1
00:00:11,537 --> 00:00:13,673
I'm-a order some
chili cheese fries.
2
00:00:13,706 --> 00:00:16,476
-Oh, yeah? Get me some.
-Anybody else want an order?
3
00:00:16,509 --> 00:00:18,178
A delivery
of chili cheese fries?
4
00:00:18,212 --> 00:00:21,015
They'll be mush by the time
they get here. No way.
5
00:00:21,048 --> 00:00:23,683
Aah! Shit.
6
00:00:23,716 --> 00:00:26,519
What are you doing, man?
You can't hit it that hard.
7
00:00:26,552 --> 00:00:28,521
You got to use more finesse.
8
00:00:28,554 --> 00:00:29,522
Well, finesse isn't
really my style, Charlie.
9
00:00:29,555 --> 00:00:32,458
I like to dominate the table
into submission.
10
00:00:32,492 --> 00:00:34,694
Dennis, I got to head out.
Tip me out.
11
00:00:34,727 --> 00:00:36,729
- What?
- Give me my tips.
12
00:00:36,763 --> 00:00:37,965
What tips, Dee?
What are you talking about?
13
00:00:37,998 --> 00:00:39,900
Hey, any of you guys
tip Dee today?
14
00:00:39,934 --> 00:00:41,567
-For what?
-Hell no.
15
00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:43,070
- No.
- All right, whatever.
16
00:00:43,103 --> 00:00:44,837
Just give me 40 bucks
from the register.
17
00:00:44,871 --> 00:00:46,506
What do you need money for?
18
00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:47,840
I'm going out.
I just need a little cash.
19
00:00:47,874 --> 00:00:50,044
Where you going?
20
00:00:50,077 --> 00:00:53,680
I'm going to a fancy place with
some fancy new friends of mine.
21
00:00:53,713 --> 00:00:55,615
-What friends?
-What is happening?
22
00:00:55,648 --> 00:00:57,084
Why is everyone
asking me questions?
23
00:00:57,117 --> 00:00:58,518
Well, it's 'cause you're
sneaking around trying
24
00:00:58,551 --> 00:00:59,752
to steal money
that you haven't earned
25
00:00:59,786 --> 00:01:01,587
and looking like
Carmen Sandiego.
26
00:01:01,621 --> 00:01:03,556
I mean, what-what
are we supposed to think?
27
00:01:03,589 --> 00:01:05,591
-W-What are you hiding, Dee?
-What?
28
00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:06,492
-Let me see
what's under that coat.
-No.
29
00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:07,394
-I want to see what's under it.
-No.
30
00:01:07,428 --> 00:01:09,762
-Show me.
-She's hiding something, Dennis.
31
00:01:09,796 --> 00:01:11,098
You want me to hold her down
and rip it off her?
32
00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:15,568
- Yeah.
- Go, Mac. Go, go, go.
-Stop it.
33
00:01:15,601 --> 00:01:16,569
-Okay, okay...
-Stop. Stop it. Don't touch me.
34
00:01:16,602 --> 00:01:18,939
Don't touch me. Okay?
35
00:01:18,973 --> 00:01:22,943
I decided that I want
to take off the coat,
36
00:01:22,977 --> 00:01:26,013
'cause it's hot in here.
37
00:01:28,082 --> 00:01:30,550
Bowling? That's the fancy outing
you were, uh, hiding from us?
38
00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:32,719
Dee, why were you hiding
that from us?
39
00:01:32,752 --> 00:01:34,554
Because it's my thing, okay?
It's not your thing,
40
00:01:34,587 --> 00:01:36,090
and I don't want
you guys getting involved.
41
00:01:36,123 --> 00:01:38,125
As if.
42
00:01:38,158 --> 00:01:40,127
-As if, Dee.
-As if.
43
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,562
-As if.
-As if, Dee. As if.
44
00:01:42,595 --> 00:01:43,763
Yeah, okay. All right.
45
00:01:43,796 --> 00:01:46,599
Well, I'm gonna head out.
You guys enjoy sitting around
46
00:01:46,632 --> 00:01:48,936
with your ding-dongs in your
hand doing nothing all night.
47
00:01:48,969 --> 00:01:51,604
Ugh.
48
00:01:51,637 --> 00:01:53,573
- Ding-dongs in our hand--
What is she talking--
49
00:01:53,606 --> 00:01:55,109
-What a bitch. God.
-Yeah.
50
00:01:55,142 --> 00:01:57,144
My ding-dong wasn't even in
my hand. I mean, what do you...
51
00:01:57,177 --> 00:01:58,212
-Mine was.
-Yeah, so was mine.
52
00:01:58,245 --> 00:02:00,580
Yeah, I was scratching mine
when she said that.
53
00:02:00,613 --> 00:02:01,915
I-I had my hands
fully down my pants,
54
00:02:01,949 --> 00:02:03,117
if I'm being honest.
55
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:04,784
I had to push it to the left.
56
00:02:04,817 --> 00:02:06,253
-They get itchy in there.
-That's a, such a coincidence.
57
00:02:06,286 --> 00:02:07,820
-That is a lucky guess.
-That's a crazy-- yeah.
58
00:02:07,854 --> 00:02:09,822
-It was a lucky guess.
-It was a lucky guess.
59
00:02:09,856 --> 00:02:12,059
But that's not the point.
Look-look, the point is...
60
00:02:12,092 --> 00:02:14,094
...we have
a lot better things to do
61
00:02:14,128 --> 00:02:15,762
than just go bowling.
62
00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:40,720
Oh, hello, ladies.
You ready to roll?
63
00:02:40,753 --> 00:02:42,655
Why is everybody
sitting on their butts?
64
00:02:42,688 --> 00:02:44,657
We've been waiting here
for 20 minutes.
