1 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,240 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 2 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,008 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 3 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,511 "Congratulations, Paddy's Pub. 4 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,345 "We are pleased to report that we are interested in featuring 5 00:00:12,378 --> 00:00:15,616 "your bar on an upcoming episode of our show. 6 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,718 "We will be sending a producer to do a walk-through soon. 7 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:20,053 "Warmly, your friends at... 8 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,187 Bar Rescue!" 9 00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:22,723 Yes! 10 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,191 This is like our dreams come true, right? 11 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,193 What? To be on a reality TV show? 12 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:28,529 Yeah. Wh-- How did this happen? 13 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,063 I've been writing them a letter every week 14 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,065 since the show first started. 15 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,399 -Well, how long's it been? -Too long. 16 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:34,434 I very much do want to be famous, 17 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,402 but I don't know if I want to be on a reality show 18 00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:38,104 where they try and make us look like jerks. 19 00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:39,272 - Right. - Right. Oh, right, yeah. 20 00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:40,574 'Cause, like, what if they, like, edit it 21 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,075 to, like, make me look stupid or something? 22 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,377 Yeah. This is a definite pass for me. I'm out. 23 00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:45,378 This could be huge for us. 24 00:00:45,411 --> 00:00:47,113 What are you guys talking about? 25 00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:48,649 I'm a little disappointed that you didn't tell me earlier 26 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,650 because I would have been working out 27 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:50,751 for weeks in preparation. 28 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,586 I mean, for God's sakes, man. 29 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,420 What if, what if my shirt falls off? 30 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,356 Yeah, yeah. I'm a little off my regimen, too. 31 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,291 Like, I haven't even been doing any of my 32 00:00:58,324 --> 00:00:59,225 -workouts. -Ever. He never has. Yeah. 33 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,361 You guys are missing the bigger picture here. 34 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,197 I mean, wh-what are the odds that they would pick our bar? 35 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,534 This is a million-to-one shot, 36 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,434 and I've got a really good feeling about this, guys. 37 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,370 Things are about to change here at Paddy's Pub 38 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,507 because our luck just turned around. 39 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:37,464 Mac, stop. 40 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,331 The second I clean it up, you're making more crumbs. 41 00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:39,332 -Stop. -There should be more crumbs. 42 00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:40,534 We should put crumbs all over the goddamn bar. 43 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,504 Sorry, but, Charlie, why am I seeing so many silverfish? 44 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,672 I-I don't know where they're coming from, man. 45 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:45,739 I cannot get rid of them. 46 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,373 You should not get rid of them. 47 00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,643 Don't you guys understand what Bar Rescue is? 48 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,579 These are the exact kind of things 49 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,213 that John Taffer's gonna come in and hand our asses to us about. 50 00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:55,348 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 51 00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:57,383 No, I don't-I don't want to have my ass handed to me. 52 00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,886 I mean, how the bar comes across is 53 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,321 -a reflection of how I come across. Okay? -Yes. 54 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,388 And I, for one, don't want to be known 55 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:05,224 as a silverfish man. Okay? 56 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:06,594 I want to look good for the people watching 57 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,495 in their... 58 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,531 In, uh, th-the... 59 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,268 Uh... What's the-the thing? 60 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,837 The-the boxes that-that people live in? 61 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,404 You talking about their homes? 62 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,741 Y-- Uh, yes, yeah. Their homes. 63 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,676 - Jesus. I couldn't think of that word. That's so weird. 64 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,912 Guys, we have a problem. 65 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,146 But whatever you do, don't laugh. 66 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,853 -How are we not supposed to laugh at that? -I wouldn't laugh at that. 67 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,354 This is not funny, all right? It's not a joke. 68 00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:35,556 I don't know what's going on with my face, 69 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,690 but it's broken or something. 70 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,257 It's very funny. 71 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,593 That's really funny. 72 00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,260 -Ah! -My egg's all bloody. 