1 00:00:09,684 --> 00:00:11,370 - Hi. - Hi. 2 00:00:12,584 --> 00:00:13,950 Okay. 3 00:00:17,795 --> 00:00:20,053 So I thought we'd... try this new restaurant. 4 00:00:20,066 --> 00:00:22,582 It's right around the corner from here. It's Scottish-Mexican fusion. 5 00:00:22,602 --> 00:00:25,424 - Scottish-Mexican fusion? - Scottish-Mexican fusion. 6 00:00:25,448 --> 00:00:28,271 That would seem like two things that do not fuse. 7 00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:31,197 Perhaps you'll change your mind when you try their signature haggis enchiladas. 8 00:00:32,435 --> 00:00:35,075 - Okay. Lead the way. - All right. Yeah, come on. 9 00:00:35,959 --> 00:00:38,352 I was surprised when you called. 10 00:00:38,379 --> 00:00:39,737 Isn't there some universal guy rule 11 00:00:39,763 --> 00:00:41,849 where you have to wait four days to call a girl? 12 00:00:41,869 --> 00:00:44,683 That... does not ring a bell. 13 00:00:44,707 --> 00:00:46,643 And it's three days. 14 00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:47,939 Here we are. 15 00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:53,337 Uh, I did not realize there would be live music. 16 00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,012 So, uh, should we... 17 00:00:55,032 --> 00:00:56,603 Eat anywhere but here? 18 00:00:56,629 --> 00:00:58,362 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 19 00:00:58,388 --> 00:01:01,135 Besides, I'm sure we can find a place where we don't need reservations. 20 00:01:01,158 --> 00:01:02,558 Oh, you think it's just that easy? 21 00:01:02,571 --> 00:01:04,944 Just stroll in off the street and get a meal? 22 00:01:04,968 --> 00:01:08,628 Well, let me tell you the tale of Gary Blauman. 23 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,946 - There's the blushing bride! - Oh! 24 00:01:11,981 --> 00:01:14,474 - Gary Blauman! - How are you?! 25 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:18,525 Uh, duh, like I need to ask. You're getting married. 26 00:01:18,544 --> 00:01:20,592 Well, don't let me keep you. You have things to do. 27 00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:22,731 I will see you walking down the aisle. 28 00:01:22,757 --> 00:01:25,384 I'll be the guy in the eighth row going like this. 29 00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:28,836 - Right?! - Right. 30 00:01:28,862 --> 00:01:30,063 - Good luck today! - Thank you. 31 00:01:30,076 --> 00:01:31,550 Okay. 32 00:01:33,522 --> 00:01:35,389 - Hey, there's the blushing bride... - Code red! 33 00:01:35,472 --> 00:01:39,472 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x21 ♪ Gary Blauman Original Air Date on March 17, 2014 34 00:01:39,491 --> 00:01:44,491 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 35 00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:50,585 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, 36 00:01:50,607 --> 00:01:52,467 - oh, my God! - Why the code red? 37 00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:54,150 I mean, if it's... if it's about your hair, 38 00:01:54,170 --> 00:01:56,457 I didn't even notice; Especially not from the back. 39 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,109 - What? - Nothing. 40 00:01:58,136 --> 00:02:00,384 Gary Blauman is here, and I had no idea he was coming. 41 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,493 His reply card must've gotten lost in the mail. 42 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,054 I mean, where's he gonna sit? 43 00:02:04,073 --> 00:02:07,011 - It took us weeks to plan the seating chart! - Robin. 44 00:02:08,263 --> 00:02:09,723 Shh. 45 00:02:10,271 --> 00:02:11,951 - I got you. - Huh? 46 00:02:11,971 --> 00:02:13,773 You're talking to the seating chart master. 47 00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:16,916 At my own wedding, I managed to sit small-town Minnesotans 48 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:20,816 right next to liberal New Yorkers with grace and aplomb. 49 00:02:20,837 --> 00:02:23,773 Table 27 still gets together once a year for a reunion. 50 00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:25,800 Perhaps you've seen their photos on Facebook. 51 00:02:28,404 --> 00:02:29,671 Like I said... 52 00:02:29,699 --> 00:02:30,986 I got you. 53 00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:32,390 Thanks, Marshall. 