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In other news, Tinseltown
is coming to Philadelphia.
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Hollywood stars Bryan Cranston
and Aaron Paul are here
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promoting their alcohol brand,
Dos Hombres.
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Hey, Bryan, how does it feel
to be the kingpin of mezcal?
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Oh, no, no. No, no.
Don't-don't put that on me.
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No, I'm just a simple actor.
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This, this is the man,
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-the brains behind
the whole operation.
-No.
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-No, no, no.
-Yeah, it is.
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It's a team effort.
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Wow. Hollywood celebrities
right here in Philly, huh?
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-I don't love it. I mean,
-Yeah.
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why can't
they stay in their lane?
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Why do they have
into come into our lane?
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The celebrity booze thing's
a little out of control.
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It's a total sellout.
I mean, a complete cash grab.
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Any idiot could take
a bottle of booze,
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slap a celebrity's face on it
and-and make a fortune.
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-I mean, we could do it
if we wanted.
-Oh, we know more about booze
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-than these two guys, probably.
-Are you kidding me?
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Look, yeah,
is there an opportunity
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for us to create a booze
of our own, right?
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And go pitch those guys?
Yeah, of course there is.
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-It would be so easy.
-Yeah.
-It would be so easy, you know?
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And could we do
something like that?
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-Also, yes. Absolutely.
-Yes. Yes.
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-Of course, we could, you know.
-But I mean,
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are we gonna go do something
like that?
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-Yes, we're gonna do that, yeah.
-Of course we are, yes.
-I think we should.
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-I think we should.
-It's already happening.
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Okay, guys,
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I think we can all agree
we need to come up with a brand
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that is representative
of who we are as people
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and as businessmen.
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Now I ask you guys this:
what's the first word
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that comes to your mind when
you are trying to describe us?
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-Premium.
-Mm, I was gonna say that, dude.
-Premium.
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-I was gonna say premium.
-You were gonna say that, too?
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- Yeah.
- And look, hey.
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Listen, man, you're spot-on.
Premium.
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Yes, our brand will, of course,
be a premium brand.
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Now, what is the most premium
alcohol ever invented?
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-Goldschläger.
-Goldschläger. Yeah.
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Goldschläger. All right, hey!
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We're all on the same page here.
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-Yeah, we think--
-This is good, I like this.
Okay, yeah.
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Swiss cinnamon schnapps liqueur
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with drinkable flakes of gold
floating in it.
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My God, what's more premium
than that?
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-Yeah, nothing.
-Nothing, right?
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Here's a pitch. Okay,
I can get a bunch of nickels
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and I could smash them up
and put them into a 'schläger.
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Right? We call it
Nickelschläger,
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and we pitch it as, like,
the working man's spirit.
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And, you know, nickels are,
they're easy to find
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and, uh, just as shiny.
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Well, that sounds disgusting,
and, uh,
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-potentially dangerous as well.
-Yeah, I'm-a try it, though.
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Listen, I think I've pinpointed
a small market trend
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that we could corner
but that could
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also totally represent us.
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I'm talking about a blend.
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A blend?
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-Oh. Blends.
-Yes. Blends, blends.
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-Blends!
-Yes.
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Blends are very popular
these days.
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Wine blends, whiskey blends,
you know?
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So let me ask you this:
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what is the second-classiest
drink in the world?
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-Jägermeister. Yes.
-Jägermeister. Yeah, yeah.
-Jägermeister.
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-Jägermeister, yeah.
-Amazing, yes.
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It's the 'meisters and the,
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and the 'schlägers
and the schnapps.
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I mean, those are the drinks
that make people feel high-end,
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you know, like they're on
a European ski adventure, right?
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- Yeah, it's true.
- Yeah.
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Those drinks that make people
feel premium, you know?
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So I say we do a blend
of all the most premium drinks.
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We put them all together,
and we make one drink
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called Paddy's
SchlägerSchnappsterMeister.
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-That's brilliant.
-That's so smart.
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-Well, because it-it blends them
-Dude, that is really smart.
It's fun.
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-all together, like you said.
-Who's thought of that?
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-It's a lot of fun, right?
-It's elegant.
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It definitely feels like you're
in Switzerland or something.
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-Yeah, yeah.
-Great, so you guys get it,
okay. Great.
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So I-I'm so glad we're on
the same page with this.
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So, here's the thing.
All we got to do
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is get those celebrity guys'
blessing and boom--
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we are off to the races,
we're gonna be rich men, but
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I don't think
we should approach them
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without being
fully funded first.
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So our first test
is gonna be landing a big fish
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who can finance
this whole operation.
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and I know just the guy.
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♪ I want money ♪
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♪ Lots and lots. ♪
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- Yo.
- Yo, Frank,
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I got you on speakerphone
with, uh, Mac and Charlie.
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-Where are you right now?
-I'm in the sky.
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-In the sky?
-What?
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That's right, dicknips.
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We're in the sky
on a private plane
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- on the way to Aruba.
- What the hell, Frank?
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- Why you taking Dee?
- Um, because
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I'm more glamorous
than you guys.
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Frank recognizes that
and so he invited me.
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I was on my way to the jet,
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she overheard me talking
about the flight
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-and she glommed on.
-Yeah, you know what?
We don't care.
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Uh, Frank, we have a business
proposition for you, pal.
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Frank, how would you like
to invest
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in a celebrity alcohol brand?
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No, I don't know about that.
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I-I once had Greg Louganis
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as the face of my apricot brand
in the '80s.
