00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:01:10,845 --> 00:01:12,835 Radio around here sucks. 2 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:19,075 Come on, man. Jobs don't get much sweeter than this, you know. 3 00:01:19,276 --> 00:01:22,470 Dead vic with a gnawed-on neck, body drained of blood, 4 00:01:22,705 --> 00:01:26,579 and their witness swears up and down that it was a vampire. 5 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:30,840 No. I agree. It's a hell of a case. 6 00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:35,240 A little more gusto, please. 7 00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:38,110 It's just... the world is coming to an end. 8 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:39,770 Things are a little complicated, you know? 9 00:01:39,810 --> 00:01:42,580 Yeah, well, we can't save the world, not today anyway. 10 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,470 But what we can do is chop off some vamps' heads. 11 00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,340 Come on, man, it's like the good old days. 12 00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:50,810 An honest-to-goodness monster hunt. 13 00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:54,940 It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling a... 14 00:01:55,070 --> 00:01:58,070 straightforward, black-and-white case. 15 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,810 We still got to see the new "Raiders" movie. 16 00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:43,582 Saw it. 17 00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:45,830 Without me? 18 00:02:46,110 --> 00:02:47,155 You were in hell. 19 00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:49,826 That's no excuse. 20 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,472 Big pretzel! 21 00:02:58,540 --> 00:02:59,652 Thank you. 22 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:02,472 Thank you. 23 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,628 Guten tag. 24 00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:09,770 "Guten tag" yourself. 25 00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,382 Looks like that's our man. 26 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:23,569 Sheriff Dietrich. 27 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:25,940 Are you the boys from the fed? 28 00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,633 Agents Angus and Young. 29 00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:31,800 We called ahead about your, uh, problem. 30 00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:34,070 Right. Um... 31 00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:34,900 I'll tell you what, 32 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,440 why don't we talk this out away from the crowd, huh? 33 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:48,010 Marissa Wright, 26. 34 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,147 Just up from Lockhard for the fest. 35 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,740 Terrible. Just terrible. 36 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,684 It's the last thing this town needs at peak tourist season. 37 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,970 Definitely the last thing Marissa Wright needed. 38 00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:08,340 What the hell? 39 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:10,040 Yeah, you got me -- I mean, 40 00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:12,470 this killer's some kind of grade A wacko, right? 41 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:15,310 I mean, some Satan-worshipping, Anne Rice-reading, 42 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,470 gothic, psycho vampire wannabe. 43 00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:20,070 Sheriff, in your report, you mentioned a witness. 44 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,310 Yeah, I wished I didn't. 45 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,798 But our witness insisted. 46 00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:26,010 That's Ed Brewer. 47 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,970 Not exactly what you'd call reliable. 48 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,540 I remember you. 49 00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,210 And I remember you... 50 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,610 Jamie. 51 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,631 I never forget a pretty... 52 00:05:01,286 --> 00:05:02,567 everything. 53 00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,940 We're looking for Ed Brewer. 54 00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:06,240 What do you want with Ed? 55 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:09,240 Well, we are, uh... 56 00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,270 federal agents. 57 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,890 Mr. Brewer was witness to a serious crime. We just… 58 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:15,870 Wait a minute. You're a fed? 59 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,410 Wow, you don't come on like a fed. 60 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:22,170 Seriously? 61 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,670 I'm a maverick, ma'am. 62 00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,270 A rebel with a badge. 