54 00:02:37,236 --> 00:02:38,866 Code red! 55 00:02:38,888 --> 00:02:40,575 Grandma's sitting next to the band, 56 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,334 divorced couple sitting one table away from each other, 57 00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:45,187 no coherent singles table. 58 00:02:45,214 --> 00:02:47,604 This is the Robin's hair of seating charts. 59 00:02:47,624 --> 00:02:49,144 Singles tables are cruel. 60 00:02:49,163 --> 00:02:51,530 I mean, what if you went to a wedding and there was a table of all fat guys? 61 00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:53,123 - That would be awesome. - You're right, it would. 62 00:02:53,143 --> 00:02:56,076 Let's crack this Gary Blauman nut first, and then we'll work on the fat guy table. 63 00:02:56,096 --> 00:02:58,889 Wait, did you say Gary Blauman? 64 00:02:58,914 --> 00:03:01,241 - Yeah. Why? - I... 65 00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:04,374 hate... that guy. 66 00:03:04,394 --> 00:03:05,234 Why? 67 00:03:05,254 --> 00:03:08,361 Remember a few years ago when I read that biography of Teddy Roosevelt? 68 00:03:08,959 --> 00:03:13,480 For weeks after I read it, I only wanted to talk about one thing. 69 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:16,543 Teddy Roosevelt was the coolest guy ever! 70 00:03:16,558 --> 00:03:18,565 Oh, that's it! 71 00:03:18,591 --> 00:03:20,185 No more books, Ted. 72 00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:22,795 I don't like the person you become when you read books. 73 00:03:22,814 --> 00:03:24,712 Here's the deal: You get to tell us one more 74 00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:27,031 interesting fact about Teddy Roosevelt. 75 00:03:27,059 --> 00:03:29,112 One more, and then you're done forever. 76 00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:31,595 - So make it a good one. - Okay. 77 00:03:33,244 --> 00:03:35,313 He went blind in one eye... 78 00:03:35,921 --> 00:03:39,241 from getting hit too hard in a boxing match... 79 00:03:39,263 --> 00:03:41,390 ...while he was president! 80 00:03:41,409 --> 00:03:43,056 - That's a pretty good one. - Wow. That is kind of... 81 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,660 Right?! Oh, and when he was at Harvard... 82 00:03:44,673 --> 00:03:47,233 - No! No! - Shut up! - Oh, my God! Please! 83 00:03:47,246 --> 00:03:50,687 Well, one night, we were throwing a party to celebrate... 84 00:03:50,712 --> 00:03:53,445 something-- I-I can't remember what-- 85 00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:54,878 when a pretty girl I had never met 86 00:03:54,898 --> 00:03:56,773 noticed the book on the coffee table. 87 00:03:56,795 --> 00:03:58,935 I can't believe you have this book. 88 00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:03,919 I just finished reading it. Teddy Roosevelt was the coolest guy ever. 89 00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:05,448 A unicorn. 90 00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:08,334 I couldn't believe it. It was a stroke of luck on par 91 00:04:08,354 --> 00:04:10,708 with the 50-page manuscript in Roosevelt's breast pocket 92 00:04:10,729 --> 00:04:12,710 that helped slow that would-be assassin's bullet. 93 00:04:12,725 --> 00:04:15,492 - Dude, come on. - Sorry. Anyway... 94 00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:17,900 enter Gary Blauman. 95 00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:20,830 Is that the Teddy Roosevelt biography? 96 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:24,423 - Coolest guy ever. - Right? Right? 97 00:04:24,449 --> 00:04:26,316 Right? Right? 98 00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:28,663 - Right? Right? - Right? 99 00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:31,753 So the three of us started talking Teddy Roosevelt. 100 00:04:31,783 --> 00:04:34,434 When he took that four-minute flight on the Wright brother's plane? 101 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,620 So cool. 102 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:39,160 The time he climbed the tallest mountain in Europe on his honeymoon. 103 00:04:39,173 --> 00:04:40,677 So cool. 104 00:04:40,692 --> 00:04:42,119 And that's when I realized, 105 00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:44,308 Blauman and I were locked in a battle of wills 106 00:04:44,336 --> 00:04:47,889 that made T.R.'s charge up San Juan Hill look like a walk in the park. 107 00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:51,325 Or should I say, in the national park, since it was Roosevelt 108 00:04:51,338 --> 00:04:52,640 who spearheaded the establishment... 109 00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:55,100 Dude, come on. I gave you one. 110 00:04:55,998 --> 00:04:57,405 The battle raged on. 111 00:04:57,996 --> 00:04:59,416 In a way, he was... 112 00:04:59,438 --> 00:05:03,159 ...the archetype of the modern politician! 113 00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:07,676 - Dude, knock it off. - Knock what off, bro? 114 00:05:07,695 --> 00:05:11,541 This is my apartment, my Teddy Roosevelt conversation, I get the girl. 115 00:05:11,569 --> 00:05:13,705 Oh, so the fact that you're the incumbent means 116 00:05:13,725 --> 00:05:17,355 she should just pick you? Tell that to William Howard Taft. 117 00:05:17,382 --> 00:05:19,468 You're calling me Taft? 118 00:05:19,478 --> 00:05:21,405 If anyone's Taft, you're Taft! 119 00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:23,365 I'm not Taft! I'm Teddy! 120 00:05:23,388 --> 00:05:25,515 The hell you are. My name is Ted! 121 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:29,147 Yeah, right. Go sign the Payne-Aldrich Tariff Act, Taft! 122 00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:30,959 How dare you? 123 00:05:30,986 --> 00:05:34,018 Skinny-dipping in the Potomac River. 124 00:05:35,519 --> 00:05:38,596 And so the standoff continued, hours passed... 125 00:05:38,616 --> 00:05:40,263 then days. 126 00:05:40,289 --> 00:05:42,356 - Days passed? - Days passed. 127 00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:45,750 Finally, a T.R. stricken by tropical fever 128 00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:48,663 on his Amazon trek, we could go no further. 129 00:05:48,669 --> 00:05:51,895 When he was Assistant Secretary of the Navy... 130 00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:56,174 Will you just pick one of us already so I can either have sex or go to sleep! 131 00:05:57,281 --> 00:05:58,924 Smooth, bro. 132 00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:02,474 After that day, I have never liked that guy. 133 00:06:02,486 --> 00:06:06,302 So let's just tell Robin this can't be done, and send Gary Blauman packing. 134 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,352 Did you just say Gary Blauman? 135 00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:10,598 Yeah. 136 00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:12,561 I... 137 00:06:12,577 --> 00:06:14,344 love that guy! 138 00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:17,520 - What?! He's the devil! - He's an angel. 139 00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:20,527 It was 2006, Marshall and I had broken up, 140 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,826 and I was back in New York feeling vulnerable 141 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,543 and listening to my breakup song over and over. 142 00:06:25,569 --> 00:06:27,549 - Sugar Ray's "Fly." - You know it. 143 00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:29,747 Man, you know nothing about breakups. 144 00:06:29,775 --> 00:06:31,390 I really don't. 145 00:06:31,856 --> 00:06:34,583 - Anyway, then I hit bottom. - There's a bottom below Sugar Ray? 146 00:06:34,606 --> 00:06:35,872 Mm. 147 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,880 What?! Why have I never seen that before? 148 00:06:39,906 --> 00:06:42,633 I've been using cover-up and strategically placed 149 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:45,952 straps for a long time to keep this puppy quiet. 150 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:49,705 After all the times you guys made fun of me for my breakup butterfly tattoo? 151 00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:53,574 Oh, the fact that Ted got a butterfly tattoo, 152 00:06:53,594 --> 00:06:56,421 will you ever stop being hilarious? 153 00:06:56,427 --> 00:06:58,388 So why is it only half a butterfly? 154 00:06:58,403 --> 00:07:01,621 Because Gary Blauman saw me in the tattoo parlor, 155 00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:03,794 dragged me out and talked some sense into me. 156 00:07:04,528 --> 00:07:07,948 Lily, trust me, you and Marshall are going to get back together. 