1 00:00:04,159 --> 00:00:05,912 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 2 00:00:05,937 --> 00:00:07,344 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 3 00:00:07,369 --> 00:00:09,238 "Congratulations, Paddy's Pub. 4 00:00:09,263 --> 00:00:11,023 "We are pleased to report that we are interested in featuring 5 00:00:11,048 --> 00:00:14,088 "your bar on an upcoming episode of our show. 6 00:00:14,113 --> 00:00:16,435 "We will be sending a producer to do a walk-through soon. 7 00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:18,698 "Warmly, your friends at... 8 00:00:18,879 --> 00:00:19,947 Bar Rescue!" 9 00:00:19,981 --> 00:00:21,583 Yes! 10 00:00:21,617 --> 00:00:23,755 This is like our dreams come true, right? 11 00:00:23,789 --> 00:00:25,759 What? To be on a reality TV show? 12 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,395 Yeah. Wh... How did this happen? 13 00:00:27,429 --> 00:00:29,107 I've been writing them a letter every week 14 00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:30,669 since the show first started. 15 00:00:30,703 --> 00:00:32,305 - Well, how long's it been? - Too long. 16 00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:33,642 I very much do want to be famous, 17 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,179 but I don't know if I want to be on a reality show 18 00:00:35,204 --> 00:00:36,650 where they try and make us look like jerks. 19 00:00:36,675 --> 00:00:38,091 - Right. - Right. Oh, right, yeah. 20 00:00:38,116 --> 00:00:39,524 'Cause, like, what if they, like, edit it 21 00:00:39,549 --> 00:00:41,140 to, like, make me look stupid or something? 22 00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:43,143 Yeah. This is a definite pass for me. I'm out. 23 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,371 This could be huge for us. 24 00:00:44,396 --> 00:00:45,829 What are you guys talking about? 25 00:00:45,854 --> 00:00:47,544 I'm a little disappointed that you didn't tell me earlier 26 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:48,757 because I would have been working out 27 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:49,985 for weeks in preparation. 28 00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:51,477 I mean, for God's sakes, man. 29 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:52,980 What if, what if my shirt falls off? 30 00:00:53,013 --> 00:00:54,951 Yeah, yeah. I'm a little off my regimen, too. 31 00:00:54,984 --> 00:00:56,855 Like, I haven't even been doing any of my... 32 00:00:56,888 --> 00:00:58,424 - workouts. - Ever. He never has. Yeah. 33 00:00:58,457 --> 00:01:00,294 You guys are missing the bigger picture here. 34 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,900 I mean, wh-what are the odds that they would pick our bar? 35 00:01:02,933 --> 00:01:05,204 This is a million-to-one shot, 36 00:01:05,238 --> 00:01:06,951 and I've got a really good feeling about this, guys. 37 00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:09,246 Things are about to change here at Paddy's Pub 38 00:01:09,279 --> 00:01:12,352 because our luck just turned around. 39 00:01:37,770 --> 00:01:39,315 The second I clean it up, you're making more crumbs. 40 00:01:39,339 --> 00:01:40,719 - Stop. - There should be more crumbs. 41 00:01:40,743 --> 00:01:42,545 We should put crumbs all over the goddamn bar. 42 00:01:42,579 --> 00:01:44,459 Sorry, but, Charlie, why am I seeing so many silverfish? 43 00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:45,594 I-I don't know where they're coming from, man. 44 00:01:45,618 --> 00:01:46,788 I cannot get rid of them. 45 00:01:46,821 --> 00:01:48,491 You should not get rid of them. 46 00:01:48,524 --> 00:01:50,561 Don't you guys understand what Bar Rescue is? 47 00:01:50,595 --> 00:01:52,465 These are the exact kind of things 48 00:01:52,499 --> 00:01:54,880 that John Taffer's gonna come in and hand our asses to us about. 49 00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:56,684 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 50 00:01:56,708 --> 00:01:58,320 No, I don't... I don't want to have my ass handed to me. 51 00:01:58,344 --> 00:01:59,781 I mean, how the bar comes across is 52 00:01:59,814 --> 00:02:01,918 - a reflection of how I come across. Okay? - Yes. 53 00:02:01,951 --> 00:02:03,296 And I, for one, don't want to be known 54 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,793 as a silverfish man. Okay? 55 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,471 I want to look good for the people watching 56 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,533 in their... 57 00:02:13,809 --> 00:02:16,013 Uh... What's the-the thing? 58 00:02:16,046 --> 00:02:17,817 The-the boxes that-that people live in? 59 00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:19,319 You talking about their homes? 60 00:02:19,352 --> 00:02:21,523 Y... uh, yes, yeah. Their homes. 61 00:02:21,557 --> 00:02:23,537 Jesus. I couldn't think of that word. That's so weird. 62 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,732 Guys, we have a problem. 63 00:02:25,766 --> 00:02:27,937 But whatever you do, don't laugh. 64 00:02:31,744 --> 00:02:33,691 - How are we not supposed to laugh at that? - I wouldn't laugh at that. 65 00:02:33,715 --> 00:02:35,093 This is not funny, all right? It's not a joke. 66 00:02:35,117 --> 00:02:36,496 I don't know what's going on with my face, 67 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:37,756 but it's broken or something. 68 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,035 It's very funny. 69 00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,461 That's really funny. 70 00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:41,998 - Ah! - My egg's all bloody. 71 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,035 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 72 00:02:44,069 --> 00:02:45,672 This is bad, dude. 73 00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:46,951 This is the kind of stuff that starts happening 74 00:02:46,975 --> 00:02:48,645 when someone's put a curse on you. 75 00:02:48,678 --> 00:02:50,414 - Curse? What are you talking about? - What? 76 00:02:50,448 --> 00:02:51,861 Let's just stop and think for a second, okay? 77 00:02:51,885 --> 00:02:53,521 Like, Dee, did you have any run-ins 78 00:02:53,554 --> 00:02:55,859 with anyone who might have put a curse on you? 79 00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:58,364 I mean, I had a tiny little issue 80 00:02:58,397 --> 00:02:59,834 with a neighbor last night. 