1 00:00:00,430 --> 00:00:02,722 Kids, when you're on your 30s and living in New York, 2 00:00:02,847 --> 00:00:04,796 there's a few places you never want to be: 3 00:00:05,389 --> 00:00:06,798 Times Square on New Year's Eve, 4 00:00:07,169 --> 00:00:09,092 Rockefeller Center around Christmas time... 5 00:00:09,817 --> 00:00:10,902 But most of all... 6 00:00:11,027 --> 00:00:14,536 A college bar? Man. We're probably going to run into my students. 7 00:00:14,661 --> 00:00:16,850 They're going to corner me and want a free lecture. 8 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,726 I don't even have my slide projector. Damn it. 9 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:22,655 Ted, I've been Skee-Ball champ here since law school. 10 00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:25,597 I have to pop in at least once a month to maintain my record. 11 00:00:26,066 --> 00:00:27,944 Looks like you've been gone a while. 12 00:00:28,252 --> 00:00:30,781 Some guy named Big Fudge has been cleaning up. 13 00:00:30,949 --> 00:00:31,797 He has. 14 00:00:32,325 --> 00:00:34,618 - And you're Big Fudge. - The biggest. 15 00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,776 So by the way, I have to tell you something. 16 00:00:38,901 --> 00:00:41,339 I... invited Jenkins. 17 00:00:41,464 --> 00:00:42,876 Jenkins? No way! 18 00:00:43,158 --> 00:00:45,837 We'd all started hearing about Jenkins a few weeks earlier. 19 00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:49,466 You guys will not believe what Jenkins did this time. 20 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:52,376 - Who's Jenkins? - He's this hilarious new lawyer 21 00:00:52,501 --> 00:00:54,051 at Marshall's office. 22 00:00:54,244 --> 00:00:55,220 Hilarious. 23 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,641 Okay, so there's this jar of Maraschino cherries in the fridge at work. 24 00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,643 So, Jenkins says, 25 00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:04,975 "200 bucks, I'll eat the whole jar." 26 00:01:06,002 --> 00:01:07,984 So, we give Jenkins 200 bucks... 27 00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:12,578 ... and Jenkins ate the whole jar! 28 00:01:18,698 --> 00:01:20,767 And after that, the stories kept coming. 29 00:01:20,892 --> 00:01:23,540 So, the CFO comes in to sign some acquisition papers. 30 00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:25,250 So, Jenkins goes, 31 00:01:25,525 --> 00:01:27,486 "Excuse me, Mr. Wilcox. 32 00:01:27,611 --> 00:01:29,881 I think we forgot one of the documents." 33 00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,725 So, we all go out for beers after work. 34 00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:44,067 Jenkins gets up on the bar and starts gyrating 35 00:01:44,192 --> 00:01:46,436 like some sort of deranged stripper. 36 00:01:46,561 --> 00:01:49,859 Next thing you know, off comes the shirt! 37 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,327 It was so gross. 38 00:01:54,265 --> 00:01:55,265 Right? 39 00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:58,409 Well, it'll be great to finally meet the famous Jenkins 40 00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:00,203 after all those stories. 41 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,439 And there's about to be one more story. 42 00:02:02,564 --> 00:02:04,082 I'm going to bang Jenkins. 43 00:02:04,508 --> 00:02:05,875 - What? - You heard me. 44 00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,670 You want to have sex with Jenkins? 45 00:02:08,947 --> 00:02:11,451 With Jenkins, on Jenkins, near Jenkins. 46 00:02:11,576 --> 00:02:14,634 You name it. I want to wear Jenkins like a sock. 47 00:02:16,243 --> 00:02:17,393 But you're... 48 00:02:17,616 --> 00:02:18,976 Haven't you... I'm... 49 00:02:19,297 --> 00:02:20,731 - Really? - Hi, guys. 50 00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:22,623 Ted, this is Jenkins. 51 00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,590 Synchro: ShalimarFox, -Titou- 52 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,864 .:: La Fabrique ::. 53 00:02:38,751 --> 00:02:40,410 This is going to sound crazy, 54 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:43,079 But, um... I thought Jenkins was a guy. What gave you that idea? 55 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,870 What? That's crazy! 56 00:02:46,285 --> 00:02:49,292 I don't know. Maybe the whole "Jenkins peed out the window of a cab" story. 57 00:02:49,462 --> 00:02:51,450 Yeah. Much more impressive now, isn't it? 58 00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:53,047 OK, I'll come clean! 59 00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:55,632 It all started a few weeks ago. 60 00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:59,380 By the way, Four Eyes, new lawyer. This is Jenkins. 