157 00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:11,185 And when you do, you will be so glad you did not get 158 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,718 the other half of that butterfly. 159 00:07:12,738 --> 00:07:16,951 Actually, I was gonna get a little more than the butterfly. 160 00:07:20,078 --> 00:07:21,691 It's good that I ran into you. 161 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,427 Marshall, Blauman saved you from a lifetime 162 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,868 of looking at Sugar Ray every time we do it on your birthday. 163 00:07:27,885 --> 00:07:31,218 - Find him a nice seat. - No, no, do not find him a seat. 164 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,503 - I'm telling you, this guy... - You find him a nice... 165 00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:34,029 Neither of us was gonna back down, 166 00:07:34,432 --> 00:07:36,866 so finally we decided to take it to the groom. 167 00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,850 - Wh-What's going on? - Shh! 168 00:07:39,878 --> 00:07:41,125 Wha...? 169 00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,127 Who's that guy? 170 00:07:45,156 --> 00:07:47,067 It's my ex-boyfriend. 171 00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:56,771 So, we're crouching behind a van, hiding from your ex-boyfriend. 172 00:07:56,798 --> 00:07:59,338 Forgive me, I'm a little bit of a detective. 173 00:07:59,351 --> 00:08:01,011 It was a bad breakup? 174 00:08:01,042 --> 00:08:02,602 Pretty bad. 175 00:08:02,622 --> 00:08:06,195 - Bad like there was a big fight? - Bad like there was a big ring. 176 00:08:06,212 --> 00:08:08,619 Bad like this happened in the past year? 177 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,798 Bad like it happened Saturday. 178 00:08:11,764 --> 00:08:14,521 - So bad. - Yeah. 179 00:08:17,108 --> 00:08:18,951 Okay, he's gone. 180 00:08:20,665 --> 00:08:22,718 I'm so sorry, Ted. 181 00:08:22,742 --> 00:08:27,983 I really like you, but I'm-I'm in the weirdest place on Earth right now. 182 00:08:27,995 --> 00:08:30,622 You're in a Scottish-Mexican restaurant? 183 00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:34,402 Yup. Yeah, I am. 184 00:08:35,287 --> 00:08:37,527 It's just too soon for me to be dating. 185 00:08:37,544 --> 00:08:39,857 I think I should head home. 186 00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:44,131 Well, want me to walk with you? 187 00:08:44,151 --> 00:08:46,758 Lots of scary ex-boyfriends in this neighborhood. 188 00:08:46,785 --> 00:08:48,176 Sure. 189 00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:50,528 I do want to hear the rest of that story. 190 00:08:50,541 --> 00:08:52,794 - Right, right the story. - Yeah. 191 00:08:52,819 --> 00:08:56,134 So, we decided to take it to the groom. 192 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,109 - Did you say Gary Blauman? - Yeah. 193 00:08:59,142 --> 00:09:01,748 - Gary Blauman? - Yes. 194 00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:04,600 Blauman... comma, Gary? 195 00:09:04,613 --> 00:09:07,639 Point, comma, get to the damn. 196 00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:09,624 I... 197 00:09:16,205 --> 00:09:18,238 love... 198 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,731 that we have the opportunity to destroy 199 00:09:20,744 --> 00:09:23,550 Gary Blauman's weekend by kicking him out of the wedding! 200 00:09:23,569 --> 00:09:26,438 Yes! Gary Blauman Haters' Club right here! 201 00:09:26,451 --> 00:09:31,657 What that guy did to me. Oh... God! 202 00:09:31,677 --> 00:09:34,490 It makes me furious to this day! 203 00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:38,453 Okay, okay, I'm gonna try and tell this story without completely losing it. 204 00:09:38,473 --> 00:09:40,479 Ready? Okay, here goes. 205 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,463 I was at the... 206 00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:46,935 Nope, not gonna happen. Give me a second. 207 00:09:46,955 --> 00:09:48,510 - Ooh! - Ooh! 208 00:09:48,974 --> 00:09:50,096 I was at the bar. 209 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,989 Hey, Barney! 210 00:09:52,015 --> 00:09:54,962 - What's up, Blauman? Have a seat. - Oh, thanks. 211 00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:56,621 Your fries. 212 00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,479 - Need anything? - I'm good, thanks. 213 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:01,539 Oh, but he was not good, thanks. 214 00:10:01,558 --> 00:10:04,063 He was not good, thanks, at all! 215 00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:07,750 Oh, what? Did he take one of your fries? 216 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,209 Take one? 217 00:10:09,934 --> 00:10:11,438 Take one? 218 00:10:12,557 --> 00:10:13,786 Lily, it would have been one thing 219 00:10:13,799 --> 00:10:15,832 if he took one of my fries; That would have been one thing. 220 00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:18,754 No, Lily, that day, 221 00:10:18,771 --> 00:10:21,291 Blauman took... 222 00:10:24,444 --> 00:10:26,448 ...four of my fries! 223 00:10:26,999 --> 00:10:29,206 But that's not even the capper! 224 00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:31,698 Here's the part that still keeps me up at night: 225 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,707 The fourth fry he took... 226 00:10:33,727 --> 00:10:36,414 The fourth fry he took... 227 00:10:39,358 --> 00:10:42,062 Buddy, you oka... you okay? 228 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,444 The fourth fry he took... 229 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,726 ...was an accidental curly. 230 00:11:02,824 --> 00:11:05,905 You don't take a man's accidental curly. 231 00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:09,595 You take a man's wife before you take his accidental curly. 232 00:11:09,615 --> 00:11:12,229 If you wanted curly fries so bad, 233 00:11:12,249 --> 00:11:14,576 why not just order them in the first place? 234 00:11:14,815 --> 00:11:17,149 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause that's what you want. 235 00:11:17,165 --> 00:11:18,706 All curly fries. 236 00:11:18,732 --> 00:11:21,799 Regular cut with a few accidental curlies. 237 00:11:21,818 --> 00:11:23,711 - That's what you want. - That's the dream. 238 00:11:23,736 --> 00:11:26,223 - He's right. That is the dream. - No! 239 00:11:26,243 --> 00:11:28,530 I refuse to look down from the altar 240 00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:31,327 as I say my vowels to the woman of my dreams, 241 00:11:31,353 --> 00:11:34,582 and see that damned, stupid, 242 00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:38,331 accidental-curly- fry-stealing Gary Blauman! 243 00:11:38,361 --> 00:11:40,481 Did you say Gary Blauman? 244 00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,360 I... 245 00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:45,172 hate... 246 00:11:45,198 --> 00:11:47,059 to disagree with Barney. 247 00:11:47,079 --> 00:11:48,259 But I love that guy! 248 00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:51,156 I just met him earlier today. 249 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:53,109 Oh, my gosh! 250 00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:55,292 - It's you. - Yeah. 251 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,336 You're the poet William Zabka. 252 00:11:58,297 --> 00:12:00,804 Nobody ever recognizes me for my poetry. 253 00:12:01,499 --> 00:12:03,578 He has all six of my collections. 254 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,031 When Terry Gross interviewed me on Fresh Air, 255 00:12:06,056 --> 00:12:07,836 he listened live. 256 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,065 Gary Blauman rules! 257 00:12:10,089 --> 00:12:11,613 Gary Blauman? 258 00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:14,151 I... 259 00:12:15,706 --> 00:12:17,135 hate... 260 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,776 ...that I once thought I loved Gary Blauman. 261 00:12:19,796 --> 00:12:22,439 Ooh, this sounds good. 262 00:12:22,461 --> 00:12:25,361 Gary's the guy that I had an affair with. 263 00:12:25,383 --> 00:12:28,890 Tom found out, threw me out of the house. 264 00:12:28,909 --> 00:12:31,132 Now the kids are from a broken home. 265 00:12:31,804 --> 00:12:33,637 Because of Gary Blauman, 266 00:12:33,662 --> 00:12:37,326 everything that matters to me is gone. 267 00:12:41,256 --> 00:12:43,399 I got that beat. So, I was ordering these fries... 268 00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:46,299 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Blauman's gay? 269 00:12:46,318 --> 00:12:48,371 Well... then that means that night, 270 00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:50,054 the real battle... 