1 00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:03,854 Okay, now put your arms back. 2 00:00:03,954 --> 00:00:05,923 You're like a... you're like a rocket ship, okay? 3 00:00:06,023 --> 00:00:07,092 Now left. 4 00:00:07,192 --> 00:00:09,594 Now right. Now left. Now right. Now go lower. 5 00:00:09,694 --> 00:00:11,696 - Oh, come on. Come... - Can you guys go lower? 6 00:00:11,729 --> 00:00:13,598 Dennis, is this really necessary? 7 00:00:13,698 --> 00:00:15,866 Mac, you have the tendon dexterity of a sow, 8 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,103 so yes, it's necessary. Guys, we're about to embark 9 00:00:18,203 --> 00:00:20,905 on the most important 24 hours of our lives here. 10 00:00:21,005 --> 00:00:23,007 Okay, it's important to stay limber and loose. 11 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,409 Uh, yes. Very good, Charlie. 12 00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:26,911 - Can we just start? - No, we can't just start, okay? 13 00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:28,779 Preparation is the key to victory. 14 00:00:28,813 --> 00:00:30,415 - Oh. - Yes, Charlie. 15 00:00:30,515 --> 00:00:31,649 You're really nailing this today. 16 00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:33,017 I got my eye on you. Okay. 17 00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:35,353 Now, does everybody know what they're supposed to do? 18 00:00:35,386 --> 00:00:37,755 Yes. Dennis, I know exactly what you told us to do. 19 00:00:37,855 --> 00:00:39,357 I've memorized it. I know where to be 20 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:40,891 and when to be at all times. 21 00:00:40,991 --> 00:00:42,293 Okay, good. Yeah. 22 00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:43,761 Needy and desperate for approval, 23 00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:45,430 but, uh, good. Charlie. 24 00:00:46,124 --> 00:00:47,131 Now look at that. You see that? 25 00:00:47,151 --> 00:00:49,567 With one little gesture, he tells me everything I need to know. 26 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,736 That wordless display of confidence earns my confidence. 27 00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:53,371 Don't. I did it already. 28 00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:54,605 You're so desperate. 29 00:00:54,705 --> 00:00:56,941 - I thought it was cool. - Okay, now, listen. Guys, guys. 30 00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:59,310 We have exactly one day to pull this off, 31 00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:02,247 so everything needs to be executed to absolute perfection. 32 00:01:02,347 --> 00:01:06,284 And, gentlemen, if we do that, well, the world is our oyster. 33 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,018 Don't say "oyster." Say "clam." 34 00:01:08,932 --> 00:01:10,155 - The world's our clam? - Yeah. 35 00:01:10,188 --> 00:01:11,822 - I like clams better. - You like clams? Well, 36 00:01:11,922 --> 00:01:13,824 - that doesn't sound very good. - They're both shellfish, 37 00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:15,826 - so it's kind of the same, isn't it? - Yeah. One's disgusting, 38 00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:18,196 - and one's delicious. - Yeah, okay. 39 00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:20,165 - I personally prefer barnacles. You know what I mean? - Oh. 40 00:01:20,198 --> 00:01:21,466 - Yeah, there's some meat in there. - I like abalone. 41 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:22,467 - Well, okay, guys. - Abalone's interesting. 42 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,034 - I'm a clam person. - Seagulls... 43 00:01:24,135 --> 00:01:25,170 - Oh, mussels. What about mussels? - All right, guys. 44 00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:27,172 Let's not get into a whole thing. We're getting derailed, okay? Uh... 45 00:01:27,272 --> 00:01:28,506 We can spend the whole day talking 46 00:01:28,539 --> 00:01:30,508 about which shell creatures we do or don't prefer 47 00:01:30,608 --> 00:01:31,842 or enjoy at any given moment. 48 00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:33,110 That's not what we're doing here. 49 00:01:33,211 --> 00:01:34,545 Okay, look, we put in the work. 50 00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:37,548 Right? We're ready. We've done our dry run. 51 00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:38,983 And if we put our minds to it, 52 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,187 nothing, absolutely nothing can stand in our way. 53 00:01:42,287 --> 00:01:43,988 - World is our clam. - Bring it in, boys. - DEE: Oh! 54 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,023 ♪ Uh, Dee is in the house ♪ 55 00:01:46,123 --> 00:01:48,058 ♪ Uh, Dee is in the house, uh, Dee is in the house ♪ 56 00:01:48,159 --> 00:01:49,694 ♪ Uh, Dee is in the house. ♪ 57 00:01:49,727 --> 00:01:50,861 - First things first, we got to ditch Dee. - Oh, shit. 58 00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:51,862 - Yeah, let's ditch her. - Guys, 59 00:01:51,962 --> 00:01:54,031 I am so excited to get started. 60 00:01:54,131 --> 00:01:55,366 Get started on what? 61 00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:57,668 Oh, my God. You forgot. 62 00:01:57,768 --> 00:02:00,171 Oh, that makes it so much better. 63 00:02:00,271 --> 00:02:01,506 Oh, guys. 64 00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:04,041 From noon today until noon tomorrow, 65 00:02:04,141 --> 00:02:05,710 it's Dee Day. 66 00:02:05,810 --> 00:02:07,011 - What? - Oh, my God. 67 00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,145 - No. - I completely forgot. - Oh, shit. 68 00:02:08,179 --> 00:02:09,314 - No, I... - No, wait, wait, wait. 69 00:02:09,347 --> 00:02:11,015 I know, I know. See, we did all your days, 70 00:02:11,115 --> 00:02:12,350 and now it's my turn. 71 00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:14,252 So that means, for the next 24 hours, 72 00:02:14,352 --> 00:02:16,086 you got to do everything I tell you to do, 73 00:02:16,187 --> 00:02:17,422 and you got to listen to me. 74 00:02:17,522 --> 00:02:19,757 And you can't complain, otherwise you're gonna get 75 00:02:19,857 --> 00:02:20,886 one of these. 76 00:02:21,987 --> 00:02:23,428 And I tack another day on. 77 00:02:23,528 --> 00:02:25,196 - Dee, please, please don't do this to us. - Oh, you better 78 00:02:25,296 --> 00:02:27,097 cram your insults in now while you got... 79 00:02:27,198 --> 00:02:28,766 oh, few more seconds left, guys. 80 00:02:28,866 --> 00:02:30,000 You... 81 00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:31,245 Dee's a bird! 82 00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:34,038 - Dee Day begins in three... - Dee's a bird! You're a bird! 83 00:02:34,138 --> 00:02:35,406 - ...two... - You're a bird! - I hate you, bird! 84 00:02:35,506 --> 00:02:36,541 - You're a stupid...! - ...one. 85 00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:41,512 _ 86 00:03:01,827 --> 00:03:05,035 As we all know, you guys just love to talk and talk about 87 00:03:05,135 --> 00:03:08,105 why men this and why God that and on and on and on and on. 88 00:03:08,205 --> 00:03:10,775 And I-I can't even begin to count the number 89 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,110 of pointless monologues I've been forced to sit through. 