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I'M DRUNK AS HELL I'LL BLOW YOUR ASS AWAY

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LIKE RINGING A BELL FOOT'S TO THE FLOOR

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AND THE WHISKEY'S FLOWING I GOT A PORN SHOOT

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I GOTTA GET GOING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

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HE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ♪ >> ♪ 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE

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12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE ♪ >> ♪ JET CAR'S ROLLING

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ALL NIGHT LONG CRANKING UP THE JAMS

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AND SINGING ALONG CAR'S FULL OF BITCHES

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AND A BRAND NEW BONG ♪ [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] >> WE MUST BE, UH--WOW.

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HOLY CRAP, WE'RE HIGH.

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LOOK. WHAT IS THAT DOWN THERE?

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>> [SQUEAK] >> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M

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THINKING.

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THERE'S NOTHING DOWN THERE BUT WHERE WE LIVE, EXCEPT FOR OVER

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THERE.

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IT LOOKS LIKE A REAL CITY.

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[BEEPING] [BEEPING STOPS]

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[BEEPING] ALL RIGHT, I THINK WE GOT HER.

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LET'S GIVE HER A CRANK.

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[ENGINE REVVING] PERFECT.

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WHERE'S SHE GOING?

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>> I DON'T KNOW.

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TO SAVE MOUSE, I GUESS?

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HOW WOULD I KNOW?

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DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR PERSONAL COMPUTER?

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>> HAND ME THAT TOWEL.

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WHY?

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YOU'RE BECOMING BLACK NOW--THE BAD BLACK SHARK, REMEMBER?

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>> HAND ME THAT TOWEL, PLEASE, SO I CAN SHOVE IT THROUGH YOUR

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MOUTH AND DOWN INTO YOUR GUTS?

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>> WHOO.

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I'M SCARED.

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[PIANO PLAYING] >> THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, SPIDER,

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BUT, HEY, LISTEN, MAN, LET'S PUT AN END TO ALL THIS, MAN.

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WHY DON'T YOU UNTIE ME, MAN, OK?

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I'LL BE COOL.

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JUST HAND ME THAT GUITAR.

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I AIN'T GONNA ACT UP OR NOTHING, AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT

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FOR ON A TUNE.

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THERE YOU GO.

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ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

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OH, THIS IS NICE.

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GOOD SPIDER.

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>> MY BLOOD HAS TURNED TO BOOZE, AND I WANT MY FACE TO

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TURN TO BOOZE.

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HA HA HA!

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OH, IF MY BLOOD COULD DRINK MY FACE, WE'D BE ALL RIGHT.

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>> MY TOE, I'M GONNA GET TOE.

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>> OH, HERE'S A GOOD IDEA.

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LET'S FIND SOME GUNS AND PLAY WITH THEM.

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>> DAMN STRAIGHT.

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GIVE ME A GUN.

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I'LL GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK.

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>> NICE.

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>> I DON'T CARE HOW MANY LITTLE CHITTERLINGS YOU HAD.

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[TOY MACHINE-GUN FIRE] >> OK, HERE'S IT.

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YOU GIVE ME A GUN, AND THEN I'LL SAY, "GIVE ME THE GUNS."

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HA HA HA!

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WHERE'S MY HAT?

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JOE, BE HONEST WITH ME.

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IS MY HAT ON MY HEAD?

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>> I DON'T DRESS YOUR ASS IN THE MORNING.

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SHUT THE FREAK UP.

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>> COOL.

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ALL RIGHT, SO FIRST, AHEM, WE GET THE LIQUOR.

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THEN IT'LL BE LIKE, "GIVE ME YOUR HANDS."

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>> HEY, REALLY GREAT TO BE HERE TONIGHT.

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IT'S REALLY GREAT TO BE HERE TONIGHT.

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I JUST WANT TO THANK THE WHOLE CROWD FOR COMING TO SEE ME,

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COMING TO SEE ME.

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HA HA!

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BECAUSE YOU'RE EYEBALLS.

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THANK YOU.

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SO, WHAT'S UP WITH THIS TOWN, HUH?

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IT'S LIKE IT'S MADE OF CARDBOARD OR SOMETHING.

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HA HA HA!

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>> HE'S FUN-EYE.

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>> HE IS FUN-EYE.

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>> THANK YOU.

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THANK YOU, SERIOUSLY.

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SO I WENT TO GET A BAGEL AT THE HAT STORE, AND THE HAT SAID,

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"HEY, GO GET ME A BAGEL."

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THE HAT SAID IT.

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YOU PEOPLE ARE WILD.

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AND WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED.

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>> WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING?

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WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING?NG?

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WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

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WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

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WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING?

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>> WE'RE PARKING.

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>> OH, I GET IT NOW.

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I GET IT NOW.

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>> I GET IT NOW.

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>> I GET IT NOW.

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>> I GET IT NOW.

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>> SKILLET, YOU ARE NOW DR. SKILLET.

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FIX HER HEAD.

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NO, NO, NO.

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FIX IT, LIKE TERMINATOR.

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>> THIS ONE HERE IS LOW AND SLOW.

