1
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,067
[THUNDER CRASHES]

2
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,360
[SUSPENSE MUSIC
PLAYS OVER RADIO]

3
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,156
Radio around here sucks.

4
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,783
[TURNS RADIO OFF]

5
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,828
Come on, man.
Jobs don't get much sweeter than this.

6
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:21,038
You know?

7
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,333
Dead vic with a gnawed-on neck,
body drained of blood.

8
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:29,004
And a witness who swears up and down
that it was a vampire.

9
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,674
No, I agree. It's a hell of a case.

10
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:38,430
-A little more gusto, please.
-It's just...

11
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,767
...the world is coming to an end.
Things are a little complicated.

12
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,311
Well, we can't save the world.
Not today, anyway.

13
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:48,690
But what we can do is chop off
some vamps' heads. Come on, man.

14
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:52,569
It's like the good old days.
Honest-to-goodness monster hunt.

15
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,032
About time the Winchesters
got back to tackling...

16
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,660
...a straightforward,
black-and-white case.

17
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,870
[THUNDER CRASHING]

18
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,420
[POLKA BAND PLAYING
UPBEAT TUNE]

19
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,745
We still gotta see
the new Raiders movie.

20
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,998
Saw it.

21
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,543
-Without me?
-You were in hell.

22
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,253
It's no excuse.

23
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,546
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

24
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,631
MAN:
Pretzels. Pretzels.

25
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:56,550
Big pretzel.

26
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,635
I'll take two please.

27
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,014
Thank you.

28
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,641
Thank you.

29
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,896
Guten Tag.

30
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,232
Guten Tag yourself.

31
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,532
Hmm. Looks like that's our man.

32
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:24,995
Sheriff Deitrich?

33
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:30,334
-Are you the boys from the fed?
-Agents Angus and Young.

34
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:33,420
We called ahead about your problem.

35
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:39,051
Right. I tell you what. Why don't we
talk this out away from the crowd?

36
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:52,147
Marissa Wright, 26.
Just up from Larkin for the fest.

37
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:57,611
Tsk. Terrible. Just terrible.

38
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:01,198
I mean, it's the last thing this town
needs in peak tourist season.

39
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,576
Definitely the last thing
Marissa Wright needed.

40
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,750
-What the hell?
DEITRICH: Hey, you got me.

41
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,711
I mean, this killer is some kind of
grade-A whacko, right?

42
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,631
I mean, some Satan-worshipping,
Anne Rice-reading...

43
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,675
...gothic psycho vampire-wannabe?

44
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,344
DEAN: Sheriff, in your report,
you mentioned a witness.

45
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:26,265
Yeah, I wished I didn't.
But the witness insisted.

46
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:31,311
That's Ed Brewer.
Not exactly what you'd call reliable.

47
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,530
[POLKA MUSIC PLAYING]

48
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,824
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

49
00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:00,257
-I remember you.
-Yeah, and I remember you, Jamie.

50
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:04,594
-I never forget a pretty...everything.
-Oh.

51
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,848
-We're looking for Ed Brewer.
-What do you want with Ed?

52
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:12,853
Well, we are, uh, ahem, federal agents.

53
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:16,315
Mr. Brewer was witness
to a serious crime. We just need to--

54
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,442
Wait a minute. You're a fed?

55
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:22,446
Wow, you don't come on like a fed.
Ahem.

56
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,698
Seriously?

57
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,202
I'm a maverick, ma'am.

58
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,121
A rebel with a badge.

59
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:35,167
One thing I don't play by? The rules.

60
00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:39,463
Okay, maverick. Um....

61
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:42,382
So where can we find Mr. Brewer?

62
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,185
I told the cops everything I saw.

63
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,897
No one believes me.

64
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,316
Why should you be any different?

65
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,986
Believe me, Mr. Brewer.
We're different.

66
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,783
I spoke the God's-honest truth,
and now I'm the town joke.

67
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,577
Marissa Wright's murder is no joke
to us.

68
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:13,955
And we wanna hear everything,
no matter how strange it may seem.

69
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:17,459
We have a lot of experience
with strange.

70
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:30,472
It was just after midnight.
I just left here...