90 00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:15,179 But not today. Today, it's you 91 00:03:15,212 --> 00:03:17,315 who will be forced to sit and just listen. 92 00:03:17,415 --> 00:03:18,983 And my first topic? 93 00:03:19,859 --> 00:03:21,085 My feelings. 94 00:03:21,185 --> 00:03:22,753 - That's fair. - Yeah, I'm into it. - Thank you. 95 00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:24,088 - I'm excited. - Thought you would be. 96 00:03:24,188 --> 00:03:25,823 Now, when I wake up in the morning, I feel sad. 97 00:03:25,923 --> 00:03:27,292 And I feel sad for a very long... 98 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,769 Today of all days, 99 00:03:28,859 --> 00:03:30,328 and now I'm being forced to listen to her feelings? 100 00:03:30,428 --> 00:03:32,663 I won't do it. And who cares about her feelings anyway? 101 00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:34,064 Nobody, that's who. 102 00:03:34,164 --> 00:03:36,667 What about my feelings? Now, that's interesting, okay? 103 00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:38,769 Plus, the plan. We can't afford to waste a second, 104 00:03:38,869 --> 00:03:40,705 and these pea-brains are probably forgetting their parts 105 00:03:40,738 --> 00:03:42,807 with every second that passes by. 106 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,209 Uh-oh. I'm forgetting my part of the plan 107 00:03:45,242 --> 00:03:46,811 with every second that goes by. 108 00:03:46,844 --> 00:03:48,513 Dennis is gonna yell at me again. 109 00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:51,015 Hey, why was Charlie outshining me earlier? 110 00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:52,350 I mean, what's that all about? 111 00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:54,285 It's like he wants something from Dennis. 112 00:03:54,385 --> 00:03:55,620 But what? 113 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,822 Attention? Love? 114 00:03:57,855 --> 00:03:59,924 Why'd he throw me that look? Does he want to replace me? 115 00:04:00,024 --> 00:04:03,093 Is that what's going on? What the hell does he want? 116 00:04:03,193 --> 00:04:04,695 I'm pretty sure Dennis has candy. 117 00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:06,331 I heard a crinkle in his pocket 118 00:04:06,431 --> 00:04:08,433 that sounded like the wrapper of a candy. 119 00:04:08,533 --> 00:04:10,167 I gave Mac a look to let him know 120 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,202 that I figured out Dennis has candy. 121 00:04:12,303 --> 00:04:14,204 Hopefully, if we nail this plan, 122 00:04:14,305 --> 00:04:16,106 he'll give us some candy. 123 00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:18,175 I want that candy. 124 00:04:18,275 --> 00:04:19,844 You know who eats raw shellfish? 125 00:04:19,944 --> 00:04:21,546 Seagulls, that's who. 126 00:04:21,646 --> 00:04:23,714 Clams you bake. Clams you fry. 127 00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:26,517 Pop a rubber band around them, stuff them full of bread, 128 00:04:26,617 --> 00:04:28,553 boil them shits for an hour. 129 00:04:28,653 --> 00:04:31,522 There's a million ways you can prepare a clam. 130 00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:34,058 "Make the world your clam." 131 00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:36,193 Just sounds better. 132 00:04:36,226 --> 00:04:37,662 And that, I believe, is the reason 133 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,497 for all of this toxic masculinity. 134 00:04:39,597 --> 00:04:41,499 - Would you agree? - Huh? 135 00:04:41,599 --> 00:04:43,000 - Yes. - Yeah. Well... - A-Absolutely. 136 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,535 - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah. Everything... - Absolutely. 137 00:04:44,635 --> 00:04:46,170 Everything you were saying, we were totally listening. 138 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,505 - That's totally true. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 139 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,074 Okay, cool. Um, I'm gonna go take a quick squirt 140 00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:51,509 'cause that beer just went right through me, 141 00:04:51,609 --> 00:04:53,243 and then we'll move on to the next thing. 142 00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:54,579 - Thanks, Dee. - Sounds fun. - All right, Dee. 143 00:04:54,679 --> 00:04:55,880 - Sounds fun. - Yeah, Dee, this is gonna be great. 144 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,181 - I'm looking forward to it. - This is really cool. 145 00:04:57,281 --> 00:04:58,516 - So excited. So excited. - I'm enjoying this a lot. 146 00:04:58,616 --> 00:04:59,684 Goddamn bird! 147 00:04:59,784 --> 00:05:01,085 - I'm gonna... - Where's the scream pillow? 148 00:05:01,185 --> 00:05:02,387 Yeah, yeah. No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 149 00:05:02,487 --> 00:05:04,221 Guys, wait. We can still pull this thing off. 150 00:05:04,321 --> 00:05:05,322 We can still pull this thing off. 151 00:05:05,356 --> 00:05:06,657 I-I just came up with another plan. 152 00:05:06,691 --> 00:05:08,092 It was actually based on what Dee just did. 153 00:05:08,192 --> 00:05:11,095 She just went to the bathroom. See, everybody's got to take a dump 154 00:05:11,195 --> 00:05:12,997 at least once in every 24-hour period. 155 00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:15,500 This got me thinking, right? So, at some point today, 156 00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:17,902 each and every one of us will have to take a shit, right? 157 00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:20,638 We're gonna have to go find a bathroom, and at that point, 158 00:05:20,671 --> 00:05:23,207 you will go and execute your part of the plan. 159 00:05:23,307 --> 00:05:24,742 - Sounds good. That's good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 160 00:05:24,842 --> 00:05:26,010 - See what I'm saying? All right. - Yeah, yeah. 161 00:05:26,043 --> 00:05:27,412 So, Charlie, now it is time 162 00:05:27,512 --> 00:05:29,547 - for you to take your shit. - Is there time? 163 00:05:29,647 --> 00:05:31,081 - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, great. Nice. 164 00:05:31,181 --> 00:05:33,150 And then, Charlie, go poop, and then we'll get started. 