65
00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:46,692
Okay, well, listen,
things are just gonna be
66
00:02:46,726 --> 00:02:48,694
a little different
if you want me on your team.
67
00:02:48,728 --> 00:02:49,562
I show up when I want.
68
00:02:49,595 --> 00:02:50,998
Well, we don't want you
on our team.
69
00:02:51,031 --> 00:02:52,032
It's just that our fourth
didn't show up
70
00:02:52,066 --> 00:02:53,267
and literally no one else
71
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,201
was free on a Friday night.
72
00:02:54,234 --> 00:02:55,936
-So you want me to be here.
-Not really.
73
00:02:55,969 --> 00:02:57,304
Awesome. Good.
74
00:02:57,337 --> 00:02:58,771
Do you have the $35 team fee?
75
00:02:58,805 --> 00:03:01,308
-Ooh, I do not, but I have...
-Okay.
76
00:03:01,341 --> 00:03:03,143
...something
much more valuable:
77
00:03:03,177 --> 00:03:04,710
my expertise.
78
00:03:04,744 --> 00:03:06,146
So listen to me
and you'll be in business.
79
00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:08,282
Anyone want to snort
Jell-O shots?
80
00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:09,316
- Oh...
- Snail?
81
00:03:09,349 --> 00:03:10,716
You're on the team?
82
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:11,851
Yeah, I love bowling.
83
00:03:11,885 --> 00:03:14,720
The whole scene is so hot.
84
00:03:14,754 --> 00:03:15,989
I sucked off a rando
in the parking lot.
85
00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:17,790
Ugh, my mouth hurts.
86
00:03:17,824 --> 00:03:20,760
Gross. Waitress,
you're responsible for this?
87
00:03:20,793 --> 00:03:22,728
I'm not responsible for this,
but this is my team, okay?
88
00:03:22,762 --> 00:03:24,797
So you can't just come in here
and take over,
89
00:03:24,831 --> 00:03:26,799
come in late,
not have your money, okay?
90
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:30,703
I signed us up, I booked
the lane, I made us shirts.
91
00:03:30,736 --> 00:03:33,307
I even found us an appliance
company to sponsor us.
92
00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:36,676
-Frige-it.
-"Frige-it Bitches"?
93
00:03:36,709 --> 00:03:38,145
- Yeah.
- God, you guys are stupid.
94
00:03:38,178 --> 00:03:39,913
-I'm not wearing this.
-No, it's so funny.
95
00:03:39,947 --> 00:03:41,982
-It's not funny.
-We've been laughing all night.
96
00:03:42,015 --> 00:03:43,350
-That doesn't surprise me.
Now listen up.
-Okay...
97
00:03:43,383 --> 00:03:45,718
-We're not here to laugh
or be funny.
-No, thank you.
98
00:03:45,751 --> 00:03:46,920
-We're here to win.
-Oh, God.
99
00:03:46,954 --> 00:03:48,688
Which you can do
if you listen to me.
100
00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:51,691
Or perhaps I should let
my balls do the talking.
101
00:03:51,724 --> 00:03:53,659
-Please do.
-Yeah.
102
00:04:02,802 --> 00:04:04,837
Hot shit, Dee.
103
00:04:04,871 --> 00:04:06,240
- Do I have your attention?
- Well, well, well.
104
00:04:06,273 --> 00:04:08,774
-Oh, God.
-What?
105
00:04:08,808 --> 00:04:10,010
Pretty nice roll, Deandra.
106
00:04:10,043 --> 00:04:12,012
Too bad it'll be your last.
107
00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,047
Can you please just leave and
let me have one thing to myself?
108
00:04:14,081 --> 00:04:15,781
Nah.
109
00:04:15,815 --> 00:04:17,750
So these, uh, "frigid bitches,"
110
00:04:17,783 --> 00:04:19,286
these are your new
"fancy friends"?
111
00:04:19,319 --> 00:04:21,255
What is this,
some kind of women's league?
112
00:04:21,288 --> 00:04:22,890
It's a coed tournament.
113
00:04:22,923 --> 00:04:25,791
So you'll be
competing against men?
114
00:04:25,825 --> 00:04:28,228
Vaginas and penises
together again.
115
00:04:28,262 --> 00:04:29,829
I'll tell you what,
why don't we join this league
116
00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:31,664
and have ourselves
a little competition?
117
00:04:32,865 --> 00:04:35,369
Or are you too scared
that you'll lose to us?
118
00:04:39,273 --> 00:04:41,774
He did one, so I thought
we were doing... Okay.
119
00:04:41,807 --> 00:04:42,808
Shit.
120
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:44,244
Anyone got a straw?
121
00:04:44,278 --> 00:04:45,778
-I didn't know.
-Okay.
-It's fine. All right.
122
00:04:45,811 --> 00:04:46,413
-Hey!
-Hey, guys?
-Let's have it.
123
00:04:47,881 --> 00:04:48,714
- Oh, for Christ's sakes.
- Shit.
124
00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:50,750
-Are you kidding me?
-Please tell me
125
00:04:50,783 --> 00:04:52,386
you guys don't own
this bowling alley.
126
00:04:52,419 --> 00:04:53,887
We got out
of the video rental business
127
00:04:53,921 --> 00:04:55,755
just after the bubble burst.
128
00:04:55,788 --> 00:04:57,391
Bowling's always been
in our blood.
129
00:04:57,424 --> 00:04:58,791
Ryan's got the forearms
130
00:04:58,824 --> 00:04:59,792
of an elephant wrangler.
131
00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,295
He could have been pro.
132
00:05:01,328 --> 00:05:02,828
I could have been.
133
00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:04,764
If not for my tragic accident.
134
00:05:04,797 --> 00:05:07,301
The story is too horrible
for words, so don't ask me...
135
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:08,402
-We-we...
-We're not gonna ask.
We don't really care
136
00:05:08,435 --> 00:05:10,304
-about that, yeah.