71
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,184
...and like I do every night, I cut
through the park on the way home.

72
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,062
At first I thought
it was a couple kissing.

73
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,689
But she was...

74
00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:42,067
...struggling too much.

75
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:46,113
And this man, he was--

76
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,657
Well, he was biting her neck.

77
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:53,495
-Can you describe her assailant?
-Oh, he was a vampire.

78
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,206
Okay, right. And by that, you mean--?

79
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,708
You know, a vampire.

80
00:06:58,876 --> 00:06:59,960
[HISSES]

81
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,253
Uh-huh. Yeah.

82
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,672
-So he looked like--
-He looked like a vampire.

83
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,967
With the fangs, and the slicked-back
hair, and the fancy cape...

84
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:10,220
...and the little medallion thingy
on the ribbon.

85
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:14,015
-You mean, like a Dracula?
-Exactly. Like a Dracula.

86
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,395
-Right down to the accent.
-The accent?

87
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:24,109
-What did he say?
-You know, something like:

88
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:29,781
"Stay away, mortal. The night is mine!"

89
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,620
You do believe me, don't you?

90
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,960
He must be here following up
on that murdered woman.

91
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,713
-Crazy Ed and his vampire story.
JAMIE: He might be weird...

92
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,924
-...but he's not crazy.
-Oh, come on, you're just saying that...

93
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,594
...because the guy has a crush on you
and he tips you in 20s.

94
00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,803
[JAMIE CHUCKLES]

95
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,015
MAN: Lucy!
-Oh.

96
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:59,436
-So got a beer back there for me?
-I don't know, Agent Young.

97
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,354
-You off-duty?
-And then some.

98
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:02,939
[CHUCKLES]

99
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,027
[SAM SIGHS]

100
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,862
DEAN:
So, what do you think?

101
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,698
Goth psycho
vampire-wannabe, right?

102
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:17,287
-Definitely not our kind of case. Whew.
-Agreed, but who cares?

103
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:21,124
Room's paid for and it's Oktoberfest.

104
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,752
Come on, brother,
beer and bar wenches.

105
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,547
Pretty sure women today don't react
well to the whole wench thing.

106
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,593
Hey, bar wench, where's that beer?

107
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,094
Coming up, good sir.

108
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,850
Dude, Oktoberfest.

109
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,311
There you go. What can I get you?

110
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,856
Oh, he doesn't drink.
He's a Christian Scientist.

111
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,734
Doesn't even take aspirin.
It's a real drag on stakeouts.

112
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:48,944
[JAMIE CHUCKLES]

113
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,320
You're funny.

114
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,905
I'm lot more than that.

115
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,866
Love the chance to show you.
What time you get off?

116
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,327
Ha, ha. Like I said, funny.

117
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,539
Whew.

118
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:04,125
-Man, it is time to right some wrongs.
-Come again?

119
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,128
Look at me.

120
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,632
I came back from the furnace
without any of my old scars, right?

121
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,926
No bullet wounds, knife cuts...

122
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,637
...none of the off-angle fingers
from all the breaks.

123
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,681
My hide is as
smooth as a baby's bottom.

124
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,975
Which leads me to conclude...

125
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,643
...sadly...

126
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,688
...that my virginity is intact.

127
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,482
-What?
-I have been re-hymenated.

128
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,944
Re--? Ha. Please.

129
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:34,281
Maybe angels can pull you
out of hell, but no one could do that.

130
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:37,367
Brother, I have been re-hymenated.

131
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,536
And the dude will not abide.

132
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:43,039
Alright, dude. Well, you go do
whatever you gotta do.

133
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,459
And I'm gonna go back
to the room and get some sleep.

134
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,836
[CHUCKLES]

135
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,799
[SIGHS]

136
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,302
So how about tonight?

137
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:58,763
Oh. Sorry, I promised
Lucy a girls' night out.

138
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:03,143
Besides, no self-respecting bar wench
lets herself get picked up...

139
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,020
...by a customer on the first try.

140
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:07,272
I'm not a customer.
I'm a federal agent.

141
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,525
-Try again tomorrow, G-man.
-I wish I could.