73 00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,296 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 74 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,565 This is bad, dude. 75 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:45,933 This is the kind of stuff that starts happening 76 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,568 when someone's put a curse on you. 77 00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,536 -Curse? What are you talking about? -What? 78 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:50,871 Let's just stop and think for a second, okay? 79 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,438 Like, Dee, did you have any run-ins 80 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:55,274 with anyone who might have put a curse on you? 81 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,511 I mean, I had a tiny little issue 82 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:58,879 with a neighbor last night. 83 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,280 Yes! 84 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:04,350 - Spewing my hate all over your teenage asses. 85 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:07,521 What? 86 00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,857 Banging the goddamn door down. What? 87 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,226 Yeah. 88 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,695 What? Why are you trying to break my door down 89 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,195 at 3:00 in the morning? 90 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,765 I baked you some brownies. 91 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:18,866 Why you baking me shit? 92 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,634 - Trying to poison me? - No. 93 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:24,672 I just wanted to kindly ask if you could keep the noise down. 94 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,841 Oh. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 95 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,710 I didn't realize. 96 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,344 -That was really sweet of you -Oh, yeah. 97 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:32,513 -to bake these for me. -Yeah. 98 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,213 Hey, I have something for you also. 99 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,349 -Oh, it's so nice. What is it? -Yeah. 100 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,852 Well, it's a trophy. See? 101 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,487 It says "Cunt of the Year." 102 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,955 That's you. 103 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,460 You are a nasty woman, 104 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:49,563 and bad things are going to happen to you one day. 105 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,533 I guarantee it. 106 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,600 Drop dead. 107 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:57,538 Well, there you go. It sounded like that lady cursed you. 108 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,373 I don't know. I call old ladies cunts all the time. We all do. 109 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:01,909 -Right. -That's true. -No, she brings up a good point. 110 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,610 -We do. We do. -I called an old lady a cunt this morning. 111 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,979 -See? -Did you? Yeah. -I sure did. I sure did. 112 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,481 -No, I might've done it, too, actually. -Honestly, 113 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,016 for me this raises an even bigger concern. 114 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:09,917 Okay. What's that? 115 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,318 Dee had no right to give that trophy away. 116 00:04:12,351 --> 00:04:14,320 - I mean, we worked very, very hard on that. 117 00:04:14,353 --> 00:04:16,389 We did. It's not easy to make. 118 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,624 -Nobody wanted to do it. -Plus, she earned it, right? 119 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,325 -Yeah, you earned it. -And you earned it. 120 00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:20,961 And you're just gonna give it away? I mean... 121 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,963 Either way, this is all bullshit anyway, 122 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,331 because we're not having bad luck, we're having good luck. 123 00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:26,432 What about my egg? 124 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,968 You know what that might've been? 125 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,403 Y-You might've gotten cursed when you killed that seabird. 126 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,405 -What seabird? -Oh, I didn't tell you guys about this? Okay. 127 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:34,608 So, the other day, uh, Frank's making a banana daiquiri. 128 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,710 Seagull flies right into the bar. 129 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,344 -Cheers. -Yeah. Here you go. 130 00:04:38,377 --> 00:04:39,546 It's tasty. 131 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:41,682 -Oh, shit. -What? 132 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:42,950 A seagull. 133 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,350 Whoa. 134 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,489 Oh, a little birdie. 135 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,858 Oh, what a sweet little birdie. 136 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,861 You want some food? Want some? 137 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,529 Whoa! Shit, Frank! 138 00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:57,731 -Die! -Ah, Frank. Jesus. 139 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,900 Come here, you rat, die! 140 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,671 Ah! Goddamn! 141 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,775 And die, you fucking seagull. 142 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,811 Bitch. Fucking cunt. 143 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,714 Well, it's bad luck if a seabird flies into a building. 144 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,314 No, dude. It's bad luck to kill a seabird. 145 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,817 Every sailor knows that. 146 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:17,918 I don't sail. 147 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,086 Charlie, will you stop trying to turn 148 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,588 our good fortune into bad fortune? 149 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,357 All this doom and gloom. Nobody is cursed. 150 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,926 Oh, really, Mac? Because I straight-up heard 151 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:26,994 Cricket curse you yesterday. 152 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,630 All right. It's time to make good 153 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,964 on your end of the bargain, Mac. 154 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,398 What are you talking about? I still need proof. 