1
00:00:02,226 --> 00:00:03,666
Can I get you guys
anything to drink?
2
00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:04,882
BOTH:
Scotch, neat.
3
00:00:04,884 --> 00:00:05,532
Jinx.
4
00:00:05,534 --> 00:00:06,667
(gasps)
5
00:00:08,804 --> 00:00:11,472
Oh, my...
6
00:00:11,474 --> 00:00:13,724
God.
7
00:00:13,826 --> 00:00:16,544
NARRATOR: Kids, you may be wondering
why five adults
8
00:00:16,546 --> 00:00:19,680
in their 30s would take
a jinx so seriously.
9
00:00:19,682 --> 00:00:22,316
It all started one day
five years ago.
10
00:00:22,318 --> 00:00:23,834
Ooh, Van Helsing.
Ooh, Van Helsing.
11
00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:26,053
Jinx. You're jinxed.
12
00:00:26,055 --> 00:00:27,788
That means that you
can't speak until someone
13
00:00:27,790 --> 00:00:29,656
who was present for the
jinx says your name,
14
00:00:29,658 --> 00:00:30,491
or else
15
00:00:30,493 --> 00:00:32,493
you will have
very bad luck.
16
00:00:32,495 --> 00:00:33,794
(scoffs)
That's ridiculous.
17
00:00:33,796 --> 00:00:34,962
(both gasp)
18
00:00:34,964 --> 00:00:36,347
You broke the jinx.
19
00:00:36,349 --> 00:00:38,215
Marshall, I'm a grown-ass man.
20
00:00:38,217 --> 00:00:40,217
I'm on my building's
co-op board.
21
00:00:40,219 --> 00:00:43,137
When I say a Pinot Noir tastes
luxuriously earthy
22
00:00:43,139 --> 00:00:45,556
with a hint of rhubarb,
I'm not faking it.
23
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:46,691
I've had several
24
00:00:46,693 --> 00:00:49,026
of the same sexual partners
as Henry Kissinger.
25
00:00:49,028 --> 00:00:52,146
I'm not about to stop talking
just because I was jinxed.
26
00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:55,533
NARRATOR:
Barney broke three limbs
27
00:00:55,535 --> 00:00:56,701
and two vertebrae,
28
00:00:56,703 --> 00:00:58,386
but he never broke
another jinx.
29
00:00:58,388 --> 00:01:01,655
In fact, he started taking
jinxes way too seriously.
30
00:01:01,657 --> 00:01:04,191
Barney, I'm on hold
with Sports Talk AM
31
00:01:04,193 --> 00:01:06,527
to talk to my childhood hero
from the Minnesota Twins.
32
00:01:06,529 --> 00:01:07,545
Who's your childhood hero?
33
00:01:07,547 --> 00:01:09,196
Frank Viola. Frank Viola--
jinx!
34
00:01:09,198 --> 00:01:11,215
(over phone):
Hello, this is Frank.
35
00:01:11,217 --> 00:01:12,299
Anyone there?
36
00:01:12,301 --> 00:01:13,367
Hello?
37
00:01:13,369 --> 00:01:16,587
I can hear you breathing,
you coward.
38
00:01:17,756 --> 00:01:19,757
NARRATOR: So, when someone
finally jinxed Barney
39
00:01:19,759 --> 00:01:21,125
for the first time in years,
40
00:01:21,127 --> 00:01:22,876
we were pretty psyched.
41
00:01:22,878 --> 00:01:24,562
The reign of terror is over!
42
00:01:24,564 --> 00:01:26,931
I've had this cigar
in my pocket for two years,
43
00:01:26,933 --> 00:01:29,517
waiting for this moment.
44
00:01:29,519 --> 00:01:32,987
Aw, that would've been good
about two years ago.
45
00:01:32,989 --> 00:01:35,055
Cheers.
46
00:01:35,057 --> 00:01:35,990
(all whooping)
47
00:01:35,992 --> 00:01:37,575
Huzzah!
Huzzah.
48
00:01:37,577 --> 00:01:40,745
LILY: Oh, oh, oh, you want us
to say your name
49
00:01:40,747 --> 00:01:42,396
and un-jinx you?
50
00:01:42,398 --> 00:01:43,664
I don't think so, pal.
51
00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:46,117
This is gonna
be a long jinx.
52
00:01:46,119 --> 00:01:48,169
Like Yom Kippur
services long.
53
00:01:48,171 --> 00:01:50,755
The only difference is,
Yom Kippur's a fast
54
00:01:50,757 --> 00:01:53,040
and this one's
gonna be a slow.
55
00:01:53,042 --> 00:01:54,792
Oh!
ROBIN: Now, Ted,
56
00:01:54,794 --> 00:01:57,911
I was wondering if you could
expand upon what you were saying
57
00:01:57,913 --> 00:02:00,247
earlier about
antiquated currency.
58
00:02:00,249 --> 00:02:01,515
Ah, yes, yes.
59
00:02:01,517 --> 00:02:03,384
Contrary to popular belief,
60
00:02:03,386 --> 00:02:06,687
the buffalo nickel was modeled
on the Black Diamond bison
61
00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:10,357
rather than the more iconic
Western Plains bison.
62
00:02:10,359 --> 00:02:11,692
To wit,
63
00:02:11,694 --> 00:02:13,260
if President Taft
had had his way,
64
00:02:13,262 --> 00:02:15,681
we'd all be talking
about the egret nickel.
65
00:02:15,682 --> 00:02:19,682
♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x11 ♪
The Final Page, Part One
Original Air Date on December 17, 2012
66
00:02:19,683 --> 00:02:23,683
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
67
00:02:31,074 --> 00:02:33,759
NARRATOR: In the winter of 2012
the skyscraper
68
00:02:33,761 --> 00:02:35,878
that I designed was
about to open,
69
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,130
which got me thinking
about the most influential
70
00:02:38,132 --> 00:02:40,349
architecture professor
I ever had.
71
00:02:40,351 --> 00:02:44,019
So when the children
of our grandchildren's children
72
00:02:44,021 --> 00:02:47,356
ask us "Who were we,"
they'll find the answer carved
73
00:02:47,358 --> 00:02:51,977
into the granite poetry
of our architecture.
74
00:02:51,979 --> 00:02:53,896
Okay.
75
00:02:53,898 --> 00:02:56,282
It doesn't get any
better than that.
76
00:02:56,284 --> 00:02:58,934
Class dismissed.
77
00:03:01,571 --> 00:03:05,374
Wow, just wow.
78
00:03:05,376 --> 00:03:06,575
Do you need something?
79
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,827
I have an apple I was hoping
to eat in silence.
80
00:03:08,829 --> 00:03:11,780
Of course,
Professor Vinick, I, um,
81
00:03:11,782 --> 00:03:13,615
I-I sketched out a design,
82
00:03:13,617 --> 00:03:15,751
and it'd be such an honor
if you took a look at it.
83
00:03:15,753 --> 00:03:18,053
Oh, well.
84
00:03:18,055 --> 00:03:19,221
It is believed
85
00:03:19,223 --> 00:03:24,226
that it took the pharaohs
over 100 years
86
00:03:24,228 --> 00:03:26,011
to build the Sphinx.
87
00:03:26,863 --> 00:03:29,164
So...
88
00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:30,465
you think...
89
00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:32,434
I should spend more time on it?
90
00:03:32,436 --> 00:03:33,852
Oh, dear God, no.
91
00:03:33,854 --> 00:03:35,070
This is terrible.
92
00:03:35,072 --> 00:03:37,439
Then, why'd you mention
the Sphinx?
93
00:03:37,441 --> 00:03:39,191
(laughs)
94
00:03:39,193 --> 00:03:42,778
I find my mind is
often with the Sphinx.
95
00:03:42,780 --> 00:03:45,531
Anyway, you'll never
be an architect.
96
00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:47,149
You'll never be an architect.
97
00:03:47,151 --> 00:03:48,483
You'll never
be an architect.
98
00:03:48,485 --> 00:03:50,986
(laughing):
You'll never be an architect!
99
00:03:50,988 --> 00:03:51,887
Well, guess what.
100
00:03:51,889 --> 00:03:53,372
I sent Professor Vinick
101
00:03:53,374 --> 00:03:55,157
the invitation
to the opening of my building,
102
00:03:55,159 --> 00:03:57,126
so he'll see that
I did become an architect,
103
00:03:57,128 --> 00:03:59,294
and that I've moved past
his petty, hurtful words.
104
00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:01,130
ROBIN:
Wow.
105
00:04:01,132 --> 00:04:02,497
15 years later and you're
still this obsessed.
106
00:04:02,499 --> 00:04:04,266
Yeah, if Vinick ever
goes missing,
107
00:04:04,268 --> 00:04:06,635
the cops are gonna come looking
for him in your basement.
108
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:09,388
Totally, he's Ted's pit guy.
109
00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:11,106
How dare you?
110
00:04:11,108 --> 00:04:12,141
And what is that?
111
00:04:12,143 --> 00:04:13,809
A pit guy is someone
112
00:04:13,811 --> 00:04:16,028
you've been obsessed with
for so long...
113
00:04:16,030 --> 00:04:17,679
that it's driven you
crazy enough
114
00:04:17,681 --> 00:04:19,681
to throw them
in a pit in your basement
115
00:04:19,683 --> 00:04:21,617
like in The Silence
of the Lambs.
116
00:04:21,619 --> 00:04:25,120
(screaming)
117
00:04:25,122 --> 00:04:27,039
(laughing)
118
00:04:27,041 --> 00:04:29,491
I'm not gonna Silence
of the Lambs him.