142
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,444
I don't think we're staying.

143
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,696
What, it's too weird for you?

144
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,865
Not weird enough.

145
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,159
[ANIMAL HOWLING]

146
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,711
[HOOTING]

147
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:33,673
[HOWLING]

148
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,468
Rick, did you hear that?

149
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,845
-What?
-It sounded like a wolf.

150
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,389
Come on, baby.
Don't change the subject.

151
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:43,391
I told you what could happen if--

152
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,227
-Those stories aren't true.
-They are, baby.

153
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:49,397
If a man doesn't get this
stuff out of his system regularly...

154
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,400
...it can back up
and cause all kinds of...

155
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,152
...medical-type problems.

156
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,659
[LOW GROWLING]

157
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,468
[SNARLS]

158
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:20,970
Do you hear that?

159
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:25,642
Anne Marie, there aren't any wolves
in Pennsylvania.

160
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,978
[SCREAMING]

161
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,068
[RIPPING]

162
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,866
[SLURPING]

163
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,791
And then...

164
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,001
...it just tore Rick into little pieces.

165
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,630
Ma'am, we understand
how hard this is...

166
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,966
...but can you describe the creature?

167
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:00,802
Oh.

168
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,513
It was a werewolf.

169
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,933
-A werewolf?
-Mm-hm.

170
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,269
-You're sure.
-Oh, yeah.

171
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,647
With the furry face,
and the black nose, and the claws...

172
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,900
...and the torn up
pants and shirt.

173
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,318
Like from the old movies.

174
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,698
Um....

175
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:26,035
Whoa, okay, so....

176
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,496
Thank you for your time.

177
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,841
First a Dracula, and now
a full-on movie-time wolf man?

178
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,177
What the hell is going on in this town?

179
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,437
[BOTH GROAN]

180
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,232
-Damn.
-Ooh.

181
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,777
SAM:
All right.

182
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:02,280
Whatever did this,
wasn't a psycho wannabe.

183
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:08,286
Look at those bite marks.

184
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,956
Right down to the bone and deeper.

185
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,918
Strong enough to tear a healthy man
apart, limb from limb.

186
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,836
-Could be a werewolf.
-Except, look.

187
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:20,715
Heart's still there, in one piece.
They never leave the heart behind.

188
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,218
Thus, I reiterate.
What the hell is going on?

189
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:27,138
Well, I was hoping
you boys could tell me.

190
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:29,265
Just got a rush job back from the lab...

191
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,309
...on those fibers we found
on the body.

192
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,396
Canine, wolf hairs.

193
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,987
I'm getting a headache.

194
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:52,288
I don't know, man.
Looks like we've stumbled onto...

195
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,375
...a midnight showing
of Dracula Meets Wolf Man.

196
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,335
-Is that it?
-I don't know.

197
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,212
I mean, Wolf Man
seems real enough.

198
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,589
Makes Dracula seem
less impossible, I guess.

199
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,299
Werewolves don't grow wolf hair.

200
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,717
-That's just a myth.
-Yeah.

201
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:10,098
So what, we've got a vampire and
a werewolf monster-mashing this town?

202
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,102
Ahh.
Looks like you guys are staying a while.

203
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,521
I heard about Rick Deacon.

204
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,982
This just got weird enough
for our department.

205
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,233
[CHUCKLES]

206
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,569
Well, beers are on me.

207
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,572
And just so you know,
I get off at midnight tonight.

208
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:29,075
Oh, it's not another girls' night out?

209
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,326
Doesn't have to be.

210
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:33,705
-Okay then. I'll see you tonight.
-Okay then.

211
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:44,090
Hey, you think this Dracula
could turn into a bat?

212
00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:47,135
That'd be cool.

213
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,100
[THUNDER CRASHING]

214
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,235
MAN:
Sorry to bother you at this--

215
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,738
Yeah, I do know what time it is.

216
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:11,075
I was just wondering if you were
expecting a delivery of some kind.

217
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,994
I don't know.

218
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,371
Well, it looks old.

219
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,707
That's right.

220
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,336
Yeah, an Egyptian kind of deal.