81 00:02:59,867 --> 00:03:01,838 Yes! 82 00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:05,044 Spewing my hate all over your teenage asses. 83 00:03:05,077 --> 00:03:08,384 What? 84 00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:10,956 Banging the goddamn door down. What? 85 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:13,795 Yeah. 86 00:03:13,829 --> 00:03:15,666 What? Why are you trying to break my door down 87 00:03:15,699 --> 00:03:16,901 at 3:00 in the morning? 88 00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,571 I baked you some brownies. 89 00:03:18,604 --> 00:03:19,874 Why you baking me shit? 90 00:03:19,907 --> 00:03:21,778 - Trying to poison me? - No. 91 00:03:21,811 --> 00:03:25,484 I just wanted to kindly ask if you could keep the noise down. 92 00:03:25,518 --> 00:03:28,792 Oh. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 93 00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:30,528 I didn't realize. 94 00:03:30,561 --> 00:03:32,041 - That was really sweet of you... - Oh, yeah. 95 00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:33,500 - To bake these for me. - Yeah. 96 00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:34,813 Hey, I have something for you also. 97 00:03:34,837 --> 00:03:37,041 - Oh, it's so nice. What is it? - Yeah. 98 00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:39,647 Well, it's a trophy. See? 99 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,149 It says "Cunt of the Year." 100 00:03:41,183 --> 00:03:42,920 That's you. 101 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:46,995 You are a nasty woman, 102 00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:50,401 and bad things are going to happen to you one day. 103 00:03:50,434 --> 00:03:53,541 I guarantee it. 104 00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:54,609 Drop dead. 105 00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:57,983 Well, ther e you go. It sounded like that lady cursed you. 106 00:03:58,017 --> 00:04:00,856 I don't know. I call old ladies cunts all the time. We all do. 107 00:04:00,889 --> 00:04:02,836 - Right. - That's true. - No, she brings up a good point. 108 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,572 - We do. We do. - I called an old lady a cunt this morning. 109 00:04:04,596 --> 00:04:06,701 - See? - Did you? Yeah. - I sure did. I sure did. 110 00:04:06,734 --> 00:04:08,113 - No, I might've done it, too, actually. - Honestly, 111 00:04:08,137 --> 00:04:09,907 for me this raises an even bigger concern. 112 00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,176 Okay. What's that? 113 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,080 Dee had no right to give that trophy away. 114 00:04:13,113 --> 00:04:14,993 I mean, we worked very, very hard on that. 115 00:04:15,017 --> 00:04:16,854 We did. It's not easy to make. 116 00:04:16,888 --> 00:04:18,466 - Nobody wanted to do it. - Plus, she earned it, right? 117 00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:19,937 - Yeah, you earned it. - And you earned it. 118 00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:21,674 And you're just gonna give it away? I mean... 119 00:04:21,698 --> 00:04:23,668 Either way, this is all bullshit anyway, 120 00:04:23,702 --> 00:04:25,982 because we're not having bad luck, we're having good luck. 121 00:04:26,006 --> 00:04:27,408 What about my egg? 122 00:04:27,442 --> 00:04:29,079 You know what that might've been? 123 00:04:29,112 --> 00:04:31,059 Y-You might've gotten cursed when you killed that seabird. 124 00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:32,896 - What seabird? - Oh, I didn't tell you guys about this? Okay. 125 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,191 So, the other day, uh, Frank's making a banana daiquiri. 126 00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:37,495 Seagull flies right into the bar. 127 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:38,999 - Cheers. - Yeah. Here you go. 128 00:04:39,032 --> 00:04:40,534 It's tasty. 129 00:04:41,503 --> 00:04:42,472 - Oh, shit. - What? 130 00:04:42,505 --> 00:04:43,842 A seagull. 131 00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:45,011 Whoa. 132 00:04:47,115 --> 00:04:49,119 Oh, a little birdie. 133 00:04:49,152 --> 00:04:51,590 Oh, what a sweet little birdie. 134 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,596 You want some food? Want some? 135 00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:56,142 Whoa! Shit, Frank! 136 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:58,604 - Die! - Ah, Frank. Jesus. 137 00:04:58,638 --> 00:05:00,742 Come here, you rat, die! 138 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,217 Ah! Goddamn! 139 00:05:05,251 --> 00:05:08,490 And die, you fucking seagull. 140 00:05:08,524 --> 00:05:11,530 Bitch. Fucking cunt. 141 00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:14,235 Well, it's bad luck if a seabird flies into a building. 142 00:05:14,269 --> 00:05:15,939 No, dude. It's bad luck to kill a seabird. 143 00:05:15,973 --> 00:05:17,542 Every sailor knows that. 144 00:05:17,575 --> 00:05:18,778 I don't sail. 145 00:05:18,812 --> 00:05:19,923 Charlie, will you stop trying to turn 146 00:05:19,947 --> 00:05:22,151 our good fortune into bad fortune? 147 00:05:22,185 --> 00:05:24,790 All this doom and gloom. Nobody is cursed. 148 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,593 Oh, really, Mac? Because I straight-up heard 149 00:05:26,628 --> 00:05:27,997 Cricket curse you yesterday. 150 00:05:29,232 --> 00:05:30,243 All right. It's time to make good 151 00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:31,938 on your end of the bargain, Mac. 152 00:05:31,971 --> 00:05:33,249 What are you talking about? I still need proof. 