63 00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:33,027 One thing I don't play by -- the rules. 64 00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:36,710 Okay, Maverick. 65 00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:40,900 Um, so, where can we find Mr. Brewer? 66 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,610 I told the cops everything I saw. 67 00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:55,270 No one believes me. 68 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,670 Why should you be any different? 69 00:05:57,910 --> 00:06:01,410 Believe me, Mr. Brewer, we're different. 70 00:06:02,552 --> 00:06:06,040 I spoke the God's honest truth, and now I'm the town joke. 71 00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:07,870 Marissa Wright's murder is no joke to us. 72 00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:10,440 And we want to hear everything, 73 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,510 no matter how strange it may seem. 74 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,970 We have a lot of experience with strange. 75 00:06:26,005 --> 00:06:27,340 It was just after midnight. 76 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:29,770 I just left here, and like I do every night, 77 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,540 I cut through the park on the way home. 78 00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:35,440 At first, I thought it was a couple kissing. 79 00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:39,670 But she was... struggling too much. 80 00:06:40,682 --> 00:06:42,601 And this man, 81 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,909 he was -- 82 00:06:44,552 --> 00:06:46,385 well, he was biting her neck. 83 00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:49,270 Can you describe her assailant? 84 00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:50,840 Oh, he was a vampire. 85 00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:54,570 Okay, right. And by that, you mean -- 86 00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:57,840 You know, a vampire. 87 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:00,640 So, he looked like… 88 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,040 He looked like a vampire. 89 00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:03,540 You know, with the fangs 90 00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:05,510 and the slicked-back hair and the fancy cape, 91 00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,670 and the little medallion thingy on the ribbon. 92 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,900 You mean like a Dracula? 93 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,410 Exactly. Like a Dracula. 94 00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:14,670 Right down to the accent. 95 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,840 - The accent? - Yep. 96 00:07:18,529 --> 00:07:19,670 What did he say? 97 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:21,725 You know, something like... 98 00:07:22,949 --> 00:07:25,062 "Stay away, mortal!" 99 00:07:25,297 --> 00:07:27,940 "The night is mine!" 100 00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:34,010 You do believe me, don't you? 101 00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,340 They must be here following up on that murdered woman. 102 00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:42,420 Crazy Ed and his vampire story. 103 00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:44,170 He might be weird, but he's not crazy. 104 00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:45,900 Look, you're just saying that 105 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:48,970 'cause the guy has a crush on you and he tips you in $20s. 106 00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:51,812 Lucy. 107 00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:56,770 So, you got a beer back there for me? 108 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,700 I don't know, agent Young. You off duty? 109 00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:00,740 And then some. 110 00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:07,240 So, what do you think? 111 00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:09,710 Goth, psycho, vampire wannabe, right? 112 00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:11,640 Definitely not our kind of case. 113 00:08:11,770 --> 00:08:15,710 Agreed. But who cares? 114 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,370 Room's paid for, and it's Oktoberfest. 115 00:08:19,410 --> 00:08:20,710 Come on, brother. 116 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,277 Beer and bar wenches. 117 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:23,792 Pretty sure women today don't react well 118 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,970 to the whole "wench" thing, Dean. 119 00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,800 Hey, bar wench, where's that beer? 120 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,470 Coming up, good sir! 121 00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,488 Dude, Oktoberfest. 122 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,270 There you go. 123 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:39,670 What can I get you? 124 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,610 Oh, he doesn't drink. 