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But when he cracked his noggin
at the Olympics,
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the business took a nosedive
with him.
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Okay, well, we're talking about
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a much bigger celebrity
than that, okay?
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We're talking about
a household name here.
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Have you ever hear
of a little show called
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Malcolm in the Middle?
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Have I?
Changed the game.
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- Changed the game, Frank.
- That it did. That it did.
-Yes. Yes.
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-It did change the game.
-That it did. One of
the greatest shows of all time.
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Well, listen, the dad
from that show is in town
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and we're gonna be
pitching him tonight.
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And Malcolm. He's here, too,
although he's all grown up now,
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-so you might not recognize him.
-Yeah.
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Dang, that sounds
pretty glamorous.
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-I'd like to hang with celebs.
-Shut up, Dee.
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- Shut up, Dee.
- -Oh, God, shut up, Dee.
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Shut your mouth
or I will shut it for you!
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When you get back,
Mac's gonna shut it for you!
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We're gonna shut your mouth and
we're gonna sew your lips shut!
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- Just shut up.
- Shut up!
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-Shut up!
-All right, well-well,
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you know, if you can get,
uh, Malcolm and his dad
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on the hook,
bring them to me at the jet.
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When I land, we'll talk shop.
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- Oh, good.
- Nice, dude.
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-Big fish landed!
-All right!
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How are they gonna
bring them to Aruba?
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We were never going to Aruba.
We're circling Philly.
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Oh, my God.
There's The Linc!
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What the hell, Frank?
Why are we circling Philly?
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I got to put enough miles
on the jet
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to make it look like
I went to Aruba and back.
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It's a tax thing.
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Then why don't we just
go to Aruba and back?
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Wouldn't that make more sense?
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I have things to do in Philly.
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But I don't want
to circle Philly for hours.
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Hey, look, first you nag me
to get on the plane,
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now you're nagging me
to get off.
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Just-- No dice.
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-We're circling Philly.
-Oh, goddamn it.
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♪ I want money,
lots and lots of money... ♪
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It is popping off in there, man.
It is popping off.
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Actually, Charlie,
I would also love for you
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-to pop off that hat.
-No, dude, you said dress nice.
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I want to be able to tip
my cap to these guys
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-when I meet them.
-Yeah, but you look like
a limo driver.
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- Whatever, dude.
I look good, man.
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You guys want to hit
some of this, too, by the way?
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-The hell is that?
-It's Nickelschläger, man.
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It's delicious.
I've been drinking it all day.
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Throw that shit out. Do not
bring that up in the pitch.
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-I'm gonna pitch it.
-Dude, do not-- Don't--
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Oh, goddamn it.
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Oh.
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-Over here, sir.
-Okay, you know what?
That might have been this.
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Uh, here, I'll give it to you,
I guess. Uh, don't mind me.
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-Anything in your pockets, sir?
-No, no, I'm good.
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I'm good, I sh--
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Uh...
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Guys, why is it going off
on my stomach?
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Because you have
a belly full of nickels.
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Oh, right. Shit.
Okay, you know what? Um...
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I'll make myself throw up
and then I'll get--
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Should I throw up here or, uh...
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All right, I'm gonna go outside
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and-and I'll meet you guys
back in.
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Great.
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Good riddance.
He looks ridiculous anyway.
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Yeah, well, you don't look
that much better, pal.
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I mean, what-what,
what is going on with that suit?
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Oh, I'm going for
a "Jordan in the '90s" look.
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I mean, who's more premium
than MJ, right?
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Now, I'm thinking
that I go pitch a fashion line
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and sort of expand
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-into a lifestyle brand.
-No, don't do that.
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00:07:01,148 --> 00:07:03,383
Okay? Let's just-- Uh, can we
stick with the one thing?
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00:07:03,417 --> 00:07:05,552
-Just stick with
the one thing, please.
-They're celebrities.
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00:07:05,585 --> 00:07:07,554
-They're gonna get the look.
-I know they're celebrities.
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I'm not saying they're not
celebrities. I'm saying--
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00:07:08,955 --> 00:07:10,023
Do you know
who Michael Jordan is?
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00:07:10,057 --> 00:07:11,857
-Yes, I know who--
-Then why are you
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00:07:11,892 --> 00:07:12,825
-fighting me about this?
-Can we just go get in
the meet-and-greet line?
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00:07:12,858 --> 00:07:15,095
It's already getting
long as shit. Come on.
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00:07:18,532 --> 00:07:19,533
Frank.
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00:07:19,566 --> 00:07:20,901
-Frank!
-What?
204
00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:22,302
How much longer?
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00:07:22,336 --> 00:07:25,138
-Three hours.
-Oh, my God.
206
00:07:25,172 --> 00:07:26,506
Can I watch
what you're watching?
207
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:27,873
'Cause the Wi-Fi
is not strong enough
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00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:29,176
for me to watch anything.
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00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:30,977
You should have
downloaded movies, then.
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00:07:31,011 --> 00:07:33,447
I mean, I also have to go
to the bathroom.
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00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,316
Well, that's not good.
Bathroom on the plane is busted.
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00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:39,186
-W-What?
-Yeah, but you can use
the emergency can.
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00:07:39,219 --> 00:07:40,454
Where's the emergency can?
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00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:42,022
-You're sitting on it.
-What? Wh--
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00:07:42,055 --> 00:07:44,091
You just pull that cushion up
and, uh, get that
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00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:45,892
privacy screen over there.
217
00:07:45,926 --> 00:07:47,427
Is it a number one
or a number two?
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00:07:47,461 --> 00:07:49,329
It's a number one.
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00:07:49,363 --> 00:07:50,664
Eh, let 'er rip.
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00:07:50,697 --> 00:07:52,666
It's still gonna go out
in the air anyway.
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00:07:52,699 --> 00:07:54,634
Are you sure you don't have
any food anywhere?
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00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:56,470
Why don't you sniff around
back there?
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00:07:56,503 --> 00:07:57,904
What's this?
224
00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,239
-What's that?
-There's a can of something.
225
00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:01,375
Oh, that's an old can of oysters
from another flight.
226
00:08:01,408 --> 00:08:03,577
-A can of oysters?
-Yeah, go ahead, have them.
227
00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:05,245
Ugh, goddamn it.
228
00:08:06,179 --> 00:08:07,948
All right, all right.
229
00:08:07,981 --> 00:08:09,015
-Getting pretty close here.
-Okay, now,
230
00:08:09,049 --> 00:08:10,083
just go with me here, Dennis.
231
00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:11,618
I want you to picture it,
all right?
232
00:08:11,651 --> 00:08:14,187
It's a whole
lifestyle ecosystem.
233
00:08:14,221 --> 00:08:15,555
-No--
-With booze and suits
234
00:08:15,589 --> 00:08:18,058
and apps that link you
to personal trainers
235
00:08:18,091 --> 00:08:19,593
who make you look good
in the suits. Premium.
236
00:08:19,626 --> 00:08:21,461
-Dude, this is what I'm saying.
-No, listen, can we please,
237
00:08:21,495 --> 00:08:24,064
please, please just
stick with the blend?
238
00:08:24,097 --> 00:08:26,166
-Stick with the blend.
-This is a blend of ideas.
239
00:08:26,199 --> 00:08:27,434
Yes, but it's a blend of
too many ideas. I don't even
240
00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,403
know what you're talking about
half the time.
241
00:08:29,436 --> 00:08:31,538
-I'm talking about
branding, bro, it's branding.
-I know what you're--
242
00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:32,539
You know what, actually,
you just keep
243
00:08:32,572 --> 00:08:33,507
your mouth shut the whole time.
244
00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:35,575
Just keep your
mouth shut, I'll do the talking.
245
00:08:35,609 --> 00:08:37,611
We do the firm handshake, right?
'Cause that's essential
246
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:38,712
to setting tone
for a good pitch.
247
00:08:38,745 --> 00:08:41,148
Got to have a firm handshake.
And then that's it.
248
00:08:41,181 --> 00:08:43,250
I do the talking,
and don't say a goddamn thing
249
00:08:43,283 --> 00:08:44,985
about booze and suits and apps.
250
00:08:45,018 --> 00:08:46,686
-Here we go.
-Oh, okay.
251
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,388
-Thank you.
-Thanks, ladies.
-Thank you so much.
252
00:08:48,422 --> 00:08:50,424
- Uh, all right. Come on, guys.
- All right.
253
00:08:50,457 --> 00:08:51,658
-Okay, here we go.
-Hey, there, fellas.
-Hey.
254
00:08:51,691 --> 00:08:53,493
Hi, uh, hello to you, kind sirs.
255
00:08:53,527 --> 00:08:55,495
Let's do a...
256
00:08:55,529 --> 00:08:57,964
-Oh, uh...
-No.
257
00:08:57,998 --> 00:09:01,067
No, I'm sorry,
we-we don't shake hands. So...
258
00:09:01,101 --> 00:09:03,103
Uh, well, that kind of
throws off my whole thing.
259
00:09:03,136 --> 00:09:04,704
I think-- We can't kick this off
without a firm handshake.
260
00:09:04,738 --> 00:09:06,973
-Why don't you just--
-I really don't mind
shaking his hand.
261
00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:08,475
How many times do we have
to go through this?
262
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:10,644
-We're not shaking hands.
-We're not shaking hands.
263
00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:11,645
-We don't know these people.
-Don't know you.
264
00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:13,280
-Sorry.
-Oh.
265
00:09:13,313 --> 00:09:14,448
Wow, look at that suit.
266
00:09:14,481 --> 00:09:16,049
-Yeah. Look at that.
-I love that.
267
00:09:16,082 --> 00:09:18,151
I'm not supposed to talk.
268
00:09:18,185 --> 00:09:19,653
- I didn't say--
I didn't say--
- I'm not supposed to, either.
269
00:09:19,686 --> 00:09:21,421
Oh-- Come on,
let's get this going.
270
00:09:21,455 --> 00:09:22,689
-He's-he's kidding.
He's kidding.
-Uh, yeah, so-so...
271
00:09:22,722 --> 00:09:24,291
-He's kidding.
-Oh, yes. He, uh, just...
272
00:09:24,324 --> 00:09:26,693
-Yeah, but--
-Come on, everybody say,
"Dos Hombres."
273
00:09:26,726 --> 00:09:28,562
- Oh, uh...
- Dos Hombres!
274
00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:30,163
-All right, you can get
-Thanks so much.
-Yeah, so, we have a--
275
00:09:30,197 --> 00:09:31,364
the photos with the QR code
that way.
276
00:09:31,398 --> 00:09:32,532
-There you go.
-No, I don't need a photo.
277
00:09:32,566 --> 00:09:34,067
Actually, I-I just
wanted to pitch you--
278
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:37,170
-I--
-All right, hey. All right.