221
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:25,673
No, it was just sitting there
on the loading dock.

222
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,594
No, Dr. Eiger.
There's no shipping invoice.

223
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,346
There's no nothing.

224
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,348
I don't know when it was delivered.

225
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:38,019
It was here when I clocked in tonight.
I thought you'd know what to do.

226
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,021
Think Helen has
any record of it in her files?

227
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,440
[SCRAPING THEN A SOFT THUD]

228
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:02,168
Holy mother of crap! Aah.
Aah!

229
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,592
No! No! Aah!

230
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,762
Aah! No!

231
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:15,515
[GASPING, CHOKING]

232
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,857
[THUNDER CRASHING]

233
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,823
[WHEELS ROLLING]

234
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,909
COP 1:
All right, George, back.

235
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,411
COP 2:
Got it.

236
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:39,747
DEITRICH: See if there's any evidence of
a break-in. Call the delivery man.

237
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:42,166
COP 1:
Go get your photos right here.

238
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,670
DEITRICH: I want a statement from
everybody about the delivery guy.

239
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:49,173
COP 1: You wanna try that?
COP 2: Be a good idea.

240
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,051
[SCOFFS]

241
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,512
This sarcophagus isn't ancient.

242
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,889
It's from a prop house in Philly.

243
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,810
Oh.

244
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:05,732
Goes well with the bucket of dry ice
he was keeping in it.

245
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,693
Is he making his own special effects?

246
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,029
Mummy with good sense
of showmanship.

247
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,950
This is stupid.

248
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,828
Damn it. Jamie. I'm late.

249
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,831
You're good here with the mummy
and the crazy--?

250
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,624
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

251
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,507
[SIGHS]

252
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,720
Your loss, G-Man.

253
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,476
[FLAPPING]

254
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,485
[IN DRACULA'S ACCENT]
Good evening.

255
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:03,831
I have watched you for many nights
from afar.

256
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,627
My passion knows no bounds, Mina.

257
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:13,591
You are the reincarnation
of my beloved.

258
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,385
And I must have you.

259
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,179
Aah!

260
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,181
[SPEAKS WITH NO ACCENT]
Mary! Son of a--

261
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,102
Jamie?

262
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,980
Son of a bitch.

263
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:30,316
[WITH ACCENT]
You should not use such language...

264
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,777
...in the presence of my bride.

265
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,488
Okay.

266
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,323
Oh!

267
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,534
Haah!

268
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:43,996
[GRUNTS]

269
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,206
Jamie, run!

270
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:51,462
You have no choice in the matter,
Mr. Harker. Mina is mine!

271
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,302
[GRUNTS]

272
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,639
[GROANS]

273
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,284
[ENGINE REVS]

274
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:30,668
[HORN HONKS]

275
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:45,683
Hey.

276
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,936
-You guys all right?
-Yeah, I think so.

277
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,314
-And I think I know what's going on.
-Yeah?

278
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:52,982
Part of it, at least.

279
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,362
Uh.... The ear part?

280
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,990
Ripped it off Dracula's head. Touch it.

281
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,742
[SCOFFS]

282
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,791
-Ugh.
-Feel familiar to you?

283
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,878
-Oh, man.
-Skin of a Shapeshifter.

284
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,297
Just like St. Louis
and just like Milwaukee.

285
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,300
Of course, this one's
all whole new buckets of crazy.

286
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,636
Oh, and...

287
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:25,473
...this. I pulled it off during the fight.

288
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,516
Look at the label on the ribbon.

289
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,021
It's a costume rental.

290
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,982
All three monsters, the Dracula,
Wolf Man, the mummy...

291
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,317
...all the same critter.

292
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,194
We need to catch this freak...

293
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,988
...before he Creature-From-the-Black-
Lagoons somebody.

294
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,699
So you guys are like Mulder
and Scully or something?

295
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,660
And The X Files are real?

296
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:49,705
Hmm. No, The X Files is a TV show.
This is real.

297
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,832
Oh.

298
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:55,920
Okay, so the stagecraft, the costuming.

299
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,423
It's like he's trying to reenact
his favorite monster-movie moments...

300
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,509
...right down to the bloody murders.