155 00:05:32,431 --> 00:05:33,834 Oh, come on, man. Don't start with that. 156 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,968 -We had-- -Cricket, what are you doing in here, man? 157 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,069 That's what I was just saying. 158 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,671 Cricket, what are you doing in here? 159 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,673 What? What-what-- No, we're-we're talking business. 160 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,341 Business? I'm not doing business with you, street trash. 161 00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,844 What is your deal, man? What-what... 162 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,444 One second you need me, the next I'm a pile of garbage? 163 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,648 -Is that what this is? -Cricket, beat it, man... 164 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,516 You better beat it or I'm gonna beat you with my shoe! 165 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,617 -You know what? -Get out of the bar, dude. 166 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:51,652 You know what? Screw you guys. 167 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,987 Oh. Hey, Mac. 168 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,388 A curse on you. 169 00:05:56,590 --> 00:06:00,027 Vos omnes maledicti mille annis. 170 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,598 I mean, he-he literally cursed you, man. 171 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:05,732 Now, guys, come on. We got to take this seriously. 172 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,734 Like, let's look at this. Like, uh, Frank. 173 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,368 Let-Let's do our homework on sailors' curses. 174 00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,572 Dee, Mac, go make your apologies. 175 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,473 I will do nothing of the sort. 176 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,708 In fact, I am done listening to this. 177 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,810 It's irritating, anti-God, 178 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:20,581 and most importantly will not make for good Bar Rescue banter. 179 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,715 I am leaving. 180 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,382 Come on, man! 181 00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:26,987 Charlie, how do you know all this curse... 182 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,657 -Stuff? -Yeah. 183 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,425 That-- I mean, look, maybe it's real, maybe it's not. 184 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,994 But, like, look at it this way. 185 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,762 Like, i-if a black cat crosses your path, 186 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,396 do you spit over your left shoulder? 187 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,431 -Uh-uh. -Why would I do that? 188 00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,466 -No. -You guys don't do that one? 189 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,634 I don't know what that is. 190 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:41,969 Well, I mean, like, when you're hopeful 191 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,470 for something, though, do you knock on wood? 192 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:44,905 -Oh, that one. No. No. -Nah... No. 193 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:45,906 I've heard of that one, but I don't do it. 194 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,174 Well, do you make a wish 195 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,675 when you blow out a damn candle? I mean... 196 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,477 -Of course we do. -Yes. -Ah, yes, that one I do. 197 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,745 -You know what I'm talking about. -Candles, yeah, I like that. 198 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:52,813 Well, 'cause I want my wishes to come true. 199 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,014 Okay. And why do you do it? 200 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,949 You do it just in case. 201 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:59,820 Just in case it's real, right? 202 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,521 And "just in case" is as good a reason 203 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,556 to believe in anything as any. 204 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,025 Hmm. 205 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,462 This is such a waste of time. 206 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:09,930 I got to call a doctor or something. 207 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:10,764 Oh, no, you definitely should. 208 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,065 I'm pretty sure you have Bell's palsy. 209 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,901 I, uh, I looked it up. 210 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,736 But first you got to apologize to your neighbor. 211 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,605 Yeah. Just in case? Hmm? 212 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,173 Just in ca-- No, no. 213 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,075 I don't believe in that bullshit. No. 214 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,644 She's got the trophy. I want to get the trophy back. 215 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,145 You had no right to give that to her. 216 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,445 I swear to God, if she doesn't have that thing, 217 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,215 -I'm gonna paralyze the other side of your face. -Oh, okay. 218 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,517 'Cause I want it. Come on, that's-that's crazy. 219 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,219 You-you have to be nominated for that. 220 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,956 Hello, um, you don't know me, 221 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,892 but I'm the brother of this horrible woman, 222 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,694 and she just wanted to come by and tell you 223 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,696 that she's very... 224 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,900 Uh, she-she feels-- She, uh... 225 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,702 Oh, what's the word? 226 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,103 To make better the feelings? 227 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,940 -"Sorry"? -Sorry. Yes. Goddamn. 