61 00:02:59,505 --> 00:03:01,389 Watch out for this guy. He steals stuff. 62 00:03:01,832 --> 00:03:02,974 I don't steal stuff. 63 00:03:04,364 --> 00:03:06,114 And I don't wear glasses. 64 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,439 - I'm Marshall. - Hi. 65 00:03:10,119 --> 00:03:13,358 So, are you really a Vikings fan or was he lying about that, too? 66 00:03:13,913 --> 00:03:14,714 Why? 67 00:03:14,839 --> 00:03:16,554 Is this a trap? Are you a Packers fan? 68 00:03:16,679 --> 00:03:18,950 My wife knows I'm here. She doesn't have money, 69 00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:21,826 but what she does have is a very special set of skills. 70 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:24,765 I'm a Vikings fan, too! I bleed purple and gold. 71 00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:27,081 - I'm from Pelican Rapids. - Pelican Rapids? 72 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:28,708 No way. 73 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,707 My grandpa lives in Pelican Rapids. 74 00:03:30,832 --> 00:03:33,796 Well, I mean, he's dead now, but he haunts a barn off Route 108. 75 00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:36,339 Hold it. Dude, 76 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,270 if you tell me you have a thing for a woman that is not your wife, 77 00:03:39,395 --> 00:03:41,220 I'll drag you outside and kick your ass. 78 00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:43,317 Okay, first of all... 79 00:03:43,987 --> 00:03:46,058 Come on, buddy. You can't handle the Fudge. 80 00:03:46,872 --> 00:03:48,132 Second of all, no. 81 00:03:48,257 --> 00:03:50,681 I think of her like a... a big brother. 82 00:03:50,946 --> 00:03:52,440 Who, I guess, has boobs. 83 00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:54,859 But so does my oldest brother, Marvin Jr., anyway, 84 00:03:55,457 --> 00:03:58,321 that night, I told Lily about Jenkins. 85 00:03:59,207 --> 00:04:00,698 I can't wait to meet him. 86 00:04:01,293 --> 00:04:02,712 I should have corrected her. 87 00:04:02,837 --> 00:04:04,535 It would have been so easy. 88 00:04:05,038 --> 00:04:06,578 But I didn't, so, 89 00:04:06,782 --> 00:04:09,110 after that, whenever I talked about Jenkins, 90 00:04:09,235 --> 00:04:11,209 I always avoided pronouns. 91 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:15,043 So, the head of marketing comes in to choose people for the Midwest audit. 92 00:04:15,366 --> 00:04:16,294 So, he goes, 93 00:04:16,419 --> 00:04:19,566 "Him, him, her, him, him... 94 00:04:20,454 --> 00:04:22,177 Jenkins, him, her." 95 00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:24,387 I don't understand why you wouldn't just tell her. 96 00:04:24,736 --> 00:04:26,904 Do you really think she'd be all that jealous? 97 00:04:27,029 --> 00:04:28,893 Think about those stories I told you. 98 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,417 I could see how that'd be a problem. 99 00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:48,871 Exactly. That's why Lily can't find out. 100 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,540 Lily can't find out what? 101 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,875 That Marshall's going to buy her a horse. 102 00:04:53,268 --> 00:04:54,268 You are? 103 00:04:54,637 --> 00:04:57,187 That is so awesome! I love those things. 104 00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:02,552 Guys, why... why is that kid over there staring at me? 105 00:05:04,335 --> 00:05:06,053 I think I know what this is. 106 00:05:06,303 --> 00:05:08,556 I think it has finally happened. 107 00:05:09,074 --> 00:05:11,143 I'm getting recognized from my show. 108 00:05:12,225 --> 00:05:14,397 Robin, that is so cute. 109 00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:18,067 But that's Scotty. He's one of my students, and he's looking at me. 110 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,838 How weird is it that I'm more famous than you? 111 00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:23,573 Not at all, 'cause you're not. I'm on TV. 112 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:27,243 Yeah, and I've 30 students in my class. That's what, 30 times your viewership? 113 00:05:28,235 --> 00:05:31,366 Now, this will give him a little thrill, buying a drink for the old prof. 114 00:05:33,112 --> 00:05:35,094 All right, Scotter, one question about 115 00:05:35,219 --> 00:05:37,211 neoclassical architecture, and that is it. 116 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,280 - You're Robin Scherbatsky, right? - What? 117 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,640 Yes, I am. 118 00:05:42,183 --> 00:05:44,433 I didn't mean to stare. It's just, 119 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,595 I watch your show all the time. 120 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,240 Really? 