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♪ NOW, GUNS ARE FUN AND YOU'D BETTER RUN

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WHEN YOU SEE ME COMING 'CAUSE THIS A-K

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WILL MAKE MY DAY WHEN I START A-HUNTIN'

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WILL MAKE MY DAY WHEN I START A-HUNTIN'

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NOW, WHEN MY SWEET BOAR IT STARTS TO ROAR

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YOU OUGHT TO SEE THEM SCATTER JUST IN CASE MY AGENT K WON'T

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PUT AN END TO THE MATTER NOW IT AIN'T NO LIE

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MANY MEN HAVE DIED AND, MISTER, I AIN'T BRAGGIN'

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SO WATCH YOUR MOUTH AND MIND YOURSELF

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OR I'LL SKIN THIS HERE SMOKE WAGON

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[BEEP] [BEEP]

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GOL DARN IT!

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MAN, THERE WERE A THOUSAND GUNS DOWN IN THERE.

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WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

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SPIDER BOY, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO...

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AND THAT'S TO FIRE UP THE CORN DROID.

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OH, UH, YOU'RE NOT THE CORN DROID.

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THIS IS ONE BAD [BEEP].

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NOW, SEE, A SKELETON IS AN ARRAY OF FUTURE WEAPONRY WHICH

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IS SURROUNDED BY MEAT...

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THAT WAS MECHANICALLY SEPARATED AND FINELY COATED IN A TEFLON

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BATTER AND DEEP-FRIED.

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AND HE HAS ONLY ONE MISSION, AND THAT'S TO WIPE THIS

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FREAKIN' PLACE OUT ON MY COMMAND.

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SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

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YOU WITH ME?

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>> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW, BUT THERE'S THIS THING CALLED A

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CLUTCH.

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IT'S DOWN THERE.

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>> YEAH, I KNOW WHAT IT IS, AND I'M PRESSING IT WITH MY FIN,

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BUT I EASILY COULD PRESS IT WITH YOUR FACE.

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THERE WE GO.

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SEE?

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I'M ON THIS.

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>> WOW.

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I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE IMPRESSED.

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YOU MUST BE A SCIENTIST.

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>> I HAVE A FEELING SOMETHING BAD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO YOU

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AND EVERYONE ELSE, BUT MAINLY YOU.

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>> WE'LL TALK TO THE CLOCK ABOUT THAT.

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>> I'LL TALK TO HIM.

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YOU STAY IN THE CAR.

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>> YES, I WILL BECAUSE I WANT TO STAY IN THE CAR.

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IT WAS MY IDEA.

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I THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE YOU SAID IT.

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>> YEAH, EVERYBODY CARES WHAT YOU SAY, AS LONG AS YOU SAY IT

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LAST, WHICH YOU ALWAYS BARELY DO.

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THAT'S REALLY APPEALING.

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>> YES, IT SURE IS, ALWAYS.

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ALWAYS AND ALWAYS.

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>> WHOOPS.

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NOW I'LL HAVE THE LAST WORDS, WON'T I?

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YES, I WILL.

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I'M HAVING THEM RIGHT NOW.

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I'M HAVING THEM RIGHT NOW.

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AND THEN I'LL BE THE GUY EVERYONE SAYS, "HEY, THERE'S

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THE GUY."

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HEY, WHAT-- >> SLOW AND PATHETIC.

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I'M OUTWALKING YOUR CAR, DUMB ASS.

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>> YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-- >> SHIP. GET IT?

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SHIP.

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THERE ARE 3 SHIPS, NOT TWO.

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HEY, HOW ABOUT A ROUND OF DRINKS FOR MY FRIENDS?

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>> EYE NEVER DRINK.

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>> EYE NEVER DRINK EITHER.

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>> SO THIS GUY--A GUY WALKS INTO HIS HOUSE.

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WIFE SAYS, "HEY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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I BOUGHT YOU THIS BOWTIE."

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AND THE GUY GOES, "NOT ANOTHER TIE."

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HE SERIOUSLY SAID THAT TO HER.

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HEY, WHO'S HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE SCREAMING LETTER?

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HEY, WHO'S HEARD THE ONE ABOUT THE SCREAMING LETTER?

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>> THIS IS EVERY BIT OF CLOTHING I'VE EVER OWNED IN MY

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LIFE.

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>> [SCREECH] >> SOMEBODY WRAPPED THEM UP.

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>> [SCREECH] >> WHAT?

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OH, SHE IS?

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[GUN COCKS] [MACHINE-GUN FIRE]

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YOU ROUTED HER TRIGGER MOUTH TO THOSE TRIGGERS.

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>> FIND A FIRE THAT WILL COOK

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SOME MEAT, AND THEN FIND THE MEAT TO COOK ON IT, AND THEN

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WE'LL HOLE UP HERE FOR A WHILE.

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[CLINK] >> AND WHEN HE SAID, "CAN I

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GIVE YOU A HAND?" HE REALLY MEANT, "CAN I GIVE

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YOU A HAND--THIS HAND."

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[CHUCKLES] HEY, Y'ALL KEEP DRINKING AND

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LAUGHING, AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE.

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THEY'RE NOT BUYING IT.

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>> [BABBLING] >> NO. HERE'S A BETTER IDEA.

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SUCK IT.

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>> [BABBLING] >> SOMEONE SOUNDS MAD BACK

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THERE.

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>> YES, SOMEONE DOES.

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>> ♪ 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE

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12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE