1
00:00:01,420 --> 00:00:04,477
Kids, your aunt Robin had only
been dating Don a short while,

2
00:00:04,723 --> 00:00:06,546
But one evening, out of nowhere...

3
00:00:06,546 --> 00:00:08,424
- Robin? - Mm?
- Do you wanna move in?

4
00:00:09,789 --> 00:00:12,070
Well, um it it... it's...

5
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,797
Kind of soon, but...

6
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,135
Sure, I would consider...

7
00:00:16,492 --> 00:00:18,317
moving in here, just let me think about it.

8
00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:21,641
No, I meant do you want to move in
on the couch so I can sit down.

9
00:00:22,705 --> 00:00:25,141
Yeah, that's what I meant too,

10
00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:28,189
- Like I said, just let me think about it.
- Ok.

11
00:00:31,792 --> 00:00:33,626
- Yeah, I'm OK with that.
- Okay.

12
00:00:36,473 --> 00:00:39,019
But, now that you mentioned it...

13
00:00:40,172 --> 00:00:41,473
Do you wanna move in?

14
00:00:42,416 --> 00:00:43,813
So what did you say?

15
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:47,072
- I'm considering it.
- You're considering it?

16
00:00:47,072 --> 00:00:48,591
- Yeah.
- You barely know him.

17
00:00:48,851 --> 00:00:51,264
Plus the guy is a loser
with a dead end job.

18
00:00:51,264 --> 00:00:55,026
- We have the same job, Barney.
- And we couldn't be prouder of you, angel.

19
00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,823
- Oh, sweetie, this does seem kind of fast.
- I know.

20
00:00:58,823 --> 00:01:01,152
- Well, maybe you're right.
- Well, I think you should move in with him.

21
00:01:01,385 --> 00:01:02,372
- You do?
- Yeah.

22
00:01:02,691 --> 00:01:03,480
Yeah, I mean I...

23
00:01:03,787 --> 00:01:06,185
I see how happy you are and
as much as I love you as roommate,

24
00:01:06,505 --> 00:01:08,147
I want you to do what's right for you.

25
00:01:09,762 --> 00:01:12,151
Are you trying to kick me out
because of the milk thing?

26
00:01:12,151 --> 00:01:13,225
It's really annoying.

27
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:19,433
Robin?

28
00:01:31,598 --> 00:01:32,542
No...

29
00:01:32,542 --> 00:01:37,625
I have a system. I put the empty carton
back in the fridge to remind us to buy milk.

30
00:01:37,625 --> 00:01:41,420
Ok, why don't you leave a full carton
to remind us we don't have to buy milk?

31
00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:42,812
Alright, alright.

32
00:01:43,463 --> 00:01:44,593
As your ex...

33
00:01:44,593 --> 00:01:46,566
Before you jump in to anything,

34
00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:47,848
I need to meet this guy.

35
00:01:47,848 --> 00:01:50,221
I think it's kind of weird
I haven't met him yet.

36
00:01:50,221 --> 00:01:54,341
Totally weird, it's almost like someone
carefully orchestrated it that way on purpose.

37
00:01:56,271 --> 00:01:59,830
Fine, but you have to promise to be
on your best behavior.

38
00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:01,322
I promise.

39
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:04,036
So I'm banging this Portuguese
contortionist...

40
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,192
And I swear...

41
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:09,622
She is so flexible, at one point she was
on top of me and underneath me

42
00:02:09,622 --> 00:02:11,253
On top and down low!

43
00:02:14,059 --> 00:02:16,058
- Who needs? Who needs?
- I'm good.

44
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,254
- And that would be Barney,
- He means well.

45
00:02:19,533 --> 00:02:20,861
Well actually, I'm not sure that's true.

46
00:02:20,861 --> 00:02:22,271
Well, I think he's awesome.

47
00:02:22,737 --> 00:02:26,737
But I'd feel bad for any woman with the kinda low
self esteem who would actually date a guy like that.

48
00:02:27,932 --> 00:02:31,558
And that's when I realized Robin
never told Don she had dated Barney.

49
00:02:32,243 --> 00:02:33,492
I like you, Don.

50
00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:37,421
We both love a good Scotch, we
both enjoy my compelling stories

51
00:02:37,421 --> 00:02:39,070
And we both dated Robin.

52
00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,095
Now he knew.

53
00:02:57,397 --> 00:02:59,417
So Barney's your ex and
you still hang out with him?

54
00:02:59,938 --> 00:03:01,528
I gotta say I'm a little
uncomfortable with that.

55
00:03:01,528 --> 00:03:04,346
Oh, don't be, it's like we never dated.

56
00:03:04,794 --> 00:03:07,568
Long story short, this exchange students arms gave out

57
00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:09,444
And we both fell ass over sex swing.

58
00:03:10,175 --> 00:03:13,719
Seriously, I have not been able to find
a girl who can do that position since Robin.

59
00:03:15,087 --> 00:03:19,535
Hey, Lily, Marshall, how was your
weekend away or any other topic?

60
00:03:19,535 --> 00:03:21,342
- Awful.
- Terrible.

61
00:03:21,693 --> 00:03:25,635
Twin beds? I can't sleep in separate beds.

62
00:03:25,904 --> 00:03:27,374
We should go complain.

63
00:03:27,634 --> 00:03:30,975
Yeah, you're right, I'm gonna march
down there and demand another room.

64
00:03:30,975 --> 00:03:32,755
Yeah, I'll go with you and...

65
00:03:33,055 --> 00:03:35,189
Just a sec...

66
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,447
House keeping!

67
00:03:40,925 --> 00:03:43,627
Could you come back a little later?
We're taking a little cat nap.

68
00:03:44,019 --> 00:03:45,322
It's time to check out.

69
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,330
We slept for 18 hours.

70
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,464
- We missed 4 prepaid meals.
- I lost 11 pounds.

71
00:03:54,179 --> 00:03:57,026
Hey, Ted, you think it's weird that
Robin is still friends with Barney?

72
00:03:57,295 --> 00:03:59,348
I think it's weird that we're all
still friends with Barney.

73
00:03:59,677 --> 00:04:02,879
I just don't know how to feel about her
hanging out with one of her exes all the time.

74
00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:07,578
And that's when I realized Robin had failed
to tell Don about another one of her exes.

75
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:08,736
Me.

76
00:04:09,453 --> 00:04:13,667
No, hanging out with one ex
is fine, even 2 I'd give a pass.

77
00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,970
Hell, 2 might be even better than one.

78
00:04:16,971 --> 00:04:18,203
For some reason.

79
00:04:18,505 --> 00:04:21,022
Yeah, but if you were dating someone
and he hung out with one of his exes...

80
00:04:21,022 --> 00:04:21,865
Wait, I'm sorry.

81
00:04:22,543 --> 00:04:25,089
- He?
- Yeah, he was friends with one of his exes.

82
00:04:25,089 --> 00:04:26,826
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

83
00:04:27,088 --> 00:04:30,023
- Do you think I'm gay?
- Well...

84
00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:33,576
- Yeah.
- Why would you assume that?

85
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,771
- Hey.
- Hey, your calligraphy teacher called...

86
00:04:37,771 --> 00:04:40,072
- And?
- And your ink is in.

87
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,094
Yes.

88
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,884
Hey, guys, just wanna make sure
Project Runway is recording.

89
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,919
Did the Jets get new costumes?

90
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:54,665
Well, I guess we won't be having
creme brulee tonight,

91
00:04:54,665 --> 00:04:57,025
My browning torch is broken.

92
00:04:59,715 --> 00:05:02,493
You know, when I heard your roommate was
a single guy, I was a little jealous,

93
00:05:02,493 --> 00:05:03,991
But now that I know that he's gay...

94
00:05:03,991 --> 00:05:06,403
- I'm OK.
- Oh, but Ted's not....

95
00:05:06,403 --> 00:05:08,223
But we still got home made lady fingers

96
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:10,009
And piping hot Darjeeling.

97
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,046
Thank you.

98
00:05:12,538 --> 00:05:15,578
- Ted's not what?
- Ted's not gonna be around a lot.

99
00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:17,918
He's following Cher on tour.

100
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:22,319
Hey, don't get me wrong, Cher puts on
a hell of a show.

101
00:05:22,319 --> 00:05:23,722
But I am not gay.

102
00:05:24,481 --> 00:05:26,185
Hey, Lily, be honest.

103
00:05:26,185 --> 00:05:28,941
Is it weird that Robin hangs out
with one of her exes all the time?

104
00:05:28,941 --> 00:05:31,967
Well Ted and Robin broke up years ago.
It's a non issue.

105
00:05:31,967 --> 00:05:33,365
- Ted?
- And Robin?

106
00:05:33,365 --> 00:05:36,117
Not seeming so gay now, am I, Donnie?

107
00:05:36,117 --> 00:05:38,327
- An Appletini for the gentleman.
- Thank you.

108
00:05:39,294 --> 00:05:40,684
You dated Ted, too?

109
00:05:41,559 --> 00:05:43,722
Robin, of the four people you consider
your best friends in New York,

110
00:05:43,722 --> 00:05:46,018
you've slept with 50 percent of them.
- Don...

111
00:05:46,018 --> 00:05:47,292
They're just my friends.

112
00:05:47,292 --> 00:05:48,770
Yes, but they're also your exes.

113
00:05:49,055 --> 00:05:50,200
And you live with one of them.

114
00:05:51,366 --> 00:05:54,062
Look, I'm sorry. I gotta, I gotta think
about all this,

115
00:06:00,897 --> 00:06:02,021
My God!

116
00:06:02,021 --> 00:06:04,141
She's a 1000 degrees.

117
00:06:04,403 --> 00:06:06,756
It's like putting my leg against
a tail pipe.

118
00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:11,446
Ow!

119
00:06:11,446 --> 00:06:13,568
He's toe nails are like daggers.

120
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:18,987
I'd love a sandwich.

121
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,026
But no eating in bed.

122
00:06:21,546 --> 00:06:23,004
Stupid rule!

123
00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:24,906
We have ants one time...

124
00:06:28,684 --> 00:06:31,186
Great! And now he's falling asleep.

125
00:06:31,186 --> 00:06:33,393
Cue the river of drool.

126
00:06:37,026 --> 00:06:38,710
My knee itches.

127
00:06:39,117 --> 00:06:41,859
Just one little scratch.

128
00:06:45,507 --> 00:06:47,361
Marshall!

129
00:06:48,697 --> 00:06:52,116
- You think we should get separate beds?
- Yes, a mini fridge.

130
00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:53,703
And separate beds.

131
00:06:53,703 --> 00:06:54,754
Deal!

132
00:06:56,259 --> 00:06:57,984
- Don!
- Hi.

133
00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:00,018
I came to apologize to all of you.

134
00:07:00,018 --> 00:07:01,564
I overreacted.

135
00:07:01,564 --> 00:07:04,240
Well, we... owe you an apology too, Don.

136
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,310
We've said some pretty hurtful things.

137
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:08,902
- No, you didn't.
- Right, that was after you left.

138
00:07:09,992 --> 00:07:12,772
I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth
in the first place.

139
00:07:12,772 --> 00:07:15,721
No, I acted like a total drama queen.
That's not offensive, right?

140
00:07:15,721 --> 00:07:16,884
Still not gay.

141
00:07:16,884 --> 00:07:20,697
Sorry. The point is you both are clearly
very important to Robin,

142
00:07:20,697 --> 00:07:22,990
so why don't we all have dinner
tomorrow night at my place?

143
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:26,522
- Oh, that's great.
- Looking forward to it, buddy.

144
00:07:26,889 --> 00:07:28,309
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

145
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:32,107
- Should we go?
- Yeah, see you guys! - Bye.

146
00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:35,283
- Ted.
- Yeah.

147
00:07:36,510 --> 00:07:38,063
I must have Robin back.

148
00:07:43,789 --> 00:07:45,555
- You're kidding, right?
- No.

149
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,990
I don't know what it is,
but I want Robin back.

150
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,304
I know what it is... You're like...

151
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,514
a little kid who throws a toy away

152
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:56,004
And then wants it back the second
another kid starts playing with it.

153
00:07:56,004 --> 00:07:57,658
Well maybe I wasn't done playing with it.

154
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:01,229
Maybe I just set it down cause I wanted
to play with some other stuff for a second.

155
00:08:01,678 --> 00:08:04,138
Okay. You're ready.

156
00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:05,869
Ready for what?

157
00:08:06,291 --> 00:08:07,646
To read the letter.

158
00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:08,960
Kids...

159
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,747
The letter was a device I'd invented

160
00:08:10,747 --> 00:08:13,148
To remind myself why I'd broken up
with somebody.

161
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:14,850
I've been doing it for years.

162
00:08:15,534 --> 00:08:16,697
Dear future Ted,

163
00:08:17,395 --> 00:08:20,868
Never get back with Karen
because she's a pretentious snob.

164
00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:23,438
Oh, also she cheated on you.

165
00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:25,720
I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

166
00:08:27,894 --> 00:08:30,046
See? We're already laughing about it.

167
00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:32,829
Dear future Ted,

168
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:34,760
Stay away from Natalie.

169
00:08:35,101 --> 00:08:36,797
Or any girl who can pin you to the ground

170
00:08:36,797 --> 00:08:38,969
and beat you senseless
in front of a cheering crowd.

171
00:08:39,824 --> 00:08:41,097
P.S.

172
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:45,272
Please consult a therapist about
why that turned you on a little bit.

173
00:08:47,086 --> 00:08:49,681
Dear relationship genius

174
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:52,241
Stella left you at the altar,

175
00:08:52,925 --> 00:08:54,513
You may never love again.

176
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,138
And you'll probably die alone.

177
00:08:59,752 --> 00:09:00,615
Huh.

178
00:09:01,368 --> 00:09:03,530
It doesn't look so sad written
in calligraphy.

179
00:09:05,157 --> 00:09:07,894
So when Barney and Robin broke up
the previous fall...

180
00:09:07,894 --> 00:09:09,717
Dating Robin was a huge mistake.

181
00:09:09,998 --> 00:09:10,777
Write that down.

182
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:11,807
What?

183
00:09:11,807 --> 00:09:13,510
Write yourself a letter.

184
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:15,485
That way, when you miss Robin,

185
00:09:15,485 --> 00:09:18,086
And you will, you can remind yourself
why you broke up.

186
00:09:18,086 --> 00:09:19,400
- Gladly.
- Mhm.

187
00:09:20,153 --> 00:09:23,943
- Dear... future... Barney...
- Ooh.

188
00:09:24,737 --> 00:09:26,202
This ink is cool.

189
00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:27,830
Right? Right?

190
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,404
You....

191
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,092
and Robin were a terrible couple.

192
00:09:32,621 --> 00:09:34,087
It just didn't work.

193
00:09:34,401 --> 00:09:36,125
Sure, you'll always love Robin,

194
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,508
but remember other women?

195
00:09:37,508 --> 00:09:39,032
More importantly...

196
00:09:39,032 --> 00:09:40,825
remember other boobs,

197
00:09:41,557 --> 00:09:44,117
and all that cool stuff
you can do with boobs...

198
00:09:44,732 --> 00:09:48,520
Nozzle, juggle, honka, honka...

199
00:09:49,116 --> 00:09:51,658
I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.

200
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:56,024
And there's just a bunch of drawings
of boobs.

201
00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:59,353
- You get it now?
- Yeah, I get it.

202
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,186
I definitely want her back.

203
00:10:04,674 --> 00:10:07,524
I don't think human beings were ever
meant to sleep in the same bed.

204
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:11,328
Somehow sex and sleep got jumbled together
but they're two different things.

205
00:10:11,328 --> 00:10:12,304
I know.

206
00:10:12,304 --> 00:10:14,598
I mean I love you, but I want this new bed

207
00:10:14,598 --> 00:10:17,871
To be a sanctuary for sleep and sleep alone.

208
00:10:17,871 --> 00:10:21,020
Me too. And some light snacking
but that's it.

209
00:10:22,195 --> 00:10:23,481
Hey, you know what we should get?

210
00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:26,369
We should get a third bed, just for sex.

211
00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:28,847
Oh, yes, a sex bed...

212
00:10:28,847 --> 00:10:30,517
A dirty, dirty, sex bed.

213
00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:33,323
Genius. That way each bed will have a specific purpose.

214
00:10:33,323 --> 00:10:36,899
Exactly. We'll have 2 sleep beds,
a sex bed,

215
00:10:37,173 --> 00:10:40,115
And I'm thinking a bean bag chair
just for special birthday stuff.

216
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:41,695
Baby...

217
00:10:41,956 --> 00:10:44,968
- Did we just revolutionize modern marriage?
- Damn straight.

218
00:10:49,584 --> 00:10:51,295
- Hey!
- Hey!

219
00:10:51,541 --> 00:10:54,334
Hey, guys. hey, Don.
I hope you like sushi.

220
00:10:54,334 --> 00:10:58,460
How cool is that Don makes sushi?
He learned while on assignment in Japan.

221
00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,871
Mmm. Ring wormalicious.

222
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,383
Barney, be nice. You only want her
because you can't have her.

223
00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:07,317
It's like if I said "You can sit
anywhere in this room except...

224
00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,328
that chair."

225
00:11:08,328 --> 00:11:10,352
- Are you so petty that...
- My chair! My chair!

226
00:11:11,355 --> 00:11:14,599
Oh, spicy tuna with Jalapeña?
My favorite.

227
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:15,953
Mine too. I love spicy food.

228
00:11:15,953 --> 00:11:18,355
- The hotter, the better.
- I love spicy stuff too, guy.

229
00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:19,638
Probably more than you do.

230
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,089
Check it.

231
00:11:22,637 --> 00:11:23,704
Mmm.

232
00:11:23,946 --> 00:11:25,684
Super... hot.

233
00:11:27,094 --> 00:11:28,462
I'm not feeling here.

234
00:11:30,003 --> 00:11:30,852
Hey, Lily.

235
00:11:31,095 --> 00:11:34,490
You won't believe it. It's the craziest
thing. Don has twin beds too,

236
00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:36,683
Oh my God! We just got twin beds.

237
00:11:36,683 --> 00:11:38,802
Oh, oh. Great. Great.

238
00:11:39,317 --> 00:11:41,726
Oh, wait. That "great" didn't
sound so great.

239
00:11:41,986 --> 00:11:43,875
Well my ex wife and I thought
it would be a good idea

240
00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:45,356
But we just started to drift apart.

241
00:11:47,075 --> 00:11:49,894
Yeah, but I bet you didn't have
another bed just for sex.

242
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,518
No, but she did, at her
personal trainer's house.

243
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,817
This chili is like an ice cube
in my mouth.

244
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,141
I will say this, though...

245
00:11:58,141 --> 00:12:00,852
I'm gonna get a king size bed if Robin
decides to move in.

246
00:12:00,852 --> 00:12:03,156
Oh, I'd like that.

247
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:06,027
- If I move in.
- If you move in.

248
00:12:06,802 --> 00:12:08,338
Hey, hey, hey, Tokyo Don...

249
00:12:08,338 --> 00:12:09,313
You ever...

250
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,832
Do this back in Japan?

251
00:12:10,832 --> 00:12:12,278
- Wasabi!
- Barney, don't!

252
00:12:12,278 --> 00:12:14,131
- Oh, my God, Barney!
- Aaah!

253
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,527
- Awesome!
- Give him some milk.

254
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:20,585
- Spit it out, spit it out!
- Oh, we're out of milk.

255
00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,830
But thanks for the reminder, Robin.

256
00:12:25,465 --> 00:12:26,477
Oh, you're sweet...

257
00:12:26,477 --> 00:12:28,641
Well, I hope you're happy.

258
00:12:28,901 --> 00:12:30,754
Hey, I stand by what I did.

259
00:12:30,754 --> 00:12:32,998
It was bold and romantic.

260
00:12:33,358 --> 00:12:35,490
You soiled yourself from
both ends of your body.

261
00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:40,357
Oh, come on. You have done
tons of stupid stuff to impress Robin.

262
00:12:40,357 --> 00:12:43,621
Yeah, I did, but I don't anymore,
cause I'm over her.

263
00:12:43,621 --> 00:12:46,192
- Just like you are.
- You are not over her.

264
00:12:46,192 --> 00:12:49,217
You want her back just as much as I do,
you just won't let yourself go there.

265
00:12:49,217 --> 00:12:52,687
That is ridiculous and I'll tell you why.

266
00:12:54,953 --> 00:12:56,882
For my biographer?

267
00:12:56,882 --> 00:13:00,400
Just, just focus on the letter, okay?

268
00:13:01,503 --> 00:13:04,370
Dear Ted, Robin is
the perfect girl for you

269
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:06,510
but she doesn't want
to be in a serious relationship.

270
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:08,396
You need someone who wants to settle down.

271
00:13:08,636 --> 00:13:10,559
So until Robin is ready
for that next step,

272
00:13:10,985 --> 00:13:12,296
she's not your girl.

273
00:13:14,572 --> 00:13:17,627
Still, I'll always remember stealing her
the blue French horn,

274
00:13:18,654 --> 00:13:21,734
our first kiss, the look in her eye when she told me

275
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,082
she loved me.

276
00:13:26,245 --> 00:13:29,325
Dammit. Now I want her back.

277
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:39,127
So that night your uncle Barney and I
sat down to have a calm, rational discussion

278
00:13:39,127 --> 00:13:40,963
about who deserved Robin more.

279
00:13:40,963 --> 00:13:43,752
- No!
- I stole her a blue French horn...

280
00:13:43,752 --> 00:13:45,043
I dated her for a year.

281
00:13:45,043 --> 00:13:47,522
I wanted her to be the mother
of my children

282
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:48,920
and spend eternity in her arms.

283
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,680
She... I....

284
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,974
want to have sex with her
at least one more time.

285
00:13:53,974 --> 00:13:56,963
- She is mine.
- She's not yours.

286
00:13:56,963 --> 00:13:59,424
And she is not mine either. She's...

287
00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:01,902
- Don's.
- Yeah, right.

288
00:14:02,463 --> 00:14:04,459
- We gotta get rid of that guy.
- Yeah.

289
00:14:05,225 --> 00:14:07,908
- Yeah.
- You know, figuratively.

290
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,907
- Of course.
- Or literally.

291
00:14:14,839 --> 00:14:16,892
Oh my God, Ted, this is how it starts.

292
00:14:16,892 --> 00:14:20,648
This is how it starts. I'm scared, Teddy,
I'm scared, Teddy.

293
00:14:20,648 --> 00:14:23,963
- Two guys talking, two guys talking.
- Okay.

294
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,387
Okay.

295
00:14:25,387 --> 00:14:27,996
- Marshall, I'm worried.
- Why?

296
00:14:27,996 --> 00:14:30,062
I don't wanna get divorced.

297
00:14:30,062 --> 00:14:31,486
Oh, baby...

298
00:14:32,293 --> 00:14:33,231
Baby...

299
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:36,224
That's Don. That's not us.

300
00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:39,359
Our new sleeping arrangement is only
gonna bring us closer together.

301
00:14:40,554 --> 00:14:41,874
Now get out of my bed.

302
00:14:43,662 --> 00:14:46,416
- Can we at least push them together?
- Sure.

303
00:14:46,416 --> 00:14:49,918
- Okay. - Oh, you meant the beds.
I don't wanna do that.

304
00:14:49,918 --> 00:14:51,862
- Why not?
- Baby...

305
00:14:51,862 --> 00:14:53,943
I love you more than life itself.

306
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:55,684
But you're a million degrees.

307
00:14:55,684 --> 00:14:58,668
Honestly, I'm surprised your hourly
pee breaks aren't just steam.

308
00:14:59,177 --> 00:15:01,120
Well, you're no picnic in bed either.

309
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,404
Oh, except for the food and the ants. But...

310
00:15:03,787 --> 00:15:05,837
Well, I still want to be next to you.

311
00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:08,670
Why? So you can kick me and slap me
all night?

312
00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:12,225
I swear to God, the second you fall asleep
is like you grow extra limbs.

313
00:15:12,225 --> 00:15:14,621
It's like spooning
with a Hindu Didi Ganesh.

314
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:20,514
Wanna push them together?

315
00:15:20,514 --> 00:15:23,047
- We're still talking about the beds?
- Nope. - Get over here.

316
00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:27,199
- Robin Stinson.
- Robin Mosby.

317
00:15:27,199 --> 00:15:30,438
- Robin Stinson.
- Ted Scherbatzky. I'll take her name.

318
00:15:30,438 --> 00:15:32,379
- I don't care.
- Okay. Wait.

319
00:15:32,379 --> 00:15:34,922
How about this? How about this?
We share her.

320
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:39,127
I'll take her until she's forty
and then you can have her after that.

321
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,118
Who are we kidding, who are we kidding?
She's with Don now.

322
00:15:43,118 --> 00:15:44,625
We just have to accept that

323
00:15:44,898 --> 00:15:46,558
- and move on.
- You're right.

324
00:15:46,971 --> 00:15:48,908
I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to the behh...

325
00:15:48,908 --> 00:15:50,474
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

326
00:15:50,474 --> 00:15:51,864
And then I'll skedaddle.

327
00:15:57,428 --> 00:15:58,465
Hello?

328
00:15:58,465 --> 00:16:01,204
Hey, Robin, it's Barndoor.

329
00:16:01,204 --> 00:16:03,079
Guess what. I'm open.

330
00:16:03,322 --> 00:16:05,677
Hey, Barndoor. Hang on.
I'm getting another call.

331
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:08,659
- Hello?
- Hey, Robin.

332
00:16:08,906 --> 00:16:12,013
Teddy bear. Need a little honey?

333
00:16:13,631 --> 00:16:16,314
- No. Ted, hang on.
- Okay.

334
00:16:16,738 --> 00:16:18,731
Hey, Barney, I...I'm gonna
have to call you back.

335
00:16:18,731 --> 00:16:21,767
Ted's on the other line and I...
I think he's in trouble.

336
00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:24,918
Ted's calling you?
Oh, he's in trouble alright.

337
00:16:26,602 --> 00:16:27,723
Ted, what's up?

338
00:16:27,723 --> 00:16:30,392
You've pretty hair. That's what's up.

339
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:32,910
And down your back.

340
00:16:39,424 --> 00:16:42,679
Wow, we almost let
that get out of control.

341
00:16:42,679 --> 00:16:44,138
Agreed.

342
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:47,477
I'm gonna get out of here
before we do something we regret.

343
00:16:47,477 --> 00:16:49,037
Robin!

344
00:16:49,037 --> 00:16:50,940
Robin, I love you!

345
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:53,478
- You son of a bitch.
- Robin!

346
00:16:53,478 --> 00:16:54,522
Robin!

347
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,092
I brought you the blue French horn.

348
00:16:56,092 --> 00:16:58,091
I brought you the blue French horn, Robin!

349
00:16:58,091 --> 00:17:00,711
Ted is just holding it for me.
Sorry, buddy, I was there.

350
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,024
Oh God, guys...What are you doing?

351
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,582
Robin, I want you back!

352
00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:10,253
Hey, guys, why don't you come upstairs?

353
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:13,010
Oh, hey!

354
00:17:13,885 --> 00:17:16,102
Alright! Don...

355
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:17,362
Let's settle this!

356
00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:21,194
- You, me and Ted.
- Yeah, a 3-way.

357
00:17:22,578 --> 00:17:26,479
Look, guys, Robin and I have to go do our show,
so why don't you have a seat on the couch...

358
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,406
watch some television and we'll talk
about this when we get back, okay?

359
00:17:29,659 --> 00:17:32,269
Oh, you gave up easy. Game, set...

360
00:17:32,269 --> 00:17:33,255
Match!

361
00:17:33,255 --> 00:17:35,964
Winner wins a chicken dinner....

362
00:17:38,094 --> 00:17:39,190
Where's...

363
00:17:39,190 --> 00:17:42,324
Where's this TV you've been
bragging about?

364
00:17:42,324 --> 00:17:43,582
It's right here.

365
00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:51,852
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

366
00:17:53,104 --> 00:17:55,883
- Good night, boys.
- Night night, papa.

367
00:17:57,638 --> 00:17:59,690
- That was nice.
- Yeah.

368
00:18:02,852 --> 00:18:05,082
Well, you gots to go.

369
00:18:05,082 --> 00:18:06,531
What?

370
00:18:06,932 --> 00:18:08,406
Oh, I'm sorry.

371
00:18:08,406 --> 00:18:10,650
That was a blast. And you're great.

372
00:18:10,952 --> 00:18:12,951
I have to be up early, so...

373
00:18:14,224 --> 00:18:16,879
You're just kicking me out?

374
00:18:18,837 --> 00:18:20,192
You knew what this was.

375
00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:28,841
Lily, Lily, wait.

376
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,837
Don't forget your sweatshirt.
Nice try.

377
00:18:35,313 --> 00:18:37,954
- Teddy bear, Barndoor.
- Papa?

378
00:18:37,954 --> 00:18:40,391
Rise and shine, jackasses.

379
00:18:41,192 --> 00:18:43,231
So do you guys remember
anything from last night?

380
00:18:43,504 --> 00:18:44,955
Yeah...

381
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:49,427
Boy, was Ted drunk. Embarrassing!

382
00:18:51,553 --> 00:18:53,935
I'm really sorry. We both are.

383
00:18:54,702 --> 00:18:57,193
We were drunk and stupid, but...

384
00:18:58,342 --> 00:19:02,332
We're gonna do anything we can to make
sure that Don feels a part of the group.

385
00:19:03,482 --> 00:19:05,193
Don's not gonna be a part of the group.

386
00:19:06,281 --> 00:19:07,842
And neither am I.

387
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,005
At least for a while.

388
00:19:10,347 --> 00:19:13,356
Guys, this thing with Don is real.

389
00:19:14,136 --> 00:19:15,915
And I wanna see where it goes.

390
00:19:16,207 --> 00:19:17,818
And I'll never be able to do that

391
00:19:17,818 --> 00:19:20,688
if I keep hanging our with
my ex-boyfriends all the time.

392
00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:22,117
It just won't work.

393
00:19:24,984 --> 00:19:26,250
I'm moving in with Don.

394
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:44,790
* It should be boredom by now... *

395
00:19:47,734 --> 00:19:50,936
* I know the tricks... *

396
00:19:50,936 --> 00:19:53,031
So, what's going on with Robin?

397
00:19:53,031 --> 00:19:55,152
You were right. She was just mad.

398
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,385
It's been four days and she hasn't said
another word about moving out

399
00:19:57,385 --> 00:19:58,158
But listen...

400
00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:01,010
We can never pull crap like that
ever again.

401
00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:02,093
Agreed.

402
00:20:02,093 --> 00:20:05,666
In fact I even wrote myself
another letter.

403
00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:07,501
Dear future Barney,

404
00:20:07,851 --> 00:20:10,901
You think you want Robin back again
but you really don't.

405
00:20:11,136 --> 00:20:12,421
Let her go.

406
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:14,998
Sincerely, past Barney.

407
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:18,610
- Let me see that.
- Hey, hey, give it to me.

408
00:20:18,610 --> 00:20:22,292
P.S. That top part was just for Ted.
Did he buy it? Good.

409
00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:25,661
Now get back together with Robin,
but don't mention your plan to Ted,

410
00:20:25,661 --> 00:20:26,976
cause he'll just screw it up again.

411
00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:30,524
And then there's more drawings of boobs.

412
00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:33,720
Okay, okay. In my defense...

413
00:20:34,507 --> 00:20:36,779
- How great are boobs?
- They're pretty great.

414
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,325
- They're pretty great.
- So...

415
00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:45,207
* Oh I go for it every time *

416
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,081
Robin!

417
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:54,941
* Just like a heavy drinker...*

418
00:20:55,335 --> 00:21:04,772
* I go for it every time...
Hook, line and sinker *