121 00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:49,181 Really? 122 00:05:49,351 --> 00:05:50,349 Totally. 123 00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:55,015 - What are you doing out with Ted? - It's Professor Mosby. 124 00:05:55,524 --> 00:05:56,784 We're friends. 125 00:05:56,909 --> 00:05:57,909 Holy crap! 126 00:05:58,546 --> 00:06:01,110 Robin Scherbatsky is friends with my econ professor. 127 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,065 It's architecture! OK, you know what? 128 00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:05,311 You're crowding us. Hit the bricks. 129 00:06:06,603 --> 00:06:08,619 - Wait a minute. You're Big Fudge. - Go! 130 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,706 Baby, I'm on my way up. 131 00:06:14,529 --> 00:06:15,541 What? Why? 132 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,881 There was a measles outbreak at school, and they called a half day. 133 00:06:19,006 --> 00:06:21,104 Thought I'd come by here, have lunch, 134 00:06:21,229 --> 00:06:22,715 maybe give you the measles. 135 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,137 I have a problem. That was my wife. 136 00:06:28,651 --> 00:06:31,640 When I first mentioned you, she mistakenly thought you were a guy... 137 00:06:31,810 --> 00:06:33,961 Now you're worried that when she finds out I'm a woman, 138 00:06:34,086 --> 00:06:36,937 - she's going to totally flip out. - Yes. Exactly. 139 00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:40,725 Geez. Oh, gosh. I was in an improv group in Pelican Rapids. 140 00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:42,318 Follow my lead. 141 00:06:47,801 --> 00:06:49,325 I'm Lily, Marshall's wife. 142 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,606 Hi, Lily. I am from the French embassy. 143 00:06:51,731 --> 00:06:54,360 I am here because of a small but significant 144 00:06:54,485 --> 00:06:56,999 - cheese incident that occurred... - She's Jenkins! 145 00:07:03,905 --> 00:07:05,091 You're Jenkins? 146 00:07:05,774 --> 00:07:09,629 Yeah, well, that, Camembert cris isn't going to resolve itself, 147 00:07:09,754 --> 00:07:11,777 so I'll catch you guys on the flip-flop. 148 00:07:12,061 --> 00:07:14,684 Marshall cringed. This was the moment he had feared. 149 00:07:14,991 --> 00:07:17,514 The famous Jenkins! How about that? 150 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,356 Funny, I was picturing a guy. Anywho, lunch? 151 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,859 Wait. Wait. So... so, you're not jealous at all? 152 00:07:26,219 --> 00:07:27,162 Sweetie. 153 00:07:27,358 --> 00:07:29,699 I never have to worry about you with another woman. 154 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,660 Right, because we're so hopelessly in love, right? 155 00:07:33,013 --> 00:07:34,063 Yeah, sure. 156 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:35,655 Anywho, lunch? 157 00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:38,767 She wasn't jealous. 158 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,376 Of course, she wasn't. 159 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,420 That's the whole dynamic of your relationship. 160 00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:45,566 - What's that supposed to mean? - It's like this, my man. 161 00:07:45,691 --> 00:07:48,849 Every good relationship has a reacher and a settler. 162 00:07:48,974 --> 00:07:52,242 Exactly. One person reaches for someone out of their league; 163 00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:54,889 the other one settles for someone below theirs. 164 00:07:55,406 --> 00:07:57,693 I did not settle for Lily. 165 00:07:57,818 --> 00:07:59,437 Okay, yes, she's a little short, 166 00:07:59,803 --> 00:08:03,274 and, true, my mom says she doesn't have the hips to birth an Eriksen child, 167 00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:04,368 But, um... 168 00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:07,320 You guys think I'm the reacher. 169 00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,959 That's why Lily's not jealous. 170 00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:11,870 The settler is never jealous of the reacher because, 171 00:08:11,995 --> 00:08:13,701 where is the reacher going to go? 172 00:08:14,008 --> 00:08:16,035 The settler, Lily, is the best thing 173 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,270 that the reacher, Marshall, is ever going to get. 174 00:08:18,395 --> 00:08:20,881 No... okay. Yes, I am lucky to have Lily, 175 00:08:21,006 --> 00:08:22,996 but Lily is just as lucky... 176 00:08:23,663 --> 00:08:24,629 to have me. 177 00:08:25,031 --> 00:08:27,167 Okay. Neither one of us is the reacher. 