271 00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:52,552 was between Blauman... 272 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,331 and the girl. 273 00:12:54,353 --> 00:12:56,514 And the prize... 274 00:12:56,539 --> 00:12:57,699 was this guy. 275 00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,176 Keep telling yourself that, buddy. 276 00:13:00,202 --> 00:13:02,095 I don't want to see Gary Blauman at my brother's wedding. 277 00:13:02,121 --> 00:13:03,421 Neither do I! 278 00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,382 - I'm the brother in question! - Now, now, hold on. 279 00:13:07,616 --> 00:13:09,606 Order! Order! 280 00:13:10,155 --> 00:13:13,611 Robin put this on my plate, and so I'll make the decision. 281 00:13:13,650 --> 00:13:15,930 Now, let's take a short recess. Everybody out. 282 00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:17,344 Okay. 283 00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:20,896 Lily, out of court settlement. 284 00:13:20,909 --> 00:13:22,922 Drop this whole thing, and I'll give you ten bucks. 285 00:13:22,939 --> 00:13:24,758 No. 286 00:13:27,221 --> 00:13:29,218 I can't go higher than ten. 287 00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:34,664 I'm ready to give my decision. 288 00:13:35,573 --> 00:13:38,281 This was a tough one. Lot of good points on both sides. 289 00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:40,375 But ultimately... 290 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,340 - Blauman stays. - Yeah. - What in the...? 291 00:13:42,361 --> 00:13:47,005 For one simple reason. There is a higher law at every wedding. 292 00:13:47,024 --> 00:13:49,740 A law that trumps all other arguments. 293 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:52,181 When the bride asks for something, 294 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,799 - she gets it. - Yes. 295 00:13:54,372 --> 00:13:56,372 - Wow. He's right. - Good point. 296 00:13:56,394 --> 00:13:58,981 This fake court thing is adjourned. 297 00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:00,422 Judged. 298 00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:04,866 Well, I guess let's go find Blauman and tell him the good news. 299 00:14:04,879 --> 00:14:06,946 Yeah, about that. Bit of a wrinkle. 300 00:14:06,966 --> 00:14:09,112 I was just in the hallway, ran into Blauman. 301 00:14:09,132 --> 00:14:10,819 I told him if he didn't leave immediately, 302 00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:14,018 - then Billy Zabka was gonna crane-kick him in the face. - What?! 303 00:14:14,046 --> 00:14:16,139 - But that's not even my move! - I... 304 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,199 We have to stop him. 305 00:14:17,215 --> 00:14:19,588 - Barney! - I... - Come on, come on, come on. 306 00:14:19,615 --> 00:14:21,748 So, we all run out to the parking lot 307 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,537 to stop Gary Blauman from leaving the wedding... 308 00:14:25,523 --> 00:14:26,963 What are you doing? 309 00:14:27,612 --> 00:14:29,382 This is my place. 310 00:14:29,947 --> 00:14:31,466 Oh. 311 00:14:31,732 --> 00:14:33,666 So, uh... 312 00:14:33,693 --> 00:14:36,459 well, I guess this... this is where I leave you. 313 00:14:42,493 --> 00:14:44,600 This is your place. 314 00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:46,037 Yup. 315 00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,845 You sure it's not a few blocks that way? 316 00:14:48,874 --> 00:14:51,521 Nope, it's right here. 317 00:14:51,534 --> 00:14:53,481 It's right where you picked me up. 318 00:14:53,508 --> 00:14:55,358 So it is. 319 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,444 Well... 320 00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:01,690 - good night. - Good night. 321 00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:04,534 Eight years earlier, I probably would've given 322 00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:07,833 some embarrassing speech, confessed my love and scared her off. 323 00:15:07,852 --> 00:15:11,939 But I didn't. Because somehow I just knew this was all gonna work out. 324 00:15:11,963 --> 00:15:13,977 - Ted? - Oh, thank God. 325 00:15:18,077 --> 00:15:21,267 Do you at least want to finish your story? 326 00:15:22,231 --> 00:15:23,698 Right. 327 00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:27,156 So, we all ran out to the parking lot, and... 328 00:15:27,846 --> 00:15:29,746 Blauman, Blauman, I'm sorry. 329 00:15:29,766 --> 00:15:32,085 You can stay. Billy won't kick you in the face. 330 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,172 It's not even my move. If I was gonna do anything, I'd sweep the leg, 331 00:15:35,198 --> 00:15:37,287 and put you in a body bag; Everyone knows that. 332 00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:40,149 What...? Is that from one of your poems? 333 00:15:40,532 --> 00:15:42,185 Thank you for that. 334 00:15:42,214 --> 00:15:44,771 Please stick around, for the bride. 335 00:15:45,489 --> 00:15:47,122 You're not a Taft. Even if you are, 336 00:15:47,142 --> 00:15:48,793 Roosevelt shouldn't have divided the party like that. 337 00:15:48,806 --> 00:15:50,152 I mean, he handed the election to Wilson. 338 00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:52,018 - Completely, right? - Right? Right? 339 00:15:53,471 --> 00:15:56,154 No, wait! No! All right? Forget it! 340 00:15:56,768 --> 00:15:58,161 And, James, 341 00:15:58,186 --> 00:16:00,119 I'm sorry about you and Tom. 342 00:16:00,132 --> 00:16:02,876 But you have to stop blaming me for your own decisions. 343 00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:06,395 Well, guys, take a good look. 344 00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:09,797 This face you won't be seeing again. 345 00:16:11,627 --> 00:16:13,156 Come... 346 00:16:14,386 --> 00:16:16,831 - The bri... the bri... - Gary? 347 00:16:19,958 --> 00:16:21,540 He's really leaving. 348 00:16:21,552 --> 00:16:22,978 Hey, Barney. 349 00:16:23,573 --> 00:16:25,761 You still, uh, have my wedding ring? 350 00:16:27,623 --> 00:16:28,936 Yeah. 351 00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:32,836 I've got some work to do. Excuse me. 352 00:16:36,348 --> 00:16:38,648 Blauman will cool off eventually. We'll see him again. 353 00:16:38,661 --> 00:16:39,768 Of course we will. 354 00:16:39,784 --> 00:16:41,717 I don't know. I mean, 355 00:16:41,736 --> 00:16:43,789 we might really never see him again. 356 00:16:43,815 --> 00:16:46,975 Because I remember at our wedding looking out and thinking, 357 00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:49,998 "Man, everyone here means so much to me." 358 00:16:50,011 --> 00:16:54,084 A bunch of those people, you know, I haven't seen them since. 359 00:16:54,103 --> 00:16:55,903 And that's how it goes, kids. 360 00:16:55,922 --> 00:16:58,496 The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies 361 00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:01,876 and partners in crime you love so much when you're young, 362 00:17:01,892 --> 00:17:03,665 as the years go by, 363 00:17:03,694 --> 00:17:05,633 you just lose touch. 364 00:17:08,219 --> 00:17:11,912 That being said, I did manage to keep track of a few people. 365 00:17:12,876 --> 00:17:15,236 Carl's still behind the bar at MacLaren's. 366 00:17:15,249 --> 00:17:17,043 Hey, watch it over there. 367 00:17:17,055 --> 00:17:18,475 Yeah, watch it over there! 368 00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:20,390 It's become a family business. 369 00:17:20,405 --> 00:17:23,581 Jeanette was arrested for mailing jars of urine to Val Kilmer. 370 00:17:23,594 --> 00:17:25,035 No, not that Val Kilmer. 371 00:17:25,050 --> 00:17:26,717 She narrowly avoided prison time, 372 00:17:26,738 --> 00:17:29,858 but did receive mandatory psychological counseling. 373 00:17:29,878 --> 00:17:31,814 Hello, handsome. 374 00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:36,358 I should say up front, I'm not allowed to date my... 375 00:17:36,365 --> 00:17:37,564 Oh, what the hell. 376 00:17:37,591 --> 00:17:40,324 She and Kevin live in Poughkeepsie now. 377 00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:43,277 Ranjit made a couple really good stock picks, and, well, 378 00:17:43,303 --> 00:17:44,830 he owns the limo service now. 379 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,086 Bitterman, get the car. 380 00:17:47,113 --> 00:17:48,712 Getting the car, sir. 381 00:17:48,725 --> 00:17:51,272 Patrice has her own drive-time radio show. 382 00:17:51,298 --> 00:17:53,125 People call in, she gives advice. 383 00:17:53,144 --> 00:17:56,644 Because sometimes I just feel like he never listens to me, you know? 384 00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:59,023 Gosh, caller, that's a real pickle. 