165 00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:34,719 What? No, that's not what he's talking about, Mac. 166 00:05:34,819 --> 00:05:36,086 What he means is that it's time for me 167 00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:37,422 to go to the school, break in 168 00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:39,223 using my old janitor's key, right? 169 00:05:39,323 --> 00:05:40,491 Go into the nurse's office, 170 00:05:40,525 --> 00:05:41,926 'cause he's probably still on his lunch break. 171 00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,227 Make the call. Call the valet. 172 00:05:43,327 --> 00:05:44,729 Let him know that his kid's "sick" 173 00:05:44,829 --> 00:05:47,197 and needs to be "picked up from school" ASAP. 174 00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:48,566 My man. With that kind of focus, 175 00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:50,200 we're gonna be able to pull this thing off. 176 00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,936 - Yes! - Way to go. - Yeah! And then when he's there, 177 00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:53,504 - that's when he poops. - Wrong! 178 00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:55,372 - Totally wrong. Just go, Charlie. Go. - Okay. 179 00:05:55,406 --> 00:05:56,941 A-And keep this kind of good focus in mind 180 00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:58,375 when it comes to what's inside your pants, 181 00:05:58,409 --> 00:05:59,844 'cause I want that, man. 182 00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:01,746 Okay. Yeah. All right, great. 183 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,014 - I want what's in your pants. - No, no. 184 00:06:04,048 --> 00:06:05,082 All right. 185 00:06:05,182 --> 00:06:07,251 Okay. Where's Charlie? 186 00:06:07,351 --> 00:06:08,819 He had to take a shit. 187 00:06:09,304 --> 00:06:10,455 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 188 00:06:10,488 --> 00:06:12,490 - And I, too, have to take a shit now, as well. - Oh, what? 189 00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:13,691 No. What, now? No. 190 00:06:13,724 --> 00:06:15,626 Well, make up your mind, or I-I do the horn. 191 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,595 - Okay. It is a bit of an emergency. - No, it isn't. 192 00:06:17,695 --> 00:06:19,430 He... You can, you can hold it. He's gonna hold it. 193 00:06:20,912 --> 00:06:23,834 Knock, knock, knock. Hey! How you doing, old Terry? 194 00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:25,269 Old buddy, old pal! 195 00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:27,805 Do I know you? 196 00:06:27,838 --> 00:06:30,140 Ah, come on, it's me! It's Charlie! Remember? 197 00:06:30,174 --> 00:06:32,477 I used to be the janitor here a few years back. 198 00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:34,679 Yeah, well, I got fired on account of a relationship 199 00:06:34,779 --> 00:06:36,647 I was having with a Juggalo child, you know. 200 00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:38,382 That's not the point. The point is though 201 00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:40,017 I got my old job back. 202 00:06:40,117 --> 00:06:42,352 I'm ready to have new relationships with the children. 203 00:06:42,453 --> 00:06:44,789 And in case you're wondering how I got in the building, 204 00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,491 that's how. 205 00:06:47,596 --> 00:06:49,159 Oh. 206 00:06:49,193 --> 00:06:50,495 Right. 207 00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:51,962 And if memory serves, 208 00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:54,031 you usually take your lunch break about now. 209 00:06:54,131 --> 00:06:56,166 So how about you pop on out, eat some lunch, 210 00:06:56,266 --> 00:06:57,668 and I'll clean up your office. 211 00:06:57,768 --> 00:06:59,837 Oh, uh, I ate already. 212 00:06:59,937 --> 00:07:01,105 Did you? 213 00:07:01,205 --> 00:07:02,707 Lunch is at noon. It's 12:30. 214 00:07:02,807 --> 00:07:04,341 Oh, yeah. Look at that there. 215 00:07:04,441 --> 00:07:06,544 You know what happened though, Terry, was I got a little 216 00:07:06,644 --> 00:07:08,513 held up on account of it being Dee Day and all. 217 00:07:08,613 --> 00:07:10,848 - It's not D-Day. - You know what? 218 00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:12,683 Actually, Terry, I should tell you this. 219 00:07:12,717 --> 00:07:15,853 Um, I saw some kids breaking in to your car outside. 220 00:07:15,886 --> 00:07:17,021 I ride a bike. 221 00:07:17,121 --> 00:07:18,355 Yeah. That's what I meant. 222 00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:20,190 They were breaking on in to your bicycle. 223 00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:22,527 Kicked it in half. Filled it with horse manure. 224 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,029 - Kind of a prank, I guess. - Yeah, I don't believe you. 225 00:07:25,062 --> 00:07:27,464 Well, only one way to find out. Better pop outside, take a peek. 226 00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,036 My bike is fine. 227 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:33,571 One step ahead of me, aren't you, Terry? 228 00:07:33,671 --> 00:07:35,005 Okay, you know what happened? 229 00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:37,007 Dee Day just threw everything off, okay? 230 00:07:37,107 --> 00:07:38,843 So I'm just gonna slide on in here. 231 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,377 Maybe I'm gonna make a little phone call. 232 00:07:40,477 --> 00:07:42,680 No big deal. And I'm not gonna make a phone call. 233 00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,682 I'll just have some candy, then. 234 00:07:44,782 --> 00:07:48,418 And I'm not gonna have any candy 'cause candy's for the kids. 235 00:07:48,519 --> 00:07:51,021 Terry, this has been an unfortunate, uh... 236 00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:53,390 Hey, can I use your phone and pretend to be you? 237 00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:54,692 No. 238 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,027 Okay. That's strike three on my, uh, count. 239 00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:58,863 Uh, I'm gonna fuck your bike up, Terry. 240 00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:08,338 - What the hell is this? - Charlie, you would not 241 00:08:08,372 --> 00:08:10,474 - believe what we're doing. - Oh, my God. What is that? 242 00:08:10,507 --> 00:08:13,010 Ladies just doing it for themselves. I'm just playing. 243 00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:14,545 - I'm Martina Martinez. - Oh, no. 244 00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:16,681 You don't have to do the accent anymore, Frank. You're offstage. 245 00:08:16,714 --> 00:08:19,016 - Oh, my God. This is so racist, right? - It's insanely racist. 