he's suspicious of us! - Oh, no! 314 00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:21,836 - You are such a bad hider. - I'm a bad hider? 315 00:14:21,839 --> 00:14:22,977 You-you never could hide. 316 00:14:22,979 --> 00:14:26,246 I bet you still hide your money in your sock drawer. 317 00:14:26,681 --> 00:14:28,927 - My sock drawer. - Yeah. 318 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,541 Come on. That would be stupid. 319 00:14:30,545 --> 00:14:31,729 - Yeah, you do. - Just shut up. 320 00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:33,240 - You're lying to me. - I'm not lying to you. 321 00:14:33,246 --> 00:14:34,973 - I'm getting out of here. This is a setup. - What? 322 00:14:34,977 --> 00:14:37,174 You're setting me up, and I'm getting the hell out. 323 00:14:37,178 --> 00:14:38,694 Frank, get back here. 324 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:41,374 You're not gonna do this to me, girl. Get out of here. 325 00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:43,154 - I understand what's going on. - Damn it. 326 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,247 Okay, they're on the move. 327 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,827 - Hey. Son of a bitch. - I know what's going on. 328 00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,047 You think I was born yesterday? 329 00:14:47,105 --> 00:14:48,988 - Okay, go, go, go, Matt, go. - What are you talking about? 330 00:14:49,003 --> 00:14:50,760 Yeah, don't-don't lie to me. 331 00:14:50,835 --> 00:14:52,923 I have my ways of finding out things. 332 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,884 You're be, you're be so... Oh, my God. 333 00:14:54,889 --> 00:14:57,953 Is that a Muslim guy? He's getting in my van. 334 00:15:08,383 --> 00:15:10,469 Come on, dude, seriously? 335 00:15:27,977 --> 00:15:29,863 All right, well, just let me do the talking. 336 00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:32,552 Well, I feel like you got to at least talk with a Southern accent, man. 337 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,253 I'm not gonna talk in a Southern accent. It's bad enough that you wore this stupid disguise. 338 00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:37,187 But we're oil men. We would have Southern accents. 339 00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:38,696 Yeah, but we don't need bolo ties and stupid hats. 340 00:15:38,702 --> 00:15:40,506 Yes, you do. She's gonna think, uh... 341 00:15:40,511 --> 00:15:42,740 Hello, ma'am. Well, what a lovely housedress. 342 00:15:42,744 --> 00:15:45,781 Yeah, well, you're looking all sorts of good. 343 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:50,683 Now, you seem like a sweet, sophisticated, nice, busy, young lady, 344 00:15:50,686 --> 00:15:52,582 so we're not gonna waste your time today. 345 00:15:52,590 --> 00:15:56,244 Nah. We're just a couple oil men in from Dallas, and, well, 346 00:15:56,249 --> 00:16:00,307 we're itching like a hound to give you a-something you want. 347 00:16:02,123 --> 00:16:05,502 What my associate is trying to say is 348 00:16:05,516 --> 00:16:08,471 that we're here to offer your community a much-needed service... 349 00:16:08,476 --> 00:16:12,885 Hells, yeah! We want to feel you up, if'n you were so inclined as to let us. 350 00:16:13,991 --> 00:16:16,438 Please, let me do the talking. Please, let me... 351 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,858 Now, we ain't gonna take no for an answer now, you hear? Okay? 352 00:16:19,861 --> 00:16:23,639 So don't be making me sic my associate on you here, all right? 353 00:16:24,446 --> 00:16:30,123 He don't take kindly to "no." So, can I feel you up or what? 354 00:16:31,839 --> 00:16:35,435 Yep, you best get to stepping, because Johnny Law's a-coming. 355 00:16:35,442 --> 00:16:37,979 You might want to start driving because she called the cops on us. 356 00:16:38,062 --> 00:16:39,099 Why's he talking like that? 357 00:16:39,114 --> 00:16:41,378 Well, wild card over here decided to lose his mind. 358 00:16:41,385 --> 00:16:43,662 I say, I say, that's just damn preposterous, boy. 359 00:16:43,717 --> 00:16:45,741 Well, now you're just talking like Foghorn Leghorn! 360 00:16:45,746 --> 00:16:47,773 All right, guys, I think it's time we cut our losses and go back 361 00:16:47,779 --> 00:16:49,425 - to the original plan. - Ah, the generator. 362 00:16:49,429 --> 00:16:51,245 No, not the generator. 363 00:16:51,248 --> 00:16:53,117 - Storing the gas and patties. - All right. 364 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,349 Okay? It's too soon to sell this gas anyway, so shut the door. 365 00:16:55,352 --> 00:16:57,079 - Go, go, go, go. - Okay, okay, okay. 366 00:17:01,765 --> 00:17:04,623 All right, admit it, that Muslim guy was gonna rub me out, 367 00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:08,155 and that's when you jumped out of the van after I got out! 368 00:17:08,158 --> 00:17:09,963 Admit it, come on! 369 00:17:09,970 --> 00:17:11,804 Oh, my God, I don't know what you're talking about! 370 00:17:11,809 --> 00:17:14,467 Oh, don't lie to me! Come on, admit it! 371 00:17:14,472 --> 00:17:16,219 Okay, okay, I admit it! 372 00:17:16,225 --> 00:17:18,528 - What do you admit?! - I admit anything you want to hear! 373 00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:20,921 Now, you admit that Bruce Mathis is a terrorist... 