125 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,940 He's a Christian scientist. Doesn't even take aspirin. 126 00:08:44,970 --> 00:08:47,310 He's a real drag on stakeouts. 127 00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:48,670 You're funny. 128 00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:50,270 I'm a lot more than that. 129 00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:52,260 I'd love to get a chance to show you the rest. 130 00:08:52,195 --> 00:08:53,240 What time you get off? 131 00:08:53,270 --> 00:08:55,740 Ha ha. Like I said, "funny." 132 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,270 Man, it is time to right some wrongs. 133 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,540 Come again? 134 00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:05,086 Look at me. 135 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:08,526 I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? 136 00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:11,170 No bullet wounds, knife cuts. 137 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:13,540 None of the off-angled fingers from all the breaks. 138 00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:15,800 I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom, 139 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,510 which leads me to conclude, 140 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,372 sadly... 141 00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:23,772 that my virginity is intact. 142 00:09:23,807 --> 00:09:24,510 What? 143 00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,610 - I have been re-hymenated. - Re… 144 00:09:28,226 --> 00:09:29,310 Please. 145 00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:31,277 Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of hell, 146 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,510 but no one could do that. 147 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:35,440 Brother, I have been re-hymenated. 148 00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:37,840 And the dude will not abide. 149 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:38,970 All right, dude. 150 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:41,140 Well, you go do whatever you got to do, 151 00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:44,610 and I'm gonna go back to the room and get some sleep. 152 00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:53,410 So? How about tonight? 153 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:56,965 Oh, sorry. I promised Lucy a girls' night out. 154 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,282 Besides, no self-respecting bar wench 155 00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:03,476 lets herself get picked up by a customer on the first try. 156 00:10:03,511 --> 00:10:06,189 Well, I'm not a customer. I'm a federal agent. 157 00:10:06,224 --> 00:10:07,610 Try again tomorrow, G-man. 158 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:08,840 I wish I could. 159 00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,770 - I don't think we're staying on the case. - What? 160 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,340 Is it too weird for you? 161 00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:15,210 Not weird enough. 162 00:10:32,140 --> 00:10:35,170 - Rick. Did you hear that? - What? 163 00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:36,510 It sounded like a wolf. 164 00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:39,868 Come on, Marie, don't change the subject. 165 00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,710 I told you what could happen to a man if he doesn't -- 166 00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,640 - Those stories aren't true. - They are. 167 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,940 Baby, if a man doesn't get the stuff 168 00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:48,570 out of his system regularly, it can back up, 169 00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:52,470 and cause all kinds of... medical-type problems. 170 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,270 Shh, do you hear that? 171 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:23,820 Anne Marie, there aren't any wolves in Pennsylvania. 172 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:46,450 And then it just -- it just tore Rick into little pieces. 173 00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:50,000 Ma'am, we understand how hard this is, 174 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,040 but can you describe the creature? 175 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,000 Oh. 176 00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:58,010 It was a werewolf. 177 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,370 A werewolf? 178 00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:02,740 - You're sure? - Oh, yeah. 179 00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:05,210 With the furry face and the black nose 180 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,626 and the claws and the torn-up pants and shirt, 181 00:12:10,161 --> 00:12:11,370 like from the old movies. 