246 00:08:19,049 --> 00:08:21,752 We didn't want to do it, but you know, Dee's humor is so lowbrow. 247 00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,020 Oh, my God. What is she...? 248 00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:24,689 Uh, she wants to do a whole retrospective 249 00:08:24,722 --> 00:08:26,056 of her stupid characters. 250 00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:27,391 - Wrote a play about it. - Her characters suck! 251 00:08:27,491 --> 00:08:28,525 - I know! - Her characters suck! 252 00:08:28,626 --> 00:08:29,994 Charlie, thank God you're here. 253 00:08:30,027 --> 00:08:31,395 - Go get into costume. We're up next. - Dennis. 254 00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:32,663 Oh, Dennis, uh, you're offstage, 255 00:08:32,697 --> 00:08:33,864 so y-you don't have to do the accent anymore. 256 00:08:33,898 --> 00:08:35,265 That's why you suck at everything, Maxie. 257 00:08:35,365 --> 00:08:37,067 I say if you're gonna do a racist stereotype, 258 00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:39,369 you best do it right. I mean, that's a bit much, but you know. 259 00:08:39,403 --> 00:08:41,405 - Oh, uh, where are we with the phone call? - Uh, no. 260 00:08:41,505 --> 00:08:43,040 I wasn't able to make it. I was not able to make the call, guys. 261 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,508 - What?! - I'm sorry. Okay, look. 262 00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:46,510 Here's what we'll do. I'll-I'll go to the valet myself, okay? 263 00:08:46,543 --> 00:08:48,212 I'll go to the restaurant. I'll get the key. 264 00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:49,914 I-I can make it work, Dennis, all right? Don't get mad. 265 00:08:50,014 --> 00:08:52,750 - Who's desperate now, Charlie? - Shut up, Mac, you racist! 266 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,952 I'm not racist! She's racist! She's the one that's racist! 267 00:08:54,985 --> 00:08:56,320 - She's making us do it. - Hey, turkeys! - Shh. Shh. 268 00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:57,922 - What's the holdup in there? - No, no, no, no. Goddamn it. 269 00:08:58,022 --> 00:08:59,724 Look, uh, you stay here, Charlie. 270 00:08:59,824 --> 00:09:02,559 Um, Mac, Frank, you go down there, okay? 271 00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,461 Um, you're not on again till the second act. 272 00:09:04,494 --> 00:09:06,496 - I won't let you down, Dennis. - Great. Go, go, go. 273 00:09:06,597 --> 00:09:07,998 - Go. - Go, go, go, go, go. 274 00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:09,900 - Oh, man. - Charlie. Charlie, go get into your costume. 275 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,736 - We got to learn a song. - What? A song? 276 00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:16,707 God. 277 00:09:16,741 --> 00:09:18,042 The glue on these teeth is insane. 278 00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:20,310 I would never be able to get them off and on in time. 279 00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:22,312 Ah, this makeup is making me sick. 280 00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:25,049 - I'm... I feel awful. - It's not the makeup, Frank. 281 00:09:25,082 --> 00:09:27,685 It's the bag of clams you made us stop before we came here. 282 00:09:27,785 --> 00:09:28,793 The clam is fine. 283 00:09:28,853 --> 00:09:30,220 If w-we got a bag of oysters, 284 00:09:30,254 --> 00:09:32,256 those would've made us really sick. 285 00:09:32,356 --> 00:09:33,624 Whatever, dude. Just focus, all right? 286 00:09:33,658 --> 00:09:35,159 The councilwoman's gonna be here any second. 287 00:09:35,192 --> 00:09:37,161 Yeah, well, what do we got to do now? 288 00:09:37,261 --> 00:09:38,829 Charlie screwed up the whole thing with the valet. 289 00:09:38,929 --> 00:09:40,497 Now how are we gonna get her keys? 290 00:09:40,597 --> 00:09:42,166 - All right, well, I got a plan. - What? 291 00:09:42,199 --> 00:09:44,501 Now, when the valet gets into the next car, 292 00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:45,836 I want you to go to your car, 293 00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:47,537 and I want you to ram him, all right? 294 00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:49,674 Nothing crazy, but it's got to be believable, all right? 295 00:09:49,707 --> 00:09:51,475 Then, I'll step in as the valet. 296 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,143 I'll get the councilwoman's keys. 297 00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:55,880 I'll go get a copy made. I'll be back here ASAP. 298 00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:57,848 I have, I have a suggestion. I mean, if you want... 299 00:09:57,882 --> 00:09:59,650 if you want it to be really believable... 300 00:09:59,684 --> 00:10:02,352 the car accident... then I think you should do it. 301 00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:06,691 I mean, I'm not saying out loud why you should be the one 302 00:10:06,724 --> 00:10:11,028 to have the car accident, but I think it would play much better. 303 00:10:11,128 --> 00:10:12,296 I do appreciate that you're working 304 00:10:12,396 --> 00:10:13,831 on your prejudices, Frank. I, too, am trying 305 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,565 to become a better man and... but I just... 306 00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:16,934 I-I-I really think that, unfortunately, 307 00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:18,703 - it is a better plan. - It's a good plan. 308 00:10:18,803 --> 00:10:20,805 So, uh, I'm just gonna go ahead and do that. 309 00:10:20,838 --> 00:10:22,172 Oh! Oh! 310 00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:23,841 Okay. Okay, he's coming. Oh, good. 311 00:10:23,941 --> 00:10:26,043 - You go get the keys. I'm gonna go do the acc... - Okay. 312 00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:29,046 - Are you okay? - I'm-I'm... I'm just so sick. 313 00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:30,696 This makeup is making me... 314 00:10:32,039 --> 00:10:33,317 Okay. 315 00:10:42,526 --> 00:10:43,994 Hello there. I'm the valet. 316 00:10:44,028 --> 00:10:45,207 I'll take your car. 317 00:10:45,329 --> 00:10:47,497 - Oh, are you okay? - Oh, yeah. 318 00:10:47,531 --> 00:10:50,234 I'm-I'm... I'm fine. I'm aces. It's just... 319 00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:53,037 It's just that I got a little skin thing going on. 320 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,505 But I-I... I may get sick, but it won't be clams. 321 00:10:55,539 --> 00:10:58,342 It won't be the clams, because if it was clams... 322 00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:01,178 ...clams and I was sick, it would be all over the pavement. 