228 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,975 Um... I don't know what that-- Yeah. 229 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,577 -Yeah. -Um, and also, she, um... 230 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,546 She gave you something, uh, a trophy, 231 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:00,948 and-and it was not hers to give. 232 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,549 Do-do you perhaps still have that? 233 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,851 -Yeah, I have it. I'll get it. -Yeah? Okay, great. 234 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,520 You know what? I got to look up some clinics, 235 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,721 'cause I really need a doctor to fix my face 236 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:08,789 before we're on TV. 237 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,558 -Uh-oh. -Hmm? 238 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,527 -Whoa. Did-did you see that? -What? 239 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,095 See what? 240 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,197 Uh, a black cat just ran out of her apartment. 241 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,166 -It just... -I didn't see a cat. 242 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,867 You kidding me? It ran right past us. 243 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:21,902 Well, that's not good. 244 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,537 -A black cat? -Yeah. 245 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,138 Well, shit. What'd Charlie say we were supposed to do 246 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,206 if we saw it? That's a bad omen. 247 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,108 Oh. 248 00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,210 Oh! 249 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,012 Uh-oh. I got you, didn't I? Sorry about that. 250 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,180 -Yes, you did. -Yeah. 251 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,247 Boy, that's a shame. 252 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:35,549 -Thank you for this, though. -Yeah. 253 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:38,085 Um, listen, um... Do you have a cat? 254 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,020 'Cause I think I just saw one run out of your apartment. 255 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,922 -A cat? -Yeah, yeah. A little black cat? 256 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,958 I had a little black cat. Her name was Maureen. 257 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,728 Whoa. 258 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,696 But she's been dead for years. 259 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,232 Huh. That's crazy. 260 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,201 I was, I was murdered to a woman named Maureen. 261 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,769 -Huh? -Huh? 262 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,170 No, I meant married. I'm sorry. 263 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,271 I was married to a woman named Maureen. 264 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,639 I-I... 265 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,742 That's so weird. I swear I saw a cat. 266 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:02,843 You know what? This place is full of cats. 267 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,011 Can we get out of here, please? 268 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,312 -Yeah, go. Go. -Okay. 269 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,848 And please keep the noise down at night. 270 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,683 Yeah. Okay, you got it, cunt. 271 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:13,987 Are you sure about this, Cricket? 272 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:15,722 Yeah, I'm sure about it, man. 273 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,157 I've been greasing the doormen of this building for years. 274 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,725 Chase Utley's back in town. 275 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,293 He's coming out of his apartment any second now. 276 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,562 Is it good intel? 'Cause I only got one good shot at this. 277 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,764 Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. What do I know? 278 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:24,898 I'm just a street rat, right? 279 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,700 I'm just trash. That's what you said. 280 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:27,801 -Okay, Cricks, I'll tell you... -You've got nothing for me. 281 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,036 I knew you were gonna be a little bit of 282 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,170 a bitch about this, so I did something nice. 283 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,840 -I got you a sixer. -You got that for me? 284 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,008 Yeah, I got a gift for you, buddy. 285 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,943 There's only four in here. 286 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,645 I drank two of 'em, of course. 287 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,580 Okay. All right. Well, thank you. 288 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,182 Oh, I'm gonna buy a six-pack and not drink two? 289 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,351 Well, yeah. That's kind of the kind thing to... 290 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,253 But I-- Look, um, thank you for the four. 291 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,220 If I'm being honest, I drank four. 292 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,855 Two of those are piss. 293 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,257 Because I was stuck in the van, and you were out... 294 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,459 You know what, I don't even care, frankly. 295 00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:53,727 -I'm just glad to have a beverage. -Yeah. All right. 296 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,062 All right, um... 297 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,863 Dominus espritu sanctum, okay? 298 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,099 -You're off. -What was that? 299 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,001 I was, uh, I was lifting the curse that I put on you. 300 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:04,104 Oh. Yeah, no, I don't believe in curses. 301 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,672 Yeah, that's anti-God, 302 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,374 and God is the reason that all things happen. 303 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,076 And speaking of things that happened, 304 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,078 I got to show you something, Cricks, 305 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,080 but you got to keep it a secret. 