182 00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:15,366 Um... 183 00:12:15,895 --> 00:12:17,289 Well. 184 00:12:17,324 --> 00:12:20,540 Okay, so... 185 00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:22,540 thank you for your time. 186 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:33,918 First a Dracula and now a full-on movie-time wolf man? 187 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,040 What the hell is going on in this town? 188 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:48,840 Damn! 189 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,170 All right. 190 00:12:53,510 --> 00:12:56,340 Whatever did this wasn't a psycho wannabe. 191 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,770 Look at those bite marks. 192 00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:04,770 Right down to the bone... 193 00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:06,070 and deeper. 194 00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:08,540 Strong enough to tear a healthy man apart limb from limb. 195 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,540 Could be a werewolf. 196 00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:10,910 Yeah, except, look. 197 00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:13,410 The heart's still there in one piece. 198 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:14,910 They never leave the heart behind. 199 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,310 Thus I reiterate -- what the hell is going on? 200 00:13:18,411 --> 00:13:20,240 Well, I was hoping you boys could tell me. 201 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,480 I just got a rush job back from the lab 202 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,410 on those fibers we found on the body. 203 00:13:27,031 --> 00:13:29,857 Canine. Wolf hairs. 204 00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:36,570 I'm getting a headache. 205 00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:46,470 I don't know, man. Looks like we've stumbled on to a... 206 00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:49,095 midnight showing of "Dracula meets Wolf man." 207 00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:50,240 Is that it? 208 00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:51,410 I don't know. 209 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,110 I mean, wolf man seems real enough. 210 00:13:53,140 --> 00:13:55,640 It makes Dracula seem a little less impossible, I guess. 211 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,110 Yeah, but werewolves don't grow wolf hair. 212 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,440 - That's just a myth. - Yeah. 213 00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:01,310 So, what? We've got a vampire 214 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,170 and a werewolf monster mashing this town? 215 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,140 Looks like you guys are staying a while. 216 00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:10,370 I heard about Rick Deacon. 217 00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:13,837 Yeah, this case just got weird enough for, uh, our department. 218 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,310 Well, beers are on me. 219 00:14:16,847 --> 00:14:19,970 And, just so you know, I get off at midnight tonight. 220 00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:23,140 Oh, it's not another, uh, girls' night out? 221 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:24,440 Doesn't have to be. 222 00:14:25,452 --> 00:14:27,970 - Okay, then. I'll see you tonight. - Okay, then. 223 00:14:35,036 --> 00:14:38,170 Hey, you think this Dracula could turn into a bat? 224 00:14:39,539 --> 00:14:41,040 That'd be cool. 225 00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:11,870 That's right. 226 00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:15,870 Yeah, an Egyptian kind of deal. 227 00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:20,210 No, it was just sitting there on the loading dock. 228 00:15:21,349 --> 00:15:23,729 No, doctor, there's no shipping invoice. 229 00:15:23,764 --> 00:15:25,253 There's no nothing. 230 00:15:25,595 --> 00:15:27,311 I don't know when it was delivered. 231 00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,554 It was here when I clocked in tonight. 232 00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:31,506 I thought you'd know what to do. 233 00:15:32,058 --> 00:15:34,470 You think Helen has any record of it in her files? 234 00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:54,410 Holy mother of crap! 235 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:01,170 No! 236 00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:06,870 No! 237 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,240 This sarcophagus isn't ancient. 238 00:16:48,770 --> 00:16:50,970 It's from a prop house in Philly. 239 00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:55,110 Well... 240 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,571 It goes well with the bucket of dry ice he was keeping in it. 241 00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:02,413 Is he making his own special effects? 242 00:17:02,448 --> 00:17:05,110 A mummy with a good sense of showmanship. 243 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:10,123 This is stupid. 244 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:13,108 Oh, damn it. Jamie. I'm late. 245 00:17:13,143 --> 00:17:15,010 You're good here with the mummy and the... 246 00:17:15,340 --> 00:17:15,870 crazy -- 247 00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:18,540 - Yeah. - Yeah. 248 00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,975 Your loss, G-man. 249 00:17:42,718 --> 00:17:43,540 Good evening. 