323 00:11:01,475 --> 00:11:02,880 Uh, uh, I'm sorry, but is there someone else 324 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,381 - that can take my car from me? - No. No. 325 00:11:04,481 --> 00:11:06,383 - He's gone. He had a car accident. - An accident? 326 00:11:06,483 --> 00:11:07,985 - Oh, my God. Oh, geez. - Yeah. 327 00:11:08,018 --> 00:11:10,054 - Oh. Oh. - Yeah, there it is. 328 00:11:10,154 --> 00:11:11,688 - That was it. Yeah. - God. Um... 329 00:11:14,491 --> 00:11:16,226 - It's not the clams! - Oh! Uh, yeah. 330 00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:18,395 I'm telling you, it can't be the clams! 331 00:11:18,495 --> 00:11:20,731 It don't make no sense! No, don't go. 332 00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:26,303 It's not the clams! 333 00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:29,373 ♪ For the love of God ♪ 334 00:11:29,473 --> 00:11:32,542 ♪ Paddy, don't you see? ♪ 335 00:11:32,642 --> 00:11:37,848 ♪ Your love is all I ever wanted to be... ♪ 336 00:11:37,882 --> 00:11:38,949 - "For me," idiot. - Uh... 337 00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:40,885 ♪ Wanted for me. ♪ 338 00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:42,286 Ha. 339 00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:44,288 Okay. Then you do the... 340 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,391 - Do we have to? - Yeah, I mean. Yeah. 341 00:11:47,491 --> 00:11:48,725 Well, I don't know. Did you want the horn? 342 00:11:51,996 --> 00:11:53,497 Let's just get it over with. 343 00:11:53,597 --> 00:11:55,565 Plant one on me, Covington! 344 00:11:55,665 --> 00:11:57,634 Goddamn it. Yeah. 345 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:01,422 Yeah. 346 00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:04,174 Yeah, I-I'm looking here in the script, 347 00:12:04,274 --> 00:12:05,810 and it says that they kiss, 348 00:12:05,843 --> 00:12:08,678 "with the quivering lips of two souls desperate 349 00:12:08,779 --> 00:12:10,948 to taste the juices of passion." 350 00:12:12,682 --> 00:12:14,618 Did that seem like that to you guys? 351 00:12:14,718 --> 00:12:17,387 - No. - No. 352 00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:20,024 No, me, neither. Okay. So do that, then. 353 00:12:20,357 --> 00:12:21,625 Gladly. 354 00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:28,165 ♪ My love ♪ 355 00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:35,005 ♪ There's only you in my life ♪ 356 00:12:35,039 --> 00:12:38,542 ♪ The only thing that's bright... ♪ 357 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,611 Yeah. 358 00:12:41,711 --> 00:12:43,013 Wow! 359 00:12:43,047 --> 00:12:44,614 Okay. 360 00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:48,018 Very nice. Way better than I was expecting. 361 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:51,621 Goddamn bitch. 362 00:12:53,223 --> 00:12:54,859 - Goddamn bitch. - She's sick is what she is. 363 00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:56,460 - Yeah, she's sick. - That's a sick person right there. 364 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,295 And I know we're supposed to be cool with this, 'cause, like, 365 00:12:58,395 --> 00:12:59,796 that's where society's headed, but I'm just... I'm not there. 366 00:12:59,897 --> 00:13:01,531 - I'm not saying it's not right. - I'm not ready. I'm not ready. 367 00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:03,000 I'm saying I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. 368 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,501 What did you eat? Why am I getting a weird taste... 369 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,603 I had cheese. I thought... Well, I wanted... 370 00:13:06,636 --> 00:13:08,038 Well, now you know how it feels. 371 00:13:08,138 --> 00:13:09,673 Oh, I don't want to taste your cheese. It's weird... 372 00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:10,908 Well, I didn't want to taste your cheese, either. 373 00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:15,179 - Hey. How'd it go with the valet? - We, uh, we struck out. 374 00:13:15,279 --> 00:13:17,314 - You what?! - No good... - Well, how are we gonna get 375 00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:18,382 in the woman's apartment without her key? 376 00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:19,583 We got to get in that apartment. 377 00:13:19,683 --> 00:13:21,018 We got to set that woman's clocks back. 378 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,686 - What's going on with him? - Clams. 379 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,354 - Where'd you get clams? - Did you eat bad clams, Frank? 380 00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:26,523 - No, don't. - Hey, guys. Ticktock back there! 381 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,858 All right, just go finish the goddamn show. 382 00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:29,593 - Yeah, by the way, she made us kiss. - Yeah. 383 00:13:29,693 --> 00:13:31,361 - She made us kiss. - I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. 384 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:32,429 All right, let's just get out there. 385 00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:33,864 I don't want to be doing this all week. 386 00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:36,233 - Hey, you guys really did kiss? - Yeah, but don't get excited. 387 00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,667 - That's not fair. - But we didn't like it. 388 00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,069 - Just go. - Dennis, you should come out with us. 389 00:13:39,169 --> 00:13:40,370 - No, no, no. - Get out! Just go and finish the show. 390 00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:43,073 - Finish the show, all right? - I'm not kissing you. 391 00:13:43,173 --> 00:13:44,231 Okay. 392 00:13:44,541 --> 00:13:47,411 So, in this scene, Martina enters Tammy's massage parlor 393 00:13:47,444 --> 00:13:49,413 looking for a full-body rubdown. 394 00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:51,415 - What?! - Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 395 00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:53,017 And like all great plays, 396 00:13:53,117 --> 00:13:55,552 this one is going to have a happy ending. 397 00:13:57,955 --> 00:13:59,023 Yeah, that was clams. 398 00:14:02,412 --> 00:14:05,495 Oh, nothing like a day of bird-watching. 399 00:14:05,529 --> 00:14:07,697 So peaceful. So relaxing. 400 00:14:07,797 --> 00:14:09,699 - Wouldn't you agree? - Huh? Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 401 00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:11,035 - Really calming. - And, yeah, it's, uh... 402 00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:12,736 - It's great. - Birds are m-majestical. 