1
00:00:03,524 --> 00:00:09,224
6:57, 6:58, 6:59. Seven minutes. Keep going, buddy.

2
00:00:09,297 --> 00:00:11,629
Frank, you seeing this? I'm working
on the chicken parts over here.

3
00:00:11,699 --> 00:00:13,929
Forget the chicken parts. Charlie is
about to shatter the world record...

4
00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:15,935
for holding his breath... he's up to seven minutes.

5
00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:19,461
Take the buns off the radiator. Forget the buns.
We are gonna be world famous after this.

6
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:21,474
Charlie, how you doing? I gotta breathe, man.

7
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,806
No, Charlie, don't breathe!
One more minute! Buns are gonna burn!

8
00:00:23,878 --> 00:00:25,812
Don't do that! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

9
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,474
Come on! Are you breathing? Of course I'm breathing!

10
00:00:28,549 --> 00:00:31,575
Well, you ruined it. We could have been famous.
We could have been famous.

11
00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:35,952
Come in! Hi. I... Oh, I'm, uh...

12
00:00:36,023 --> 00:00:38,423
What do you want, lady? Ow!

13
00:00:38,492 --> 00:00:41,984
Uh, my name is Betty Canuso, and I don't know if you heard...

14
00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:46,022
but a week ago, Eastern State Correctional
Facility was forced to release...

15
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:49,126
25% of its inmates due to overcrowding.

16
00:00:49,203 --> 00:00:53,367
Eastern State? That's where my dad is.
Maybe they let my dad out. Did they let my dad out?

17
00:00:53,441 --> 00:00:55,909
How would I know that?

18
00:00:55,977 --> 00:00:59,845
Listen, I'm here because of a man named
Wendell Albright, a registered sex offender.

19
00:00:59,914 --> 00:01:02,212
He's moved into this neighborhood. Yeah.

20
00:01:02,283 --> 00:01:05,047
I'm hoping by raising awareness we can
force him out of the neighborhood...

21
00:01:05,119 --> 00:01:07,883
and away from our children, you know,
once and for all. It's going on and on.

22
00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:10,788
Is there something that you need from us?
Because we're in the middle of something.

23
00:01:10,858 --> 00:01:12,849
Please post these flyers anywhere you can.

24
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,861
Okay, okay, okay. Yes, yes, yes.

25
00:01:14,929 --> 00:01:16,829
All right. Okay. Thank you for your time.

26
00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:19,695
Out. Get out. Get out. Some people have no sense...

27
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:24,204
of my personal boundaries and property.
Let's set the shit up again.

28
00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:26,899
Holy shit! What?

29
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:29,636
This dude looks just like Dennis.

30
00:02:03,678 --> 00:02:06,613
I do not look like this guy.

31
00:02:06,681 --> 00:02:09,206
Are you serious, dude? What are you guys talking about?

32
00:02:09,283 --> 00:02:12,116
He's, like, 40 years old. Oh, my God.
Look at his jaw. Look at his jawline.

33
00:02:12,186 --> 00:02:15,678
His jaw is exactly where I don't look like him.
His jaw is fat and it's...

34
00:02:15,756 --> 00:02:20,056
Go, like, this far back. I never go that far back.
When I do, it doesn't do that.

35
00:02:20,127 --> 00:02:22,618
I give you six to eight months before
you start looking exactly like that guy.

36
00:02:22,697 --> 00:02:25,029
That's crazy, man. There's no resemblance...

37
00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:31,630
Hello. Dad. They did let you out. Oh, my God.

38
00:02:31,706 --> 00:02:34,971
Don't touch me. Right. That's how it goes.
Hey, hey, come meet my friends.

39
00:02:35,042 --> 00:02:36,873
Guys, this is my dad. Well, Charlie you know.

40
00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:40,038
Hey, hey, man. Hey, by the way...

41
00:02:40,114 --> 00:02:43,447
real sorry about that whole heroin
incident in the butt, but here's the deal.

42
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:46,645
I had my butt filled like a Christmas stocking,
and I wanted to come...

43
00:02:46,721 --> 00:02:49,087
I got a little nervous, everything came flushing out of me.

44
00:02:49,156 --> 00:02:52,319
Wendell "Shorteyes." They let you out too, huh?

45
00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:55,954
What? No, I'm not Wendell "Shorteyes. " Didn't I stab you once?

46
00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:59,431
No, you never stabbed... Look, I'm not Wendell,
okay? I'm not a sexual child molester.

47
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,025
I'm Dennis Reynolds. I'm handsome and chiseled and...

48
00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:05,129
Now you got me thinking. I gotta go look in a mirror.

49
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:07,936
Dad, what are you gonna do now that you're out? I need a job.

50
00:03:08,008 --> 00:03:12,001
Well, tell you what. I just got an idea.
Bouncer. Welcome aboard, buddy.