153 00:05:33,273 --> 00:05:35,144 Oh, come on, man. Don't start with that. 154 00:05:35,177 --> 00:05:36,222 - We had... - Cricket, what are you doing in here, man? 155 00:05:36,246 --> 00:05:37,650 That's what I was just saying. 156 00:05:37,683 --> 00:05:39,219 Cricket, what are you doing in here? 157 00:05:39,252 --> 00:05:40,999 What? What-what... No, we're-we're talking business. 158 00:05:41,023 --> 00:05:42,802 Business? I'm not doing business with you, street trash. 159 00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,630 What is your deal, man? What-what... 160 00:05:44,664 --> 00:05:46,075 One second you need me, the next I'm a pile of garbage? 161 00:05:46,099 --> 00:05:48,046 - Is that what this is? - Cricket, beat it, man... 162 00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:50,117 You better beat it, or I'm gonna beat you with my shoe. 163 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,185 - You know what? - Get out of the bar, dude. 164 00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:52,221 You know what? Screw you guys. 165 00:05:52,245 --> 00:05:54,850 Oh. Hey, Mac. 166 00:05:54,884 --> 00:05:56,119 A curse on you. 167 00:05:57,121 --> 00:06:00,962 Vos omnes maledicti mille annis. 168 00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:04,937 I mean, he-he literally cursed you, man. 169 00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:06,215 Now, guys, come on. We got to take this seriously. 170 00:06:06,239 --> 00:06:08,210 Like, let's look at this. Like, uh, Frank. 171 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,923 Let-Let's do our homework on sailors' curses. 172 00:06:09,947 --> 00:06:12,085 Dee, Mac, go make your apologies. 173 00:06:12,118 --> 00:06:13,855 I will do nothing of the sort. 174 00:06:13,888 --> 00:06:15,200 In fact, I am done listening to this. 175 00:06:15,224 --> 00:06:17,195 It's irritating, anti-God, 176 00:06:17,228 --> 00:06:21,103 and most importantly will not make for good Bar Rescue banter. 177 00:06:21,136 --> 00:06:22,572 I am leaving. 178 00:06:22,605 --> 00:06:23,942 Come on, man! 179 00:06:23,975 --> 00:06:27,816 Charlie, how do you know all this curse... 180 00:06:29,854 --> 00:06:31,289 - Stuff? - Yeah. 181 00:06:31,323 --> 00:06:32,969 That... I mean, look, maybe it's real, maybe it's not. 182 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,630 But, like, look at it this way. 183 00:06:34,663 --> 00:06:36,242 Like, i-if a black cat crosses your path, 184 00:06:36,266 --> 00:06:37,936 do you spit over your left shoulder? 185 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:39,172 - Uh-uh. - Why would I do that? 186 00:06:39,205 --> 00:06:40,174 - No. - You guys don't do that one? 187 00:06:40,207 --> 00:06:41,744 I don't know what that is. 188 00:06:41,778 --> 00:06:43,189 Well, I mean, like, when you're hopeful 189 00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:44,659 for something, though, do you knock on wood? 190 00:06:44,683 --> 00:06:46,062 - Oh, that one. No. No. - Nah... No. 191 00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:46,954 I've heard of that one, but I don't do it. 192 00:06:46,988 --> 00:06:48,223 Well, do you make a wish 193 00:06:48,257 --> 00:06:49,927 when you blow out a damn candle? I mean... 194 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,931 - Of course we do. - Yes. - Ah, yes, that one I do. 195 00:06:51,964 --> 00:06:53,576 - You know what I'm talking about. - Candles, yeah, I like that. 196 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,613 Well, 'cause I want my wishes to come true. 197 00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:55,571 Okay. And why do you do it? 198 00:06:55,604 --> 00:06:56,641 You do it just in case. 199 00:06:56,674 --> 00:07:00,247 Just in case it's real, right? 200 00:07:00,281 --> 00:07:02,018 And "just in case" is as good a reason 201 00:07:02,051 --> 00:07:03,251 to believe in anything as any. 202 00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:05,759 Hmm. 203 00:07:11,049 --> 00:07:12,103 I got to call a doctor or something. 204 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,363 Oh, no, you definitely should. 205 00:07:13,396 --> 00:07:14,834 I'm pretty sure you have Bell's palsy. 206 00:07:14,858 --> 00:07:16,462 I, uh, I looked it up. 207 00:07:16,495 --> 00:07:17,507 But first you got to apologize to your neighbor. 208 00:07:17,531 --> 00:07:20,570 Yeah. Just in case? Hmm? 209 00:07:20,603 --> 00:07:22,407 Just in ca... No, no. 210 00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:23,976 I don't believe in that bullshit. No. 211 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,589 She's got the trophy. I want to get the trophy back. 212 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,283 You had no right to give that to her. 213 00:07:27,317 --> 00:07:29,287 I swear to God, if she doesn't have that thing, 214 00:07:29,321 --> 00:07:30,733 - I'm gonna paralyze the other side of your face. - Oh, okay. 215 00:07:30,757 --> 00:07:32,370 'Cause I want it. Come on, that's-that's crazy. 216 00:07:32,394 --> 00:07:34,431 You-you have to be nominated for that. 217 00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:37,671 Hello, um, you don't know me, 218 00:07:37,704 --> 00:07:40,610 but I'm the brother of this horrible woman, 219 00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:42,481 and she just wanted to come by and tell you 220 00:07:42,514 --> 00:07:44,651 that she's very... 221 00:07:46,822 --> 00:07:48,793 Uh, she-she feels... She, uh... 222 00:07:48,826 --> 00:07:50,497 Oh, what's the word? 223 00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:51,808 To make better the feelings? 224 00:07:51,832 --> 00:07:54,671 - "Sorry"? - Sorry. Yes. Goddamn. 225 00:07:54,705 --> 00:07:56,809 Um... I don't know what that... Yeah. 226 00:07:56,842 --> 00:07:58,980 - Yeah. - Um, and also, she, um... 227 00:07:59,013 --> 00:08:01,318 She gave you something, uh, a trophy, 228 00:08:01,352 --> 00:08:02,654 and-and it was not hers to give. 229 00:08:02,687 --> 00:08:04,391 Do-do you perhaps still have that? 230 00:08:04,424 --> 00:08:06,562 - Yeah, I have it. I'll get it. - Yeah? Okay, great. 