306 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,750 Something wrong with your dick? 307 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,852 -What? -Okay, I was waiting for this. 308 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,187 If it's your dick, though, I-I got to charge you for it. 309 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,321 I'm gonna tell you right now. 310 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,156 No. It's not my dick, Cricket. 311 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,257 Well, if-if you're gonna whip it out, uh, 312 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,159 we're on the clock. All right? 313 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,894 -I'm not whipping anything out! -There's a tiered system... 314 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,930 Look. This. 315 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,698 What? What is that? 316 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:34,101 It's a monkey paw, and I think it's good luck, 317 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,368 like a rabbit's foot or something like that, 318 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,770 'cause ever since I found it, 319 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,371 nothing but good things have happened. 320 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,073 Uh, sorry, I thought God was the reason 321 00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,008 that anything good happens, et cetera. 322 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:45,979 Well, no. God decides who the good things happen to 323 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,647 and then who he smites. 324 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,416 -You're not following. -I-I can't follow it. 325 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:50,551 -Cricket, I'm... -It makes literally no sense. 326 00:10:50,585 --> 00:10:53,120 -You got to pick a lane. -I don't even know why I even... 327 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,988 - Let's get this open. I'm feeling curious. - Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 328 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,189 Wait, that's-- there he is, there he is. Okay. 329 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,357 Let's go. 330 00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:00,660 Mr. Utley? 331 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,662 Mr. Utley? 332 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,831 Mr. Utley, a moment of your time, sir. 333 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,333 Mr. Utley? 334 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,201 Mr. Utley, hello? 335 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:11,371 Hello. Oh, hi. Hi, Mr. Utley. 336 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,273 Hey, uh, would you like an autograph? 337 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,709 Oh, no. That's a cl-- a classic, Mr. Utley. 338 00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:18,912 -I-It's me, Mac. -I don't know a Mac. 339 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,714 I wrote you a letter every week for the last ten years. 340 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,949 Did you not receive my letters? There was a video. 341 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,085 A video in response. Wait. 342 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,220 "Dear Mac, I feel like I can call you Mac 343 00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,122 "because you called me Chase. 344 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,992 "Thank you for the compliment on my hair. 345 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,293 "It's my fourth favorite thing after baseball, 346 00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:36,062 "running fast and my dad. 347 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,898 "I'm sorry your dad doesn't like you. 348 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,100 "Maybe you could become a better son. 349 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,902 "Meeting you and having a game of catch 350 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,970 "sounds like a lot of fun, but like I said, 351 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,474 "I'm really busy playing a lot of baseball for the Phillies. 352 00:11:46,507 --> 00:11:48,742 "I hope you have a good life. 353 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,044 "Fans like you make my life a 'grand slam.' 354 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,246 Your good friend, Chase." 355 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,115 -Wait, you're that Mac? -Yes. 356 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,451 I thought Mac was a little kid. 357 00:11:57,485 --> 00:12:00,020 Yes, there's a child. A child... 358 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,323 A child born unto me. Little Mac. 359 00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,991 -What? -He's Little Mac, I'm Big Mac, 360 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,026 and you shall have a catch with him. 361 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,360 Your hair, it's throwing me. 362 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,796 It's making me very nervous. 363 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,398 On the Dodgers, yes, you were the Silver Fox. 364 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,400 Philadelphia, you were just the Fox. 365 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,402 I don't know, man. I'm pretty busy. 366 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:19,005 Yes, we're all, we're all busy, but the boy is sick. 367 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,975 He's very sick. He's, he's dying. 368 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:25,312 He's got leukemia and you shall have a catch with him. 369 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,881 -Where's my car? -I'll tweet that you didn't. 370 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,349 I'm sorry. I threatened you. 371 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,817 Now I'm upset and so are you. 372 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:36,122 A catch, we shall have? Later today. 373 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,858 Okay. Maybe, but for, like, five minutes tops. 374 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,795 -Yes. Yes, yes. -I'm really busy. 375 00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:43,464 Mom? 376 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:45,932 Hey, can we pick your brain about something? 377 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:49,135 Oh, Charlie, I didn't think you could make it. 378 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:52,405 -Come on in. -Yeah, shit, I forgot it's Uncle Jack's birthday. 379 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,407 Come on in, Charlie. You can sit next to me. 380 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,977 Nah, I'm good. Uh, we'll come back later or something. 381 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,979 No, no, no, no, Charlie. I want a piece of cake. 382 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,380 -Come on. -Oh, do you? Oh, shit. 383 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,015 Okay, all right, all right. 