51
00:03:12,079 --> 00:03:15,480
Right. Good thinking.

52
00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:17,608
Can I talk to you for a second, you guys?

53
00:03:17,685 --> 00:03:20,518
Oh, yeah. Dude, Dee, that guy really likes your hair.

54
00:03:20,588 --> 00:03:23,523
Yeah, he does. This is a very bad plan. What? Which one?

55
00:03:23,591 --> 00:03:26,424
This man should not work here. Why are you attacking us?

56
00:03:26,494 --> 00:03:30,430
This guy looks like he wants to eat me.
Has he ever eaten anybody that you know of?

57
00:03:30,498 --> 00:03:32,432
I don't think so.

58
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:36,095
No. But it'd be pretty cool if he did.
Yeah, that is really cool.

59
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:38,798
Think about the dedication you got
to put into eating a human body.

60
00:03:38,873 --> 00:03:41,137
If he's got that kind of commitment, imagine what...

61
00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:43,938
Son, where's the telephone? Do you have plans, Dad?

62
00:03:44,011 --> 00:03:47,447
'Cause I was thinking we could do some
father-son stuff. Have a catch. Talk.

63
00:03:47,515 --> 00:03:50,575
No, I'm not gonna do that. But I'll tell you what.

64
00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:56,021
Here's a list of, uh, all the people I, uh,
promised to visit after I got out of prison.

65
00:03:56,090 --> 00:04:00,550
Maybe you can drive me around,
help me take care of a few of 'em, hmm?

66
00:04:00,628 --> 00:04:02,892
Take care of a few of 'em? Okay, that sounds cool.

67
00:04:02,963 --> 00:04:06,455
You got a car? No. Dennis does, but he won't give me the keys.

68
00:04:06,534 --> 00:04:09,059
That won't be a problem.

69
00:04:10,638 --> 00:04:12,572
I do not want Mac's dad working at our bar.

70
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,473
I was looking in the mirror, and I gotta tell you,
looks pretty good in here.

71
00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:18,535
Jawline looks good... Are you listening to me?
I don't want to get eaten.

72
00:04:18,612 --> 00:04:21,206
Eaten? He eats people? That's awesome. That's not awesome.

73
00:04:21,282 --> 00:04:24,012
Why do you guys think that eating people is awesome? It just is.

74
00:04:24,084 --> 00:04:26,985
Asshole! What? Did you see that?

75
00:04:27,054 --> 00:04:29,079
Yeah, I saw that. Listen, I need your help, okay?

76
00:04:29,156 --> 00:04:32,387
You're part owner of the bar, and you're
probably the only person that Mac listens to...

77
00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:36,088
and I need you talk to him... Dee,
you're blowing this completely out of proportion.

78
00:04:36,163 --> 00:04:38,859
Mac's dad probably hasn't seen a woman in a very long time.

79
00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:41,197
And as soon as he comes across one that's actually attractive...

80
00:04:41,268 --> 00:04:45,034
he's gonna forget all about you,
just like every other man does. Why do you do that?

81
00:04:45,105 --> 00:04:47,403
Pervert! Dickhead!

82
00:04:47,474 --> 00:04:51,205
Pervert? Dickhead? Why are people
yelling at me in the streets, Dee?

83
00:04:51,278 --> 00:04:53,610
Could have something to do with that.

84
00:04:53,681 --> 00:04:55,672
What?

85
00:04:59,687 --> 00:05:01,882
That's gonna be a problem for me.

86
00:05:04,925 --> 00:05:08,759
Take the TV too. Frank! What the hell's going on in here, man?

87
00:05:08,829 --> 00:05:14,062
I'm leaving. It's been great,
but I got to get something more out of my life.

88
00:05:14,134 --> 00:05:16,034
Well, why are you taking all my shit?

89
00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:19,698
Well, it was really hard to tell whose was whose,
so I just decided to take everything.

90
00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:22,469
You don't ever use this. I use that all the time.

91
00:05:22,543 --> 00:05:25,535
It's like the only thing I use.
All right, slow down, Frank. Slow down.

92
00:05:25,613 --> 00:05:27,547
What the hell's this all about?

93
00:05:27,615 --> 00:05:31,483
Charlie, I need a woman. I need a woman
to cook for me and clean up after me...

94
00:05:31,552 --> 00:05:33,816
and somebody who'll do everything I say.

95
00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:35,913
That's just a maid. You want a maid? Yeah.

96
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:39,756
That's right. A maid. A maid I can bang.

97
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:42,762
Well, what the hell, man? I mean... What?

98
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:45,628
I thought we had a pretty sweet thing going on here. Am I wrong?

99
00:05:45,699 --> 00:05:50,500
We had a good deal going on. We hung out.
We... Breakin' records, eatin' chicken scraps.

100
00:05:50,571 --> 00:05:52,163
I know you're gonna miss me. Don't hug me!