250 00:17:53,886 --> 00:17:57,910 I have watched you many nights from afar. 251 00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:01,710 My passion knows no bounds, Mina. 252 00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:07,640 You are the reincarnation of my beloved, 253 00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:10,470 and I must have you. 254 00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:12,370 Ohh! 255 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:15,840 Mary, son of a... 256 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,097 Jamie! 257 00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:22,210 Son of a bitch. 258 00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:24,010 You should not use such language 259 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,870 in the presence of my bride. 260 00:18:28,477 --> 00:18:29,540 Okay. 261 00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:38,913 Jamie, run! 262 00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:42,410 You have no choice in the matter, Mr. Harker. 263 00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,570 Mina is mine! 264 00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:38,924 - Hey. - You guys all right? 265 00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:40,828 Yeah, I think so. 266 00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:42,610 And I think I know what's going on. 267 00:19:42,740 --> 00:19:43,610 Yeah? 268 00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,270 Part of it at least. 269 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,270 Uh, the ear part? 270 00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:53,340 Ripped it off of Dracula's head. Touch it. 271 00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:03,070 Feel familiar to you? 272 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:04,810 Oh, man. 273 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,370 The skin of a shapeshifter, 274 00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,276 Just like St. Louis and just like Milwaukee. 275 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,570 Of course this one's all holding buckets of crazy. 276 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,510 Oh, and, uh... 277 00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:17,570 This I, uh, pulled it off during the fight. 278 00:20:17,610 --> 00:20:18,940 Look at the label on the ribbon. 279 00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:23,970 It's a costume rental. 280 00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:26,840 All three monsters --the Dracula, wolf man, and the mummy -- 281 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,355 all the same critter, 282 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,665 which means we need to catch this freak 283 00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:32,510 before he "Creature from the Black Lagoon"s somebody. 284 00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:35,260 So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, 285 00:20:35,270 --> 00:20:38,010 and The X-files are real? 286 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:41,970 No, "The X-files" is a TV show. This is real. 287 00:20:44,569 --> 00:20:48,446 Okay, so, the stagecraft, the costuming 288 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:51,648 It's like he's trying to reenact his favorite monster-movie moments. 289 00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:53,570 Right down to the bloody murders. 290 00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:55,810 Wait a second. Who the hell is Mina? 291 00:20:55,940 --> 00:20:56,840 - Mina? - Yeah. 292 00:20:57,270 --> 00:20:58,070 That's what he called Jamie. 293 00:20:58,110 --> 00:20:59,540 And he called me Mr. Harker. 294 00:20:59,570 --> 00:21:01,010 Jonathan Harker? 295 00:21:03,010 --> 00:21:05,640 They're characters from the movies and the novels -- 296 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:07,870 Mina, Dracula's intended bride, 297 00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:10,836 Harker, the fiance that stands in the way. 298 00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:12,509 Seems like he's fixating on you, 299 00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:14,710 like he sees you as his bride. 300 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,370 Wow. Lucky me. 301 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,610 But to fixate on you, 302 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,810 my guess is that the shifter has to have seen you before 303 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,210 or been around you. 304 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,870 Jamie, has anybody strange come to town, 305 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,010 somebody that has taken a specific notice of you? 306 00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:30,540 I don't know, Dean. It's Oktoberfest. 307 00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:35,240 I'm a bartender. There's lots of people. 