231 00:08:06,595 --> 00:08:08,107 You know what? I got to look up some clinics, 232 00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:09,644 'cause I really need a doctor to fix my face 233 00:08:09,668 --> 00:08:10,670 before we're on TV. 234 00:08:11,872 --> 00:08:13,309 - Uh-oh. - Hmm? 235 00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:15,446 - Whoa. Did-did you see that? - What? 236 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,849 See what? 237 00:08:16,882 --> 00:08:18,986 Uh, a black cat just ran out of her apartment. 238 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,957 - It just... - I didn't see a cat. 239 00:08:20,990 --> 00:08:22,727 You kidding me? It ran right past us. 240 00:08:22,761 --> 00:08:23,763 Well, that's not good. 241 00:08:23,796 --> 00:08:25,533 - A black cat? - Yeah. 242 00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:26,945 Well, shit. What'd Charlie say we were supposed to do 243 00:08:26,969 --> 00:08:28,014 if we saw it? That's a bad omen. 244 00:08:28,038 --> 00:08:29,942 Oh. 245 00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:31,846 Oh! 246 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,850 Uh-oh. I got you, didn't I? Sorry about that. 247 00:08:33,883 --> 00:08:34,985 - Yes, you did. - Yeah. 248 00:08:35,018 --> 00:08:36,455 Boy, that's a shame. 249 00:08:36,488 --> 00:08:37,700 - Thank you for this, though. - Yeah. 250 00:08:37,724 --> 00:08:39,761 Um, listen, um... Do you have a cat? 251 00:08:39,795 --> 00:08:41,708 'Cause I think I just saw one run out of your apartment. 252 00:08:41,732 --> 00:08:43,603 - A cat? - Yeah, yeah. A little black cat? 253 00:08:43,636 --> 00:08:46,976 I had a little black cat. Her name was Maureen. 254 00:08:48,078 --> 00:08:49,448 Whoa. 255 00:08:49,481 --> 00:08:51,585 But she's been dead for years. 256 00:08:51,619 --> 00:08:53,856 Huh. That's crazy. 257 00:08:53,890 --> 00:08:55,960 I was, I was murdered to a woman named Maureen. 258 00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:57,430 - Huh? - Huh? 259 00:08:57,464 --> 00:08:58,766 No, I meant married. I'm sorry. 260 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,011 I was married to a woman named Maureen. 261 00:09:00,035 --> 00:09:01,438 I-I... 262 00:09:01,472 --> 00:09:03,442 That's so weird. I swear I saw a cat. 263 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,687 You know what? This place is full of cats. 264 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:05,723 Can we get out of here, please? 265 00:09:05,747 --> 00:09:07,049 - Yeah, go. Go. - Okay. 266 00:09:07,082 --> 00:09:09,521 And please keep the noise down at night. 267 00:09:09,555 --> 00:09:11,559 Yeah. Okay, you got it, cunt. 268 00:09:14,464 --> 00:09:15,800 Are you sure about this, Cricket? 269 00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:17,637 Yeah, I'm sure about it, man. 270 00:09:17,671 --> 00:09:18,916 I've been greasing the doormen of this building for years. 271 00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:20,543 Chase Utley's back in town. 272 00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:22,423 He's coming out of his apartment any second now. 273 00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:23,926 Is it good intel? 'Cause I only got one good shot at this. 274 00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:25,462 Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. What do I know? 275 00:09:25,486 --> 00:09:26,789 I'm just a street rat, right? 276 00:09:26,822 --> 00:09:28,693 I'm just trash. That's what you said. 277 00:09:28,726 --> 00:09:30,004 - Okay, Cricks, I'll tell you... - You've got nothing for me. 278 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,575 I knew you were gonna be a little bit of 279 00:09:31,599 --> 00:09:32,877 a bitch about this, so I did something nice. 280 00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:35,506 - I got you a sixer. - You got that for me? 281 00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:36,718 Yeah, I got a gift for you, buddy. 282 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,746 There's only four in here. 283 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,450 I drank two of 'em, of course. 284 00:09:40,483 --> 00:09:42,128 Okay. All right. Well, thank you. 285 00:09:42,152 --> 00:09:43,799 Oh, I'm gonna buy a six-pack and not drink two? 286 00:09:43,823 --> 00:09:45,927 Well, yeah. That's kind of the kind thing to... 287 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,873 But I... Look, um, thank you for the four. 288 00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:49,009 If I'm being honest, I drank four. 289 00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:50,737 Two of those are piss. 290 00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,148 Because I was stuck in the van, and you were out... 291 00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:53,976 You know what, I don't even care, frankly. 292 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,422 - I'm just glad to have a beverage. - Yeah. All right. 293 00:09:55,446 --> 00:09:56,725 All right, um... 294 00:09:56,749 --> 00:09:58,519 Dominus espritu sanctum, okay? 295 00:09:58,552 --> 00:10:00,723 - You're off. - What was that? 296 00:10:00,757 --> 00:10:02,637 I was, uh, I was lifting the curse that I put on you. 297 00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:05,900 Oh. Yeah, no, I don't believe in curses. 298 00:10:05,934 --> 00:10:07,570 Yeah, that's anti-God, 299 00:10:07,604 --> 00:10:09,116 and God is the reason that all things happen. 300 00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:10,710 And speaking of things that happened, 301 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,714 I got to show you something, Cricks, 302 00:10:12,747 --> 00:10:15,018 but you got to keep it a secret. 303 00:10:16,054 --> 00:10:18,459 Something wrong with your dick? 304 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,195 - What? - Okay, I was waiting for this. 305 00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:21,975 If it's your dick, though, I-I got to charge you for it. 306 00:10:21,999 --> 00:10:23,077 I'm gonna tell you right now. 307 00:10:23,101 --> 00:10:24,905 No. It's not my dick, Cricket. 