101
00:05:52,239 --> 00:05:55,333
Get... Get out of my apartment.
Dude, I don't need you. No, wait, wait.

102
00:05:55,409 --> 00:05:57,502
You know what, dude? Before you go, remember one thing.

103
00:05:57,578 --> 00:06:02,777
We had about the sweetest life that two men can
have together, and you're walking out on that.

104
00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:05,148
Charlie, you're gonna have to deal with it. You know why?

105
00:06:05,219 --> 00:06:07,449
Because I need that bang maid.

106
00:06:07,521 --> 00:06:10,718
All right. But you're not gonna do
very well out there without this guy.

107
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:15,057
'Cause I may not be much, Frank, but, uh,
I think you'll find that I'm a pretty sweet deal...

108
00:06:15,129 --> 00:06:17,757
once you're out there on your own, and I'll tell you what else.

109
00:06:17,831 --> 00:06:20,265
You're not gonna find a bang maid, 'cause there's no such thing.

110
00:06:20,334 --> 00:06:24,703
I already did. Your mom. Goodbye.

111
00:06:32,579 --> 00:06:35,639
Okay, let's go.

112
00:06:35,716 --> 00:06:38,776
It's been about 30 minutes, Dad. What were you doing up there?

113
00:06:38,852 --> 00:06:43,482
Hmm? Oh, just, uh, keeping up with my, uh, correspondence.

114
00:06:43,557 --> 00:06:46,151
Oh, that sounds nice. How'd it go?

115
00:06:46,226 --> 00:06:49,889
Well, there was a bit of a struggle, but, uh...

116
00:06:49,964 --> 00:06:52,296
it turned out just fine. Oh, good.

117
00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:55,529
Good. So, um... Hey, I was thinking we could hang out, you know.

118
00:06:55,602 --> 00:06:57,627
I was thinking we could go on a double date.

119
00:06:57,705 --> 00:07:01,163
Go onto Match. Com, find us a couple
of hot ladies. What do you think?

120
00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:04,677
No. No. Okay. Ooh!

121
00:07:04,745 --> 00:07:08,340
We could go on a road trip.
Hey, Dad, let's go to Cooperstown, New York.

122
00:07:08,415 --> 00:07:11,441
I have always wanted to go to the
Baseball Hall of Fame with my dad.

123
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,351
Do you want to do that with me, Dad? Start the car.

124
00:07:14,421 --> 00:07:16,355
Okay.

125
00:07:16,423 --> 00:07:19,722
I'll start the car. That's fine. Um, just school me again here.

126
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:23,661
Is it the yellow one to the black one,
or is there orange involved?

127
00:07:23,731 --> 00:07:25,665
Red. Red. Just red.

128
00:07:25,733 --> 00:07:29,931
There we go. Teamwork, right? A little father-son teamwork.

129
00:07:31,338 --> 00:07:34,239
Okay, here we go. Put on your seat belt.

130
00:07:34,308 --> 00:07:36,742
Or don't. Here we go.

131
00:07:38,846 --> 00:07:40,780
It looks great. Stop fiddling with it.

132
00:07:40,848 --> 00:07:43,214
I know it looks great. I just want to make sure the glue holds.

133
00:07:43,283 --> 00:07:46,309
Remember, this is a twofold operation.
We want to prove that you're not Wendell Albright...

134
00:07:46,387 --> 00:07:49,015
but prove that you are a good guy. Good guy?

135
00:07:49,089 --> 00:07:51,887
Check. That comes naturally for me. Great. Now step one.

136
00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:54,587
This guy's a little paunchy,
right? You're not. You got a great body.

137
00:07:54,661 --> 00:07:58,097
But how are we supposed to see that with this
billowy shirt you got on? Pop that thing off.

138
00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:02,192
Whoa. Wait a second, Dee. I can't just pop my
shirt off in the middle of a park. You crazy?

139
00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:04,203
I feel like you're not using your head.

140
00:08:04,271 --> 00:08:08,401
What better way to differentiate you from this
fatty than by showing off this amazing body?

141
00:08:08,475 --> 00:08:12,468
There is an amazing body under this shirt.
I'm gonna pop the shirt off. I need to show it.

142
00:08:12,546 --> 00:08:17,040
This is what I'm thinking. You go over there
and put on a fitness clinic for these kids.

143
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:19,312
Show that you care about their physical body.

144
00:08:19,386 --> 00:08:22,150
I care about the kids. I would never
hurt the kids, but I care about them.

145
00:08:22,222 --> 00:08:24,156
Absolutely. I'm gonna go do that right now.

146
00:08:24,224 --> 00:08:27,887
Take a lap. Work those monkey bars.

147
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:32,764
Hey, fellas. Hi, there.

148
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:37,327
I am working with a program that
assimilates convicted child molesters...