178 00:08:27,292 --> 00:08:31,070 Dude, you are so the reacher. You're getting her a horse! 179 00:08:33,177 --> 00:08:34,186 What? 180 00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:35,439 Take the hit. 181 00:08:35,794 --> 00:08:36,944 Take the hit. 182 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,643 Thus ending modern architecture's 183 00:08:40,884 --> 00:08:44,276 very brief experiment with the V-frame house. 184 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,311 Excuse me a second. 185 00:08:50,061 --> 00:08:52,172 - What are you doing here? - I noticed you forgot 186 00:08:52,297 --> 00:08:54,698 something this morning, so I thought I'd bring it by. 187 00:08:54,823 --> 00:08:56,751 - Your pen. - This is your pen. 188 00:08:56,876 --> 00:08:59,163 And you chewed on the end of it. Recently. 189 00:08:59,508 --> 00:09:02,041 Not a problem, Ted. Your class was on my way to work. 190 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,882 - No, it's not. - At "Come On, Get Up New York!", 191 00:09:05,007 --> 00:09:08,934 - where I'm an anchor, so... - I watch your show all the time. 192 00:09:09,824 --> 00:09:10,824 What?! 193 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,177 You watch the show? 194 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,809 Well, paint me flattered. Any other fans out there? 195 00:09:16,225 --> 00:09:17,225 We got... 196 00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,725 - All right. Thanks for coming by. - Tune in tonight. 197 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,561 I am doing a great piece on snail poison. 198 00:09:24,304 --> 00:09:26,649 Also, who's got the worst pizza in New York? 199 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:29,860 I'll give you the answer after traffic on the ones, threes, fives and nines. 200 00:09:32,251 --> 00:09:33,286 Really? 201 00:09:33,411 --> 00:09:34,859 You guys watch her show? 202 00:09:34,984 --> 00:09:37,827 It's like watching a well-lit aquarium, but not as interesting. 203 00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,079 And now that I think about it, not as well lit. 204 00:09:41,252 --> 00:09:42,402 The truth is, we... 205 00:09:42,527 --> 00:09:44,041 watch it for the drinking game. 206 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,251 The who now? 207 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,729 Her morning show comes on so early, 208 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,531 we're usually still at the bar, 209 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,491 so whenever she does an interview, 210 00:09:51,616 --> 00:09:54,092 you have to drink every time she says, "But, um..." 211 00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:56,679 "But, um..."? 212 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:57,847 "But, um..." 213 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,932 Apparently, she says it a lot. 214 00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:01,318 It's funny. 215 00:10:01,443 --> 00:10:03,372 I had a drinking game based on Robin, 216 00:10:03,497 --> 00:10:06,814 but it was actually on Robin. I'd pour peach schnapps in her belly button... 217 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,437 - We agreed we wouldn't do this. - Sorry. You're right. 218 00:10:09,562 --> 00:10:11,043 She didn't like it anyway. 219 00:10:11,168 --> 00:10:12,361 Said it woke her up. 220 00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:16,407 Does she say "But, um..." that much? 221 00:10:17,062 --> 00:10:19,813 That night, we found out just how much she said it. 222 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,502 That's great. 223 00:10:22,921 --> 00:10:24,873 This wasn't your first Spelling bee, was it? 224 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,083 Third. 225 00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:28,017 Good for you. 226 00:10:48,226 --> 00:10:50,232 Interesting article in the paper. 227 00:10:50,938 --> 00:10:53,736 Says that in every relationship, there's a reacher and a settler. 228 00:10:54,563 --> 00:10:56,134 Really? Let me see it. 229 00:10:56,259 --> 00:10:59,116 I's not in this newspaper. It's in one I read a while back. 230 00:10:59,312 --> 00:11:01,900 This newspaper reminded me of the other newspaper. 231 00:11:02,025 --> 00:11:03,123 Anywho... 232 00:11:04,275 --> 00:11:05,873 What do you think about that? 233 00:11:06,313 --> 00:11:08,625 Well, I guess sometimes that's the case. 234 00:11:09,473 --> 00:11:10,502 But not in ours. 235 00:11:10,939 --> 00:11:12,463 What? Of course not. 236 00:11:12,813 --> 00:11:13,813 Right. 237 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,980 Say, gun to your head... 238 00:11:19,623 --> 00:11:22,447 You had to say one of us was the reacher. 