279
00:09:37,204 --> 00:09:38,438
What just happened?
280
00:09:38,472 --> 00:09:39,706
You blew it, dude.
You choked.
281
00:09:39,739 --> 00:09:42,142
I didn't choke, no.
It was... Malcolm.
282
00:09:42,175 --> 00:09:43,677
He was throwing me a weird vibe.
283
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,545
-Yeah. He's very aggressive.
-He's super aggressive.
284
00:09:45,579 --> 00:09:47,481
He's, like, he's, like
the alpha dog, dude.
285
00:09:47,514 --> 00:09:48,715
-I didn't like that.
-Malcolm's not in the middle.
286
00:09:48,748 --> 00:09:50,484
-He's on top.
-He's on top.
287
00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:52,486
-Shit.
-You know what, let's-let's
get back in the line.
288
00:09:59,626 --> 00:10:01,795
Oh. Hey.
289
00:10:01,828 --> 00:10:03,129
Hey.
290
00:10:03,163 --> 00:10:05,265
Hey, buddy.
291
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,068
Hey, can I ask you something
really quick?
292
00:10:08,101 --> 00:10:10,036
-Yeah, sure, man. What's up?
-Uh, hey, listen,
293
00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:11,404
I've been throwing up
for a little bit.
294
00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:12,572
Ugh, dude, sorry.
295
00:10:12,606 --> 00:10:14,140
Yeah, I-I actually
kind of can't stop.
296
00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:16,109
I think I'm having
a reaction to the metals.
297
00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:17,511
But, uh, my real problem
is, like,
298
00:10:17,544 --> 00:10:19,513
no matter how much I hurl,
like, the nickels
299
00:10:19,546 --> 00:10:21,748
-keep coming out.
-Nickels?
300
00:10:21,781 --> 00:10:23,750
Oh, yeah, it's a 'schläger play
I got going.
301
00:10:23,783 --> 00:10:25,385
So, hey, look,
can you do me a favor?
302
00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:26,586
On my next hurl,
you know, do you--
303
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,289
could you see if you see any
loose change in there, you know?
304
00:10:29,322 --> 00:10:32,158
'Cause, like, I-I really got to
get a extra set of eyes on this.
305
00:10:32,192 --> 00:10:34,060
-I can't help you. All right?
I-I'm waiting for somebody.
-Please, please.
306
00:10:34,094 --> 00:10:35,128
-Sir, I'm begging you, please.
-It's not happening.
307
00:10:35,161 --> 00:10:37,631
Listen, man,
I can't help, all right?
308
00:10:37,664 --> 00:10:38,832
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
309
00:10:38,865 --> 00:10:40,200
What the hell?!
310
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:41,768
-Damn it!
-Oh! Hey.
311
00:10:41,801 --> 00:10:43,203
-Hey, man, hey, hey.
-Come here.
312
00:10:43,236 --> 00:10:44,471
Come here. Look at this.
Look at this.
313
00:10:44,504 --> 00:10:45,705
-Okay. Yes, sir.
-Look at this.
314
00:10:45,739 --> 00:10:46,806
They're gonna ding me
for the cleaning fee.
315
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,208
-All right?
-Ah, yeah, look at that.
316
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:49,376
Peace and love, peace and love.
317
00:10:49,409 --> 00:10:50,710
-Damn it!
-I'm sorry! Hey, hey.
318
00:10:50,744 --> 00:10:52,245
-Just say by my car.
Stay by my car
-Hey, hey.
319
00:10:52,279 --> 00:10:53,346
-Hey, hey!
-and watch this,
I got to figure this out.
320
00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:54,681
-Get by the car.
-Okay, okay, okay.
321
00:10:54,714 --> 00:10:56,316
I got your car.
I'll watch your car.
322
00:10:56,349 --> 00:10:57,584
Yeah.
323
00:10:57,617 --> 00:10:59,619
He was a big boy.
324
00:10:59,653 --> 00:11:01,421
- Jesus.
- Damn it.
325
00:11:02,890 --> 00:11:04,724
Hey, man, are you
the Dos Hombres driver?
326
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:06,726
Who?
327
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,029
You know,
the Malcolm in the Middle guys.
328
00:11:09,596 --> 00:11:10,730
Yes, I am.
329
00:11:10,764 --> 00:11:12,232
Come on, come on.
330
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:14,534
The dad did like my suit.
331
00:11:14,568 --> 00:11:17,337
Would you shut up
about the dad and the suit?
332
00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:18,738
- Thank you very much.
- What are they doing?
333
00:11:18,772 --> 00:11:20,173
- Oh, great. Okay.
- Damn it.
334
00:11:20,206 --> 00:11:21,374
They're wrapping things up.
335
00:11:21,408 --> 00:11:23,143
That's great. We blew it.
336
00:11:23,176 --> 00:11:25,545
We totally blew our one shot.
Goddamn it.
337
00:11:25,579 --> 00:11:27,681
Hey, I think
I just saw Jalen Hurts.
338
00:11:27,714 --> 00:11:29,282
-What? Seriously? Where?
-Yeah.
339
00:11:29,316 --> 00:11:30,550
Dude, he just went
into the bathroom.
340
00:11:30,584 --> 00:11:31,618
I'm sure that was him.
341
00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,687
Okay, uh, listen.
We're gonna pivot, all right?
342
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,488
I mean, Jalen's a better fit for
our Philly-based brand anyway,
343
00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:37,557
-don't you think?
-Yeah.
344
00:11:37,591 --> 00:11:38,825
-Let's go talk to Jalen.