149
00:08:37,404 --> 00:08:39,338
right back into your neighborhood.

150
00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:43,866
Kids, how you doing today? It's a beautiful,
sunny day, isn't it?

151
00:08:43,944 --> 00:08:47,141
Here, gather around for a second.
I want to talk to you kids about physical fitness.

152
00:08:47,214 --> 00:08:50,308
Now we're not responsible for making
sure these people are rehabilitated...

153
00:08:50,384 --> 00:08:54,286
but this guy's done his time and he
deserves a second chance, don't you think?

154
00:08:54,354 --> 00:08:57,949
That's him right over there talking to your kids.

155
00:09:00,027 --> 00:09:04,862
Yeah. Nice and high over that bar so you can work those muscles.

156
00:09:04,932 --> 00:09:08,265
'Cause you want your muscles to pop,
you understand? You see how these pecs, they're popping?

157
00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:11,361
Take a real close look at this body.
This body is chiseled. This body is...

158
00:09:11,438 --> 00:09:14,100
You guys have a great day.
Some people In society aren't very muscular.

159
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:16,108
You should notice the difference.

160
00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:18,804
Let me show you another hamstring stretch.
This is a real good one.

161
00:09:18,879 --> 00:09:21,177
You're gonna make your legs into a "V." Just like that.

162
00:09:21,248 --> 00:09:25,207
You're gonna put your hands together
and stretch out nice and low.

163
00:09:25,285 --> 00:09:28,482
Don't be afraid to stick your ass out.
That's not embarrassing. It's a good thing.

164
00:09:28,555 --> 00:09:32,389
Get those hamstrings nice and loose.
That's a real... Hey, pervert.

165
00:09:34,595 --> 00:09:37,029
Oh, shit.

166
00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:43,061
A dinner party? I don't think so.

167
00:09:43,138 --> 00:09:45,197
I'm telling you, Frank, it's gonna be awesome.

168
00:09:45,274 --> 00:09:48,937
Everybody's gonna be there. My mom, my dad, Charlie.

169
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:52,503
No, Mac, I don't think I'm ever gonna leave this place.

170
00:09:52,581 --> 00:09:57,644
Nail clippings on command. Massages and
hand jobs being thrown around like hotcakes.

171
00:09:57,719 --> 00:10:00,153
This is a party in your honor.

172
00:10:00,222 --> 00:10:02,816
We are celebrating your new relationship.

173
00:10:02,891 --> 00:10:05,519
Can I bring my bang maid?

174
00:10:05,594 --> 00:10:07,994
Of course, dude. You can bring anybody you want.

175
00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:12,192
Bonnie! Oh, uh, yes, Frank?

176
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:14,895
Stop making lasagna. We're goin' out tonight.

177
00:10:14,970 --> 00:10:18,406
Oh. Okay, Frank. She's in.

178
00:10:18,473 --> 00:10:21,067
All right, I'll see you tonight at 8:00. And the trap is set.

179
00:10:21,143 --> 00:10:23,077
Sweet, bro. What the hell are you doing?

180
00:10:23,145 --> 00:10:26,581
Siphoning boxed wine. Why?

181
00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:29,481
Why? Bro, this is the perfect plan, man.

182
00:10:29,551 --> 00:10:33,248
Dude, if we get your dad drunk enough,
he's gonna be able to see past your mother's looks...

183
00:10:33,322 --> 00:10:36,519
past her skin, all that eczema and shit.

184
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,651
He's gonna fall in love with her all over again, buddy.

185
00:10:38,727 --> 00:10:42,322
Now my mom, she gets so belligerent
and mean when she's drunk, dude...

186
00:10:42,397 --> 00:10:46,891
she's gonna drive Frank right back into my arms. Into your arms?

187
00:10:46,969 --> 00:10:50,234
Into my... Into my home. Into my futon and my house...

188
00:10:50,305 --> 00:10:52,865
I'm gonna have Frank back is what I'm trying to say, dude.

189
00:10:52,941 --> 00:10:55,205
Right. Where'd all these jars come from?

190
00:10:55,277 --> 00:10:58,110
I emptied out all the tomato sauce. Hmm.

191
00:10:58,180 --> 00:11:01,274
Seems to me like it'd be easier to
steal the box than jars of liquid.

192
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:05,343
No. No. The jars are... It's easier... You empty...

193
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:08,548
Where were you 10 minutes ago when I
was coming up with this plan, man?

194
00:11:10,492 --> 00:11:13,757
Okay, I helped you. In fact, I'm still helping you.

195
00:11:13,829 --> 00:11:16,627
I'm giving you ice for your broken face, so you call Mac now.

196
00:11:16,698 --> 00:11:18,859
What are you talking about? You helped me get my ass kicked.

197
00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:20,868
I'm starting to think you did that on purpose.

198
00:11:20,936 --> 00:11:22,870
What? Yeah.