384 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:05,118 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Jack ♪ 385 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:08,556 -♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ -Can we switch seats? 386 00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:10,558 Okay, make a wish. 387 00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:12,993 Oh, right, right, right. Okay, you and I hold hands. 388 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,295 -Nope. -Okay, ready? 389 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:16,930 All right. 390 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,932 -Oh! -Good. All right. Very good, very good. 391 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,300 Hey, you want to know my wish, Charlie? 392 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,402 -Sure don't, pal. -Ooh, don't tell him your wish, 393 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,304 -it won't come true. -Yeah, there you go. 394 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,172 -Exactly. -I made a wish, too. 395 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,375 How about you and me go on upstairs with some cake, Bon? 396 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,243 Hey, Frank, you don't get a wish, okay? 397 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,911 - That's not how birthday candles work. 398 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,947 -Says who? -Uh, look, that's not why we're here! 399 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,549 Mom, Frank killed a seagull. 400 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,886 Hey, that's not good, Frank. 401 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,187 Yeah, we know it's not good, Uncle Jack. Okay? 402 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,922 That's why-- that's why we came here, all right? 403 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,924 Mom, now is that the kind of thing that could put, like, 404 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:48,228 -a curse on Frank? -Yes. 405 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:52,932 They say that a sailor's spirit lives on in the gulls, 406 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,368 and if you kill a gull, the sailor 407 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,937 can haunt you for the rest of its life. 408 00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,939 -No shit? -Yeah, well, is there anything we can do, 409 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,942 -or, like... -Well, you could slit Frank's throat 410 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:06,046 with a horn of a goat and drink a bowl of his blood. 411 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,515 What? 412 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:10,250 Well, uh, okay, yeah, maybe not, maybe not that. 413 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,585 Is, like, there anything else, or... 414 00:14:11,619 --> 00:14:13,153 Ooh! 415 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,056 He could behead the gull and wear its skull 416 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,559 around his neck for the rest of his life. 417 00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:19,926 Mom, that's not gonna work, 'cause we don't have 418 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,529 -the gull anymore. -Yeah, we do. 419 00:14:21,562 --> 00:14:23,163 It's at the bar. 420 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,598 -What? It is? -Mm, yeah. 421 00:14:24,632 --> 00:14:26,166 I kicked it under one of the booths 422 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,635 so I didn't have to clean it up. 423 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,304 Okay, so you're telling me that you want to wear 424 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:34,074 a seagull skull around your neck for the rest of your life? 425 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,242 I don't know. Could be cool. 426 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,077 No, we're not doing that. That's crazy. 427 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,211 Mom, anything else? 428 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,581 You could give the seagull 429 00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,183 a proper burial. 430 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,286 What? Well, yeah, that one, Mom. That one. 431 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,456 Why didn't you lead off with that one in the first place? 432 00:14:48,489 --> 00:14:51,124 Well, sometimes you're at sea, Charlie, 433 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,226 and you wouldn't have that option. 434 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,161 Do I look like I'm at sea, Mom? 435 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,163 -I don't know. -You don't know if I'm at sea? 436 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,365 -Oh, okay. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. -You don't, uh-- Uncle Jack, 437 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,933 stop. Stop putting your hand on me. 438 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,103 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 439 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,305 What are you doing? 440 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,173 Looking for this. 441 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,275 What is it? 442 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,443 Maureen Ponderosa. 443 00:15:10,478 --> 00:15:11,978 -Well, why do you have that? -Well, I wanted to keep it 444 00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:14,515 as a-a-a... 445 00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:17,150 Oh, a trophy? From the murder. 446 00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,085 No, not a-- What? No, not a trophy. 447 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,688 I-- As-- I wanted... 448 00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:22,490 Like a souvenir f-from your victim. 449 00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:24,157 Not a souvenir, no. It's-it's, a... 450 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,926 It's a-- I wanted to keep it as a w-way to spite her. 451 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,328 Which one? Which one's it under? 452 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,397 -Uh, by the jukebox. Over here. -Oh-- Ah! 453 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,665 -Over here. -I see it, yeah. Let me get a trash bag. 454 00:15:31,699 --> 00:15:33,366 Eh. 455 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,102 -What the hell is that? -That's the gull Frank killed. 456 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,338 - All right. - What's that? 457 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,640 Oh, that's his dead wife. 458 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:41,408 -Yeah. -Looks like a trophy. 