308 00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:36,710 I... 309 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,370 Wait a second. There is Ed. 310 00:21:39,410 --> 00:21:40,570 "Ed Brewer" Ed? 311 00:21:41,210 --> 00:21:42,840 Yeah. 312 00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:44,770 He moved here about a month ago. 313 00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:46,740 Lucy swears he has a crush on me. 314 00:21:47,570 --> 00:21:49,370 He comes in almost every night. 315 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,010 But, you know, I don't think he's the type of guy -- 316 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,040 Where does Ed live? 317 00:21:53,670 --> 00:21:55,370 I don't know. 318 00:21:55,510 --> 00:21:57,170 But he works at the old movie theater. 319 00:21:57,210 --> 00:21:59,680 I think he's a projectionist there. 320 00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:02,710 - Take care of Mina? - Yep. 321 00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:11,310 So, monsters are real. 322 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,370 Some of them, yeah. 323 00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:15,110 And the shapeshifter, 324 00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:17,970 he can turn into different people. 325 00:22:18,610 --> 00:22:19,140 Yeah. 326 00:22:19,570 --> 00:22:21,322 Yeah, except this one's turning into 327 00:22:21,357 --> 00:22:23,110 the great monsters of screenland, 328 00:22:23,140 --> 00:22:24,410 which is a new one for me. 329 00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:30,410 You're not really FBI, are you? 330 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:32,384 Not so much. 331 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,470 So, this is what you do? 332 00:22:35,710 --> 00:22:39,040 You and your partner just tramp across the country 333 00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:43,695 on your own dime until you find some horrible nightmare to fight? 334 00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:47,445 Some people paying. 335 00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:49,364 Wow. 336 00:22:50,099 --> 00:22:51,310 What? 337 00:22:52,540 --> 00:22:53,722 That must suck. 338 00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:58,940 I mean, you're giving up your life for this terrible... 339 00:22:59,270 --> 00:23:01,470 I don't know, responsibility. 340 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:12,010 Last few years, I started thinking that way, 341 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,724 and, uh, you know, it started sort of weighing on me. 342 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,610 Of course, that was before... 343 00:23:30,015 --> 00:23:34,470 A little while ago, I had this… 344 00:23:34,510 --> 00:23:37,040 let's called it a near-death experience. 345 00:23:37,670 --> 00:23:39,410 Very near. 346 00:23:46,570 --> 00:23:48,422 When I came to... 347 00:23:49,570 --> 00:23:50,969 things were different. 348 00:23:52,540 --> 00:23:54,545 My life's been different. 349 00:23:55,870 --> 00:23:59,126 I realize that I help people. 350 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,140 Not just help them, you know, I save them. 351 00:24:03,270 --> 00:24:06,710 I guess it's -- it's awesome. 352 00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:12,610 It's kind of like a gift. 353 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:17,170 Like a mission. 354 00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:19,350 Kind of like a... 355 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,598 mission from God. 356 00:24:24,770 --> 00:24:29,340 So, does that make you... 357 00:24:29,370 --> 00:24:32,310 some kind of monk or something? 358 00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:35,969 You know, celibate? 359 00:24:36,540 --> 00:24:38,796 Man, I hope not. 360 00:24:54,570 --> 00:24:57,170 Holy crap. Oh, my God. Jamie. 361 00:24:57,210 --> 00:24:58,971 Guys, I'm -- I'm sorry. 362 00:24:58,980 --> 00:25:00,219 I thought you guys were going out. 363 00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:03,129 Lucy, it's okay. Listen... 364 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,426 You know what? I just -- I came to borrow a bottle. 365 00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:09,540 I kind of got something going back at my... 366 00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:13,065 Anyway, uh, you guys look really busy, 367 00:25:13,070 --> 00:25:15,269 so I'm just gonna get out of your hair. 368 00:25:15,310 --> 00:25:18,740 No, seriously, Lucy, it's been a crazy night. 369 00:25:18,770 --> 00:25:21,070 Stay for a drink. 370 00:25:21,110 --> 00:25:23,305 Yeah. Stay for a drink. 371 00:26:34,710 --> 00:26:36,270 You, FBI man -- what did I -- 372 00:26:36,410 --> 00:26:38,940 - Shut up, okay, you know what you did. - What? 373 00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:39,910 I know what you are. 374 00:26:39,940 --> 00:26:41,940 I'm not anything. I just like to play the casio. 375 00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:43,810 Had time to grow the ear back, huh? 376 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:44,810 What? Ow! 377 00:26:50,340 --> 00:26:51,308 It's supposed to come off. 378 00:26:51,470 --> 00:26:53,240 No, it's not! 379 00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:59,970 Oh, that sounds awful. Jamie, honey, are you okay? 380 00:27:00,010 --> 00:27:02,070 Oh, I am fine. 381 00:27:02,110 --> 00:27:03,775 Ed didn't even touch me. 382 00:27:03,870 --> 00:27:07,470 Dean, he just flew right in and fought him off. 383 00:27:07,510 --> 00:27:10,040 Well, I didn't actually fly, but 384 00:27:10,070 --> 00:27:11,982 it sure seemed that way at the time. 385 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,710 It was really, really something. 