301
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,678
Wait a second. Who the hell is Mina?

302
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:06,180
SAM: Mina?
-Yeah, it's what he called Jamie.

303
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,849
-He called me Mr. Harker.
-Jonathan Harker?

304
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,521
They're characters
from the movies and the novels.

305
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,940
Mina, Dracula's intended bride.

306
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:19,360
Harker, the fiancé
that stands in the way.

307
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,571
Seems like he's fixating on you.
Like he sees you as his bride.

308
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:26,575
-Well, lucky me. Heh.
-But to fixate on you, my guess is...

309
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:31,038
...that the shifter has to have seen you
before or been around you.

310
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,874
Jamie, has anybody strange
come to town?

311
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,377
Somebody that has taken
specific notice of you.

312
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:40,464
I don't know, Dean.
It's Oktoberfest. I'm a bartender.

313
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:44,635
There's lots of people. I--

314
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,556
-Wait a second, there is Ed.
-"Ed Brewer" Ed?

315
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:52,727
Yeah. He moved here
about a month ago.

316
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:57,356
Lucy swears he has a crush on me.
He comes in almost every night.

317
00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:59,984
But I don't think
he's the type of guy--

318
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:03,070
-Where does Ed live?
-I don't know.

319
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:05,114
But he works at the old movie theater.

320
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,575
I think he's the projectionist there.

321
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,620
-Take care of Mina?
-Yup.

322
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:19,170
So monsters are real?

323
00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:23,299
-Some of them. Yeah.
-And this Shapeshifter...

324
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,427
...he could turn into different people?

325
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,430
Yeah. Except this one's
turning into...

326
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:33,434
...the great monsters of screenland,
which is a new one for me.

327
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:38,689
You're not really FBI, are you?

328
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:42,443
-Not so much.
-So...

329
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:45,529
...this is what you do?
You and your partner...

330
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:48,282
...just tramp across the country
on your own dime...

331
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:52,203
...until you find some
horrible nightmare to fight?

332
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:55,956
Some people paint.

333
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:58,000
Wow.

334
00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,293
What?

335
00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:03,339
That must suck. I mean...

336
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:07,176
...you're giving up
your life for this terrible...

337
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:10,638
...I don't know, responsibility.

338
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:12,973
[CHUCKLES]

339
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:19,146
Last few years,
I started thinking that way.

340
00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:24,735
And, you know, it started
sort of weighing on me.

341
00:23:26,029 --> 00:23:28,072
Of course, that was before--

342
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:33,702
[CHUCKLES]

343
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:42,336
A little while ago, I had this...

344
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,423
...let's call it a near-death experience.

345
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:47,383
Very near.

346
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:52,972
And...

347
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:57,351
...ahem, when I came to...

348
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,395
...things were different.

349
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,441
My life's been different.

350
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:07,194
I realized that I help people.

351
00:24:07,529 --> 00:24:10,614
You know? Not just help them though,
I save them.

352
00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:14,535
And I gotta say, it's awesome.

353
00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:19,248
It's kind of like a gift.

354
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:23,377
Like a mission.

355
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:30,092
Kind of like a mission from God.

356
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:37,057
So does that make you...

357
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:39,727
...some kind of monk or something?

358
00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:44,273
You know, celibate?

359
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:45,733
Man, I hope not.

360
00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:47,776
[THUNDER CRASHES]

361
00:24:58,580 --> 00:25:00,080
[SWITCH CLICKS]

362
00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,585
Holy crap. Oh, my God, Jamie.

363
00:25:05,128 --> 00:25:08,923
Guys, I'm sorry. I thought
you guys were going out.

364
00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:11,467
Lucy, it's okay. Listen--

365
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:16,972
I came to borrow a bottle. I got
something going on back at my--

366
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:23,312
Anyway, you guys look really busy.
So I'm just gonna get out of your hair.

367
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:28,609
No, seriously, Lucy. It's been
a crazy night. Stay for a drink.

368
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:31,612
Yeah, stay for a drink.

369
00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:33,197
[THUNDER CRASHES]

370
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,449
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE]

371
00:26:32,882 --> 00:26:35,009
[SWITCHES TO BOSSA NOVA]

372
00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:42,391
Whoa!