-Let's get Jalen.
345
00:11:38,858 --> 00:11:40,493
Come on, let's go.
346
00:11:40,527 --> 00:11:42,662
- Jalen.
- Yeah,
347
00:11:42,696 --> 00:11:44,397
so, hey, listen, uh,
I know this is a little weird,
348
00:11:44,431 --> 00:11:46,600
us bum-rushing you in the
bathroom like this, but, uh...
349
00:11:46,633 --> 00:11:48,602
You always were good
against the rush.
350
00:11:48,635 --> 00:11:50,270
Now, that is true.
You are good against the ru--
351
00:11:50,303 --> 00:11:52,439
Now, you're not gonna get away
from us, though.
352
00:11:52,472 --> 00:11:54,207
We gotcha.
353
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,542
That was a joke. Um...
354
00:11:57,377 --> 00:11:59,846
Okay, uh, well, listen, uh,
we-we just, uh,
355
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,181
we wanted to pitch you
356
00:12:01,214 --> 00:12:03,583
a-a really great
business opportunity.
357
00:12:03,617 --> 00:12:05,318
Yes, now imagine this lifestyle:
358
00:12:05,352 --> 00:12:07,454
you're on a Caribbean island
in an ill-fitting suit.
359
00:12:07,487 --> 00:12:10,290
No, no, st-- no, uh, Jalen,
we're not-not here to...
360
00:12:10,323 --> 00:12:11,491
pitch you a lifestyle.
361
00:12:14,427 --> 00:12:16,730
-Gritty?
-Wait...
362
00:12:16,763 --> 00:12:18,331
-What the hell is this?
-Wh-- I...
363
00:12:18,365 --> 00:12:19,666
I thought you said Jalen Hurts
came in here.
364
00:12:19,699 --> 00:12:21,167
Is he in one
of the other stalls?
365
00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:23,370
I don't know, I must have
gotten them confused.
366
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:24,571
How do you confuse
a young Black man
367
00:12:24,604 --> 00:12:26,172
with a giant orange monster?
368
00:12:26,206 --> 00:12:27,540
Uh...
369
00:12:27,574 --> 00:12:30,377
Okay, Gritty, picture yourself
on a Caribbean island.
370
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,746
- Don't pitch Gritty! We're here
to talk to a celebrity.
371
00:12:32,779 --> 00:12:35,448
Gritty's just Gritty.
372
00:12:35,482 --> 00:12:38,518
What-- Oh, hey, Jalen! Jalen!
There he is. Jalen!
373
00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:40,654
-Ah, we just missed him.
-What are you talking about?
374
00:12:40,687 --> 00:12:42,722
-That was not Jalen Hurts.
-Yes, it was.
375
00:12:42,756 --> 00:12:44,357
Oh, don't take his side, Gritty.
376
00:12:44,391 --> 00:12:46,793
-Well, he's right.
-That was definitely
Jalen Hurts.
377
00:12:46,826 --> 00:12:48,261
Uh, you know what, Gritty,
we don't need you anymore.
378
00:12:48,294 --> 00:12:49,696
Why don't you take a hike, pal?
379
00:12:49,729 --> 00:12:51,364
Appreciate it.
380
00:12:51,398 --> 00:12:52,900
Goddamn it.
381
00:12:52,933 --> 00:12:54,334
Hold on a second.
Oh, it's Charlie.
382
00:12:54,367 --> 00:12:55,802
What-- Wait, wait, wait.
383
00:12:55,835 --> 00:12:57,437
- What do you want, man?
- Hey, uh,
384
00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:59,706
Dennis, uh, get to Frank
as fast as you can.
385
00:12:59,739 --> 00:13:01,741
I have Malcolm and his dad.
386
00:13:01,775 --> 00:13:03,510
-Are you serious?
-I'll explain later.
387
00:13:03,543 --> 00:13:04,945
Just-- I'll delay them
as long as I can.
388
00:13:04,979 --> 00:13:06,312
Hey, could you maybe just
389
00:13:06,346 --> 00:13:07,480
not be on the-the phone?
390
00:13:07,514 --> 00:13:08,581
-Yeah? Okay.
-Oh, yeah.
391
00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:09,783
Of course, sir.
Yeah, I got to go.
392
00:13:09,816 --> 00:13:11,651
-Please? Thank you.
-Uh, sorry about that.
393
00:13:11,685 --> 00:13:12,819
-Very unprofessional.
-Thank you very much.
394
00:13:12,852 --> 00:13:14,487
-Uh, apologies.
-Yeah, that's okay.
395
00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:17,257
Does it smell funky in here?
396
00:13:17,290 --> 00:13:18,558
Very funky.
397
00:13:18,591 --> 00:13:20,928
-Oh, you guys
picking up an aroma?
-Yeah.
398
00:13:20,961 --> 00:13:22,462
-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, all right.
399
00:13:22,495 --> 00:13:23,898
You-- There might be a funk
to it, Mr. Malcolm.
400
00:13:23,931 --> 00:13:25,933
I did vomit in here earlier.
401
00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:28,802
Oh, oh, great.
Thank you for that.
402
00:13:28,835 --> 00:13:32,372
Wow. And my name is not
Mr. Malcolm, it's Aaron.
403
00:13:32,405 --> 00:13:34,240
Okay, I got you. Yeah, yeah.
404
00:13:34,274 --> 00:13:35,375
We can go by whatever code name
405
00:13:35,408 --> 00:13:36,843
you feel most
comfortable with, sir.