386 00:27:16,740 --> 00:27:18,040 Jamie? 387 00:27:19,570 --> 00:27:23,210 So, Dean, are you like a black belt or what? 388 00:27:29,010 --> 00:27:33,094 Well, I guess they train you to fight at the academy or whatever. 389 00:27:37,010 --> 00:27:40,217 Dean, what are you doing? 390 00:27:45,340 --> 00:27:46,910 It's you, isn't it? 391 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,840 Oh, damn it! 392 00:28:00,510 --> 00:28:02,240 What did you put in our drinks?! 393 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:08,540 That's all right. I'll skin you myself. 394 00:28:15,870 --> 00:28:19,640 And...scene. 395 00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:50,270 Oh, come on. 396 00:29:02,192 --> 00:29:05,009 She is beautiful, no? 397 00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:09,254 Bride number three from the first film. 398 00:29:10,710 --> 00:29:15,334 She never got the acclaim that she deserved. 399 00:29:16,416 --> 00:29:18,818 Which is why I chose her shape, 400 00:29:18,910 --> 00:29:23,840 her form to move among the mortals unnoticed, 401 00:29:24,270 --> 00:29:28,670 to listen to the cricket songs of the living. 402 00:29:28,710 --> 00:29:34,534 That is when I discovered my bride had been reborn 403 00:29:35,470 --> 00:29:36,940 in this century. 404 00:29:38,940 --> 00:29:40,917 I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-eyed, 405 00:29:40,940 --> 00:29:43,640 crazy son of a bitch you really are. 406 00:29:44,270 --> 00:29:48,370 You're not Dracula. You get that, right? 407 00:29:48,410 --> 00:29:50,570 Or even if you think you are Dracula, 408 00:29:50,610 --> 00:29:52,310 what the hell's up with the mummy?! 409 00:29:54,470 --> 00:29:57,545 I am all monsters! 410 00:29:57,670 --> 00:30:00,970 Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of… 411 00:30:02,740 --> 00:30:07,040 Life is small, 412 00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:11,370 meager, messy. 413 00:30:11,410 --> 00:30:16,504 The movies are grand, simple, elegant. 414 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:21,610 I have chosen elegance. 415 00:30:23,370 --> 00:30:25,470 You think "elegance" is really the word 416 00:30:25,510 --> 00:30:29,370 for what you did to Marissa or Rick deacon 417 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,910 or any of the others?! 418 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,891 But of course, 419 00:30:33,282 --> 00:30:36,335 it is a monster movie, after all. 420 00:30:36,470 --> 00:30:40,955 You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie? 421 00:30:42,105 --> 00:30:47,010 But this movie is mine. 422 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,140 And in it, the monster wins. 423 00:30:51,170 --> 00:30:54,740 The monster gets the girl. 424 00:30:54,870 --> 00:30:57,690 And the hero, he's... 425 00:30:58,952 --> 00:31:01,199 electrocuted. 426 00:31:02,940 --> 00:31:06,071 And tonight, Jonathan Harker, 427 00:31:06,268 --> 00:31:10,589 you will be my hero. 428 00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:12,153 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 429 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,646 Please, excuse me. 430 00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:54,770 Good evening. 431 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,270 Uh...pizza delivery. 432 00:31:59,410 --> 00:32:03,010 Ah, you've brought a repast. 433 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,440 Excellent. 434 00:32:04,570 --> 00:32:06,640 Continue to be of such service, 435 00:32:06,770 --> 00:32:10,340 and your life will be spared. 436 00:32:11,170 --> 00:32:12,610 Uh-huh. 437 00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:18,151 That'll be $15.50. 438 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:19,709 - Tell me. - Yeah? 439 00:32:19,770 --> 00:32:24,170 Is there garlic on this pizza? 440 00:32:25,870 --> 00:32:29,157 I don't know. Did you order garlic? 441 00:32:29,070 --> 00:32:30,440 No. 442 00:32:30,870 --> 00:32:32,654 Then no. Look, mister, 443 00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:34,060 I got four other deliveries to make. 444 00:32:34,070 --> 00:32:36,654 You want to just pay me the money so I can go? 445 00:32:36,810 --> 00:32:39,610 Of course. Yes. 446 00:32:40,540 --> 00:32:42,147 But I have a coupon. 447 00:32:52,940 --> 00:32:56,340 Dean, hey, listen, uh, Ed is not our guy. 448 00:32:56,370 --> 00:32:57,510 I'm guessing you're at home with Jamie, 449 00:32:57,514 --> 00:32:59,770 so just give me a call, okay? 450 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,970 Lucy. 451 00:33:38,670 --> 00:33:42,270 You wake. 452 00:33:42,810 --> 00:33:46,770 The gown, it suits your beauty. 453 00:33:47,210 --> 00:33:49,640 Please, put it on. 454 00:33:50,855 --> 00:33:52,386 Where am I? 455 00:33:53,010 --> 00:33:54,752 What have you done with Dean? 456 00:33:54,770 --> 00:33:58,340 Harker is resting elsewhere. 457 00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:02,510 Please, put on the gown and you may dine. 458 00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:05,410 We are having pizza. 