374 00:17:20,927 --> 00:17:23,033 - He's a terrorist! - And that you are working for him! 375 00:17:23,036 --> 00:17:26,522 Yes, I work for him. We get our information from the top, the top cave. 376 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:29,377 Don't bullshit me! That's all I got to say! 377 00:17:30,811 --> 00:17:34,210 Like what I'm seeing here, Frank. Bring me up to speed. 378 00:17:34,215 --> 00:17:36,480 I'm waterboarding your sister because she's 379 00:17:36,483 --> 00:17:38,991 - escalating the plot to kill us. - Dennis, help me! 380 00:17:38,996 --> 00:17:41,562 Why the hell would I help you, Dee? You're still plotting to kill me. 381 00:17:41,577 --> 00:17:43,514 - No! Help! - Shut up! 382 00:17:43,519 --> 00:17:45,203 Shut up! Shut up! 383 00:17:45,217 --> 00:17:47,245 - Yeah, shut up. - Tell me what's going on! 384 00:17:47,249 --> 00:17:49,335 Hey, Frank, by the way, we borrowed that pathetic rape van 385 00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:51,216 of yours; you got to get that gas pedal fixed, man. 386 00:17:51,224 --> 00:17:54,279 Mac rammed into some dude's car, like, five times. It was amazing. 387 00:17:54,285 --> 00:17:57,579 You guys took the van? I thought it was some Muslim guy. 388 00:17:57,584 --> 00:17:59,891 - No, not really. - What is going on in here? 389 00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:03,986 - Frank's waterboarding Dee. - You guys?! You took the van?! 390 00:18:04,229 --> 00:18:07,544 - Well, hell, yeah. - Oh, my God, I just realized something. 391 00:18:07,910 --> 00:18:10,078 Frank is the muscle. 392 00:18:10,114 --> 00:18:11,450 What? 393 00:18:11,452 --> 00:18:13,558 The reason that shit hasn't been working out for us is 394 00:18:13,566 --> 00:18:16,371 because we are not working with our full crew. 395 00:18:16,374 --> 00:18:19,054 I'm the brains, you're the looks, Charlie's the wild card, 396 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:21,313 and Frank is the muscle. 397 00:18:21,877 --> 00:18:24,685 - Well, what's Dee? - She's the useless chick. 398 00:18:24,692 --> 00:18:25,887 Yeah! 399 00:18:25,892 --> 00:18:28,189 - You see? We complete it! - Yeah! 400 00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:29,837 We all complete the team! 401 00:18:29,854 --> 00:18:32,688 Now, if we stick together, guys, we can do anything. 402 00:18:32,693 --> 00:18:36,362 Now, question: Frank, does that waterboard really work? 403 00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:38,373 You bet your ass! 404 00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:40,882 I got Dee to admit to things she never did! 405 00:18:40,888 --> 00:18:42,563 Well, then it works. 406 00:18:42,641 --> 00:18:45,598 All right, then, gentlemen, I got a new plan. 407 00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:56,093 Bruce's, we slip in and we grab him. 408 00:18:56,098 --> 00:18:57,612 Shouldn't you guys have gotten these barrels out of the 409 00:18:57,618 --> 00:18:59,274 - van before we got in? - They're really heavy, Dee. 410 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,825 We've already had to do it, like, a million times. 411 00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:03,846 - Where'd you get the money for this gas? - Dee, will you shut up and let me continue? 412 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,287 Now, Frank, when we get back to the bar, you waterboard the shit 413 00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:08,120 - out of Bruce and get a confession. - No problem. 414 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,328 Now, Dennis, you take that confession to the police, use 415 00:19:10,336 --> 00:19:12,872 your charm and good looks, and get that reward money. 416 00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:15,324 - Done and done. - Okay, Dee, you continue to be useless. 417 00:19:15,338 --> 00:19:17,954 Charlie and I will use that reward money to pay off our electricity bill. 418 00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:21,146 Then we'll probably buy some more gasoline 'cause I feel like that's a great plan. 419 00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,249 Wait. Brakes don't... Brakes don't work. 420 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,810 - The gas pedal. - No, I'm saying, no, the brakes! 421 00:19:25,812 --> 00:19:28,289 - Wiggle the gas pedal. - Guys, why aren't the brakes working? 422 00:19:28,294 --> 00:19:31,311 Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches! 423 00:19:34,187 --> 00:19:35,992 - What?! Charlie! - Holy shit! 424 00:19:35,999 --> 00:19:37,383 - Oh, God! - Oh, my God! 425 00:19:37,390 --> 00:19:38,426 Oh, God! 426 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,764 Jesus Christ, guys, I can't stop this van! 427 00:19:39,769 --> 00:19:41,755 - Seriously?! - Abort! Abort! 428 00:19:42,463 --> 00:19:43,847 Go! 429 00:19:43,852 --> 00:19:47,560 Mastersfield steps up to the tee, eight strokes behind the leader. 430 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,920 Hole number 17, 338 yards, dogleg left. 431 00:20:02,671 --> 00:20:05,649 Oh, goddamn it! What the hell, man?! 432 00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:08,942 Ah, my van. 433 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:14,104 Why is someone trying to ruin my life?! 434 00:20:14,109 --> 00:20:16,614 I didn't do anything to anybody, man! 435 00:20:16,622 --> 00:20:18,356 I love that car! 436 00:20:18,371 --> 00:20:21,480 That's, uh, that's not Bruce, is it? 437 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,239 No. 438 00:20:26,095 --> 00:20:28,251 If there's something strange. 439 00:20:28,257 --> 00:20:32,034 In your neighborhood Who you gonna call? 440 00:20:32,037 --> 00:20:34,094 Ghostbusters!