373
00:26:42,642 --> 00:26:44,226
You FBI man. What did I--?

374
00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:46,353
Shut up! Okay?
You know what you did.

375
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:48,022
-What?
-I know what you are.

376
00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:50,524
I'm not anything.
I just like to play the Casio.

377
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:53,527
-Had time to grow the ear back, huh?
-What? Ow!

378
00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:56,530
Ow! Ouch! Ouch!

379
00:26:58,366 --> 00:27:00,701
-It's supposed to come off.
-No, it's not.

380
00:27:04,581 --> 00:27:07,875
Oh, that sounds awful.
Jamie, honey, are you okay?

381
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:11,712
I'm fine. He didn't even touch me.

382
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,382
Dean, he just, heh, flew right in
and fought him off.

383
00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:19,928
Well, I didn't actually fly. But I'm sure
it seemed that way at the time.

384
00:27:20,096 --> 00:27:23,182
It did. It was really, really something.

385
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:27,102
-Jamie?
-Hmm.

386
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:30,731
So, Dean, are you
like a black belt or what?

387
00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:41,116
Well, I guess, they train you to fight
at the academy or whatever.

388
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,790
JAMIE:
Dean! What are you doing?

389
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,417
[GRUNTS]

390
00:27:53,296 --> 00:27:54,421
It's you, isn't it?

391
00:28:03,973 --> 00:28:06,600
Oh! Damn it.

392
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:11,438
What did you put in our drinks?

393
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,026
It's all right, I'll skin you myself.

394
00:28:18,446 --> 00:28:20,531
[GLASS SHATTERING]

395
00:28:23,868 --> 00:28:27,246
And scene.

396
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,795
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

397
00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,398
[GRUNTS]

398
00:29:00,488 --> 00:29:02,364
Oh, come on.

399
00:29:14,961 --> 00:29:17,963
She is beautiful, no?

400
00:29:18,673 --> 00:29:21,967
Bride Number 3 from the first film.

401
00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:27,473
She never got the acclaim
that she deserved...

402
00:29:29,058 --> 00:29:33,395
...which is why I chose her shape,
her form...

403
00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:36,857
...to move among
the mortals unnoticed...

404
00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:41,028
...to listen to the cricket songs
of the living.

405
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:47,576
That is when I discovered my bride
had been reborn...

406
00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:49,036
...in this century.

407
00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:50,204
[SNICKERS]

408
00:29:51,706 --> 00:29:56,877
I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-eyed
crazy son of a bitch you really are.

409
00:29:57,045 --> 00:30:00,589
You're not Dracula.
You get that, right?

410
00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,591
Or even if you think
you are Dracula...

411
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:04,718
...what the hell is up with the mummy?

412
00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:10,265
I am all monsters.

413
00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:13,602
Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of--

414
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:19,149
-Aah.
-Life is small...

415
00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:23,278
...meager, messy.

416
00:30:24,072 --> 00:30:29,243
The movies are grand, simple, elegant.

417
00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:33,747
I have chosen elegance.

418
00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:39,920
Yeah? Is "elegance" really the word
for what you did to Marissa?

419
00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:43,924
Or Rick Deacon? Or any of the others?

420
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:49,346
But, of course, it is a monster movie
after all.

421
00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:53,058
You do realize what happens
at the end of every monster movie?

422
00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:54,601
Ah.

423
00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:59,106
But this movie is mine.

424
00:31:00,108 --> 00:31:03,610
And in it, the monster wins.

425
00:31:03,778 --> 00:31:07,531
The monster gets the girl.

426
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:11,451
And the hero, he's...

427
00:31:11,619 --> 00:31:13,495
...electrocuted.

428
00:31:13,663 --> 00:31:15,289
[CHUCKLES]

429
00:31:15,456 --> 00:31:18,667
And tonight, Jonathan Harker...

430
00:31:18,835 --> 00:31:23,171
...you will be my hero.

431
00:31:23,339 --> 00:31:26,133
Wait, wait, wait. Heh-heh.