459 00:34:08,540 --> 00:34:09,810 What? 460 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,370 What is wrong with you? 461 00:34:13,110 --> 00:34:15,000 You made up Lucy, right? 462 00:34:16,279 --> 00:34:18,114 Pretended to be my friend. 463 00:34:18,570 --> 00:34:21,205 I needed to know if you were the one. 464 00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,070 You could try talking to people! 465 00:34:23,110 --> 00:34:25,540 But instead you become this? 466 00:34:25,770 --> 00:34:26,140 The gown. 467 00:34:26,170 --> 00:34:29,040 I don't want to play your stupid game, okay? 468 00:34:29,070 --> 00:34:30,029 I just... 469 00:34:31,112 --> 00:34:32,648 I just want to go home. 470 00:34:32,710 --> 00:34:35,059 Put on the gown! 471 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,910 I-I scared you. 472 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,370 You were the only one I don't want to scare. 473 00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:41,840 I used to love the movies. 474 00:35:42,670 --> 00:35:44,770 They aren't real. 475 00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:48,470 You can't make them real. 476 00:35:48,810 --> 00:35:54,540 "Real" is being born this way. 477 00:35:54,570 --> 00:35:55,778 Different. 478 00:35:56,578 --> 00:36:02,076 "Real" is having your dad call you "monster." 479 00:36:02,510 --> 00:36:04,274 It's the first time you hear the word, 480 00:36:04,792 --> 00:36:08,171 and he tries to beat you to death with a shovel. 481 00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:12,140 Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, 482 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:16,870 people found me, dragged me out and attacked me, 483 00:36:17,410 --> 00:36:21,940 called me "freak," called me "monster." 484 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:28,970 Then I found them. 485 00:36:31,410 --> 00:36:34,570 The great monsters. 486 00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:38,010 In their movies, they were strong. 487 00:36:38,140 --> 00:36:41,770 They were feared. 488 00:36:41,910 --> 00:36:43,570 They were beautiful. 489 00:36:44,510 --> 00:36:46,910 And now I am like them. 490 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,170 Commanding. 491 00:36:53,510 --> 00:36:55,318 Terrifying. 492 00:36:56,870 --> 00:36:58,110 Lonely. 493 00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,670 Was lonely. 494 00:37:02,910 --> 00:37:04,670 Now I… 495 00:37:05,010 --> 00:37:06,534 I have you. 496 00:37:08,010 --> 00:37:11,771 Ever think that maybe you're lonely because you kill people? 497 00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:16,187 Or I kill people because I'm lonely. 498 00:37:19,140 --> 00:37:20,615 Did you hear that? 499 00:37:20,870 --> 00:37:23,410 What? 500 00:37:23,740 --> 00:37:24,662 Dean? 501 00:37:25,470 --> 00:37:26,852 Dean! 502 00:37:41,910 --> 00:37:44,710 Oh, thank God. Just in the nick of time. 503 00:37:44,740 --> 00:37:47,470 That guy was about to Frankenstein me. 504 00:37:53,470 --> 00:37:54,090 Hey there, Hansel. 505 00:37:54,110 --> 00:37:55,133 Shut up! 506 00:38:13,410 --> 00:38:14,631 Let's go. 507 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,842 You will never be Van Helsing! 508 00:38:39,070 --> 00:38:43,158 And you, Harker, now you die. 509 00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:48,195 How 'bout now you shut the hell up? 510 00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:01,901 Silver? 511 00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:19,209 It was beauty that killed the beast. 512 00:39:20,870 --> 00:39:24,943 No, Mina, do not weep. 513 00:39:28,910 --> 00:39:36,732 Perhaps this is how the movie should end. 514 00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:05,640 Well, thank you, G-man. 515 00:40:05,670 --> 00:40:09,351 You have been a great service to your country. 516 00:40:09,370 --> 00:40:12,740 Oh, yes, I'm very, very patriotic. 517 00:40:18,470 --> 00:40:19,523 Bye. 518 00:40:20,110 --> 00:40:21,178 Bye. 519 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,840 You guys saved my life, you know? 520 00:40:29,870 --> 00:40:32,410 So, thanks. 521 00:40:35,770 --> 00:40:36,978 I like her. 522 00:40:37,170 --> 00:40:39,528 Feels good to be back on the job, ain't it? 523 00:40:39,710 --> 00:40:40,975 Yeah, it does. 524 00:40:41,010 --> 00:40:43,326 The hero gets the girl, monster gets the gank -- 525 00:40:43,361 --> 00:40:45,676 all in all, happy ending -- 526 00:40:46,023 --> 00:40:48,096 with a happy ending, no less. 527 00:40:48,570 --> 00:40:49,858 Real classy, Dean. 528 00:40:50,210 --> 00:40:52,636 Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter man had a point, you know? 529 00:40:53,094 --> 00:40:55,612 It'd be nice if life was movie, simple. 530 00:40:56,254 --> 00:40:57,734 Although, if I was turning life into a movie, 531 00:40:57,810 --> 00:41:00,493 I wouldn't do this "Abbott and Costello meet the monster" crap. 532 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:01,335 Yeah. 533 00:41:01,929 --> 00:41:03,521 No, I know what you'd pick. 534 00:41:04,270 --> 00:41:05,815 No, you don't. 535 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:07,893 Yeah, I do. 536 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:09,448 No, you don't. 537 00:41:09,710 --> 00:41:11,500 - You don't. - "Porky's II." 538 00:41:11,540 --> 00:41:13,766 - What? - You heard me. 539 00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:19,740 Lucky guess.