459 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,711 No, it's not a-a trophy, okay? 460 00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:45,378 The crazy bitch had it in her will that she wanted 461 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,681 to be buried in a pet cemetery, and I refused. 462 00:15:47,715 --> 00:15:49,416 Wait a second. 463 00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,284 You refused your wife's dying wishes 464 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,587 to be buried in a pet cemetery? Why would you do that? 465 00:15:53,621 --> 00:15:55,321 Because she's not a cat. 466 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,457 Yeah, but, dude, like, that's-that's the exact 467 00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:57,591 kind of thing that could lead to a curse. 468 00:15:57,625 --> 00:15:59,359 That... I know. 469 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,495 I-- Yes. Okay, I get that now. 470 00:16:01,529 --> 00:16:03,430 -This is bullshit, Cricket. -I don't know what you're so upset about. 471 00:16:03,464 --> 00:16:05,098 Y-You said get a kid. 472 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,001 I mean, his name on the street is literally "Kid." 473 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:10,103 -That's what he goes by. -He is a grown man. 474 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,673 I can be whatever you want me to be, champ. 475 00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:15,375 -I'll make your dreams come true. -Oh, he can. 476 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,477 -Would you make it-- Do a, do a turn. Do a spin. -Oh. 477 00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,513 There you go. Make it sexy. Let's go. 478 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,517 Yeah. 479 00:16:23,551 --> 00:16:24,984 Uh, move the bangs, put the bangs. 480 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,419 Show them your face, show them your face. 481 00:16:26,454 --> 00:16:29,155 -Yeah. Huh? -Hey. 482 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,658 -Get him out of here. -All right, yeah. You're gone. 483 00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:32,025 -Uh, here. Go. -Oh, yeah... 484 00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,259 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 485 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,294 Drugs? Mm. 486 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,497 No eyes. 487 00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:37,997 Okay. 488 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,199 It's all about respect. 489 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,668 Mac, what the hell is this? 490 00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:43,504 Um, I believe that Cricket is now a pimp, 491 00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:45,305 and that was his boy slut. 492 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,475 Uh, t-that's oversimplifying it. 493 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,610 But, uh, that's-that's it in a nutshell. 494 00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:51,044 No, we got that. He got, yeah, he means like... 495 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:53,413 Yes. I-I mean, what are you doing with Cricket? 496 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,648 No, he's got a monkey paw. 497 00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:57,217 Oh! Come on, Cricket. That's a secret. 498 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,118 Oh, I can't keep secret. Honestly, I'm so high, 499 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,654 I'm thinking about it, and I'm gonna go 500 00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:03,256 with him in the bathroom and finish up the-- Yeah. 501 00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,758 Mac, what's going on 502 00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:06,292 with the monkey paw? What is this? 503 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,461 You know how I've been chasing Chase Utley 504 00:17:07,495 --> 00:17:08,796 for years to have a catch? 505 00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:11,030 Well, I finally got to him and we were supposed 506 00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,634 to have a catch tomorrow with my "dying son." 507 00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,268 Cricket was gonna help me find one, 508 00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,505 -but he brought back a junkie. -Wait, wait, wait. 509 00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:20,139 You actually met Chase Utley? How'd you do that? 510 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,275 Well, ever since I found this monkey's paw, 511 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,210 my luck has totally turned around. 512 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,780 Well, actually, it wasn't just a paw. 513 00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:29,817 It was a whole monkey behind the kegs, and he was dead. 514 00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:32,118 He had this cash in his hand, and when I went 515 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,120 to grab the cash, the whole hand just, like, kind of popped out, 516 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:35,456 and I've been carrying it around ever since. 517 00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,423 Monkey in the bar, right? Totally random. 518 00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,425 Wha-- That-That's not random at all. 519 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:41,495 That's probably the monkey that worked here, 520 00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:43,396 - robbed us and fucked our faces. - -He got stuck behind the keg. 521 00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,398 - It's behind the kegs? - Well, actually, 522 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:47,267 I found him by the office, but I kicked him behind the kegs 523 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,202 because I didn't feel like cleaning him up. 524 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,604 -Oh! -Goddamn it! 525 00:17:50,638 --> 00:17:52,138 Well, he is decomposing 526 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,607 and there's also a shit-ton of mold back there. 527 00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:54,808 -Shit, now I smell it. -I don't know how I missed that. 528 00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:56,644 Okay, okay. 529 00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:58,378 I got a new fix, all right? I got a new fix for everything. 530 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,313 We're gonna take, uh, your wife, 531 00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:01,682 the gull and what's left of the monkey, 532 00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:03,551 and we're gonna bury them all in a pet cemetery. 533 00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:05,519 And Mac, you are gonna have a catch with Chase Utley, 534 00:18:05,553 --> 00:18:07,287 but not with your dying son. 535 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,456 -Why not? -'Cause he's already dead. 536 00:18:11,725 --> 00:18:13,326 I'm confused. 