-You can keep that to yourself.
137
00:05:10,337 --> 00:05:13,140
I'd tell you, but you wouldn't
be able to handle it.
138
00:05:13,173 --> 00:05:15,775
-You clearly want to tell us,
but we're not here for it.
-We don't want to hear it.
139
00:05:15,808 --> 00:05:17,777
Listen, I'm moving past this.
Can we sign up for the league?
140
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:20,113
-Impossible.
-Why, is it too late to sign up?
141
00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:22,916
No, you just couldn't afford it.
142
00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:24,850
-How much is it?
-$35.
143
00:05:24,885 --> 00:05:26,819
-We got that.
-Well, we got that, yeah.
That's fine.
144
00:05:26,852 --> 00:05:28,788
Each.
145
00:05:28,821 --> 00:05:31,458
-Uh, do you mind covering us?
-That's still...
146
00:05:31,491 --> 00:05:33,126
W-We're good, we're good, yeah.
147
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,827
Hey, listen, can we play
the Frigid Bitches first?
148
00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:36,263
Sure, whatever.
I don't give a shit.
149
00:05:36,296 --> 00:05:38,031
You guys got
chili cheese fries here?
150
00:05:38,065 --> 00:05:39,366
Franklin, we do have chili
151
00:05:39,399 --> 00:05:40,833
and we do have cheese
and we do have fries,
152
00:05:40,866 --> 00:05:43,103
but combining them
is strictly prohibited.
153
00:05:43,136 --> 00:05:45,505
-Why?
-The story is too terrible
to tell.
154
00:05:45,539 --> 00:05:47,174
-Oh, for Christ's sake.
Nobody cares.
-Oh, Christ's sake.
155
00:05:47,207 --> 00:05:48,874
-Sign us up for the league.
-We won't combine the fries.
156
00:05:48,909 --> 00:05:50,911
Make sure we're playing
the Frigid Bitches.
157
00:05:50,944 --> 00:05:52,913
Yeah, give us some shoes.
W-What size shoe...
158
00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:54,814
-All right, how you doing?
-We'll get the shoes.
159
00:05:54,847 --> 00:05:57,783
Three, two, one and smile.
160
00:05:57,817 --> 00:05:59,353
Great.
161
00:05:59,386 --> 00:06:00,954
-Okay.
-Let me check that picture.
162
00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,189
-How's my ass look?
-Okay.
163
00:06:02,222 --> 00:06:03,957
That looks pretty good.
164
00:06:03,991 --> 00:06:05,825
Oh, it looks huge. Sick.
165
00:06:05,858 --> 00:06:08,128
Can we take another? I wasn't
sufficiently in character.
166
00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:10,030
-In character?
-Yes, character.
167
00:06:10,063 --> 00:06:11,831
I'm researching
a character I'm playing
168
00:06:11,864 --> 00:06:14,800
named Donna Brunswick of
the Brunswick Bowling Dynasty.
169
00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:17,004
Oh, goddamn. You guys are not
taking this seriously.
170
00:06:17,037 --> 00:06:18,372
Okay? Let's cut the BS.
171
00:06:18,405 --> 00:06:20,073
As your leader,
I demand we cut the BS.
172
00:06:20,107 --> 00:06:21,308
Now let's talk order.
173
00:06:21,341 --> 00:06:23,843
I'm thinking Snail, Artemis,
174
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:25,912
- Waitress, best for last.
- -Okay, I'm just gonna remind you
175
00:06:25,946 --> 00:06:28,081
that you're not the leader
and you can't be the leader
176
00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:29,549
'cause you don't even know
everyone's names.
177
00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:31,885
Mm, can you switch mine
to "Donna"?
178
00:06:31,918 --> 00:06:33,853
- No.
- Well, well, well.
Looks like
179
00:06:33,887 --> 00:06:37,424
the Frigid Bitches are going up
against the Hanging Monster Dong
180
00:06:37,457 --> 00:06:40,527
Lucky Strike
Chili Cheese Fryers.
181
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,695
Is that your name?
That's really stupid.
182
00:06:41,728 --> 00:06:43,230
-It's too many ideas, man.
-I told you it was stupid.
183
00:06:43,263 --> 00:06:44,864
I-I knew they were gonna
make fun of us
184
00:06:44,898 --> 00:06:47,200
-and they did make fun of us.
-Yeah, 'cause it's stupid.
185
00:06:47,234 --> 00:06:48,935
You know what?
Uh, but it doesn't matter,
186
00:06:48,969 --> 00:06:50,237
'cause you guys are dead meat.
187
00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:53,240
Hey, did Dee happen
to tell you the history
188
00:06:53,273 --> 00:06:54,941
of her experience with bowling?
189
00:06:54,975 --> 00:06:57,411
- No.
- -You should tell them, you should tell them.
190
00:06:57,444 --> 00:06:59,913
-You tell them, you tell them.
-Tell them, tell them.
-I-I was about to.
191
00:06:59,946 --> 00:07:01,915
-I don't know.
-Oh, you were?
-I was about to. Yes.
192
00:07:01,948 --> 00:07:04,117
- Are we doing
the laugh?
- He's gonna tell you.
193
00:07:04,151 --> 00:07:05,886
-Are we doing laughs?
-Yeah, uh, no.
I'll just tell it.
194
00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:08,088
-He's gonna tell you.
-Okay, well, when she was a kid,
195
00:07:08,121 --> 00:07:10,590
she was, well,
she was pretty decent.
196
00:07:10,624 --> 00:07:12,926
And I got to say, she worked
really, really hard at it.
197
00:07:12,959 --> 00:07:16,463
So, she eventually became
the captain of the girls' team.
198
00:07:16,496 --> 00:07:17,898
Can you believe that?