308 00:10:24,938 --> 00:10:26,116 Well, if-if you're gonna whip it out, uh, 309 00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,011 we're on the clock. All right? 310 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,724 - I'm not whipping anything out! - There's a tiered system... 311 00:10:29,748 --> 00:10:31,585 Look. This. 312 00:10:31,619 --> 00:10:33,188 What? What is that? 313 00:10:33,221 --> 00:10:35,727 It's a monkey paw, and I think it's good luck, 314 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,105 like a rabbit's foot or something like that, 315 00:10:37,129 --> 00:10:38,633 'cause ever since I found it, 316 00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:40,111 nothing but good things have happened. 317 00:10:40,135 --> 00:10:41,705 Uh, sorry, I thought God was the reason 318 00:10:41,739 --> 00:10:43,676 that anything good happens, et cetera. 319 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:47,651 Well, no. God decides who the good things happen to 320 00:10:47,684 --> 00:10:49,186 and then who he smites. 321 00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:51,024 - You're not following. - I-I can't follow it. 322 00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,737 - Cricket, I'm... - It makes literally no sense. 323 00:10:52,761 --> 00:10:55,074 - You got to pick a lane. - I don't even know why I even... 324 00:10:55,098 --> 00:10:56,711 - Let's get this open. I'm feeling curious. - Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 325 00:10:56,735 --> 00:10:57,913 Wait, that's... there he is, there he is. Okay. 326 00:10:57,937 --> 00:10:59,474 Let's go. 327 00:10:59,508 --> 00:11:02,112 Mr. Utley? 328 00:11:02,146 --> 00:11:04,116 Mr. Utley? 329 00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:06,254 Mr. Utley, a moment of your time, sir. 330 00:11:06,287 --> 00:11:08,024 Mr. Utley? 331 00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:09,928 Mr. Utley, hello? 332 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,901 Hello. Oh, hi. Hi, Mr. Utley. 333 00:11:12,934 --> 00:11:14,838 Hey, uh, would you like an autograph? 334 00:11:14,871 --> 00:11:17,176 Oh, no. That's a cl... A classic, Mr. Utley. 335 00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:20,182 - I-It's me, Mac. - I don't know a Mac. 336 00:11:20,215 --> 00:11:22,195 I wrote you a letter every week for the last ten years. 337 00:11:22,219 --> 00:11:24,591 Did you not receive my letters? There was a video. 338 00:11:24,624 --> 00:11:26,695 A video in response. Wait. 339 00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,966 "Dear Mac, I feel like I can call you Mac 340 00:11:28,999 --> 00:11:30,703 "because you called me Chase. 341 00:11:30,737 --> 00:11:33,576 "Thank you for the compliment on my hair. 342 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,988 "It's my fourth favorite thing after baseball, 343 00:11:35,012 --> 00:11:37,650 "running fast and my dad. 344 00:11:37,684 --> 00:11:39,521 "I'm sorry your dad doesn't like you. 345 00:11:39,554 --> 00:11:41,692 "Maybe you could become a better son. 346 00:11:41,725 --> 00:11:43,529 "Meeting you and having a game of catch 347 00:11:43,562 --> 00:11:45,241 "sounds like a lot of fun, but like I said, 348 00:11:45,265 --> 00:11:48,138 "I'm really busy playing a lot of baseball for the Phillies. 349 00:11:48,171 --> 00:11:50,208 "I hope you have a good life. 350 00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,647 "Fans like you make my life a 'grand slam.' 351 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,818 Your good friend, Chase." 352 00:11:54,851 --> 00:11:56,822 - Wait, you're that Mac? - Yes. 353 00:11:56,855 --> 00:11:59,093 I thought Mac was a little kid. 354 00:11:59,126 --> 00:12:01,598 Yes, there's a child. A child... 355 00:12:01,632 --> 00:12:04,805 A child born unto me. Little Mac. 356 00:12:04,838 --> 00:12:06,542 - What? - He's Little Mac, I'm Big Mac, 357 00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:07,753 and you shall have a catch with him. 358 00:12:07,777 --> 00:12:09,013 Your hair, it's throwing me. 359 00:12:09,046 --> 00:12:11,184 It's making me very nervous. 360 00:12:11,217 --> 00:12:13,021 On the Dodgers, yes, you were the Silver Fox. 361 00:12:13,054 --> 00:12:15,025 Philadelphia, you were just the Fox. 362 00:12:15,058 --> 00:12:16,895 I don't know, man. I'm pretty busy. 363 00:12:16,929 --> 00:12:20,737 Yes, we're all, we're all busy, but the boy is sick. 364 00:12:22,106 --> 00:12:23,876 He's very sick. He's, he's dying. 365 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:26,949 He's got leukemia and you shall have a catch with him. 366 00:12:26,982 --> 00:12:29,621 - Where's my car? - I'll tweet that you didn't. 367 00:12:29,654 --> 00:12:31,157 I'm sorry. I threatened you. 368 00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:32,727 Now I'm upset and so are you. 369 00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:37,771 A catch, we shall have? Later today. 370 00:12:37,804 --> 00:12:40,576 Okay. Maybe, but for, like, five minutes tops. 371 00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:43,315 - Yes. Yes, yes. - I'm really busy. 372 00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:45,218 Mom? 373 00:12:45,252 --> 00:12:47,657 Hey, can we pick your brain about something? 374 00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:50,797 Oh, Charlie, I didn't think you could make it. 375 00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:54,036 - Come on in. - Yeah, shit, I forgot it's Uncle Jack's birthday. 376 00:12:54,069 --> 00:12:56,040 Come on in, Charlie. You can sit next to me. 377 00:12:56,073 --> 00:12:58,646 Nah, I'm good. Uh, we'll come back later or something. 378 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,650 No, no, no, no, Charlie. I want a piece of cake. 379 00:13:00,683 --> 00:13:02,119 - Come on. - Oh, do you? Oh, shit. 380 00:13:02,152 --> 00:13:03,689 Okay, all right, all right. 381 00:13:03,722 --> 00:13:06,762 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Jack ♪ 382 00:13:06,795 --> 00:13:10,268 - ♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ - Can we switch seats? 