119
00:04:29,493 --> 00:04:30,709
At most,
120
00:04:30,711 --> 00:04:32,661
I'd Revenge of the Nerds him.
121
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:34,529
Though I don't see
a scenario where he agrees
122
00:04:34,531 --> 00:04:35,964
to play me in a pentathlon.
123
00:04:35,966 --> 00:04:38,867
Yeah, I'm with Ted-- there
is no one I hate enough
124
00:04:38,869 --> 00:04:40,502
to throw into a pit.
125
00:04:41,037 --> 00:04:42,871
What?
126
00:04:42,873 --> 00:04:45,424
NARRATOR: When Robin's most hated
coworker Patrice
127
00:04:45,426 --> 00:04:46,592
started dating Barney,
128
00:04:46,594 --> 00:04:48,477
she became obsessed.
129
00:04:48,479 --> 00:04:51,013
Patrice, Patrice goes
in your pit.
130
00:04:51,015 --> 00:04:54,650
Guys, I told you, I am done
obsessing about Patrice.
131
00:04:54,652 --> 00:04:55,884
Just drop her.
132
00:04:55,886 --> 00:04:56,935
Drop her in a pit.
133
00:04:56,937 --> 00:04:58,187
Enough.
134
00:04:58,189 --> 00:05:00,555
We all have people that
we would throw in our pits,
135
00:05:00,557 --> 00:05:02,724
and I'm sure we all have people
136
00:05:02,726 --> 00:05:05,527
who would like to throw us
in their pits.
137
00:05:05,529 --> 00:05:07,413
Yeah, if Marshall
or I ever go missing,
138
00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:09,531
I'll tell you whose
basement to look in.
139
00:05:09,533 --> 00:05:11,250
Daryl LaCourte.
140
00:05:11,252 --> 00:05:12,334
Oh, no.
141
00:05:12,336 --> 00:05:13,585
It's creepy Daryl.
142
00:05:13,587 --> 00:05:14,503
Let's get out of here
before he sees us.
143
00:05:14,505 --> 00:05:16,955
Hey, hot sack
coming through.
144
00:05:16,957 --> 00:05:18,740
Ha... ha...
145
00:05:18,742 --> 00:05:20,592
Hi, Daryl. Hey, Daryl.
Hey!
146
00:05:20,594 --> 00:05:22,878
I feel like I never see
you guys anymore.
147
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,264
Like whenever I'm getting
to a party, you're just leaving.
148
00:05:25,266 --> 00:05:26,298
Even that party
149
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:28,016
at your place--
you guys just raced off
150
00:05:28,018 --> 00:05:29,518
into the night at 7:30.
151
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,519
That's weird.
152
00:05:30,521 --> 00:05:31,419
But this is
153
00:05:31,421 --> 00:05:33,255
great-- the three hackmigos
154
00:05:33,257 --> 00:05:34,973
back together again.
155
00:05:36,309 --> 00:05:39,427
We played Hacky Sack together
once freshman year, Daryl.
156
00:05:39,429 --> 00:05:40,929
Once.
157
00:05:40,931 --> 00:05:42,698
November 14, 1996.
158
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:43,765
That is the best memory ever.
159
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:44,783
Sure.
160
00:05:44,785 --> 00:05:46,435
(grunts)
161
00:05:46,437 --> 00:05:49,071
The three hackmigos
for life.
162
00:05:49,073 --> 00:05:51,123
To this day, we are
still getting e-mails
163
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:52,991
and posts from Daryl.
164
00:05:52,993 --> 00:05:55,277
He has commented
on every photo
165
00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,663
of Baby Marvin
we have ever posted,
166
00:05:57,665 --> 00:05:58,714
and then
167
00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:02,367
he comments on his own comments.
168
00:06:02,369 --> 00:06:03,385
(door opens)
169
00:06:03,387 --> 00:06:05,838
(all clamoring excitedly)
170
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,207
Hey, guys, look,
it's Bar...
171
00:06:08,209 --> 00:06:09,457
none, my favorite
172
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:10,458
non-speaking
173
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:12,094
jinxed person
in the world.
174
00:06:12,096 --> 00:06:12,945
How was
175
00:06:12,947 --> 00:06:14,596
your day?
176
00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:37,920
Yeah, I didn't get
a word of that.
177
00:06:37,922 --> 00:06:39,487
Sorry, buddy.
178
00:06:39,489 --> 00:06:42,758
Ah, Scherbatsky, it's
my favorite time of year.
179
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,492
Didn't know
you liked Christmas so much.
180
00:06:44,494 --> 00:06:46,161
No, year-end reviews.
181
00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:47,679
We get to fire some people.
182
00:06:47,681 --> 00:06:49,848
Get into the spirit.
183
00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:52,000
Look, Sandy, you might
enjoy firing people
184
00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:53,352
for petty personal differences.
185
00:06:53,354 --> 00:06:55,270
I'd hardly call giving
me gonorrhea
186
00:06:55,272 --> 00:06:57,105
a petty personal difference.