199
00:07:17,931 --> 00:07:20,300
Now, I'm no fan
of women's sports.
200
00:07:20,334 --> 00:07:22,269
-Who is?
-Yeah, they're not very popular.
-Nobody is.
201
00:07:22,302 --> 00:07:23,904
Nobody watches--
Especially women.
202
00:07:23,937 --> 00:07:24,905
Women don't even like
women's sports.
203
00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:26,907
So I wouldn't have it.
204
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:29,910
And to prove
that Dee's female mind
205
00:07:29,943 --> 00:07:31,311
was mentally weak,
206
00:07:31,345 --> 00:07:33,313
I started to go watch her,
207
00:07:33,347 --> 00:07:36,583
and I would say, "gutter ball"
208
00:07:36,616 --> 00:07:40,087
right before she rolled it,
and wouldn't you know it,
209
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,989
every time I said it,
210
00:07:43,023 --> 00:07:45,659
she'd roll a gutter ball.
211
00:07:45,692 --> 00:07:47,461
Since then,
212
00:07:47,494 --> 00:07:50,130
if I even so much as
look at Dee when she bowls,
213
00:07:50,163 --> 00:07:52,466
she can't knock down
a single pin.
214
00:07:52,499 --> 00:07:55,902
Not even one.
215
00:07:58,305 --> 00:08:00,440
Well, that's
a bit of an exaggeration.
216
00:08:00,474 --> 00:08:02,109
Anyway, good luck out there.
217
00:08:02,142 --> 00:08:04,311
- Mm.
- Ladies.
218
00:08:04,344 --> 00:08:06,313
Gentlemen.
219
00:08:06,346 --> 00:08:07,013
-That was so good.
-That was really good.
220
00:08:07,047 --> 00:08:08,148
That was really good, Dennis.
221
00:08:11,318 --> 00:08:12,986
All right, I'm looking at
their lineup and I'm wondering
222
00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:14,121
who should lead us off
against Snail.
223
00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:15,489
I'll start. It'll be good
224
00:08:15,522 --> 00:08:17,357
to show our power and dominance,
you know,
225
00:08:17,391 --> 00:08:18,959
-for intimidation.
-Uh, Frank?
226
00:08:18,992 --> 00:08:20,961
You should go against Artemis.
She's next.
227
00:08:20,994 --> 00:08:22,496
Okay? And-and you should
go up after that, 'cause it's
228
00:08:22,529 --> 00:08:24,197
The Waitress, and you're
gonna irritate the shit
229
00:08:24,231 --> 00:08:25,365
-out of her and that-that's
a good thing, okay?
-Yeah.
230
00:08:25,399 --> 00:08:27,000
Oh, shit.
231
00:08:27,033 --> 00:08:28,969
- What?
- Uh...
232
00:08:29,002 --> 00:08:30,303
Some kid's having, like,
a birthday party in the arcade
233
00:08:30,337 --> 00:08:32,172
-or something.
-Okay. So what?
234
00:08:32,205 --> 00:08:34,541
-It looks fun.
-Charlie, do not be that guy
235
00:08:34,574 --> 00:08:36,176
that everyone's looking for
when it's their turn.
236
00:08:36,209 --> 00:08:37,644
-Oh, yeah. Yeah.
-That shit drives me crazy.
237
00:08:37,677 --> 00:08:39,446
-Please don't be that guy.
-Yeah. Yeah.
238
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:41,214
Okay, I'll go last against Dee
because it's gonna be
239
00:08:41,248 --> 00:08:43,183
- a lot of fun getting
in her head, so...
240
00:08:43,216 --> 00:08:45,018
It's gonna really mess her up.
It's gonna be awesome.
241
00:08:45,051 --> 00:08:47,187
All right. Hands in, boys.
Say it on three.
242
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,222
- Hanging Monster Ch...
- Now I'm forgetting it.
243
00:08:49,256 --> 00:08:50,724
Chili Cheese Fryers!
244
00:08:50,757 --> 00:08:51,992
-Cheese fries. Yeah.
-Oh, now I should go...
245
00:08:55,061 --> 00:08:56,663
Let's do it, bud.
246
00:08:56,696 --> 00:08:58,064
Let's go, man.
247
00:08:58,098 --> 00:09:00,967
Stride, stride, stride, execute.
248
00:09:03,703 --> 00:09:05,972
-Okay, not bad, not bad, Mac.
-Not bad.
249
00:09:06,006 --> 00:09:07,207
Not bad, dude.
250
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,074
Come on, Snail.
251
00:09:08,108 --> 00:09:09,075
What the...
252
00:09:09,109 --> 00:09:10,644
What? What?
253
00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:11,645
Okay,
254
00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:13,046
why are you so happy right now?
255
00:09:13,079 --> 00:09:14,381
Gail. What the hell was that?
256
00:09:14,414 --> 00:09:16,683
-Ooh, my cooter's
on fire for Mac.
-Ew.
257
00:09:16,716 --> 00:09:18,718
I want to have his baby.
258
00:09:18,752 --> 00:09:21,054
Your cooter is most likely
on fire from a yeast infection.
259
00:09:21,087 --> 00:09:23,190
Go in the bathroom, rinse it out
and be better next time.
260
00:09:23,223 --> 00:09:26,092
Dennis, cover me. Cover me.
261
00:09:26,126 --> 00:09:29,329
Ryan's eyeballing me
and I'm trying to mix these.
262
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:30,530
-I can't do that right now.
-What? Just go, go...
263
00:09:30,564 --> 00:09:31,765
-No, I got...
-Go stand over here.
264
00:09:31,798 --> 00:09:34,000
I got Liam over here
eyeballing me.
265
00:09:34,034 --> 00:09:36,102
I mean, I...
266
00:09:36,136 --> 00:09:37,737
I think he is. Little hard
to tell with the eyepatch.