403 00:14:12,836 --> 00:14:14,171 Ooh, fun bird fact. 404 00:14:14,204 --> 00:14:16,706 The ostrich's eyes are bigger than its brain. 405 00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:19,043 - Huh. - Do you have any thoughts on that? 406 00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:20,710 - That's... cool. - Good. 407 00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:23,247 - Great bird. - It's a good bird. - Ostriches are good birds. 408 00:14:23,347 --> 00:14:25,682 Well, unfortunately, I have to take another piss. 409 00:14:25,715 --> 00:14:27,051 - I'll be back. - Okay. - Okay. 410 00:14:27,084 --> 00:14:28,452 See ya, Dee. We're just gonna look at... 411 00:14:28,552 --> 00:14:29,753 look for some more birds that we love. 412 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,121 - Yeah, we'll keep on, uh... - Yeah, just gonna... 413 00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:34,024 Oh, my God, I want to scream "bird," I want to scream "bird." 414 00:14:34,058 --> 00:14:35,692 - I want to scream, "Bird! Bird!" - That would be so good. 415 00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:37,427 - Do you want me to do it for you, Dennis? - No. 416 00:14:37,527 --> 00:14:39,263 Don't do it. She's probably hiding behind a tree. 417 00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:40,864 Yeah. What's going on with you? 418 00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:42,566 Why are you so off your game today? 419 00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,568 Well, I... Charlie has been outshining me all day, 420 00:14:44,668 --> 00:14:46,803 and I want to shine for you, Dennis, so I'm just... 421 00:14:46,836 --> 00:14:48,472 I haven't been outshining you. I was just throwing you looks 422 00:14:48,505 --> 00:14:51,075 because I wanted the candy, but I was gonna share it with you. 423 00:14:51,175 --> 00:14:53,710 - What candy? - Dennis has candy in his pocket. 424 00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,327 Okay, guys, can we get back to talking about the plan? 425 00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:57,147 - You have candy? - Look, w-we're getting off track here. 426 00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,582 - Dennis has candy? - I heard it crinkle. 427 00:14:58,682 --> 00:14:59,950 - Yeah, I want that candy, man. - Yes, I have candy. 428 00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:01,651 All right? Of course I have candy. 429 00:15:01,685 --> 00:15:03,187 I keep candy in my pocket sometimes 430 00:15:03,287 --> 00:15:04,721 so that I can get Charlie's focus. 431 00:15:04,754 --> 00:15:05,922 It was working like a charm, man. 432 00:15:06,023 --> 00:15:07,857 I was zoned in on everything you were saying. 433 00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:09,960 Yes, I know it was working; the whole goddamn thing was working 434 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,262 till Dee came through with this Dee Day bullshit. 435 00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:14,364 Are we gonna get the candy, or are you gonna keep it 436 00:15:14,464 --> 00:15:16,466 - in your pocket all day? - I'll have some candy. - Here's the candy. 437 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,168 - Yeah! Yes, I knew it. - Oh, oh, oh! I want... 438 00:15:18,268 --> 00:15:19,169 All right, all right. 439 00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:21,338 - Wow. - Children. Children. 440 00:15:21,371 --> 00:15:23,673 - Good candy, good candy. - This is good candy. 441 00:15:23,773 --> 00:15:24,841 I don't need the candy anymore anyway, 442 00:15:24,941 --> 00:15:26,010 'cause I have a backup plan. 443 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:27,711 We don't need the councilwoman's keys anymore 444 00:15:27,811 --> 00:15:29,813 to get into her house, because we have me. All right? 445 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,481 So I'll peel off. I'll go seduce her. 446 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,183 She'll invite me into her house, 447 00:15:33,217 --> 00:15:35,685 where I'll bang her as fast as I possibly can, and then, 448 00:15:35,719 --> 00:15:37,954 while she's cleaning up afterwards, I'll set all of her clocks back, 449 00:15:38,055 --> 00:15:40,224 causing her to sleep late and miss the boat, okay? 450 00:15:40,324 --> 00:15:41,691 So when Dee comes back, just tell her 451 00:15:41,725 --> 00:15:44,028 - I had to go take my shit. - Nice, man. All right. 452 00:15:44,128 --> 00:15:45,529 - Watch out! - Hey. 453 00:15:45,562 --> 00:15:47,831 - Hey. - Where you rushing off to? 454 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,866 - Oh, I-I got to take a shit. - Do ya? 455 00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:51,535 - Yeah. - Okay. I'll let you do that. 456 00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:53,170 - Okay. - But real quick first. 457 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,804 I wanted to do something with you. 458 00:15:54,838 --> 00:15:57,641 - I really have to shit, Dee. - Yeah, this'll be fast. 459 00:15:57,674 --> 00:15:59,543 - What is that? - Oh, these are makeup wipes. 460 00:15:59,643 --> 00:16:01,378 So that you can remove your makeup. 461 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:03,380 Makeup? 462 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,015 I'm not wearing any makeup. 463 00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,683 Then it won't be an issue. 464 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,154 I mean, I'm wearing a little bit of concealer. 465 00:16:10,187 --> 00:16:11,888 Is that what you're talking about having me remove? 466 00:16:11,988 --> 00:16:13,223 Well, I'm talking about the concealer, yes. 467 00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:14,824 But I'm talking about the rest of the makeup, 468 00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,660 the tape you have behind your jaw and your eyes. 469 00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:17,727 I'm talking about the hair paint. 470 00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:19,029 I'm talking about all of it. 471 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,570 What a nice restaurant this is, 472 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:29,206 filled with attractive, professional-looking people. 473 00:16:29,306 --> 00:16:31,508 You know what it is? It's the kind of place 474 00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:34,844 where you wouldn't want to stick out like a sore thumb. 475 00:16:34,878 --> 00:16:36,546 How are you liking it, Dennis? 476 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:39,349 Yes, very nice. 477 00:16:39,449 --> 00:16:40,850 - Yeah? - Yes. 478 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,553 Would you like to go introduce yourself to some ladies? 