187
00:06:57,107 --> 00:06:58,440
But I am a professional,
188
00:06:58,442 --> 00:07:00,776
and I would never fire someone
for unprofessional reasons.
189
00:07:00,778 --> 00:07:02,561
Well, somebody's got to go.
190
00:07:02,563 --> 00:07:05,230
NARRATOR: Kids, the thing
about pit people,
191
00:07:05,232 --> 00:07:07,015
sometimes you don't
even know you have one
192
00:07:07,017 --> 00:07:09,568
until you have
a chance to push 'em in.
193
00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:11,103
Hi, Robin.
194
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,024
Not happening, bro.
195
00:07:18,211 --> 00:07:20,412
Not happening, bro.
196
00:07:22,048 --> 00:07:24,750
Hand get tired?
197
00:07:24,752 --> 00:07:26,835
Not happening, bro.
198
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:29,137
I hold in my hand
199
00:07:29,139 --> 00:07:31,539
the RSVP from Professor Vinick.
200
00:07:31,541 --> 00:07:32,641
Uh-huh.
201
00:07:32,643 --> 00:07:34,209
Ah, he's checked
202
00:07:34,211 --> 00:07:35,844
"Will not attend,"
which is fine,
203
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,564
because all I needed
to know was that he knows.
204
00:07:38,566 --> 00:07:42,568
So now I will throw this in
the trash and never look at it.
205
00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:44,386
What's this?
206
00:07:44,388 --> 00:07:46,321
"I believe you've sent this
to the wrong person.
207
00:07:46,323 --> 00:07:49,241
I have no idea
who Ted Mosby is."
208
00:07:49,243 --> 00:07:52,444
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
209
00:07:53,913 --> 00:07:56,331
Oh, you'll remember who I am,
Professor Vinick.
210
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,401
You'll never forget it.
211
00:07:59,403 --> 00:08:01,587
Not happening, bro.
212
00:08:04,643 --> 00:08:06,358
Ted, just because we're coming
with you to Wesleyan
213
00:08:06,458 --> 00:08:08,178
does not mean that we condone
your behavior.
214
00:08:08,292 --> 00:08:10,009
Just using it as an excuse
215
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:12,895
to see the old campus...
216
00:08:12,897 --> 00:08:15,231
and maybe watch you have
a complete mental breakdown.
217
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:18,534
What are you even gonna do
when you see Professor Vinick?
218
00:08:18,536 --> 00:08:20,936
Oh, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
219
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:26,809
Sweet merciful Franks Gehry
and Lloyd Wright,
220
00:08:26,811 --> 00:08:30,062
from what brilliant mind was
this work of art sired?
221
00:08:30,064 --> 00:08:31,614
Mosby.
222
00:08:31,616 --> 00:08:34,533
Ted Mosby.
223
00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:37,319
(coughing):
Architect.
224
00:08:37,321 --> 00:08:38,370
But that's-that's...
225
00:08:38,372 --> 00:08:40,239
Impossible?
226
00:08:40,241 --> 00:08:42,658
Looks like
you were wrong, Vinick.
227
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:45,494
Dead wrong.
228
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,385
(distorted):
No!
229
00:08:54,588 --> 00:08:56,288
(yells)
230
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:57,389
(laughs)
231
00:08:57,391 --> 00:08:59,175
Be careful, Ted.
232
00:08:59,177 --> 00:09:03,145
Revenge fantasies never
work out the way you want.
233
00:09:03,147 --> 00:09:05,564
Especially dance-
based revenge.
234
00:09:06,566 --> 00:09:07,633
My prom was rough, guys.
235
00:09:07,635 --> 00:09:08,984
LILY:
Ooh!
236
00:09:08,986 --> 00:09:10,069
We're almost there.
237
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,238
Oh, I can't wait
to see the old campus.
238
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,107
I'm gonna grab one of those
giant dining hall hot dogs.
239
00:09:15,109 --> 00:09:17,142
Oh, I love those huge wieners.
240
00:09:19,312 --> 00:09:21,313
I'm not so sure you heard me.
241
00:09:21,315 --> 00:09:25,201
I said, "I love
those huge wieners."
242
00:09:25,203 --> 00:09:26,368
I love them.
243
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:27,586
In my mouth.
244
00:09:29,456 --> 00:09:33,175
So, let me ask you a few
questions, Clarice... Patrice.
245
00:09:33,177 --> 00:09:35,544
How would you rate
your performance
246
00:09:35,546 --> 00:09:37,346
in the last six months?
247
00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:39,215
Well, I don't like
to talk about myself,
248
00:09:39,217 --> 00:09:41,884
but all my coworkers deserve
an A-double-plus,
249
00:09:41,886 --> 00:09:43,302
that's for suresies.
250
00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:44,470
Ooh,
251
00:09:44,472 --> 00:09:46,222
fancy lotion.