267
00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:40,574
Ah. Anyway, it's your,
it's your roll, man.
268
00:09:40,607 --> 00:09:42,175
-Go, go, go. Go, yeah.
-Oh. I'm up?
269
00:09:42,209 --> 00:09:43,276
-Yes, you're up.
-Up.
270
00:09:46,146 --> 00:09:48,715
-Artemis.
-Frank.
271
00:09:48,748 --> 00:09:51,284
How about we, uh,
test out the back seat
272
00:09:51,318 --> 00:09:54,120
of my LeBaron after the roll?
273
00:09:54,154 --> 00:09:56,122
Everybody stop trying
to have sex with each other.
274
00:09:56,156 --> 00:09:56,958
Hey, you know,
another reason why
275
00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,124
men and women
can't compete, Dee.
276
00:09:58,158 --> 00:09:59,426
It's too sexually charged.
277
00:09:59,459 --> 00:10:01,061
Come on.
278
00:10:01,094 --> 00:10:02,429
-All right.
-Donna Brunswick...
279
00:10:07,734 --> 00:10:09,102
Strike.
280
00:10:09,135 --> 00:10:10,770
-Oh!
-Hey!
281
00:10:10,804 --> 00:10:12,272
Nice.
282
00:10:12,305 --> 00:10:14,641
-Artemis, you can bowl?
-No.
283
00:10:14,674 --> 00:10:17,477
My character can.
Me, I can't bowl for shit.
284
00:10:17,511 --> 00:10:19,346
Oh.
285
00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:24,050
Oh, my God.
286
00:10:29,122 --> 00:10:30,257
It's not gonna make it.
287
00:10:36,763 --> 00:10:37,764
Strike.
288
00:10:38,832 --> 00:10:40,300
-Oh, ho.
-Oh.
289
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:40,867
All right, Frank.
290
00:10:40,902 --> 00:10:43,069
Good job, Frank.
291
00:10:43,103 --> 00:10:44,771
- All right, Frank.
- What? Oh, bullshit.
292
00:10:44,804 --> 00:10:46,273
No, come on, that doesn't count.
293
00:10:46,306 --> 00:10:47,507
Uh, no, the computer counted it,
so it counts.
294
00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:49,743
-That counts.
-Hey, Artemis, let's mush.
295
00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:51,678
What? No. No. You're not gonna
miss your turn, okay?
296
00:10:51,711 --> 00:10:53,280
If you must mush, mush later.
297
00:10:53,313 --> 00:10:54,281
A quickie.
298
00:10:54,314 --> 00:10:56,616
-Quickie it is.
-What?
299
00:10:56,650 --> 00:10:58,652
My character is also
a giant whore, which is what
300
00:10:58,685 --> 00:11:00,287
attracted me to the role
in the first place, so...
301
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,088
- No. No, no.
- Come on,
you can't go now.
302
00:11:02,122 --> 00:11:03,790
Well, mush fast!
303
00:11:06,393 --> 00:11:07,627
-Come on.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
304
00:11:07,661 --> 00:11:08,795
I'm going, I'm going. Oh!
305
00:11:08,828 --> 00:11:11,197
Hey, Tyrone,
do not take my spot!
306
00:11:11,231 --> 00:11:14,167
Do not take my spot
at the air hockey table.
307
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,769
-Charlie, shut up.
-You should see the party
they got going there.
308
00:11:15,802 --> 00:11:17,170
-It's great.
They got one of those...
-I don't care.
309
00:11:17,203 --> 00:11:18,705
...punching machines
that rates how, like,
310
00:11:18,738 --> 00:11:19,806
-how much power
you have in your punch.
-I don't care.
311
00:11:19,839 --> 00:11:20,640
-Shut up, I'm trying to focus.
-It's totally crazy.
312
00:11:20,674 --> 00:11:22,609
By the way,
your hair looks great.
313
00:11:22,642 --> 00:11:24,511
Charlie, shut up,
I'm trying to focus.
314
00:11:24,544 --> 00:11:26,346
-Did you, like,
change your hair or something?
-Oh, my God.
315
00:11:26,379 --> 00:11:28,315
Elbow in,
slight bend in the knee,
316
00:11:28,348 --> 00:11:29,884
-and...
-What the...
317
00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:31,518
Oh...
318
00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:32,719
-God!
-Tyrone!
319
00:11:32,752 --> 00:11:34,254
Come on.
320
00:11:34,287 --> 00:11:35,789
All right. I'm coming!
321
00:11:35,822 --> 00:11:37,324
-Charlie, Charlie,
where you going?
-Where you going?
322
00:11:37,357 --> 00:11:38,893
-Put the cake down...
-I'll be back.
323
00:11:41,194 --> 00:11:43,196
-Dee, you want to go first?
-Don't... Stop it.
324
00:11:43,229 --> 00:11:44,731
-I know what you're doing.
-I'm not gonna say anything.
325
00:11:44,764 --> 00:11:46,199
I swear to God.
Please, I insist.
326
00:11:46,232 --> 00:11:48,168
I'm not.
327
00:11:48,201 --> 00:11:50,403
-Fine.
-All right. Come on, Dee.
328
00:11:52,606 --> 00:11:53,840
Gutter ball.
329
00:11:53,873 --> 00:11:56,209
You-you dick.
330
00:11:56,242 --> 00:11:57,711
-Sorry. I'm sorry.
-That's not funny.
331
00:11:57,744 --> 00:12:00,180
I couldn't resist.
It's... Sorry.
332
00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,254
Strike.
333
00:12:09,222 --> 00:12:10,925
Don't say it again.
334
00:12:10,958 --> 00:12:13,928
-Okay? Just leave me alone.
-I'm not. I just... I'm not.
335
00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:15,195
Gutter ball.
336
00:12:15,228 --> 00:12:17,697
You goddamned son of a bitch!