383 00:13:10,303 --> 00:13:12,239 Okay, make a wish. 384 00:13:12,272 --> 00:13:14,644 Oh, right, right, right. Okay, you and I hold hands. 385 00:13:14,678 --> 00:13:17,049 - Nope. - Okay, ready? 386 00:13:17,082 --> 00:13:18,752 All right. 387 00:13:18,786 --> 00:13:20,399 -Oh! -Good. All right. Very good, very good. 388 00:13:20,423 --> 00:13:22,059 Hey, you want to know my wish, Charlie? 389 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,972 - Sure don't, pal. - Ooh, don't tell him your wish, 390 00:13:23,996 --> 00:13:26,067 - it won't come true. - Yeah, there you go. 391 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,904 - Exactly. - I made a wish, too. 392 00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:30,118 How about you and me go on upstairs with some cake, Bon? 393 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,012 Hey, Frank, you don't get a wish, okay? 394 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,859 That's not how birthday candles work. 395 00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:35,796 - Says who? - Uh, look, that's not why we're here! 396 00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:37,256 Mom, Frank killed a seagull. 397 00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:41,398 Hey, that's not good, Frank. 398 00:13:41,431 --> 00:13:43,043 Yeah, we know it's not good, Uncle Jack. Okay? 399 00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,781 That's why... that's why we came here, all right? 400 00:13:44,805 --> 00:13:46,384 Mom, now is that the kind of thing that could put, like, 401 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:49,848 - a curse on Frank? - Yes. 402 00:13:49,881 --> 00:13:54,391 They say that a sailor's spirit lives on in the gulls, 403 00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:57,062 and if you kill a gull, the sailor 404 00:13:57,095 --> 00:13:59,200 can haunt you for the rest of its life. 405 00:13:59,233 --> 00:14:01,213 - No shit? - Yeah, well, is there anything we can do, 406 00:14:01,237 --> 00:14:04,377 - or, like... - Well, you could slit Frank's throat 407 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,817 with a horn of a goat and drink a bowl of his blood. 408 00:14:07,851 --> 00:14:09,321 What? 409 00:14:09,354 --> 00:14:11,825 Well, uh, okay, yeah, maybe not, maybe not that. 410 00:14:11,859 --> 00:14:13,429 Is, like, there anything else, or... 411 00:14:13,462 --> 00:14:14,965 Ooh! 412 00:14:14,998 --> 00:14:17,437 He could behead the gull and wear its skull 413 00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:20,208 around his neck for the rest of his life. 414 00:14:20,242 --> 00:14:21,454 Mom, that's not gonna work, 'cause we don't have 415 00:14:21,478 --> 00:14:23,349 - the gull anymore. - Yeah, we do. 416 00:14:23,382 --> 00:14:24,885 It's at the bar. 417 00:14:24,918 --> 00:14:26,254 - What? It is? - Mm, yeah. 418 00:14:26,287 --> 00:14:27,757 I kicked it under one of the booths 419 00:14:27,790 --> 00:14:29,293 so I didn't have to clean it up. 420 00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:32,877 Okay, so you're telling me that you want to wear 421 00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:35,473 a seagull skull around your neck for the rest of your life? 422 00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:37,810 I don't know. Could be cool. 423 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:38,855 No, we're not doing that. That's crazy. 424 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:39,948 Mom, anything else? 425 00:14:39,981 --> 00:14:42,252 You could give the seagull 426 00:14:42,286 --> 00:14:44,791 a proper burial. 427 00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:47,864 What? Well, yeah, that one, Mom. That one. 428 00:14:47,897 --> 00:14:50,011 Why didn't you lead off with that one in the first place? 429 00:14:50,035 --> 00:14:52,707 Well, sometimes you're at sea, Charlie, 430 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,945 and you wouldn't have that option. 431 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,481 Do I look like I'm at sea, Mom? 432 00:14:56,515 --> 00:14:58,295 - I don't know. - You don't know if I'm at sea? 433 00:14:58,319 --> 00:14:59,764 You don't, uh... Uncle Jack, stop. 434 00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:00,948 Stop putting your hand on me. 435 00:15:08,439 --> 00:15:10,476 Looking for this. 436 00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,380 What is it? 437 00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:14,283 Maureen Ponderosa. 438 00:15:14,317 --> 00:15:16,163 - Well, why do you have that? - Well, I wanted to keep it 439 00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:18,792 as a-a-a... 440 00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:21,297 Oh, a trophy? From the murder. 441 00:15:21,331 --> 00:15:23,268 No, not a... What? No, not a trophy. 442 00:15:23,302 --> 00:15:25,071 I... As... I wanted... 443 00:15:25,105 --> 00:15:26,742 Like a souvenir, f-from your victim. 444 00:15:26,775 --> 00:15:28,278 Not a souvenir, no. It's-it's, a... 445 00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:31,117 It's a... I wanted to keep it as a w-way to spite her. 446 00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:32,453 Which one? Which one's it under? 447 00:15:32,487 --> 00:15:34,491 - Uh, by the jukebox. Over here. - Oh... ah! 448 00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:36,069 -Over here. -I see it, yeah. Let me get a trash bag. 449 00:15:36,093 --> 00:15:37,864 Eh. 450 00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:40,268 - What the hell is that? - That's the gull Frank killed. 451 00:15:40,303 --> 00:15:42,440 - All right. - What's that? 452 00:15:42,473 --> 00:15:44,043 Oh, that's his dead wife. 453 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,513 - Yeah. - Looks like a trophy. 454 00:15:45,546 --> 00:15:47,951 No, it's not a-a trophy, okay? 455 00:15:47,984 --> 00:15:49,497 The crazy bitch had it in her will that she wanted 456 00:15:49,521 --> 00:15:52,092 to be buried in a pet cemetery, and I refused. 