537 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,394 This is your son? 538 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,095 Oh, yes, Mr. Utley. 539 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,263 I didn't have the heart to tell you earlier. 540 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:20,266 He was only ten years old when he died. He's dead now. 541 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,135 Why is he buried at a pet cemetery? 542 00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:24,872 Dogs. He loved dogs. 543 00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,406 Okay, man. What is this? 544 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,374 What's going on? 545 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,445 I'm sorry, I... 546 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:35,716 Look, I know you're gonna think that this is crazy, 547 00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:38,151 but I-I found this monkey paw, 548 00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,887 and it's brought me really good luck. 549 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,556 And I know that you don't think superstitions are real, 550 00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:43,891 and that this is all ridiculous... 551 00:18:43,924 --> 00:18:45,593 Not real? Of course they're real. 552 00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:48,127 -What, really? -Yeah. 553 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,496 How do you think baseball players get out of their slumps? 554 00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,297 With superstitions. 555 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,734 'Cause what they believe influences their actions. 556 00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,301 But actions do have consequences. 557 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,838 Like lying, Mac. 558 00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,339 Why don't you hand over that monkey paw? 559 00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:03,477 You're right. 560 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,547 You're right, actions do have consequences, and I... 561 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,549 I'm really sorry, man, I think... 562 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,751 Hall of Fame, baby, here I come! 563 00:19:12,653 --> 00:19:15,154 What the hell was that all about? 564 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,324 I think Chase Utley just stole my monkey paw. 565 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,728 Oh. Well, then, maybe the curse has been lifted. 566 00:19:20,761 --> 00:19:23,162 -Oh. Right, yeah. -Uh, hey, guys? Um... 567 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,231 -Hmm? -Check this out. 568 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,868 Okay, so, apparently, um... 569 00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:30,504 temporary facial paralysis and brain fog 570 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,706 are all symptoms of exposure to high levels of mold. 571 00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:35,542 -Huh? -Oh... 572 00:19:35,576 --> 00:19:37,945 You know what? That might also explain the silverfish. 573 00:19:37,978 --> 00:19:39,345 Yeah, no, it does. Actually, it does. 574 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,581 They eat mold. 575 00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:41,649 -Huh? -And what about my egg? 576 00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:42,683 Well, is it possible, Frank, 577 00:19:42,716 --> 00:19:44,551 that that egg was a seagull egg? 578 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,855 -Oh... -That might've been, because, you know what, 579 00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:49,823 -we found some eggs... -And we... 580 00:19:49,857 --> 00:19:51,324 -And you might've mixed them up. -I might've swapped-- 581 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,893 -mixed them up. -Yeah, 'cause we had store eggs 582 00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:54,327 -and we had found eggs. -You did a flip-flop. 583 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,696 -You did a flip-flop. -Yeah, there you go. 584 00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:56,730 So, the-- so, there's no curse. 585 00:19:56,764 --> 00:19:58,832 Oh, no. Hold on a second. 586 00:19:58,866 --> 00:20:00,734 "Dear Mr. McDonald, we regret to inform you 587 00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:03,436 that we came by your bar and there was nobody there." 588 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,371 -Huh? -"After several failed attempts 589 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,675 "to reach you, we have decided to rescind our offer. 590 00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:10,544 We wish you the best of luck. Your friends at Bar Rescue." 591 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,779 Damn it. If I had that monkey paw, 592 00:20:11,812 --> 00:20:13,580 none of this would've happened. 593 00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:14,948 Yeah, so that means we are still cursed. 594 00:20:14,982 --> 00:20:15,916 -Oh, no. -Shit. -No, it doesn't, it doesn't! 595 00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:17,551 We're not-- There is no curse. 596 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,553 Okay? Mac, no, you were never lucky. 597 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,755 Okay? You just bombarded them both with mail. 598 00:20:21,789 --> 00:20:23,322 And you stalked Chase Utley for years. 599 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:26,460 We're not unlucky, okay? We're just the type of-- 600 00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,896 We're just the type of people to bury various animals 601 00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:31,397 and-and wives in a pet cemetery 602 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,232 when we know we should be at work. 603 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,902 -Oh, yeah. -Let's go back to the bar. 604 00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:36,970 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 605 00:20:37,004 --> 00:20:39,338 Uh, what about me? What about my luck? 606 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:42,943 I don't know, Cricks, I guess... there's no real explanation 607 00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:44,945 as to why bad things would happen to you. 608 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,980 -Yeah. -You know, it's just one of those things, Cricket. 609 00:20:47,014 --> 00:20:47,915 -That's life. That's life, sometimes. -Yeah, man. 610 00:20:47,948 --> 00:20:49,016 -It is what it is. -You got a dark cloud 611 00:20:49,049 --> 00:20:51,585 - following you around. - It is what it is. 612 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,252 - That's all there is to it. - -It is what it is. 613 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,521 - It is what it is. - Nice day.