199
00:11:22,938 --> 00:11:26,101
Oh, how dare you say it. You call Mac right now.

200
00:11:26,174 --> 00:11:28,108
No. I'm not calling Mac. No. I'm not calling Mac...

201
00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:30,337
because you're not helping me with this molester situation.

202
00:11:30,412 --> 00:11:34,314
I'm gonna call Mac's dad, tell him you're available,
that you were asking about him.

203
00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:36,943
All right, fine. I'll help you.
But then right afterwards, you're helping me.

204
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:39,783
Yeah. Yeah. Dick.

205
00:11:39,855 --> 00:11:42,255
Oh, Mom, you're gonna look so good for your date.

206
00:11:42,324 --> 00:11:44,622
All right, here we go.

207
00:11:44,693 --> 00:11:48,527
I think that should just about do it.

208
00:11:48,597 --> 00:11:50,565
What do you think?

209
00:11:50,632 --> 00:11:53,726
Can't see the TV.

210
00:11:53,802 --> 00:11:56,600
Right. I was thinking maybe you could
lay off the TV, just for an hour...

211
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,470
Can't see the TV. Mac, can I talk to you in here for a second?

212
00:11:59,541 --> 00:12:02,738
Yeah. I'll-I'll be right back, okay? Okay, what's up?

213
00:12:02,811 --> 00:12:05,245
Do me a favor, 'cause I'm really in the weeds here, bro.

214
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:08,977
I need you to take some of these spaghetti
sauce things with all the wine in them...

215
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:11,451
I need you to, like, empty all... What are you talking about?

216
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,148
I am trying to set the right mood in there. Are you kidding me?

217
00:12:14,222 --> 00:12:17,248
I'm the only one in here! I'm the only one cooking!
Is that my problem, Charlie?

218
00:12:17,326 --> 00:12:20,124
What if we have no ambience?
Do you have any idea what it takes to cook...

219
00:12:20,195 --> 00:12:22,288
Do you want flat ambience? Get out of my kitchen!

220
00:12:22,364 --> 00:12:24,127
Jesus Christ, Charlie. Jesus Christ. This is a disaster!

221
00:12:24,199 --> 00:12:29,466
This disaster's on your hands, not mine,
okay? Whoa! Dad. When did you get here?

222
00:12:29,538 --> 00:12:35,238
Shh. Right. Right. Oh, uh, surprise, Mom.

223
00:12:35,310 --> 00:12:40,441
Surprise! Yea! It's Dad. You guys haven't seen
each other in so long, huh? It's exciting.

224
00:12:40,515 --> 00:12:42,483
Right.

225
00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:44,610
Hey, Dad. Dad, doesn't Mom look pretty?

226
00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:46,620
No. Oh, boy.

227
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:49,748
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we go. Our guests have arrived.

228
00:12:49,825 --> 00:12:52,191
Oh, sorry. Almost, uh, touched you again.

229
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:56,663
Okay, guys, you guys ready? Are you ready? All right,
you look ready. Let's do it.

230
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:59,701
It's all happening. Hello. HI.

231
00:12:59,768 --> 00:13:01,633
Welcome. Welcome. Thank you.

232
00:13:01,703 --> 00:13:02,692
You look good. Thanks.

233
00:13:02,771 --> 00:13:04,796
Can I take your coats? Bonnie, coat.

234
00:13:04,873 --> 00:13:06,807
Oh. Sit.

235
00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:08,866
Love you. Mmm.

236
00:13:08,944 --> 00:13:10,878
Damn, dude. Harsh, right?

237
00:13:10,946 --> 00:13:14,677
Yeah. I think so too. The woman prefers to be treated like shit.

238
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,980
I ain't never seen anything like it in my life.

239
00:13:17,052 --> 00:13:21,352
Attention, everybody! Attention,
everyone! Your dinner is served.

240
00:13:21,423 --> 00:13:23,823
Ohh! Pipe down.

241
00:13:29,064 --> 00:13:31,692
This is, uh, delicious, Charlie.

242
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:36,568
Why, thank you, Mac. It's crap. Pure, unadulterated crap.

243
00:13:36,638 --> 00:13:38,868
Uh, Mother, how's yours?

244
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:42,535
Um...

245
00:13:42,611 --> 00:13:47,014
it's crap... pure, unadulterated crap.

246
00:13:47,082 --> 00:13:50,051
Well, I'm not surprised you're saying that,
considering I took a crap in yours.

247
00:13:50,118 --> 00:13:54,782
No, he didn't. He's joking. He's joking.
Charlie did not crap into anybody's food, okay?

248
00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:58,383
Mother, you might be wanting to have some more
of this turkey sangria, wash that crap down.

249
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:00,724
No. Bonnie. She doesn't want any more.

250
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,560
Shut up, Frank. You don't know what she
wants any more than she knows what you want.