457 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,529 Wait a second. 458 00:15:53,562 --> 00:15:55,433 You refused your wife's dying wishes 459 00:15:55,466 --> 00:15:57,937 to be buried in a pet cemetery? Why would you do that? 460 00:15:57,971 --> 00:15:59,407 Because she's not a cat. 461 00:15:59,441 --> 00:16:00,852 Yeah, but, dude, like, that's-that's the exact 462 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:01,955 kind of thing that could lead to a curse. 463 00:16:01,979 --> 00:16:03,482 That... I know. 464 00:16:03,515 --> 00:16:05,853 I... Yes. Okay, I get that now. 465 00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:07,466 - This is bullshit, Cricket. - I don't know what you're so upset about. 466 00:16:07,490 --> 00:16:09,193 Y-You said get a kid. 467 00:16:09,226 --> 00:16:11,965 I mean, his name on the street is literally "Kid." 468 00:16:11,999 --> 00:16:14,203 - That's what he goes by. - He is a grown man. 469 00:16:14,236 --> 00:16:16,875 I can be whatever you want me to be, champ. 470 00:16:16,908 --> 00:16:19,279 - I'll make your dreams come true. - Oh, he can. 471 00:16:19,314 --> 00:16:21,394 -Would you make it... Do a, do a turn. Do a spin. -Oh. 472 00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:24,089 There you go. Make it sexy. Let's go. 473 00:16:25,626 --> 00:16:27,563 Yeah. 474 00:16:27,597 --> 00:16:29,133 Uh, move the bangs, put the bangs. 475 00:16:29,166 --> 00:16:30,803 Show them your face, show them your face. 476 00:16:30,836 --> 00:16:33,074 - Yeah. Huh? - Hey. 477 00:16:33,107 --> 00:16:35,021 - Get him out of here. - All right, yeah. You're gone. 478 00:16:35,045 --> 00:16:36,156 - Uh, here. Go. - Oh, yeah... 479 00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:37,326 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 480 00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:38,519 Drugs? Mm. 481 00:16:38,552 --> 00:16:40,890 No eyes. 482 00:16:40,923 --> 00:16:42,125 Okay. 483 00:16:42,159 --> 00:16:43,294 It's all about respect. 484 00:16:43,329 --> 00:16:44,864 Mac, what the hell is this? 485 00:16:44,898 --> 00:16:47,537 Um, I believe that Cricket is now a pimp, 486 00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:49,374 and that was his boy slut. 487 00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:51,511 Uh, t-that's oversimplifying it. 488 00:16:51,545 --> 00:16:53,615 But, uh, that's-that's it in a nutshell. 489 00:16:53,649 --> 00:16:55,227 No, we got that. He got, yeah, he means like... 490 00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:57,423 Yes. I-I mean, what are you doing with Cricket? 491 00:16:57,457 --> 00:16:58,897 No, he's got a monkey paw. 492 00:16:58,926 --> 00:17:01,263 Ugh, come on, Cricket. That's a secret. 493 00:17:01,297 --> 00:17:03,043 Oh, I can't keep secret... Honestly, I'm so high, 494 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:04,604 I'm thinking about it, and I'm gonna go 495 00:17:04,637 --> 00:17:07,275 with him in the bathroom and finish up the... Yeah. 496 00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:08,879 Mac, what's going on 497 00:17:08,912 --> 00:17:10,316 with the monkey paw? What is this? 498 00:17:10,349 --> 00:17:11,461 You know how I've been chasing Chase Utley 499 00:17:11,485 --> 00:17:13,121 for years to have a catch? 500 00:17:13,154 --> 00:17:15,091 Well, I finally got to him and we were supposed 501 00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:17,597 to have a catch tomorrow with my "dying son." 502 00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:19,299 Cricket was gonna help me find one, 503 00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:21,505 - but he brought back a junkie. - Wait, wait, wait. 504 00:17:21,538 --> 00:17:24,209 You actually met Chase Utley? How'd you do that? 505 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:26,314 Well, ever since I found this monkey's paw, 506 00:17:26,348 --> 00:17:28,251 my luck has totally turned around. 507 00:17:28,284 --> 00:17:30,923 Well, actually, it wasn't just a paw. 508 00:17:30,956 --> 00:17:33,962 It was a whole monkey behind the kegs, and he was dead. 509 00:17:33,996 --> 00:17:36,033 He had this cash in his hand, and when I went 510 00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:38,013 to grab the cash, the whole hand just, like, kind of popped out, 511 00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:39,550 and I've been carrying it around ever since. 512 00:17:39,574 --> 00:17:41,421 Monkey in the bar, right? Totally random. 513 00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:43,415 Wha... that-that's not random at all. 514 00:17:43,449 --> 00:17:45,519 That's probably the monkey that worked here, 515 00:17:45,553 --> 00:17:47,399 - robbed us and fucked our faces. - He got stuck behind the keg. 516 00:17:47,423 --> 00:17:49,394 - It's behind the kegs? - Well, actually, 517 00:17:49,427 --> 00:17:51,307 I found him by the office, but I kicked him behind the kegs 518 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:53,267 because I didn't feel like cleaning him up. 519 00:17:53,302 --> 00:17:54,571 - Oh! - Goddamn it! 520 00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:56,183 Well, he is decomposing 521 00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:58,111 and there's also a shit-ton of mold back there. 522 00:17:58,144 --> 00:17:59,079 - Shit, now I smell it. - I don't know how I missed that. 523 00:17:59,113 --> 00:18:00,983 Okay, okay. 524 00:18:01,016 --> 00:18:02,362 I got a new fix, all right? I got a new fix for everything. 525 00:18:02,386 --> 00:18:04,289 We're gonna take, uh, your wife, 526 00:18:04,324 --> 00:18:05,993 the gull and what's left of the monkey, 527 00:18:06,026 --> 00:18:07,539 and we're gonna bury them all in a pet cemetery. 528 00:18:07,563 --> 00:18:09,643 And Mac, you are gonna have a catch with Chase Utley, 529 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,270 but not with your dying son. 530 00:18:11,304 --> 00:18:13,409 - Why not? - 'Cause he's already dead. 531 00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,282 I'm confused. 