239 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,062 Well, I'd say it's neither. 240 00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:26,810 That's what makes us great. 241 00:11:28,436 --> 00:11:30,808 Now, there's a gun to my head 242 00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:33,889 and our future children, and our future cat or monkey, 243 00:11:34,014 --> 00:11:36,737 depending on who wins the game we've been playing for three years. 244 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,990 No reacher, no settler. 245 00:11:43,564 --> 00:11:44,564 How about this? 246 00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,439 This went on for a while. 247 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:48,924 Until finally... 248 00:11:49,623 --> 00:11:52,352 Our two kids, our eight grandkids, 249 00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:54,773 our 11 great-grandkids, 250 00:11:54,898 --> 00:11:58,190 are all on a plane piloted by Oprah. 251 00:11:58,794 --> 00:12:01,495 And it's about to crash into an art museum 252 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:04,140 With all of your favorite paintings, and the only way... 253 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:07,922 the only way to save everything is just to answer the question: 254 00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:10,740 Are you the reacher or the settler? 255 00:12:12,217 --> 00:12:13,565 And Oprah's tried everything? 256 00:12:13,735 --> 00:12:14,798 Everything! 257 00:12:14,923 --> 00:12:16,633 You have to decide now. 258 00:12:18,859 --> 00:12:21,339 Well, I guess, if I had to say, 259 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,660 then maybe I'd say I'm the settler. 260 00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,528 How could you say that?! 261 00:12:26,985 --> 00:12:28,789 She thinks that she's the settler. 262 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:34,002 I mean, that's it. I gotta prove to her that I am not the reacher. 263 00:12:34,446 --> 00:12:35,754 I gotta make her jealous. 264 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:39,049 That's easy. Here's the plan. Step one, sleep with Jenkins. 265 00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:41,385 Step two, I sleep with Jenkins first. 266 00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:43,673 Step three, we do step two first. 267 00:12:43,798 --> 00:12:46,148 I'm gonna go get started on step two. 268 00:12:47,451 --> 00:12:48,850 I got something. 269 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,729 Remember the other night, the game? When you were putting in the 50 hole? 270 00:12:53,108 --> 00:12:55,649 Whatever. Just another night for big fudge. 271 00:13:19,262 --> 00:13:20,673 You thought she was into me? 272 00:13:20,798 --> 00:13:22,361 Full-on lady wood. 273 00:13:24,734 --> 00:13:25,919 Of course. 274 00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:28,223 A plan taketh shape. 275 00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:31,326 If lady Lily's jealousy 276 00:13:31,451 --> 00:13:34,212 young Marshall cannot budge, 277 00:13:34,621 --> 00:13:38,233 then perchance, fair gentles, big fudge... 278 00:13:39,371 --> 00:13:40,371 Can... 279 00:13:40,784 --> 00:13:42,613 make her jealous. Let me try that again. 280 00:13:42,962 --> 00:13:43,989 If lady Lily's... 281 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,156 I got it. 282 00:13:49,205 --> 00:13:51,289 I have got a great idea. 283 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,317 Is it clean your hair out of the shower drain? 284 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:56,459 It's like you're trying to carpet the tub. 285 00:13:56,940 --> 00:14:00,215 If you wanted to print out one of your lectures or something, 286 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,990 I could read it on air. 287 00:14:02,124 --> 00:14:03,568 Coming from a more... 288 00:14:03,693 --> 00:14:05,405 entertaining source. 289 00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:08,190 Your students might actually pay attention and learn something. 290 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,194 You're entertaining? 291 00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:12,290 Last night, there was three minutes of dead air 292 00:14:12,415 --> 00:14:14,311 while you sewed a button back on your sweater. 293 00:14:14,769 --> 00:14:17,635 Look, just because your class likes me more than you... 294 00:14:17,942 --> 00:14:20,150 - You're a drinking game! - What? 295 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,582 That's why they watch. They made a drinking game out of you. 296 00:14:22,707 --> 00:14:25,431 Every time you say "But, um...", They do a shot. 297 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,253 I don't say "But, um...". I've never said, "But, um..." 298 00:14:31,378 --> 00:14:33,379 I guess it's not a very good drinking game. 299 00:14:33,504 --> 00:14:35,543 Which would mean last night, when I played it, 300 00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:38,886 I didn't get super wasted and throw up all over myself. 