251
00:14:03,632 --> 00:14:06,362
You know who knows what you want? I do.
I've always known what you want.

252
00:14:06,435 --> 00:14:09,199
And I can give you want you want.
Just let me give you what you want.

253
00:14:09,271 --> 00:14:12,069
I don't think so, Charlie. I don't think so.
Let's change the subject.

254
00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:17,339
Dad. Dad, maybe you want to regale us
with a story from prison or my childhood?

255
00:14:17,412 --> 00:14:20,779
Mmmmm. Oh, my. You were in prison?

256
00:14:20,849 --> 00:14:22,646
Yeah.

257
00:14:22,717 --> 00:14:26,175
That's very interesting, Luther. Now that you
and my mother are opening a dialogue here...

258
00:14:26,254 --> 00:14:29,223
I don't know if you've taken any time out
of your dinner to notice her ample breasts.

259
00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:30,690
What? Charlie.

260
00:14:30,759 --> 00:14:33,319
The man's been in prison a long time. He probably needs a woman.

261
00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:35,955
What you may or may not have known Is my mother happens to be...

262
00:14:36,031 --> 00:14:38,056
one hell of a whore of a man-stealing woman!

263
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:40,761
Charlie, that's just rude. What are you doing, Charlie?

264
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:44,829
It's okay, because my dad already has a woman,
Frank. Uh, you have Mom.

265
00:14:44,906 --> 00:14:47,067
She hates me. That's not true. That's not true.

266
00:14:47,142 --> 00:14:49,508
Mom, you don't hate Dad, do you? Oh, yeah.

267
00:14:49,578 --> 00:14:52,479
Damn it. Mother, I don't know if you know this or not...

268
00:14:52,547 --> 00:14:55,482
but Luther happens to be a very successful drug dealer. Oh.

269
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:58,951
This might appeal to the whore in you.
He happens to have beautiful blue eyes...

270
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,988
that just pop right out of his head.

271
00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:04,492
I don't blink. The man doesn't blink, Mom.
The man doesn't blink.

272
00:15:04,559 --> 00:15:07,323
Stay away from my bang maid.
Damn it, Frank! This isn't about them...

273
00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:10,193
Charlie... or Mac or anyone else...
this is about you and me, bro.

274
00:15:10,265 --> 00:15:13,996
This is about dudes living together, hanging out,
sharing their bed and their life...

275
00:15:14,069 --> 00:15:16,003
No. That's not what this is about! Yes!

276
00:15:16,071 --> 00:15:20,098
This is about people meeting back up
after many years and sparks flying...

277
00:15:20,175 --> 00:15:24,635
and families getting back together and raising
little boys so they can be happy again!

278
00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:27,307
Okay, happy boys! This is about happy boys!

279
00:15:27,382 --> 00:15:30,180
Bonnie, I'll call you sometime.

280
00:15:30,252 --> 00:15:32,948
No! Oh, that's it! That's it!

281
00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:36,548
Ah, it's on! You've ruined this, and I'll never forgive you.

282
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,855
We're out of here. I will never forgive you.

283
00:15:38,927 --> 00:15:40,827
Oh, come on. You'll forgive me.

284
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:45,390
Mmm! And the seed is planted.

285
00:15:47,469 --> 00:15:49,801
All right, listen, douche bag...

286
00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:52,305
apparently people think we look alike...
personally, I don't see it.

287
00:15:52,374 --> 00:15:57,869
Holy shit! No. Yeah, I see that.
We got the same eyes, same nose, same lips, same...

288
00:15:57,946 --> 00:15:59,538
And the chin. What are you doing?

289
00:15:59,614 --> 00:16:02,913
That's what it is. It's all in here is the same.
Same jawline and chin...

290
00:16:02,984 --> 00:16:05,145
But look at his whole neck parts.

291
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,983
Yeah, it's right in here. Mm-hmm. It's all there.

292
00:16:07,055 --> 00:16:09,751
What? Who are you here to help? But look at his-his...

293
00:16:09,824 --> 00:16:12,554
I have a chiseled, noble... That's not the point.

294
00:16:12,627 --> 00:16:15,721
The point is you got to leave so I can
live my life in peace. Listen, pal.

295
00:16:15,797 --> 00:16:19,733
This is a pretty sweet situation I got going here.
You're out there looking like me...

296
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:23,430
taking all my heat while I'm in here
watching the Disney channel all day long.

297
00:16:23,505 --> 00:16:25,439
Why the hell would I move?

298
00:16:25,507 --> 00:16:29,807
We were afraid it might come to that.
Timmy, could you come out here for a second?

299
00:16:29,878 --> 00:16:35,373
Timmy, will you recite for our husky friend
here the little courtroom speech we prepared.

300
00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:37,384
I have a friend. His name Is Wendell.