252
00:09:46,224 --> 00:09:49,608
It puts the lotion
in the basket.
253
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:52,478
It's just, this is
really nice lotion.
254
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,280
And what a pretty basket, Robin.
255
00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:56,899
I know, that's why
I bought it, Patrice!
256
00:09:58,535 --> 00:10:00,236
Man, it's like
257
00:10:00,238 --> 00:10:01,871
nothing has changed.
Mmm, I know.
258
00:10:01,873 --> 00:10:05,491
The bun, the relish.
259
00:10:09,329 --> 00:10:10,829
That's a knee.
260
00:10:10,831 --> 00:10:12,665
It's a beautifully
drawn knee, so?
261
00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:21,039
That's a barn.
262
00:10:21,641 --> 00:10:24,710
Oh, knee barn, right.
263
00:10:24,712 --> 00:10:25,594
That's a great idea, Lily.
264
00:10:25,596 --> 00:10:26,979
On the way home,
we should stop
265
00:10:26,981 --> 00:10:28,013
at the knee barn,
266
00:10:28,015 --> 00:10:29,815
pick us up some wholesale knees.
Yeah.
267
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,552
MAN:
Marshall? Lily!
268
00:10:33,554 --> 00:10:35,938
You... you're here.
269
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:39,108
Hi, Daryl.
(quietly): Hi, Daryl.
270
00:10:39,110 --> 00:10:40,075
Hi.
271
00:10:40,077 --> 00:10:41,527
Wow,
272
00:10:41,529 --> 00:10:42,912
after all these years.
273
00:10:42,914 --> 00:10:45,397
You look just like you do
in my paintings.
274
00:10:46,666 --> 00:10:48,867
Come here, guys.
(grunts)
275
00:10:50,086 --> 00:10:52,738
There are men
and there are gods.
276
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:55,791
Antoni Gaudí was both.
277
00:10:55,793 --> 00:10:58,544
TED: There are jerk faces
and there are buttholes.
278
00:10:58,546 --> 00:11:01,263
Professor Vinick was both.
279
00:11:01,265 --> 00:11:02,881
Good one, Ted.
280
00:11:02,883 --> 00:11:06,418
Come on, Vinick,
give me an opening.
281
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,253
Gaudí's architecture
gave expression
282
00:11:08,255 --> 00:11:12,358
to the anarchic geometric form
of nature.
283
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,960
TED (mocking):
"Gaudí's architecture..."
284
00:11:14,962 --> 00:11:17,529
Actually, that's
a really good point.
285
00:11:17,531 --> 00:11:20,766
♪ Wow, Professor Vinick
286
00:11:20,768 --> 00:11:23,702
♪ Man, you taught me so much
287
00:11:23,704 --> 00:11:26,405
♪ About architecture and life
288
00:11:26,407 --> 00:11:29,575
♪ God, your lectures
are so cool ♪
289
00:11:29,577 --> 00:11:34,079
♪ I'll earn your respect
and we'll be best friends. ♪
290
00:11:34,081 --> 00:11:38,450
Okay, it doesn't get
any better than that.
291
00:11:38,452 --> 00:11:41,503
(sniffles)
No, it doesn't.
292
00:11:41,505 --> 00:11:44,506
What are you
doing here, Daryl?
293
00:11:44,508 --> 00:11:47,226
Well, I live
right down the street.
294
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,228
But I work
right here.
295
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,730
Whoa.
Oh, boy.
296
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,184
MARSHALL:
Are those...
297
00:11:55,186 --> 00:11:58,020
(clears throat) ...our,
our faces up there, buddy?
298
00:11:58,022 --> 00:11:59,071
Hack, yeah!
299
00:11:59,073 --> 00:12:01,106
It was just as much
your idea as mine
300
00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:03,609
to open up a Hacky Sack store
here at Wesleyan.
301
00:12:03,611 --> 00:12:05,661
So you never left?
302
00:12:05,663 --> 00:12:07,329
Once. I met a girl
on Craigslist,
303
00:12:07,331 --> 00:12:10,032
and I flew to Boston
to meet her.
304
00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:12,418
She was a man, 300 pounds,
and robbed me.
305
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:14,687
Still, the best
night of my life.
306
00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,205
Until now!
307
00:12:16,207 --> 00:12:18,707
The three hackmigos
back together again!
308
00:12:18,709 --> 00:12:21,694
You know, I've been waiting
forever to give you something.
309
00:12:21,696 --> 00:12:23,178
You're coming with me
to my house,
310
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:25,097
and I'm not taking no
for an answer.
311
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,634
BARNEY:
Dude, this is your chance.
312
00:12:28,636 --> 00:12:30,886
Set me free,
and I will lie you out
313
00:12:30,888 --> 00:12:32,021
of this creepynightmare.
314
00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:33,672
MARSHALL:
This is a tough one.
315
00:12:33,674 --> 00:12:35,641
On the one hand, we might die.