301 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,672 Wait, I did both of those things. 302 00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:44,001 So, face. 303 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:54,059 Lily and I are gonna go back to that college bar again. 304 00:14:54,414 --> 00:14:56,706 And we were wondering if maybe you wanted to come. 305 00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:59,017 You could just watch me play skee-ball, 306 00:14:59,142 --> 00:15:01,103 or do exactly what you did the other night. 307 00:15:01,228 --> 00:15:03,151 Something like that. It's really up to you. 308 00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:04,919 I mean, I know that... 309 00:15:22,609 --> 00:15:24,256 Baby, what are you doing home? 310 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:26,637 "Baby". 311 00:15:27,829 --> 00:15:29,548 That's a name I don't deserve. 312 00:15:30,115 --> 00:15:31,764 - What? - Jenkins kissed me. 313 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:33,932 She kissed me. 314 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:38,234 The other day, she saw me play skee-ball, and I don't know, 315 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,272 she caught some of the big fudge fever. 316 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,719 But you have to know, I stopped it right away. 317 00:15:43,844 --> 00:15:46,775 And just, you're the only one for me, baby. 318 00:15:48,802 --> 00:15:50,970 I see what this is. 319 00:15:51,095 --> 00:15:53,869 This is about the whole reacher/settler thing. 320 00:15:54,433 --> 00:15:55,913 Come again for big fudge? 321 00:15:56,094 --> 00:15:59,416 You want to make me jealous, you're making up a story about Jenkins. 322 00:15:59,905 --> 00:16:01,377 I'm not making this up! 323 00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:05,344 This happened. That woman kissed me with tongue. 324 00:16:05,469 --> 00:16:07,091 Her tongue was in my mouth. 325 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:08,634 Sure it was. 326 00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:12,388 It was thick and rough like a starfish arm. 327 00:16:13,131 --> 00:16:14,844 I'm so jealous. 328 00:16:14,969 --> 00:16:17,658 I'm just gonna go over there and punch her right in the nose. 329 00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:20,020 Give her a knuckle sandwich. 330 00:16:20,418 --> 00:16:21,397 Come on, baby. 331 00:16:21,844 --> 00:16:23,294 You want some soup? 332 00:16:24,719 --> 00:16:25,819 It happened! 333 00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,664 Do you have any... 334 00:16:29,404 --> 00:16:30,654 split pea left? 335 00:16:32,657 --> 00:16:34,766 These are just a few of the many contributions 336 00:16:34,891 --> 00:16:36,495 he made to architecture, and yet, 337 00:16:36,945 --> 00:16:38,747 he is only remembered for one thing. 338 00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:42,048 That my friends, is the sad legacy... 339 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,477 of Gregorio Franchetti Gazebo. 340 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:48,549 Any questions? 341 00:16:48,718 --> 00:16:51,135 - Do you want to drink with us tonight? - What? 342 00:16:51,602 --> 00:16:53,844 We're gonna play the Robin Scherbatsky drinking game. 343 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:56,104 We were wondering if you wanted to join us. 344 00:16:57,651 --> 00:16:59,301 What can I say, except 345 00:16:59,906 --> 00:17:01,206 "But, ums up."? 346 00:17:03,782 --> 00:17:04,947 Can I still come? 347 00:17:06,094 --> 00:17:07,094 I'll pay. 348 00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:12,492 So, your third book was your breakout novel, 349 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,577 Damn! 350 00:17:16,890 --> 00:17:17,661 Sorry. 351 00:17:18,634 --> 00:17:21,120 But... just "But", no "Um,", just "But." 352 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,502 Your first novel was written more quickly. 353 00:17:25,925 --> 00:17:27,005 That's correct. 354 00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:31,717 How great is this?! 355 00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:36,321 And it was right then that Robin got an idea 356 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:38,348 that would end the drinking game forever. 