301
00:16:37,452 --> 00:16:40,046
He showed me funny movies with fully naked people in them.

302
00:16:40,121 --> 00:16:43,284
He gives me juice boxes that make me sleepy.

303
00:16:43,358 --> 00:16:46,953
All right, I get it. He's silly. He's a tickle monster.

304
00:16:47,028 --> 00:16:48,791
Listen, kid, I said I get it, okay?

305
00:16:48,863 --> 00:16:52,890
He makes me taste things I don't want to.
He puts things in my heinie.

306
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:55,766
Goddamn it! Will you make the kid stop, please? Come on.

307
00:16:55,837 --> 00:16:58,965
I think that ought to do it. Yeah.
That's good, Timmy. So you'll leave?

308
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:03,101
Yeah, I'll leave.

309
00:17:06,681 --> 00:17:08,615
Lady

310
00:17:08,683 --> 00:17:13,484
When you're with me I'm smiling

311
00:17:13,555 --> 00:17:15,489
Give me

312
00:17:15,557 --> 00:17:17,491
Whoaoaoa All your love

313
00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:20,892
So I say that went very well.
Didn't you think it went well? Shut up, Charlie.

314
00:17:20,962 --> 00:17:24,420
Hey, hey, hey. I agree with Charlie. I thought it was nice.

315
00:17:24,499 --> 00:17:26,433
Hey, pull over. Pull over. Here?

316
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:30,130
Yeah, yeah. What, do you have another
name on your correspondence list?

317
00:17:30,205 --> 00:17:34,642
Yeah. Okay, you two, stay right here.

318
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:38,668
This one shouldn't take long.

319
00:17:40,815 --> 00:17:42,749
Bro, can I talk to you for one second? Yeah.

320
00:17:42,817 --> 00:17:44,512
What the hell's up with that? It's weird. I don't know.

321
00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:47,111
This shiteating behavior.
He's been acting very weird about this list.

322
00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:50,123
What's up with this correspondence list? Who are these people?

323
00:17:50,191 --> 00:17:53,319
Judge Hatcher. District Attorney Andrews. Warden Phillips. What?

324
00:17:53,395 --> 00:17:55,955
I think he's killing those people. Charlie.

325
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,659
Holy shit! He's killing... He's probably eating them too, dude.

326
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:01,463
And although I think eating people
is very cool, not if we're involved.

327
00:18:01,536 --> 00:18:04,403
No, Charlie, he is not killing anybody, okay? We're accomplices.

328
00:18:04,472 --> 00:18:09,000
No, we are not. He told me these are people from his past,
and he's got to take care of them.

329
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,705
And once he takes care of them, he's gonna take care of me.

330
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,714
Oh, my God!

331
00:18:13,782 --> 00:18:16,945
Wait, that doesn't sound good.
No, that doesn't sound good at all for you, bro.

332
00:18:17,018 --> 00:18:19,748
I'm on the list, of course, and then... Uhoh. What?

333
00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:21,311
Number 12. What?

334
00:18:21,389 --> 00:18:22,515
Charlie. What?

335
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,887
Charlie. Why am I on there?

336
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:25,949
I don't know. I don't belong on there! That's bullshit!

337
00:18:26,027 --> 00:18:28,018
You don't put a man on a list! Rip it off!

338
00:18:28,096 --> 00:18:30,326
You think he memorized it?
Of course he memorized it. That's pointless.

339
00:18:30,398 --> 00:18:33,162
Okay, I... What's this about? Why am I on the list?

340
00:18:33,234 --> 00:18:35,293
Charlie... It's the heroin thing.

341
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,463
Remember when he asked us to put heroin in our butts... Yes.

342
00:18:37,539 --> 00:18:39,473
And smuggle it into prison and we didn't do it?

343
00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:42,738
Now he's all hot and bothered 'cause we don't
give him heroin? We don't put it in our butts?

344
00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:46,338
You don't do that! You don't eat someone
'cause they don't have heroin in their ass!

345
00:18:46,414 --> 00:18:48,382
Let's get out of here.

346
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:50,509
Hold on! Calm down, Charlie! Red to red! Red to red!

347
00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:52,985
Are you sure it's red to red? Am I sure it's red to red?

348
00:18:53,054 --> 00:18:54,988
You hold this one! I'm freakin' out! Red to red!

349
00:18:55,056 --> 00:18:57,251
Red to red! I can do it, right?

350
00:18:57,325 --> 00:18:59,691
Lady Let's go!

351
00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:02,252
Of the morning

352
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,927
What can I do you for? We need to talk.

353
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:11,164
What is going on in here?

354
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:13,434
Just laying low and breaking world records.

355
00:19:13,508 --> 00:19:16,068
Don't even think about breathing, bitch.
All right, so here's the deal.

356
00:19:16,144 --> 00:19:18,339
Got rid of that child molester. The sexual predator guy?

357
00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:21,246
Yeah, he's gone. He's out of the situation,
so my problems are solved.

358
00:19:21,316 --> 00:19:24,046
You had a thing too, right? Mac's dad.
I want your dad out of the bar.

359
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,746
Great. Me too. Really?

360
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,344
I'm pretty sure he wants to kill me, actually.

361
00:19:27,422 --> 00:19:29,356
Why would your dad want to kill you?

362
00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:32,291
Not sure. But we've been driving around in your car.
He's got this list of names.

363
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,294
He's been checking them off... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Walt a second.

364
00:19:34,362 --> 00:19:36,853
You've been driving around in my car?

365
00:19:36,931 --> 00:19:40,025
Uh, my dad made me steal it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude.

366
00:19:40,101 --> 00:19:43,002
That son of a bitch. He's a dangerous man,
and I don't want him in the bar anymore.

367
00:19:43,071 --> 00:19:44,436
Okay. Are you kidding me?

368
00:19:44,506 --> 00:19:47,771
Dee, that's final! Don't argue with me! Mac, call the police.

369
00:19:47,842 --> 00:19:53,439
Goodbye. Goodbye. Luther, I'll wait for you.

370
00:19:53,515 --> 00:19:55,710
Oh. Okay, Mom. Mom, are you okay? Are you okay?

371
00:19:55,784 --> 00:19:58,048
Oh, Charlie, they're taking him away.

372
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:02,249
They're taking away my Luther. Mom,
I was... Mom! Mom, sorry. Can you listen to me?

373
00:20:02,323 --> 00:20:05,121
Don't ever take Frank from me again!
He's mine now! I got him back, so...

374
00:20:05,193 --> 00:20:08,424
What? Officer. Officer, we know everything.

375
00:20:08,496 --> 00:20:11,465
What are you talking about? We're the ones that
called you. That's my dad you're arresting.

376
00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,763
He's been killing all the people on this list. Oh, yeah.

377
00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:17,168
We looked into all that already. He wasn't killing those people.

378
00:20:17,238 --> 00:20:20,264
In fact, everybody on that list spoke very highly of him.

379
00:20:20,341 --> 00:20:21,899
Spoke highly of him? What?

380
00:20:21,976 --> 00:20:24,945
Yeah. Apparently, he was making
amends with all the people he wronged.

381
00:20:25,013 --> 00:20:27,447
Then if he hasn't been killing anybody,
why are you arresting him?

382
00:20:27,515 --> 00:20:29,540
Because he violated his parole.

383
00:20:29,617 --> 00:20:33,246
He's not supposed to leave the state and
we caught him buying three airline tickets.

384
00:20:33,321 --> 00:20:35,585
To where? Cooperstown, New York.

385
00:20:35,657 --> 00:20:39,423
Said he was gonna take some guy named
Mac and some guy named Charlie.

386
00:20:39,494 --> 00:20:41,462
Oh. You guys have a good one, huh?

387
00:20:41,529 --> 00:20:45,932
Yeah. Oh, my God. Dad.

388
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,869
Dad! Dad, you did want to take me to the Hall of Fame.

389
00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:53,464
Well, I wanted it to be a surprise.

390
00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:56,374
It is a surprise. It's a huge surprise, Dad.

391
00:20:56,444 --> 00:20:59,641
And I wanted Charlie to know there were
no hard feelings about that whole...

392
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:01,648
you know, heroin thing.

393
00:21:01,716 --> 00:21:04,014
Ohh. Oh, my God, Dad.

394
00:21:04,085 --> 00:21:06,645
I am so sorry for ratting you out and turning you in.

395
00:21:06,721 --> 00:21:10,282
You weren't gonna kill me. Of course you
weren't gonna kill me. I'm your son.

396
00:21:10,358 --> 00:21:13,794
No, I wasn't gonna kill you.

397
00:21:13,862 --> 00:21:16,057
But I'm going to now.

398
00:21:17,632 --> 00:21:20,863
Huh? Yeah.

399
00:21:20,935 --> 00:21:24,962
As soon as I get out, I'm gonna kill you.

400
00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:27,974
See you, Son.

401
00:21:28,042 --> 00:21:30,476
See you real soon.

402
00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,515
Lady

403
00:21:38,586 --> 00:21:42,784
Of the morning

404
00:21:42,857 --> 00:21:45,553
Love shines

405
00:21:45,627 --> 00:21:49,791
In your eyes

406
00:21:49,864 --> 00:21:52,355
Sparkling

407
00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:55,664
Clear and lovely

408
00:21:55,737 --> 00:22:00,174
You're my lady

409
00:22:00,241 --> 00:22:02,175
Lady

410
00:22:02,243 --> 00:22:06,680
Turns me on when I'm lonely

411
00:22:06,748 --> 00:22:09,717
Show me Whoaoaoa