316
00:12:35,643 --> 00:12:38,143
On the other, you're jinxed.
317
00:12:38,145 --> 00:12:40,145
BARNEY:
Let me free, Marshall.
318
00:12:40,147 --> 00:12:42,314
This guy could be violent.
319
00:12:42,316 --> 00:12:45,484
MARSHALL:
Violent... Viola...
320
00:12:45,486 --> 00:12:47,453
Frank Viola.
321
00:12:47,455 --> 00:12:52,157
We would love to come
to your house, Daryl!
322
00:12:52,159 --> 00:12:54,243
Yeah!
323
00:12:54,245 --> 00:12:56,228
Okay, um...
324
00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:58,864
how often are you
and Barney doing it?
325
00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,133
That's a strange question,
Robin.
326
00:13:01,135 --> 00:13:03,034
You're right.
327
00:13:03,036 --> 00:13:04,803
Maybe I should leave.
328
00:13:04,805 --> 00:13:06,371
Yeah, maybe
you should.
329
00:13:06,373 --> 00:13:07,506
You're fired.
330
00:13:08,725 --> 00:13:12,311
Wow. Just wow.
331
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,481
Ted Mosby.
I'm a former student of yours.
332
00:13:15,483 --> 00:13:18,183
You know, I actually became
an architect.
333
00:13:18,818 --> 00:13:20,069
Any chance you remember me?
334
00:13:20,071 --> 00:13:22,738
Oh, please excuse me, I've been
teaching for over 20 years.
335
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:25,574
All the faces start
to blend together
336
00:13:25,576 --> 00:13:28,727
unless you have a, a weird
mustache or, or something.
337
00:13:28,729 --> 00:13:31,363
Junior year I tried
to grow muttonchops,
338
00:13:31,365 --> 00:13:34,366
but people kept saying
my face made them nauseous.
339
00:13:34,368 --> 00:13:37,002
Well, not people. You.
340
00:13:37,754 --> 00:13:40,205
Anay, I would be honored
if you,
341
00:13:40,207 --> 00:13:42,458
if you took a look
at my building.
342
00:13:45,428 --> 00:13:46,879
This...
343
00:13:46,881 --> 00:13:49,548
is hideous.
344
00:13:50,517 --> 00:13:51,800
You'll never be an architect.
345
00:13:51,802 --> 00:13:53,435
(echoing):
You'll never be an architect.
346
00:13:53,437 --> 00:13:55,888
You'll never be an architect.
You'll never be an architect!
347
00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:57,189
You'll never be an architect.
348
00:13:57,191 --> 00:13:59,858
Wait. I was mistaken.
349
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:02,227
You most definitely
will be an architect.
350
00:14:02,229 --> 00:14:03,395
Really?
351
00:14:03,397 --> 00:14:04,763
These are astonishing,
352
00:14:04,765 --> 00:14:07,733
Handlebar Pete.
353
00:14:10,005 --> 00:14:12,674
So, when you said
"surprise in your house,"
354
00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:16,211
what you really meant was
"surprise in the poorly lit
355
00:14:16,213 --> 00:14:18,094
windowless basement
of your house."
356
00:14:18,095 --> 00:14:20,763
Oh, you guys are gonna love
what I have to show you.
357
00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:24,683
I am so excited, I could just
cry and laugh and scream
358
00:14:24,685 --> 00:14:26,058
and just punch the wall
359
00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:28,146
over and over and over
and over and over!
360
00:14:29,474 --> 00:14:30,857
Could we just see it,
361
00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:32,091
like, up in the
living room
362
00:14:32,093 --> 00:14:36,396
or anywhere less...
gimp-storagey?
363
00:14:36,398 --> 00:14:37,614
(laughs)
I just realized
364
00:14:37,616 --> 00:14:40,366
I want to take
a picture of this.
365
00:14:40,368 --> 00:14:42,819
I want to put your faces
on my mantel like a trophy.
366
00:14:42,821 --> 00:14:44,204
Like a trophy!
367
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:49,959
Aah...!
Aah...!
368
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:56,012
(singsongy):
Here I come.
369
00:14:56,014 --> 00:15:00,569
And I've got your surprise
right here!
370
00:15:00,669 --> 00:15:02,652
No! We don't want
your surprise, Daryl!
371
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:04,871
We're not your amigos,
372
00:15:04,873 --> 00:15:06,573
we're definitely
not your hackmigos.
373
00:15:06,575 --> 00:15:08,308
And before you murder us,
374
00:15:08,310 --> 00:15:10,677
you should know
that we have a child!
375
00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:12,845
He probably has
eight or nine!
376
00:15:12,847 --> 00:15:15,014
What? Murder?
377
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:17,967
I wanted to give you a check.
378
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:21,387
For $100,000...
379
00:15:21,389 --> 00:15:24,524
for coming up with the idea
of the Three Hackmigos with me.