357 00:17:38,845 --> 00:17:42,469 I wanted to ask you about the novel you're writing right now. 358 00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,356 ... it's an idea you've had for a... 359 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,358 long time... 360 00:17:51,802 --> 00:17:53,113 Don't drink, it's a trap! 361 00:17:53,684 --> 00:17:56,086 I think I'm gonna go. You can keep your ten bucks. 362 00:17:57,937 --> 00:17:58,952 Thanks. 363 00:17:59,649 --> 00:18:01,602 If there's any college kids watching, 364 00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,942 We have to drink, professor. 365 00:18:06,408 --> 00:18:07,408 It's the rules. 366 00:18:08,151 --> 00:18:09,551 She said "But, um". 367 00:18:12,605 --> 00:18:14,098 God help us all. 368 00:18:16,924 --> 00:18:17,804 Here you are. 369 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,974 I'm so sorry I kissed you yesterday. 370 00:18:21,508 --> 00:18:22,400 That's okay. 371 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,811 And I'm sorry I had sex with you in the mailroom. 372 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:25,937 That wasn't me. 373 00:18:26,219 --> 00:18:29,719 Good grief, that's two awkward conversations I have to have today. 374 00:18:29,844 --> 00:18:31,532 I don't normally do that. 375 00:18:31,657 --> 00:18:33,069 I was really drunk. 376 00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:34,946 You were drunk at 8:00? 377 00:18:35,116 --> 00:18:36,656 I don't know how that happened. 378 00:18:37,156 --> 00:18:39,127 I thought snail pellets were safe. 379 00:18:45,664 --> 00:18:47,164 I gotta get to work. 380 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:50,879 That game is catching on. 381 00:18:51,155 --> 00:18:52,714 Damn it, how could I do this? 382 00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:53,924 It's okay. 383 00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,425 You know what, it's not okay. 384 00:18:55,831 --> 00:18:57,859 You're the nicest guy in this stupid office 385 00:18:57,984 --> 00:18:59,930 and I don't want to screw up our friendship. 386 00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:02,933 This is so embarrassing. Don't tell anyone. 387 00:19:04,654 --> 00:19:06,595 Who am I gonna tell? Lily? 388 00:19:06,906 --> 00:19:07,896 I told Lily. 389 00:19:08,308 --> 00:19:10,220 For Pete's sake, I gotta go talk to her. 390 00:19:10,345 --> 00:19:11,965 I gotta apologize. 391 00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,653 I'm gonna tell her that it happened, 392 00:19:15,778 --> 00:19:17,844 that it meant nothing and that I'm sorry. 393 00:19:24,165 --> 00:19:26,081 - Do that. - I will. 394 00:19:26,378 --> 00:19:28,403 And if you don't have time for all that, 395 00:19:28,528 --> 00:19:30,835 tell her it happened, and that you're sorry. 396 00:19:31,005 --> 00:19:33,147 And if you're in a real rush, don't say "Sorry". 397 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,644 Tell her that it happened. 398 00:19:34,769 --> 00:19:37,396 That's the important part, that it actually happened. 399 00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:40,428 So emphasize that as much as you can. 400 00:19:41,707 --> 00:19:43,563 And so, Lily, I guess what I'm saying is, 401 00:19:43,688 --> 00:19:44,645 it happened. 402 00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:47,310 I feel terrible about it, and I'm really sorry. 403 00:19:49,341 --> 00:19:50,188 It happened. 404 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,771 What are you going to do? 405 00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:53,896 It happened. 406 00:19:54,146 --> 00:19:55,146 Terrible! 407 00:19:55,575 --> 00:19:56,975 But like I said... 408 00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,584 - It happened. - And I feel awful about it. 409 00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:01,713 And I'd hate myself if what I did, 410 00:20:01,838 --> 00:20:04,994 hurt you in any way or affected your relationship. 411 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:06,860 Please forgive me. 412 00:20:07,745 --> 00:20:09,019 Kiss my husband? 413 00:20:09,144 --> 00:20:12,986 My husband? Nobody kisses my future baby daddy but me! 414 00:20:15,512 --> 00:20:17,762 Marshall, you're blocking the shot! 415 00:20:18,132 --> 00:20:21,052 And, kids, your uncle marshall never tried to make Lily jealous again. 416 00:20:22,211 --> 00:20:23,459 That's good. 417 00:20:31,276 --> 00:20:34,476 We're just going to have a nice, low-key class today. 418 00:20:36,014 --> 00:20:37,144 Not a lot of talking. 419 00:20:38,912 --> 00:20:40,162 No loud noises. 420 00:20:43,228 --> 00:20:44,076 'sup guys? 421 00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:48,080 Please, just go away. 422 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,468 I just wanted to drop by and say... 423 00:20:52,589 --> 00:20:54,086 Thanks for watching 424 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,559 Come on, get up New York!