532 00:18:17,316 --> 00:18:18,519 This is your son? 533 00:18:18,552 --> 00:18:20,155 Oh, yes, Mr. Utley. 534 00:18:20,188 --> 00:18:21,701 I didn't have the heart to tell you earlier. 535 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,263 He was only ten years old when he died. He's dead now. 536 00:18:24,296 --> 00:18:26,167 Why is he buried at a pet cemetery? 537 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,106 Dogs. He loved dogs. 538 00:18:29,139 --> 00:18:30,543 Okay, man. What is this? 539 00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,346 What's going on? 540 00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:36,287 I'm sorry, I... 541 00:18:36,321 --> 00:18:39,994 Look, I know you're gonna think that this is crazy, 542 00:18:40,028 --> 00:18:42,032 but I-I found this monkey paw, 543 00:18:42,065 --> 00:18:43,936 and it's brought me really good luck. 544 00:18:43,969 --> 00:18:46,475 And I know that you don't think superstitions are real, 545 00:18:46,508 --> 00:18:47,944 and that this is all ridiculous... 546 00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:49,681 Not real? Of course they're real. 547 00:18:49,714 --> 00:18:51,985 - What, really? - Yeah. 548 00:18:52,018 --> 00:18:53,465 How do you think baseball players get out of their slumps? 549 00:18:53,489 --> 00:18:55,291 With superstitions. 550 00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:57,597 'Cause what they believe influences their actions. 551 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,233 But actions do have consequences. 552 00:18:59,266 --> 00:19:01,671 Like lying, Mac. 553 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:03,442 Why don't you hand over that monkey paw? 554 00:19:05,379 --> 00:19:07,215 You're right. 555 00:19:07,249 --> 00:19:10,456 You're right, actions do have consequences, and I... 556 00:19:10,489 --> 00:19:12,460 I'm really sorry, man, I think... 557 00:19:12,493 --> 00:19:14,998 Hall of Fame, baby, here I come! 558 00:19:16,535 --> 00:19:18,739 What the hell was that all about? 559 00:19:18,772 --> 00:19:22,078 I think Chase Utley just stole my monkey paw. 560 00:19:22,112 --> 00:19:24,584 Oh. Well, then, maybe the curse has been lifted. 561 00:19:24,617 --> 00:19:27,122 - Oh. Right, yeah. - Uh, hey, guys? Um... 562 00:19:27,155 --> 00:19:29,193 - Hmm? - Check this out. 563 00:19:29,226 --> 00:19:31,698 Okay, so, apparently, um... 564 00:19:31,731 --> 00:19:34,404 temporary facial paralysis and brain fog 565 00:19:34,437 --> 00:19:36,741 are all symptoms of exposure to high levels of mold. 566 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,447 - Huh? - Oh... 567 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,785 You know what? That might also explain the silverfish. 568 00:19:41,818 --> 00:19:43,287 Yeah, no, it does. Actually, it does. 569 00:19:43,322 --> 00:19:44,490 They eat mold. 570 00:19:44,524 --> 00:19:45,702 - Huh? - And what about my egg? 571 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:46,737 Well, is it possible, Frank, 572 00:19:46,761 --> 00:19:48,465 that that egg was a seagull egg? 573 00:19:50,369 --> 00:19:52,048 - Oh... - That might've been, because, you know what, 574 00:19:52,072 --> 00:19:53,642 - we found some eggs... - And we... 575 00:19:53,675 --> 00:19:55,355 - And you might've mixed them up. - I might've swapped... 576 00:19:55,379 --> 00:19:57,024 - Mixed them up. - Yeah, 'cause we had store eggs 577 00:19:57,048 --> 00:19:58,428 - and we had found eggs. - You did a flip-flop. 578 00:19:58,452 --> 00:19:59,563 - You did a flip-flop. - Yeah, there you go. 579 00:19:59,587 --> 00:20:00,765 So, the... so, there's no curse. 580 00:20:00,789 --> 00:20:02,660 Oh, no. Hold on a second. 581 00:20:02,693 --> 00:20:04,597 "Dear Mr. McDonald, we regret to inform you 582 00:20:04,631 --> 00:20:07,370 that we came by your bar and there was nobody there." 583 00:20:07,403 --> 00:20:09,139 - Huh? - "After several failed attempts 584 00:20:09,172 --> 00:20:11,411 "to reach you, we have decided to rescind our offer. 585 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:14,450 We wish you the best of luck. Your friends at Bar Rescue." 586 00:20:14,484 --> 00:20:15,819 Damn it. If I had that monkey paw, 587 00:20:15,853 --> 00:20:17,490 none of this would've happened. 588 00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:18,701 Yeah, so that means we are still cursed. 589 00:20:18,725 --> 00:20:20,128 - Oh, no. - Shit. - It doesn't! 590 00:20:20,161 --> 00:20:21,464 We're not... There is no curse. 591 00:20:21,498 --> 00:20:23,468 Okay? Mac, no, you were never lucky. 592 00:20:23,502 --> 00:20:25,606 Okay? You just bombarded them both with mail. 593 00:20:25,639 --> 00:20:27,275 And you stalked Chase Utley for years. 594 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:30,382 We're not unlucky, okay? We're just the type of... 595 00:20:30,416 --> 00:20:32,720 We're just the type of people to bury various animals 596 00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,326 and-and wives in a pet cemetery 597 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,828 when we know we should be at work. 598 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,099 - Oh, yeah. - Let's go back to the bar. 599 00:20:39,132 --> 00:20:40,812 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 600 00:20:40,836 --> 00:20:43,140 Uh, what about me? What about my luck? 601 00:20:43,174 --> 00:20:46,781 I don't know, Cricks, I guess... there's no real explanation 602 00:20:46,815 --> 00:20:48,785 as to why bad things would happen to you. 603 00:20:48,819 --> 00:20:50,832 - Yeah. - Maybe it's just one of those things, Cricket. 604 00:20:50,856 --> 00:20:52,402 -That's life. That's life, sometimes. -Yeah, man. 605 00:20:52,426 --> 00:20:54,129 - It is what it is. - You got a dark cloud 606 00:20:54,162 --> 00:20:56,142 - following you around. - It is what it is. 607 00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:57,579 - That's all there is to it. - It is what it is. 608 00:20:57,603 --> 00:20:59,483 - It is what it is. - Nice day. 609 00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:42,593 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org