380
00:15:25,643 --> 00:15:28,678
I brought you down here
to show you all my inventory.
381
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,899
Business has really exploded.
382
00:15:32,901 --> 00:15:34,367
(laughs)
383
00:15:34,369 --> 00:15:36,352
I mean, I'm sort
of the Mark Zuckerberg
384
00:15:36,354 --> 00:15:39,372
of jam-band concert
parking lot athletics.
385
00:15:39,374 --> 00:15:40,490
Well, second.
386
00:15:40,985 --> 00:15:43,619
But I'm coming for you,
Devil Stick Ron.
387
00:15:43,621 --> 00:15:46,672
(screaming)
388
00:15:46,676 --> 00:15:48,277
Why would you fire me?
389
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:50,696
Because nobody should be
as happy as you are.
390
00:15:51,815 --> 00:15:56,569
And also your cookies...
they're only pretty good.
391
00:15:56,571 --> 00:15:58,955
(gasps)
392
00:16:01,075 --> 00:16:03,626
Robin, is this really about me?
393
00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:07,797
(voice breaking):
No, it's not.
394
00:16:13,036 --> 00:16:17,974
The old "fire and bang."
Respect, Scherbatsky.
395
00:16:20,627 --> 00:16:23,711
Hey, Ted, I see you're holding
a little version of your building.
396
00:16:24,327 --> 00:16:26,194
So I assume it all worked out?
397
00:16:26,196 --> 00:16:29,063
I realized, since I work
in a three-dimensional medium,
398
00:16:29,065 --> 00:16:31,532
the only way to really stick it
to Vinick would be
399
00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:33,418
with a three-dimensional model.
400
00:16:33,420 --> 00:16:35,370
Whatever you do,
don't march in there
401
00:16:35,372 --> 00:16:37,372
thinking, "I'm
gonna do the worm.
402
00:16:37,374 --> 00:16:38,423
That'll show 'em!"
403
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:40,375
Seriously, guys,
404
00:16:40,377 --> 00:16:42,844
I can't stress enough
how bad my prom was.
405
00:16:42,846 --> 00:16:45,046
Speaking of the past...
406
00:16:45,048 --> 00:16:48,349
Wow, we feel like idiots.
We're sorry.
407
00:16:48,351 --> 00:16:50,802
You know, honestly,
it's fine.
408
00:16:50,804 --> 00:16:52,520
Look how great I'm doing.
409
00:16:52,522 --> 00:16:54,355
Look at what I've built.
I don't need
410
00:16:54,357 --> 00:16:55,923
the validation
of some people from college
411
00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:57,141
to feel good about myself.
412
00:16:57,143 --> 00:16:59,394
My life is amazing!
413
00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:02,263
I own a timeshare in
St. Barts with P-Funk!
414
00:17:02,265 --> 00:17:03,931
The, the whole band?
415
00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:05,433
Yeah.
416
00:17:05,435 --> 00:17:07,602
Do you guys jam?
417
00:17:07,604 --> 00:17:11,105
That's all we do.
418
00:17:11,107 --> 00:17:12,373
(all gasp)
419
00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:13,624
So, you completely rejected
420
00:17:13,626 --> 00:17:14,909
the guy who's been obsessing
421
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:18,713
about you for 16 years,
and he was okay with it?
422
00:17:18,715 --> 00:17:20,114
Whoa.
423
00:17:20,116 --> 00:17:23,784
Is creepy Daryl more emotionally
adjusted than I am?
424
00:17:23,786 --> 00:17:25,887
NARRATOR:
Kids, sometimes in life
425
00:17:25,889 --> 00:17:28,139
you'll make a pit
for someone in your mind.
426
00:17:28,141 --> 00:17:33,478
But ultimately the only person
in that pit is yourself.
427
00:17:34,313 --> 00:17:36,797
I'm sorry.
428
00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:39,800
Just seeing you with Barney
has brought up
429
00:17:39,802 --> 00:17:41,786
some old feelings,
and I...
430
00:17:41,788 --> 00:17:43,855
I really don't like feelings.
431
00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:47,992
But that's not your fault
or Barney's fault.
432
00:17:48,977 --> 00:17:51,412
It's just really hard
seeing you with him.
433
00:17:51,414 --> 00:17:54,916
♪ There's been a book
on the side of the bed... ♪
434
00:17:54,918 --> 00:17:57,335
NARRATOR: Which means there's
only one person
435
00:17:57,337 --> 00:18:00,455
who can let you out of the pit.
436
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:07,428
♪ Many years from now
437
00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:10,548
♪ I know you'll hear me
somehow... ♪
438
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:13,834
So you fired Patrice?
439
00:18:13,836 --> 00:18:15,853
No, she's staying.
440
00:18:17,773 --> 00:18:21,509
♪ The places we will go...
441
00:18:22,194 --> 00:18:25,480
Let's get out of here, guys.
442
00:18:25,482 --> 00:18:27,532
Oh, Mr. Mosby.