432
00:31:36,519 --> 00:31:37,644
[GRUNTS]

433
00:31:37,812 --> 00:31:40,397
[DOORBELL RINGS]

434
00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:44,484
Please, excuse me.

435
00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:51,158
[CREAKING]

436
00:31:58,416 --> 00:32:01,168
[DOORBELL RINGS]

437
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,924
Good evening.

438
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:10,427
Uh....

439
00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:13,013
-Pizza delivery?
-Ah.

440
00:32:13,181 --> 00:32:16,558
You have brought a repast. Excellent.

441
00:32:17,393 --> 00:32:22,522
Continue to be of such service,
and your life will be spared.

442
00:32:23,858 --> 00:32:25,525
Uh-huh.

443
00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:30,197
That'll be 15.50.

444
00:32:30,698 --> 00:32:32,407
-Tell me.
-Yeah?

445
00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:36,370
Is there garlic on this pizza?

446
00:32:38,414 --> 00:32:40,540
I don't know.

447
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:42,960
-Did you order garlic?
-No.

448
00:32:43,169 --> 00:32:46,922
Then, no. Look, mister,
I got four other deliveries to make.

449
00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:49,716
You wanna just pay me the money
so I can go?

450
00:32:49,884 --> 00:32:51,718
Of course. Yes.

451
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,055
But I have a coupon.

452
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:56,723
[DOOR CLOSES]

453
00:32:56,891 --> 00:32:58,225
[SIGHS]

454
00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:04,189
[PHONE BEEPS]

455
00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:08,902
Dean, hey listen. Ed is not our guy.

456
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:12,406
I'm guessing you went home with Jamie,
so just give me a call, okay?

457
00:33:13,741 --> 00:33:15,117
[SIGHS]

458
00:33:18,621 --> 00:33:20,122
[THUNDER CRASHES]

459
00:33:23,918 --> 00:33:25,585
Lucy.

460
00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:53,363
DRACULA:
You wake.

461
00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:59,494
The gown, it suits your beauty.

462
00:33:59,662 --> 00:34:01,788
Please, put it on.

463
00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:07,294
Where am I?
What have you done with Dean?

464
00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:10,505
Harker is resting elsewhere.

465
00:34:10,673 --> 00:34:15,052
Please, put on the gown
and you may dine.

466
00:34:15,261 --> 00:34:17,554
We are having pizza.

467
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:24,478
What? What is wrong with you?

468
00:34:25,646 --> 00:34:28,315
You made up Lucy, right?

469
00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:30,525
Pretended to be my friend?

470
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:33,987
I needed to know if you were the one.

471
00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,906
You could try talking to people.

472
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,867
-And instead you become this?
-The gown.

473
00:34:39,035 --> 00:34:42,871
I don't want to play
your stupid game. Okay? I just--

474
00:34:43,664 --> 00:34:44,831
I just want to go home.

475
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:47,501
[NO ACCENT]
Put on the gown!

476
00:34:55,009 --> 00:34:57,094
[TICKING]

477
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:10,524
[COCKS GUN]

478
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:25,747
[THUNDER CRASHING]

479
00:35:34,048 --> 00:35:36,216
[NO ACCENT]
I-- I scared you.

480
00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:41,138
You're the only one
I don't wanna scare.

481
00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:53,984
I just love the movies.

482
00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,404
They aren't real.

483
00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:00,240
You can't make them real.

484
00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:06,371
Real is being born this way.

485
00:36:07,248 --> 00:36:09,082
Different.

486
00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:14,921
Real is having your dad
call you "monster."

487
00:36:15,381 --> 00:36:17,299
It's the first time you hear the word...

488
00:36:17,466 --> 00:36:20,969
...and he tries to beat you to death
with a shovel.

489
00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:26,266
Everywhere I ran, everywhere
I tried to hide, people found me.

490
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:29,019
Dragged me out, attacked me.

491
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:34,441
Called me "freak," called me "monster."

492
00:36:37,111 --> 00:36:41,448
Tsk. Then I found them.

493
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:47,204
The great monsters.

494
00:36:47,413 --> 00:36:52,918
In their movies,
they were strong, they were feared.