337
00:12:19,232 --> 00:12:21,234
How are you gonna talk to me
about form
338
00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:23,737
-after you bowl like that?
-Get off my back,
you frigid bitch.
339
00:12:23,770 --> 00:12:25,438
I knew inviting you
was a bad idea.
340
00:12:25,472 --> 00:12:26,773
Well, then, don't invite me.
Then don't invite me next time.
341
00:12:26,806 --> 00:12:28,508
I didn't invite...
342
00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:31,277
Oh, isn't this fun?
343
00:12:31,311 --> 00:12:34,547
Yeah. Yet another reason why
women can't compete with men.
344
00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:36,449
Besides your
physical limitations,
345
00:12:36,483 --> 00:12:38,551
if given the opportunity
to either work together
346
00:12:38,585 --> 00:12:41,588
as a team
or tear each other apart,
347
00:12:41,621 --> 00:12:43,590
you will always choose
the latter.
348
00:12:43,623 --> 00:12:45,759
Because women are
349
00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:48,595
devious a-and destructive
350
00:12:48,628 --> 00:12:51,531
and will always default
to using their insidious venom
351
00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:53,633
on the most sought-after
victim of all...
352
00:12:55,002 --> 00:12:56,870
...each other.
353
00:13:01,341 --> 00:13:03,276
Okay, Dennis is right.
Just hear me out.
354
00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:05,545
If we want to win,
we can't compete like men,
355
00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:07,814
but what we can do
is use those skills
356
00:13:07,847 --> 00:13:10,316
of mental manipulation
against them.
357
00:13:10,350 --> 00:13:11,584
Do you want to know why?
358
00:13:11,618 --> 00:13:12,786
Why?
359
00:13:12,819 --> 00:13:15,822
Because... they're stupid.
360
00:13:19,359 --> 00:13:21,828
Hey, Mac, how come
you throw the ball so straight?
361
00:13:21,861 --> 00:13:24,297
I throw the ball straight
because, as a man,
362
00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:26,399
dominance is my sporting style.
363
00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:29,335
Uh, I heard it's 'cause
you have no finesse.
364
00:13:29,369 --> 00:13:31,838
-You don't know
how to spin the ball.
-What?
365
00:13:31,871 --> 00:13:33,306
-Yeah.
-I have finesse.
I could spin the ball.
366
00:13:33,339 --> 00:13:34,574
-You want to see me?
-Yeah.
367
00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:35,910
-Yeah...
-Hey, uh, Mac? Mac?
368
00:13:35,943 --> 00:13:37,277
Can I talk to you for a second?
369
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:38,278
Yeah.
370
00:13:38,311 --> 00:13:40,680
Do not try and spin the ball.
371
00:13:40,714 --> 00:13:43,017
She said that I can't spin,
and I can spin.
372
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:44,684
-You-- Do not try it.
-But Dennis, she said
I have no finesse,
373
00:13:44,718 --> 00:13:45,953
-and you know
that I have finesse.
-Don't-don't do it.
374
00:13:45,986 --> 00:13:46,720
-Don't do it.
Just play your game.
-Can I just spin one?
375
00:13:46,753 --> 00:13:48,354
-I don't care...
-Let me spin one.
376
00:13:48,388 --> 00:13:49,756
You don't need to spin it.
377
00:13:49,789 --> 00:13:51,324
You just play your game
and we're gonna win.
378
00:13:51,357 --> 00:13:52,525
Okay? Do not spin it.
379
00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:53,693
Do not do it.
380
00:13:55,829 --> 00:13:57,430
Okay, fine.
381
00:13:57,464 --> 00:13:59,332
I won't, I won't spin it.
382
00:14:00,366 --> 00:14:01,668
I won't.
383
00:14:05,438 --> 00:14:06,873
Stride, stride, stride, spin!
384
00:14:08,575 --> 00:14:09,809
Oh, goddamn it!
385
00:14:09,843 --> 00:14:11,845
- Gutter ball.
- Uh-oh.
386
00:14:11,879 --> 00:14:13,346
- I'm gonna try it again.
- -I'm coming, I'm coming.
387
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:14,347
Wait, I'm coming, I'm coming.
388
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,416
Hey, Tyrone, double or nothing!
389
00:14:16,449 --> 00:14:17,383
'Cause there's no way
you're beating me
390
00:14:17,417 --> 00:14:18,618
two out of three, dude!
391
00:14:18,651 --> 00:14:20,620
Hey, Charlie? Excuse me.
392
00:14:20,653 --> 00:14:22,388
Can I, can I ask your advice
on something?
393
00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:24,657
-Yeah.
-Well, you're just such
a good natural bowler...
394
00:14:24,691 --> 00:14:25,625
-Yeah.
-...and I'm having a hard time,
so I was wondering,
395
00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:27,627
where are you putting your elbow
396
00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:29,429
-when you're rolling?
-My elbow?
397
00:14:29,462 --> 00:14:30,830
Yeah, before you throw the ball,
where is your elbow going?
398
00:14:30,864 --> 00:14:32,832
You-you want me to show you
where my elbow goes?
399
00:14:32,866 --> 00:14:34,969
-Yeah.
-Oh, I'm...
400
00:14:35,002 --> 00:14:36,904
-My-my elbow's like...
-Uh-huh.
401
00:14:36,937 --> 00:14:38,838
That looks good.
402
00:14:39,773 --> 00:14:41,307
Oh.
403
00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:42,575
Gutter ball.
404
00:14:42,609 --> 00:14:43,810
Uh...
405
00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:45,545
Holy shit. It's working.
406
00:14:50,383 --> 00:14:51,751
-There we go.
-Okay.
407
00:14:51,785 --> 00:14:53,353
Okay. It's okay.
408
00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:54,554
Damn it!
409
00:14:54,587 --> 00:14:56,756
-Just walk.
-What are you doing?
410
00:14:56,790 --> 00:14:59,425
Stride, stride, stride, spin!
Come on!
411
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:01,861
-Gutter ball.
-S-Stop it.
412
00:15:01,896 --> 00:15:03,429
Gutter ball.
413
00:15:03,463 --> 00:15:05,365
Gutter ball.
414
00:15:05,398 --> 00:15:06,466
- Gutter ball.
- Come on.
415
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:08,668
Gutter ball.
416
00:15:08,701 --> 00:15:10,603
Gutter ball.
417
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,381
You want one?
418
00:15:31,391 --> 00:15:33,093
Wh-- Hey!
419
00:15:33,127 --> 00:15:34,028
What happened?
420
00:15:34,061 --> 00:15:35,862
What the hell happened?
421
00:15:35,896 --> 00:15:38,132
In the third act of my play,
Donna rolls a gutter ball
422
00:15:38,165 --> 00:15:40,466
in the big match
against her rival high school.
423
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,502
-Are you serious?
-Oh, my God.
424
00:15:42,535 --> 00:15:43,770
Can you knock it off
with the play, please?
425
00:15:50,844 --> 00:15:53,914
Ah, well, well,
you done good, ladies.
426
00:15:53,948 --> 00:15:56,382
Your little mind games--
they got you pretty far,
427
00:15:56,416 --> 00:15:58,986
but unfortunately...
428
00:15:59,019 --> 00:16:01,721
...still 11 points shy
in the final frame.
429
00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:04,591
Now, technically,
I could pick up this spare
430
00:16:04,624 --> 00:16:06,793
and push the lead
even further, and I...
431
00:16:06,826 --> 00:16:08,896
think we all know Dee's about
to roll two gutter balls.
432
00:16:08,929 --> 00:16:10,998
So I'll tell you what.
Dee, if you would like,
433
00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:13,766
uh, you could just quit now
434
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,103
and you could all admit
that you're inferior
435
00:16:16,136 --> 00:16:18,172
in every single way,
436
00:16:18,205 --> 00:16:19,772
and we could just call it
a night.
437
00:16:19,806 --> 00:16:21,541
Okay, you know what, dick?
438
00:16:21,574 --> 00:16:24,178
I don't like your sister.
She's a terrible person.
439
00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:25,745
She's a bitch and she's ugly
440
00:16:25,778 --> 00:16:27,014
and I didn't want her
on the team.
441
00:16:27,047 --> 00:16:28,481
And she's gross.
442
00:16:28,514 --> 00:16:29,984
Sure, and she's gross.
443
00:16:30,017 --> 00:16:32,186
But you know what?
You're even worse.
444
00:16:32,219 --> 00:16:33,686
And I am not gonna sit here
445
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,455
and let you just shit on her
all night long.
446
00:16:35,488 --> 00:16:38,424
You think
you're physically superior?
447
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:41,628
-Yeah.
-Then I challenge you
to a test of strength.
448
00:16:41,661 --> 00:16:42,997
Come on.
449
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:44,564
This isn't fair.
450
00:16:44,597 --> 00:16:46,000
Oh. Is it not fair?
451
00:16:46,033 --> 00:16:48,434
Okay, well, if you're scared,
we don't have to do it.
452
00:16:48,468 --> 00:16:50,570
Okay, well, listen,
if you insist, that's fine.
453
00:16:50,603 --> 00:16:52,039
-I do. Okay.
-Let's do it. Yeah.
454
00:16:52,072 --> 00:16:53,506
Ladies first.
455
00:16:53,539 --> 00:16:55,175
-All right, let's do it.
-Oh, thank you.
456
00:16:55,209 --> 00:16:56,576
Go, Waitress, go.
457
00:16:56,609 --> 00:16:58,411
-Let's go.
-Give it all you got.
458
00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:01,614
Oh!
459
00:17:03,017 --> 00:17:05,052
Shit.
460
00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:07,054
-Didn't know you could kick it.
-Oh, yeah, you could kick it.
461
00:17:07,087 --> 00:17:09,123
-And that's fine. Okay.
-Yeah, yeah, okay. Do it.
462
00:17:09,156 --> 00:17:10,723
Show them what you got, Dennis.
Come on.
463
00:17:10,757 --> 00:17:13,593
Let's go, buddy.
464
00:17:13,626 --> 00:17:16,230
I summon the very fact
that I am a man!
465
00:17:23,270 --> 00:17:26,639
Aah! Aah...
466
00:17:26,673 --> 00:17:28,075
I have defeated you.
467
00:17:28,108 --> 00:17:29,109
And of course I have.
468
00:17:29,143 --> 00:17:31,979
I've been blessed
with the genetic gifts to do so.
469
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:38,518
I've broken
every single bone in my hand.
470
00:17:38,551 --> 00:17:40,154
I cannot bowl.
471
00:17:40,187 --> 00:17:41,854
-What?
-Really?
-L-Listen to me.
472
00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:43,057
There's nothing solid
left in there.
473
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:45,893
It's just bloody soup
and bone broth.
474
00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:47,527
All right?
Now, I need to scream.
475
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,695
And I need you to find me
somewhere to scream
476
00:17:48,728 --> 00:17:50,264
so I don't have to do it here.
477
00:17:50,297 --> 00:17:52,532
No, wait a minute.
478
00:17:52,565 --> 00:17:54,567
I'm going to scream here,
and now,
479
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:55,768
'cause I can't hold it in,
so here we go.
480
00:17:58,138 --> 00:17:59,706
♪ Oh, yes... ♪
481
00:17:59,739 --> 00:18:02,242
Ryan, I need you to bowl for me.
482
00:18:02,276 --> 00:18:03,243
I'll never bowl again.
483
00:18:03,277 --> 00:18:05,179
-Come on, man.
-Why not? What's the big deal?