479 00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:46,223 No, uh, I-I'm okay. Uh, no. 480 00:16:46,323 --> 00:16:48,425 Okay. I'll go round some up and bring them to you. 481 00:16:48,525 --> 00:16:49,659 - No. - Yep. 482 00:16:49,693 --> 00:16:51,561 Hey, don't mind her, dude. 483 00:16:51,661 --> 00:16:52,696 Y-You look great. 484 00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:55,732 Holy shit. That's her. 485 00:16:55,832 --> 00:16:57,567 - Who? - The councilwoman. 486 00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:58,902 - She's right there. - Who? Right there? 487 00:16:59,002 --> 00:17:00,570 - Right there. That's her. - Right there? Oh, shit. 488 00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,872 - Oh, my God, this is incredible. What are the odds? - That's her, yeah. 489 00:17:02,906 --> 00:17:04,541 Dee has no idea how good this is for us. 490 00:17:04,641 --> 00:17:06,543 - Dennis, go do your thing. - This is great. 491 00:17:06,643 --> 00:17:08,545 No, I-I... 492 00:17:08,645 --> 00:17:10,214 - I can't. No. - Buddy, 493 00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:12,015 makeup or not, you are the Golden God. 494 00:17:12,048 --> 00:17:13,583 It's all about what's in here. 495 00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:15,952 Oh. Is your pec deflated? 496 00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:17,554 Sh-She took his pads out. 497 00:17:17,587 --> 00:17:19,123 - Yeah, he had... - Oh, your pec pads. 498 00:17:19,156 --> 00:17:21,325 - He had some pads. - No. 499 00:17:21,425 --> 00:17:24,128 Well, either way, man, you can do it. You're our only hope. 500 00:17:24,161 --> 00:17:25,362 - I can do this. - Yes. - Yeah. 501 00:17:25,395 --> 00:17:26,963 - Yeah, it's worth a shot. - Yeah! 502 00:17:26,996 --> 00:17:28,465 - That's the attitude. - Come on, man. - You're looking good. 503 00:17:28,498 --> 00:17:30,267 You got it. You got this. You got this. 504 00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:32,236 - You got this. You got this. - Go, go, go, go, go. 505 00:17:32,336 --> 00:17:34,604 - He ain't got this. - That's what his soul looks like. 506 00:17:45,615 --> 00:17:46,983 Hi. 507 00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:49,018 Did I frighten you? 508 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:50,687 Sorry. 509 00:17:50,787 --> 00:17:53,757 Uh, I'm not, I'm not, uh... I'm Dennis. 510 00:17:56,025 --> 00:17:58,762 Do you like hard candy? 511 00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:01,398 I have candies. Oh, you know what? 512 00:18:01,431 --> 00:18:03,933 Actually, I don't. Scratch that. I... 513 00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:07,337 I threw all the hard candies at those idiot children. 514 00:18:07,437 --> 00:18:09,206 Uh... 515 00:18:09,306 --> 00:18:11,040 Oysters or clams? 516 00:18:11,141 --> 00:18:13,843 - Excuse me? - Oysters, obviously. 517 00:18:15,781 --> 00:18:16,446 You know? 518 00:18:16,546 --> 00:18:18,682 - Mm. - Plus, like, they-they... 519 00:18:18,782 --> 00:18:20,284 You can, you can get sick off clams. 520 00:18:20,384 --> 00:18:22,286 Like, I got real sick off clams when I was, like... 521 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,021 Anything can make you throw up 522 00:18:25,054 --> 00:18:27,557 if you're, if you're, uh... if it's gone bad. 523 00:18:27,657 --> 00:18:29,526 You know, my dad was, like, throwing up off... 524 00:18:29,626 --> 00:18:31,361 He's not really my dad, but you know. 525 00:18:31,395 --> 00:18:33,363 Yeah. 526 00:18:33,397 --> 00:18:35,463 But anyway, it's oysters for me. 527 00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:37,123 Um... 528 00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,535 Hey, uh, you know what? I just realized. 529 00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:40,237 We don't have a lot of time, so let's... 530 00:18:40,337 --> 00:18:42,472 We should get this over with. Can I get your house key? 531 00:18:42,572 --> 00:18:43,673 - What? - We don't, 532 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,475 uh, have to have sex like this. 533 00:18:45,509 --> 00:18:48,044 I can, I can... I can put another man's face on. 534 00:18:48,144 --> 00:18:50,380 If you give me your house key, I can go to your house 535 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,681 and put on some of your makeup... 536 00:18:51,781 --> 00:18:53,517 - Get away from me. - Well, hold on a second. 537 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:56,420 Um, uh, we... I'm supposed to be taking a shit right now. 538 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,222 - And so... Yeah. - Dennis. 539 00:18:58,322 --> 00:18:59,856 What are you doing to this woman? 540 00:18:59,956 --> 00:19:01,525 Uh, it was my turn to take a shit, 541 00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:04,027 and then I was gonna do it with her. 542 00:19:04,127 --> 00:19:05,729 I am so sorry about him. Okay? 543 00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:07,197 This man is clearly a monster, 544 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:08,665 and he will be punished accordingly. 545 00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:10,166 G-Go wait for me over there, monster. 546 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,335 We'll find another woman. 547 00:19:12,602 --> 00:19:13,837 It's Dee Day. 548 00:19:17,349 --> 00:19:18,408 Just so you know, you look... 549 00:19:18,508 --> 00:19:21,211 a lot better now, but you looked fine. 550 00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:23,513 I just don't look good when I haven't got enough sleep. 551 00:19:23,547 --> 00:19:25,749 And I got a little nap in, so, you know, I'm back. 552 00:19:25,782 --> 00:19:27,317 - Huh. - Anyway, 553 00:19:27,351 --> 00:19:29,419 I bet you the city council's voted already. 554 00:19:29,519 --> 00:19:31,488 - Dying to figure out which way they voted. - Oh, dude. 555 00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:33,490 It doesn't matter. Like, the bird bitch ruined everything. 556 00:19:33,523 --> 00:19:35,825 - We had a plan. We had... - Shh. Keep your voice down. 557 00:19:35,859 --> 00:19:37,927 We may have lost this one, but the most important thing 558 00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:39,829 is that we don't get another Dee Day. 559 00:19:39,863 --> 00:19:42,732 Oh, man. That's, like, the 20th piss I took today. 560 00:19:42,832 --> 00:19:44,200 - Oh, yeah? - Well, hey, it's important 561 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,769 - to stay hydrated. - Yeah. 562 00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:47,871 Knock it off. Looks like you guys are gonna make it. 563 00:19:47,904 --> 00:19:50,740 And I have to say, I am very impressed that you were able 564 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,843 to focus on anything other than yourselves for one entire day. 565 00:19:53,877 --> 00:19:55,845 - Well, Dee, it's been a real pleasure. - Uh, we haven't 566 00:19:55,879 --> 00:19:57,914 - made it yet, so... - We've enjoyed it. - It's been really great. 