495
00:36:54,420 --> 00:36:55,712
They were beautiful.

496
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:59,174
And now I am like them.

497
00:36:59,342 --> 00:37:00,926
[SNIFFLING]

498
00:37:01,802 --> 00:37:03,845
Commanding.

499
00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:08,308
Terrifying.

500
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,311
Lonely.

501
00:37:11,479 --> 00:37:13,813
Was lonely.

502
00:37:15,316 --> 00:37:19,486
Now I have you.

503
00:37:20,529 --> 00:37:24,741
Ever think that maybe you're lonely
because you kill people?

504
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:28,662
Or I kill people because I'm lonely.

505
00:37:28,829 --> 00:37:30,038
[CLATTERING, THUMP]

506
00:37:31,707 --> 00:37:35,001
-Did you hear that?
-What?

507
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:38,088
Dean?

508
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:39,714
Dean!

509
00:37:43,010 --> 00:37:44,386
[GASPS]

510
00:37:45,846 --> 00:37:47,180
[GROANS]

511
00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:53,019
[SIGHS]

512
00:37:54,563 --> 00:37:57,274
Oh, thank God. Just in the nick of time.
Uhn!

513
00:37:57,483 --> 00:38:00,026
Guy was about to Frankenstein me.

514
00:38:06,033 --> 00:38:08,368
-Hey there, Hansel. Heh.
-Shut up.

515
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:11,538
[EXHALES]

516
00:38:13,207 --> 00:38:14,582
[SIGHS]

517
00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:22,716
[SAM GRUNTS]

518
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:25,593
[PANTING]

519
00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:27,721
Let's go.

520
00:38:39,775 --> 00:38:41,901
[GRUNTING]

521
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:46,614
[IN DRACULA'S ACCENT]
You will never win, Van Helsing!

522
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:53,621
And you, Harker.

523
00:38:53,789 --> 00:38:55,915
Now you die.

524
00:38:58,336 --> 00:39:00,670
How about now you shut the hell up?

525
00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,136
-Oh.
-Ahh.

526
00:39:08,304 --> 00:39:10,430
[GUNSHOTS]

527
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:15,769
Silver?

528
00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:28,656
It was Beauty...

529
00:39:28,824 --> 00:39:31,326
...that killed the Beast.

530
00:39:33,287 --> 00:39:36,623
No, Mina, do not weep.

531
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:45,965
Perhaps this is how...

532
00:39:46,133 --> 00:39:49,636
...the movie should end.

533
00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:52,889
[EXHALES]

534
00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:21,251
Well, thank you, G-man.

535
00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:24,838
You've been of great service
to your country.

536
00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:27,590
Oh, yes. I'm very patriotic.

537
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:29,551
[GIGGLES]

538
00:40:33,722 --> 00:40:36,599
-Bye.
-Bye.

539
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:44,983
You guys saved my life, you know?

540
00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:48,111
So thanks.

541
00:40:50,948 --> 00:40:52,407
I like her.

542
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:54,951
Feels good to be back on the job,
doesn't it?

543
00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:57,245
-Yeah, it does.
-Hero gets the girl.

544
00:40:57,413 --> 00:41:01,207
Monster gets the gank.
All in all, happy ending.

545
00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:05,295
-With a happy ending no less.
-Heh. Real classy, Dean.

546
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:08,298
Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter
might have had a point.

547
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,508
Be nice if life was movie simple.

548
00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:14,220
If I was turning life into a movie,
I wouldn't do this...

549
00:41:14,388 --> 00:41:16,181
...Abbot-and-Costello
Meet-the-Monster crap.

550
00:41:16,348 --> 00:41:19,601
-Yeah. No, I know what you'd pick.
-Heh.

551
00:41:19,768 --> 00:41:21,644
No, you don't.

552
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,648
-Yeah, I do.
-No, you don't. You don't.

553
00:41:25,816 --> 00:41:27,734
-Porky's ll.
-What?

554
00:41:27,902 --> 00:41:29,652
You heard me.

555
00:41:32,531 --> 00:41:34,574
Lucky guess.

556
00:42:14,990 --> 00:42:16,991
[ENGLISH SDH]