443
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:29,367
You built a model
of your building.
444
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:30,368
No.
445
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:33,204
Why? To prove
some sort of point?
446
00:18:33,206 --> 00:18:34,455
This is just sad.
447
00:18:34,457 --> 00:18:36,157
No, no,
I was just throwing it out.
448
00:18:36,159 --> 00:18:38,543
Sure, you were.
449
00:18:38,545 --> 00:18:39,877
No!
450
00:18:39,879 --> 00:18:42,505
No, I-I-I had a
transcendent moment
451
00:18:42,506 --> 00:18:45,157
where I found emotional clarity!
452
00:18:45,159 --> 00:18:46,542
And I realize shouting that
453
00:18:46,544 --> 00:18:49,511
makes it seem like
it's not true, but I did!
454
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,381
Yeah, we're gonna grab
some snacks.
455
00:18:52,383 --> 00:18:54,049
You guys want anything?
456
00:18:55,852 --> 00:18:56,886
Spicy beef jerky.
457
00:18:56,888 --> 00:18:59,004
Got you loud and clear.
458
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,307
(sighs)
459
00:19:05,028 --> 00:19:06,278
Oh, my God!
Barney!
460
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,646
You unjinxed me!
461
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:09,198
I'm free! If the bison
462
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,200
on the nickel could hear you
talk about them,
463
00:19:11,202 --> 00:19:13,319
they would diminish their
population even further on purpose.
464
00:19:13,321 --> 00:19:15,905
If Lily wants a big wiener in
her mouth, she's got my number.
465
00:19:15,907 --> 00:19:18,123
And I'm sorry that you took the
rap for all the farting on
466
00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:19,992
the car ride up here.
That was me! (sighs)
467
00:19:19,994 --> 00:19:21,994
The ring!
What's, what's, what's the ring?
468
00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:24,830
Right, the ring. I'm gonna ask
Patrice to marry me.
469
00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:25,881
BOTH:
Are you serious?
470
00:19:25,883 --> 00:19:27,750
Jinx! Good!
471
00:19:27,752 --> 00:19:29,802
I need to say some things
without you interrupting.
472
00:19:29,804 --> 00:19:33,639
Yes, I am serious.
I know that if you could talk,
473
00:19:33,641 --> 00:19:35,007
you'd say that I'm crazy
474
00:19:35,009 --> 00:19:36,558
or that I'm overcorrecting
or that I'm moving too fast.
475
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,726
But you would be wrong.
476
00:19:37,728 --> 00:19:40,429
Look, I have banged my way
through every bimbo
477
00:19:40,431 --> 00:19:42,398
in the tristate area,
and it left me
478
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,516
feeling nothing but, but broken.
479
00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:47,519
But now, with Patrice,
480
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:51,123
for the first time in my life,
I feel settled and happy.
481
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:53,492
I want to feel this way forever.
482
00:19:53,494 --> 00:19:56,111
So tomorrow night on the roof
483
00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,863
of the World Wide News
building--
484
00:19:57,865 --> 00:19:59,164
that's Patrice's favorite spot--
485
00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:01,033
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
486
00:20:01,035 --> 00:20:03,268
Ah, poot-tu-tat!
You're jinxed.
487
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,421
I'll unjinx you if you'll follow
these two rules:
488
00:20:05,423 --> 00:20:07,589
one: you can't try to talk me
out of it,
489
00:20:07,591 --> 00:20:12,261
and two: you can't tell anybody.
Agreed?
490
00:20:15,765 --> 00:20:17,716
It's a jinx swear,
so if you break it,
491
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,918
I get to hit you in the nuts
three times
492
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,420
with a Wiffle ball bat.
493
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:26,225
Thank you... Ted.
494
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,096
Hey...
495
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,149
Hi, guys!
496
00:20:34,151 --> 00:20:35,701
No. But you're jinxed!
497
00:20:35,703 --> 00:20:38,120
I tricked Ted
into saying my name.
498
00:20:38,122 --> 00:20:39,705
ALL:
Aw, come on, Ted!
499
00:20:39,707 --> 00:20:41,540
Jinx! Jinx!
Ha-ha!
500
00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:45,828
The reign of terror
is back! (evil laugh)
501
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:48,380
Hey, if you guys don't want me
to smoke
502
00:20:48,382 --> 00:20:50,115
or fart in here, just speak up.
503
00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:51,633
Nothing? Great.
504
00:20:51,635 --> 00:20:54,970
Thanks for the spicy
beef jerky, dude.
505
00:20:54,972 --> 00:20:59,091
Anyway, I think we could
all use a little quiet.
506
00:20:59,093 --> 00:21:02,794
Unless you have something
you want to talk about, Ted?
507
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:05,764
No.
508
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:07,433
(engine starts)
509
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,603
Not happening, bro.
510
00:21:12,041 --> 00:21:17,041
== sync, corrected by elderman ==