406
00:13:36,877 --> 00:13:38,578
You know, I can't imagine
the pressures of being
407
00:13:38,611 --> 00:13:40,413
-a Hollywood celebrity.
-Oh, oh, please, please, please!
408
00:13:40,447 --> 00:13:41,581
- Watch the road, watch the road.
- Oh, yeah! Shit!
409
00:13:41,614 --> 00:13:44,018
-Jesus.
-Pardon my language.
410
00:13:44,051 --> 00:13:45,986
Yeah, sorry about that.
Uh, pardon my driving.
411
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:48,254
I haven't driven a car
in a long, long time.
412
00:13:48,288 --> 00:13:50,690
I-- We really got to start
vetting these drivers.
413
00:13:50,724 --> 00:13:52,893
Okay? If we're driving around
in these crappy town cars
414
00:13:52,927 --> 00:13:54,794
with lunatics
and now we're flying coach?
415
00:13:54,828 --> 00:13:55,963
-Counterpoint.
-Coach?
416
00:13:55,996 --> 00:13:57,965
I do like the grit.
417
00:13:57,998 --> 00:13:59,599
- Oh, my God.
- Don't you?
418
00:13:59,632 --> 00:14:01,501
I mean, it's associating
with the common man.
419
00:14:01,534 --> 00:14:02,836
-Talking about me?
-Yes.
420
00:14:02,869 --> 00:14:04,471
-Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.
421
00:14:04,504 --> 00:14:06,339
-Absolutely.
-When I first stepped
onto the boards
422
00:14:06,372 --> 00:14:08,008
in the Great White Way
of Broadway...
423
00:14:08,042 --> 00:14:11,544
-Oh, and here we go again
about Broadway.
-Was I in the role
424
00:14:11,578 --> 00:14:13,279
-of Richard III? No.
-Were you? No?
425
00:14:13,313 --> 00:14:14,614
-Slipping it in, of course.
-No.
426
00:14:14,647 --> 00:14:15,983
-I was his understudy.
-Okay.
427
00:14:16,016 --> 00:14:17,985
- I never really got
to be on stage.
428
00:14:18,018 --> 00:14:19,586
-Okay.
-But I was very close.
429
00:14:19,619 --> 00:14:20,988
You had to earn it, huh?
430
00:14:21,021 --> 00:14:23,823
-You had to earn it.
-It's all about the work,
isn't it?
431
00:14:23,857 --> 00:14:24,959
-See? He's working,
we're working.
-Yeah, right?
432
00:14:24,992 --> 00:14:26,426
Yeah, we're-- We are working.
433
00:14:26,459 --> 00:14:28,996
Now, you can never forget
where you came from.
434
00:14:29,029 --> 00:14:31,364
-Remember how you got here?
Remember, huh?
-Yes.
435
00:14:31,397 --> 00:14:34,434
This clown lost all of his money
playing slots
436
00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:36,904
-at Pechanga. Yeah.
-It-- I-I--
437
00:14:36,937 --> 00:14:39,006
No, you have a problem.
You know you have a problem.
438
00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:41,075
The first step:
admitting you have a problem.
439
00:14:41,108 --> 00:14:44,477
I admit I am a servant
to the gods of chance.
440
00:14:44,511 --> 00:14:45,712
I pray at their altar.
441
00:14:45,745 --> 00:14:47,014
-Yeah, way too much.
-Come on, baby.
442
00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:48,348
-Way too much.
-Yeah, come on, baby!
443
00:14:48,381 --> 00:14:50,383
Let 'er roll!
444
00:14:50,416 --> 00:14:52,052
-Let 'er rip!
-No, this guy was a week away
445
00:14:52,086 --> 00:14:54,420
from sucking off tourists, okay?
446
00:14:54,454 --> 00:14:57,057
-Oh, my God.
-To pay his rent,
and you know that.
447
00:14:57,091 --> 00:14:58,858
Fellas, you're not gonna
have to suck anyone off.
448
00:14:58,893 --> 00:15:01,327
I'm taking you guys straight
to a private plane today.
449
00:15:01,361 --> 00:15:02,862
-Hmm?
-Oh, great. Finally. See? See?
450
00:15:02,897 --> 00:15:04,899
There you go. Aren't you happy?
451
00:15:04,932 --> 00:15:06,332
-Doesn't that feel nice?
-I'm very happy. Yes.
452
00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:07,767
Finally. Okay.
453
00:15:07,801 --> 00:15:09,904
Sorry, I happen to be getting
another-another call here.
454
00:15:09,937 --> 00:15:11,771
- I got to take it.
Hello, this is the driver.
- Oh, my...
455
00:15:11,805 --> 00:15:14,607
Hey, Charlie!
You said to call when we landed.
456
00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,609
What? We landed?
457
00:15:16,643 --> 00:15:19,546
We landed 20 minutes ago.
I'm just gassing up.
458
00:15:19,579 --> 00:15:21,514
Oh, goddamn it,
why didn't you tell me that?
459
00:15:21,548 --> 00:15:23,616
I wouldn't have eaten
the disgusting oysters.
460
00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:24,919
-Ugh.
-You ate those oysters?
461
00:15:24,952 --> 00:15:26,486
What? You told me to.
462
00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:28,688
That can is from
a shellfish company I started
463
00:15:28,721 --> 00:15:30,090
with Tony Danza
back in the '80s.
464
00:15:30,124 --> 00:15:32,492
Tony's Oysters in a Can-za?
465
00:15:32,525 --> 00:15:34,427
-It was a catchy name.
Didn't go anywhere.
-Goddamn you.
466
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,030
Gross. I am out of here.
467
00:15:36,063 --> 00:15:37,430
Frank?
468
00:15:37,463 --> 00:15:38,665
-Charlie.
-Uh, this is Mr. Frank.
469
00:15:38,698 --> 00:15:39,833
He's the owner of the plane.
470
00:15:39,866 --> 00:15:41,668
-Oh, perfect.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
471
00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:43,837
Uh, yes, Mr. Frank?
I have the father and son.
472
00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:46,907
You got them, Charlie?
Bring them over right away.
473
00:15:46,941 --> 00:15:48,575
All right. Ha, ha!
474
00:15:48,608 --> 00:15:51,078
Charlie got Malcolm and his dad.
475
00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:52,712
Oh, shit. Are you serious?
476
00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,681
-Oh, I'm staying.
-What are you talking about?
477
00:15:54,714 --> 00:15:56,749
You've been complaining about
getting off the plane.
478
00:15:56,783 --> 00:15:58,451
Now all of a sudden
you're staying?
479
00:15:58,484 --> 00:16:00,087
All right. Hey, guys. Come on.
480
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,421
Let's go. Out of the cabin.
481
00:16:01,454 --> 00:16:02,957
What-what--
I'm not leaving my plane.
482
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,691
Oh, no, we've had
this whole situation
483
00:16:04,724 --> 00:16:06,593
where Jalen Hurts felt trapped
and he just freaked out
484
00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:08,595
-and ran away.
-It was not Jalen Hurts, okay?
485
00:16:08,628 --> 00:16:09,997
-It was literally
just some Black guy.
-I-- It was definitely
486
00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:11,464
-Jalen Hurts. Either way,
-It was not Jalen Hurts.
487
00:16:11,497 --> 00:16:12,765
-let's just go. Let's go.
-Let's go. Come on.
488
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:14,500
-Up, up, up.
-Ugh, all right, all right.
489
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:20,840
Now, this is how to travel.
490
00:16:20,874 --> 00:16:22,475
Yeah.
491
00:16:22,508 --> 00:16:25,045
Yeah, but I always wonder
at whose expense.
492
00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:27,047
You know,
when I was making my way
493
00:16:27,081 --> 00:16:28,883
on the Great White Way
of Broadway...
494
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:30,750
-Oh, my God. Jesus-- Hey.
-It was hard.
495
00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:31,851
You know, I-I have an idea.
496
00:16:31,886 --> 00:16:34,188
Why don't you just shut
your eyes and go to sleep?
497
00:16:34,221 --> 00:16:37,523
And then I will let you know
when you can wake up.
498
00:16:37,557 --> 00:16:39,525
-Okay? Shh.
-Okay. Thank you.
499
00:16:39,559 --> 00:16:41,195
Okay.
500
00:16:41,228 --> 00:16:43,063
-Oh, but sleep's for pussies.
-Geez.
501
00:16:43,097 --> 00:16:45,531
Let's party, am I right?
Hey, guys, I'm Dee.
502
00:16:45,565 --> 00:16:47,500
Jesus, where'd you come from?
503
00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:49,435
I didn't know we were
sharing the plane.
504
00:16:49,469 --> 00:16:51,504
- Yeah, I--
- Ah!
505
00:16:51,537 --> 00:16:53,140
Hi, I'm Frank, the owner.
506
00:16:53,173 --> 00:16:55,042
And you don't
have to share the plane.
507
00:16:55,075 --> 00:16:58,645
This plane, this
pretty little bird can be yours
508
00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:01,481
for a mere price of $35 mil.
509
00:17:01,514 --> 00:17:02,715
Sorry, actually, um...
510
00:17:02,749 --> 00:17:03,984
-It's a beautiful bird.
-Hey, guys, don't worry.
511
00:17:04,018 --> 00:17:05,752
We're not-not here to sell you
a plane. Frank, please, don't.
512
00:17:05,785 --> 00:17:07,553
Yeah, we want to--
We-we'd sell the plane
513
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,189
-We would, but that's
not the point.
-if you would go for it,
514
00:17:09,223 --> 00:17:10,657
-you'd buy it.
-Just-- We're not selling
the plane.
515
00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:12,525
-Okay, we're here
to sell you, um--
-A lifestyle
516
00:17:12,558 --> 00:17:13,994
-No, no.
-and ill-fitting suits.
517
00:17:14,028 --> 00:17:15,795
- No, no, no, uh,
that-that's also wrong.
518
00:17:15,828 --> 00:17:17,231
-We're not selling
any of that, okay?
-Okay.
519
00:17:17,264 --> 00:17:18,899
No, no, no. Let's-let's... No.
520
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:20,067
We're here to sell you a, uh--
521
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:21,668
Nickelschläger!
522
00:17:21,701 --> 00:17:22,970
No, goddamn it! None of that.
523
00:17:23,003 --> 00:17:24,238
None of that. Okay,
listen-listen to me. Listen.
524
00:17:24,271 --> 00:17:25,705
-Look, we're just-- Listen.
-He's the driver.
525
00:17:25,738 --> 00:17:27,540
Let's just start over, okay?
526
00:17:27,573 --> 00:17:29,243
We're gonna start all over,
and we're gonna do it
527
00:17:29,276 --> 00:17:31,111
with a firm handshake.
528
00:17:32,112 --> 00:17:34,048
Oh. I'm not supposed to.
529
00:17:34,081 --> 00:17:35,581
- Oh, come on, man.
- I think you're in
530
00:17:35,615 --> 00:17:36,951
an abusive relationship.
531
00:17:36,984 --> 00:17:39,852
Okay! This is absolutely insane.
532
00:17:39,887 --> 00:17:41,554
Put your hand down, Bryan.
533
00:17:41,587 --> 00:17:43,690
But I don't mind shaking
his hand, really, I don't--
534
00:17:43,723 --> 00:17:45,092
No, put it down,
you silly little bitch.
535
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:46,260
Put it down.
536
00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:48,661
-Put it down.
-No.
537
00:17:48,695 --> 00:17:50,030
Don't you touch him.
538
00:17:50,064 --> 00:17:52,166
I said no.
539
00:17:52,199 --> 00:17:54,767
What? Oh, my God.
540
00:17:54,801 --> 00:17:56,536
What is happening?
541
00:17:57,737 --> 00:17:59,039
Sit down.
542
00:17:59,073 --> 00:18:00,975
Please, just sit down.
543
00:18:02,042 --> 00:18:03,743
-You want us to sit down?
-Sit down, please,
544
00:18:03,776 --> 00:18:05,778
-all of you.
-We-we will sit down.
545
00:18:05,812 --> 00:18:07,081
Yeah, why don't we all sit down?
546
00:18:07,114 --> 00:18:10,284
I don't ask for a lot.
547
00:18:10,317 --> 00:18:12,886
An Emmy here, a Tony there.
548
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,855
Little pocket change for
the one-armed succubus in Reno.
549
00:18:15,889 --> 00:18:17,057
But you.
550
00:18:18,624 --> 00:18:21,095
You, you're--
It's never enough for you.
551
00:18:21,128 --> 00:18:22,896
You want it all.
552
00:18:22,930 --> 00:18:24,965
And you deceived me
into thinking
553
00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:27,600
that-that I wanted it all, too,
and I don't.
554
00:18:27,633 --> 00:18:30,737
And you took charge
of our little operation,
555
00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:32,672
and ever since then,
556
00:18:32,705 --> 00:18:36,609
you've been... you've been
controlling my life.
557
00:18:39,013 --> 00:18:41,647
You control everything.
558
00:18:44,084 --> 00:18:45,252
Or do you?
559
00:18:48,055 --> 00:18:50,090
Maybe...
560
00:18:50,124 --> 00:18:52,759
you are the one being deceived.
561
00:18:52,792 --> 00:18:56,130
Maybe being the front man
562
00:18:56,163 --> 00:18:58,765
of an alcohol business
563
00:18:58,798 --> 00:19:02,069
places your head
so far out in front of you
564
00:19:02,102 --> 00:19:04,905
that you don't even realize
565
00:19:04,938 --> 00:19:07,573
that your neck is exposed.
566
00:19:07,607 --> 00:19:10,643
Enough to be lopped off
567
00:19:10,676 --> 00:19:12,212
by a public
568
00:19:12,246 --> 00:19:14,647
so thirsty to taste the blood
569
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,017
of greedy celebrities.
570
00:19:19,019 --> 00:19:21,188
So, when they come--
571
00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:23,689
and they will--
572
00:19:23,723 --> 00:19:26,026
who are they gonna
come after, huh?
573
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:28,929
The sweet, hapless boob...
574
00:19:30,164 --> 00:19:33,033
...or the slick-talking,
scheming millennial?
575
00:19:36,403 --> 00:19:39,173
So, I ask you...
576
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,042
...bitch...
577
00:19:44,677 --> 00:19:46,980
...who is really in charge here?
578
00:19:51,885 --> 00:19:53,619
Boom.
579
00:19:53,653 --> 00:19:56,390
And that, my friends,
580
00:19:56,423 --> 00:19:57,991
is acting.
581
00:19:58,025 --> 00:19:59,960
What? Wow!
582
00:19:59,993 --> 00:20:02,262
-What?!
-Wait, wait.
583
00:20:02,296 --> 00:20:03,997
-That was--
-That-that was all fake?
584
00:20:04,031 --> 00:20:05,832
Made it all up.
Fake, fake, fake, fake.
585
00:20:05,865 --> 00:20:07,167
No offense, anything I said.
586
00:20:07,201 --> 00:20:08,335
-Oh, no, you're welcome...
-I was just joking.
587
00:20:08,368 --> 00:20:09,802
But I do love to perform.
588
00:20:09,836 --> 00:20:11,871
-I do, it's in my blood.
-You got the stuff.
589
00:20:11,905 --> 00:20:14,208
Uh, you should consider
doing a drama, Mr. Middle.
590
00:20:14,241 --> 00:20:15,708
-You really should
consider doing drama.
-Yeah.
591
00:20:15,741 --> 00:20:17,010
-That's a good idea.
-I think you got the goods, man.
592
00:20:17,044 --> 00:20:18,378
Hey, so listen,
do you guys want to invest?
593
00:20:19,413 --> 00:20:21,248
-Boss?
-Fuck no.
594
00:20:21,281 --> 00:20:23,984
-Fuck no! No.
-Fuck no!
595
00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:25,185
Of course not.
I don't want to spend
596
00:20:25,219 --> 00:20:26,186
another moment with you crazies.
597
00:20:26,220 --> 00:20:28,021
-Not another minute.
-You people are insane.
598
00:20:28,055 --> 00:20:29,890
Get me off this plane.