484
00:18:05,212 --> 00:18:08,282
The story's
too horrible to tell.
485
00:18:08,315 --> 00:18:09,649
-Oh, with this stuff.
-For fuck's sake,
just spit it out.
486
00:18:09,682 --> 00:18:11,285
Yeah, you clearly want
to tell it, man.
487
00:18:11,318 --> 00:18:13,020
Fine.
488
00:18:13,053 --> 00:18:14,520
But brace yourself.
489
00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:16,556
There I was,
490
00:18:16,589 --> 00:18:18,192
practicing for
the state semifinals.
491
00:18:21,996 --> 00:18:23,596
I was on my way
to a perfect game.
492
00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:30,636
I was enjoying
some chili cheese fries.
493
00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:33,040
They were delicious,
and I offered some to Ryan.
494
00:18:33,073 --> 00:18:35,242
I accepted, but not realizing
495
00:18:35,275 --> 00:18:37,643
my other hand was
in the ball return lane.
496
00:18:37,677 --> 00:18:39,913
I never should have allowed
myself such indulgences,
497
00:18:39,947 --> 00:18:41,647
because little did I know,
498
00:18:41,681 --> 00:18:44,051
my ball was returning.
499
00:18:51,158 --> 00:18:53,293
It pinched it really bad.
500
00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:55,628
I had a nasty bruise for a week.
501
00:18:55,661 --> 00:18:56,930
-That's it?
-That's why you won't bowl?
502
00:18:56,964 --> 00:18:58,132
-You pinched your finger?
-You pinched your finger
503
00:18:58,165 --> 00:18:59,266
-and you won't bowl?
-Big deal, man.
504
00:18:59,299 --> 00:19:01,235
I'll bowl for you... Dennis.
505
00:19:01,268 --> 00:19:02,769
-Okay, fine.
-Okay.
-Wait, what's happening?
506
00:19:02,802 --> 00:19:04,004
What-what are you saying? What?
507
00:19:04,038 --> 00:19:05,072
- Hmm?
- Well, he...
508
00:19:05,105 --> 00:19:06,240
-Nothing.
-What?
509
00:19:06,273 --> 00:19:07,607
-N-Nothing.
-What's going on?
510
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,910
Liam's gonna bowl for me
511
00:19:09,943 --> 00:19:11,979
because I hurt my hand
a little bit.
512
00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:13,813
O-Ow!
513
00:19:13,846 --> 00:19:15,815
Ow, I just,
I just twisted my ankle.
514
00:19:15,848 --> 00:19:17,084
-No.
-Yeah, and I need Ryan,
515
00:19:17,117 --> 00:19:18,651
I need Ryan to bowl for me.
516
00:19:18,684 --> 00:19:19,819
- No way. No way.
- My ankle is hurt,
517
00:19:19,852 --> 00:19:21,255
and I need Ryan to bowl for me.
518
00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:22,688
-That...
-That is bullshit.
519
00:19:26,826 --> 00:19:29,196
This is incredibly weird.
520
00:19:49,049 --> 00:19:51,051
Ryan!
521
00:19:51,085 --> 00:19:53,220
Brother!
Brother, what have I done?
522
00:19:56,156 --> 00:19:57,857
No!
523
00:20:00,693 --> 00:20:01,661
What the...
524
00:20:08,102 --> 00:20:09,669
Well, well, well, Dee,
it looks like
525
00:20:09,702 --> 00:20:11,004
you're gonna have
to roll after all.
526
00:20:11,038 --> 00:20:13,840
Fine. No problem.
527
00:20:13,873 --> 00:20:16,076
Gonna make my team proud.
528
00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:17,677
Oh, well, maybe you will.
529
00:20:17,710 --> 00:20:19,246
Or maybe...
530
00:20:19,279 --> 00:20:20,713
you'll roll a gutter ball.
531
00:20:26,053 --> 00:20:28,821
One pin. That's all.
532
00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:30,390
You can do this.
533
00:20:30,424 --> 00:20:32,859
-Gutter ball.
-No. No.
534
00:20:32,893 --> 00:20:34,827
Just don't think "gutter ball,"
that's all.
535
00:20:37,464 --> 00:20:38,865
Oh, hi, Dee.
536
00:20:38,899 --> 00:20:41,101
I'm in here, too.
537
00:20:41,135 --> 00:20:42,635
Gutter ball.
538
00:20:44,737 --> 00:20:48,308
-Gutter ball. Gutter ball.
-Gutter ball. Gutter ball.
539
00:20:49,877 --> 00:20:51,844
You goddamned son of a--
540
00:20:51,879 --> 00:20:53,813
bitch!
541
00:21:01,388 --> 00:21:02,755
Gutter ball.
542
00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:15,402
-Oh.
-No, no...
543
00:21:17,171 --> 00:21:18,939
-No, no, no...
-No, no...
544
00:21:18,972 --> 00:21:21,008
No, no, no, no...
545
00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:29,815
I did it! In your faces.
546
00:21:29,849 --> 00:21:32,052
Ha... Uh... What's going on?
547
00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:34,754
-Where'd everybody go?
-Frank's having a threesome
548
00:21:34,787 --> 00:21:36,789
in the bathroom
with Gail and Artemis,
549
00:21:36,822 --> 00:21:39,759
and, um, yeah, I think the guys
went to the Sixers game.
550
00:21:39,792 --> 00:21:41,761
What?
551
00:21:41,794 --> 00:21:42,795
Oh, goddamn it.
552
00:21:43,997 --> 00:21:45,731
Well, why aren't you
celebrating?
553
00:21:45,765 --> 00:21:46,967
Um...
554
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,503
yeah, honestly?
555
00:21:49,536 --> 00:21:52,272
I don't give a shit
about women's sports.
556
00:21:52,306 --> 00:21:54,341
Well...