567 00:19:58,014 --> 00:20:00,384 And Dee Day ends officially in 568 00:20:00,417 --> 00:20:03,219 three, two, one. 569 00:20:04,854 --> 00:20:06,390 All right, let me have it. Pile it on me. 570 00:20:06,423 --> 00:20:08,358 - News. - Pile it on me. - TV. TV. Yeah, put the... 571 00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:10,026 - Channel 7. Channel 7. - Put the news on. Put the news on. 572 00:20:10,059 --> 00:20:11,361 - What are you doing? - What channel? What channel? 573 00:20:11,395 --> 00:20:12,762 - S-Seven? Seven? - Yeah, it might be. 574 00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:14,764 In a stunning upset, 575 00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:17,801 local ordinance LC-103 passed today. 576 00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:19,469 The controversial proposal 577 00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:22,872 actually legalizes public urination. 578 00:20:22,906 --> 00:20:24,608 - It passed! It passed! - It passed! It passed! 579 00:20:24,708 --> 00:20:25,709 It passed! 580 00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:27,377 Oh! 581 00:20:27,411 --> 00:20:28,778 - It passed anyway. - Nice! 582 00:20:28,878 --> 00:20:29,979 What passed? 583 00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:31,715 Dee, we have been working for weeks 584 00:20:31,748 --> 00:20:33,049 on a very intricate plan 585 00:20:33,082 --> 00:20:34,451 to ensure the passage of that ordinance. 586 00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:36,320 Yeah. All we had to do was stop one city councilwoman 587 00:20:36,353 --> 00:20:37,921 - from voting, that was it. - Yeah, yeah. So we had 588 00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:39,756 this ingenious plan to, uh, get ahold of her keys, 589 00:20:39,856 --> 00:20:41,525 sneak into her house and, uh, turn all of her clocks back, 590 00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:43,593 - mess with her phones a little bit or whatever... - It was a good plan. 591 00:20:43,693 --> 00:20:45,662 ...so that she would sleep too late, she would miss the vote, 592 00:20:45,695 --> 00:20:47,673 and the ordinance would pass, and it passed! 593 00:20:48,865 --> 00:20:50,300 We knew that she would be the one dissenting vote. 594 00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,435 - So we had to stop her. - Yeah. 595 00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:52,869 - How? - Oh, well, it's a group... 596 00:20:52,969 --> 00:20:54,504 - Uh, well, yeah. - There it is. 597 00:20:54,538 --> 00:20:56,139 It's all men and she was the one lady. 598 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,707 - Men are free once again... - We are free! 599 00:20:57,807 --> 00:21:00,009 ...to relieve themselves where God intended. 600 00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:01,311 You guys are idiots! 601 00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,179 That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever even heard. 602 00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:05,181 Why didn't you just go and slash her tires, like, 603 00:21:05,214 --> 00:21:07,016 five minutes before she had to leave for the meeting? 604 00:21:07,116 --> 00:21:08,785 - Oh. Oh. - What? Oh, yeah, just do that. 605 00:21:08,885 --> 00:21:10,354 - Okay, yeah, just do that. - Yeah, sure. 606 00:21:10,454 --> 00:21:12,155 Dee, you know what? You don't get it. Okay? 607 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,358 Women will never understand what it's like to be a man. 608 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:17,060 Like, we just, like, we need to piss in public, okay? 609 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,397 We need to hatch plans that actually work. 610 00:21:20,497 --> 00:21:22,699 Dee, your plan would not have worked. 611 00:21:22,732 --> 00:21:25,502 Oh, yeah? My plan did work, jackass. 612 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,737 I got close enough to the councilwoman in the restaurant 613 00:21:27,837 --> 00:21:29,739 to steal her wallet, got her address, 614 00:21:29,839 --> 00:21:31,541 and then replaced the wallet without her seeing. 615 00:21:31,575 --> 00:21:33,142 And then, in the middle of the night 616 00:21:33,176 --> 00:21:35,311 when I told you guys I was going to "take a shit" 617 00:21:35,345 --> 00:21:37,313 like you were doing all goddamn day, 618 00:21:37,347 --> 00:21:39,683 I snuck over and I slashed her tires. 619 00:21:40,621 --> 00:21:42,318 You did? Why? 620 00:21:42,352 --> 00:21:44,187 Did you see how many times I peed today? 621 00:21:44,287 --> 00:21:45,589 I have a teeny, tiny, little bladder. 622 00:21:45,689 --> 00:21:47,824 I want to be able to pee on the street if I have to. 623 00:21:47,857 --> 00:21:49,726 - Oh! You? - Ugh! Gross. - In front of us? 624 00:21:49,826 --> 00:21:51,361 - Just out there in the public? - A woman? - Squat? 625 00:21:51,461 --> 00:21:52,696 - Dee, you nasty. - Nasty. 626 00:21:52,796 --> 00:21:55,064 - Dee, you n... - She's so nasty. 627 00:21:55,164 --> 00:21:57,200 No, you know what? You guys are just pissed 628 00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,403 - because I outsmarted you. - Oh, you outsmarted us? 629 00:21:59,503 --> 00:22:01,738 - You're embarrassed. - Dee, you spent the entirety of Dee Day 630 00:22:01,838 --> 00:22:03,607 coming up with a plan that eventually led 631 00:22:03,707 --> 00:22:06,042 to us getting exactly what we want, so... 632 00:22:06,142 --> 00:22:07,677 - We scored. - You're a stupid bird. 633 00:22:07,711 --> 00:22:09,379 Don't even bother trying to explain it to her. 634 00:22:09,479 --> 00:22:11,014 Her tiny bird brain will never get it. 635 00:22:11,047 --> 00:22:12,449 Birds don't understand plans. 636 00:22:12,549 --> 00:22:13,550 What about this one? Dee's a bird. 637 00:22:14,153 --> 00:22:15,852 - That's a good one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 638 00:22:15,952 --> 00:22:17,353 Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh. 639 00:22:17,387 --> 00:22:19,423 You should all probably check your phones. 640 00:22:19,523 --> 00:22:21,157 - Why? - Oh, I don't know. 641 00:22:21,190 --> 00:22:24,060 Just 'cause I pushed the cuckoo clock ahead an hour. 642 00:22:25,161 --> 00:22:27,263 No. Shut up. 643 00:22:27,363 --> 00:22:29,232 Here's the problem, guys. 644 00:22:29,332 --> 00:22:33,202 You just insulted me on Dee Day. 645 00:22:33,302 --> 00:22:35,204 - No. - No, no, no, no. God. - Oh, no, wait... 646 00:22:35,304 --> 00:22:36,873 You know what that earns you? 647 00:22:36,973 --> 00:22:38,341 Another day of Dee. 648 00:22:38,374 --> 00:22:39,876 - Oh, no! - No, no, no, no, no! 649 00:23:21,185 --> 00:23:23,085 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com