385 00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:00,664 You know, my grandma always says... 386 00:18:00,691 --> 00:18:02,857 Damn it, Patrice, I'm not finished! 387 00:18:02,887 --> 00:18:04,946 Sorry, sorry, go on. 388 00:18:04,965 --> 00:18:07,341 William Zabka became the youngest poet ever 389 00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:10,813 to win the American Humanities Medal for Literature. 390 00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:13,547 He's currently working on a collection of travel essays. 391 00:18:13,571 --> 00:18:14,991 Hyah! 392 00:18:15,172 --> 00:18:17,372 Zoey pops up in the news every now and then 393 00:18:17,395 --> 00:18:19,368 supporting some cause or another. 394 00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:20,981 It doesn't always go well for her. 395 00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,992 The hawk is a majestic creature! 396 00:18:23,011 --> 00:18:24,373 She means you no har... 397 00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:27,090 Aah, no! I'm your friend! I'm helping you! 398 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:30,183 Still, it's nice knowing she's out there fighting the good fight. 399 00:18:30,202 --> 00:18:31,815 Scooter's been married for a while. 400 00:18:31,842 --> 00:18:35,182 Apparently, he met a girl at work, and it was love at first sight. 401 00:18:35,202 --> 00:18:37,911 I guess something about her helped him get over Lily. 402 00:18:37,937 --> 00:18:40,244 You look beautiful today, Jasmine. 403 00:18:40,264 --> 00:18:41,671 Like every day. 404 00:18:41,694 --> 00:18:44,614 Move. I serve sloppy joe now. 405 00:18:44,634 --> 00:18:47,354 Blitz struggled with a gambling addiction for a while. 406 00:18:47,386 --> 00:18:49,973 But after a three-day bender on the same slot machine, 407 00:18:49,993 --> 00:18:51,253 he finally kicked it. 408 00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:52,904 I got to get help. 409 00:18:58,735 --> 00:19:01,082 Yes! 410 00:19:01,095 --> 00:19:03,466 Aw, man! 411 00:19:03,488 --> 00:19:05,435 I'm not sure what happened to Blah Blah. 412 00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:08,103 But I'd like to think that wherever she is, she... 413 00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:10,283 Carol! Her name was Carol! 414 00:19:10,302 --> 00:19:11,736 Thank you. 415 00:19:11,755 --> 00:19:13,981 Sandy Rivers' inappropriate office behavior 416 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,974 finally caught up with him, ending his news career... 417 00:19:16,995 --> 00:19:18,055 in America. 418 00:19:29,895 --> 00:19:32,014 He hasn't changed. 419 00:19:32,027 --> 00:19:36,283 It took some doing, but James finally convinced Tom to take him back. 420 00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:39,963 And nobody's happier about it than their kids. 421 00:19:40,518 --> 00:19:44,483 Hey, kids, have I ever told you how I met your father? 422 00:19:44,996 --> 00:19:46,603 It was at a party. 423 00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:49,730 And as for Blauman... 424 00:19:52,435 --> 00:19:54,422 Guys, wait! 425 00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:56,129 I'm sorry for storming off like that. 426 00:19:56,142 --> 00:19:58,009 I don't want to miss this wedding. 427 00:19:58,029 --> 00:19:59,582 You will be shocked, kids, 428 00:19:59,595 --> 00:20:01,672 when you discover how easy it is in life 429 00:20:01,698 --> 00:20:04,473 to part ways with people forever. 430 00:20:04,489 --> 00:20:09,149 That's why when you find someone you want to keep around, 431 00:20:09,165 --> 00:20:10,912 you do something about it. 432 00:20:10,931 --> 00:20:12,909 So, I guess... 433 00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:15,368 good night. 434 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,109 Good night. 435 00:20:36,606 --> 00:20:38,559 Unless... 436 00:20:38,577 --> 00:20:41,639 do you want to walk around some more? It's still early. 437 00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:45,734 Sure. 438 00:20:51,847 --> 00:20:53,640 What are you doing? 439 00:20:55,973 --> 00:20:57,927 Remembering this. 440 00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:01,649 Come on. 441 00:21:06,869 --> 00:21:11,869 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther